Tanya (1 year 6 months) and her mother went for a walk after the rain. The girl looks into the puddle, sees the reflection of the clouds there and declares:
Mom, the clouds have fallen!
Mom prepared tea with lemon for breakfast. Tanya tried it and says:
This is tea with lemon. I didn't order this.
Tanya (2 years 3 months) and her dad look at photographs depicting scenes from life kindergarten. Tanya explains:
These are children, these are teachers.
Dad clarifies:
What do kindergarten teachers do?
They eat and play. 
Tanya and dad are playing. During the game, a dispute arose. Tanya states:
That's it, I'm offended by you! I'm leaving!
Mom asks:
Tanyusha, where are you going?
I'm getting married.
After sitting for a while in the next room, he returns and says:
That's it, I got married.
Dad is getting ready for work in the morning. Tanya observes:
Dad, where are you going?
To work at the university. Where are you going?
To work in kindergarten.
What kind of work do you have there?
Playing.
Tanya and dad were looking at the Nikitins' books. Dad shows photos and comments:
This is grandfather Nikitin.
Tanya looks attentively and asks in bewilderment:
Where is Nikita himself?
Tanya (2 years 6 months) returned home from kindergarten, heard someone talking in the room, and asked her mother:
Who's there?
What are they doing?
They eat and talk.
Tanya indignantly:
But it’s uncivilized to talk while eating.
Tanya found the book “Piano Play,” opened it and began to pretend to play. When she finished, she stated:
I completed all the tasks, but the piano is missing.
Tanya and her mother are playing clinic. Tanya distributes the roles:
I am a doctor, and you are a mother. Here's your daughter.
Mom, in order to complicate the doctor’s actions, began to list:
We have a runny nose, a red throat, a headache, our arm was hit, our leg was twisted.
Tanya the doctor indignantly declares:
Mom, why don't you look after the child?
Dad strokes Tanya on the head and says:
Our Tanya is blonde.
To which Tanya states:
And our dad is Belarusian.
Dad and Tanya talked about sweets.
Tanya lists:
Chocolate, candy, lemon...
Dad asks:
Is lemon really sweet?
What if you sprinkle it with sugar?
At the dacha. Dad plays with Tanya (4 years 6 months). Hearing his name, he is about to leave:
My grandfather calls me for advice on what size to build a bathhouse.
And you tell him - size 50 or 48 and come back to play with me.
Mom went to visit. Dad stayed with Tanya (5 years old). After reading her a bedtime story, he says that he won’t study with her anymore, as he was very tired during the day.
Tanya listened to him and remarked: “It’s not like you need to look after the child.”
Tanya (5 years 2 months) comments on her drawing for her parents (explains why the purple butterfly is surrounded by a thick yellow outline). The parents didn’t quite like this explanation, and Tanya leaves. After a while she returns and declares: “I have new brains” - and begins to explain everything differently.
On the eve of mom's birthday.
Mom, it's your birthday tomorrow. And how old are you?
Well, let's say twenty years.
A-and-and, you are so old!
How old do you think I am?
Well, fifteen years...
April. Clear sunny day. Tanya (5 years 3 months) goes outside, sees green grass, burst buds on trees and bushes and philosophically declares:
Yes… new life begins!
Tanya is watching TV and suddenly says:
But the TV has no soul.
Tanya is 5 years and 7 months old.
Mom, did you fall in love with dad since childhood or at first sight?
Tanya returns from kindergarten and says:
Dad, I have such big news. It was the first time I truly fell in love.
We bring to your attention a series of sketches about family for children and schoolchildren.
Humorous skit – “Family Auction”
There is a wife, husband and two children in the kitchen. The wife is standing at the stove, the men are sitting.
Wife: So, lot number one - borscht! The starting price is to wash your own dishes.
Husband: I’ll wash the dishes for you and myself!
Wife: Washing dishes for two - once!
Son: I’ll wash all the dishes!
Wife: Wash all the dishes - once!
Second son: I’ll wash all the dishes and take out the trash!
Wife: Eldest son, clever! Once! Takes out the trash and washes all the dishes! Two! He will take out the trash and wash all the dishes...
Husband: And I’ll give you my salary!
Wife: Sold! The man in the gray T-shirt!
Humorous sketch about a wife and husband
A woman pours soup from a pot into a man's plate.
Woman: How's that? Why are you silent? Do you like the way I cook?! Don't like it?!! Why are you wheezing?!! Tell me in human terms?!! If you don't like it, you can leave!!! Why are you lying down?!!!
A man lies under the table with severe poisoning.
Family scene – “Male Hysteria”
The husband is lying on the sofa, watching TV. The wife enters the room.
Husband: I need a new T-shirt!
Wife: Why?
Husband: Look what I'm lying in!
Wife: in a T-shirt...
Husband: In a T-shirt?!! Is this a T-shirt?! Look, Seryoga from 42nd wife bought a T-shirt - so it’s a T-shirt! And I bought new sweatpants! Lying on the sofa like a prince! And me?! I don’t have anything to wear on the sofa?
Wife: Dear, but we can’t now...
Husband: Oh so?! I'm going to dad!
Video: funny skit for children about family
Friendly family. Mini-scene for children
Vladimir Kozhushner
The room contains: a table covered with a tablecloth, a sofa (couch), a TV and a bedside table. On the nightstand there is a vase of flowers, a magazine, a dry cloth, a decanter of water and an empty glass.
The furniture is arranged so that you can run around the table. From the TV you can hear an argument between two voices, male and female.
Brother and sister Vova and Tanya are sitting on chairs at the table and watching TV. There is a blouse hanging on the back of Tanya’s chair.
Vova: Switch the TV to another channel.
Tanya: Why?
Vova: I don’t want to listen to my aunt and uncle argue among themselves.
Tanya: This is not aunt and uncle, but husband and wife. Italians. Here.
Vova: I still don’t want to. Switch, please.
Tanya: Okay. Only then let's play husband and wife.
Vova: How will we play?
Tanya: Very simple. You will do whatever I ask you to do.
Tanya gets up from the chair, turns off the TV (the squabble subsides), goes to the bedside table, takes a magazine, goes to the sofa, lies down and pretends to be looking at a fashion magazine. There is silence in the room. Vova looks at her sister and waits for her command.
Tanya: Bring me some water.
Vova gets up, goes to the bedside table, pours a glass of water and silently hands it to her.
Tanya casually puts down the magazine, gets up, takes the glass from Vova, drinks it and returns it.
Vova puts the glass on the nightstand, goes to the switch and turns on the light.
Tanya lies down on the sofa again, straightens her hair, shivers and pretends that she is cold.
Tanya: Give me a blouse. It got a little cold.
Vova: I won’t give you a blouse. Get up and take it yourself. You're already big.
Tanya jumps up from the sofa.
Tanya: So unfair. You promised to do whatever I ask you to do.
Dad comes in and, smiling, turns to Tanya.
Dad: Why are you bossing your brother around?
Tanya: Because I’m a wife and I can do anything.
Dad makes a menacing appearance and, swaying from foot to foot like a bear, goes to Tanya.
Dad: We'll spank you now! Is it possible to command men?
Tanya runs away from her dad with a squeak. Vova also rushes after her. They are trying to catch her. There's a commotion in the room. Fast music is playing. The heroes run around the table, squealing and squealing joyfully. On the way, Tanya accidentally knocks over a chair and pulls the tablecloth off the table. Then he runs to the exit and runs into his mother on the threshold. Hiding behind her back. There is a smile on the face. It's obvious that she likes the game.
Mom: What's that noise?
The music stops.
Tanya: They want to spank me!
Mom puts her hands on her hips and makes a serious face.
Mom: Two for one? So unfair! Now we will show you!
Now dad is running away, and mom and Tanya are chasing him. Everyone is running around the table and Vova, who stands like a pillar. Fast music plays again. Dad shouts as he runs, “Oh! Ay!”, Mom – “Now we’ll catch you!”, Tanya – “Catch him! Catch it!” Mom catches up with dad at the sofa, and they fall on it. Tanya jumps from above. Then Vova comes running and also jumps on dad. It turns out a heap - small!
Dad: Enough! Enough! You will crush me!
The children are reluctant to let dad go. Breathing heavily, everyone sits down on the sofa. The music stops. Mom looks at dad.
Mom: Explain what happened?
Dad: Daughter, she watched enough TV series and began to command Vova. I decided to protect him.
Mom: Yes, you came up with good education - spanking a child!
Tanya: Mom! So he's pretending.
Mom: I already told you that you don’t need to watch adult films. The eyes become spoiled, the head becomes filled with unnecessary information, and time is wasted.
Tanya: Okay, mommy. Can I watch children's programs?
Mom hugs her daughter. Gently strokes the head.
Mom: It’s possible.
Mom and Dad get up. They join hands. The children jump up. Vova hugs dad. Tanya hugs her mother.
Mom: My pranksters. How I love you!
Mom lets go of dad’s hands and tries to free herself from Tanya’s embrace. Children hug their parents even tighter. Mom speaks kindly.
Mom: That's it. All. Let's play. Now, my dears, put things in order in the room, and I’ll go to the kitchen.
Children let their parents go. Mom comes out. Everyone starts cleaning up together. Tanya takes a cloth from the bedside table, wipes off the dust and lays the tablecloth on the table. Vova picks up the chairs and puts them in place. Dad opens the curtain on the window.
Mom comes in.
Mom: How clean! Well done! You deserve lunch! Come on, I'll feed you.
The children run up to their mother. Mom hugs them and heads towards the exit. Dad walks behind and smiles.
Curtain.
Funny sketches about family for children in kindergarten
Funny skits about family for schoolchildren
Relaxation evening “We feel good together” dedicated to Family Day.
Goals:
- Fostering love and respect for your family;
- Development and formation of a friendly team of children and parents.
- Development creativity children.
Hall decoration: balloons, a birch tree with leaves, on each of them there is a photo of each child’s family. Exhibition creative works families Children's photographs of mothers.
Equipment: for competitions - 2 aprons, 2 scarves, 2 pots, rope, 2 chairs, 2 newspapers, 2 threads, 2 needles, potatoes, knives. Music center.
Progress of the event:
Leading:
Good evening, dear children and dear parents!
It’s a glorious holiday in our house,
I think that there is no one more important than him.
Your dads and moms are here today.
Is there anyone in the world
Closer and dearer.
Our meeting is dedicated to Family Day. What is family?
Student:
Family is what we share among everyone,
A little bit of everything: tears and laughter,
Rise and fall, joy, sadness,
Friendship and quarrels, silence stamped.
Family is something that is always with you.
Let the seconds, weeks, years rush by,
But the walls are dear, your father’s house -
The heart will forever remain in it!
Student:
I love my family very much
I send her warm greetings:
Dad, mom and sister,
To the old granny and... to me!
Leading:
I congratulate everyone present on this holiday. I wish your families happiness, health, prosperity and all the best.
Thank you for putting aside all your affairs and worries and coming here with your children.
Welcome to our family holiday“We feel good together.”
We have gathered for an evening that we hope will give you good mood. Be active, play, take part in competitions and just relax!
And now, I will ask you a few questions, to which I think I will receive honest answers (an improvised microphone is passed; the question is answered by the one who has the “microphone” in his hands after a certain signal)
- Were you asked to go to the party or did you agree immediately?
- When was the last time you were at school?
- Are you interested in your child's life at school?
- Do you remember your first lesson?
- Which academic subject was your favorite?
- Do you communicate with your school friends?
- Have you always behaved well in class?
- Were you punished? If yes, then for what?
- Who did you dream of being as a child? Has your dream come true?
- How often do you spend free time with your children?
Thanks to the parents. Now guys, guess who these words are about:
There are many of them in this world,
Children love them with all their hearts,
Only, everyone has one,
She is dearer to you than everyone else
Who is she?
I will answer: THIS my mommy.
Mom... What a short and important word! Without it, life on earth is impossible. Years pass, mothers grow old, but they still remain the most faithful and reliable friends and helpers in all matters.
Do you know what your mothers were like as children?
Now we will check you .
Task for children: recognize your mother from a childhood photograph, tell your mother’s birthday.
Student:
Mom's smile
Brings happiness into the home
Mom's smile
Needed everywhere, in everything!
Student:
Mom brings me
Toys, candies,
But that’s not why I love my mother.
She sings funny songs
The two of us are never bored!
Task for moms: sing a lullaby.
Contest " Hostess"
Mothers put on an apron and headscarf. Children tie an apron. After mom gets dressed, pick up the pan. Who is faster?
Competition for children.
Thread the needle.
Student:
Now we want to give our mothers some advice on how to behave with their children:
Student 1:
There must be a mother's character
Necessarily humane, very humane:
If I get a C -
Don't sigh all evening.
Student 2:
And say: “Go to the cinema,
Take a walk together -
Clear your head from your geometries!”
Student 3:
There must be a mother's character
Definitely humane!
Shouldn't be gloomy!
Student 4:
I'll forget the promise-
Take a bag of vegetables
On the dacha plot -
Mom should take her
It may strain
Let her not groan:
“It’s terribly hard!” —
Let him show courage.
Student 5:
This is my mother's character
Without a doubt humane!
He is human, friends!
And quite comfortable!
Leading:
Moms, do you agree?
They want to hear: “Yes” in response
And, of course, you hear “no”!
Leading:
Now guess who these words are about:
Student:
He can do everything, he can do everything,
The bravest and strongest of all
The barbell is like cotton wool to him
Well, of course, it's DAD
Leading:
Children wrote essays about dads. I will read excerpts from them. (Appendix).
Task for dads- recognize yourself by description.
Student:
What is our home without dad!
Really guys?
Who will fix the stool?
Will give you a ride by car,
Marks in my diary
Knows everything for recount!
Student:
What a miracle, this is how things are!
Our newspaper has come to life:
She's lying on daddy's nose
And the sound of his snoring rustles!
Student:
Cape Dad decided to do some cleaning.
"My friend!" - said dad.
“It’s time to get used to it!”
“Great idea!” - mom said
And immediately she ran away from the house.
Mom sits in the park for three hours, looking at her mobile phone with fear:
“When will the cleaning end?
Will I be able to return home at last?!”
Leading:
We're joking, of course
But it's very nice
When next to you
Your smart dad!
Blitz. children's survey:
- Dad's favorite dish?
— shoe size?
— favorite place in the house?
- Dad's birthday?
Competition for dads:
The child carries a newspaper, dad unfolds it, puts on glasses, sits in a comfortable position and reads.
Leading:
And now friends, attention!
I propose a competition.
Who is strong here, who is clever here,
Show off your skills!
Exercise: dads and children tug of war.
The winner is awarded the “Strongest Family” medal.
Student:
Why not tell us kind words about dads
who love us so much
Who only sometimes scold,
And they praise, they praise very many times.
Student:
Thanks to them for their masculine severity,
For restraint, for will and comfort,
For strong and faithful male hands,
That they love us and take care of our home.
Student:
We are our mothers and fathers
We would like to wish you good luck.
Success in business and warmth in the family.
We so want people to know everything,
That our mothers
That our dads.
Always the best!
Parents' response:
Host: Who is smarter than everyone else in the world?
Host: Who is dearer to us all in the world?
Parents: Our children, our children!
Host: Who heals our hearts with love?
Parents: Our children, our children!
Host: Who is so eager to meet us?
Parents: Our children!
Host: Your children!
Student:
How our fathers and mothers love us.
Student:
They dress us, put on shoes, wash us, prepare food for us.
Student:
They worry when we are sick.
Student:
And sometimes they don’t pay attention to how we behave.
Student:
Can we show you how it happens?
Student:
Well, let's do it. Although there are no such people among us, it won’t hurt our parents to see this.
Scene.
Mother:
Daughter, daughter!
Do me a favor!
Feed your brother
Butter cookies!
Daughter:
Mom, I'm tired of dealing with my brother.
I want to swing on a swing in the park!
Dad:
Daughter, dear!
Clean up your apartment!
On your table for a long time
Mountains of garbage and dust!
Daughter:
If you really need it -
Clean it yourself!
I've been deciding for three hours now
In recent decades, our wonderful people have suddenly begun to borrow so much from other cultures. We use borrowed words, eat borrowed food... And we began to have holidays that were alien to us. For example, Valentine's Day has nothing to do with our Orthodox culture. After all, there is one wonderful holiday Day of Peter and Fevronia! This is what we decided to make traditional in our kindergarten.
Download:
Preview:
Holiday scenario
"Dads and daughters, mothers and sons"
PROGRESS OF THE HOLIDAY
The song “Chamomile Fields” is playing
Leading: Good afternoon, dear guests! We are glad to see you at a family holiday. Family is the most important thing in life for each of us. Family is close and dear people, those whom we love, from whom we take example, whom we care about, to whom we wish goodness and happiness. It is in the family that we learn love, responsibility, care and respect.Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy said: “Happy is he who is happy at home.” You will become adults, and each of you will have your own family, how do you see it?(children's answers).
You and I are growing in a family circle,
The basis of the foundations is the parental home.
All your roots are in the family circle,
And you came into life from family.
It’s not for nothing that Rus' has so many proverbs and sayings about family, which ones do you know? I know these:
Family in a heap - not even a cloud is scary
There is no need for treasure when there is harmony in the family
When the family is together and the heart is in the right place
Even if it’s crowded, it’s better together
With sweetheart paradise and in a hut
Live soul to soul
At our family holiday there are family teams and a family council that acts as a jury. Introducing the teams and family council (jury).
So, our family advice:
Chapter _______________
Members of the family council _____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
______________________________________________
Our competition will take place in several stages:
Stage I: "Business card": self-presentation in free form using any form of presentation. During the competition, participants demonstrate their hobbies, creativity, and imagination. Presentation time is 5 minutes.Maximum score – 5 points.
Stage II: "Erudite" competition:During the competition, family members reveal the breadth of their horizons, general culture, improvisation, and ingenuity. Maximum score – 5 points.
Stage III: "Family Miracles":During the competition, all families will be given the opportunity to show their various talents: drawing, handicrafts, singing, reading poetry.
Stage IV: "Finger lickin' competition": presentation of a signature family dish. Maximum score – 5 points.
Well, it's time to start our competition program.
So, the competition "Business card."
(Team performance, presentation).
Well, the first competition has passed. We learned a lot of interesting things about our families.
Day of family, love and fidelity - good, bright holiday. And who knows which Orthodox saints have become a real example for all of us? One flower has become the symbol of Family Day, love and fidelity...
They call it the yellow-eyed flower,
They picked a flower - they use the petals to tell fortunes.
That's right, it's chamomile. Chamomile is a flower of Russian fields and meadows. And besides this, chamomile most directly relates to love. Who knows how? They guessed on a chamomile - “loves - doesn’t love.”
Now it's time for the second competition"Erudite".
There are many proverbs and sayings about family. Let's remember them. Now a little warm-up and the first task. You need to correct what is wrong.
– Don’t be born beautiful, but be born rich (happy).
– Love is a ring, and a ring has no problems (no beginning and no end).
– Seven nannies have a child in their care (without an eye).
- Darlings only fight on Fridays (they have fun).
Now continue the proverb.
- A guest on the doorstep means happiness in... (home).
- A house without a mistress... (orphan).
- Lead the house... (don’t shake your beard).
– An apple from an apple tree... (doesn’t fall far).
- The richer we are... (the more we are happy).
- It’s good when visiting, ... (but at home it’s better).
The warm-up was successful. Now the second task. From the set of words that you will now receive in envelopes, make up a proverb. You can change case, form, add prepositions and particles.
Quests:
- Family, heap, scary, cloud.(A family in a heap is not a scary cloud.)
– Children, burden, joy.(Children are not a burden, but a joy.)
- House, lead, sleeve, shake.(Leading a house is not a matter of shaking your sleeve.)
- Family, treasure, okay, not needed. (There is no need for treasure when there is harmony in the family.)
– Family, place, soul, together.(When the family is together, the soul is in place.)
Task three “Through the mouth of a baby.”
- This is when everyone is together - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa.(Family)
“This is the most precious thing in a family; it is treasured and passed on from generation to generation.”(Family Heirloom)
– The most gentle, kindest, most beloved person for all people on Earth.(Mother)
– A place where we all go together.(House)
“It’s so small, squeaky, and causes a lot of trouble, but they still love it.”(Child)
“She knits socks for everyone and bakes the most wonderful pies and buns.”(Grandmother)
- All the children play with them.(Toys)
– This is not a person, but all family members love him.(Pet)
Well done, teams. Now it's time to prepare for the third competition. We offer you a choice of several creative tasks:
Leading: While the jury is summing up the results of the two stages, the participants are getting ready, we will play with the fans.
Blitz tournament for fans.
1. What can’t you bake bread without?(No crust)
2. In what year do people eat more than usual?(On leap days).
3. What kind of water can be brought in a sieve?(Frozen)
4. What is half an orange more like?(To the other half)
5. What tree does the crow sit on after the rain?(On wet)
6. In which fields does grass not grow?(On the margins of a school notebook)
7. What comb can you use to comb your head?(Petushin)
8. What does the watchman do if there is a sparrow sitting on his hat?(sleeping)
9. Where does the water stand?(In a glass)
10. What disease does no one get on land?(Nautical)
11. What do people walk on but never drive?(Across the chessboard)
12. The name of which bird consists of a letter and the name of a river?(Oriole)
13. What is between the city and the village?(Conjunction “I”)
14. What can you watch with your eyes closed?(Dream)
15. My father's son, but not my brother. Who is he?(Myself)
Leading: Well, our last competition is "You'll Lick Your Fingers."
Now the team members will introduce us to their family specialties.(Teams present their dishes).
Leading: Our competition tasks have come to an end, all participants did a great job. While the jury sums up the results of our competition, you and I will play a little.
Now the floor is given to our Family Council.
(The jury's word. Awards in the nominations “The most friendly family”, “The most creative family”, “The most musical family”, “The most intellectual family”, etc.)
Leading: What is family? A family is not just relatives who live together, it is people who are united by feelings, interests, and attitudes to life. There is nothing more valuable than family.
Family is what we share among everyone,
A little bit of everything: tears and laughter,
Rise and fall, joy, sadness,
Friendship and quarrels, silence stamped.
Family is something that is always with you.
Let the seconds, weeks, years rush by,
But the walls are dear, your father’s house -
The heart will forever remain in it!
And now, dear participants and fans, ending this evening, I would like to say a big thank you to everyone and express the hope that the family holiday helped us get to know each other better, unite, take another step towards mutual understanding and unity.
Closing song
This sketch is about how an oligarch dad tries to explain to his eleven-year-old daughter what New Year. Scene for 2 people.
Dad: Daughter, it’s the end of December, do you know what holiday is coming soon?
Daughter: Listen, dad, I’m only 11 years old, how do I know such difficulties? Go to the fourth living room on the third floor, I think there’s a calendar hanging there.
Dad: Well, we already celebrated this holiday. Try to guess.
Daughter: Oh, I see, this is the holiday when we go to Hawaii.
Dad: No, daughter, the holiday you are talking about is your birthday. We celebrate it on the 5th of every month.
Daughter: Oh, is this the day when we ride on a tank?
Dad: No, it’s victory day.
Daughter: Oh, a day of plane rides?
Dad: No, it's aviation day.
Daughter: Oh, I remembered. This is the day when you tell everyone that you have no money.
Dad: No, then the first of April... or the day the tax inspector arrives. But what I'm talking about is a different holiday.
Daughter: Well, the last thing I remember is the day we went to the water park.
Dad: Oh, baby, how do you remember such little things. The Jacuzzi just broke that day.
Daughter: I give up.
Dad: Well, the New Year holiday is coming soon.
Daughter: And what’s unusual about it?
Dad: On this day they give gifts.
Daughter: Well, I’m asking, what’s unusual about it?
Dad: On this day, it’s not me who gives gifts, but Santa Claus.
Daughter: Does Santa Claus have even more money than you?
Dad: No.
Daughter: Why does he give gifts to everyone then? It would be better if he bought something for himself.
Dad: No, giving gifts is his job.
Daughter: Is this job highly paid?
Dad: No, no one pays him anything for this.
Daughter: It’s good that you are not Santa Claus. Well, tell me how you celebrate the New Year.
Dad: The whole family gets together, they drink wine, eat salads, and the children shout “Burn the Christmas tree” and the Christmas tree lights up.
Daughter: Oh, I would have said that right away. It's barbecue day.
Dad: Why kebabs?
Daughter: Well, on barbecue day the whole family also gets together, they also drink wine and eat salads, and the children make a fire to fry kebabs.
Dad: There’s so much you still don’t know. For me, the New Year is associated with tangerines and chewing gum for a ruble.
Daughter: Dad, I’m bad with foreign currencies, so tell me, the ruble is how much it is in our Russian thousands.
Dad: Well, one ruble is exactly a thousand times less than a Russian thousand.
Daughter (Innocently): What a coincidence!
Dad: Remember this, because in our country, in addition to thousands, rubles are also accepted! Daughter: Tough, two currencies for one country!
Dad: Well, now let's decorate the Christmas tree!
Daughter: Why dress her up if she’s going to burn anyway?
Dad: No, it won’t burn, we’ll just hang lanterns on it, and they will glow.
Daughter: Well, I was already thinking about jumping over the fire. Okay, let's go.
The family is expecting an addition. Lisa (5 years old) asks her mother:
- Why is your belly getting bigger and bigger?
“I ate a watermelon, swallowed a seed, and now a new watermelon is growing in my stomach!” - Mom answers.
Lisa narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips:
“Aren’t you pregnant, my dear?”
My son is 2 years 6 months old. I brought him to the children's hospital for vaccination.
We sit in the vaccination room, waiting while my aunt loads the syringe. Suddenly he
turns to me and says:
- I’ll wait for you in the car, okay?!
In the summer, my son (4 years old) sits and takes a blade of grass into his mouth as if
smokes Speaks:
- Mom, look, I smoke.
- Kolya, you can’t smoke!
- Mom, I’m weed.
We are returning from the fireworks show. Cub (3 years 6 months) all 50
minutes of the performance I sat spellbound. The car burst.
He hugs me by the neck from the back seat:
- Mommy, I’m so happy! Thank you for giving birth to me.
Kirill (2 years 1 month) on the street saw him coming out of the entrance
man and without unnecessary greetings, addresses:
- Did you go for a walk?
The man was dumbfounded:
- Yeah.
—Have you put on your hat?
- Yes.
- And put on mittens. Cold. Very cold.
In the garden the teacher says:
- What to do? We have two Kolyas.
Mine says:
- Call me, Nikolai first...
My five-year-old son is standing in the bathroom, looking at his “household” and
says thoughtfully:
- I understand - here it is, the end of the spine...
Anton (6.5 years old) asks:
- Mom, I forgot, cows, sheep, chickens, geese - in one word
are they called? Cattle or bastards?
Daughter:
- Dad, when the renovation is finished, how old will I be?
My younger sister One day I decided to call my father at work:
- Hello! Is this dad's job? Call dad!
The other day I found my “diary of young Natasha-mama.”
“My son is 15 months old (now 5.5 years old). I can't ride in public
transport, because I'm dying of laughter. Let's go in and sit down, son.
chooses a nearby one young man, smiles sweetly and says:
- Dad!
Many “papas” got off at the nearest stop...”
I was walking with my son (2 years old) in the park and saw twins. Seeing them and
looking at it in surprise for a long time, he says:
- Where is mine?!
Mother:
- Yes, Veronica, we probably spoiled you... We’ll have to
punish!
- How is it that you spoiled me and punished me?
A daughter has been begging for a brother or sister from relatives for a long time.
Mom explains to her:
- Well, understand, dear, dad is on a flight, he won’t arrive soon, and without dad we can’t have a child.
But the girl was quickly found:
“On the contrary, let’s start it now, and dad will come, and we’ll tell him: “Surprise!”
I bought myself a silver set (bracelets and a ring) on an ancient Egyptian theme. My daughter (4 years old) looks attentively, then asks:
- Mom, is this Ancient Egypt?
- Yes, daughter.
Husband asks:
- Daughter, how do you know that this is Ancient Egypt? What if this is Ancient China?
- Dad, this is your watch - ancient china, and my mother has Ancient Egypt.
Away. Adults are modest. The hostess says:
- Why don’t you eat at all? Help yourself, isn't it delicious?
A child (4.5 years old) comes out and loudly says:
“You are not at home here, eat what they give you!”
I brought the phrase from kindergarten...
I scolded my son (5 years old) for something. He sat down on the floor, took out paper, pencils, and “sulked” at me:
“Then I’ll draw you fat!”
My husband and I got married when our youngest third son was 3 years old. Well, before everything somehow never got around to it. Once upon a time we had everything.
A couple of weeks before the actual event, the middle son (9 years old) asks:
- Mom, why are you always fussing with Anya (his godmother), running somewhere all day long, what kind of carnival dress did you bring?
Anya laughs:
“Tolik, it’s your mother who’s lost her mind and is getting married.”
Tolik is dumbfounded like this:
- Does dad know?
A friend tried to teach her son to sleep in the nursery. He fell asleep with his parents, she took him to the children's room. About 15 minutes later he returns and goes back to bed with his parents. His mother took him back to the nursery. He's back again. She carries him to the “place” for the third time, and in his sleep he:
- Well, how long will we run like this?!
I took my youngest daughter to work with me. She walked and wandered around there and went into the director’s office. I sit and hear them talking about something, and the little one proudly reports:
- And my mother can still grunt!
My daughter asks me:
- Mom, what time was I born?
I told her:
- At twelve at night.
And she scared me:
- Oh, I probably woke you up?!
Grandmother is enthusiastically watching a fashion show on TV. Anton (4 years old):
- Grandma, what is evening dress?
Grandmother, without looking up from the screen:
- Well, Antoshka, imagine that a girl puts on her most elegant dress, a boy puts on his most beautiful suit...
Anton interrupts impatiently:
“And they go poop together?”
At our grandmother’s dacha there is a simple “hole in the floor” toilet.
When Anya had to use it, she asked to be held by the hand. At the same time she kept repeating:
- Just hold me tightly. You remember, after all, that I am your favorite girl in the world?
I’m watching the news, my son runs in and shouts:
- Oh, Medvedev!
I ask:
— Do you know who Medvedev is?
- Yes - Putin.
The wife went to the maternity hospital for safekeeping. I, my son Svyatoslav (4 years old) and my son Egor (2 years old) remained at home. I only know how to cook pasta. So, I cooked some pasta for them and added a little salt. Saint came running first and tried it. Without saying anything, he leaves the table. Goes to the nursery. At the door he meets Yegor, going to eat, takes him by the hand, takes him to the nursery and says:
- Egor, don’t eat. You are my only brother so far...
I had to invite my mother.
We went to the store and left the car under a tree. While we were walking, a flock of birds flew in and pretty much shit on the roof and hood. I had to take the car to a car wash and wash it until it was clean. After washing my son looked at the car and said:
- Well, the birds will look at the car and say: “They pooped, pooped and all in vain!”
A son at the zoo asks his father:
- Dad, if a tiger breaks out of the cage and eats you, what bus should I take home?
Leva is 6 years old. Let's go with him to a neurologist. Lyovka is capricious - he is tired of the doctors. I tell him:
“This doctor won’t do anything to you, he’ll only talk.”
- That's all?
- Well, maybe he’ll knock with a hammer, but it won’t hurt.
We've arrived, let's go in. Doctor:
- Hello, Lyovushka!
- Hello! Well, where is your axe?!
We hope that we have cheered you up, smile more often!
