In an effort to win the attention of men, it would be nice to know what they value in women. Men themselves often cannot answer this question and mumble something incomprehensible.
There is one subtlety here that men themselves do not always realize. There are women who are very attractive sexually. The level of hormones, pheromones, body proportions play a role here - pure biology. There is little psychology here. They often fall in love, but long-term relationships do not always arise.
Other women are also attractive as individuals; they are more often chosen as companions. Life isn't all about sex, right?
Surveys of female audiences show that men value:
- Sociability, erudition, ability to carry on a conversation.
- Cheerfulness, cheerfulness, gentle humor.
- Responsiveness, ability to listen, empathize.
- Beauty, sexual attractiveness.
- Gentleness, femininity, kindness, caring.
- Voice timbre. A pleasant voice can compensate for a not too bright appearance.
However, it is not at all necessary to have all these qualities. Practice shows that even one feature can impress and interest a man.
Men's psychology is structured completely differently than yours. What you consider a whim may be fundamental to him. Women's nature is wiser and more flexible; there is no need to compete with him in stubbornness.
It is important for a man:
Feel like a leader. Always pretend that the initiative comes from him. Let him think that he is in charge.
To know that for her he is the one and only. Therefore, he perceives getting close to another man as self-neglect: she got into a friend’s car and accepted an invitation to dance. You need to either hide such moments, or then pay attention to your man: “You are the best for me!”
Understanding and attention to his affairs and concerns. It is very good if you are aware of his affairs and can discuss issues of his career and work.
Give him compliments - men need them too.
A woman must be able to forgive. People who are touchy, vindictive and jealous are not liked. If you want to ruin your relationship, remind you more often about unpleasant episodes.
At the same time, don't allow yourself to be treated with disrespect. Nip rudeness and cheekiness in the bud. By doing this you will increase your status and immediately show your right to your own opinion. And if a breakup occurs, then maybe it’s for the better. Why do you need someone who doesn't appreciate you?
Male psychology is characterized by rank. Therefore, they constantly compare and compete with each other - this is their nature. But each man has his own table of ranks. For one, the main thing is finances, how much he earned, what he bought. For another - intelligence, erudition, knowledge. For the third - physical qualities, sporting achievements. Men are friends on the basis of equality. If there is a big difference within the same values, friendship between men is difficult - different status interferes. But when there are matching ranks in the personal value system, then a teacher on a budget may well be friends with a wealthy businessman if they go to the same gym.
It is important to know about this feature of male psychology, because a companion is also included in the ranking system. That's why men don't like very smart women - she shows superiority in rank intelligence. A rich woman can get along with a poor man only if:
For him, financial status is not the main thing.
In some other way he feels equal or superior.
The latter largely depends on her: if she shows that she appreciates his achievements in an area that is important to him, then the couple can have a long and happy relationship.
The main conclusion: a woman of a higher rank cannot be around, the man will be uncomfortable with her.
In the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears,” the main character hid her social status from her chosen one for a long time, for fear of hurting his pride. And she did the right thing - the crisis broke out immediately as soon as the hero of Alexei Batalov found out the true situation.
At the same time, a low rank makes a woman uninteresting. Everything is clear here, you need to be able to emphasize your strengths and hide your shortcomings. Only cats love gray mice. This is why you don’t need to hold on to someone who neglects you. If he doesn’t point-blank see your merits, don’t expect changes - he’s already listed you as low-ranking. Characteristic phrase: who needs you?! If life among eternal humiliations does not appeal to you, feel free to send him to Hawaii.
Ideal for relationships is to portray a high rank, but at the same time emphasize that the chosen one is even higher. A man will hold on to such a woman because next to her he feels more significant.
Now you know what the calls “take care of men” are based on, and what they really need to be protected from.
Who are you?
So, he became interested and a relationship began. Their character largely depends on the roles that their partners take on. Role behavior in relationships usually gravitates towards a certain stereotype. As a rule, it is not realized. Therefore, there are life situations where people, having broken off an unsuccessful union, immediately look for another partner with the same shortcomings. A vicious circle is formed and, as a result, complete disappointment in all of them: “Men are assholes!”
To build harmonious relationships, you need to be able to change roles. In the theater, the lives of actors playing one role are not particularly valued.
The role of a woman next to a man:
Daughter, object of care, princess. Many men like it, but the emphasized helplessness can get boring. In addition, her own opinion is rarely taken into account - that’s her role. I know better what you need, darling.
Lover, beautiful woman, queen. The embodiment of sexuality. They give her gifts, take her to resorts and entertain her. They love to show her to others, such a woman warms a man’s pride, but she is rarely married.
Mother, mistress of the house. The embodiment of tenderness, care and kindness. However, being overprotective can be annoying.
Partner, friend, comrade-in-arms, soul sister. A wonderful role, ideal for a family business, but partnerships, again, do not always end in marriage. The strength of such a relationship is that you always know what he needs. Strive for partnership in all areas of his life.
Muse, fairy, object of inspiration. Essentially, a creative continuation of the previous role. This was, for example, the Gala for Salvador Dali. Perhaps the most difficult role. But if she succeeds, happiness is inevitable - I'm serious.
The ability to change roles in a relationship is a real art. The more he sees incarnations in you, the less he will look around: “You are everything to me.”
This is what the ideal woman looks like through the eyes of a man.
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. It’s like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You could get any man and have an ideal relationship, and you would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
Every man at least once in his life dreamed of an ideal woman, one who would “match and respond.” Despite the well-known statement that “all men are the same,” every man is an individual. Just don't giggle. And accordingly, our ideals are very diverse. Let's try to find something in common.
High chest, wasp waist, long beautiful legs, and most importantly - the complete absence of a head. This is what is generally considered the masculine ideal of a woman.
Perhaps, at first glance, this is so. There are also many types of options: barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen. And yet...
I want to say right away: a woman should have a head! It is a myth that men love beautiful women! They don't like it. They use it, yes. But they don't like it. On the other hand, no amount of intelligence, originality of thinking and talent can hide unkempt hair, bitten nails and, sorry, hairy legs. I understand perfectly well: no time, no money, no hot water. But you already have a head! And let her, this head, think about who will need your excuses when the man of your dreams passes by. That is, just passing by. No, no, I’m not talking about the fact that women are obliged to constantly wear stilettos, evening dresses and war paint, but you shouldn’t relax completely either.
Situation: you have been looking at a man for some time now. You like him and even look back. That's all. The matter does not move further. And then your friend appears - and in five minutes they are already chatting together about something, in a couple of hours they are kissing, in a couple of months they are getting married. Sound familiar? Why am I doing all this? And besides, if you like a man, then tell him about it! Right in the forehead. Even if he hasn’t noticed you before, he will still think about it. Gone are the days of languid sighs and glances from under eyelashes. Therefore, qualities such as courage, frankness and initiative are, if not mandatory, then very desirable for an ideal woman!
Well, we are stupid, stupid! Even if in response to your initiative he says: “Sorry,” then how much time and nerves you will save for further searches! Fortune smiles on the brave!
Sex. Sex is good. It's bad when he's not there. But if you have memorized the Kama Sutra, this does not mean that you are an ideal lover. Yes, for the sake of variety, sometimes you can try something new like “a flying crane” or “a pig under an oak tree.” But you shouldn’t shock a man every time with your deep knowledge in the field of sex. As life and films for adults show, three or four erotic positions are quite enough. But learn to enjoy them to the fullest!
Men, contrary to popular belief, also feel when a woman is unsatisfied. Hence the complexes. And, of course, a man will be with the woman who allows him to feel like a MAN. So – study, study and study again! Or keep pretending. But then at least it’s high quality.
It's the 21st century. No one is surprised by women with an active lifestyle. Women bosses. Women ministers. Wonderful. Simply wonderful! But if, when you come home, the only strength left is to say: “I’m tired. Shower and sleep!”, don’t be surprised that one day there will be no one to talk to. No matter how or what you do, there should always be enough time for us men. Selfishness? But we are talking about an ideal woman. Home is the place where a man should want to return. And this means coziness and comfort. We men are gentle creatures. It doesn’t matter how this coziness is created - whether you invite a team of “au pairs” or add shine and shine yourself. And you shouldn’t focus on this. “I was washing clothes!” Yes. The machine was washing, and you poured in the maximum amount of washing powder. By the way, at home you shouldn’t forget about your appearance either. A dressing gown can be no less sexy than a couture dress.
Finally, the last thing an ideal woman should not do is teach a man “life.” Believe me, this is the best way to lose him.
So, let's summarize. The ideal woman is well-groomed, with her head on her shoulders, determined, able to give and receive pleasure, create comfort and coziness in the home, always finding time for a man and turning a blind eye to his little shortcomings.
Of course, I didn’t discover any America. All these are long-known truths. It's just worth reminding sometimes. But by and large, we love and hate you just the way you are. And for many years I have been in love with a woman who is not at all like the ideal that I dreamed of in my youth...
We conducted our own survey of men to find out their ideal woman. It turned out that there are about as many ideals as there are men themselves, if not more. From which we can only draw one conclusion: if you are a woman, then you are already someone’s ideal. The only thing left is to find this person.
Stefan, 26 years old, single:“For me, the ideal is Victoria Beckham. Victoria always looks chic and stylish. Wears short Gucci dresses and high heels. She has a good sense of humor. She made a career in show business and fashion!”
Dima, 23 years old, unmarried:“Appearance: height no higher than 168 cm, breasts from size two to four, weight no more than 56 kg, hair on the head like the color of a raven wing, big blue eyes, intelligent, sociable, a little modest - this is my ideal. Clothing style - well-groomed girl; the main thing is that she is not a goth and not a rapper, that is, she does not belong to different communities. Behavior is appropriate! I want her to be sociable, but at the same time not talk about personal topics to strangers. Career: I want her to have a goal in life and achieve it! Education: secondary or higher, the crust is not the main thing for me, the main thing is its knowledge. Hobbies: not professional sports, not parachutes and not knitting.”
Alexander, 24 years old, married:“Unfortunately, I can’t answer for sure. Maybe there are general criteria by which a woman can attract me. For example, a beautiful figure, a pretty face, a cheerful disposition, intelligence. But there are a million combinations of very different qualities that will ultimately still give the same result - ideal! And at the same time, ideal girls can look and behave completely differently. For me, the ideal cannot be just one; the ideal is everything at once and always in different ways. And then you can always correct the person, mold him into what you need..."
All men, without exception, at least once in their lives dreamed of meeting their ideal woman who could give him great happiness. Naturally, every guy has an image of his ideal girl in his head, some may like shy and smart girls, while others may like stern ladies, and some just like narrow-minded blondes, no offense intended.
But still, in some moments, men have common desires and opinions. From all this male psychology, you can put together a small list that can reflect all male desires and requirements for the ideal girl. A man has a clear idea of what appearance and character his chosen one should have.
APPEARANCE OF AN IDEAL WOMAN THROUGH THE EYES OF A MAN
Everyone knows that men love with their eyes, for them the wrapper, that is, the girl’s appearance is very important. I doubt that any of the men around the world dreams of having next to them a girl in a bathrobe, with curlers on her head, unshaved legs and no makeup. A man's brain can evaluate a woman's appearance in a split second and make a verdict - whether she will be rewarded with his attention or not. And here the question arises - what external factors influence a man’s choice?
Hair and hairstyle
It happens that women spend hours in hairdressing salons, but sometimes it is in vain. In an attempt to create a monumental hairstyle on my head in the hope of being noticed, but... According to statistics and surveys of men, they will prefer a girl if she has her hair down rather than with her hair up. Another important aspect is that guys prefer girls with natural hair color.
Face and makeup
Cosmetics help girls emphasize their beauty. Makeup should be done in such a way that it is in moderation, the main thing is not to overdo it and to look like an Indian in the eyes of a man who has gone on the warpath. Dark tones in makeup, and even more so an excess of them, can scare off a man.
Men also really like lips. Most of them will prefer plump, textured and slightly moist lips. As for the eyes, they should have a sparkle (literally).
Figure and forms
Some men like chubby girls with big curves, but unfortunately they are in the minority. In their fantasies, they picture a long-legged and busty beauty with a toned butt and a flat tummy. No matter how they deny it is so. If you have not yet reached the desired level or volume, you should think about the prospect of joining a gym.
Cloth
You will find very few men who will appreciate you wearing a Christina Dior coat or an Armani handbag. For men, this is much more prosaic. They will prefer the combination of taste and style, the one that will highlight all the charms of a woman. And with all this, clothing should not be provocative and impudently hint at a desire to meet. Of course, a man will turn around if a lady in a short skirt passes nearby, but they are unlikely to want to walk next to her by the hand.
This is a description of an image that appeals to most men, but not to all. After all, every man has created his own image of an ideal woman in his head, and these images are undoubtedly different. The fact remains unchanged that the ideal woman through the eyes of men is a well-groomed and neat girl, and after that some specific data is taken into account.
THE IDEAL CHARACTER OF A WOMAN IN THE OPINION OF MEN
Despite the fact that men love with their eyes, they, despite external factors, also take into account the character of the ideal girl, who is endowed with certain qualities. After all, they will have to support a family together, raise children, share all the joys and troubles. According to most men, the character of an ideal girl should consist of the following qualities:
- Submissiveness, complaisance. She will have to respect her man's opinion.
- Shouldn't be overly talkative.
- Tenderness and affection, care and attention. After all, all men are grown children, and each of them dreams of seeing maternal feelings in their woman.
- Smart. But in moderation.
- Must be able to listen and empathize.
- Self-sufficiency and self-esteem. If a woman has low self-esteem, then she evaluates men just as low.
Remember that this image of an ideal woman in the opinion of men is collective. This is an indicator of what men pay attention to in a girl’s appearance and character. And it is built on personal experience and facts from life.
You may not have all these qualities, but you will still be desired and loved. In this case, you will always be ideal for your man.
Oddly enough, for all representatives of the stronger sex, the image of an ideal woman does not coincide with the image of an ideal wife.So, what kind of women are ideal for men?
Beautiful, well-groomed, energetic, smart, able to be, extravagant, artistic, dressing brightly and catchily, flirting and loving to be the center of attention, with beautiful gentle hands that you want to kiss and a regal posture. These fairies of night dreams touch the secret strings in men's hearts and make them tremble with delight and desire.
But these are only the ones we dream about when looking at magazine covers or on the screen. In life, they want to see the ideal woman for the role of wife not only beautiful, but also kind, faithful, gentle, affectionate, capable of compassion, non-jealous, patient, charming, feminine, highly intelligent, often a comrade-in-arms, like-minded person and assistant, capable of give the necessary advice, which is impossible not to listen to, stimulate him to career growth, praise and support. A man will admire a woman who considers him irreplaceable, smart, talented, active, and discusses his problems with him. And finally, they want to see the ideal woman as simply loving. After all, if a woman does not love, she has no interest in life and in those around her, she sees everything in gloomy colors and this makes everyone around her feel bad. A loving woman's eyes shine, she succeeds in everything, even if it is very difficult, love gives her strength and self-confidence, makes her beautiful and warms everyone around with gentle warmth.
But besides this, only for an ideal wife such requirements are put forward as housekeeping, the ability to create comfort, cook well, wash, iron, not conflict with the mother-in-law, take care of the children, without giving them all the attention, so that the spouse does not feel superfluous and forgotten. prepares delicious dishes with joy, trying to please her loved one. But, in order to live up to the ideal of her man, a woman must also love not only her family, but also herself. She must maintain her figure, have time to find time to care for herself, for her hair, which, as a symbol of femininity, has always served as an object of admiration for men, never walk in front of her husband in curlers and with a mask on her face, not wear a cotton robe and simple things that do not cause any desires, underwear. After all, absolutely all men want their woman to be sensual, seductive, sexy and able to love, so that she can dispel the fog of everyday life. She should, without being embarrassed, walk proudly, because, considering herself attractive, she will look so in the eyes of men.
For some men, the image of an ideal woman is distinguished by delicacy, gentleness, a sense of tact, good taste, and the absence of bad habits, while others go crazy precisely because of bitches - who do not limit their freedom, who are always beautiful and passionate, smart and independent, who do not burden themselves with household worries and, in turn, do not demanding from men fidelity and devotion, but wanting romantic dates, trips to theaters and restaurants, flowers and expensive gifts. Well, to each his own! But still, the collective image of an ideal woman in the eyes of men is the image of a woman - a beauty, a businesswoman, a good mother, a wonderful housewife, a delightful lover...
Today we will talk about what is the ideal of a woman for a Russian man and what is the ideal of a man for a Russian woman.
Russians are ordinary people and dream of examples of soul mates with the same beautiful features, in their opinion, as people all over the world. And if for the majority of men everything is quite concrete and straightforward, then Russian women, like women all over the world, are more abstract in expressing their preferences.
An ideal always implies something unattainable in real life, existing somewhere in the imagination. Everyone has their own ideas about what kind of people should be next to them, but in reality, expectations and dreams do not always correspond to the embodied truth of life.
So, what kind of woman do Russian men dream of?
Even without VTsIOM infographics it is clear that the truth that men love with their eyes remains true . Of course, they love beautiful, attractive people (it is possible that everyone has their own standard of beauty). True, people who have lived a little in the world and have had a couple of buckets of bitter experience are already beginning to understand that beauty will not get you far.
And even if some divorce their “older” wives and marry younger ones, another truth may dawn on them: not only should a woman be beautiful, she should be kind, forgiving and... preferably not very smart (so as not to understand too much or even though to pretend). And, in general, the VTsIOM infographic once again confirms this:
37% of respondents honestly said that the priority quality of a woman for men is her attractiveness,
24% - noted kindness, responsiveness, mutual understanding, 18% - dream of seeing an educated, intelligent woman next to them,
14% - homely, economic,
10% value femininity; decency; loyalty,
devotion,
8% each are interested in the inner world and spiritual qualities of a woman;
just as many are looking for an honest one,
sincere, 6% - open, cheerful, sociable.
Reliability, stability, and confidence were noted by only 5% of the men surveyed.
Many people don’t know what to do with an intelligent woman, even those who want to see her around. What is a “smart woman” is also a question, because many women are sure that they are smart.
Smart woman is different from smart woman. Wisdom is a different concept than intelligence. It is probably difficult to get along with a woman who is not so much smart as belligerent, unfeminine and difficult with one who is really smart, who knows everything in advance, sees right through, who cannot be deceived, is stronger than a man, the latter feels it and is uncomfortable.
No matter how much a woman hides her intelligence, a man is often not stupid either, and besides, he wants to be the head, not a pawn. After all, when it is clear that a lady is “playing a fool”, being aware of everything and maintaining insincerity, it is even more unpleasant, it is clear that she is not playing herself for a fool.
Although they dream of being smart, most people get along with those with whom family life is possible... or with those who are very smart and are able to adapt to the needs and character of a man (there are, of course, fewer of them).
As a rule, a charismatic, strong, independent, beautiful, strong-willed woman is capable of building strong family relationships, but the opposite is much more common. It is difficult for them to get along with someone who should be the leader in the family; they will not be able to “conservate” their talents for a long time, sitting at home, washing diapers, cooking borscht: they will fall into depression, cease to be themselves, wither away and in the end will still leave for free fields . And a man who hopes to tame the shrew will only receive an unenviable experience.
It is also possible to combine motherhood and career; this is a more “gentle” option for everyone. And there are many women around who have become good mothers and wives, just at the expense of their careers.
I believe that in modern society priorities are incorrectly set and the younger generation is provided with distorted information about the possibility of choice, or rather about its impossibility. Motherhood is opposed to a career; a career destroys motherhood.
“Experts” are looking for the roots in the masculinization of women and the infantilization of men, that, they say, the weaker sex is forced to fight for life because the real representatives of the stronger sex have disappeared, and relying on someone who is not reliable is absurd. So women go into battle on their own, and cannot juggle a thousand complex tasks at the same time, something suffers, often motherhood.
Other “experts” say that a woman, like a man, needs social fulfillment, and she will not be happy if she realizes only part of herself, that the stronger sex is not very interested in housewives who stand barefoot at the stove all their lives when everyone is around is changing, the world is moving forward, in general, life does not end with borscht.
However, from the experience of those acquaintances who did stand at the stove for at least half their lives, I will say that those who judge are superficial and selfish and have no idea what kind of feat this is.
Men also don’t want to see dummies next to them. But according to surveys from other sources - “which woman would you prefer: attractive or with a rich inner world?” — the majority say with confidence that the first.
For the first impression and the emergence of love, a beautiful wrapper is enough, however, as the same men clarify, there is too little external data to continue the relationship. And they are looking for someone who will have a more complete set of desired ideal feminine qualities, fortunately, the alternative choice is incomparable with the female position.
In general, the mind does not exclude ease of character, sociability, and not falling into depression in the spring and autumn.. Hypochondriacs and those who complain about life are hard to bear by representatives of both sexes, but, of course, hardy women are more courageous and resilient.
Something remains in the middle: periodically stupid, fragmentarily smart, brilliantly wise, forever young, beautiful, homely, never sad female creature.
Opinions of men (from forums) about the ideal of girls: “Smart, very beautiful, blonde, silent, doesn’t ask for money, agrees with everything, calm, homely, loves only me and our child, doesn’t even want to leave the house, the most important thing for her is family and waiting for her husband. She forgives betrayals and never even thinks of committing betrayal herself...”
“..The Ideal Girl should not be older than 23-27 years. Right on her 27th birthday, every girl becomes old and boring.
The Ideal Girl must have a higher education. It is clear that this is actually a drawback, but you have to come to terms with it. A girl with intelligence, but without education, will be tormented by psychological problems about her own inadequacy, and this will distract you from the global problems of humanity in the form of the European Football Championship and new episodes of Comedy Club.
A modest girl of Slavic appearance, speaking Russian, loving lard, dumplings and vodka, and wearing skirts - that’s what you need.”
Blondes are also considered the ideal of beauty by those who posted photos of Ordie Hempburn and Angelina Jolie.
In general, the appearance requirements for men are standard: slim (with different variations), well-groomed, pretty, etc.
By the way, married men also readily answer questions about the female ideal, that is, the ideal simultaneously exists in their heads with the image of their wife, or they still do not stop looking for “the one”, even after acquiring offspring.
According to many men, a woman should not smoke, drink alcohol, or have other bad habits.
She should not command, shout, be domineering, she should be meek, sweet, easily able to find a prestigious job, and it is desirable that she generally be the idle muse of her beloved man, however, if the ideal of a representative of the stronger sex changes, she will be able to quickly grow wings and fly away .
In any case, do not forget the popular phrase “if you want to marry a beautiful, smart and decent woman, you will have to do it three times.”
What kind of man do Russian women dream of?
First of all, about reliability. This is evidenced by the VTsIOM infographics:
In second place (17%) with a large gap from reliability are kindness, responsiveness, empathy,
16% of women surveyed value smart people
educated men, 15% decent,
and only 9% of women focused on the young man’s appearance.
In general, how strikingly different are the ideas about the ideal soulmate of the stronger and weaker sex: what women value in men is in last place in the ranking of qualities that men value in women. Also, everything is reversed in situations with other qualities.
Reliability, which women so actively value in men, has been ranked last in the ranking of the best qualities of an ideal woman by the stronger sex. External data according to which most men choose their companion - women were placed at one of the extreme lines in the ranking of the most important male qualities. In general, women are looking for someone who is reliable and not very handsome, and men are looking for someone who is beautiful and not very reliable (though a little faithful and devoted).
As for appearance, there is a good point: men perceive the object as a whole, women notice the details. Men, implying that a woman should be beautiful, mean that she should be beautiful. What to do for this - women think. Many people do not divide beauties into blondes and brunettes; the overall image is important.
Naturally, many understand that in addition to beauty, such parameters and nuances as a beautiful gait, well-groomed appearance, hair, skin, nails, etc. are important.
It happens that I am driving or walking along the streets of my city - and I notice this thing: many ladies are very attractive, but they are dressed tastelessly or ugly, they slouch, have an unfeminine gait, a dull look, and an untidy hairstyle. There are a lot of combed and cute ones, and at the same time they, of course, look more advantageous, although everyone’s external characteristics may be the same.
I once read on an Internet resource about how a fairly well-known psychologist conducted “Bitchology” courses (explaining how to become a bitch to ordinary women). Various girls came to him, all ready to transform themselves into self-sufficient and independent freaks... But he I started the training by sending some people to wash their hair, get a manicure, and buy more beautiful clothes.
In general, the psychologist said that they are looking very deeply for the reason for their loneliness. Usually in such courses women are simply “divorced”, it’s like instructions to “earn a million in five minutes”, you can’t learn this in a couple of weeks.
What does reliability mean, implied by women as the most desirable thing they want to see in the opposite sex? On Wikipedia - let's turn to encyclopedic sources - it is indicated that “personal reliability is a positive spiritual and moral quality of a person, expressing the stability and firmness of the moral foundations of his behavior. Trustworthiness as a quality of character is considered a virtue, along with honesty, benevolence and justice."
Also, reliability is inextricably linked with responsibility; a reliable person is often associated with a developed sense of responsibility. “Responsibility is the subjective obligation to be responsible for actions and actions, as well as their consequences”, fulfill obligations. achieve a goal, etc.
The position of women, in my opinion, is associated with a certain hopelessness, because in fact, both according to statistics and in fact, there are fewer men than women and even fewer worthwhile men. And although men can counterargue that there are few real women left either, the cause-and-effect relationship rightfully begins with the stronger sex.
The despair of the weaker sex is that many, through evil experience, come to the realization of the unimportance of a man’s appearance, to the priority even over the internal qualities, first of all, of the man’s reliability - “so as not to run away... keep his word, be able to provide, etc.”
The hierarchy of qualities of an ideal man gradually begins to bend, many requests change places, what previously seemed unimportant after a couple of mistakes rises to the pedestal.
A woman already does half the work if she looks good (without vulgarity), by this she shows her activity in terms of desire to find a companion or maintain a relationship. If we assume that a man is a conqueror, then he must show persistence; a woman’s position is more passive, but more significant. Men love with their eyes, but there is another truth: women love with their ears...
Men often (in more than 50% of cases) talk about what they really want, while women imagine a supposed ideal, which is often far from reality. Because in life, ladies often choose men with qualities completely opposite to those that are emphasized as the most important in surveys and conversations. They look for reliable ones, get bored without the strong ones, and fall in love with bandits or lazy people, slobs, irresponsible or unreliable and cute.
Which proves another ancient truth: women often don’t know what they want. They dream of one thing, but choose another... Because they live more by emotions. After all, it is not without reason that love (which is a feeling) often arises in spite of all dogmas and ideals cut out for the frame. As they say, “when you love for something, it’s no longer love”... And for men, it turns out that initially there is a calculation on the basis of which feelings already develop; it is often easier for the stronger sex to control feelings.
And women, no matter how they hide it, but for the most part they are not inclined to make calculations... they want one thing... they think that they want one thing, but they act completely differently and fall in love with someone with whom they did not think of falling in love in a cold mind more often than men.
Moreover, reliability in the understanding of many ladies does not mean the above terms at all, but financial solvency, a “big wallet,” the ability to buy whatever your heart desires or at least much more than is necessary. This is where we get exaggerated models of popular modern relationships: a beautiful, stupid blonde and a wealthy man. He “drinks” her beauty, she is his money.
But we are still talking about another part of the people, the sensible one, where even if there are stupid claims and unclear requests in their minds, on the whole everything is more unspoiled.
For ten girls there are nine boys...
A song from Soviet times states an ever-existing fact: “for nine girls, according to statistics, there are nine boys.”
“According to the State Statistics Committee, in 2010 there were 65.6 million men and 76.2 million women in Russia, that is, a difference of 10.6 million. The number statistically means that for every thousand men there are 1,160 women.”
The expected life expectancy of men is 11-13 years less than that of women (in Russia). At the same time, 1.5 times more boys are born than girls, that is, the former simply do not survive to adulthood, as if nature were conducting experiments in a strong field, or the population is defeated precisely through the destruction and neutralization of men.
Men die more often and at a younger age than women from strokes, heart attacks (the most common cause of death on the planet), there are more male babies with developmental pathologies than girls, boys are less tenacious, boys are 4 times more likely to be affected by this disease, which has been gaining momentum lately. like autism.
And if previously the physical sphere suffered mainly, today mental complications in men and boys are much more common. Women, despite the fact that they are fragile, in the majority endure psychological trauma more easily and are more resilient, perhaps partly this is the effect of a defense mechanism.
In general, much fewer full-fledged, healthy and decent men survive to adulthood than women. As a result, the weaker sex lives by fictitious ideals, and due to the lack of abundance of choice, they prefer those who exist. Men, realizing that women are ready to do a lot for anyone more or less worthy, and realizing that enough women, especially single ones and not knowing what they want, can easily change an unsatisfactory soul mate for another.
Finally, an anecdote on the topic:
“There was one man who avoided marriage all his life, and when he was dying at the age of ninety, someone asked him:
“You never got married, but you never said why.” Now, standing on the threshold of death, satisfy our curiosity. If there is any secret, at least reveal it now - after all, you are dying, leaving this world. Even if your secret is found out, it will not harm you.
The old man replied:
- Yes, I keep one secret. It's not that I'm against marriage, but I've always been looking for the perfect woman. I spent all my time searching, and that’s how my life flew by.
- But is it really possible that on the entire huge planet, inhabited by millions of people, half of whom are women, you couldn’t find one single ideal woman?
A tear rolled down the dying old man's cheek.
He replied:
- No, I still found one.
The questioner was completely perplexed.
- Then what happened, why didn’t you get married?
And the old man answered:
— That woman was looking for the perfect man...«
Questions, of course, for unmarried people.
Men, what is your ideal woman?
Women, what is your ideal man?
