Hello, our dear readers! This article will tell you about the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman. About what the relationship is based on. Why do some men have mistresses? And how to create and maintain a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman.
Relationships between a man and a woman: conscious and unconscious sides! A family psychologist who has been working for more than 11 years explains to us the subtleties in the relationship between a man and a woman!
Relationships between a man and a woman: a psychological point of view
In fact, relationships are heaven and hell at the same time. They give incomparable happiness. They take all the strength and exhaust both men and women. This is because relationships are often viewed incorrectly by one or both partners. In fact, people with completely different personalities can build truly ideal relationships. They just need to know what they are willing to give to their partner. And what do they want from their partner?
Difference in the worldview of partners
The psychology of a man in a relationship with a girl undoubtedly differs from the same girl’s concept of relationships. But why? After all, the goals of the relationship are the same for both:
- Physical satisfaction
- Spiritual growth and expansion of worldview
- Starting a family and having children
- Social position and status
- Financial stability
- Moral support
The root of the problem is not the goals. Even if now the girl wants children, but the man does not, time will pass and he will want too. And so in everything - because all these points are necessary for a person to have a harmonious and happy existence. It’s just that a man and a woman see ways of achieving these points differently.
Psychological comfort
Alas, in relationships, selfishness primarily works. Psychology says that men in relationships with women are often afraid of being used. Because they were taught in childhood about an incomprehensible eternal “debt” to the whole world. And that he is forever obliged to give it back.
The little girl also always listens that “that boy over there needs to smile, then he will share the candy.” And that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, and happiness in the world does not exist at all. Naturally, an adult woman, without knowing why, always tries to “extract” as much as possible from her man. With all our might. Otherwise, it seems to her, he will use it for free.
And so the psychology of the relationship between a man and a girl comes down to the fact that everyone pulls the blanket over themselves. Partners feel comfortable only knowing that they received more than they gave.
But Love is giving. Therefore, relationships even based on real feelings fall apart.
Male "Yes" and female "No"
Both sexes, due to their characteristics, upbringing, and needs, build communication differently. But the psyche is a delicate thing. And the same settings act differently for everyone.
A man “should” pursue a woman, in a sense, force her to be happy. As if through her “I don’t want.” Here is a woman who plays hard-to-get and stubborn, even when she doesn’t need to. Even to the detriment of relationships. Society has instilled this in her, but she doesn’t know about it.
A man is essentially a hunter. But have you seen a hunter who only hunts and that’s all? Doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, doesn't make love, doesn't read, doesn't go for walks - but only hunts?! Sometimes a man enters into a game of “pretense.” Sometimes not. He is not obligated to listen to whether his wife is pretending to refuse or really doesn’t want something.
The situation is complicated because as soon as a woman stops “resisting” a man, he will perceive her as approachable and boring. Even if they have been together for many years. This has been instilled in him by society, but he doesn’t know about it.
When relationships are built not according to the “I am for happiness with a partner” type, but according to templates, they collapse. And no one is to blame for not being able to understand the absurdity of their perception in time. In general, the psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman loses a little. A man often gets tired of difficulties, it’s easier for him to just give up everything and leave. A woman is able to endure more twists and turns, but she often herself does not notice that she creates them.
What is freedom
It just so happens that the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman strives for freedom. And partners don’t know what freedom is in a relationship. The wife thinks that she can freely spend her husband's money. To the husband - that he can sleep with whomever he wants. As a result, everyone is left with a broken heart, and having lost the freedom of their personality altogether.
If we analyze the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman, it turns out that happiness lies in devoting oneself to another. While maintaining your freedom. It looks like this:
- Both are attentive to each other, can put aside their own affairs to listen to each other
- Both have their own business, passion, hobby
- A partner helps a partner reach new heights in his career, in social status, without demanding payment for this - simply being proud of the success of his loved one
- Partners are always grateful - to their efforts in the name of the relationship, to their sacrifices, to their mistakes
- Partners have the right to their own time - she goes with a friend to the cinema without her husband; he goes with friends to fix his car, but she doesn’t call him every five minutes
- The partners share responsibilities: he washes the dishes to make it easier for her, she shines his shoes so he can get to work
- All efforts in a relationship are assessed in terms of benefits for the partner: is it worth buying a fishing rod if your wife doesn’t have warm boots? Do you need a manicure if there is no meat in the refrigerator?
- Partners constantly overcome themselves, learn to trust and keep their promises
And if the husband thinks that his freedom is in debauchery, then he takes a mistress, and also blames his wife for not keeping him. Although the psychology of the relationship between a man and his wife is simple: someone who does not want to leave cannot be taken away. Anyone who wants happiness will work to achieve it.
Why do men have mistresses?
Not everyone understands the psychology of a man’s relationship with his mistress. Sometimes he himself doesn’t understand. It rarely, very rarely happens that he simply falls madly in love with another and leaves for her, realizing that he can no longer be with his wife. But most often the scenario is completely different:
- By cheating, a man breaks the stereotype that causes him suffering - that he is obliged from birth to tolerate his wife
- The man is tired of life's difficulties; the mistress gives a feeling of removal of responsibility
- The wife has really neglected herself, and next to her the husband feels like he is withering
- A man wants status among other men - it’s a sign of cool to have a mistress
- The man was not going to try for the relationship from the very beginning and he does not care about his wife
- A man likes to deceive two women at once - he is such a fatal handsome man!
And the psychology of a man in a relationship with his mistress becomes, as it were, liberated. Temporarily - then he will become entangled in lies and begin to suffer from persecution mania. But he doesn't know that yet.
He takes away the right to solve problems, and leaves himself the right to leave if he wants. He gets a lot of sex - and thinks that's what he's been missing. He gives easily because he thinks he gives out of his generosity. Intoxicated by the absence of problems, he allows himself to be manipulated even more. When he “wake up”, usually no one needs him anymore.
Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman: conclusion
The entire psychology of the relationship between a man and his girlfriend is aimed at achieving happiness. And happiness is achieved through overcoming difficulties. Partners in a relationship don’t want to develop because they don’t understand how to do it. But everything is so simple! Love your partner - and try to make him happy. Even if sometimes you don’t want to strain yourself.
Be happy! See you again!
According to tantric teachings, when a man meets a woman, an exchange of energy begins between them.
It is natural for a man to be charged with energy from above (ideological), and for a woman - from below (energy of power). To bring an idea to life, a man needs to be “charged” with feminine power. And a woman, since she is a “bank” of energy, is not able to spend it for action, but only gives it away, because she receives the type of energy she needs only in the process of interaction with a man.
There is always an exchange of energies between the stronger and weaker sex. As soon as a boy is born, he already has a mother who inspires him, giving him her maternal love. Then he meets his first, second love, a pretty employee at work - in all representatives of the fair sex, a man strives to find that very source of energy, filled with strength from which he can successfully realize himself in life.
Then, when a love relationship begins between a man and a woman, the woman gives herself (not only physically, but also taking care of her loved one, morally and intellectually), and the man, receiving feminine power, is able to create and take active actions in life.
Everything is clear with this, but this is only the initial stage, during which energy does not flow yet, because the exchange itself does not occur. Having been filled with the necessary feminine power that allows him to embody his ideas, a man should return energy to the woman (in the form of gifts, financial care, physical assistance), in such an amount as to inspire his lady to further return.
And this interaction is constant.
Energy connection between a man and a woman
When people feel sympathy for each other, they actively exchange their energies and this process gives them mutual pleasure. When contact occurs between the biofields of two individuals, channels are formed through which energy circulates from one side to the other.
These streams can vary in color and shape (they can be seen by people with extrasensory abilities).
Partners are connected through these energy channels through one or another, based on the type of their communication:
- by – family relations;
- by – relationships like lovers, married couples or friends for easy pastime;
- by - family ties, relationships between colleagues at work, bosses, friends in sports hobbies - those people with whom you are forced to compete;
- By - this type of connection will tell about relationships in which objects interact with each other emotionally - these are the people towards whom we feel love. But for the relationship between a man and a woman to be harmonious, it is important that they have a well-developed channel of sexual energy;
- by – relationships between like-minded people, work colleagues;
- by - often communication through this channel speaks of copying one’s idols, leaders of sects and various organizations. The hypnotic channel is well developed; other people's thoughts and ideas are suggested. People are connected to each other by telepathic communication
- according to – the connection is present only at the level of egregors (collective, family, religious and others).
And the more both partners show their interest in each other, the more extensive the energy channel is formed between them. And with the establishment of strong relationships, it is observed.
This is how love relationships are formed, over which neither time nor distance will have power. For example, a mother always feels her child, no matter where he is, even if a lot of time has passed since their last meeting.
In a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, clean, bright, pulsating channels are formed. Then the partners trust each other, they are sincere, but at the same time maintain their personal living space. In this case, we can talk about equivalent energy metabolism, without disturbances.
And if the relationship is unhealthy, for example, one of the partners becomes dependent on the other, then the channels become dim and heavy. In such a relationship there is no freedom; lovers often show irritation, aggression and anger towards each other over time.
When one of the partners wants to take complete control of the other, the aura is observed to wrap around from all sides.
With the death of a relationship, the same thing happens with the channels - they become thinner, weaker. After a long period of time, the movement of energy through the channels stops and people become as if they were strangers, as if nothing had connected them before.
And if a separation occurs, but the energy channels are preserved, then people continue to be drawn to each other. This scenario may also happen when one of the former lovers breaks the energetic connection and closes off from subsequent influences, and the second continues to restore the relationship, breaking through his layer of energetic protection.
Energy connection between people during sexual contact
If there was a close relationship between people, the channels do not collapse for a long time after separation. This is especially pronounced during sexual contacts.
When we enter into sexual relations with a new partner, a new channel is formed along the sexual chakra. Such channels remain active for a very long time (for years, and sometimes they remain active even throughout life).
In this case, it does not play a significant role whether the sexual partners managed to get to know each other sufficiently or whether their connection was fleeting (at a party, at a graduation, etc.), the energy channel along the sexual chakra will still be formed and will be active for a very long time.
And if there is a channel, energy continues to circulate through it. And whether it will be positive or negative, you can only find out about this if you know both partners well.
An interesting feature is that people living together typically adjust their energy shells relative to each other. For harmonious intimate relationships, synchronization of biofields is necessary. That is why, often lovers, when they live together, over time acquire similarities with each other (often even physical).
When a person does not want to contact anyone, he closes the circuit of his own, as a result of which all energy flows emanating from those around him are reflected. Then other people feel like they are not being heard.
Features of male and female energy in a couple
As mentioned above, in the case of mutual feelings between lovers, a single energy field arises, which will be maintained in the future if the conditions of the partnership are met. A couple will become stronger if both partners fill their union with their energy, supporting both themselves and their beloved.
A very important point is that each of the partners must act based on their nature: the man - like a man, and the woman - like a woman.
For example, when a woman develops masculine energy in herself, manifesting herself in the physical world like a man, then if she lives alone, perhaps this will not affect her well-being. But, being in a couple’s environment, her man will be forced to develop a feminine demeanor (the same rule applies to men).
In general, in a couple, the man is responsible for the world of material wealth, and the woman is responsible for sensual manifestations and the atmosphere of the relationship as a whole. Therefore, a man gives energy through the material chakra, and a woman receives it, and she, in turn, gives energy through the heart chakra.
This was how nature intended it to be and actions against it will negatively affect the condition of the partners individually and the couple as a whole.
Men and women are so different that it is amazing how they can be together. But this maddening cocktail of vulnerability and power, confusion and confidence, the powerful spirit of the stronger sex and the tenderness of the fair sex is able to unite two hearts seeking love. Any relationship between man and woman and them psychology boil down to ensuring that a certain emotional maturity is achieved and a union based on love and understanding is built.
These two components are very important for a couple seeking to find happiness. In a strong union, partners must become self-sufficient. Only this quality will help you develop destructively, constantly improve personal growth and build a family with common goals and outlook on life.
But to do this, you need to understand how to behave in a given situation so that the development of relationships occurs in the right direction.
Why should we be together
Much has been said about the attraction of opposites. And the deep meaning of this expression once again emphasizes the union of a man and a woman.
- Their purpose is to complement each other, creating a single inextricable association.
- Both partners exchange those qualities that the companion walking next to them lacks.
How to build trusting relationships
A woman is able to fully reveal herself only when a strong and intelligent man is nearby. Although, in some cases, relationships hurt. But this happens due to the fact that a person completely opens up and bares his body and soul, becoming completely defenseless in front of his chosen one. This is how and only this way real, long-term and serious relationships are built.
Why do we need family?
When it comes to the question of why two loving hearts create a family, people are divided into three types:
- Some believe that simple biology contributes to this development of events. Prolongation of the family line, offspring - these are the main factors preceding this happy union. But this psychology of relationships between partners is more similar to relationships in the animal world.
- Others bring the issue of convenience to the forefront. Such individuals enter into serious relationships solely for security and benefit. They believe that it is simply more interesting to spend time together.
- Still others are looking for meetings with representatives of the opposite field for their own development. In such relationships, the man acts as a teacher, and the woman forces him to constantly change and improve.
Based on this, it is safe to say that everyone looks at the beginning of life together in their own way, since we are all individual.
Ideal relationships presuppose the presence of harmony and mutual understanding, which should accompany the highest feelings. But at some moments events do not develop according to the scenario planned by the lady, but she knows for sure that it is “he”, so she studies all possible tricks in order to study his psychology in more detail.
But do not forget that this “conquest” must continue throughout the entire life spent together. Your art of building relationships between a man and a woman from a psychological point of view should be so well honed that your beloved does not realize that you caught him on the bait.
- The powers that be do not tolerate being victims, as they consider this a sign of weakness.
- Even after starting a family, they value their freedom very much, while women love to feel like they are “behind someone,” to lean on a strong shoulder.
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Being married, ladies feel their safety and necessity; she is very pleased that they chose her.
- Cavaliers are hunters, they love to constantly catch up and conquer. Seeing the goal, they do not observe the obstacles - that’s what can be said about them. But, naturally, the designated goal should attract and beckon to itself, fueling his interest.
- For this, a woman does not necessarily have to have an ideal appearance and perfect character traits. It is important to create a certain energy aura around yourself.
Who are we looking for in life?
It is worth remembering what kind of person you would like to be with.
Important masculine qualities for women
We feel good and comfortable with:
- sincere,
- moral,
- cordial,
- decent,
- friendly and easy to talk to.
Try to understand, do you make such an impression on others?
A woman is a combination of kindness, affection, tolerance, delicacy, fortitude and confidence.
And, despite the fact that she is considered to be the weaker sex, keep in mind that for this you must have enviable strength.
- Soft and gentle communication with others is possible only if you have firm principles about important things.
- A confident person will definitely attract attention. This is a necessary character trait that should be present in both men and women.
- Know how to find valuable characteristics in yourself, understand yourself and communicate honestly with your inner self.
- A worthy partner will definitely be interested in a strong-willed but gentle woman who can become both a lover and a friend.
Stages of relationship development
In the first days, weeks or months, hormones rage in the souls of lovers, and pink hearts flicker before their eyes. But try to soberly assess the situation. In any case, you will definitely have to go through the main points that are inevitable in the communication of any couple.
Main phases of relationships
| Relationship phases | How it proceeds |
| State of being in love |
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| Vibrant passion | A short-term phase, no matter what fairy tales about unprecedented love, its course is most often short-lived.
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| Satiation | You have already managed to look at your partner from all sides. And, unfortunately, he turns out to be a completely different prince on a white horse.
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| Rejection | If you were unable to pass the previous stage with dignity, then the relationship between a man and a woman in psychology pushes you to look for new experiences on the side.
|
| Tolerance | During this period of life, we give the right to make mistakes not only for ourselves, but also for the person next to us.
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| Service | If you don’t like the meaning of this word, you can easily replace it with “care.”
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| Love | With mutual respect, negative character traits of a person are not simply accepted, but a careful and caring attitude towards another person is developed. And it doesn’t matter at all that your soulmate is simply in another body; its role in your life is limitless.
|
Find out now why love passes:
How to understand that this is your person
All of the above stages and the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman are figurative. And the truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle. When you actually meet the person of your dreams, you will feel it immediately. And with joint efforts you can go through these stages with dignity.
How to avoid mistakes
The influence of female psychology on building harmonious relationships:
- To achieve family happiness, it is important to become an individual, determine your strengths, try to eradicate shortcomings, set goals in life and, above all, love yourself.
- Crazy feeling is not a good foundation for these goals.
- Only strong friendship can bind two partners. It allows, being constantly nearby, to support and protect each other, showing tolerance and mutual respect.
- Purely physical attraction will eventually lead to a dominant partner. He will infringe on the independence of another and constantly control his life
- Remember that your significant other has his own goals and dreams.
- You can destroy the feelings that have flared up with your own hands if you do not value your spouse and stop taking into account his needs.
Is it possible to change a man
If we consider the relationship between a man and a woman in psychology, we can understand that it is impossible to completely remake a person. Therefore, if he is really dear to you and you are counting on a long and happy life, try to “get used to it” so that your changes do not harm his psyche.
What to do
- But this does not mean at all that you have to constantly adapt.
- Remember that you do not owe anything to anyone.
- A harmonious union is one where both receive and give respect and love.
- The rapist-victim relationship should be terminated immediately or the line of behavior in it should be reconsidered.
- Don't forget about the relationship between such important concepts as friendship and love.
- They play a certain role in building smooth relationships, since they are equivalent in essence. One can develop into another and vice versa.
In both cases, the following qualities are very important:
- Providing assistance,
- Constant attention
- Guardianship and patronage
- Sincerity and openness
- Loyalty.
How to build a strong family
A woman plays an important role in building quality relationships and creating a harmonious union. At all times, she was considered the keeper of the fire of family life. On her fragile shoulders fall the worries of creating home comfort and the responsibility for raising children.
“But this may not be observed in every family,” you might think. And you'll be right. And yet, regardless of the individual development of events, the characteristics of each and the experience of past relationships among partners, female psychology has its own characteristics.
They influence the building of fundamentally stable connections.
It is important to listen:
How to learn to understand a man
- No one will argue with fact number one that representatives of the stronger and weaker sex are completely different. And not everyone manages to go through all phases of relationships with dignity, overcoming all the troubles and adversities that stand in the way.
- But still, a man and a woman need each other. And the primary goal of each of them is to create a strong union with complete harmony in relationships.
Where can you meet your soulmate?
Opposites attract each other, that's how it is. But sometimes this does not happen as quickly as we would like. Successful couples are united by a common goal, dreams and ideas about life. But your social circle can be different, as can your professions or hobbies. There are few known unions that are created as a result of first love. But this is one of the lessons that life teaches us.
It should be accepted and certain conclusions drawn. People break up for one simple reason: they are not suitable for each other. And that's absolutely normal.
How to find your person
In some cases, after the first unsuccessful attempt, many become disappointed.
These can be divided into two types:
- Those who refuse to look for opportunities to find their happiness.
- Those who stop believing in themselves.
Both of these opinions are destructive. Just understand that you are faced with a rather difficult task - finding “your” person. But it cannot come out of nowhere.
This is a complex and painstaking search, which in no case should be stopped if it fails.
How to Avoid Loneliness
The psychology of relationships between partners suggests that if you sit still, you will not find the option you are looking for. At the very least, you need to at least go outside.
And first check out the approximate list of places where you can meet an interesting person:
| Possible meeting places | How to determine your chosen one |
| Vernissages, theaters and museums |
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| Cafe |
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| Educational trainings | A pleasant advantage of such courses will be the opportunity to make new acquaintances in accordance with your interests.
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| Government structures | People standing in line at a bank cash desk get bored, so they willingly start a conversation.
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Advice for the desperate:
- Don't be discouraged if you couldn't find your soul mate right away.
- Be kind and don't dwell on your failure.
- Experiment and make new acquaintances every day, in the end you will achieve the expected result.
How to determine whether a man and woman are suitable for starting a family
Many people are afraid to take responsibility and run to find out whether an alliance with fortune tellers and palmists will be successful. Having received information, they end up sitting and waiting for happiness to fall on them.
But at the same time, they themselves do not make any effort and do not try to do anything to gain this most unearthly bliss.
Compatibility of partners in the psychology of relationships
Many factors and criteria influence the fact that some couples live happily ever after for many years, understanding and supporting family values, appreciating and protecting everything that has been given to them from above. But there are also many motives due to which people separate, destroying former attachments, and even compatibility from the point of view of horoscopes does not save the disintegrating cell of society.
Study the main driving forces that influence the relationship between a man and a woman, psychology of compatibility.
| Factor | Description |
| General goals |
It is absolutely not necessary for both of you to suddenly become bad. No, no one doubts your adequacy, intelligence and other wonderful qualities. You are just different. So, before you unite your union, find out that your dreams coincide. |
| Comfortable coexistence |
But people who hear each other predict the thoughts and desires of their partner, find the necessary compromise when making decisions and, as a result, find peace and tranquility. |
| Don't forget about your own interests | Women and men look at this point differently.
But happiness is possible only when one’s own interests are not forgotten.
Only in this case can a happy union be guaranteed for many years. |
| Everyone can find what they need | It's no secret that the needs and desires of men and women are different. And in order to achieve harmony in family relationships, you should try to combine these desires into a single goal. What a woman needs
What are men's desires?
|
The relationship between a man and a woman is associated with the manifestation of the deepest emotions. The psychology of relationships identifies many types of interaction between opposite-sex partners, but most people prefer to be in long-term romantic relationships.
How opposite-sex partners interact
Everything in the world revolves around the woman-man relationship. Numerous complications and mistakes that accompany love affairs make us think about the true nature of this important phenomenon in the life of every person.
The ability to have healthy relationships is not innate. The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is the subject of many studies. Their results indicate that the ability to build stable family relationships begins in infancy. The primary need for affection and love is formed through the interaction of a small child with a person who satisfies his needs for care, protection and social contact.
Mistakes in interactions with the opposite sex are a source of great suffering. The psychology of relationships is such that the most significant element in a person’s life is a romantic relationship. Romance is increasingly seen as an essential component of marriage. Thus, American researchers discovered an amazing fact - more than 92% of women and 85% of men do not want to marry a partner who has all the desirable qualities, but with whom they are not in love.
Interaction varies...
Feelings between opposite-sex partners can be short-term and long-term, mutually beneficial and codependent, reciprocal and unrequited, based on sex and spiritual kinship... Psychologists identify several main types of interaction between women and men.
- Platonic friendship: opposite-sex partners become friends due to the presence of common interests and values. Although friendship between a woman and a man is believed to be sexual, this type of relationship is quite common in modern society;
- “Friendship sex”: in this case, a man and a woman complement their platonic friendship with sexual activities. Such a relationship attracts those who want to receive sexual satisfaction without any obligations. However, there is a high risk of romantic feelings arising here, which leads to the pangs of jealousy;
- Romantic relationships: a woman and a man experience mutual love and tenderness, in most cases having sexual intercourse. Signs of healthy romantic love include allowing for personal growth and maintaining your individuality. Sometimes such relationships last a lifetime, others sooner or later end because the partners cease to experience emotional, physical or psychological attraction. Not all romantic feelings are beneficial to a person. Many people enter into codependent love relationships and vector marriages, which greatly destroy the personality;
- Professional Relationships: Today, most men and women have many close professional relationships based on mutual respect and competence.
And if it's just sex...
Relationships are not always between a man and a woman 
develop into love. Types of sexual relationships range from long-term monogamous relationships to one-night stands.
Long-term serious relationship (monogamy). Many people live in monogamous relationships, having sex only with their partner. This is a socially accepted type of opposite-sex relationships that attracts more women than men.
Spending leisure time together. Some people engage in sexual activity for fun. Some men prefer to date several partners at the same time until they find their “one.”
Open communications. This type is reminiscent of a long-term serious relationship. The difference is that this relationship is not monogamous. Partners have sex not only with each other, but also with other people.
Sexual partners. These relationships are based solely on sexual attraction with little emotional attachment. Friendship between such partners is possible, but not at all necessary. Partners meet repeatedly just to have sex. As a rule, such relationships are secret.
One night stand. It's a one-night stand with no desire to ever see each other again. Sex with a stranger can only be pleasant and rewarding if both partners know what they are getting into.
There are other types of sexual relationships, such as group sex, but they are more about experimentation than long-term interaction.
What does falling in love develop into?
Long-term relationships have their own stages and milestones that every couple goes through.
Problems and failures
Life satisfaction does not always depend on having a close relationship, but harmonious relationships make a person happier. If you're not getting what you want from your partner, you may be making mistakes in the relationship.
Mistake number one: you take your partner for granted. Often we offend or ignore loved ones because we are sure that they will always be there for us. What if your partner finds someone who will give him the attention that he doesn’t receive from you?
Mistake two: you think that your partner owes you something. Even the closest relationships can be destroyed by excessive demands.
Mistake three: constant complaints about your partner. This is the most common female mistake. In addition to leaking family secrets, this behavior can seriously hurt your man.
Mistake four: aggressive-passive behavior. This can look like anything from “forgetting requests” to completely ignoring them. Many people believe that such behavior is more harmless than direct aggression, but this is not the case.
Mistake five: constant questioning. You keep asking your partner if you will still be together next week. Or maybe you require daily declarations of love and fidelity? Such questions mean that you doubt your feelings, and this uncertainty is transmitted to your partner.
Mistake six: lack of support. Trust and support in difficult moments of life can not only ease a partner’s mental pain, but also help him gain strength to overcome the problem.
What is the secret of true love?
Relationship psychology calls love (especially long-term love) “the least studied area of all that has been studied.” After studying many happy older couples, psychologists have identified six valuable secrets to maintaining romantic love throughout life.
The first secret: “blind love.” People who continue to idealize their partner stay together for a long time.
Secret two: craving for everything new. Boredom is a major barrier to romantic love, which is why successful couples constantly find ways to maintain mutual interest.
Secret three: independence. If lovers remain independent and engage in different activities, they continue to see their partner in a new light.
Secret four: passion for life. Passionate 
attitude towards life helps to maintain passion in love. People who experience strong emotions in everyday life transfer strong feelings to their personal lives.
Secret five: self-realization. Relationships in which there is an opportunity for self-realization bring more satisfaction, but also require a greater investment of time and energy from partners.
The psychology of the beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman is a fragile and vulnerable structure.
Just touch it - with a careless word or a rash act - and the dreams of love turn into thunderstorms of misunderstanding and resentment, and the happiness that barely appeared on the horizon instantly crumbles like a mirage. It’s not for nothing that people say “love is timid”... what’s wrong is that it breaks the bridle and looks for the wind in the field!
Why do strangers get terribly worried on the eve of their first date, struggling with their own fears and thoughts: “I won’t like me,” “What will I tell him?”, “How to behave?”, “I’ll look like an idiot!” and similar settings? The answer is obvious. Past failed relationships tie you up, so it’s hard to believe in the success of a new acquaintance. Go figure out who you see when you first meet: another person or a blurred image through the prism of your ex-partner? “He wouldn’t do that…”, “she definitely wouldn’t say that” – familiar thoughts?
What happens is that at the very beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman there are already three, four, and even more: two companies from the sad past communicate with each other, and the main characters of this story are lost among them, unable to collect their fragmented selves.
Add goals to this
why they rush in search of love:
- in desperation to drown out the pain of breaking up with a former partner and fill the inner emptiness. You will object - yes, what’s bad? Only in psychology can one cope with emptiness in one way - to find its cause and uncreate it. Otherwise, over time, no matter what you fill it with, the “hole” will only deepen,
- fear of loneliness,
- desire for sex,
- take revenge on your ex
- be like everyone else: “my friends have been married for a long time, but am I worse?!”
- increased desire to have a child “before it’s too late”,
- get rid of parental care and change place of residence,
- ... here name your reason why you needed to connect your life with another person. Just don’t cheat if your current relationship is at least somehow dear to you.
There are hundreds of reasons for starting a relationship, but, alas, there are only a few for love. One of my clients answered the question: “Why did you get married?” She calmly answered: “Because my husband’s parents promised to buy us an apartment.” Alas, the story ended in divorce, even the children did not help. Another example: a girl suffered from moral and physical abuse from her father. It’s not difficult to guess what she constantly dreamed of – a protector. As a result, out of many contenders for her hand and heart, she chose the tallest and most powerfully built guy. The result of this psychology is divorce after 15 years of marriage. Of course, the family broke up not only for this reason, but “whatever you call the boat, that’s how it will float.” What to do?
How to start a relationship wisely?
Take your time. And figure it out:
- Why do you really need a relationship? What do you expect from them?
- The thought “I need him/her” is often present. Listen (!) - at the beginning of a relationship you are already pulling the blanket over yourself. Feel the difference: “what can I GIVE him or her?” and “I EXPECT love and care from him.” Did you catch it? In nature, an outgoing flow generates an incoming flow, and nothing else! In other words, in order to receive something, you must first be able to give it. The expression of the famous psychologist Alan Eril came to mind: “I don’t need you, but I love you.” Think about it...
- What conclusions are drawn from past relationships? If they are akin to the aggressive “all women are with...”, and “men are with...”, before you have time to blink an eye, you will definitely meet just such people. In the case of victim psychology, a new tyrant is just around the corner. Without dealing with the past, the present will never come...
You may object, who would delve into themselves? Give up and plunge headlong into new passions. Your will. Does this exit remind you of anything? Forgetting, forgetting is akin to a drug... And what usually happens when the dope dissipates? Withdrawal. Draw conclusions.
If you listened, and the psychology of the beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman will really start from scratch,
- Don't insist on spending all your time together. Follow the golden principle of “touch and release.” Don't be afraid that you will lose, or that in your absence he/she will meet someone else. Your person will stay with you forever,
- leave others the right to personal space. Don’t expect or demand revelations, stories about past relationships, don’t change a person to suit you with comments on how to dress, what’s healthy to eat, what to enjoy, or what programs to watch,
- if the beginning of a relationship is not just flirting, and there are the beginnings of spiritual kinship, it is better to agree right away what you agree to in the relationship and what you don’t. Cleaning, cooking, other household issues, visiting relatives, hobbies; what I am willing to give up and what is sacred; attitude towards sex, children, animals - discuss what you consider important and necessary. This is called giving a person a factor of reality, and not feeding him with illusions,
- never expect anything
- don't promise
- respect, which means: recognition of the dignity of the individual, attention to his interests and beliefs, trust and the right to freedom,
- give love,
- and be yourself. Don't present yourself as a good-natured and polite person. Who are you trying to fool?.. Yourself? Sooner or later, the scenery will come off, the real essence will emerge, and the partner will involuntarily ask the question: “Who did I live with all the time then?!”
If you use at least some of the above, the psychology of the beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman promises to be interesting and safe for both.
