No matter how different and unique we are, our personal relationships often develop according to similar scenarios.

We present an article about the 6 most common types of relationships. Find yours.

1. Mutual development
When two people are seriously involved in a relationship, they begin to help each other grow. Grow both spiritually and emotionally. Emotional growth is an important part of our personal development, and this type of relationship helps us achieve our goal of achieving emotional maturity. Such partners make themselves strong and motivate their significant other. If this is your example of a relationship, then you are a very happy person. The main thing is to try to keep them as long as possible.

2. Love in silence
“Understand at a glance” is a description of this relationship. Partners understand each other so well that they can spend time in complete silence, simply enjoying being together. Achieving such a relationship is a difficult task and requires a lot of time and effort. Imagine that you are sitting with your significant other at dinner, just sitting, not talking. Will you feel awkward? If not, then congratulations: you are in one of the most emotionally stable relationships.

3. Calculation These relationships can not be called either bad or good. People need them only to achieve a certain goal. For example, career or political. Both, or at worst one, in a couple know that they really don't plan to stay in the relationship after they achieve a certain goal. Such a relationship ends as soon as everyone (or one) gets what they want.

4. Experiment
This is a type of very selfish relationship when one person wants to change the other “for themselves.” For example, my ex wanted to change me into a person that I myself did not want to be at all. She met with me to see if she could achieve this. You could say that she wanted to “blind” her own man. In almost 98% of cases, such relationships fall apart.

5. “Toffee”
This is one of the worst types of relationships. They should have ended a long time ago, but the partners continue this torture. This usually happens when people break up badly and then start a relationship again after some time. The pain and resentment after the first breakup is too great for everything to be the same, but these two are still trying to give a second wind to their love. They know that they are no longer suitable for each other, they fight more than they love, they are terribly unhappy, but they still continue to hold on to the relationship. It all ends eventually, but it will lead to a long and futile period of trying to mend the relationship. If you're stuck in this situation, the best option is to make a drastic cut.

6. Eternal competition
Such a relationship will not lead to anything good. When two people fall in love, they make every effort to help each other grow in every way. In a competitive relationship, both partners compete with each other, often going to extremes. For example, my friend was married, and his relationship was exactly like this. He and his wife competed so much in work and household chores that they began to perceive each other not even as rivals, but as enemies. If you are in the same competition, do yourself a favor - save your nerves, free yourself.

Today we will talk about women with whom it is better not to mess. You know, as in the proverb: “It is better to lose with a smart man than to find with a fool.”

So, With such women you will lose a lot: strength, emotions and money. But you won't find anything.

Here's your stop list.

Why not give it?

There are periods in a woman’s life when she does not need a constant, warm relationship. Then you can “roll over” exclusively through sex. And then, for safety reasons, the woman chooses a permanent lover in the “just sex” format.

But we are not talking about this temporary state.We are talking about those who “don’t care with whom.”

For them, entry into a relationship occurs through sex.

“I’ll try and decide”

It feels like the girls are “give it to everyone” With sex they answer the question: “Do I want this guy? I’ll try and decide.”

Various rude words are spoken about them, the meaning of which is summarized by the incorrect term “giver”.

Surrounded by such women, there are few men with whom they would not sleep.

Remember, the representativescategory "ladies"relationships are short-lived. But even in them they manage to do it regularly.

Why get “love” and attention through sex?

It’s even awkward to write about girls who give to everyone. I feel so sorry for them.

Why? Becausethese women are unhappy inside.

Each was traumatized in childhood. And now he gets “love” and attention in such a humiliating way.

Closed heart - promiscuity

Some were strongly emotionally blocked by internal defenses against pain. So that the ability to experience feelings has atrophied.

Female “ladies” are capable only of physiological sensations and short-term emotions.

Men who are promiscuous in their choice of sexual partners have the same algorithm.

People mistake these feelings for “love.” They are afraid to fall in love seriously, to let another person in deeply.

The memory of the traumatic experience closed my heart. And the body requires emotions and sensations, which people receive through sex. I received it, tried it, moved on.

How can a woman cleanse herself of her “past glory”?

In our society, a man who changes women like gloves is perceived as a macho man, a Casanova. But the attitude towards a woman with a similar way of life is extremely disgusting.

Sometimes the only way to cleanse yourself of “past glory” ismove to another city. But, To avoid getting into the same situation there, it is better to undergo psychotherapy.

It is important to understand why a girl gives herself away through sex and replaces tenderness and love with exclusively sexual relations. What spiritual holes does primitive “love” close?

What is your woman like in bed - everyone will know

It is very important to understand that a woman who sleeps with everyone will not be needed in the long run. No matter how beautiful and seductress she may seem at first glance.

A man, of course, will not refuse sex on the first date, but he will not continue the relationship.

Men are squeamish. And a woman who gives to everyone is perceived as a second-class creature. Men are owners and value loyalty. And they don’t want to read in the eyes of other men: “Oh, I know what this baby is.”

“I won’t give it to you”: Dynamo players take to the field

It's always interesting to get inside a woman's head. Find out what motivates her when she leads a man through labyrinths of passion, attracts him with images in SMS, targeted shooting with her eyes or even candid photos and... Nothing.

Men love football, mostly. Some people are fans of the Dynamo team. But there is no one who would like to cross paths with female dynamo !

Why won't there be sex?

Look, you give flowers to a girl, take her to movie restaurants. You can already see her in your bed. And even, perhaps, in life - in the coming months, that’s for sure. And then it’s a bummer. There will be no sex! Maybe it will happen later.

But this word “bummer” hits your lower level and self-esteem so painfully that you don’t want to see her anymore.

And most importantly, you realize that you did everything for this romantic ending: you didn’t screw things up, didn’t put pressure on you, and didn’t view the girl only as sex.

He followed the seductress like a boa constrictor at the call of a flute, but at one moment something went wrong. And she turned from a passionate Scheherazade into the Snow Queen.

“Okay,” you thought. - Let's start from the beginning - maybe I misunderstood the signs. Or the girl is not ready yet. Or she’s “not like that” and I’ll fight for her.” And this causes even more excitement.

But the “push-pull” happens a second or third time? And you understand that the Dynamo football team burst into life. And you lost to her.

Foreplay or sexual overexertion?

The worst thing is that there are no signs to identify the “dynamo” girl at the start. So you won’t be able to protect yourself from unnecessary emotional investments.

In adult life, sex is part of relationships.

And if a woman plays hard to get, then after a reasonable period of time this no longer causes respect for “not being exchanged,” but irritation. Physiological.

Each couple has their own periods of foreplay, butExcessive sexual tension is not the norm!

Celibacy probation - who needs it?

You know, I remembered the famousSteve Harvey's book Think Like a Man, Act Like a Woman.I respect the author and his advice. The book reveals the secrets of how men think and how to properly manage us in order to build strong relationships at the courtship stage.

The only thing that, as a man, I categorically disagree with is the probationary period of “celibacy” of three months. Don't do that!

Be careful, risk of burnout

You're not teenagers, are you? Then why should sexually mature adults, who are so physiologically attracted to each other, “endure” for three months?! You know,You can burn out.

Although, perhaps, they assessed that they were not interested in each other intellectually and did not coincide psychologically? Then you have no need to sleep.

Or vice versa - partners don’t need anything from each other except sex. And both realize this. In this case, the probationary periods are all the more absurd.

The only factor in the “just sex” format should be mutual attraction to each other. And also the acceptance that you can’t count on more. Dot. What checks? What dynamos?

Why does a woman lead a man?"by the nose"?

Remember, women who lead a man by the nose are divided into three main types.

• She doesn't know what she wants.

Smacks of infantilism or mental disorder. A healthy mature man will feel such a woman and “write her off” from his accounts.

• The woman manipulates by keeping the man hooked with potential sex as bait.

Such a “dynamo” pursues the goal of gaining profit. One lures more expensive gifts. The other is trying to tie her closer to herself.

• And the third, in this primitive way, proves its necessity.

Such a woman, on a subconscious level, considers her only advantage to be sexuality. And without “giving”, he keeps the man on a “short leash”.

These variations are a flawed position that are sure to fail.

What can you get for a dynamo?

Seeing that he is being manipulated, he will simply end the relationship. An abnormal person can take revenge for unjustified hopes.

And since on a psychological level we attract “equal” partners, normal men do not fall for the “dynamo”.

And then, at best, such a woman earns a reputation as a “dynamo.” At worst, he may even receive physical punishment from an embittered, dissatisfied man.

“I will give, but not to you”: waiting for a signal

The girl has become your meaning in life. You wait for an SMS from her, you drive past her habitats in the hope of “accidentally” meeting you.

I am sure that your chosen one is also not indifferent to you, but she shows strange indecisiveness.

You obediently wait for her to finally give the signal. But there is no signal.

Do you want to fill the airwaves with yourself?

A nymph can even be gentle and hug warmly when meeting and saying goodbye. Thereby sparking hope. Like, you are “in the process” and will soon wake up in the same bed.

The girl invites her to take her for a walk on the weekend. Or feed it at lunch. No, this is not a money scam. Sorry, this is from“there is no one more worthy to score airwaves.”

And then the object of desire suddenly disappears. With or without explanations.

Dangerous Walking in Circles, or Convenient Friend

Finally, with difficulty, you freeze the craving for the mystery girl inside, persuading that this is “not yours.” When suddenly you receive a cheerful SMS: “Hello, where have you been?”

And so a girl can lead your heart in circles even for years. Such a convenient friend.

Moreover, the “friend” sincerely speaks about your merits, comparing you with the “goats” with whom you sleep. You are such an Angel in the flesh.

And the girl with the instinct is “victim”

Why not be with such an ideal person in a normal relationship? Why keep you on a short leash in a permanent friend zone instead?

And because She simply hasn’t grown up to be so normal, good, kind and decent, morally or psychologically.

In the soul and subconscious of a girl of this type there are flawed patterns that push these “goats” into the hands.The "victim" instinct.By the way, just like you, since you continue to tolerate this kind of push-pull attitude towards yourself.

How about the role of a self-esteem trainer?

Face the sad truth: you're a girl's man“I will, but not to you” just a living simulator for flirting skills. An expander on which she pumps up her seduction skills and feeds her self-esteem.

When such a woman is in a relationship and realizes her emotional and sexual potential, she doesn’t really need you. Left alone, she needs an artificial increase in self-esteem.

And then he remembers his eternal fan. Do you need it?

How not to be deceived by fantasies?

And one more important point.

Maybe you're wishful thinking? And the girl is friends with you. She is by nature affectionate, emotional, open, but with EVERYONE! Did you just take everything personally?

Well, friend, then this is purely your fantasy.

• Or Confess your feelings to your girlfriend.Maybe she herself is glad to move from the friend zone to “meeters”, but she has no idea about your “unfriendly” feelings.
• Or take your friendship for granted.With the following consequences:They don’t sleep with friends.
• Or, if it hurts you to see her and not have her as a woman,explain yourself and stop this gut-wrenching for yourself.

Remember, life is too short to waste it on not their own x people. Look for your woman! Who will love and give herself entirely - soul and body. Only you should be worthy of such a woman.

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of men in our lives - sun-winged creatures who can soar at unattainable heights, filling our lives with energy, actions that can lift a woman to the skies and make her a queen, or mercilessly throw her off the pedestal at some point... giving confidence and peace , a feeling of warmth and security, how easy and safe it can be in your presence, you complete us and give our life a look of perfection and completeness. Your speed is mesmerizing, your solar energy fills our body and warms our soul, your ability to immediately move from words to action is amazing, in your presence the world takes on brighter colors, only you can make it so happy and so painful at the same time.

You give different feelings and emotions, from the most beautiful to the most destructive. Without you, life would be gray and very ordinary, you are able to make a real holiday, give that feeling of flight and inspiration that grows wings and opens the heart and soul, next to you I want to create, be beautiful, create comfort, give birth to children and projects (after all projects are, to some extent, also our children).

In the modern world, men are often scolded for inactivity, lack of initiative, and excessive effeminacy. I believe that what kind of men come into a woman’s life depends primarily on herself and on her readiness for a certain interaction. Men who come into women's lives are of three types.

The first type: these are male Teachers, those who came to teach us something, to teach us a lesson, so that we, often through the collapse of illusions and unbearable pain, learn something and, as a result, ourselves develop some qualities that are important to us and have become better. Through disappointments and resentments, we grow thanks to such men and relationships. In these relationships, there may be burning passion, the amplitude of emotions is off the charts, the woman is at the peak of emotions, from all-encompassing happiness to unbridled anger or jealousy. In relationships with Teachers, we often cry. These are the relationships in which we fly like a bird into the sky and fall, breaking into pieces on the ground. This is a fire that burns all living things in its path. Sometimes “study” relationships, on the contrary, are characterized by a feeling of emptiness, boredom and complete misunderstanding (often such couples would be happy to separate, but living together, children, acquired property or some other circumstances that “keep” people together). Unfortunately, many people live their lives in such relationships, torturing each other, closing their feelings or starting relationships on the side, without ever knowing the true depth and intimacy that cannot exist at this level. Or, unable to withstand the intensity of passions, the couple runs away. Pain, unbridled passion or complete indifference are the hallmarks of such relationships. In rare cases, after going through difficulties and growing up, a couple moves to the next level. If we parted ways with a man without having learned the lesson, it will be repeated with the next male Teacher, but in a harsher form. Until we understand what we needed to learn. The lesson may be in starting to love and appreciate yourself, or in the ability to designate and defend your boundaries, in respect for masculinity, in accepting another person - there can be a lot of options, you need to understand each specific case.

If a woman has learned certain lessons from a relationship, has grown, acquired wisdom and knowledge, a man, a Fellow Traveler, comes into her life. (or the Teacher becomes a Travel Companion, the relationship moves to another level). Very rarely, a woman has certain knowledge from birth; it is already built into her system, absorbed with the milk of a wise mother, then she immediately meets a Fellow Traveler, bypassing Teachers. This is a much more mature relationship, characterized by warmth and mutual understanding. Pain may be present at some episodic moments, but it is not dominant as in the first case. There is no indifference here. There is a lot of quiet joy, satisfaction, dominant feelings of confidence and peace. Relationships resemble a peacefully burning candle, giving a small, but very stable and warming light; emotional swings, unlike the first type, are absent. There may be several fellow travelers on our way. This is a relationship in which we do something together with passion, joy and inspiration. This is an interesting, constructive and developing relationship. Walking a certain path together. Children in such unions are usually self-sufficient and happy. Also peacefully, having walked a certain path together, fellow travelers can disperse and go different ways. You can live in such relationships for many years, appreciating and warming each other. Or go further, into the third type of relationship.

The third, extremely rare type of relationship in modern society is a man who is a soul partner, a like-minded person. In these relationships, worlds are created, the energy of such a couple affects the entire environment. This is the case when 1+1=11, two people strengthen each other many times over, this is a connection at the level of souls, closeness of body, soul and spirit (not to be confused with codependency - here two absolutely self-sufficient people interact). Each of them no longer needs a partner for integrity; they each feel good on their own, but together they are better off. Such a couple is created when two very conscious and integral people meet; they are creators and masters of their lives in their essence. There is no mistrust, no sense of possessiveness, everyone in a couple is a separate person, the connection is already so deep that all social games, such as jealousy, no longer have any meaning. The main thing in such a couple is joint creation for the benefit of a large number of people.

To enter such a couple, or become such a couple, you need to go a long way, together or separately. Rarely does a couple go through all three stages together, becoming partners and like-minded people. Most couples now separate already at the first stage, or at best stop at the second. I know cases when a couple separated at the first stage and then, having gone through each of their own paths, met already at the third level. Each couple has their own path.

Of course, all the divisions and gradations here are very arbitrary, and each person and couple is unique in their own way, but understanding the type of men and relationships in our lives can help us see our current location and direction of movement and growth. Be happy.

Psychology of love and sex [Popular encyclopedia] Shcherbatykh Yuri Viktorovich

Types of relationships in marriage

Types of relationships in marriage

A well-chosen couple is one in which both spouses simultaneously feel the need for a scandal.

Jules Renard

Marriage can often be likened to a fire in a peat bog - on the outside everything is fine, but deep below the surface a fire of quarrels is raging, occasionally bursting out in flames. It is very difficult to extinguish it, pouring water on top is almost useless, you can only wait for the peat to burn out on its own or for prolonged rains. In the same way, many apparently successful marriages conceal within themselves the flames of resentment and anger. Wilhelm Reich, one of the first to raise the problem of marital dysfunction, noted that according to the results of his studies of 93 married couples, it turned out that bad relationships or obvious infidelity were observed in 66 cases, pessimistic or sick spouses - in 18, a very dubious situation, but outwardly calm, was noted in 6 couples, and really good relationships - only in 3 married couples! Moreover, none of the three marriages that he described as prosperous lasted three years.

According to V. Reich, the ability to maintain long-term sexual relationships presupposed the following prerequisites: the presence of full orgasmic potency of sexual partners, that is, the absence of disruptions in the connection between tender and sensual sexuality; absence of repression of any non-sublimated sexual impulses, such as homosexual or non-genital aspirations and an absolutely positive attitude towards sexuality and cheerfulness; the ability to have a relationship with a partner based on spiritual partnership. Only in this case, according to the scientist, could the marriage be stable and happy.

Eric Berne identified eight types of relationships between spouses, allegorically denoting them with the letters of the Latin alphabet: AHIOSVXY. He wrote: “In case “A” the marriage begins as forced, as a means to something. The partners are distant from each other, but soon find a certain common connection, such as a newborn child. This is represented by the horizontal stroke of the letter "A". Over time, they become closer and closer and finally converge, and their concerns become common. This is represented by the top of the letter "A".

The N marriage begins in a similar way, but the partners never become closer to each other, and the marriage is maintained by a single connection. In all other respects, the partners move as they did before marriage.

Marriage “I” from beginning to end takes place in conditions where the couple is fused into something single.

The O's marriage goes round and round in circles, never getting anywhere, repeating the same patterns until it ends due to death or divorce.

Marriage "S" wanders around in search of happiness and finally comes to a point somewhat higher and to the right of where it began, but never goes further than that. This leaves partners frustrated and irritated, making them good candidates for therapy because there is a lot in the marriage that makes them not want a divorce.

A "V" marriage begins with the partners being intimate, but they immediately begin to drift apart, perhaps after the honeymoon or even after the first night.

Marriage "X" begins as "A", then at some point there is a single moment of bliss. The partners wait for him to repeat himself, but he never returns again, and they soon begin to move away from each other.

"Y's" marriage starts off well, but difficulties multiply and gradually everyone finds their own separate interests and goes their own way."

Based on this taxonomy, you can analyze your own marriage and decide which of the described types it belongs to.

Another important point in marriage relationships is the degree of sincerity of each partner. A woman can sincerely love her husband and happily give him care and affection, or she can do this because it is necessary, in order, not from the heart, but from the mind, in order to maintain normal relationships in the family. An illustration of the first option can be the attitude of the last wife of the composer M. Tariverdiev towards her husband, with whom she lived 13 years of her life (in their mutual opinion, the best of all that they had lived): “Most of our families suffer because people find out relationships with each other, asserting their leadership. Nature is such that the leader is a man. And a woman actually loves to obey. But submit to a strong man. I lived with a very strong, absolute man, an absolute leader. That's why we had a rule: the man is always right. By the way, this is very convenient. I would even say practical. Responsibility for the decision falls on the man. And a weak woman will always be loved, forgiven and comforted.”

Examples of other types of family relationships can be found in the recommendations that psychologist Olga Arnold gives to wives in her books. In her opinion, these tips should help women improve their family life. “Meet your husband with a smile. Don’t start any conversations until you feed him, and you must serve him yourself, no matter how tired you are.” The rest of the advice is in the same spirit: “Don’t criticize.” "Don't discuss his relatives." “With a smart look, try to delve into his affairs, even if you don’t understand anything about them.” “Thank him for everything he does around the house, and don’t mention his mistakes.” “Do not interrupt your husband under any circumstances.” “Don’t forget about encouragement, from praise to flattery.” “Never give him orders.”

This is some kind of mixture of Dale Carnegie and the commandments of the Turkish Sultan to his wives. If a woman follows these principles under duress, what is called reluctantly, then this will not last long. I doubt that these tips will be unconditionally adopted by Russian ladies; rather, they will go out to demonstrate with slogans from the times of the October Revolution: “We are not slaves, we are not slaves!”

Of course, a man is pleased to hear only praise and compliments from his wife, but a living person also has the right to negative emotions. An intelligent person, on the contrary, should be wary if he is fed only molasses and honey. There is a feeling that you are simply being manipulated, however, Olga Arnold herself does not hide this, who writes: “A smart woman will always be able to inspire her husband with what exactly he wants.” So after the words “Dear...”, spoken in a sweet voice, there is usually a request to buy or do something necessary for the wife - from fixing an iron to buying a new dress.

Some, however, may argue that peace in the family, built on mutual politeness and diplomatic tricks, on hiding deeper one’s emotions and grievances, is better than quarrels and scandals when spouses allow their negative feelings to be thrown out on each other. I don’t want to dispute the slogan of the ancient Romans, “A bad peace is better than a good quarrel,” but you don’t want a “bad” peace in the family, but a wonderful one, with a sparkle in the eyes and a rainbow of happiness over the marital bed. And here we recall the apt Russian proverb “He is not sweet in a good way, but he is good in a good way,” which again draws our attention to the primacy of love in marital relationships. If it is not there, then no psychotechnology will help.

Let's re-read Dale Carnegie carefully. In his books he warned us against flattery. “Praise must be sincere,” he taught, but for some reason this is forgotten. People think that if you give a person a compliment, you will immediately win them over. But if there is no sincerity in your words, then the effect will be the opposite. If a woman tells her husband that he is very smart, but she herself thinks, “Now he will soften from my words, and I will twist ropes out of him,” then this is the path to destroying the relationship, not strengthening it. But if a wife finds real merits in her husband (for example, at one time he graduated from a university with honors, repaired his car himself, or showed his son on the map where Brazil is) and with sincere admiration says to her husband: “Amazing, dear! You know things that I have no idea about!”, then such a compliment will not be ignored. Flattery for the purpose of manipulating a person is always deceitful, and lies are rust that corrodes human relationships. At the same time, people always appreciate sincere feelings towards them and their expression. Therefore, do not be lazy to look for virtues in your partners and do not hesitate to say what you like in a loved one.

This should be done carefully. Surprisingly, good words, like medicine, also need to be dosed. To a person unaccustomed to praise, they may seem insincere. I knew one person who considered his figure ugly and was embarrassed about his legs. When his girlfriend first stroked his legs admiringly and told him she was crazy about them, he took it as obvious ridicule. He did not understand then that for a loving person, every little thing in a loved one is precious. It took him a long time to get rid of his inferiority complex about his body and improve his self-esteem. Thanks to the sincere love of another person, he was able to truly love himself.

As mentioned above, different people understand love in different ways, which can cause misunderstanding between spouses and conflicts in family life. It happens that, accepting signs of attention from a man during courtship (flowers, compliments, promises, passion of feelings, assurances of love...), a woman expects the same love to continue after marriage. But the legal spouse rarely plays the role of a hero-lover. Some time after the wedding, his love changes. She becomes more even and calm. A man can love even more than before the wedding, but if before the wedding love resembled a raging mountain stream, then later it began to resemble a wide flat river slowly carrying its waters to the ocean. And the woman continues to expect vows of eternal love, nightly madness and bouquets of roses from her husband. Alas, as a rule, her expectations are not met. This situation can seriously spoil the relationship between spouses and push a woman onto the path of adultery.

From the book Diary of a Rope Dancer author Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich

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Commitment in Marriage I know a girl who is desperate to get married. She feels that she is already at the age when a woman should have a family. She told me several times that she dreamed of finding a husband who would love her, provide for her financially and

From the author's book

Chapter 11. Bodily aspects of the formation of relationships in the process of courtship and in marriage This chapter will be devoted to the peculiarities of the role of sex during courtship, falling in love, during decision-making and at the time of the formation of a marriage. In subsequent chapters we will also look at

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of men in our lives - sun-winged creatures who can soar at unattainable heights, filling our lives with energy, actions that can lift a woman to the skies and make her a queen, or mercilessly throw her off the pedestal at some point... giving confidence and peace , a feeling of warmth and security, how easy and safe it can be in your presence, you complete us and give our life a look of perfection and completeness. Your speed is mesmerizing, your solar energy fills our body and warms our soul, your ability to immediately move from words to action is amazing, in your presence the world takes on brighter colors, only you can make it so happy and so painful at the same time.

You give different feelings and emotions, from the most beautiful to the most destructive. Without you, life would be gray and very ordinary, you are able to make a real holiday, give that feeling of flight and inspiration that grows wings and opens the heart and soul, next to you I want to create, be beautiful, create comfort, give birth to children and projects (after all projects are, to some extent, also our children).

In the modern world, men are often scolded for inactivity, lack of initiative, and excessive effeminacy. I believe that what kind of men come into a woman’s life depends primarily on herself and on her readiness for a certain interaction. Men who come into women's lives are of three types.

The first type: these are male Teachers, those who came to teach us something, to teach us a lesson, so that we, often through the collapse of illusions and unbearable pain, learn something and, as a result, ourselves develop some qualities that are important to us and have become better. Through disappointments and resentments, we grow thanks to such men and relationships. In these relationships, there may be burning passion, the amplitude of emotions is off the charts, the woman is at the peak of emotions, from all-encompassing happiness to unbridled anger or jealousy. In relationships with Teachers, we often cry. These are the relationships in which we fly like a bird into the sky and fall, breaking into pieces on the ground. This is a fire that burns all living things in its path. Sometimes “study” relationships, on the contrary, are characterized by a feeling of emptiness, boredom and complete misunderstanding (often such couples would be happy to separate, but living together, children, acquired property or some other circumstances that “keep” people together). Unfortunately, many people live their lives in such relationships, torturing each other, closing their feelings or starting relationships on the side, without ever knowing the true depth and intimacy that cannot exist at this level. Or, unable to withstand the intensity of passions, the couple runs away. Pain, unbridled passion or complete indifference are the hallmarks of such relationships. In rare cases, after going through difficulties and growing up, a couple moves to the next level. If we parted ways with a man without having learned the lesson, it will be repeated with the next male Teacher, but in a harsher form. Until we understand what we needed to learn. The lesson may be in starting to love and appreciate yourself, or in the ability to designate and defend your boundaries, in respect for masculinity, in accepting another person - there can be a lot of options, you need to understand each specific case.

If a woman has learned certain lessons from a relationship, has grown, acquired wisdom and knowledge, a man, a Fellow Traveler, comes into her life. (or the Teacher becomes a Travel Companion, the relationship moves to another level). Very rarely, a woman has certain knowledge from birth; it is already built into her system, absorbed with the milk of a wise mother, then she immediately meets a Fellow Traveler, bypassing Teachers. This is a much more mature relationship, characterized by warmth and mutual understanding. Pain may be present at some episodic moments, but it is not dominant as in the first case. There is no indifference here. There is a lot of quiet joy, satisfaction, dominant feelings of confidence and peace. Relationships resemble a peacefully burning candle, giving a small, but very stable and warming light; emotional swings, unlike the first type, are absent. There may be several fellow travelers on our way. This is a relationship in which we do something together with passion, joy and inspiration. This is an interesting, constructive and developing relationship. Walking a certain path together. Children in such unions are usually self-sufficient and happy. Also peacefully, having walked a certain path together, fellow travelers can disperse and go different ways. You can live in such relationships for many years, appreciating and warming each other. Or go further, into the third type of relationship.

The third, extremely rare type of relationship in modern society is a man who is a soul partner, a like-minded person. In these relationships, worlds are created, the energy of such a couple affects the entire environment. This is the case when 1+1=11, two people strengthen each other many times over, this is a connection at the level of souls, closeness of body, soul and spirit (not to be confused with codependency - here two absolutely self-sufficient people interact). Each of them no longer needs a partner for integrity; they each feel good on their own, but together they are better off. Such a couple is created when two very conscious and integral people meet; they are creators and masters of their lives in their essence. There is no mistrust, no sense of possessiveness, everyone in a couple is a separate person, the connection is already so deep that all social games, such as jealousy, no longer have any meaning. The main thing in such a couple is joint creation for the benefit of a large number of people.

To enter such a couple, or become such a couple, you need to go a long way, together or separately. Rarely does a couple go through all three stages together, becoming partners and like-minded people. Most couples now separate already at the first stage, or at best stop at the second. I know cases when a couple separated at the first stage and then, having gone through each of their own paths, met already at the third level. Each couple has their own path.

Of course, all the divisions and gradations here are very arbitrary, and each person and couple is unique in their own way, but understanding the type of men and relationships in our lives can help us see our current location and direction of movement and growth. Be happy!