In the modern world, one can increasingly hear such a definition as an infantile personality. Many people think that this is due to the fact that modern world encourages the cult of youth, and a person remains too long a "child", not in a hurry to take responsibility.
The concept of "infantile person" in psychology
It is believed that infantilism is a sign of a certain immaturity of personal development, when there is no ability to make timely, carefully considered decisions, naivety in everyday life persists, and there is no desire for independence.
According to psychologists, infantile person combines several distinct qualities:
As a person grows older, he makes mistakes, experiences pain, grows spiritually, overcomes doubts. What this means is inaccessible to an infantile person, since he constantly finds people who can become a support and protect him from an unpleasant reality, as if his parents did.
How to get rid of infantilism
It is quite difficult to recognize such traits in yourself. Others may point to signs of infantility, but the person himself usually does not believe in this.
But if doubt still crept into the soul, you can try to grow up, resorting to the following tips:
- Need to learn to accept independent solutions. You should start small. When you hear someone's opinion, you should not immediately agree with it. You must first think about the words and try to formulate your own attitude to the issue.
- Adult means responsible. To gradually develop this quality in yourself, you need to master the science of taking responsibility for some small decisions, at the same time learning the ability to admit mistakes and apologize for them.
- You need to focus on one thing and achieve a high degree of skill in it. Not necessarily a job, you can find an exciting hobby. The method associated with changes in life is recognized as the most effective. For example, you can move away from your parents and start living on your own.
- The best solution is the help of a psychologist. To get rid of the problem, it is necessary to identify its causes. Most often they are associated with childhood: parents too adored the child or, on the contrary, were sure that he was a loser, showed distrust of his abilities or took care of him, not allowing him to take a step on his own.
If at a young age a person prone to infantilism does not have to strain to get an appropriate environment, over the years it will become more and more difficult to do this.
Disappointed modern spouses are much less likely to agree to drag an overgrown child on their shoulders. Therefore, there is a risk of being alone.
Among adults, there are quite a lot of those who like to remember their childhood years. In childhood, everyone has positive moments in which they want to return and live them as if anew. Immersed in memories, I want to relive the first discoveries. But here's what to do to a person who could not overcome the boundaries of childhood and now he lives like overgrown child? Is infantilism a problem of modern people or a motive for development?
What does infantile mean?
An infantile person has an undeveloped psyche. The behavior of such a person is immature. Infantile people are not ready to act independently, they transfer responsibility to others and they most often do not have a life goal. They try not to change themselves or their behavior.
What is infantilism?
Infantilism means adult personality disorder. These people act like children. In psychology, the problem of infantility is becoming more and more common, and such behavior greatly affects a person’s life, leading to problems in relation to others.
Types of infantilism
- Psychological infantilism- delayed psychological growth in childhood. The mental qualities of a child are formed slowly and are inferior to age, but this is not related to mental development.
- Physiological infantilism- impaired development during pregnancy. The cause may be oxygen starvation or infection of the fetus.
Features of infantilism
Infantilism in the lives of men and women can manifest itself in relation to their health, friends, parents, and work. The thinking and character of infantile people will not differ much from the behavior of a child and is often also called childishness. Features of infantilism may appear all together or partially:
Lack of desire to make independent decisions
Infantes are in no hurry to take on cases in which it is necessary take personal responsibility. They seek to shift this responsibility first to their parents, then to friends and acquaintances, and then to their family (if they decide to marry).
Player
Children from a young age game form know our world. Infantile man plays constantly: online games, optional purchases of new things (even if there is no money for them), clubs, concerts, etc.
Infantile man self-centered, he does not like to think and analyze. Because of this, it is difficult for him to communicate with other people, to take into account the interests of others. Such people are often dominated by phrases in conversation: no one loves me, no one respects me, no one understands me. But at the same time, they themselves do not try to change something in themselves in order to understand other people.
The main goal of an infantile person is a carefree life
Features of infantilism are obvious when a girl or guy is always transfers responsibility to someone else. Such a person often puts on a mask of a jester and commits irresponsible acts, entertaining others with his actions. Often, infantile people are the soul of the company, because this role implies the least responsibility. But the inner state can be quite the opposite.
If you look at the social side, then often such people have little income, problems in finding a job, in raising their qualifications.
Infantilism can also manifest itself in a physiological form. Such people may show features in facial expressions.- lowered corners of the lips, contemptuous look, upturned nose, lowered eyebrows.
Where does infantilism come from and its causes
Many psychologists suggest that infantilism in people occurs during their upbringing at the age of 8-15 years. The manifestation of infantilism takes place in the form of manipulations over the older generation (grandmothers, parents), tantrums, bad behavior, irresponsible attitude to their school duties.
Often this behavior comes from upbringing. After all, parents themselves can be infantile. In this case, the children copy the behavior of their parents.
But in addition to infantile adults, children can also be influenced by too caring. Overprotection can turn them into infantile, dependent people. This is due to the fact that such children are deprived of independence. Someone always does everything for them - washes, cooks, buys everything they ask for, does some of the school assignments, decides where to go after school, which circles and sections to go to.
Such concern may manifest itself out of fear for your child. It may look like the total king behind every step of the child. Depriving their child of freedom of choice, parents violate the child's psyche and he becomes withdrawn and can only live in his own world. Even such over-care can lead to the fact that in adulthood a person will not be able to live without constant guardianship. All because he always relies on the opinions of others their loved ones.
Another option for the development of infantilism can be a simple lack of time. It is not always possible to devote a lot of time to your children, but you can simply replace this time with a TV, computer or music. In this case, the child is left without control and can do whatever he wants, because he does not need to be responsible for his actions.
In addition to relatives, the school also affects the psychological state. According to psychologists, the school curriculum provides only general education subjects, and the process of education is practically absent in it. Adolescents learn subjects according to the program, but do not know why all this knowledge is needed and how to use it later to achieve their goals in life. The school does not always provide an opportunity to realize oneself, this is possible only for those who study well and strive for independence. The rest of the children, for whom adults make decisions, become not independent, and in the future may become infantile.
What is noticeable infantilism in children, women and men?
Both women and men can suffer from infantilism. Many experts do not notice the difference between male and female infantilism. Most of the differences lie in different age and social groups. In our case, at first glance it is clear that both a woman and a man can be infantile, but society perceives this differently. For example, if we compare the phrases: "daddy's daughter" on the part of the girl it will have the meaning of a good obedient child, but if they say that "mama's boy is walking," then this means that an adult man is walking down the street, but can't take a step without mom. As a result, a man will most often be condemned in society, and a woman will appear before people as an example to follow.
Infantility in males often coincides with problems at work, unreliability, often they are not able to start a family and fully provide for it. Often they do not pay attention to female infantilism, and sometimes they even push the girl to behave like a child. This happens due to the fact that a man in our society is associated with the earner, it is he who must make the main decisions, provide for the family and be the most important in his family. And a woman in such a relationship can become dependent, dependent. She has her own duties, but she must coordinate them with the head of the family. This is where infantilism is manifested, which is not always noticeable to others.
The manifestation of infantilism in a relationship
Often an infantile person, when communicating with people who are psychologically developed for their age, goes to conflict. This happens because of a different worldview. A formed personality expects from the interlocutor adequate answers to the questions posed. A psychologically immature individual may not understand what is required of him, and as a result, a conflict situation occurs. The circle of his communication will be made up of people who can potentially replace their parents. Communication with the rest of the society will be minimal in order to once again not run into conflict.
Most often, to create a family, an infantile person chooses a chosen one older than himself in age. The chosen one should be in relation to him as new parent. In this connection, there may be a conflict between real parents and chosen ones. In such a struggle, real parents often win, and as a result family is falling apart.
Infantilism - is it good or bad?
In psychology, infantilism is considered a serious problem. After all, this is not a temporary hobby, not a separate view of the world, but a problem that prevents you from growing up and correctly assessing the events around you.
But sometimes, infantile people, due to the lack of restrictions, can become writers, artists, musicians. Their right hemisphere the head works more actively, and it is it that is responsible for dreams, creativity and fantasy.
Is it possible to change an infantile person?
Infantile people themselves understand that they live wrong, but they cannot cope alone. Such a person is very hard to decide on your own they need help to take this step. To begin to change, you need to leave your familiar world of illusions.
If the problem of the development of infantility is noticed in adolescence, it will be easier to correct the matter, but in this case it is better to seek help from a specialist. Psychologists will tell you where to start and how to behave with the child in the future. To exclude the appearance of infantilism, you can choose any of the following paths:
You should also give a few tips that psychologists give to an already adult man or woman:
07/24/2014 by petr8512
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My wife is so infantile that when I
I take a bath - it sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
Infantilism is when the milk on the lips has not dried out, but has already turned sour.
Alexander Ratner
“Adulthood” is a role played more or less convincingly by
adult children. Maturity is another matter - it is impossible to play it.
Alexander Kruglov
How to solve the problem of fathers and children, if fathers are children?
V. M. Khochinsky
Infantilism as a quality of personality - a tendency in adulthood to show immaturity of development, to maintain a world outlook, worldview, character, manners, behavior, etc., characteristic of the child.
You seem to be an adult, but you act like a child. “Nothing like that!… Oh! Look, the swing is free!
Once a simple engineer decided to go on the run! Collected money - went and, of course, lost all the money. The next day I traveled to all my friends, borrowed some money and went to recoup. And again he lost everything to the penny and was very upset. I thought about how to pay off debts, but I didn’t think of it and decided to hang myself. I took a large rope and went into the forest. Just threw the rope, right there Baba Yaga. - What are you going to do? - Yes, like that, they say, and so, - the engineer told her everything - I have no way out. “All this is nonsense,” says Yaga, “I can fix everything!” - What are you asking for? says the engineer. - Yes, I won’t ask for anything - we’ll have sex once and it’s all in the bag, as they say. Well, the engineer, of course, agreed, fulfilled Yagi's whim, and said: - Well, it's done, let's fix my life, return everything as it was. - And how old are you? Baba Yaga asks. - Well, it's already forty-nine, - the engineer answers - And what are you asking? - Oh, you lived so much, saw so much, but you still believe in fairy tales !!!
Infantilism is an ugly manifestation of childish personality traits in adults. No matter how they disguise themselves as male or female personality traits, the ears of clearly visible infantilism still stick out. Infantilism is an unbridled desire to remain in childhood. Who would be against it if infantiles transferred sincerity, joyfulness, susceptibility to life and people, naturalness and immediacy into adult life? But instead of virtue, they drag behind them the rusty anchors of the past in the form of self-centeredness, dependence, impulsiveness, blame-seeking, fickleness, and irresponsibility.
Infantilism - dislike for personal growth, development of the mind, improvement of the personality, the search for one's life purpose and the meaning of life. This is the life position of an ostrich - to turn a blind eye to emerging problems, to ignore life lessons, to brush aside the challenges of life, which involve the manifestation of such personality traits as purposefulness, perseverance, perseverance, constancy and responsibility. Infantilism is the degeneration of a responsible, independent personality, primarily male, with its replacement by an uncle with a “pacifier”. Infantilism is the irreconcilable enemy of growing up.
The first thing that the infantile drags into adulthood is selfishness, mossy from time to time. For a child who does not understand what death is, it is quite natural to think that the whole world exists only to give him joy. He feels like the Center of the Universe. Another thing is an adult who believes that the sun rises only for the sake of waking him up. Infantil believes that those around him exist to take care of him, give him pleasure and give pleasure. An adult with childish consumer psychology, with an overexcited false ego, causes protest moods, irritation and anger in those around him.
Infantilism gravitates toward dependency. It is natural for children to be unable to serve themselves. But when a healthy man (powerful, hairy and smelly) categorically ignores the idea of how to help his wife around the house and shows demonstrative helplessness in all everyday affairs - this is already a clear sign of infantilism.
Infantilism - not a passing passion for games and fun. As she just does not regale herself with toys. These are computer games, and endless sprees with friends - drinking buddies, and the purchase of adult toys (technical innovations, motorcycles, cars). Entertainment is a major part of an infantile's life. Psychologists believe that it is good to have fun with infantile people, and this is how they often endear themselves to other people. The soul of the company, the jovial joker is often an infantile person who finds himself in his element. But as soon as the celebration of life ends, it goes out, disappears from view - until a new entertainment.
An infantile person runs away from decision-making like a vampire from holy water. Decision-making requires determination, self-confidence, willpower. But these are the qualities of a mature person. Infantilism they are not in the court. An adult reasonable person acts on the orders of his mind, which operates in the "Right - wrong" mode. Infantilism is not reasonable. It operates in the mode of a chaotic, lusty mind: "I want", "I like it - I don't like it." Following the path of least resistance, infantilism declares: - Why do I need this hemorrhoids ?!, In scrap.
The qualitative features of infantilism are the refusal to take responsibility for one's own life and the absence of conscious goals and plans for the future.
For a child, life is endless, he thinks of immortality as a natural fact and is ready to dance forever on the green lawn of life. His parents are thinking about his future. The infantile adult also has no conscious plans for the future. According to the famous Russian psychologist V. N. Druzhinin, “we have been given a moment of time and a particle of freedom in order to dispose of our moment, a spark of consciousness that lit up the world. The feeling of time as a resource, “shagreen skin”, decreasing regardless of the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of our desires - this feeling is inherent only in adults who have the opportunity and desire to reflect on life.
Infantilism is a masculine personality trait. Women are much less likely to display this quality. Orientation to the family makes a woman practical, prudent and prudent. Most women, even without knowing about Pierre-Augustin Beaumarchais, clearly follow his advice: "Nature said to a woman: be beautiful if you can, wise if you want, but you must be prudent by all means."
Strange as it may seem, female infantilism manifests itself in the desire to control everything. Psychologist Olga Krasnikova states: “Infantilism is characterized by the so-called inadequate responsibility. What can a person be responsible for? For what he can control and change: his actions, thoughts, feelings, desires, relationships. This is an appropriate responsibility. If I shift my responsibility to others or take responsibility for other people's actions, thoughts, etc., this is inadequate responsibility. So, women who control everything are little girls who are afraid, do not trust the world, and it seems to them, if not them, then who. It is very characteristic of children to feel that they are the cause of everything. Mom and dad are arguing - it's because of him, which means he can do something so that they don't swear. Such an imperious, controlling woman comes to counseling not because she admits that she has a problem. She comes for instructions on what to do to make her loved ones more comfortable for her.”
Often it is in family life the infantilism of the spouses is especially pronounced. Olga Krasnikova: “According to my observations, many spouses like to play “partisans and telepaths”: if you love me, you should guess why I feel bad! And if you didn’t guess, you are to blame for my mood and don’t love me at all! And the other side, playing the “telepath”, does not ask, but tries to guess what is the matter, and believes that yes, it is always he who is to blame for bad mood wives. Both spouses, playing a guessing game instead of talking, act absolutely infantile.
Each of us at least once heard the expression "infantile person." What does such a definition mean? How is infantilism manifested? How to deal with it, and is it worth it, in general?
What it is?
What is infantilism? This is a property of a person, characterized by his psychological immaturity, inability to make serious decisions. There is another term "infantilism", but it differs from infantilism and means an almost pathological condition, involving a delay in the formation of a personality, as well as a discrepancy between a person's behavior and age characteristics.
In fact, an infant is a psychologically unhealthy person, and an infantile person is quite healthy and behaves abnormally for the sake of his comfort.
It is worth noting that infantilism can manifest itself in women, and in men, and in adolescents. It is quite difficult to identify such a trait in a child, since all children, in fact, behave infantile.
Causes
Psychologists believe that infantilism develops in childhood. There may be several reasons for it:
- Overprotective parenting. If mom and dad constantly take care of their child and do not allow him to make decisions and make mistakes on his own, then he will simply get used to the fact that someone always makes important decisions for him, and therefore subsequently he will not be able to make them on his own. "Mama's sons" often become infantile.
- It may be related to a lack of love and care in childhood. The child was left to himself and did not receive parental warmth, but in adulthood he wants to catch up and fancies himself a child whom everyone around should take care of and protect.
- Total control can also lead to the development of infantilism. For example, if a teenager was not allowed to walk and was forced to constantly report for his every step, then he was probably dissatisfied with this state of affairs. And infantilism in this case is a riot. The person seems to be saying with all his behavior: “Did you want to keep everything under control? So, get it!”.
- If the child had to grow up too early and become independent, then for sure he is very offended because of this. And even if the parents showed their love, the child will still be offended by them because they literally took away his carefree and happy childhood. And infantilism will become a kind of revenge.
- In some cases, infantilism develops already at a conscious age. For example, if a partner seeks to fence off a lover from all troubles and problems (of course, with the best of intentions), then he may soon get used to this and simply forget how to take responsibility and make decisions.
How is infantilism manifested?
The main signs of infantility:
- Inability and unwillingness to make important decisions. If there is a need to urgently solve something, then an infantile person will try to shift this task onto the shoulders of someone else. If no one is around, then he can let everything take its course or make a completely rash and spontaneous decision, literally pointing his finger at the sky.
- Striving for dependency. An infantile person will not necessarily strive to live at someone's expense. He can earn, and not bad. But from servicing himself in the everyday sense (washing dishes, washing, cleaning, and so on), such a person can shirk in every possible way.
- Most often, infantile people are quite self-centered and selfish. They believe that the whole world should revolve around them. If such a person is asked for something, then he will surely find many reasons to refuse. But he himself often turns to others for help and believes that everyone owes him and should.
- Since infantile people are used to go with the flow, they often have difficulties in relationships. At some point, the other half will understand that the partner is not capable of anything, and will try to change this. But if an infantile person himself is not aware of his problem, he will not be able to cope with it and change.
- These people are very fond of entertainment and often put it in the foreground. And it does not matter that the house is not cleaned, and the refrigerator is empty. If someone offers an interesting and fun activity, then an infantile person will immediately agree.
- In most cases, these people are very lazy. They are ready to live in disorder, just to do nothing.
- An infantile person is likely to change jobs quite often. First, work is the need to decide and do something. Secondly, it prevents you from having fun and living for your own pleasure.
- Such people live one day and do not think at all about what will happen tomorrow, and even more so the day after tomorrow or in a month. For this reason, they often do not have savings or even a small “stash”, as well as food supplies in the refrigerator.
- An infantile person does not strive for development, self-improvement. Everything suits him, he does not want to become better or stronger.
How to solve a problem?
How to get rid of infantilism? Helpful Hints:
- Before you start the fight, you should be aware of the problem.
- Some people just need a shake. Cardinal changes can make an infantile person finally start thinking about the future. You can change your job or even the city. And the really big change is moving to another country. If a person realizes that no one will help him, then he will begin to act independently and gradually learn to make decisions and take responsibility.
- You can find a job that involves making responsible decisions. Of course, you should not choose a position that involves responsibility for people's lives, but, for example, a cashier is already a responsibility, albeit a material one.
- If an infantile person lives with his parents or with his second half, then he can try to live separately and provide for himself. Probably in a few months he will learn to serve himself, plan a budget and think about tomorrow.
- Goals should be set and achieved. Let it be small goals at first, such as a certain salary or some kind of purchase. And then you can move on to more global achievements.
- As strange as it may sound, but you can get a pet. Yes, if the owner understands that he is responsible for caring for the animal, he will gradually begin to get used to responsibility and stop being afraid of it.
- You can contact a psychologist, find out the causes and eliminate them. For example, if the roots of the problem go back to childhood, then you should find out what exactly became the trigger. It is important to understand that childhood is long gone, and adulthood is something else. It should be understood that decisions are an integral, but not at all terrible part of life.
Now you know how to deal with infantilism, and you can help yourself or a loved one.
