General rules for communicating with people. Rules for communicating with people

The ability to communicate with other people is an important quality of any man. Your career, the number and quality of friends, success with girls and much more depend on how effectively you communicate with people. On the one hand, it’s so easy to communicate. However, many men have difficulty with this. Some people have elements of social phobia, which, in principle, prevent them from making contact with a stranger. Others communicate simply ineffectively: they do not present themselves from the best angle, and do not know how to behave in conflict situations.

If you pay attention to how you communicate with the people around you (friends, family, children and strangers), then half the work is already done. The second step will be to become aware of your shortcomings in communication, which in one way or another interfere with your life. The next thing you should do is correct and work out all the nuances in communication, including using the tips given in this article and the basic rules of communication, which will be discussed below. Let's start with friends.

Rules for communicating with friends

Friends are some of the people closest to you, about whom you know everything or almost everything. Therefore, you can build your communication with them as harmoniously as possible. So that both you and they feel comfortable.

Sometimes we simply don’t notice that some elements of communication can irritate and offend the interlocutor. For example, in the case of friends, this could be nicknames given to them. You may find it cool, and the person seems to react neutrally. In fact, a person may strongly dislike this moment and harm your communication with him, and friendship in general.

From the same opera there are various “jokes” and “witticisms” that a person may not like at all. As a result, he will try to minimize communication with you so as not to experience discomfort in such situations.

From this it follows that you need to calibrate your communication. Try to be sensitive to your friend. If you see that there is a negative reaction to some of your behavior towards him, change your communication style so that you both feel comfortable. It's called respect.

Rules for communicating with children

A child is also a person, only small. The main difference between him and an adult is his attitude to the world around him. The child has not yet learned to act logically; he lives at the level of emotions. Consequently, if he begins to “behave badly” from the point of view of an adult, logical arguments and suggestions will not calm him down. He won't understand. Much more in an efficient way there will be a diversion of attention from his “bad activity” and his focusing on something else that may interest the child.

On the other hand, you should behave with the child on an equal footing, without familiarity. An important point in communicating with a child is the ability to listen to him. At the same time, you need to make sure that he treats you with respect on his part. Treat him like a friend. Simply less experienced in life and weaker. Sometimes you can give friendly advice. Try to understand what he likes and how he lives.

5 basic rules for communicating with people

#1 Smile and be positive. A smile is disarming. She creates an image positive person, has the ability to have a beneficial effect on the interlocutor. Even a smile is a great way to defuse the situation.

#2 Know how to listen. Being able to listen to a person is not so easy. Often the opinion of your interlocutor does not coincide with yours. Listening to the opposing point of view and maintaining a stable emotional state can be quite difficult. But it is important to be able to do this, since you can understand your opponent’s train of thought and his motives. Therefore, it will then be easier to give a reasoned answer. Or behave correctly.

#3 Be confident, but friendly person . An insecure person makes a negative impression on others. Therefore, it is very important to know your worth, have your own beliefs and be able to defend them with reason. It is not necessary to use aggression. Even in difficult situations you can balance on the brink of friendliness.

#4 Treat your interlocutor with respect. This quality helps to maintain a good relationship with a person for a long time. Provided that he also reciprocates. Initially, a respectful attitude towards a person can act as a litmus test: if he does not appreciate such behavior, then you will immediately understand that you should either communicate and do business with him extremely carefully or not at all. And vice versa, if a person also immediately began to communicate with you respectfully, then you will find the right language.

#5 Call your interlocutor by name. Every person on a subconscious level likes to be called by name. Therefore, by mentioning the name of your interlocutor more often (within reasonable limits), you will quickly win his favor.

Books on the topic of communication rules

Many books have been written on this topic. I will highlight 5 of the most interesting ones, which I recommend reading.

• Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People
• Sigmund Freud - “Mass Psychology and Analysis of the Human Self”
• Cornelia Topf - “The Art of Casual Conversation”
• Chaim Ginott "Parent - child. World of Relationships"
• Emma Sargent, Tim Fieron - “Learn to have a conversation in any situation”

In conclusion, I would like to say that, despite different rules communication, you should also listen to your own self. What are your desires, thoughts and intentions at the moment? Relate and try to combine them with the rules of communication. Then your communication skills will improve new level, and you will quickly experience a qualitative increase in the standard of your life. Good luck!

Communication is the main tool of interaction between people. With the help of verbal or non-verbal signs, emotions, desires, intentions are expressed, and information is transmitted. Possession of communication skills allows you to easily establish contact with people and be successful in all areas of life.

What is communication ethics?

The doctrine of morality is included in the concept of ethics. Moral norms include the rules of interaction between people established by society. Interaction includes generally accepted standards of behavior and communication. Ethical principles are conditional and differ from culture to culture. However, their observance is a necessary condition for existence in society.

The essence of morality lies in the presence moral qualities that allow you to successfully interact with people around you at a decent level.

Generally accepted norms exclude any violence, obscene language, criticism, or humiliation.

Respectful attitude, goodwill, openness, equality, freedom of expression are encouraged.

Speech communications

Verbal communication using verbal means accompanies the expression of one’s thoughts, opinions, emotions, and exchange of information. It can be characterized in terms of:

• literacy;
• accessibility;
• accuracy;
• content;
• expressiveness.

In the process of speech relationships, it is also important to monitor voice intonation and timbre.

Distinguish the following types verbal communication:

• Ordinary communication or conversation - an exchange of opinions and experiences occurs.
• Discussion – issues are resolved, tasks are discussed.
• Confrontation – an argument takes place, a position is defended.
• Dispute – there is a public discussion of socially important topics.
• Discussion – different opinions are discussed in order to find the truth.
• Symposium – short presentations by several people.
• Lecture – one participant speaks.
• Controversy – an exchange of opinions takes place, a discussion takes place with the goal of winning and defending one’s position.

The effectiveness of one or another type of verbal communication depends on correctly set goals and the constructiveness of the information.

How to talk to people correctly?

So, for example, when communicating with younger people or children, they need to spend more time, be sincerely interested in their problems, and listen carefully.

Under no circumstances should you criticize or humiliate. You need to communicate with children as with adults, with respect and kindness.

When communicating with friends or peers, it is important to respect other people's opinions. It is not recommended to give advice where it is not asked. Interaction should be based on the principles of cooperation, openness, and honesty.

When communicating with parents, you need to be more tolerant and listen carefully to their opinions or advice. There is no point in conflict or trying to prove that you are right. It is necessary to strive for constructive dialogue. Kind, affectionate words work wonders.

When communicating with disabled people, you should not focus on their situation. Showing excessive pity or sympathy can irritate or humiliate your interlocutor.

Under no circumstances should you say anything in an arrogant or dismissive tone. When speaking, you need to be extremely attentive and polite.

When communicating with older, adult people, it is necessary to show respect, politeness, and honesty. It is not allowed to address someone as “you” or simply by name, unless such a desire is expressed by the interlocutor himself. You need to talk in a calm, relaxed, friendly manner.

Communication with older people should be based on respect, deference, politeness, and openness. You should always address yourself by your first name, patronymic, or “you.”

There's no point in arguing. It should be understood that older people are especially vulnerable; they need understanding, support, and help.

When speaking, you should use only kind and positive words.

How to communicate on the phone correctly?

When communicating on the phone, there is no eye contact, so the main and decisive impression is formed on the basis of the greeting. The first phrases spoken, intonation, and manner of communication affect the result and the duration of the entire conversation.

Telephone communication begins from the moment the phone starts ringing. According to the rules of good manners, the phone should be picked up immediately after the third ring. It is recommended to wait until the eighth ring for a response.

After the answer is given, it is important to say hello as politely as possible and be sure to introduce yourself.

If a person is called for the first time, then you need to tell them where the phone number came from. Then they begin the main part of the conversation.

It is important to maintain a measured pace of speech here. Speech that is too fast is difficult to hear and its meaning is often missed. A slow pace can start to irritate the other person and they will become distracted. The voice should not be too quiet and not too loud.

To maintain positive attitude You need to smile when talking. A smile is always felt when talking on the phone, and it gives a special politeness to the voice. It is recommended to periodically contact you by your first name or patronymic name. A person is always pleased to hear his name. In addition, it adds a touch of individuality.

If serious negotiations or discussion of commercial terms are planned, then it is better to prepare the text or key phrases in advance.

However, the interlocutor should not guess that the words have been prepared in advance. The conversation should take place in the most natural, relaxed manner possible.

It is important to pause between meaningful sentences, giving the person the opportunity to express their opinion on the issue under discussion. In this case, you need to listen carefully and actively. This can be done using short phrases such as “yes”, “okay”, “I see”.

It is necessary to end the telephone conversation on a positive note. You can’t abruptly cut off communication. The last phrases are very important. A proper farewell is almost the last chance that can help change the situation in the opposite direction. Therefore, it is better to plan it in advance.

Social Media Etiquette

Modern technologies allow you to communicate via the Internet using applications and social networks. Gradually, such communication penetrates into all spheres of human activity. If previously such communication occurred only between close friends and relatives, now this is how serious work issues are resolved, political topics are discussed, and interest groups are created. Discussions on social networks shape the worldview of modern people.

​There are unspoken rules of etiquette that should be followed when correspondence, so as not to spoil the impression of yourself. Without seeing the interlocutor and without hearing his voice, an opinion, as a rule, is formed on the basis of:

• literacy;
• the ability to express one’s thoughts concisely;
• politeness;
• vocabulary used.

Any message should begin with a greeting, calling by name.

It should be borne in mind that words written only in capital letters, carry a great emotional load. It is better to avoid a large number of exclamation marks, question marks, ellipsis, and understatement. This may create the wrong attitude towards what was said. Under no circumstances should you use obscene words.

Before sending a message, you should read it carefully and evaluate the appropriateness of the information provided. Don't forget to send a message of gratitude whenever possible.

All this can scare off not only interlocutors, but also potential employers. One of the modern trends in personnel search and selection is the use of social networks.

Rules of nonverbal conversation

Nonverbal interaction is carried out using facial expressions, gestures, and habits. Clothing, its cut, color, combination can say a lot about your emotional state, character, and status. A sloppy look is created by poorly ironed clothes with all buttons undone. The hairstyle adds integrity to the look. Hair should be clean and neatly styled.

There are certain rules that allow you to effectively interact with each other. Among the main points are:

• Keeping your distance. Intrusion into personal space - closer than 40 cm - causes discomfort.
• Eye contact. When speaking, you need to make eye contact as often as possible, about 60% of the time. This is how a trusting relationship is formed. However, you should not overuse it. Staring too long expresses distrust and aggression.

• Using open poses. It is not recommended to cross your arms or legs. Such poses express closedness and reluctance to make contact.
• Straight posture indicates self-confidence.
• No postures expressing dissatisfaction superiority, neglect. These include a pose where your hands rest on your side, are lowered in your pockets, or are behind your back.
• No excessive gesticulation. Otherwise, it may seem that the speaker does not have enough vocabulary to express his thoughts.

It should be noted that the location of the interlocutors is also important. Being opposite each other, opponents are more prone to confrontation than being located next to each other. Therefore, round tables are often used for business negotiations.

Features of conflict-free communication

During a conflict, there is a clash of opinions, interests, and positions. The result of confrontation can be the achievement of a common goal or destructive consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to strive to transform any conflict into a positive direction, and, if possible, prevent it altogether.

Before getting carried away with emotions, you should try to take a sober look at the situation, analyze it, and try to politely convey the essence of the issue.

It is imperative to give your opponent the opportunity to get out of the situation with dignity. In order not to create preconditions for confrontation, it is recommended to adhere to simple principles that allow you to effectively interact with others.

These include:

• politeness;
• respect;
• positivity;
• openness;
• attention;
• decency;
• concreteness;
• maintaining personal boundaries;
• tolerance;
• justice;
• compassion.

The ability to put yourself in the position of another person allows you to understand the motives of his behavior and look at the situation from a different angle. You should not react to aggression emotionally. This could lead to an uncontrollable dangerous situation. Also, do not give in to provocations.

It should be remembered that each individual has his own characteristics of character, temperament, worldview, upbringing, and life situation. This must be understood and accepted. A person chooses his own reaction to a particular message. You shouldn’t just “jump in the face” right away.

Business communication

IN professional world It is customary to observe the ethics of business communication. This is a set of rules aimed at achieving specific goals. The specificity of interaction is not to show interesting sides of your character, but to interest your partner, to inspire trust and respect. It is important to find common ground, to define boundaries and areas of interaction. This takes into account cultural, national characteristics business partner.

Key skills for successful business negotiations include:

• the ability to correctly express one’s intentions;
• ability to analyze;
• listening skills;
• the ability to defend one's position;
• a sober assessment of all the pros and cons;
• knowledge of professional terminology.

There are the main stages of a business conversation:

• Greetings. At this stage, the first impression is formed.
• Introductory part. Includes preparation for discussion of key issues.
• Discussion. Includes specification of the situation, consideration possible options, decision making.
• Completion. Farewell, which also influences the formation of a holistic impression.

When talking, you must show sincere interest in the topic and goodwill. Mood and emotional state should not affect the rate of speech and its volume. The facial expression should be open and welcoming. Nothing is more attractive than a sincere smile from your interlocutor.

In the field of professional communication, qualities such as tactfulness, honesty, decency, and clarity are valued.

They always say it first positive aspects, and only then mention the negative ones.

Regardless of the form in which a business meeting takes place, it is necessary to monitor diction, rate of speech, volume, construction of phrases, and correct placement of accents. Whatever the outcome of the business meeting, a positive impression from the conversation should remain. This significantly increases the chances of improving the result.

This article reveals seven rules for communicating with people that you should follow in order to always remain a good conversationalist.

Rule 1: Address the person by name.

A person’s own name is a pleasant set of sounds that she wants to hear all the time. Here you can make one clarification - ask your interlocutor how you should address him, because not all variations of his name are equally pleasant to the owner.

Rule 2. Smile

We love happy smiling people. We trust them more, tell them and smile back. Here again, there is one important point. The smile should be relaxed and sincere. People can actually spot fakes very easily. Especially women. Therefore, when communicating with them, you should be especially careful not to overdo your smile. This can be difficult, especially for someone who rarely smiles. And the only way to learn this is to try to smile more often.

Rule 3. Respect the person's opinion

It is very good when a person has his own view of things. Not everyone has their own opinion, so it deserves respect in itself. A person’s own opinion is very valuable, because it is his opinion, close to his heart. Other people's thoughts may not coincide with yours (although this does not always mean that it is wrong) and it is not always necessary to convince a person that you are right.

Sometimes there can be several different, and in their own way, correct views on the same thing. Sometimes, the view may change depending on the point of view. And sometimes the interlocutor may actually be wrong. Even if the opponent is wrong, his opinion should be respected in any case. By respecting other people's opinions, you will show that you respect them.

Rule 4. Praise your interlocutor

Praise is like a balm for the soul. Hearing sincere word praise, a person blossoms and is ready to become even better. There is no such thing as too much praise. If you praise a person in advance, for what he really is not, but with the belief that he will certainly become like that, the person will want to correspond to this description and will become even better. However, there is one “but” here again - beware of insincerity in words.

Just like in the case of an insincere smile, insincere praise is also very easy to recognize. Therefore, if you praise a person, do it sincerely. This is a very important communication with another person, do not underestimate it.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul. Everyone knows this, everyone understands this, but not everyone is ready to look their interlocutor in the eyes. But in vain. In addition to the fact that you can see the reaction to your words in the eyes of your interlocutor, a clear, direct gaze will convince the person of your sincerity and openness. Again, don't overdo it. A piercing gaze that lasts too long will make your interlocutor feel awkward and will also push him away from you.

Rule 6. Communicate with a person in his language

Consider who you are currently communicating with. Language and lexicon different people can be quite different. Among our friends we speak the same language, when talking with our boss we use another, but with children it’s completely different from anything else. Therefore, look at your interlocutor. If you know what polyhexamethylene adipinamide is and how the obverse differs from the reverse, you should not remember this during every conversation. Sometimes great wisdom lies in explaining complex concepts in simple, understandable words.

Rule 7: Leave if you have nothing more to say.

You may like the person you are talking to. You may enjoy being in his company. However, you don’t know whether a person shares your hobbies. Sometimes there is even a lot of sweet honey. Do not oversaturate the person with yourself and your communication. Know how to put an end to it in time. But you shouldn’t put a period where you can put a comma. If necessary, make an appointment for the next meeting.

Of course, in life we ​​are not always guided by clear rules and consult books during every conversation. However, the main principles and rules of communication with people are worth remembering and using. And over time, this will become a way of communication.

"How can I reach my husband? He doesn't hear me." “I can’t tell her anything, I’m afraid we’ll fight again.” “All our conversations turn into scandals, what should we do?”

Most misunderstandings and conflicts between people occur only because we do not know how to communicate with each other. We don’t hear, we can’t get our thoughts across, we don’t hear what we’re told, we blame, we demand instead of asking, and we do a lot of other things in an attempt to get through to each other. But there is still no mutual understanding and contact.

How many couples have broken up only because they lacked communication skills and competent communication!

But the ability to speak, hear, convince, compromise and negotiate is extremely important both in personal affairs and in business!

It is not without reason that they say that in the modern world those who know how to build relationships will succeed.

There is an important term in psychology - relationship ecology, which implies that harmony exists where people take care of themselves and their partner equally, without attacking the other or ignoring their own thoughts, feelings and needs. The basis of a good relationship is trust, sincerity and respect.

Do you want to become a master communicator and learn how to build deep relationships with people? I will tell you about the basic rules of communication that will help you solve this difficult problem.

Rule one: talk about yourself, not about others.

“It hurts and offends me when you say that,” and not “you are an evil, aggressive boor!” Or “I’m upset that this happened” instead of “you ruined everything again.” Do you feel the difference?

When you talk about yourself, it is an open position, an invitation to dialogue, and when you talk about another person or his actions, it is an attack or accusation.

An attack triggers a natural desire to defend yourself and hit back.

The dialogue stops and ceases to be productive - that’s it, we’ve arrived, the train is not going any further, please vacate the carriages. If you want to be heard, do not attack, do not blame, but talk about your feelings and experiences, use “I-messages”.

Rule two: study your points of vulnerability.

Everyone has them, and it is important to know them. My personal weak point is instability to criticism. As soon as I hear that someone disapproves of me, I perceive it as harsh criticism and rejection, curl up in a corner, run away from the relationship, or attack in response. But in fact, the person did not mean anything offensive; I myself heard him that way and interpreted him. Because I have a wound in this place. And even the most innocent statement from a partner will cause a painful reaction and destroy contact.

Explore your points of vulnerability. Knowing them, you can stop, exhale and make “adjustments for the wind.”

Rule three: when you want to say something, clearly understand why you are saying it.

Everything we say, we say for a purpose. Even when we chat with a friend about the weather and children's illnesses, our communication has a purpose, such as emotional connection, support or advice.

If we express a complaint or grievance to someone, then it would be good to understand what is important to us - to ask the interlocutor for something, to come to an agreement with him or to convey our position.

If yes, then use point 1 - “I-messages”, ask or offer a compromise.

The option when I just feel sick and want to speak out and react emotions is not environmentally friendly.

Emotional turmoil destroys trust and security.

Rule four: make your message clear.

Compare “Is it okay that the last time we saw each other was a week ago?” and “I want to see you, I miss you.”

The first message is manipulative, unclear and causes tension, while the second is clear and understandable, causing trust and respect.

Be bold and use clear messages. Build the trust of your interlocutor.

This is true, unfortunately. If your partner is not a psychic, but an ordinary person, then, I assure you, he has no idea what is going on in your head. If you proudly withdraw into yourself, leaving your husband to guess what you are offended by, then most likely nothing will work out for you. Because he doesn't understand.

Not because he doesn’t love you, but because no one can get into another’s head and read his thoughts.

The “let him figure it out” option does not work in communication.

Rule six: know how to listen to your feelings.

The basis of the basics. Feelings are the body’s signaling system; they tell you how you feel about what is happening to you now.

For example, if you are angry, this is a signal that your boundaries, values, or safety have been violated. Anger signals and provides energy for action. And envy, for example, communicates some important but unsatisfied need.

Based on feelings, we can build relationships so that they bring us joy and satisfaction. Don't ignore them, but listen and take them into account.

Rule seven: nothing is obvious.

Yes, yes, that's right! “What is obvious to A, alas, is absolutely not obvious to B and seems completely ridiculous to C.” (Isaac Asimov).

Does it seem obvious to you that the man should always call first? You don’t call, you wait for him to call, you get offended, and when you meet, you express your dissatisfaction with him? All this may not happen if we accept the fact that this rule is not obvious and fair to everyone. For you - yes, but for your man it is wild and incomprehensible, because in his parental family the one who was the first to miss you always called first. And for him the rule “if you miss him, call” will be obvious, and if you don’t call, then he will rightly assume that you don’t miss him at all. And he will also be offended by you.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

There is nothing obvious, everyone has their own picture of the world, the ability to be interested in it and compare it with yours is an excellent skill for a communication genius!

Rule eight: don't interpret, ask.

Because see points 5 and 7. If you suddenly think that you can guess what the person opposite you is silent about now (he probably noticed that you have a stain on your tie, and already feels hostility and disgust towards you), then it’s better to check. Suddenly he thinks about how boring he spent the evening yesterday.

Rule nine: conflict is not scary.

There are no conflict-free relationships. And if you and your partner have no conflicts, then you are not in a full-fledged deep relationship, but in some other process. Conflict does not always mean a quarrel, no matter how obvious it may seem (see point 7).

Conflict may not be an act of aggression, but a way to move to a new level of relationship. It can provide clarity and enhance mutual understanding.

Having a quality conflict means coming to a compromise, reaching an agreement and strengthening trust. Therefore, conflict for your health.

Rules of communication– these are norms and canons of behavior accepted in a particular linguistic and cultural community that regulate the communicative relationships of people. They are divided into norms of verbal influence and normative ones. The rules of verbal communication solve the problem of how to conduct a conversation more effectively, and the normative ones answer the question “how to do it correctly.” The rules of communicative interaction reflect ideas formed in society about the correctness of conversation in each communicative situation. They help make the conversation more productive.

The rules of communication were developed by society in the process of evolutionary progress of people and are supported by the sociocultural customs of this society. The rules of communicative relationships are mastered by individuals through observation and imitation of the environment, as well as through targeted training. There are rules that are well understood by subjects, so they are implemented in communications almost mechanically, i.e. without conscious control. Having mastered the basic rules of communication, you can use them consciously to achieve the established goal in communications, which will give a significant advantage in the conversation to the individual who knows these rules.

Rules for communicating with people

The norms and rules of communication are conventionally divided into stereotypical and creative, and they appeared as a result of the humanization of communication. In the process of development, the rules of communication interaction are constantly changing, and a person has to obey changing conditions in order for communication to be effective and not useless.

An individual who masters the art of communicative interaction always advantageously attracts the attention of others. The effectiveness of the conversation is, first of all, influenced by the speaker’s speech, which must be clear and expressive in order to avoid getting into an awkward position. Speeches and individual remarks should be delivered at an average pace and voice volume. Speech that is too quiet will cause boredom, and speech that is too loud will make your interlocutors feel uncomfortable. Therefore, speech should have regularity, average volume and softness.

Below are the basic rules for communicating with people that will help you come across as an interesting and pleasant interlocutor and a person who knows how to support any conversation.

In any communicative interaction with an individual, attention should be focused directly on the speaker and his message. To maintain a conversation and demonstrate your interest, you need to periodically clarify your correct understanding of the content of the conversation and its nuances. It is necessary to inform the speaker in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

The rules for communicating with people include the following: it is not recommended to interrupt the interlocutor, give him advice, criticize him, summarize his speech, or be distracted by preparing a response. This is best done after receiving the message and clarifying it. The sequence of presentation of information should be observed. It is not recommended to move on to new information without making sure that the partner correctly perceived the previous statement. During the conversation, the atmosphere should be trusting and respectful. You need to show respect to your interlocutor.

The rules of communication, in addition to the use of verbal ones in conversation, also include non-verbal tools. The conversation will be more effective when frequent eye contact is established with the communication partner. During a conversation, you need to slightly shake your head in time with your speech. It is better to lower the intonation at the end of a sentence, and before giving an answer to the interlocutor’s remark, you should take a short pause. You can also use other tools that will help you win over your interlocutor. The people with whom you are having a conversation need to be treated in such a way that they feel like smart, pleasant and interesting interlocutors. A sincere smile always attracts people to their own person. Therefore, in the process of communication you should always smile, and in order for the smile to be natural and not seem forced, you need to remember some pleasant or funny incident. A person loves the sound of his name, so you need to remember the name of your interlocutor and when talking, you should periodically address him by his first name or patronymic name (depending on the situation and the closeness of the relationship between the conversation partners).

The sound of the subject's name has a huge impact on him. It was noticed that when conflict situations arise, more frequent mention of the names of those talking allows smoothing out the situation. Often, a name can be the straw that swings a decision in the right direction. A person's name is the most important sound for her in any language. However, before addressing a person by name, you should clarify whether to call him by his full name, or by an abbreviated one. This will increase the speaker's level of attractiveness as an interlocutor. It is still better to address unfamiliar or unfamiliar persons, older people or those occupying a higher level in the professional hierarchy by their first and patronymic names.

Every person wants to feel like a significant person, wants at least something to depend on him. The need to feel like a significant subject is one of the most genuine and inherent human weaknesses, which are inherent in all people to varying degrees of severity. Often it is enough just to give an individual the opportunity to realize his personal significance in order for him to agree with great pleasure to do what he was asked to do.

There are many mechanisms for raising the importance of a communication partner; each individual chooses the most suitable one for himself in a particular situation. Numerous studies indicate that the most pleasant interlocutor is considered not to be the one who is fluent in the art of rhetoric, but the one who listens carefully to his communication partner. We should also not forget that individuals are inclined to listen to their interlocutor only after they have been listened to. Therefore, sometimes all that is needed in order to be listened to and done as you need is simply to give the interlocutor the opportunity to speak out, while showing maximum attention and interest in the interlocutor’s speech.

Rules of speech communication

The main mechanism of communication interaction is speech. It reflects the entire worldview of an individual, his interests, area of ​​activity, hobbies, and cultural level. Almost all communication is carried out through speech. Speech can be called the language system in “action”. That is, it is the use of the language system for the purposes of speaking, broadcasting thoughts and direct communication. Speech differs from linguistic systems in that its nature is psychophysical. This means that the speech apparatus takes part in its production, and its work is regulated by the central nervous system.

Speech is divided into oral and written, dialogic and monologue.

Norms and rules of communication using speech instruments are the knowledge and skills to competently apply the standards of linguistic speech in various conditions, for example, at meetings, conferences, negotiations, in personal conversations, etc.

The culture and effectiveness of verbal communication should be assessed according to several indicators, such as accuracy of speech and its appropriateness, accessibility, expediency, correctness and purity of speech, expressiveness, literacy, diversity, ethics. The correctness of speech lies in the compliance of verbal means with the canons of the literary language. Accuracy of speech means, first of all, the correct and appropriate use of terminology. The appropriateness of speech lies in the precise choice of tone and style of communication. The communicative expediency of speech does not allow rudeness or tactlessness. Speech ethics consists in the use of polite stable expressions, addresses, phrases of greeting, farewell, apology, gratitude, agreement, and praise.

Literacy is considered a core indicator of the culture of speech communications, since an illiterate person is not able to clearly and clearly convey the essence of the message. Illiteracy is expressed in the inability to formulate one’s own thoughts, in the inability to correctly select and use the right words, phrases, phrases and give them the correct grammatical form. Literacy should not be neglected even in conversations with close friends or relatives.

Literacy is especially important in business relationships, when applying for a job, during telephone conversations, in writing, etc. To improve literacy, it is necessary to read more highly artistic literature. Reading books not only helps broaden your horizons, but also allows you to learn how to structure your speech correctly, trains visual memory, helps improve spelling, and allows you to enrich your vocabulary etc.

During a conversation, evaluative statements should be avoided, except those aimed at encouragement. Negative ratings during a conversation, they will cause rejection in response, which will lead to conflict situations, as a result of which the conversation will become ineffective.

Rules for Effective Communication

Communication is an inseparable component of human life. People interact constantly, even with apparent silence they still continue to communicate using gestures, various movements, facial expressions, etc. Effective communicative interaction is considered to be communication in which people strive to understand the thoughts and feelings of their interlocutors, without judging them. That is, effective communication is not just about broadcasting information, but about the ability to listen and understand the interlocutor, speak skillfully and competently, and use tools of non-verbal influence. Everyone develops such abilities of effective communicative interaction individually, following the example of the people around them, mainly parents and teachers. Often, the model of communicative interaction adopted in childhood from parents or other significant adults is ineffective.

We can highlight the basic rules of etiquette in communication, which will make communication interaction with different individuals and in different situations more effective. life situations. The first rule implies that any communication begins with establishing contact with the interlocutor, so you should not neglect it. Without contact with a communication partner, communication will be impossible or will not carry a semantic load. For effective communication interaction, you should speak at the same pace and volume as the interlocutor, you also need to use a similar body position in space, for example, if the interlocutor is standing, then you need to talk to him while standing. This is the second rule of communication etiquette. It is not recommended to use long and florid phrases in speech, using only general words and statements. You should strive to ensure that the speech is specific and significant, so that the communication partner can special labor understand the meaning of the information exactly as intended. The next rule is the mandatory use of non-verbal communication means when speaking, since they are the most important components of effective communication.

Scientists say that only up to 10% of communication consists of words, and more than 90% of communication is given to non-verbal tools, such as body position, gaze, gestures and facial expressions, etc. After finishing the conversation, you should definitely make sure that the interlocutors understood correctly presented information. Another rule is the prohibition of passive perception of information by communication partners. During the conversation, it is necessary to use non-verbal interaction tools and words to make it clear to the interlocutors that they are being listened to and heard.

Today modern world It is structured in such a way that without effective communicative interaction with the surrounding society, it is quite difficult to achieve success in work and life.

Every self-respecting individual who strives for success in life and self-realization should know the rules of etiquette in communication, regardless of his age, status, gender or nationality, or field of activity.

Rules for communicating by phone

Telephone communications, like other types of communicative interaction, have their own rules and norms for conducting a conversation over the phone. Knowledge of such norms will allow you to competently and effectively conduct a conversation and achieve the desired result. If, due to the type of activity, it is impossible to do without communications via telephone, then you should study the rules of communication with clients in order to transform the telephone from a kind of obstacle into your ally. It is necessary to study the rules of telephone communication to such an extent that they become a natural pattern of conversation.

Below are simple rules communicating with clients via telephone.

Rule one presupposes thoughtfulness of the telephone conversation. That is, before making a phone call, you should carefully consider the structure of the conversation, possible objections and ways to work with them, questions and the desired result. Even experienced switchboards, whose entire main activity is related to telephone conversations, always keep in front of them a general outline of the conversation, speech modules, and well-chosen phrases.

If a telephone conversation involves getting acquainted with the company’s services and its offers, then the second rule follows, which implies the need to always keep price lists, presentation materials, etc. on hand.

The third rule is to summarize the dialogue. You should always summarize the conversation. For example, if the conversation covers the delivery of a product, then you should clearly and slowly repeat the place of delivery, date and time, etc.

In a telephone conversation, it is considered optimal to start the conversation in a friendly and gentle manner, and then move on to more energetic speech. You need to end the conversation on a positive note. There is a so-called “edge” rule, which means that the integrity of the impression determines the first and last signals.

During any telephone communication, you should consciously and purposefully work on such sensations that evoke desire in the interlocutor. You should end the conversation warmly and gently in cases where the speaker invites the client to visit their store, office, company, etc. Clear and businesslike, while giving a feeling of stability and security – when it comes to various deliveries. After all, the speaker must give the client confidence in the company’s reliability as a possible partner.

The pace of speech should depend on the interlocutor. If your telephone communication partner speaks quickly, you should slightly speed up your speech rate. If the interlocutor speaks slowly, you should draw out the words smoothly and a little more tightly. Adjusting to the partner will create more comfortable and favorable conversation conditions for the client, which will certainly place him in favor of the speaker. And this means that he will meet you halfway. However, you should be wary of the fact that your partner may perceive your communication tricks as ridicule of himself. Therefore, you should copy your interlocutor very carefully and not too obviously.

You should not overload your partner with information during a telephone conversation. After all, it has long been established that the subject’s RAM capacity is up to 9 units. This means that it is impossible to remember 9 words at the same time that are not connected in a logical chain. Therefore, you should not give your client absolutely all the information you know. By doing this you will only confuse and scare him away, instead of arousing his interest.

When communicating on the phone, it is necessary to maintain feedback with the client in order to partially compensate for the lack of eye contact. This rule involves responding to all the interlocutor’s remarks, but without excessive fanaticism. You can react with the following phrases: “I understand you,” “that’s wonderful,” etc. Such statements will allow the interlocutor to relax and feel more comfortable.

When communicating on the phone, just as in other types of communicative interaction, mentioning the name of the interlocutor is considered effective. Moreover, in a telephone conversation, you should address a person by name as often as possible, which is unacceptable in “eye to eye” communicative interaction.

One more important rule The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is considered mandatory to ask the partner whether it is convenient for him to talk at the moment, whether he has the free time for conversation. This is important so that the interlocutor correctly perceives all the information that they want to convey to him over the phone.

Today, the telephone is an almost indispensable attribute of communication. However, originally created to unite subjects, it now introduces many difficulties in communications. Indeed, in conditions when two interlocutors cannot see each other, it is extremely difficult to show empathy and sympathize with the feelings of the partner, which reduces the effectiveness of the conversation. Therefore, it was to compensate for the shortcomings of telephone communication that the above rules of interaction were developed.