All lovers want and believe that they can be a harmonious couple. Happy relationships are relationships based on mutual love and the ability to get along with each other. But for some reason, some couples manage to get along, while others do not. Of course, there can be many reasons, but often they say about a couple who did not manage to stay together: “They didn’t get along.” Character traits are, of course, very important for building relationships, but there is an even more important factor - compatibility by temperament type.
The analyst may well become confused and, discouraged, feel that there is nothing to work with. They are simply patients who have failed to accept the usual unifying procedures: not only have they failed to suppress parts of their conflict, but they have also failed to create a certain idealized image. To some extent, they can be said to demonstrate the value of these attempts. No matter how difficult the consequences may be, people who have done this are better organized and not nearly as lost as the elusive type.
On the other hand, the analyst would be equally mistaken if he expected the job to be easy because conflicts are visible and therefore do not need to be brought out of hiding. However, he will find himself opposed to the patient's aversion to any transparency, and this will tend to defeat him unless he himself understands that this is a way of curing the patient of any real understanding.
Temperament– these are innate psychophysiological characteristics of the individual. The physiology of the brain determines the characteristics of the individual’s psyche. A person's temperament is his most stable individual feature. He, unlike his character, can remain the same for many years and even all your life.
Four types of temperament identified in psychology:
Bernard Paris connects Karen Horney's theory and her personality. In neurotic personality and self-analysis, she focused on the neurotic need for affection, neurotic ambition, and the conflict between the two. Biographical material suggests that this was Horney's main conflict.
Our internal conflicts: a constructive theory of neurosis. Karen Horney: Seeking a psychoanalyst for self-understanding. A gentle pogrom of psychoanalysis. The Feminist Legacy of Karen Horney. If you look around and see that others despise you, than you accept it within yourself, you think you are real. On the other hand, if you lack something, it means that there are certain ideals that you must live up to. Understand that the ideal self is not a positive goal; This is unrealistic and ultimately impossible. The dependency we have as babies creates a major anxiety in all of us. Like most psychologists of his time, he was captivated by the mysticism and complexity of Freudian theories. Horney would be the strongest influence in his thinking, although the writings of Alfred Adler, Erich Fromm, and Harry Stack Sullivan also played a role in shaping his psychological models. For example, we have to get up in the morning. With boundaries, they feel very vulnerable, so they have a whole range of demands on other people. As a way to protect yourself. He said he is known to patients who have made a point of counting and cataloging a long list of “jobs.”
- The neurotic self “splits” into the despised self and the ideal self.
- Other theorists postulate a "lake" self, as you think others see.
- You create an ideal self out of these “shoulds.”
- Melancholic,
- Phlegmatic person,
- Sanguine,
- Choleric.
An important caveat should be made: not a single person can be attributed one hundred percent to one or another type of temperament. In the psyche there is only a predominant type. For example, a person can be 50% melancholic, 35% phlegmatic, 10% sanguine and 5% choleric. In this case, they say that the predominant type of temperament is melancholic.
These are all character types that we will encounter in life and that we are going to try. Although it should be noted that approximately 50% of the variation in human personality is determined by genetic factors. However, personality is based on two very different traits; character and temperament. In this article, we will learn the difference between temperament and character and what are the characteristics of the types mentioned above. In addition, we will have a series of articles where we will define each of these personality types in detail if you pay attention to everything published in this same blog.
Brief characteristics of each type:
- Melancholic. Emotional, sensitive, vulnerable, empathetic, responsive, trusting, soft, deep; insecure, weak, difficult to perceive criticism, self-critical, passive.
- Phlegmatic person. Calm, calm, in control of emotions, strong, peaceful, reasonable, decisive, balanced, responsible; secretive, sedentary, conservative, inert.
- Sanguine. Active, energetic, very mobile, cheerful, talkative, with a sense of humor; superficial, fickle, flighty, lacking concentration and perseverance.
- Choleric. Stormy, bright, bold, daring, proactive, leader; unrestrained, hot-tempered, impulsive, aggressive.
Sometimes, in order to determine your type of temperament, it is enough to know its characteristics, but this does not always work out. In this case, you can turn to psychological tests. Psychologists usually use G. Eysenck’s questionnaire to diagnose the type of temperament.
What is character and how does it differ from temperament?
In psychology, character is defined as: the basis of personality, together with temperament and abilities. It becomes a collection of reactions and habits of behavior that have been acquired throughout life, and gives each person his own special way of being. Therefore, it is a combination of values, feelings and attitudes.
It refers to the way a person perceives other people or things and other concepts. This is greatly influenced by sociocultural factors in the place where a person develops. Various psychologists have given their opinions on this concept. The general consensus is that it is not fully expressed in children, it goes through different phases to reach full expression at the end of adolescence, and there are different character types.
Now, knowing the temperament types of partners, you can predict how easy or difficult it will be to build harmonious relationships.
Temperament types are compatible as follows:
- A sanguine person is best compatible with a sanguine person, they are both like “butterflies”, they do not take problems too seriously, they can laugh and have fun together for a long time. A sanguine person gets along a little worse with a choleric person and a phlegmatic person, since he is freedom-loving, and these types of temperament are quite authoritarian and require obedience. A sanguine person is practically incompatible with a melancholic person. A sensitive and vulnerable melancholic person will be hurt by a fickle sanguine person, and a sanguine person will be irritated by the melancholic person’s excessive caution.
- A phlegmatic person gets along well with a phlegmatic person. Such a union will result in a close-knit family, with common goals and views. Melancholic and phlegmatic are a wonderful couple. A strong phlegmatic person will be a support for a sensitive melancholic person. It’s great if the phlegmatic person in such a couple is a man. The hardest thing is for a phlegmatic person with a choleric person. The choleric person is infuriated by the slowness of the phlegmatic person, and the phlegmatic person is horrified by the incontinence of the choleric person.
- A melancholic person gets along best with a phlegmatic person. In such a couple, the roles of the leader (phlegmatic) and the follower (melancholic) are immediately designated, and they are so comfortable and calm. They understand each other well without words. It’s hard for a melancholic person to live with a choleric person and a sanguine person, who can offend and humiliate him.
- Cholerics and sanguine people get along well together, they are both energetic. The choleric person will learn not to worry so deeply and emotionally about everything from the sanguine person, and the sanguine person will learn to set goals and be more persistent. With a phlegmatic person and a melancholic person, the choleric person will be bored.
The most important thing to remember is that the ability to negotiate solves many problems. You can adapt to your temperament type if there is mutual love and respect.
However, he must know that we are responsible for our own way of being, which is important for many factors in our lives; Therefore, we often give this moral value, and this is a point of reflection in psychological education. Many times we tend to confuse the two, but don't worry once we clarify the difference between your character and your temperament.
Your character's traits come from your experiences, e.g. On the other hand, temperament we could say are the traits of your personality that come into you since you have been satisfied. This; They are inherited biologically from your parents. It is your willingness to think and feel a certain way from your early childhood.
If you are interested in the topic of psychological compatibility of a couple, we recommend reading psychological literature:
- Vera Semenova, Emil Kostin “Compatibility, interpersonal relationships”
- Rajneesh Osho “Man and Woman. Living in Harmony “
- I. Udilova, N. Rodionova “Secrets of happy relationships”
- John Curtis “Man vs Woman”
- L. Semenova “He + She: ready-made solutions for perfect compatibility”
- Leil Lowndes “Friends and Loved Ones. How to find and keep them. How to build harmonious relationships with people you want to make part of your life”
- John Gray “Mars on Ice, Venus on Fire”
Is temperamental compatibility in a couple important to you?
What types of characters are there?
Learning about temperaments will help you better understand each other and your personalities. With the help of which you can communicate better and be more saga to deal with certain situations. Throughout history it has been confirmed that there are four different types character. These are the main and common types, which are often present in humans and are a unique combination that determines how to think, feel and behave.
This means you have an excess or deficiency of these fluids. If you want to know what character you are, let's take a look general characteristics each of the existing character types. This way you can have an idea about each of them. This type is characterized by spontaneity, optimism, enthusiasm, energy, mental flexibility, novelty seeking, impulsiveness and curiosity. These characteristics are associated with specific genes in the dopamine system.
Temperament plays a decisive role in our character in certain situations. This is the foundation on which it is built. Therefore, you need to know what temperaments generally exist in people, so that you can take this factor into account when communicating with other people.
Temperament is such a thing that, despite the enormous influence it has on our character, we cannot fully rely on it.
These people are defined primarily by their social skills, such as their ability to express themselves and read other people's expressions and body language. They are good for connecting the dots and getting a “panorama”. This person is usually enriching, friendly, pleasant, and emotionally expressive. Some of these symptoms are related to estrogen, which is present in both men and women.
Physically you can recognize them with their smooth skin, full lips, round faces and a small nose. His favorite words are "passion", "sensitive" and "sweet". This type is associated with testosterone, which is also present in men and women, but even more so in men. These people are direct, goal-oriented, stable, analytical, logical and strategic. They have a lot of courage and love to compete, often with each other. They usually have square jaws, cheekbones and high foreheads and like to use words like "intelligence", "ambition" and "challenge".
Temperament is the ossification of your personality.
You have to be anyone.
Nikolay Kozlov
What are the types of temperament?
Man is a complex creature, so even the most compatible types may not be compatible at times. And that's okay.After all, temperament is influenced by upbringing and other elements of a person’s socialization.
Let's first figure out what types of temperaments there are. And then it will be possible to calmly discuss such a topic as compatibility of temperaments.
Melancholic blood is a very emotional person, laughing one moment and crying the next. Melancholic blood has a lot of potential, but she needs to feel safe and admired by others, in fact this is what contributes a lot to her achievements.
Melancholy blood feels the sadness of another
Melancholic blood truly feels the sorrows of others because it is very difficult for them to hear a sad story or difficult event in another person's life without shedding tears. Often, melancholic music can make you cry deeply.
Melancholic blood - perfectionist
People with this are quite perfectionists, walking away from people, this is because they often verbalize criticism. They tend to be people-oriented and make significant contributions to their lives as long as they don't let their ego inconvenience them.The psychology of this topic is quite complex; there are specialists who specialize only in these compatibility.
Odes have already been written about this type.
In the popular mind he is associated with a “psychic” type. Therefore, every person who is often nervous, even due to objective circumstances, is considered among other people.
Melancholic blood is dreamy and unsafe
People with this are dreamers, this is because dreams are both dreams. And this can be a great weakness, because if your melancholic side thinks negatively, it can completely nullify the potential of this combination of temperaments. And their tendency is to turn to themselves, feeling unsafe and afraid.
Our love relationships are an important part of our lives. We all have someone in the back of our minds who, upon returning home at the end of the day's work, asks us how our day was. No matter what level we are as social beings, our basic need for social connection will always speak loudly enough.
There is, of course, some truth in this. After all, this is an unstable type. But you need to get rid of stereotypes and not attribute a person's behavior to temperament.
It happens that choleric people are even more adequate to the situation. After all, temperament essentially means only the speed of nerve impulses and the stability of the nervous system.
So most of us need someone who fulfills us and loves us. But the meaning of “love” and “fulfillment” is different for each of us. And it is this difference in the personal meaning of each word that makes relationships not always easy, especially when there are differences in temperament.
Differences in temperament are neutral; in a couple, they ultimately come down to behavior and points of view. But even then, how complicated can it be in a relationship where the woman likes to go out and the man prefers to stay at home? Or that the woman is much calmer and the man would like her to be a little more decisive?
It turns out that sometimes choleric people understand what is happening around them faster than others. This is due to their greater ability to think.
This is the most energetic type. Despite the fact that he can indeed yell at times, he solves certain problems much better than other types.
Cholerics are also good in situations where speed is more important than accuracy. And these, excuse me, are any moments where you need to quickly make certain decisions. That is, choleric people make good crisis managers.
Was this article helpful to you? If this is the case, it may be the same for other people.
It's no coincidence that our first concern when we go into a relationship is to know how much she has to "work out." So, what about our temperamental compatibility? Save this search. While opposites can attract and succeed in forming stable couples in the long run, it is easier to make a couple last if the two partners have more common ground. Sources of dispute and inevitable intractable problems then risk being less polarizing in a fight where each is trying to be right with the other.
This temperament has acquired stereotypes associated with its calmness.
If you get it, he will be even worse than a choleric person. Stalin belonged to this type. And despite this, he achieved a reputation as a tyrant.
If you start a phlegmatic person, this can lead to sad consequences, since this type stops the same way it starts - slowly but surely.
Almost seventy-five years ago, two philosophers, René Lessenne and Gaston Berger, developed a branch of psychology called characterization. According to this approach, each person is born and develops a special character according to three criteria: emotionality, activity and consequences.
Emotionality refers to the vibratory capacity of an individual, i.e. to the ability to be psychologically or physically shaken by internal or external influences. Agency refers to the ability to take action, whether emotions occur or not.
Phlegmatic temperament is considered one of the most efficient. If choleric people do not like to sit for a long time at one thing, then phlegmatic people can sit for hours. Naturally, such ability to work requires sacrifice. And this sacrifice is speed.
Phlegmatic people do not know how to work quickly due to the slowness of the nerve impulse. But sometimes it's even better, since some situations require precision. Phlegmatic people will be great managers in quiet times.
Sanguine people are considered the most extroverted type. In any pictures and cartoons they are depicted as people who are always laughing. In fact, that's how it is.
Sanguine people really love to communicate. They are a certain mixture of choleric and phlegmatic people. They took energy from choleric people, and stability from phlegmatic people.
Sanguine people are efficient, like phlegmatic people, and fast, like choleric people. But they sacrifice other things.
The sanguine temperament may seem overly talkative to other people at times. Therefore, if you belong to this type, take into account this feature of yours.
The weakest type. Weak not in the evaluative sense, but in the actual sense.
This is truly the most dysfunctional type. But they have a deep emotionality that is incomprehensible to other people.
They acutely feel all the spiritual notes that other people have. They work unstably and do not know how to do it quickly.
But melancholic people make wonderful actors. Melancholic people are artistic by nature. They have talent in this regard.
There are known representatives of this type who could cause real tears right in front of the public. Therefore, you should not underestimate such people.
Cholerics take by force, phlegmatics take with persistence. And with melancholic people they deal with cunning. Both types are artistic.
Sanguine people are good at creating positive emotions, while melancholic people are good at creating negative ones. This makes these types related. They work well in a team, since sanguine people can easily encourage a melancholic person, and the latter are able to press for pity. If this mixture is used in tandem, amazing results can be achieved.
But let's still figure out which types are really compatible.
Compatibility of temperaments of different types
This article should not be used canonically. Compatibility of temperament types is best only if people have common interests.Each case is individual, what will be described here are only average values. Moreover, temperament in itself cannot influence relationships between people.
Let us not forget that this is only the foundation on which others are built. personality traits. Therefore, you should not believe the descriptions. They can only help a little in the difficult task of determining your compatibility with another person.
Relationships with a choleric person
This type is quite complex in terms of relationships. Moreover, this complexity is expressed not only in incompatible types, but also in relation to people who have the same type. If the other person is of the same type, then this can lead to a conflict over the zone of influence, since control over the situation is often important to choleric people.Choleric people treat sanguine people quite normally. After all, both types are often extroverted. But the best combination is between choleric people and phlegmatic people. They, as the most inert type, are perfectly stimulated by choleric people to activity.
Phlegmatic people themselves relax choleric people and prevent them from completely abandoning their main activity or going crazy. In the choleric type, the incompatibility of temperaments is most manifested with melancholic people due to the strength of the first type and the weakness of the last type.
Compatibility with phlegmatic temperament
As already mentioned, phlegmatic people go well with choleric people due to their calmness.Quite good, but somewhat monotonous relationships develop between phlegmatic people and melancholic people. They can communicate, but due to the introversion of both types, communication will take a very long time to develop on the right wave.
Phlegmatic people will develop great relationships with sanguine people. The latter will hinder the communication process. Phlegmatic people, as ideal listeners, will gratefully absorb the chatter of sanguine people.
Conversations with phlegmatic people are very boring. , therefore, a certain situation is needed that can affect the relationship between two phlegmatic people.
Communication between sanguine people
Sanguine people usually get along well with each other. They know how to get along with any people, but communication with each other is simply a fairy tale.They are sociable and active, making them both excellent listeners and ideal talkers. Good relationships develop with choleric people who love monologues that sanguine people will listen to. Sanguine people generally communicate well with other people, but best of all with melancholic people, who will be stimulated by them.
What about melancholic people?
Melancholic people are the most difficult type in terms of communication. They find it difficult to connect with other people due to a heightened sense of hostility. Moreover, this feeling is often exaggerated. Therefore, melancholic people need their own sanguine person who can stir them up.Bottom line
Here are the main points that each temperament has. But let’s not forget that every temperament has negative side. For example, a melancholic person who is successful in communication can achieve more than a choleric loser.Therefore, our advice to you is that first of all, when assessing a person, look not at temperament, but at his personality traits. If everything were so simple, then psychologists would not be needed.
