What not to give for a birthday: how to choose a good gift for the birthday boy? Gifts that cannot be given (folk signs) Is it possible to give your own?

Not everyone knows how to choose gifts. This probably requires a special talent.

Women love to receive gifts from men, but many have a very unique approach to choosing a gift for their loved one: from “I’ll give myself” and “only a man should give gifts” to trips to the Maldives.

Is it even worth giving gifts to your man in order to please and demonstrate love, or is it better not to spoil him?

Dear and not so dear

I'll start with the most common one: women often believe that an expensive gift is the best manifestation of love. Only a woman shows love for a man in a completely different way.

I would like to believe that this is rather an exception to the rule, but there are women who are ready to give a man not just the latest iPhone model, but something like a Lexus.

Many women feel that they absolutely have to fit in and social status men, manifesting themselves in the world as they do: through achievements and money.

For such women, an expensive gift to a man is a way of self-affirmation, a signal “look, I’m no worse, I can do it too.” But it is important to understand that such a gift will not bring much pleasure to a man.

And the latter is precisely the feeling that the gift was chosen for a long time, with love, especially with the soul and thoughts of you.

Turn on your imagination
yours Yaroslav Samoilov.

It often happens that what was given to you categorically does not correspond to your ideas about what is beautiful and useful. In this case, you may want to re-gift unnecessary thing to another person. However, how ethical will this be, and what do superstitions say about such actions?

Why shouldn't you re-gift things?

Ethical side of the issue

Having received a gift, you must understand that the person sincerely spent time on you, thought about what would be best to give you, carefully selected the item, presented it to you with joy and excitement. good wishes, honestly hoping that you will like the thing. By giving away a present, you neglect all his efforts and good intentions.

In addition, when giving a gift to another, you risk being caught in such an unsightly act, especially if we are talking about some unusual, rare thing that is not very easy to get. A bright item given to a mutual friend will certainly be noticed by the original donor. And, believe me, in this case it will be very unpleasant for the person.

Moreover, after some time you can easily be asked to put on what was presented to you, show you, talk about the intricacies of its use in more detail, etc. Absolutely, such a situation will also be very delicate.

Finally, if you re-gift items very often, there is always a risk of giving the gift to the same person who previously bought it for you. And this will be a real embarrassment.

As you can see, from the position of the giver, re-gifting his own gift looks very offensive. Just put yourself in his place and then make a decision about the future fate of the thing.

What do superstitions say?

As you know, any thing carries the energy charge of its owner. By purchasing something as a gift, you charge the item with your energy. By handing over a purchase to the recipient, you put your positivity, sincerity, good wishes and other bright feelings. Gifted with kindness, even the most seemingly unnecessary thing can bring joy and happiness to your home.

Therefore, folk wisdom tends to answer negatively the question of whether gifts can be given. Indeed, in this case, you not only reject the good message that the donor shared with you, but also automatically change the energy charge of the thing to negative with your attitude towards it. As a result, such a gift will entail some unpleasant consequences, failures, deprivations, both for you and for the person to whom you are giving it.

When is it permissible to re-gift?

  • Considering the same energetic message contained in the item, it may be worth re-gifting it when you are not sure of the giver’s kindness towards you. Roughly speaking, when you have reason to think that the thing was presented to you negatively. True, here again the question arises: will such a gift bring harm to another person?
  • If the donor himself invites you to do this. The situation, for example, may look like this: your mother bought you a sweater that turned out to be the wrong size. Then she offers to give it to your cousin, for whom it will certainly fit. And you should buy another one in return. It is a completely correct decision, which is equally beneficial and pleasant for all parties.
  • When you are in a really difficult situation with money, but the birthday of a close friend, relative, or colleague is approaching, and you definitely need to give him some kind of gift. Then you simply have no other choice but to give your own gift.

We bring to your attention our other article on a similar issue -

How to gut men Korchagina Irina Leonidovna

Should a woman give gifts?

So, lesson by lesson, we gradually learn what needs to be done in order to receive gifts from a man. We have already learned how to get rid of the fussy Baba Yaga, we have mastered the lessons of wisdom and the gift method of working with information. What else do we need?

One of my wards made a plea: her man stopped giving her gifts, they have been living together for more than six months, and where did the candy-bouquet fuse go?! The woman, let’s call her Luda, remembered her man’s remark and brought it up: “In all this time, you only gave me trousers once,” he told her with obvious reproach.

Should I give him gifts? - she asked me. - And what can I buy with my modest salary? Yes, him ex-wife gave him gifts, generous ones. But she’s a businesswoman! I can't compete with her! And he always sets her up as an example for me.

Let's dwell on the topic of women's gifts for men. We talked about the dangers of giving gifts to men. And in the example just given, this man broke up with his first wife, who gave gifts. Probably not for this reason, but still, I’m sure the gifts played their fatal role. How can this be? Should I give a man gifts and what kind?

Yes, a woman should give gifts too. But there is a big difference in men's and women's gifts. Women's gifts should be inexpensive. In any case, much cheaper than gifts for men. If a woman gives a man the same expensive gifts that are customary to give to ladies, then it turns out to be an underlying competition to see who can outdo whom, who is cooler. As one of our seminar participants wittily put it, it turns out to be a struggle between Nanai boys. Namely, boys, because in this way a woman seems to compete like a man, who will earn more, who will spend the most money. Such competitions with women are unpleasant for men. They hit their male ego. When a man competes with a man, this is normal and correct. There are lights on at men's competitions. But a man never competed with a woman, our civilization developed in a completely different direction, a man and a woman united to prolong the human race. But now women have entered the sphere of production and are beginning to overtake men in all respects. It is still unusual for them and not very pleasant. To this day, some men are wary of taking jobs with female bosses. They also find it unpleasant when a wife earns more than her husband, and when the wife gives expensive gifts, she seems to remind him of his inadequacy. She seems to emphasize her superiority, especially in cases when things are not going well for her. in the best possible way and he is not able to give back. Almost always, such behavior by a woman is perceived as masculine, and men do not need men in skirts. They need soft, gentle creatures called representatives of the fairer sex. And even if this weaker sex is not inferior to men in endurance and in many other ways, still the ups and downs of emancipation should not deprive a woman of her femininity.

Men are still wary of independent women. Either they are disliked, feared, or, on the contrary, they begin to be used. I am not at all against a woman being independent. On the contrary, I am for women’s independence, but we should not stick it out, we should not boast about it and emphasize it at every step. Although there is no point in hiding it either, just as Marya-Morevna in the fairy tale did not hide her passion for battles.

A true anti-bitch knows that women's gifts should gracefully balance between motherly care and female attention. Gifts should be cute, elegant, witty. They should be given for a reason, or even better, without any reason. As a sign of appreciation, love and gratitude. Cute trinkets, but with a lot of meaning.

Essential items are not considered gifts. If, for example, a woman buys a man panties, socks, and warm underwear for winter, this is not a gift. This is maternal care. Such purchases are necessary if there is a stable relationship between a man and a woman, a registered marriage or a permanent partnership. Such care is very much appreciated by men and is also returned to us - in particular with gifts. But this is not enough. You still have to give gifts!

In essence, the anti-bitch does not need to be taught that gifts should be given. She does this because she wants to please her man. But sometimes you need to suggest what to give and what not to give.

WITH underwear We figured it out: this is not a gift, this is a household purchase. However, if this is special lingerie, erotic, then this is a worthy gift, but it is better to give it when you are either officially married to your man or in a stable sexual relationship for at least six months.

Wives can give expensive and substantial gifts as a sign of a special date. For example, in honor of a wedding anniversary. But when a woman begins to give substantial gifts to her man in the third week of dating, he perceives her action as an onslaught, as a threat to his independence. It's better not to do this.

The girl says to her boyfriend: “You’re not very attentive.” During the time that we knew each other, you only gave me a pack of condoms, and you used those yourself.

At the initial stage of dating, it is better to generally give neutral gifts, inexpensive trinkets. It is advisable to coincide with the holidays so that there is a reason. A gift for no reason can scare a man a little. But you should definitely give them, and not even wait for the man to start first. Cute souvenirs will make him think that you are waiting for a gift. In addition, they will remind him of you, of your existence. Originally shaped lighters can be used, if, of course, your man smokes, elegant, witty souvenirs or postcards with jokes. If your man is a car driver, give him a funny glass sticker. You already know how much attention to his vehicle is appreciated. But avoid substantial gifts, and also do not give anything that is perceived as maternal care, in particular underwear. You will only frighten your man, and he will perceive your concern as an attack on his free life.

If you have been married for a long time, especially buy cute gifts for your husband. Let him not forget that the time for gifts has not left your relationship. And it will never leave!

All of the above does not mean at all that gifts should be given according to the principle of a transaction: I give you one hundred dollars, and you give me two hundred. A gift is still an impulse of the soul. At first living together this impulse comes naturally. Over time, this impulse has to be maintained artificially. This is natural, quite natural. Passion subsides, love passes, but you always need to throw logs into the fire of true love, add oil and skillfully fan it! A real anti-bitch does it very skillfully!

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The icon is considered the embodiment of holiness, a symbol of faith. In the depiction of the faces of saints, people see the Almighty Himself, turn to him, talk, and pray. In the home of every Orthodox Christian there is at least one icon; it is revered and protected. And the shrine, in return, helps the household, protects them from troubles and misfortunes. This is a guardian angel, only in earthly incarnation.

In ancient times, it was the icon that was considered the best gift: this is how the giver expressed his strongest sincere feelings. And today the icons have not lost their spiritual value. Therefore, it is believed that giving an icon is a sign strong love and wishes for well-being.

However, when choosing such a gift you need to be very careful and careful, taking into account all the features of gifting. Otherwise, the surprise may disappoint the recipient or even cause him irreparable harm.

In ancient times, it was believed that it was impossible to give an icon under any pretext - this could bring misfortune and misfortune to the recipient’s home. After all, they used to believe that envious people could cause severe damage through the image of a holy image.

The icon was always hung or placed in the most visible place. And if someone damaged her, then the household members who approached her every day involuntarily began to feel a deterioration in their health and a loss of strength.

Today there is no need to be afraid of a donated icon because of damage, especially if you are confident in the intention of the person who gives it. Are close relatives or best friend will they give the icon with bad intentions and for their own benefit? If you are completely confident in the giver, feel free to accept such a gift.

There are other signs as to whether it is possible to give an icon as a gift:

  • For example, giving it to a child means blessing him for life, making him happy.
  • It is presented to the sick person as a symbol of recovery. There are many cases in history when it was the face of a saint on an icon that helped a person overcome a seemingly incurable illness.
  • It is forbidden to give an icon embroidered or painted on your own - the face of a saint can absorb negative thoughts and transmit them to the recipient. Then troubles will come into his life.

In general, it is allowed to give an icon according to signs; it is only important to do it with a bright heart and good intentions. IN bad mood or with unkind thoughts, it is not recommended to even choose such a gift.

Church opinion

Clergy - the icon will be a great gift for any event or for no reason at all. This is a very deep manifestation of the most sincere and kind feelings. In addition, it will turn into a personal talisman for the person until the end of his days. All priests are also confident that the icon is capable of expelling anger, malice, and envy from the human soul.

The Church has approved such gifts since ancient times. But not everyone could afford to buy such a gift: icons were decorated with gold or silver and were very highly valued.

Nowadays, even a simple paper face in a wooden frame is in no way inferior in significance and holiness to golden images. Therefore, it is possible to give an icon, even a modest one in design, the church approves of such a gift.

The main thing is to consecrate it before giving the gift. It’s even better if you consult with the priest in the church when choosing images.

Which icon to choose for a birthday, christening or wedding

Each celebration is filled with its own special meaning, so the gift must be appropriate. Especially if it is a real shrine. So what icons are suitable for this or that holiday and how to give them correctly.

For the newlyweds' wedding

It is customary that only the parents of the newlyweds present a newly-made family with an icon. Good gifts would be images that were given to the parents themselves as a wedding gift, as a symbol of family continuity, happiness and prosperity. It is believed that images passed on from a family of parents to a family of children on a wedding day have incredible power.

The following icons are considered very appropriate:

  • "Our Lady" and "Saint". They give new family mutual understanding, harmony, protect from quarrels and discord.
  • "Peter and Fevronia." A famous couple who carried their love throughout their lives will bring the newlyweds sincerity of feelings, respect for each other and lasting happiness.
  • Feodorovskaya icon Mother of God. This image is presented to newlyweds with concern for future children. The image helps to conceive a baby, carry it safely and give birth easily - strong and healthy.

You need to give an icon during a wedding with words of respect and wishes for advice and love to the newly-made family. According to tradition, the bride and groom must kiss the faces of the saints three times and kiss their foreheads. After this, cross yourself.

For your birthday

According to some signs, the birthday person on his birthday is the most vulnerable, both physically and mentally. Is it possible to give icons for a birthday in this case? It turns out that the image is not just a birthday gift - it is a talisman, a talisman, protection from troubles for life. Therefore, you need to approach the choice of such a gift with special care.

There is a strict restriction on which images should be given to men and which ones should be given exclusively to women. Let's figure it out.

What icon to give to a man:

  • Image of Saint Nicholas. Suitable for those who travel a lot, travel, and go on business trips.
  • "Guardian Angel". It will protect a man from evil, adversity, and help him cope with temptations. This is a universal icon, it is suitable for everyone.
  • Savior Not Made by Hands. It is given to those men who, for some reason, rarely attend church.
  • Saint George the Victorious. She will help you cope with any problem and guide you on the right path in your professional and personal affairs. He is also the patron of all military personnel.

What icon to give to a woman:

  • Kazan Icon of the Mother of God. It will help you find well-being in your family and heal you from illnesses.
  • Bethlehem icon. Suitable for those ladies who dream of a happy marriage and children.
  • Vladimirskaya. A very strong icon for women-mothers: it helps those praying for their children.
  • Icon of the Mother of God “Three Hands”. It will rid the house of bitterness, anger, enmity, and protect the whole family from any adversity.

For christening

The most appropriate and necessary gift for the baptism ceremony is considered to be an icon. You can give a godson or goddaughter a personalized icon: the face of the saint is written on it in accordance with the name of the girl or boy they were given at baptism.

For example, Olga can be safely given the icon “St. Olga”, Ivan – “John the Baptist”. This image will protect the baby from unkind people and will protect him in any situation.

In the old days, godparents also gave the baby a measured icon - its size was exactly the size of the child at the time of baptism. Now they are made to order, consecrated and presented after the baptism ceremony has been completed.

Usually such a gift is placed above the crib so that the baby can see the face of the saint, involuntarily look at each other and communicate with the guardian angel.

It is appropriate to give icons to a boy and a girl for christening: “Matrona of Moscow”, “Our Lady”, “Panteleimon the Healer”.

For the wedding

The wedding ceremony is considered the highest degree of manifestation of the love of a husband for his wife. Such a marriage is sanctified by heaven, so there is no place in it for quarrels, abuse, disagreements, or betrayals. The best gift for such an event is an icon depicting holy couples.

Only father and mother can give the newlyweds the icons “The Saint” and “The Mother of God”, as well as “Peter and Fevronia”.

Everyone else can give the husband and wife icons that will patronize the young family. For example, "Unexpected joy." This image will help spouses live in love, happiness and mutual respect. for many years, and also grants protection from troubles and adversities to their future children. It is better to place such an icon in the bedroom.

The most powerful shrine for newlyweds is considered to be “Matrona of Moscow”. You can ask this saint for health for the whole family, prosperity, deliverance from evil and envy. Matrona also helps with conceiving a child.

For housewarming

The icons of “The Intercession”, “The Unbreakable Wall”, “Apostles Peter and Paul” will help protect the house and maintain comfort in it; you can also give icons depicting Christ, the Mother of God and St. Nicholas the Wonderworker as a housewarming gift.

How to choose an icon as a gift

The Church believes that giving icons is a rather complicated and very delicate matter. After all, if you give a person an image of a saint about whom he knows nothing, you can put the recipient in an uncomfortable position. Therefore, we need to clearly understand to whom and why we present such a holy gift.

Here is a short “guide” to choosing an icon as a gift for family and friends.

To a woman

  • “Fading Color” is one of the most favorite patron icons among women. External grace, youth, chastity - this is the meaning of this face.
  • "Upbringing
  • “Pokrov” is a strong icon for protection, because any woman is a gentle creature that needs constant care.
  • Icon “St. Euphrosyne the Cook” - such a gift is appropriate for good housewives who love to cook. All dishes in the company of Euphrosynus will become even tastier.

To a man

  • Nicholas the Wonderworker will protect those who drive a lot and love to travel.
  • Saint Joseph of Volotsk - this image is suitable for business men. This is the patron saint of entrepreneurs and business.
  • Saint Tryphon - you can give an icon with his face to a man who is fond of hunting. But any man can - after all, everyone by nature is a hunter, a getter, a conqueror.

To mom

  • The icon “The Mother of God” is the best gift for mom. Thus, the icon of the Vladimir Mother of God helps to get rid of fears, troubles and misfortunes. And the icon of the Kazan Mother of God is an intercessor in sorrows and sorrows.
  • “The Queen of All” - this face bestows healing.
  • “Unexpected joy” is a symbol of spiritual rebirth. She helps any wish come true unexpectedly.

To dad

  • The icon of the Holy Great Martyr George the Victorious is suitable for a man who is active and engaged in business.
  • The icon “Holy Apostle Andrew the First-Called” will help a fishing enthusiast with a good catch.

son

  • If a child is studying at school, the best gift will be an icon with the face of Sergius of Radonezh - he is an assistant in studies.
  • If your son is going to enter university or is already a student, the image of St. Tatiana will become his patron.
  • In the army, Saints George the Victorious or Archangel Michael will help his son and intercede for him.

Daughters

  • The “Tenderness” icon can be an excellent gift for a young lady who dreams of great love.
  • To preserve youth and a blooming appearance, a young girl will find images of St. Xenia of St. Petersburg or Paraskeva Pyatnitsa suitable.

How to accept an icon as a gift

It is very important to accept the icon with a bright feeling, with a smile and reverence. And to thank for such a gift not only the one who gives it, but also God: you need to put your forehead to your face and cross yourself.

If you are sure that the donor wishes you only happiness, you can safely accept the icon. If a shadow of doubt creeps in, it is better to take it to church and perform the rite of consecration there.

You cannot throw away, re-gift or burn an icon - this is considered a very serious sin. If you can’t shake the feeling that you want to get rid of such a gift, you just need to take it to the church, talk to the priest and leave it in the temple.

You should treat an icon as a gift very carefully: you need to give and accept such a gift with bright feelings. Then the holy face will protect the family of the recipient for many years.

You won't believe it, but men are also superstitious people. And knowing the signs will help you make a gift for them. You cannot present socks to a man based on them. Why - you will find out from the article.

In the article:

What you can’t give a man - signs about gifts

Believes that You can’t give anything related to medicine- vitamins, medicines, blood pressure measuring devices. This is a sign of illness and poor health. The exception is a gift to a physician from a colleague, and then only when they begin to use it for its intended purpose.

Giving a man a photo in a frame means separation. Do not give your own or joint ones. Such a gift will seem romantic and memorable. But he doesn’t promise a future together.

Men are not given rings. This sign applies to relatives, friends and spouses. Men, according to legend, buy rings for themselves. Giving it as a gift means parting with it after a huge scandal. This also applies to watches. When you want to give a branded watch or ring, give money to purchase it.

They don't give mirrors - bad omen, and not just for men. Such a gift is directly related to magic, and you should not accept it - no matter what gender the person is. It is also given out of ignorance, but the mirror is presented to establish a connection between people, to cause damage and other unpleasant things.

Cold steel is considered a great gift for any man. But signs say that nothing good can be expected from such a gift. Donated knives, sabers and other edged weapons bring troubles and quarrels into the life of the one who accepts this gift. But you can make such a gift, but the recipient gives a symbolic amount for it to the donor. Superstitions also consider things that have nothing to do with them to be edged weapons. These are cutlery - forks and knives, needles, scissors and other metal things.

You also cannot give handkerchiefs and towels. Orthodox folklore claims that such gifts lead to tears and grief. Also cloth napkins are prohibited in table setting sets.

Is it possible to give flowers to men?

The answer to this question is yes when it comes to etiquette. But a woman should not be given such a gift when the man is younger - it is impolite.

A stranger is allowed to give flowers when participating in a theatrical performance or performing at a concert. They give flowers to birthday people. Etiquette allows you to present bouquets to your husband or boyfriend for any occasion.

Folk omens prohibit giving the stronger sex flowers in pots. According to legend, you cannot give carnations. These flowers are often placed on graves. Accepting such a bouquet is a sign of imminent death.

When giving roses, remove all thorns. Then flowers will bring positive things, while being pricked by a rose is a negative sign. You cannot choose yellow flowers - daffodils, and when it comes to your spouse, unwanted burgundy and red ones are a sign of divorce. Poppies and dried flowers are prohibited.

What gifts should not be given to a man - signs for wives

Signs tell in detail about what should not be given to a man. Separate Negative signs can be turned to your advantage. There are socks for a man. The one who gives such a gift will stop communicating.

Don't give men socks.

When you have a friend with whom you are not comfortable communicating, persuade her to give your husband socks for one of the holidays. Daughters-in-law who know the signs also deal with overly annoying mothers-in-law. When they offer to give your husband socks, it makes sense to think about the intentions of the one who offers it - he wishes the family quarrels and discord.

A wife should not give underwear to her husband. This foreshadows betrayal. Such gifts are not given either before or after the wedding. This is allowed to a blood relative.

What gifts should you not give when it comes to your spouse? Alcoholic drinks are not recommended. They are presented to colleagues and friends. For the husband it portends alcoholism. Omens do not prohibit giving alcohol to relatives - a gift is considered official, acceptable for a boss or business partner.

What can you give a man - signs with positive meaning

Among the things that are allowed to be presented to a man, a tie stands out. But they give it for the specific purpose of tying it to themselves. It is made for a tie. Therefore, do not be surprised when the gift is not accepted. This also applies to scarves.

If you want to attract a man's love, give him a tie.

Paired pillows are a great gift idea for a family man. They bring peace and harmony. Pillows are also given to a lonely friend or relative so that he can quickly improve his personal life.

A picture with any intuitively pleasing image will definitely not bring any trouble. This also applies to boxes, but when donated, a purely symbolic coin is placed in them. So that the husband listens to his wife and understands whether to give her a pen or sunglasses.

There are many gift ideas that have a positive meaning. Certain gift ideas are prohibited by signs - so as not to ruin the life of yourself and the recipient. When you decide to give something that is not recommended by superstition, take money from the recipient.