Ecology of life. Psychology: The very phrase hurts our ears - a free woman. It's much more common to call her...
The fact that double standards exist in our society no longer surprises anyone. They work in politics (when some can break the law, but others cannot), and in education (when average education with programs common to all students is designed, by some miracle, to raise unique individuals), and in the field of intergender relations.
On the one hand, globalization has led to the fact that many values have become common to a large number of people, on the other hand, the collective unconscious of a particular society keeps in the grip of prejudices and stereotypes. Not all of them are bad, but some don't stand up to scrutiny, e.g. prejudices about women's freedom.
In an unfree society, it is stupid to talk about personal freedom at all; probably, this results in an attitude towards the life and behavior of a free woman filled with condemnation and negative assessments. The phrase itself hurts our ears - a free woman. It is much more common to call her a divorcee, an old maid, an evil careerist, a blue stocking, and so on. And these are not just names, behind them there is a real attitude towards a woman who, for various reasons, does not currently have a partner.
And just like hundreds of years ago, man without woman- a free fighter of the invisible sexual front and generally a good guy, macho and a tasty morsel on the marriage market. A woman without man- a subhuman, a half-baked creature, an unfortunate restless creature who a priori cannot be happy, because the main component of happiness - a man - is not nearby.
Every person (both men and women equally) wants love and, by and large, a conscious person cultivates this love within himself all his life in order to ultimately find that person with whom he can make the most complete, most intense exchange of love energy . We all want to find someone with whom we can be close on many levels, including spiritually.
But this is the way. This is the path of full-fledged, self-sufficient, mature individuals. “Unfinished work” creates unfinished relationships.
If a woman needs a puzzle in the form of a man in her personality, she is a victim even before entering into a relationship. The same applies to men. The relationships that these people are capable of creating will be extremely painful and with long-lasting consequences for the psyche. But!
To understand what traumas live in a person’s psyche, he must enter into a relationship. Relationships, like nothing better, show what is sick and incomplete in a person. It’s not enough to read, it’s not enough to think about what’s wrong with you and how the opposite sex works, or rather, it won’t give you anything at all... Until a person actually encounters another... with different others.
Everyone seems to understand this already. But when it comes to women's choice, even those men who consider themselves conscious and enlightened, and many women too, experience a stupor: “You can’t!”
A woman cannot choose because:
1. This is sex. Ay-ay-ay, an independent adult woman will have sudden sex! This breaks all moral principles! This is what society will turn into! Read: men can, women cannot.
2. She will start to really choose. And suddenly he sees that the one who is nearby is far from best option and it doesn't suit her at all. Scary! We need to develop and conform. Let him sit in dependence and not irritate him with his glances around!
3. She will stop being fatally attached. It will no longer be possible to ignore her, not to care, not to show attention, and even more so, to humiliate and put pressure on her, because at any moment the woman can jump off. Having felt the freedom of choice, she will stop holding on to suffering with all her might, and will choose love, and above all, for herself.
Patriarchal society can hardly tolerate a free woman. Moreover, time inexorably leads to the fact that the relationship should be a partnership (a rare family feeds only on the income of the spouse), but attitudes in their heads require that the woman be a victim. So that even without children and family by the age of forty, she would sit at the window and wait for her betrothed. And he, tired after love battles, maybe one day he will deign to visit her. She can’t go out into the world, but what the hell... they’ll call it! She won’t save her vagina for her only beloved one, who may not knock on the door even with a pension.
So I say: IT IS POSSIBLE. Free women can do anything. Exactly the same as for free men. Falling in love and being disappointed. Enter into relationships and leave them when it’s not right. Want sex and get it. Live freely and live with taste.
We came into this world to LIVE, not to be afraid. And especially not in order to listen to someone’s dubious beliefs and live according to someone else’s orders.
Also interesting: Nobody Nothing Nothing
A person condemns another for what he cannot realize himself. Always remember this. And live freely. Sami. At the behest of the heart. published
Kat Martin
At the behest of the heart
England, 1752
- I forbid it! Can you hear?
Under his mane of snow-white hair, the Duke of Carlisle's face turned purple.
“You are Sinclair,” the Duke said, looking into his son’s defiant eyes. “You are an earl, you are a peer of the kingdom and heir to the title of Dukes of Carlisle.” I demand that you break up with this dirty slut!
Jason was overcome with a wave of anger. He stubbornly pursed his lips and lifted his chin arrogantly.
- For God's sake, father! Don't forget, you're talking about Countess Brookhurst!
Jason was furious. His father talks to him like he’s some kind of fool!
“She’s eight years older than you, that widow, and she’s slept with half of London.” Believe me: she doesn't want you, but the Carlisle title and our money.
Jason's fingers clenched into fists.
“You shouldn’t talk about Celia like that.” And one more thing. I don't need anyone's advice when I choose lovers and friends.
The Duke slammed his fist on the table in impotent anger, but Jason no longer heard it. He turned sharply and left the office.
The groom was waiting for him in the yard, holding his horse by the bridle and looking down in silent sympathy. Nodding absently to him, Jason jumped into the saddle and looked at his father's office window. A large shadow blocked the light of the oil lamp several times as the father paced the hall.
An uneasy chill ran down Jason's spine. But his father won’t follow him to the hotel, will he? No, it definitely won't. Even such a stubborn man as the Duke of Carlisle is not capable of this.
Jason waited a few more minutes, then sighed in relief and moved the horse. The horse walked at an easy gallop, and Jason relaxed, rocking rhythmically in the saddle. The light of the moon illuminated his path, a light breeze stirred dark brown hair, cooled the skin.
As the distance between him and home increased, his thoughts from his father's bitter words rushed to the warm and flexible woman waiting for him at the inn. Celia Rollins, Lady Brookhurst. Charming head, perfectly defined breasts, narrow waist and slender legs...
Their romance lasted for three months. They often met at the Falcon's Nest, a secluded and comfortable inn halfway between Carlisle Hall, the Duke's estate, and Brookhurst Park, the Countess's country estate. So today she was waiting for him there, and Jason was already anticipating the pleasure ahead of him.
Less than an hour later, an arch entwined with ivy loomed ahead - the entrance to the hotel courtyard. Jason's blood ran faster in his veins. Having entered the yard, he jumped off his horse, patted the bay horse on the steep neck and, throwing the reins to the stable boy, headed towards the hotel.
The residential rooms could be accessed both from the bar located on the ground floor and through a separate entrance. Turning the corner, Jason quickened his steps, but then a creature caught his attention.
- Give it to me, sir! Give it to the blind, and the Lord will bless you!
In front of him sat, hunched over, right on the ground, a man dressed in terrible rags and pulled an old tin begging bowl towards him. Even in the darkness, Jason could see the terrible sores on his face and hands. Throwing a coin into the cup, he ran up the stairs to the second floor. A short knock on the door, and now Celia lets him into the room.
“My lord,” she whispered and, smiling, threw herself on his chest. Slender and sensual, in the weak light of the fireplace flame she seemed especially beautiful to him today. “Jason, honey, I’m so glad you came.”
She pressed herself passionately against him, and Jason's body responded instantly: he felt a wave of desire wash over him. He pulled the pins out of her hair, and a wave of silky long hair, blue-black in the light of the night lamp, scattered over her shoulders.
“Celia... My God, we saw each other last week, and it seems to me that I haven’t seen you for a whole year.”
Having kissed the delicate skin behind her ear, he covered her half-naked shoulders with kisses and impatiently began to unbutton the buttons of her dress, blue, almost the color of her eyes.
Celia hesitated for a second.
“I... I was so afraid... I know how your father feels about all this... I thought you wouldn’t come.”
– My father’s opinion doesn’t matter to me.
And, confirming his words, he passionately kissed her on the lips. At that moment there was a knock on the door. Jason froze.
He wouldn't dare, Jason thought, and his father's angry face flashed into his mind's eye.
What he was so afraid of happened. The Duke of Carlisle stood on the threshold.
“I came here to say a few words to you.” Both of you.
The gaze of two couples blue eyes crossed. Quickly looking around the room, the Duke noticed the Countess's embarrassment.
Jason clenched his teeth. The anger in his soul was mixed with humiliation.
“Say what you came for and leave us.”
He stepped back to let his father into the room and closed the door behind him. Jason mentally cursed his father for the intrusion and thanked God that at least they were still clothed.
The Duke of Carlisle looked at them with an icy gaze and began to speak, but noticed some movement at the window. A shot rang out and the room filled with gunpowder smoke.
Jason screamed in horror: a blood stain was spreading on his father’s silver vest. The old man grabbed his chest with his hand, his legs gave way, and he collapsed to the floor.
Jason recognized his father's killer. It was his half-brother Avery. He climbed up the ladder and fired through the open window. Jason felt his head fill with unbearable pain, the room began to spin before his eyes.
“Father…” he whispered, trying to push away the approaching darkness, and fell unconscious just a few feet from the duke’s lifeless body.
The Countess stepped over the glass fragments that littered the floor, opened the door, and a luxuriously dressed man entered the room.
“Great, honey,” said Avery Sinclair, straightening the voluminous curl of his elegant wig. -You never lose your head.
Ignoring the loud knock on the door, he leaned over and placed the smoking gun in Jason's hand.
The Countess smiled faintly:
- Well, we're lucky! We can't help but take advantage of this.
Avery just nodded his head.
“You are smart enough to understand that the old man would never have allowed you to become the Duchess of Carlisle.”
– I knew it.
- Now your problem is solved. “He looked with satisfaction at the bodies lying on the floor. “I didn’t even think that the old man would get caught so easily.”
- Open the door! – the voice of the hotel owner, hoarse with excitement, came from the corridor.
Strong fists pounded on the door again.
“Let me talk to him,” Avery said.
Celia raised a thin black eyebrow.
- No, I'll do this.
– Remember, a small scandal is payment for your share of the inheritance.
Her sensual lips formed a smile.
“Don’t worry, I’ll remember this... Your Grace.”
England, 1760
Duchess! She's about to become a duchess! Her scheme, born of desperation, had finally worked.
Velvet Moran stood at the high window, watching the Duke of Carlisle's carriage drive away from the house. Here she disappeared at the end of the alley lined with bushes.
The elegant blond man who had just left their home would soon become her husband. Over and over again, Velvet recalled all the details of their meeting and, immersed in her own thoughts, did not hear her grandfather approach her:
- Well, girl, have you achieved what you wanted?
The Earl of Haversham had a good day today: no memory lapses. He remembered everything, where he was and what he said. There weren't many days like this, and Velvet appreciated every one of them.
“You saved Windmere, as you promised.” Saved us both.
Velvet smiled.
- Two more weeks and I will become a married woman. I feel bad for deceiving him, but we can't tell him the truth now.
The old man smiled good-naturedly. On his head, bare as a knee, there were only white remnants of hair here and there, and his skin was so thin that the veins on his arms and face showed blue through it.
“The poor fellow is in for an unpleasant surprise when he finds out that with you he also received large debts in addition.” However, I hope your dowry will calm him down somewhat. Besides, he'll get you. No man could ask for a better wife.
- I will do everything to make him happy, grandfather. He will not regret marrying me, I swear on this on my honor.
The old man peered into his granddaughter’s pretty face. Upturned nose, slightly squinted golden-brown eyes. The spitting image of his long-dead mother. Petite and perfectly proportioned, with high full breasts and a thin waist! Long, slightly curly hair reddish tint.
Grandfather sighed:
“I understand that there is no turning back... But how I would like you to marry for love.” We dreamed about this with your grandmother. What a pity that everything turned out differently. You did it out of a sense of duty, my dear.
Velvet winced. Her grandfather's words suddenly hurt her. Of course, she would like to marry the person she loves... but now this is no longer possible.
Very often in my life I have met people who selflessly told me about their dream - how they want to leave an unloved job and do what they love, go on a long trip, give birth to a child... And then, when after some time we crossed paths again, I found out that nothing had changed in the lives of these people - they continued to work in the same company, postponed their trip until next year, mentally prepared to become parents... no serious changes were observed. I am sure that with all their hearts they wanted to start living differently, but they all did not take the first step in the direction of their desires, they were afraid to take risks and therefore preferred to stand and not move anywhere.
When I flew to Los Angeles at the age of 21, stepped off the plane and breathed in the warm air soaked in the sun, I felt with all my heart that this was where I belonged, that I was at home. And as usual, my heart did not deceive me. Despite the difficulties that came my way, I always listened to what my inner voice told me, and it led me to the life and business of my dreams.
1. Identify your own dreams and aspirations.
Find and accept your own dreams, interests, tastes, aspirations, creativity, creation. Unfortunately, today much is dictated by the opinion of society, fashion, prestige, etc. And in this series of imposed stimuli, determine what you need, what will make you wake up in the morning and lead you forward. If deep down in your heart, for example, you don’t want to work in an office, buy an apartment and pay a mortgage for the next 10 years, but want to travel around the world, start your own business or do volunteering and charity work - go where your heart calls you. Don't look at what others say. The time of your life belongs only to you.
2. Analyze your emotions.
If some situation or some part of your life has been stressing you out for a long time, causing anger, irritation and despair, then it is likely that you are going a little in the wrong direction. Listen to your emotions - they are usually an accurate indicator of whether you are on the right path. Of course, even the right road is not always smooth and serene, but on this road problems are solved, the right people meet and circumstances turn out in your favor. If you have been struggling like a fish against ice for a long period of time and cannot open any door, then most likely this door is closed to you and is unlikely to open. Don’t be afraid to adjust your course and change direction – you have every right to do so.
3. Be confident in yourself and your capabilities.
Each of us contains a huge complex of things that make us stronger every day, braver and increase our ability to achieve even the most unrealistic goals at first glance. Your spirit is waiting for you to believe in your inner strength and stop doubting it. When it seems to you that “that’s it, there’s no way forward” - take a deep breath and exhale slowly, listen to yourself, let go of the situation or, conversely, take it into your own hands, turn to your inner strength and it will support you. If they tell you “This is unrealistic, you won’t succeed,” then all you have to do is make an effort and everything will work out. Believe in what you are doing and persist with it if you feel that this is your path.
4. Get out of your comfort zone.
Everyone experiences leaving their comfort zone in different ways - both “curious”, “interesting”, and “difficult”, “scary”. You need to leave your comfort zone to change the quality of your life, so that it shines with new colors. Most of the reasons for despondency in people are precisely related to the fear of leaving their comfort zone.
The most important advantage when leaving it is the opportunity to find yourself in life. After all, staying in the usual “swamp” and not learning something new, it becomes very difficult to realize your calling.
Sooner or later, a state comes when you want something else, but you are afraid to start fulfilling your desire. Finding yourself is impossible in a remote comfort zone, so you need to start trying yourself in something new until the search is crowned with success.
5. Spend time alone with yourself.
Even when we are alone in a room, this does not mean that we are truly alone with ourselves. If there is a movie on or you are texting with someone, this is movie time or communication time. Try, as often as possible, to be alone with yourself for at least an hour or two once a week (and preferably more often) - walking, relaxing in the park, just looking at nature, writing down your ideas, thoughts, feeling your goals and motivation for new steps in life. Or dedicate this time to taking a bath, reading a book with pleasant music, or just smiling at yourself - who you are and what you do. Great option There will also be a daily meditation practice, and to achieve inner harmony and peace, it is enough to devote 10 minutes a day to meditation.
6. Trust your intuition.
Always listen to your inner voice, truly trust who you are. We are parts of this Universe, and it will always give strength, help and support.
When you don’t know what to do, or if you need advice, ask your intuition, because that’s where the answers to all your questions are already stored. Trust her when you see new signs, roads that open to you, learn lessons and wisdom from situations and circumstances. And in this case, the Universe will become your most reliable assistant on the path to your dreams.
7. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
Remember - every failure carries a certain lesson. If you make a mistake, learn from it, and intelligent analysis of mistakes will allow you to avoid repeating them.
Take smart risks, don't think that you will fail and don't be afraid of it. The lesson learned from a mistake can be more valuable than we might imagine. But don’t stop only at analyzing errors, always look for solutions to fix them and put them into practice. Just because you found the reason for the failure, it doesn't do you any good unless you find a way to fix that error in the future and fix it.
8. Respect the process.
Respect with all your soul the process of your development and every step of the path you take. Instant results are extremely rare - in any case, you need to invest your time and effort into realizing what you dream of. Appreciate this development process, love it, and everything will move better and faster.
Learn to enjoy the “road” itself, simultaneously enjoying the beauties of the world and life, and then you will not live waiting for the final point, but will fill each of your actions with meaning.
9. Live in the moment.
Remember that the most important point is happening in your life right now. Feel the joy and happiness, feel the moment you are in, what colors, tastes, smells, sounds surround you, what is happening around... As soon as you stop thinking about what you don’t have, you will begin to feel the beauty of the present moment. Don't blame yourself for the mistakes of the past and don't worry about the future, because essentially all we have is Here and Now. Remind yourself of this often, act from the present moment, and then your heart will lead you to where you need to go.
By following these tips, you will open up to yourself and begin to listen more closely to your intuition. But there is one more thing that will always guide you on the right path and will not allow you to deviate from it - this is Love. Love for everything: for friends, for people close and dear, for new people, for the moments of every day, for the air, for flowers, for little things, for the planet... By loving and confessing this love, you give your light power, which returns to to you almost instantly and multiplied many times over. Filled with pure love and energy, you will act in accordance with them, and they will guide you on the path of your heart, which will always be true for you.
With love,
Olga Yakovleva
P.S. What helps you live according to the dictates of your heart? What makes you feel like you are in the right place and on the right path? Share in the comments.
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26.04.2018 14:38:00
I, a general practitioner, was called by duty, by the Hippocratic Oath, to Chernobyl in 1986 from Azerbaijan, where I lived and worked. I have been living in the village of Luzhnoe, Dubensky district, for almost 30 years.Having seen enough of the destruction and insidiousness of radiation during a two-month business trip to Chernobyl, in Luzhny I literally fell to my land plot, over the course of 17 long years, he built a large, comfortable house. I began to especially appreciate simple earthly joys. But what I experienced and felt in Chernobyl does not let me go...
IN Soviet years I lived in the city of Mingachevir of the Azerbaijan SSR and worked as a general practitioner at the republican organization Gidrospetsstroy as a ministry, specializing in the construction of tunnels and bridges.
When the accident occurred at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, the head of Gidrospetsstroy, Evgeniy Leonidovich Andrienko, by the way, my friend, immediately sent the organization’s specialists to the site of the disaster. It was necessary to dig a hole more than 30 meters deep around the station, where the greatest radioactive contamination was identified, and fill it with bentonite solution in order to prevent the spread of radioactive substances from the station territory.
The very first two-week business trips of the hydrospecial construction workers showed that without medical support, the liquidators simply could not withstand the penetration of radiation into the body.
Andrienko called me and briefly asked: “Will you go?” My equally brief answer followed: “I’ll go if necessary!” In a short time, I decided which medicines and drugs to take with me to Pripyat. In the Azerbaijani military unit, where I also had friends, I seized individual first-aid kits intended for use in the event of a threat of a nuclear explosion or after it has occurred.
Arrived in the Chernobyl zone. In Boryspil I was given a pass to all places under the number 2829. And when I left two months later, more than half a million numbers were already put on the passes of new arrivals! There was such activity...
What struck me upon arrival? Absolute, inhuman silence. I didn't even see any sparrows. At that time, birds, domestic and wild animals were destroyed and shot so that they would not spread radiation throughout the territories. As time has shown, these measures turned out to be ineffective. Would you prohibit a wild boar from entering an infected area or not leaving it?
The needle in my personal dosimeter went off scale so much that I simply stopped looking at it, hiding it away.
At first we were fed as if for slaughter, and we also washed constantly.
From terrible impressions. Young soldiers were forced to pick up radioactive fragments of graphite rods with their hands and load them into containers according to the “grab - throw - run” algorithm of actions. The tongs appeared later. Helicopters picked up the containers and headed to the burial site.
People knew what such actions threatened them with, but they continued their work anyway. They ran on the roof of the reactor. They placed imported robotic equipment there, and all its electronic circuits immediately burned out. Then they installed ours, the domestic one.
Some “ideologue” needed to plant a flag on a heavily contaminated pipe, which is what the soldier did. But still, order was quickly restored.
I forbade the guys to pick apples, forced them to take iodized tablets that had a nasty taste against the effects of radioactive iodine, and constantly monitored the health of the liquidators. You won't forget this!
In 1989, at a time of ethnic unrest in Azerbaijan, he and his wife found themselves in Luzhny.
Disabled since 1994. He and his wife worked not only at the Luzhensk outpatient clinic, but also in the villages of Selino, Shatovo, and Khrabrishchevo attached to it. They often woke me up in the middle of the night: “Vladimir Nikolaevich, help!”, since I was the only general practitioner in this entire district.
I consider the awards dear to me - signs “In memory of the disaster at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. 25 years old,” “Participant in the liquidation of the consequences of the Chernobyl accident.”
I often dream about Pripyat and remember the people with whom I spent two months side by side. Vladimir GONCHAROV, participant in the liquidation of the Chernobyl accident, general practitioner
“That which will never happen again is what makes life so wonderful.”
(Emily Dickinson)
The next morning, as Mo and I had breakfast on the sand, consisting of papaya and oranges, I was burning with curiosity. And asked him to tell me something more about his “life from the heart.”
When I began to act according to the dictates of my heart, my life was transformed,” he began. - Following the dictates of the heart is very important, because the mind of the heart is the highest mind. By gaining access to the mind of the heart, we join the wisdom of the world and open the way to the heart of the universe. I don't want this to sound too pompous, but this is exactly the truth that I discovered. I completely trust the wisdom that my heart communicates to me.
So, does that mean I have to live in my heart?
No, there must be a balance, a kind of partnership. The secret to living a superior life, as I understand it, is to get your heart and mind to work in harmony. There are people who live only with their hearts - they are completely in emotions and feelings. Such people often have difficulty functioning in the real world and are often seen as blissful eccentrics who lack the ability to clearly evaluate people and situations and to think practically. Others live only by reason. They are logic and rationality itself, they are devoid of intuition and passion to guide them.
Like Mr. Spock in the old TV series Star Voyage.
Yes, Jack, a good example. And, like Spock, such individuals are stone cold. I believe that to live is to achieve balance, to ensure that the mind and heart are members of the same team, partners for life. May your life be reasonable and kind, practical and unpredictable, courageous and loving, responsible and passionate.
Achieving this balance takes persistence and time - I'm still working on it. But if you have patience and perseverance, all this will come.
How can I open my heart, Mo? “I really want to feel more and find joy in life, to live more festively and happily,” I said. “I feel that my life will open when my heart opens, just as you say.” But asking me to open my heart is like asking me to chat with you in Hawaiian. I don't know where to start.
“I understand you perfectly,” Mo answered, and in his voice I heard sincere empathy. “That’s why I’ll become your mentor, if you don’t mind.” We learn what we need most, and the most important lesson in my life is to make the gifts of my heart available to myself. This reminds me of an old story, would you like to hear it?
Well, of course!
Many thousands of years ago in the East there was a belief that every person on earth is God. But people began to abuse their power and the Supreme God decided that he would take away the divine power from people when the question arose of where to hide the divine spirit - the source of human talents and power and glory.
One of the Supreme God’s assistants suggested: what if we dig a deep hole in the ground and hide the divine spirit?” “No,” replied the Supreme God, “someday someone will dig deep enough and find him.” Then another assistant spoke. “I have an idea,” he said. “What if we placed the source of human power at the very top of the highest mountain?” And again the Supreme God did not agree: “No, someday someone will conquer this peak and find him.” Finally, the third assistant entered the conversation: “Perhaps we should place the divine spirit at the bottom of the deepest ocean?” The Supreme God answered: “No, someone will be able to reach the deepest place of the ocean and find him there.”
Then he fell silent, thinking. After a while he spoke: “I found a way out! I will place this source of extraordinary power, greatness and glory inside the heart of every person on earth, because people will never guess to look for it there.”
“Wonderful story,” I said.
You see, Jack, your heart contains more wisdom and talents than you imagine. You may believe that all the answers are in your head - and you should start thinking more.
you will have more. You may imagine that if you accumulate more information and learn more, you will win the competition of life. You may think that just by seeing your mistakes, you will know how to fix things. But I don't think life works like that.
Do I need to be closer to my heart? - I tried to guess.
How can I do this?
You're already on this path. The very fact that you had the courage to come here and find me tells me that something inside you is already ready to heal your broken heart.
I knew what Moe meant when he talked about my broken heart. It seems to me that everyone in this world has a broken heart at one time or another in their life. And this is not necessarily the case when we lose a loved one. First of all, I mean that broken heart when we begin to understand that our dreams have faded, and our deepest desires are never fulfilled, when we sell ourselves for next to nothing and are left to the lot of mediocrity; when we see the state of our world, how base values triumph. I was thinking about what Benjamin Disraeli once said: “Life is too short to live poorly.”
This shore is a good analogy for your life, Jack,” Mo continued. - Life is in many ways like the seashore. This is a road that has sandy and rocky places, sharp turns and straight sections. Sometimes when you wake up in the morning, you see the stormy waves and feel the fury of the ocean; sometimes there is blessed peace and complete tranquility all around. Having lived a significant part of my life on this coast, I have come to understand that the laws of life are, in fact, nothing more than the laws of nature. Study how nature works, and you will understand how our lives work at the deepest level.
Father Mike taught me the same thing.
“I’ll give you an example,” Mo said. “I have spent many days alone on this coastline, sometimes I stay up all night - just breathing, thinking and enjoying the grandeur of this place. I never cease to be amazed at how the bright light of sunrise replaces the darkness of night.
It's the same in our lives. Each of us must experience darkness, but it always goes away and the light always returns. In fact, in those moments when your problems seem especially complex and confusing, you are closest to solving them. And when you experience the greatest pain, your greatest peace is already approaching to replace it.
Never before have I looked at life from such a point of view. There was a grace to Moe's philosophy that was reminiscent of the wisdom Father Mike so lovingly imparted to me. According to the beliefs of my teachers, the life of every person unfolds according to an exact plan - nothing happens for nothing, life itself is nothing more than magical gift.
Let me give you some advice now, Jack. In order to rekindle your dormant passions, you must first reconnect with your heart. Try to do what filled your big heart in the past. Start doing things that bring out the emotional child in you, that make you laugh uncontrollably. Rediscover what touches you, what brings tears to your eyes: the moment when your eyes fill with tears is the moment in which the universe wants to see you.
How is it that it took me so long to feel the love of life itself? “I’ll tell you honestly, Mo, I’m very bitter that it took so many years,” I said, looking down and feeling a feeling of bitterness and regret filling me.
Stop beating yourself up like that, Jack. I told you before: you are now exactly where you are meant to be. There is no need to question your path, enjoy where you are now. Everything that happened to you along the way was predetermined. The main thing is to take everything for granted. Now is a very special period in your life - fully experience it. Your real life is now returning to you - the one that was predetermined for you before outside forces interfered with it.
Suddenly Mo’s face broke into a wide smile:
It's time for you to enjoy life again. When I was little, my parents often told me that my eyes sparkled. They told me that there was some kind of spark in them. Now I understand what was in my eyes: the eyes of a playing child are shining.
You know, I was also a very energetic child.
I want that sparkle to return to your eyes again. And when this happens, your heart will open even wider and begin to whisper words of truth to you.
I wish this would happen, Mo.
And so it will be. I would advise you to do what makes you happy first.
Do more often what made your heart sing in the past. As we get older, we stop seeing those things that used to make our heart beat faster.
“I can’t even remember what passions I had,” I admitted sadly.
It's OK. They will find you on their own, as soon as you start looking for them,” Mo assured me. -
Start asking yourself questions, because in the very process of creatively testing yourself, many of the answers you are looking for will begin to appear. Ask yourself, for example, questions such as “What do I need to do to make me proud of myself?” or “If I had to work, how would I spend my days?” I would also recommend that you listen a lot more.
To the inner voices, Jack. Paying more attention to those quiet and subtle signs of your innermost depths. They are there, they have a voice, and they are calling out to you to be heard. You knew them when you were a child - recognize them now, as an adult.
I was so cut off from such things that I am afraid I have lost all connection with my depths. I know that I remain closed and that I live in my head. But I really want to hear those inner voices you talk about.
“Great,” Mo replied. - Your desire and intention to hear the inner voices of your heart is already a huge step forward towards opening your heart and taking advantage of the countless gifts that it has prepared for you. Desires and intentions are those huge waves that sweep through the universe one after another; they inevitably return, bringing with them real treasures.
You just need to keep listening and observing. Remember, Jack, that the heart speaks to us in the silent moments of our lives. Find time to reflect, to be alone with your heart. And believe that the time will come when the changes that you so hope for will come into your life.
The universe is friendly to us,” I added, repeating a saying that has become a kind of mantra for me after all my wanderings across the oceans of my life.
You understand everything well, brother. If you believe that everything will work out as it should, no matter what happens, then the new reality will begin to approach you. As the Sufi poet Rumi said many years ago: “Keep knocking and the joy within you will finally open the window to see who is there.” The words you begin to hear will guide you - these are the voices of your heart that will show you the way to your destiny. Have the courage to open up to the unknown, and you will steadily move forward along your path.
Open up to the unknown? This hint is too subtle for me, Mo.
You see, I've learned that the only thing you can count on in life is the unexpected. The magic of our life is revealed when we recklessly jump into the waves of its mystery. I really love the words of Thomas Huxley: “Sit down before the fact, how small child, and put aside all prejudice. Humbly follow where pristine nature leads you, otherwise you will learn nothing.”
With these words, Mo sat down on the sand and motioned for me to do the same. He began to build a sand castle, with towers and a bridge, which he made from a shell. He worked for some time without saying a word. Then he resumed the conversation.
Our heart wants us to be free - he said, finishing his masterpiece. “One of his greatest wishes is for us to become explorers who journey through life filled with a sense of wonder and awe.” But this will not happen if we remain closed to the opportunities that life provides us. We need to let go of previously formed ideas about what our lives should look like and what we really need to be happy. I am trying to “humbly follow where pristine nature leads me.” Who am I to be God in my life?
What a profound point, Mo. It's obvious you've thought a lot about all this.
I felt a lot, “it would be more accurate,” came the answer. - But Albert Einstein made an even deeper remark on this matter: “The most beautiful thing that we are given to experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of arts and sciences. Anyone who is not familiar with this feeling, who can no longer stop in surprise and freeze in awe, is almost dead; his eyes are closed."
This means that our lives are fullest when we live with a sense of wonder and awe. As far as I understand, there are no special restrictions here,” I noted. - You just need to open up to the secret. I think that I should succeed - When you act this way, from time to time you will have some fears - and this is natural. Feel these Fears, but continue to do it your way. Stay with your fears. Eventually they will pass. Here's the big secret: For your life to be great, your trust must be greater than your fears. Only when you fully believe that the Universe is friendly to us and its friendliness is greater than the fears that hold you back, will you hear the call of your true, vibrant life.
The belief that the world has our best interests at heart, although it often sends its miracles in the form of difficulties, must be stronger than the fear that these difficulties will ruin your life. Your trust in the universal mind must be stronger than your fear of loneliness. There is a much larger project happening around you, and you must trust it. When you do this, the magic of your life will be allowed to rise to the surface.
Mo stretched sweetly.
By the way, about your opportunity to regain lost passions and enthusiasm. When we grow up in an environment where there is a lack of personal independence, in other words - when we are constantly told what to do, we begin to lose touch with the true desires of our hearts. We lose touch with our preferences, with what makes our soul sing. We lose the sense of what we love and then turn into adults who don't even know what their true desires are. As a result of this, we no longer know how to make our heart beat faster, how to enjoy the beauty of a real, fulfilling life.
This is how our true passions remain buried within us.
Buried?
Yes. I don't know if you know the story of a very respected artist, James McNeil Whistler, who in his youth studied at West Point Military Academy. In an engineering class, the teacher asked the students to draw a bridge. Whistler painted a beautiful stone arched bridge on which two happy boys sat with fishing rods.
The teacher, seeing the children depicted, became angry and ordered them to be removed from the bridge. Whistler redid the drawing, this time placing the children on the river bank. The teacher became even more angry and began to shout at Whistler to completely remove the children from the drawing. Whistler did just that, but in the final version of his work, instead of children’s figures, he depicted something that made the teacher flinch.
What did he draw?
He painted two gravestones on the river bank with the names of these children on them.
I understood the meaning of the allegory. When we lose touch with our heart, we essentially lose touch with our inner child, who is full of feelings and emotions.
Yes, Jack. And then it will take a lot of effort to rekindle the spark of childhood emotions and spontaneity of perception. It will take a lot of work to rediscover who we really are.
And what kind of work is this?
All the same internal work. Start remembering every day what makes you happy. For example, remember what energizes you and brings a smile to your face? Write it all down, because putting it down on paper helps with deeper understanding. These are the deepest desires of your heart that must be fulfilled if you want to live an extraordinary life. Joseph Campbell said on this occasion: “If you follow your happiness, you take the path that was waiting for you and was always before you, and the life that was destined for you becomes your real life. When you understand this, you will begin to meet people along the way who fall into your field of bliss, and they open doors for you. I tell you: follow your happiness and don’t be afraid of anything, and doors will open to you that you didn’t even know about.”
“An unusually profound statement,” I noted.
As much as I can. When you listen to the dictates of your heart and your true self, a whole universe of possibilities opens up to you. You will enter doors that lead to a completely new reality. Along the way, amazing coincidences will begin to happen - for example, at the right moment you will find good job. You will carry on yourself something like a magic seal that attracts good and the right people, as well as favorable chances in your life. But such manifestations are just confirmations sent to you by the world that you have taken your true path.
As Mo spoke, a huge wave crashed onto a pile of rocks, dousing us with the freshness of the ocean. This annoyed me more than cheered me up; Mo laughed.
Wow, great! Come on, one more time! - he shouted to the ocean, not thinking about being embarrassed. Then he continued his lesson.
It’s also extremely important to stop fighting,” he noted.
What do you mean? - I asked.
Stop fighting and start being. Struggle creates stress, and stress is the most serious obstacle to living in peace, quiet and harmony - this is precisely the state that is necessary for your best life to come to you. All I saw around me, staying in the business world, was how people fight, resist, make their way. They all did a lot, but they weren't enough. But the laws of nature do not work that way. For a flower to grow, there is no need for confrontation or tension, it just happens. This is a natural and wonderful development of events. If you try to make a flower grow faster, you will save it. Meanwhile, this is exactly what we do with our strive to possess what you desire in this world.
This is one of the paradoxes of our universe: what you strive for runs away from you. The less you worry about how you live, the sooner life will turn around for you. the best sides.
Okay, Mo. This is clear to me. Apparently I need to stop living the hectic life I was leading. I need to step back from all this struggle and realize that I am exactly in the place that was destined for me. I understand that you are saying that it is time for me to stop controlling my life and just accept it, trusting that it is part of the grand plan destined for me.
Yes. Your life, my life, the life of any of us is beautiful. We just don't have enough time to understand. That's why it's so important to pause a little. Where are we running all the time? Why are we always in a hurry?
I never really thought about it. But you're absolutely right. Just a few weeks ago, my life was a complete race. The funny thing is, I didn't even know where the finish line was.
I ran just for the sake of running. Maybe he was just trying to look busy in order to seem important and significant?
Probably, in a sense, yes,” Mo nodded in agreement.
I also think I did all this to feel whole, to fill that inner emptiness that you talked about.
Maybe. But the main thing is this, Jack. Enjoy the process itself, how majestically your life unfolds. Be more present in your life - express yourself more clearly, feel every moment of it more deeply. This is the most important thing. The road itself is better than its end. Mo was right. Life is nothing more than the totality of its moments. If I miss them, I will miss life itself. It was time for me to change in the most decisive way.
If the question now is that I should start working on myself, shouldn't I then work hard and quickly to change as quickly as possible?
Good question. I’ll ask you again: “What’s the rush?” Life is a process, Jack. And it is full of paradoxes. Here's another one: By moving too fast, you actually slow down your path forward.
Father Mike taught me the same thing.
And he was absolutely right. If you try to push the process of your personal transformation, you will fall back. You should give your knowledge free space. Find out, do and then be - this is the path of the master.
Learn, do and then be?
Yes. Mastering any skill, especially the ability to live based on love for the journey of life itself and on being in the present moment, involves three stages on the path to mastery. First, you learn about what you need to know - this can be done, for example, by reading books on the topics you want to master. Then you should let your knowledge assimilate and integrate into your daily life. This is achieved through experiencing experiences learned in the laboratory of your life. This is the “doing” stage of our formula. After this, quite a significant amount of time may pass before you reach the “to be” stage. This is where the true masters are. They don't try to live, they just live. And they are not trying to be fully present in every moment, they are already present.
Interesting ideas you have, Mo.
And extremely simple. I'll tell you another way to express what I just told you.
There are four stages to go through on the path from beginner to true master of life. The first is unconscious incompetence. Unfortunately, it is at this stage that most people end their lives. At this preliminary stage we do not know what we do not know. Essentially, we live unconsciously - we are asleep and do not know who we really are and what our life could be. But as soon as we open our eyes and wake up, taking some responsibility for our lives and creating our own destiny, we move higher into the next stage, which is the stage of conscious incompetence. Here knowledge begins to come to us about what we do not yet know.
In other words, are we becoming aware of our incompetence in how we live our lives?
Exactly. By consciously working through this stage, performing internal work, necessary in order to open ourselves to the world, we move to the next stage - the stage of conscious competence. At this stage, wonderful results begin to appear in our lives. We are already consciously creating our new existence. The only problem is that we're still trying. The struggle is still ongoing.
And this creates stress,” I interjected.
Right. We are consciously competent in how to structure our lives. This is already very good, but this is not yet the perfection that we deserve in our lives. Our goal is to move to the last and highest stage - unconscious competence. This stage in life is the stage of true mastery. At this stage, you no longer need to study or do anything - just being is enough.
“I understand,” I said. - I liked the way you explained all this to me. So, moving along the road of life is exactly what we should strive for in any case?
For me it is. However, it is important for you to understand one thing now - you need to calm down. Relax, buddy. “The right speed is when you get to your destination,” said the sage and writer Richard Bach. It’s time for you in your life to return to your “destination” again.
Then Mo retired to his “palace” and came out from there with fresh fruit and a tuna dish prepared for lunch. We spent about an hour eating, without saying a word and enjoying the beauty of this wonderful piece of the planet and the gentle rays of the sun caressing our faces.
Yes, living in your head and away from your heart is a very disturbing choice, buddy,” Mo finally said, continuing to look into the ocean.
There is no taste in such a life. Life path you can go much better. May be, in the best possible way You could put it this way: Instead of controlling your life, just be curious about it.
What exactly does this mean?
Instead of trying to understand and make sense of everything, just stay curious. You don't have to know where you'll be in a year - or even what you'll be doing in a month. Give up the need to know everything for sure, this eternal desire that haunts us all, give in to your curiosity, which we all need so much. Just be. Live each specific moment to the fullest extent of your life energy, enjoy the gift of the present. The treasures of your life will only appear to you when you truly open yourself to them.
But you don’t want to say that nothing needs to be done at all. How can you create a new extraordinary life if you don’t do or try anything at all? You don't mean that it would be wrong to set goals, make plans and work hard?
Well noted. But balance and moderation are important in everything, right? Everything you just said comes from our mind, and that’s good. Now is the time for you to turn to your heart. Stop managing your life. Stop controlling her. You are not given to know what is best for you. Is it true.
I think that my mind cannot possibly be stronger than the mind that controls the Universe,” I admitted.
Excellent guess, Jack. So by opening yourself, a world much larger than the one you know awaits you. Live and be curious. Live and be reverent. Live and be surprised.
I really liked all this.
Try to be more aware and aware,” Mo continued, “look for connections and clues, watch how things happen, connect the dots.” Note for yourself all the coincidences, coincidences of circumstances and know that all these wonderful coincidences are nothing more than pointers to your better life which is approaching you.
The ability to be aware can be trained simply by paying more attention to what is happening around you. Try to notice more the dance of life around you. For example, on the way to work, instead of closing in on your own thoughts and dialogue with yourself, train your brain to notice what is happening outside of you, in the world around you. Learn to notice the color of the sky and the shape of the clouds. Watch a leaf fall from a tree, feel the sun's ray warm your face. Feel the soles of your feet touch the ground. I would even advise you to pay attention to how your heart beats. By training yourself to be more aware, you will gradually begin to get out of your head and closer to your heart. You will feel like you are living more and more every day.
This is true. More joy will come to you. An even more powerful way to get closer to your heart and body is to simply... get out of your head and into your body.
One of the most effective ways getting out of our head and away from all those endless internal conversations that keep us from living in the present moment is to spend more time in our body.
How is this?
Pay more attention to the sensations your body experiences. On days when your mind has to work at a feverish pace, ask yourself questions: “How am I feeling?”, “What sensations is my body experiencing right now?” “Is there a tightness in your chest, is there a tingling in your leg, is there pain in your heart?” This simple but effective technique will quickly pull you out of the mind zone and bring you closer to your heart. And when you begin to live more with your heart, you will enjoy the journey along the road of life more.
Yes, actually. You won't need to plan anything anymore, Jack. These are all your fears.
Life is majestic and mystery novel, which records the story of your life. What's the point in knowing in advance, even before you reach the last chapter, how the action will develop and how it will all end? Imagine that someone told you how the new movie you were about to watch would end.
This would not bring me joy - after that there is almost no pleasure.
Right. As you say, the Universe treats us kindly, and whatever happens, everything happens for the better. Your destiny will develop as it is destined. In the meantime, enjoy the present. Live it to the fullest.
Live it for real. Live it joyfully. Live it from the depths of your heart. And life will take care of itself. But that's enough lessons for today. Let's go ride the wave!
With that, Mo Jackson, the millionaire advertising genius turned hippie surfer, jumped to his feet, picked up his board, and headed out to the ocean.
