School is a new, important and responsible stage in a child's life. At the lessons, he not only gains knowledge, but also learns to work. Classes in classes with other children bring up diligence in children and the ability to systematize the information received.
The ability to study independently and do homework is very important for a student. Parents need to guide their children in the right direction and teach them responsibility.Homework plays an important role in this learning process. However, the home atmosphere is very different from that which is present at school. Firstly, at home, the baby can be distracted from lessons for other classes, and secondly, there is no such control factor as grades, because parents will not put a deuce. Plus, the textbook is always at hand and you can peek into it without fear of punishment. Such a free environment has two sides of the coin. It contributes to the inculcation of interest in learning and knowledge, but at the same time it is dangerous because it can lead to irresponsibility.
Activities with a child at home
First of all, it should be understood that the modern school is very different from those schools in which the older generation studied. Currently, the school learning process is structured in such a way that parents need to devote some time to helping their child complete tasks. There are 3 main areas where additional intervention is required from moms and dads:
- Explanation of the material. The child does not always immediately understand everything in class, and sometimes does not listen to everything. The first step is to explain the missing and misunderstood points in the topic under study.
- Performance homework. Here, control is needed so that the student is engaged in lessons, and not just bored with a notebook.
- Checking lessons. You should always review how your child has done their homework.
When the baby begins to attend school, many parents rely on the fact that in it the teachers themselves will convey everything to the students and educate them. However, there are usually about thirty people in the class, and it is simply impossible to control whether everyone has mastered everything. As a result, either the parents themselves or the tutor can explain to him what he could not understand in the lesson. In one way or another, the responsibility for this falls on the shoulders of the parents.
A modern school heavily loads children with homework, so it’s worth supporting the child, especially in the first two years of study, but it’s absolutely impossible to do homework for him When studying with a child at home, it is important not to be angry that you have to waste your time, and not scold him for not understanding something. It should be borne in mind that it is rather difficult to learn everything in a lesson, because there are many children in the classes at once, and each of them has an individual pace and ability to perceive material. In addition, there is noise and many other distractions. So do not prematurely write off misunderstanding for stupidity or laziness. Most likely, the reason is related to the concentration of attention or the organization of the educational process itself.
Monitoring the implementation of lessons
Control over the student during homework comes down to sitting next to him or periodically coming and checking what he is doing and how things are going. Otherwise, he can quickly switch his attention to an extraneous activity, and then the process can drag on for a long time.
However, according to the experience of many mothers, such constant presence and supervision of the baby is required up to the third grade, after which there is no need for this. This phenomenon is easily explained. The fact is that all children of primary school age have a deficit of voluntary attention. This is not a disease, it's just the way a child's brain works. Over time, the child outgrows it. With age, he will become more assiduous, more attentive and more focused.
As for the popular diagnosis of “ADHD (H)”, which sounds like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it can be attributed to at least half of the children in the first and third grades. Treatment in this case is not required, but it is necessary to organize optimal conditions for doing homework. In the future, this will help to avoid scandals throughout the entire time of study within the walls of the school.
The degree of control over how the baby does homework depends on his age. It is very important to establish a clear regime and procedure for first-graders and second-graders after returning home from school. First, a short rest for an hour or an hour and a half. During this time, the child will already have enough rest from class activities, but will not yet have time to get tired or get very excited, playing and having fun. Children should get used to the fact that they need to do their homework every day.
If the child attends other extra-curricular activities, for example, if he plays sports, dances or drawing, you can postpone the lessons to a later time. However, do not leave them for the evening. For students on the second shift, the ideal time to do their homework is in the morning.
The process of adaptation to school can last up to six months. At this stage, parents should help the crumbs so that he adheres to the new routine. Several useful tips that will make homework more effective:
- A certain rhythm of work. For example, take a 5-10 minute break every 25 minutes.
- By the second year of study, it is necessary to teach the child to independently distribute his time. From now on, the parent only joins if the child asks for help. Otherwise, you can make the baby think that mom or dad will do everything instead of him.
- The priority of education. When a child sits down to do homework, nothing should distract him from this, neither a request to take out the trash, nor cleaning his room. All this can be postponed until later.
In the lower grades, the child has not yet adapted, is not used to doing homework. He needs to take breaks from work middle and high school
As children get older, they tend to manage their own time. To do this, they already remember well what, to what extent and when it was given. However, for some reason, not all students cope with homework. There are a number of reasons and explanations for this:
- Too much load that the baby can not cope with. In modern school institutions, a fairly large volume is set at home, as a result of which even additional extracurricular activities lead to overload. Of course, extra-curricular activities, like art lessons or courses foreign language, are necessary for a more complete development of the baby, but it is very important that they are not under duress and do not have the character of a duty. The child should enjoy classes and relax on them from the school load. In addition, it is desirable not to set time limits for the implementation of lessons. You should simply teach your child to set realistic goals that he can achieve.
- To attract attention. Constant reproaches, quarrels and scandals will only encourage bad behavior. This is especially true in cases where the baby gets attention only as a result of disobedience or fault. Praise is the first step to ensure that the child can learn to do everything on his own.
- Knowing what lessons will do for him. Often the child is simply in no hurry to do the homework himself, as he understands that one of the parents, in the end, will sit next to him and help. On the part of the parents, help should be to direct the train of thought of the crumbs in the right direction and simply explain the task, and not solve it.
Quick and sloppy homework
It is quite common that a student wants to do homework faster in order to free up time for games and walks. The task of parents for some period is to regularly check the quality of the work performed. Do not resort to punishment for poorly done lessons. It is better to find out from the child the reason why this happened. It is necessary to make it clear that only after completing homework, he will be able to do things to his liking.
If a child is accustomed to the correct daily routine from the very beginning of the learning process, then doing homework will not become an insurmountable task. It is also important not to tie the baby to grades, but to instill a love for knowledge, since they should be his priority. From the words and actions of the parents, the child must conclude that regardless of his grades and the opinions of the teachers, he will always be loved. The realization of this is a good reason for diligence and diligence in studies.
Basic principles for doing homework
After the parents managed to teach the child to do homework on their own, without tantrums and orders, they should master simple rules work at home. They will help to avoid the return of problems with the implementation of lessons. These principles are:
- Mode and rest. After class, the student should have time to rest, at least an hour, so that he can eat and relax without haste. Ideally, if the baby will always do homework at the same time. Plus, 10 minute breaks are needed in the process so that the child does not overwork.
- Do the hard work first. In addition, it is better to teach the student to first write everything in a draft. Only after the adult checks the task, he will be able to rewrite the task in a notebook. Also, trust the baby more and do not control the whole process. The child will definitely appreciate it.
- If errors are found during verification, it is important to first praise the baby for his work, and then delicately point out them. Thus, the child is calmly perceived by his mistakes and encouraged in him the desire to correct them on his own.
- During classes, you should never raise your voice to a child, criticize or call him names. This will lead to a loss of respect and trust in parents.
- Due to the complexity of the material given in the modern school, it is better for mothers and fathers to study in advance the topic in which they are unsure in order to explain it to the child in a quality manner, if necessary.
- Do not do homework for the baby. It is worth helping only in difficult situations, and he must decide, write and draw himself. The main thing is that he acquires knowledge, and a good grade is a secondary matter.
It is important not to refuse to help the child, even with other plans. Parents are responsible for children, and it is they who need to organize the daily routine and motivate him to study.
Punishing for inattention is wrong, as this is an age-related property that the student still does not know how to control. Forcing them to do homework is also not the best approach. It is better to explain the significance of the knowledge gained in an accessible way.
Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in Clinical Psychology
A small child is easy to motivate. “You will be the strongest if you eat this porridge”, “I will read you a fairy tale if you take away your toys.” That is, parents set the direction for the child's actions, endowing them with awareness. In other words, children understand that if they do as adults dictate to them, they will receive something as a result of their obedience (a fairy tale, the right to take a walk, mother's love). Material motivation is very popular today: “I will give you 10 rubles if you take out the trash.” Psychologists, not seeing a crime in it in principle, nevertheless note that external motivation (as they call it) kills internal motivation, which is much more important in the process of becoming a child's character. In other words, a child should be motivated (especially over the age of 3-5 years) in such a way that, in addition to the promised reward, he still understands the true essence and purpose of his actions. If he starts to force himself to do something (knowing why), he will begin to form such a character trait as willpower. It is very important.
The child does not want to clean up scattered toys? Do not rush to yell at him and upset yourself. Calm down and in the form of a game make the child fulfill your desire. The game should have characters, one of which should be played by your baby. In this role, the child usually willingly cleans up after himself. And also quickly dresses for a walk, eats, washes dishes. older child- "more serious" games. From the group role-playing games you can go to the group didactic games(i.e. entertaining actions for the child in conditional situations), sports and even manipulation games.
As soon as you enter the room and see the mess, you start yelling for the child to clean up immediately. Or you just sat and calmly watched TV, and now, looking at the clock, tell the child that he should immediately go to bed. It is not right. Children should be warned that they need to clean up (and if the child has not finished playing, give him time to complete the game), that it is time to get ready for bed, etc. Your demands for momentary obedience and the fulfillment of your orders (and even requests) can provoke an attack of stubbornness and even hatred.
You remind the child countless times to clean up scattered toys, threaten to throw them in the garbage chute, the child does not obey. After reminding him about the mess a hundred times, you tidy up yourself with a sigh. This is repeated day after day. And it will continue to repeat itself if one day you do not fulfill your threat and really do not throw away the toys. Cruel? But clearly. Children have a very good memory, psychologists say, they remember such lessons very well and for a long time. Almost forever.
You must give your child the right to choose. For example, he does not want to brush his teeth. Give him a choice of 2 toothbrushes and 2 toothpastes. Or let him choose for himself which story to read to him at night, which handkerchief to take in the morning, drink tea with one or two spoons of sugar, tidy up right now or in half an hour. For you, his choice means nothing in principle, and the child will feel that he is the master of the situation.
In an ideal world, parents are always patient educators, and children are obedient, and always do right choice. But we don't live in an ideal world, so parents need a range of strategies to keep us mentally healthy when patience is at a premium.
Manipulating children is bad, but there are a number of situations in which it is necessary to force a child to do what you want him to do.
Here are some strategies to help you get your way:
1. Offer a bad choice
My mom, a retired pediatrician, used to ask me or my siblings when we were little if we wanted a belt. This is one of those tricks of creating a false choice. Although it quickly loses its effectiveness, and besides, older or smarter children, of course, will immediately understand what the catch is, but in some cases (for example, you need to choose between a belt and medicine), children will choose the lesser of two evils.
As an alternative to this technique, you can offer two equivalent choices. For example: “We need to clean up before the party, what do you want to do: wash the dishes or clean the room?”. Both of these strategies make the child feel like they are making a choice, even though the options are not exactly what they would like.
2. Try to disguise what you need as what your child loves.
Parents of not-so-active eaters sometimes object to adding healthy and wholesome ingredients to candy and all the things kids love to eat. Is your child refusing to eat spinach? Prepare it in the form of a cake. (Jessica Seinfeld has a book of "deceptively delicious" recipes.) You can also try letting the kids add their own secret ingredients to make the meals more varied.
In any case, sometimes it happens that you do not directly tell the children what is good for them. It's interesting how creative parents can be when they try to turn daily chores into a game, such as boring daily housework or shopping to add an element of fun (like the game scavenger hunt, which means that in a certain period of time you need to find the maximum number items). Add an element of fun and your kids will help you.
3. Make them hostages of technology
Do you want a Wi-Fi password?
- Make your bed
- Vacuum the first floor
No matter how much time your kids spend in front of the TV or computer screen, you can always use it to your advantage. Do what you have to do first, then get Wi-Fi.
4. Praise them and let them win
Praise doesn't seem like such an effective lever in controlling a child's behavior at first glance, but by constantly running some family competitions (where the child wins and at the same time does what you need), you can inspire the child to a lot. For example, come up with a tradition where the first person to get dressed in the morning gets to choose what everyone eats for breakfast, which is kind of manipulative but fun at the same time. (For everyone except Mom and Dad, who will have to eat cake and candy every time the kid wins.)
Like all other people, children love when they succeed, and you can use this to your advantage. Just remind them how well they've been behaving recently, and they might enjoy the praise and want to earn it again.
5. Control their weaknesses and fears
To manipulate is to know where it tickles and use it for your own purposes. Being a parent is the same, only you have to use it to make things better for yourself and your child. For example, if you know what TV show your child likes, you can tell him that he can only watch it if he gets up early. It still amazes me how much can be achieved from my daughter (brush your teeth, give a presentation, finally go to bed).
For advanced manipulation, you can use those techniques that work for adults. For example, make a person feel guilty or scare him to death. However, do not get carried away with such tricks, after all, these are still children (and in many ways they can even give odds to their parents), but the easiest way is to relax and just watch your children grow up.
Being a Lazy Mom with a naughty child is very difficult. After all, it takes a lot of time and effort to agree with the baby about the simplest things. And with obedient children, everything becomes much easier, and you do not have to participate in disputes for any reason.
It is unpleasant to say this, but you need to start the changes with yourself, since only a calm and confident mother can make a child obey the first time. In addition, you need to listen to the child and feel his needs. How exactly to do this, I will tell in the article.
How to make a child obey
Recently, there have been big problems with obedience in children. In modern realities, when they are greatly pampered, it is quite difficult to keep the child within the bounds of what is permitted. Why is this happening?
Now the idea of permissiveness of children is being actively promoted. Toddlers up to about 2 years old are not forbidden anything, they are not given tasks, and in general they are almost never brought up. Therefore, by the age of 3-4, it is not surprising that the child does not obey adults. Although there are other reasons: conflicting instructions, discrepancy between the requirements for the age of the child, etc.
How to make a child obey?
The first step is to understand that in no case should you resort to physical punishment. After a few spanks, the child will actually fulfill your request. When in the future he will be capricious, one mention of physical violence will make him calm down. And everything looks great - the system works.
But in fact, the child does not become "obedient", he is simply afraid of you. I am sure that you would not want to cause horror and fear in a child. In addition to your relationship now, this whole situation will affect the future of the child. Physical punishment, pent-up resentment and anger at you are sure to surface in adolescence in the form of rebellion. Or vice versa, the child will completely immerse himself in himself, become inert, downtrodden and unsure of himself.
No matter how the situation develops, a downtrodden child will not grow up happy. Therefore, the physical impact is not immediately!
Learn to talk with your child, negotiate, and then you don't have to resort to a belt.
How to talk to a child correctly?
A lot depends on how and what you say to your baby. To begin with, you should pay attention to the volume - if you constantly speak in raised tones, the child ceases to perceive the meaning of the phrases. Remember how you felt when your boss or saleswoman scolded you in a raised voice. Even if this is well-deserved criticism, there is anger and resentment at screaming man.
- Make eye contact. Children concentrate on only one task, so until you attract his attention to you, he may simply not hear your phrases. That's right: squat in front of the child, touch your hand so that he looks at you, and look into your eyes. Call by name and repeat your request.
- Short and clear assignments especially if you are talking to a child under 4 years of age. It is difficult for them to remember and perform a sequence of actions. Therefore, instead of the monosyllabic “take off your jacket and shoes, wash your hands and sit down at the table,” issue tasks gradually. First, “take off your jacket and shoes” when “wash your hands” is done, and only after that, “sit down at the table.”
- Too long speeches. Parents love to bring up past missteps when they chastise a child or ask them to stop something. And it is difficult for children to grasp what the phrase “Did you forget how you fell off the couch last time and had to go to the hospital? Get off now, otherwise the situation will repeat itself and you will cry.” It’s correct to say succinctly: “You can’t jump on the couch - it’s dangerous.” In this case, the main message will be received.
- indirect instructions. Kids take all the phrases literally, so they don’t see the instructions for action in the question “Are you going to get out of the puddle?”. Do not overestimate the skills of children, because they are only learning the language and do not understand much. Speak directly and unequivocally: "get out of the puddle."
- The use of NOT negation. Children often miss the negative message “don’t”, and instead of “don’t get into the puddle”, they hear the invitation “get into the puddle”. Instead, it's better to offer another interesting alternative: "Let's go around the puddle so as not to get our new shoes dirty."
- Constant pulling. Some anxious mothers take care of the child so much that throughout the day they warn the baby about the danger: “do not stumble on the threshold”, “get around the evil dog”, “do not step into the puddle”, “do not drop the mug” ... Over time, the child ceases to perceive these phrases , taking them for "background noise". Reduce the number of remarks to the minimum necessary, just walk next to him and belay in dangerous moments.
- Inability to hear the child. Being with a child 24 hours 7 days a week, many mothers begin to pass out. They seem to be next to the baby, but immersed in their thoughts, talking on the phone and not hearing their child. Over time, the baby begins to copy this behavior, ignoring your instructions. Instead, set the right example by taking a moment away from washing the dishes to listen to the child's story. Keep up the conversation, clarify something, then the baby will be more attentive to your words.
In addition, listen to your words. It is necessary to focus not on the child and how bad he is, but on his feelings.
Wrong phrase: You are so selfish! Stop yelling, let's go now! Shut up now, I'm ashamed of you in front of others».
Correct phrase: I understand that you are tired. Now I will pay for the purchase and go home. I will read a book and you will rest. Now please, if you want to scream, do it, please, be quiet - it's hard for me to concentrate.».
You can focus on your feelings:
Wrong phrase: I'm ashamed of your behavior in front of others."- so you show that the opinion of others more important than a child.
Correct phrase: It's hard for me to be with you, my head hurts from screaming a".
Observe what you say and how these phrases can be understood by the child. Then it will be easier for you to find with him mutual language.
How to make a child obey the first time
Teaching a baby obedience is not so easy and fast. After all, there is no magic pill suitable for every child. And it's not a robot that can blindly follow orders. But still, there are certain tips that teach a child to obey their parents the first time.
Every child has their own approach. So try different methods and find the right one.
So, let's look at the basic techniques to teach a child to obey:
- Minimum bans. When a child during the day only hears “no”, “don’t get in”, “get away”, he ceases to obey. Therefore, try to use prohibition phrases only as a last resort when he is doing something serious. Instead, secure the play area, remove dangerous and fragile items, and be close to your child to distract him from dangerous play or stop him in time.
- Unity in the family. Be sure to develop certain rules in the family that under no circumstances should be violated. If the father allows and the mother forbids, it is difficult for the child to follow the instructions. After all, if the parents disagreed on one issue, then you can not obey in others.
- Unequivocal prohibitions. Do not change your view of any prohibitions so as not to confuse the child's guidelines. If you said “one last ride on the hill, and then we go home,” then you need to keep your word. Once or twice the child will be able to persuade you to stay, and then he will repeat this technique constantly. Only more confidently, because he knows that this method allows you to achieve what you want.
- Encourage your child's initiative. Children love to help adults, imitate them and be useful. Do not ruin this desire in the bud. If a two year old wants to wash his dishes, let him do it and praise him. And when he can't see, just rewash. If the child voluntarily performs one task, then it will be easier with others.
- Consider age features . You can’t demand from a 3-year-old child to sit still during, because energy is seething in them and it needs to be released. Also, at the age of 3, a crisis begins, and a ban is placed on all mom's proposals. Therefore, study information about crises, skills and abilities by age. Only when you understand your child will he obey you.
- Carry out threats. Many adults intimidate the child with empty or irrelevant threats “if you don’t eat, I’ll pour it on your head”, “if you don’t go for a walk now, we won’t go for a walk at all!”. At first, such a trick will pass, and the children will obey, but if after the failure to comply with the “order” the punishment is not received, the fear will disappear. So watch your threats and carry them out. Of course, this is not about physical punishment. Indeed, in addition to them, there is, and a separate article for. For such crumbs, thinking works differently, so you need to educate them differently.
- Give the opportunity to choose. If the child has only prohibitions and instructions, sooner or later he may start a riot on the ship. To make a child obey and obey, it is enough to create at least the illusion of choice. “Shall we take a duck or a whale into the bath?”, “Will you go to the hospital in a black T-shirt or a yellow one?”, “Would you like a carrot or a pot?”, “Who will sleep with you from toys today?”.
- Consistency in learning. If you want your child to do something on his own, you need to teach him. First, do the task together (parents and child), then draw instructions and prompt if the child has difficulties, then he does it on his own. Be sure to go through all these steps and do not leave your baby in front of difficulties.
- Play, don't give orders. It is much easier to get a child to obey if you offer to do something interesting. Don't "put the toys away", but "put the toys in this basket". Or add a competitive element: don’t “leave the cars, let’s go eat,” but “let’s see whose car gets to the kitchens faster.” Think about how you can beat your task so that the child himself wants to complete it.
- Reward, but not with money. Monetary incentives are used very actively, but it is better to let them watch a cartoon, give something tasty, go to rides, etc. instead. Make it clear that obedience is rewarded. Be sure to praise the child, but watch the sincerity in your voice. Children feel false. Hug, kiss, although this child should receive not only for obedient behavior, but just because he is.
- Set a good example. All your requirements, prohibitions, notations are useless if you do not follow them yourself. The phrases “don’t snap” and “don’t be rude” are useless if you constantly swear at your husband or allow yourself to communicate in a rude way with your child. Children copy the behavior of their parents even in small things, so watch yourself carefully and think - what will my child learn?
If all else fails, see how Dr. Kurpatov helped in a seemingly hopeless case.
And even if you understand how to make a child obey the first time, you do not need to abuse your power. Leave him some freedom, let him defend his opinion, respect their decision and give at least the illusion of choice so that in the future they will not run into problems. Unquestioningly obedient children often grow up subject to other people's influence (drugs, alcohol), lack of initiative (lack of independence, inability to be a leader) and with other psychological problems.
The beginning of the school year for a younger student is a real scourge for many parents and their children. A huge number of worried mothers of first-graders or older children complain that their child does not want to do homework, he is inattentive, lazy, capricious, the child cannot concentrate, and constantly resorts to the help of parents, even if homework is very simple. How to teach a child to do homework on their own, and what if the child does not want to learn lessons at all?
In general, it is necessary to instill in the child independence, responsibility and the habit of doing homework on their own in the first grade. But, if attempts to do this were unsuccessful, it is also impossible to ignore the problem, and categorically. An important caveat - approaches to junior schoolchildren at 6-7 years old and 8-9 years old are somewhat different, although the main stimulus still remains (usually praise).
It is, of course, difficult to force a child to do homework, to teach him to do homework independently and accurately. But you need to try, otherwise today's hassle in the future will seem like "flowers" to you. So be strong, dear moms, and don't let your future genius descend!
. HOW TO TEACH A CHILD TO DO LESSONS IN THE FIRST CLASS?
Well, it's begun! All sorts of "amenities" associated with the enthusiasm of others about the talent and ingenuity of your preschooler, the inspired chores of equipping a first grader, and the celebration of September 1 itself, are a thing of the past. Instead, it turned out that the diligence and desire with which your baby literally recently added numbers, printed out the first words on paper, read sentences, suddenly disappeared somewhere. And doing homework turned into a real nightmare. But what happened, why does the child not want to do homework, where has the desire to learn gone?
. Why does the child not want to do homework?
Educators-psychologists have a very clear opinion on this matter. If a first-grader does not want to learn lessons, this can mean only one thing: the child does not succeed. And there is only one way out - parents should help him and at first do homework with the child together, patiently and sympathetically. But there are some very important psychological points here.
Even if your child has attended Kindergarten or went to special preparatory classes to school, he was never required to do homework every day, simply put, he was simply not used to it. Moreover, involuntary attention and memory - when a child can memorize the contents of almost an entire book without noticing it - begin to fade, and just at six or seven years old. But arbitrariness - the ability to force oneself to do something by an effort of will - is just beginning to take shape. Therefore, your first-grader is now completely unsweetened, and laziness has absolutely nothing to do with it. Which exit?
If the child does not want to do homework, parents should introduce a certain mode. Determine with him a specific time when exactly he will sit down to do homework. It may be quite a different time in different days, especially if the first-grader has additional loads - circles, sections, etc.
Of course, after school you should relax, and not just have lunch. Be sure to take into account the intra-family schedule - the child should not sit at home when dad comes home from work, or grandma comes to visit, or you and your younger brother or sister go to the playground, and so on. In this case, the child cannot concentrate, and it will be extremely difficult to force the child to do homework, he may even be offended and say “I don’t want to learn homework.” And by the way, he will be absolutely right - why study should become akin to punishment for him, it is so difficult for him, he tries, and he is also punished for it!
If this is provided for, then it is absolutely impossible to deviate from the schedule without a good reason. Otherwise, there should be penalties, the installation of which you also need to agree with the child in advance. Surely, this will come down to depriving him of some personal pleasures, for example, “weaning” from a computer, TV, and so on. It is not advisable to deprive attendance of trainings and walks in the fresh air, since your baby has already begun to move much less and spends a lot of time indoors since the beginning of the school year.
It is best to do homework with a child after an hour and a half after returning from school, so that the baby has time to rest from classes, but not too overexcited or tired of playing with friends and home entertainment. The intellectual activity of children increases after a small physical activity- this is scientific fact, so he needs to play after school, but only in moderation.
As soon as the first grader comes home from school, help him put textbooks and notebooks out of his portfolio. Fold them neatly on the left corner of the table - you will shift them to the right corner later, as you complete your homework. You can open a notebook and a textbook in advance - it is always easier to continue any work than to start it.
When the appointed time comes, ask the child to remember what was given at home. It is important that he knows that this also applies to him, despite the fact that his mother has everything written down anyway. If the child at least partially remembered, it is necessary to praise him.
If a first-grader is unable to write numbers or letters, a simple trick can help - playing at school, where your child will be a teacher and you will be a student. Let him “teach” you to write numbers or letters: you graduated from school a long time ago and managed to “forget” something. Let him first write with his finger in the air, pronouncing his actions aloud in detail, and only then write it down in a notebook. While writing, the child should be silent, as babies hold their breath when they try and cannot speak.
It is very useful to sculpt numbers and letters from plasticine, learn to recognize them by touch. You can display them on a tray with cereal, a finger in the sand, etc. If the child cannot concentrate and gets tired quickly, there is no point in insisting on continuing classes. It is better to announce a short break - five minutes, give the task to jump 10 times, or, for example, crawl under a chair. The main thing is not to get carried away, the number of exercises should be strictly limited, otherwise you will quickly lose control over the situation and will not be able to force the child to do homework again.
If reading is difficult for the baby, try to attach leaflets with syllables and short words written in different fonts different color turned "upside down", sideways. This will help you unconsciously learn to recognize letters and develop automatism when reading.
To teach a child to do homework on his own, teach him to use dictionaries, encyclopedias and reference books. Ask him what this or that word means, pretend that you do not know him and ask the child for help. Trying to cope with the task without outside help and find answers to all questions on their own, the baby learns to think rationally, thoughtfully. And, besides, the information learned in this way is remembered much better than the answers provided “on a silver platter”.
If the child still does not want to do homework, you need to fundamentally change the approach. Be wiser, include "cunning" and "helplessness": "Help me, please. I can’t read something in any way ... ”,“ Something in my handwriting has completely deteriorated. Remind me how to write this letter beautifully ... ". Not a single child can resist such an approach. And of course, thank and praise him more often! Even for the smallest achievement is the main key to success!
. HOW TO FORCE A JUNIOR STUDENT TO DO THE LESSONS?
Unfortunately, the fact that students in the lower grades tell their parents “I don’t want to learn homework”, do not want to do homework on their own and constantly seek the help of their parents, even if the homework is very simple, is not uncommon. At the same time, these same children can be happy to help around the house, go to the store, and work with younger children in the family. Parents are at a loss - it seems that the child is not lazy, which means that it is impossible to explain his attitude to homework by simple laziness, but it is also impossible to ignore the problem with lessons. What to do? First of all, you need to find the real reason why the child does not want to do homework.
HOW ARE THINGS AT SCHOOL? The most important thing is to understand in time how your child's relationship develops at school - with peers, with a teacher. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for children, faced with the first failures, and being ridiculed by classmates and having met the indifference of the mentor (this happens quite often in our time), begin to experience fear, fear the next mistakes. Such feelings and emotions can be so strong that the child cannot concentrate, unable to cope with them.
Children cannot explain, and often do not understand, what exactly is happening to them, but the behavior changes significantly. The main task of parents is to recognize the negative situation as soon as possible and immediately take appropriate measures. Of particular danger is the fact that the child closes in on himself from such fears, “disconnects” from the world around him, becomes somewhat inhibited. At the same time, he can look outwardly absolutely normal, serene and calm, but this impression is deceptive. No one but you knows your baby so well as to notice something wrong in time and correctly interpret it.
If such a psychological trauma is not eliminated in a timely manner, it can develop into a school neurosis, as psychologists call it, which can be fraught with a nervous breakdown and various psychosomatic ailments. What should parents do in such cases? First of all, you need to show restraint and patience, calm the child and help him. You should do homework with the child, even when you are sure that he can easily cope on his own and can do homework on his own. In no case do homework for him, just be a support for him, encourage, praise - give him the opportunity to make sure that he succeeds.
DIFFICULT JOBS. There are situations in which the reluctance to do homework on their own is due to their objective difficulty. For example, at these times, the child may well not have developed logical thinking. In this case, he simply does not consider it necessary to do something that he does not understand. And your attempt to force the child to learn the lessons will only introduce him into even more confusion and provoke defiance.
Which exit? Parents need to follow the reasoning of their student about the progress of solving the task, so they can understand exactly where the difficulties arise. You can not get angry and scold the child for what he does not understand. You should teach the child, help him, explain with examples, and only then wait for him to be able to do his homework on his own. He, of course, thinks and thinks, only he does it a little differently, and in a different way than you - does not mean it is not true.
LACK OF ATTENTION. It happens that a child does not want to do homework, refuses to do homework just because in this way it is easiest to attract the attention of parents. AT this case his "do not want to learn lessons" means that he feels lonely, feels a lack of parental care and affection. Then he instinctively tries to solve this problem, and since he is a smart kid, he understands that poor academic performance will cause parents concern and increased attention to him. That is why he does not want to do his homework, on purpose, and perhaps unconsciously, he "flops" his studies.
The way out is simple - surround the child with due attention and care. Moreover, it does not have to be joint homework, rather the opposite. If you want to teach your child to do homework on their own, encourage him to actively communicate for his efforts. But this must also be done wisely so that the child does not develop the feeling that your love can only be earned, he must know that you love him even when he fails and nothing works out.
LAZINESS AND IRRESPONSIBILITY. Unfortunately, it also happens that a child does not want to do homework simply because he is lazy and irresponsible in his studies. It is unrealistically difficult to make him learn lessons, and when he succeeds, the quality is very bad, done “anyhow”, if only they “left behind” him. The blame for this lies entirely with the parents, who did not bring up in time in the child a sense of responsibility for their own actions and deeds. But now it is not too late, so correct the situation that has arisen, do not be lazy to educate your child yourself.
Explain to him that he is studying not for his parents, not for grades, but for himself first of all. If he received a “deuce” at school for an unfulfilled task, do not reproach him and do not scold him - he must explain himself for what reason he received a bad mark. Ask him this question - show patience and calmness - this will make the child analyze his own actions, and it will probably be awkward for him to explain himself, so next time he will prefer to learn the lessons.
In some cases, it will not be superfluous to use punishments, for example, for unfinished homework and deprive some of life's values of deuces. For example, to introduce a ban on playing on a computer, or going to the cinema, and so on - you know better what exactly he prefers to study and appreciates especially highly. The child should know about this, and then let him decide for himself what is more important for him. Just do not cancel your own decisions - feeling weak, he will begin to boycott you in everything, and not just in school.
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Children studying in primary school Schools require limitless patience and increased attention. Here, unfortunately, nothing can be done - this is a fact, you need to come to terms with it. Do not leave children alone with their problems, this can have bad consequences. Be caring, attentive and patient - the baby will grow up and everything will work out, and problems will bypass!
Yana Lagidna, especially for the site
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