Dating is a test

Recently, an interesting incident happened to me. Although it happens to me often, even more than often, not only to me, but to a good half of people, yes, what’s there, I myself deliberately make sure that it happens to me more often. It's simple, this case is called a date.

I liked the young man, but I don’t know him and I can’t be the first to start talking, I’m a girl, that is, an “object”, as some subjects say. Therefore, I act cunningly: I flash before my eyes. Naturally, I don’t just flash, but to the point: either the tea next to him is tastier, or the next table is located in a convenient place, and in general I like to talk about football at the same neighboring table. After talking about football, he simply cannot help but pay attention to me, and it doesn’t matter that I taught for two days what year Spartak was founded and who the goalkeeper is. Easy or simple, but an invitation to a date is already in your pocket. This is where the whole adventure begins.

What do you think is the first thing I do? I look in the mirror and understand what I need: shoes, a dress, it wouldn’t hurt to go to the hairdresser, and in general, I’m kind of pale. In general, there is a whole carload of work, and only one day until goodbye.

I call my favorite hair salon, but all the specialists are busy, and that’s when panic begins. I can’t trust another hairdresser with my head — I can’t go with a head like that — either. The word “please” didn’t help, but the phrase “please, I’m having a wedding” did. Hairdressers are delicate people, they need to know everything about everyone. So I had to come up with a wonderful story about how we met, the ideal character of my future husband and future plans for life. Be that as it may, my head is in order and, in principle, I am happy with my husband and my future life.

I'm going to the store. All you need is shoes and a dress. And I, as a person with a limited budget and common sense, understand this, but as a girl with a daddy card and a fiery love of shopping — not really, especially when the shoes are red and the bag is brown. Therefore, because of the shopping bags, I can hardly be seen. Leaving the store, I understand that, to put it mildly, I bought too much, but the receipts were torn and thrown away at the checkout, so there is no turning back. Rubicons have been crossed. Bridges have been burned. Moscow is behind us, and there is nowhere to retreat. Wasn’t: - I’m going to the solarium.. I’m buying for 15 minutes. I see in the mirror, a burnt nose, it’s all because of the Central European skin type. Who knew, who knew...

Let's start with makeup. Even tone, even eyebrows, shadows fit well. And the final touch — the arrows. It didn’t work out: the right one — no matter what, the left one sadly slides onto the cheekbone. We wash off the even tone, even eyebrows, well-placed shadows. We reapply: even tone, even eyebrows, well-placed shadows.

So I’m ready to breathe out, look in the mirror, smile and go.

The date is scheduled for the evening. I have the perfect hairstyle, the perfect makeup, the perfect shoes to match the bag, the perfect dress, with the perfect memorized dialogue in my head. Here I am.

So what do I get? Evening movie session. Movie?! Movie!

Yes, it’s romantic, back rows, a lot of people, darkness and silence.

All my efforts, wasted time, hours of studying his favorite topics were in vain.

The guy of my dreams did not appreciate my efforts. He couldn't. He just didn't see.

One day an instructive incident happened to me, after which I had to draw important conclusions. During the summer holidays, my grandparents decided to go for a walk in the forest. They live in their own house, and not far away a large river flows and there is a green forest. I went with them. We walked along the forest paths for a long time, it was warm, grandmother told interesting stories, and grandfather whistled beautifully. He promised that someday he would teach me to whistle like that. Soon I said that I was tired and my grandmother took a blanket from her traveling bag and laid it on the green grass. We had a picnic.

Soon my grandparents decided to lie down to rest, and I could walk not far from them. I walked along the overgrown path and looked at the trees. I didn't notice how I had moved too far. At first I decided to call for help, but then I remembered what cartoon characters do, and decided to find my way on my own and go back. I began to retrace my steps. Then I realized that I was confused and started crying. Suddenly, I heard my grandfather’s voice and shouted back. It turned out that I had not gone far at all, and our camp was behind two bushes.

After this incident, my grandmother told me that as soon as I realized that I was lost, I should scream and call for help. If I had gone the other way, I could have gone very far and gotten really lost. Now I know that if I lose sight of the adults again, I will stop in place and call them so as not to get even more lost.

Essay 2 option - A memorable incident

I would like to tell you about an incident on the eve of May 9th. One day, a school organizer came into the class and told the students about the idea of ​​visiting all the WWII veterans in our village and helping around the house, doing what the old people asked. We naturally agreed, chose several addresses and shared among ourselves. We ended up with 5 people per 1 veteran.

On the second day, immediately after school, we scattered around the village. The team I was on found a grandmother who lived not far from me. I walked past her yard every day and didn’t know that she was lonely. It seemed like she had a family, because the yard was always clean and tidy. The curtains are always snow-white, a large number of flowers on the windows are constantly blooming, which means there is someone to look after them, the gates, although old, are painted every year before Easter.

I wasn’t the only one who was surprised when an old grandmother who walked with the help of two sticks opened the door for us. Tears appeared in her eyes when we explained why we came, but she let us into the yard and found work for everyone. Two of them cleaned the house, two of them went to plant several buckets of potatoes, and I got to clean the kitchen.

Seeing how she really lived, I was upset, because while we were playing and running around the village, we could occasionally come and help lonely people. The greasy dishes haven’t been washed properly for a long time, because the old lady’s hands are not at all the same, the floor is dirty from the dirt caused by the rain the day before yesterday, towels that can’t be washed, but only thrown away, and much more. It turned out that only a social worker helps her, who comes 2 times a week and also brings groceries from the store.

We completed all the work in just two hours, then we sat for a long time and listened to stories about the war and the life of Tamara Feodorovna. They separated when it began to get dark. After this hike, my friend and I began to visit this grandmother every Saturday and help her as much as we could. Unfortunately, she did not live long enough to see the next May 9th, but we did not stop doing a good deed and took under our care an old man living on a nearby street.
This is how one incident, one day completely changed our outlook on life and attitude towards older people.

Several interesting essays

• Essay description of the painting Morning on the Kulikovo Field by Bubnov

  As you know, the history of mankind is a history of wars. In almost every era, people fight with each other and the reasons for this can be very diverse.

• Essay Proverbs and sayings - grains of folk wisdom reasoning

  As we often hear from others, and we ourselves often use in speech, many sayings and proverbs. It’s not for nothing that they are called the grains of wisdom of the people. It’s true: the statements are short – the grains are also small, and from the grains a fruit grows

Morality can be called a coordinate system that determines the rules of behavior in society. The main essence of morality is for each person to bring as much benefit as possible to humanity.

• Essay on the work The Tale of a Real Man (Polevoy)

  In 1946, the story of the Soviet author Boris Nikolaevich Polevoy “The Tale of a Real Man” was published. It tells the amazing story of a pilot who, during the Great Patriotic War

• Essay The image and characterization of Olivier in the work The Song of Roland

  "The Song of Rolland" is an ancient French play in which the plot is based on the massacre in the gorge near Roncesval between the Basque army and the soldiers of Charlemagne. The play is considered one of the most important works of French literature.

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Each of us at least once in our lives has found ourselves in a situation that made us feel terribly awkward. However, it is good that the unpleasant aftertaste from what happened is quickly replaced by the realization that there are many of us, which means there is nothing wrong with such awkwardness.

• I'm studying to be a translator in France. My only tail at the moment is Spanish. Everything would be fine, but I am a native Spaniard.

• 4 days before the wedding, my bride broke her left ring finger.

• She boasted to her new boyfriend about her unpredictability and spontaneity. Then he slowly brought his lips to mine and voluptuously whispered: “So surprise me.” I still don’t know why I belched back.

• I asked the intern to make 150 copies. She only made 50. When I told her about this, she threw the finished copies into the trash... and went to make new ones.

• Today I met a classmate in the park, whom we had not seen since school. She was with her husband and two children. And I caught Pokemon with my friends.

• Today a Russian asked me if I was from Russia. She answered with surprise that no. He explained that my tattoos meant that I belonged to the mafia. Yeah!

• I fell asleep on the train and slept for a few minutes. When I woke up, the whole carriage was looking at me with a strange smile. I still don't know what I did.

• I was on holiday in Australia. An incredibly huge and scary insect crawled across the bed and then disappeared. I couldn't find him. That night was the longest of my life.

• I work at the reception desk at a hotel. Today, customers wrote in a complaint that the sea water is too salty.

• My daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to cry and scream, “Am I not good enough for you?” And so every time I ask her if she wants more children.

• Starting today, my husband and I have decided to share household responsibilities equally. It's his turn to wash the dishes. He turned on the tap, wet his hands, closed the tap, dried his hands, took the car keys and drove away. Came back with a dishwasher.

• I'm a hairdresser. Today a client came to me and showed by signs that he was deaf and dumb. Luckily, I know some sign language and try to start a conversation. He can’t stand it and says out loud: “Lord, such a brilliant plan failed. Cut your hair in silence, I beg you!”

• To get back at me after a quarrel, my wife wrapped her slippers in foil instead of the usual sandwich that I take to work.

• Celebrated the New Year in Rio de Janeiro. I came there for the beautiful fireworks display on the beach. Just before midnight I decided to quickly run to the hotel to get a camera. Stuck in an elevator. Until 3:00 am. Happy holiday, damn it.

• I am allergic to sea water. I've lived in Tahiti all my life.

• Today I suddenly wanted to buy my wife flowers. She accepted them with tears in her eyes: “Darling, you haven’t forgotten.” The most interesting thing is that I still didn’t understand what she was talking about. Well, what can I say, it blew by!

• I told my boss that she had made a mistake in the schedule, since this year there is no February 29th. “How not?! After Tuesday it’s Thursday right away?” She was completely serious.

• 2014 On December 31, I was driving from the city to the village to celebrate the New Year with my family, but I didn’t get there. Stuck in the steppe in a snowstorm. I thought that this was how I would celebrate the New Year - alone in the car. The car was already starting to get covered in snow, and then someone was knocking on the window. It turns out that the guy behind me was also stuck, got into the car with a liter and sauerkraut. I will remember this New Year for the rest of my life. Thank you, Uncle Misha!

Share in the comments funny stories that have already happened to you in the new year.

Told:

I'll tell you a funny incident that happened...

I'll tell you a funny incident that happened to me many years ago.
I had a friend - Kostya “Virus”, a person about whom you can write a separate story, but that will come later, if there is time.
So, this “Virus” worked at one of the breweries in the bottling shop on the night shift, and invited me and my friend, once again, to a night beer tasting, of course, unauthorized by management. We, of course, loved beer and therefore could not refuse such a tempting offer.
My friend, Valerka “Travkin”, decided to involve his uncle Kolya in this event, who also loved beer, especially for free. We agreed that “Travkin” would meet his uncle and would come with him to the metro station at the appointed hour.
The hour "X" has come. I’m standing below, at the platform, waiting for beer connoisseurs and looking at my watch... time is running out, it’s late and the metro is about to close. I’m already starting to worry, since the prospect of climbing through the fence into a guarded facility alone is not very encouraging. The clock is ticking, my friends are still gone.
Another train arrives. I don’t see any painfully familiar faces among the exiting passengers.
I approached a metro worker: “Please tell me, is this by any chance not the last train?”
“The last one, there won’t be any more today!” - the answer leaves me all... in trouble.
There were no traces of cell phones back then; there is no way to find out the reason for the absence of “these motherfuckers.”
I go upstairs, flattering myself with the hope that they arrived by land and are waiting for me at the top... fuck it, it’s empty - oh, let them be empty... I’ll have to go alone.
Of course, there is no money for a taxi, the metro is closed, I walk towards the fence I know from a previous hike, gather my courage, silently say hello to all my friends, climb over and find myself in the territory. And it’s dark, there are rails and cars all around, I sneak among them, I try not to catch the eye of the guards - they won’t praise me if they see me, I go up to the treasured window, it’s open, and in a whisper I shout: “Kostya!.. Virus!” A head sticks out of the window, but clearly not the “Virus”...
- What do you want?
- I would like Kostya...
“He’s gone,” and the head moved back.
In bl$... Apparently Virus missed work, “Travkina” warned him, that’s why he didn’t come, there are no cell phones, they didn’t inform me, what am I going to do now? Hide on the territory from the guards until the morning? So in any case, sooner or later they will be caught, and in the morning it will become even more light. Back to the fence? So on that side there is a tree to climb, but on this side you just need to plant it, and then pull the person planted from above by the hands, the fence is high. Yeah, the situation, motherfucker.
There is nothing to do. I'm going all-in. Hands into my trousers, I go out into the open space, and at full height, whistling the Kalinka, I walk towards the central entrance. I saw a security guard coming, he saw me and even stopped because of such impudence... I went to him.
- Tell me, where is your exit?
- What are you doing here? How did you get here?
“It’s a long story, take me to the exit, and I’ll tell you on the way,” and I begin to tell a tale I made up on the fly. I was invited to visit, but they didn’t meet me at the metro, the metro was closed, I began to look for the house from memory, the Caucasians picked on me (they didn’t like my appearance, I had a mohawk, a biker jacket and torn jeans), they wanted to beat me up, while running away, I jumped over the fence where I got , I don’t know, now I’m looking for a way out. It seems plausible...
The guard took me to the closet of the head of security, where I repeated this tale to him in detail. Strangely enough, they believed me; the main factor of trust was the fact that I, without hiding, went to the guard myself. Having written down my data, naturally dictated by me from the fool, I was taken to the gate and released.
And what? Where to now? I’m scratching a turnip, I’m thinking... walking home, you can still have a lot of adventures, these are troubled times, and I still have the same view, they’ll get you into the police station...
I see there are two dotted houses, next to a pond, I go into the front door - okay, I think I’ll hang out in the front door until the morning, and in the morning on municipal transport home... and in the evening, to a pre-thought-out place, in the nose of “Travkin”, for not coming and didn’t warn... Just kidding, of course)))
I climb up to the top floor, sit down on the floor in a corner, even though it’s August, it’s already cool outside... I slowly dozed off, I even had some dreams...
I wake up to someone tugging my leg, I open my eyes and almost jump out of fright - a homeless man is standing and tugging at my shoe, apparently he thought that the drunk was sleeping and wanted to profit from the shoes. I scared him away, he left, but I couldn’t sleep in either eye - it’s good that he didn’t hit me on the head to make it more likely that I was in an insensitive state... ugh, the front door disappears... they’ll still beat me to hell... I went out into the street, I looked, there was a tree standing right on shore of the pond, spreading branches, foliage. I climbed onto it instantly, settled down, looked at the other side, listened to how the dispatchers were talking on the broadcast, adjusting the work of the sorters, a train was arriving on some route, such and such a car should be driven to such and such a place, some Ekaterina should go get a set of pasta and canned goods... I'm eager to smoke, I have two cigarettes and one match in my pocket, that's an ambush... I'll wait until the nicotine becomes completely unbearable. Unbeknownst to myself, I dozed off again... In my sleep, I heard the front door creaking in the front door, and a few seconds later, I heard a dog barking... nasty, like the barking of little empty nesters. I look down and a little dog is jumping and barking at me in the branches.
“Stop barking, now you’ll wake up the whole house,” I hear a young female voice.
- She's the one barking at me.
- Oh, who is this?
- It's me, sleeping here.
- Well, show yourself.
I get down, or rather jump off. A girl is standing, wrapping herself in a robe. The little dog sniffed me and calmed down, and raised my leg up the tree.
- What were you doing there?
I told her the story that I told the guards. She was amused. We stand and talk about nothing. Then the front door creaked. A man runs out and comes to us. “Why are you sharpening your lasses here, you pest?” Grab the dog and hit the ground with all your might. The little dog, squealing and screaming, rushed into the reeds.
- Dad, are you completely stunned? - and for the dog. The crazy dad flashed his eyes at me and followed the girl. And I'm on a tree. He's a big guy, and now he treats me like a dog. I’m sitting in a tree, I hear my dad’s swearing, the howling of a dog and the screams of a girl moving away in the reeds.
A little time passed. I hear an empty-headed girl rubbing herself near the tree. I jump off. I take her in my arms. She's shaking all over, trying to lick my cheek. Father and daughter appear.
- Hold on, she came running to me herself.
The girl grabbed this shaking small fry in her arms and headed towards the house. Dad looked at me one more time for a second and also left. And I'm back on the tree.
I’m sitting, smoking a cigarette, realizing that the morning is far away, and I’ll have to light a second one, I might be able to fall asleep, but my legs are numb, and it won’t take long to fall out of a tree in my sleep.
The door creaked again. I heard a whisper: “Hey, Tarzan, here you are...” and ran away. Through the leaves I see something turning white on the ground. I jump down for the umpteenth time that night and see a piece of paper, several cigarettes and a box of matches. On the piece of paper is your phone number and name. I liked it apparently. The girl seems okay...
So I lived with cigarettes until the morning. The first trolleybuses arrived. At home I slept off and called Travkin...
“Where are you, majahid xrenov (this is addressed to me) wandering around, we had such a great time at Virus.”
It turns out that the train was the second to last one, and “Virus” was at work, only his head stuck out, and that’s why he lied in a confrontation with him.
I told about my adventures, they laughed...
And I lost that girl’s phone number, this romance never took place, although maybe it was for the best... what a dad she has)))