A problematic question for all parents is “How to teach a child to sleep in his own crib?” appears already in the first months of the baby’s life. From the very birth of a child, there can be no question of the baby sleeping separately. If you face the truth, the mother is more afraid of sleeping separately than the baby. It is fear that prevents the approaching moment when mother and child will sleep in separate beds. But this moment must come. The main condition for this is timeliness.
The influence of co-sleeping in the first months of life on the emotional connection between mother and baby
What could a mother be afraid of? Observations show that the absence of a baby “nearby” at night is the cause of frequent anxiety for the parent. This is due to poor control over the condition of the newborn.
The mother is forced to wake up often and check the calmness and well-being of the child sleeping a few meters away. Sleeping together in the first months is a must, and is an important event. Just yesterday, the baby was in the mother’s womb for 9 long months, was one with her, and was very sensitive to any changes in health and environment.
Such a close emotional and physical connection should not be interrupted abruptly. In the first year of life, a human baby develops what is called “basic trust” in the world. It lies in the fact that the youngest member of the family, living in a comfortable environment, concludes that life is good. And if problems arise (typical of a baby under one year of age - hunger, cold, etc.), then the mother will immediately correct the situation.
Such a conclusion is necessary for the correct formation of a person’s emotional health, and the mother, who is always nearby, is responsible for this. Is it worth talking about the level of emotional connection that arises between them this year?
This opinion is shared by a large number of perinatal psychologists. However, such conclusions have not been clearly confirmed, and it is impossible to recommend the practice of co-sleeping on the basis of such judgments. This opinion is shared by a famous TV presenter, pediatrician, Ph.D. E.O. Komarovsky. Watch his detailed answer to this question in the video:
The importance of quality and long rest
Sleep is the time when our body recovers its strength from the difficulties experienced during the day.
The older a person is, the shorter the duration of normal, sufficient sleep. This is what happens towards the offensive mature age. Some may think that babies have no reason to get tired, because they lie down almost all day. This is a fundamentally wrong opinion. An adult spends about 1500 Kcal just to maintain the body natural processes.
A newborn grows from the first moments of its life. Enormous energy reserves are spent on physical development body – growth of bones, organs, brain development. At the same time, sleeping 20 hours a day is the norm.
Closer to one year of age, the duration of rest will decrease, but will remain at a fairly high level - about 14 hours. The goal pursued by nature is the same - the full, high-quality development of a healthy child’s body.
Graduality is the main principle
As already said - Abruptly refusing to sleep together is highly undesirable. The baby will perceive this negatively, it will seem to him that he was abandoned. Abruptly losing the feeling of a parent next to you can lead to serious consequences.
Night terrors may lead to the need to visit a neurologist in the future.
Therefore, it is simply necessary to know how important it is to teach your baby to sleep in a crib gradually and slowly.
In the first stages, you can simulate a “separate” stay by placing the crib side by side with the parents’ bed. This way the child will be nearby, within easy reach, under control, but already within the walls of his bed.
Over time, the crib should be moved further away, but within the same room. When ready, the crib can be moved to a separate room. But under no circumstances should you distance yourself from the child emotionally, citing his imaginary independence. He must always hear his parents and understand that they are nearby.
What prevents a child from learning to sleep alone?
That same close emotional connection is the reason why it is difficult for a baby to sleep alone. It is difficult to break the connection, but the baby does not think it is necessary.
The feeling of security and unity with the mother is a comfortable environment, beyond which the baby will not dare to go outside of her own free will. Parents themselves begin the process, leaving the baby alone with thoughts about the reasons for the changes and a feeling of fear.
Bad dream
Any child does not want to sleep in his crib alone. Everything, of course, is individual and depends on the age at which the process occurs. Among the causes of unstable sleep in infants are:
1 If the child is not yet a year old, then the first place among the reasons is the need for feeding. For the first six months, the baby will not sleep all night and will constantly wake up. Over time, nighttime rest will account for a larger portion of your total sleep time. This regulation is due to the need to eat. Going to bed should occur on a full stomach.
2 The second reason may be uncomfortable sleeping conditions– low or high air temperature, humidity above or below recommended values. Pediatricians consider a comfortable temperature to be 18-21°C, humidity – at least 50%.
3 The third reason, more often related to a one-year-old or older than age – fear. What can a baby be afraid of at night when he sleeps alone? First of all, darkness. The imagination of a baby can really frighten him in an unusual environment - the dark. But this does not mean at all that you need to leave the light on in the room; it will be difficult to unlearn this later. Before going to bed, it makes sense to give your baby something to drink.
4 Another reason may be stomach discomfort. This organ in newborns is still developing and at first does not perceive anything except mother’s milk or adapted mixture. The introduction of complementary foods into the diet usually proceeds with possible problems, causing the baby to sleep poorly and frequently waking up. If your baby has a tummy ache and nothing helps, give him a warm bath and also do. Water will relax tired muscles and relieve pain.
You can find out more about the reasons for a newborn’s poor sleep during the day.
Negative sleep associations and common parenting mistakes
Don't leave your baby alone; if he cries, lie next to him and calm him down. Sleep associations are the set of feelings that arise in a baby when he mentions going to bed. It is important to develop the right associations for this action.
You can prepare your baby for sleep by repeating simple activities that precede sleep day after day. Last cartoon for today, a glass of milk, washing your face, brushing your teeth, reading a book, praying.
Anything, but it must be simple steps, which will not be a burden and make it clear that now it will be time to go to bed.
If, through the fault of the parents, the child has developed negative associations with sleep, then every evening will turn into a battle, since there will be no desire. The factor may be a parental mistake such as leaving the baby alone in the crib when he cries. Parents can simply develop a negative attitude toward the process, since it will always be associated with stress.
Parents also make mistakes such as active games before falling asleep, thinking that, being tired, the child will fall asleep faster. On the contrary, games excite children’s psyches, as does watching TV before bed.
Breastfeeding and sleep
One of the associations is feeding. In the first days of life and further during the first months, the baby falls asleep immediately after breastfeeding. Waking up, he remembers the conditions under which he felt good, under which he went to sleep, and asks for his mother’s breast again.
This state of affairs over a long period of time leads to a misunderstanding by the mother of what the baby really wants when he wakes up - milk or reassurance. In this situation, it is necessary to find another way to calm him down.
Pros of sleeping separately
Separate vacations are necessary not only for parents' vacation. This is an important element in the formation of personality and the development of independence. Closer to the age of three, children experience a certain crisis. They want to be independent, their “I” appears everywhere.
At this moment, it is important to have your own bed, thereby being “like an adult.” Your property is your responsibility. An additional advantage will be to teach the little person to make the bed and require him to keep his “in charge” in a tucked state. At the same time, do not forget to confirm the need for this by your own example.
When children have their own crib, they have their own space. It may not be a private room, but it is a place where they are their own boss. If we talk about the age of three, then they simply need such an opportunity. In this case, the child understands that one of the differences between an adult and a child is the presence of his own “living space.”
Also, do not forget that all family members, both mom and dad, need sleep. And if sleeping together prevents you from doing this, you need to take action to wean your child from sleeping together. Dr. Komarovsky tells how to do this.
Signs of readiness to sleep in a personal crib
The main signs of readiness for relocation are:
- no need frequent feeding breasts;
- the ability to be alone, without scandals, for 20-25 minutes;
- if the baby does not ask to be held 24 hours a day;
- there are no health problems, both physical and psychological.
If these signs do not apply to your situation, then you should gradually work to ensure that they are observed.
When you shouldn't force your child to sleep separately
The process of getting used to your crib does not always go without problems. A child can easily become capricious and refuse to sleep separately. You'll have to take him to your bed and then it will be difficult for everyone to get a good night's sleep How to gently teach a child to sleep in his own crib - you need to understand that this process is not instantaneous. Sometimes a baby can adequately respond to falling asleep for 2-3 days, and on the fourth day give a concert.
If, when finding out the reasons, it turns out that this is not a trick, but, perhaps, poor health or unexpected fear, then it makes sense to make an exception.
Steps to successful sleep training
There are 4 steps to know how to accustom a child to a crib:
- Searching for a backup sedative for the baby, replacing empty breastfeeding.
- Moving into a crib and gradually moving away from it.
- Developing and applying correct bedtime associations.
- Developing the correct reaction to the whims of a child during a separate dream.
As you age, your sleep schedule and ritual change. This is normal and natural. The same lullaby and mother's breast that the newborn needed turned into a book and a glass of milk. Each parent has their own view on this.
In general, to develop a regime, daily repetition of some actions is required. It has been proven that it takes about 21 days to form a habit. Therefore, it is worth taking this fact into account and putting just that much time into setting up the ritual.
Changing mode is normal when it occurs in good side . We must not forget that in the same 21 days a habit can be forgotten if it is absent. Always ensure that the ritual is followed in the evening.
Going to bed on time
- in summer - no later than 21:00;
- in winter - no later than 20:00.
Going to bed on time is the key to a baby’s health; it allows him to sleep as much as necessary for his age.
With this development of events, your baby will sleep until 6-7 o'clock in the morning and wake up well-rested. This is exactly the time when it is time for many parents to get ready for work.
How much rest does a baby need per day and stress hormone
The duration of sleep differs for different ages. The older the person, the more this figure approaches the normal value of 8 hours a day.
For newborns the figure is higher. The baby sleeps almost 18-20 hours a day, but very intervals. Gradually, the main part of the rest will move into the night period.
The average need for rest by hour for each age is presented in the table:
| Age | Number of hours during the day | Number of hours at night |
| 1 week | 8-10 | 8,5 |
| 1 month | 7-8 | 8,5 |
| 3 months | 5-6 | 10 |
| 6 months | 4-4,5 | 10 |
| 9 months | 3-3,5 | 11,5 |
| 1 year | 2,5-3 | 11,5 |
| 2 years | 2-3 | 12 |
| 3 years | 2-2,5 | 11 |
| 4 years | 1,5-2 | 11,5 |
| 5 years | 1-1,5 | 11 |
| 6 years | 1-1,5 | 10,5 |
| 7 years | 1-1,5 | 10 |
With a lack of sleep, a small person’s body produces an increased amount of cortisol, the stress hormone. For this reason, the baby becomes capricious and disobedient.
Immunity also decreases, allergic reactions, inflammation, and lethargy may occur. nervous system. If other stress factors are added to this (quarrels, unhealthy home environment), this can lead to various neuropsychiatric abnormalities.
Therefore, it is very important to ensure that the child goes to bed on time, does not overstay, and also gets enough rest for his age.
Comfortable indoor conditions
Comfortable conditions are very strongly related to the quality of rest. Air temperature, humidity, silence, lighting. Everything must be thought out and meet the requirements.
In particular, pediatricians consider the optimal temperature in the room where the little one is to be 18-21 °C, and humidity to be at least 50%. Failure to comply with such standards will lead to possible lack of sleep, headaches, and frequent awakenings of the baby. Is it dangerous for a newborn - read here.
A favorite toy calms a baby at any age, don’t ignore this fact A toy for a child is a friend who always listens and looks into the eyes. A favorite toy in your hands is part of “yours” nearby. Don’t neglect your request to take a toy with you to bed., the baby will sleep more peacefully with it.
Don't forget about night lighting. When training a baby to sleep separately, frequent visits from the baby cannot be avoided. The need for short-term illumination of a room arises constantly.
For comfortable, soft and dim lighting, use a night light. This could be a children's night light, which will also be interesting to your fidget.
Most parents purchase a crib before their child is born. This is understandable, because it will be needed immediately after birth. And the purchase itself is simply a pleasant hassle associated with the birth of a baby.
The crib must meet safety requirements, do not tip over, do not have sharp corners or dangerous places or mechanisms. For an older child, choosing a crib is a special event. As he becomes independent, ask him what kind of bed he would like to have.
Of course, at 2 or 3 years old he is unlikely to be able to tell himself about his desires, but he must definitely take part in the process. Look at the cribs in the store with him, let him choose what he likes. And there is such a crib - after all, today every child’s item contains characters from your favorite cartoons.
The skill of falling asleep independently
The first and main requirement is that the crib must be safe for the child. What functionality will it have and appearance- it's a matter of taste This skill is the ultimate goal of your journey to independent sleep. The stage of developing the skill of falling asleep independently is a difficult test.
All the association methods and rituals described above will help with this. If the baby goes to bed already in a relaxed state, then the chances that he will fall asleep quickly are very high.
But in any case, there is no need to accustom your child to a constant presence next to his crib. You can already negotiate with a three-year-old man, having determined in advance that after reading the fairy tale the lights will be turned off, and the parent, having wished Good night, will leave the room. The key to success in this matter is the peace of mind of the parent and the comfort of the child. For more information on how to put your baby to sleep, see this.
In the case of a newborn, if a problem arises to quickly calm the child, there are several ways:
- Rocking - recreating the usual movement in the womb;
- Touch – physical contact;
- Recreation of sounds familiar to the baby;
- Breastfeeding.
If a child 2-3 years old wakes up, then it is advisable to find out the reason for the awakening and eliminate it.
Traditions of putting children to bed in different countries
- Americans are ardent opponents of sleeping together, and from early childhood they know how to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own and sleep all night in a crib.
- The Japanese, on the contrary, have been practicing this technique for a very long time, since closeness between family members is very important to their culture.
- The Italians are in complete solidarity with the Japanese, and for them, putting them to bed separately is an indicator of dislike for their child.
- Germans and Austrians are very strict about their daily routine, so they instill this in younger family members from birth.
- In Kenya, New Guinea, and Ethiopia, it is customary to sleep in the following way: boys with dads, girls with moms. Swedes prefer to vacation with their children, as they believe that it brings them closer together.
Conclusions
Joint holidays have many advantages. This method is worth practicing, especially when breastfeeding. But when weaning begins, you should start moving the baby to your own bed. The main thing is to do it gradually, not to rush.
The question “how to teach a child to sleep in his own crib” is not the easiest one. But it cannot be called unsolvable either. Be closer to the baby, understand his mood and state, feel it, and then the baby will easily sleep in his crib.
The popular presenter, doctor of the highest category E.O. talks about the rules of children's sleep. Komarovsky:
The question of how to teach a child to fall asleep on his own in a crib begins to worry parents approximately six months after the baby is born. Most often, mothers prefer to sleep with the baby together, since there is no need to get out of bed at night to feed. Before teaching a child to sleep separately from his parents, it is necessary to carefully study the opinions and advice of pediatricians with extensive experience in this field.
Process Features
Not all parents have problems putting their children in their crib. Weaning will be required if the baby previously had constant close contact with his mother and father. First of all, you should decide on the age that is considered optimal for this process.
Important! Many psychologists agree that a period of six to eight months is considered optimal.
As the baby grows older, he no longer needs to be fed at night. That is why mom and dad may think about how to teach their child to sleep in his own crib.
Until six months, mommy should also control the breathing process. Thanks to this, it is possible to minimize the likelihood that the baby will suffocate.
To understand how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents, you need to follow simple and effective tips:
- The process should only be started if the number of awakenings per night does not exceed 2 times.
- The baby is already eating adult food, and his mother breastfeeds him no more than three times a day.
- After waking up, the baby is not afraid, but behaves calmly.
- The baby does not experience discomfort if left alone for 20 minutes.
- The baby was born on time. He was not diagnosed with any abnormalities in the development of internal organs and systems.
- Before teaching a child to sleep separately from his parents, it is necessary to analyze the moment. It must be appropriate. The baby should not experience any additional stress.
Important! The baby should not be deprived of the necessary contact with his mother and feel protected
During training, you should demonstrate to the baby all the advantages of this process.
Expert opinion
Immediately after birth, a baby requires a lot of attention. Komarovsky knows better than anyone how to accustom a child to a crib. The TV doctor does not recommend that parents forget about their needs and comfort. They should rest well at night, then during the day they will have enough strength to care for and play. Each mother will have to decide for herself exactly when to transfer her son or daughter to her own bed.
Infant age
Psychologists believe that it is best to do everything necessary manipulations from the age of six months. An error of several weeks is allowed in any direction.
If your child does not want to sleep in his crib, then you need to use the following tips:
- constantly monitor changes in reaction, it is best to put the baby to bed when tired, and not according to a pre-conceived schedule; if the baby is active, he will not immediately fall asleep, but will begin to ask to be held;
- in children's consciousness certain processes should be connected, for example, the baby goes to bed immediately after bathing, and mommy or daddy can sing him a beautiful lullaby;
- the baby should only be allowed to sleep in the crib; all other actions should also be performed in a place strictly determined by the parents;
- babies fall asleep soundly immediately after feeding, in this case it is recommended to first place a diaper under them, 20 minutes after falling asleep you can transfer the baby to the nursery, the diaper will have time to absorb the pleasant smell of the mother, which the baby will constantly feel and sleep peacefully;
- the younger the baby, the easier it is to teach him to sleep in new conditions;
- Psychologists recommend creating an imitation of the mother’s womb for the baby. Some mothers practice tight swaddling from 4 to 8 weeks. Later, the meaning of its use will completely disappear.
If at 9 months the baby does not sleep in the crib on his own, it is very important for him to constantly maintain contact with his parents, then he should be constantly stroked and gently touched.
Important! In a year, weaning can become very painful. During this period, the baby will get used to sleeping together with his parents.
It is recommended to compensate for the lack of tactile sensations during the day. The answer to the question of how to teach a newborn to sleep separately is extremely simple. Parents must surround him with sufficient love and care. The baby should be picked up more often, stroked on the head and kissed. Such a demonstration of affection will significantly speed up the process.
Children over 2 years old
If a child does not sleep in a crib independently in a year, then parents will have to carry out the training process a little later.
Don't be upset about the omission. In any case, there will be time to catch up.
Psychologists consider it abnormal if at two years old a baby continues sleep with your parents.
The case concerns marital relations. To simplify the retraining process, it is recommended to use a number of tips.
It is necessary to find out why the child refuses to sleep independently. You should get used to the sleeping place gradually. It is allowed to use an additional version of the bed, so the baby will always be close to the parents. Gradually you should move it away.
The baby can choose his own bed, in which he is guaranteed to have sweet dreams. The sleeping area must be fully equipped. You can create comfort with the help of pillows and blankets. It's best to buy new pajamas. A child's room must have a night light.
It is allowed to involve older relatives for training. Other children will be able to set a positive example, and your baby will get the opportunity with pride show off your room.
At the first stage, you can only sleep in the crib during the day. Additionally, you should close the curtains and create a pleasant environment for relaxation. Mommy can give the baby a massage. Children quickly fall asleep after a walk in the fresh air. They should not be prohibited from running and playing actively.
Only after the baby is completely accustomed to falling asleep alone is it possible to turn off the night light completely. However, it should continue to be used in case of fears or individual preferences. If the baby is active all day, then by the evening he is guaranteed to feel tired. Overwork is unacceptable. It is important to find a “golden mean”.
Important! A woman should also feel morally prepared to sleep in a separate bed.
For last months the mother also gets used to falling asleep and waking up next to her son or daughter. Not every woman on a subconscious level I’m already ready for such changes.
Common mistakes
The process of accustoming to a sleeping place will go quickly if both parties are psychologically ready for it.
However, most often mommy faces a problem when her son or daughter cannot fall asleep on their own in a new place.
In this case, you need to try to push into the background the main errors that hinder this process:
- a son or daughter must not be frightened or scolded;
- The night light should be constantly burning in the nursery for the first time;
- mom and dad should always be at the same time, they should have a common position and specific requirements;
- It is not allowed to independently transfer a child to another room if he is already two years old; against the background of this process, the risk of neuroses and fears increases;
- You cannot joke or laugh at a child’s fear;
- the current situation also cannot be discussed with relatives or friends; this must be avoided if the conversation takes place in front of children;
- if the baby cries for a long time in the crib, then the woman should not ignore it, and she is also not allowed to go to another room;
- allow the baby to be in bed with his parents only in case of illness, but his deception or tricks should be stopped.
If a new addition to the family is expected soon, the eldest child must be transferred to his own bed in advance.
Good afternoon, dear readers! Many mothers are afraid to sleep with their young children. It seems to them that if the baby is not used to sleeping separately from birth, then it will be very difficult to “move” him somewhere.
There is even an opinion that the sooner you start teaching your child to sleep separately, the easier it is to do... How to teach a child to sleep in his own crib? In this article I will talk about methods applied to children different ages, and I will share my experience.
Separate sleep from birth
On the one hand, there is nothing complicated here. Just put the baby to sleep in the crib. And every time I get up to see him at night.
If mom is ready to get up many times during the night and this does not affect her well-being, there is probably nothing terrible about it. But we must keep in mind that the vast majority of children wake up very often.
Are you ready for such a feat? Personally, I don't. I was afraid of sleeping together with my eldest daughter for two whole months; I got up to the child 10-20 times a night. And at one point I decided that I had enough. She began to place the baby next to her and breastfeed for every squeak. That's when I started getting enough sleep.
A good video that can help teach your baby to sleep if he less than a year:
How to teach your baby to sleep separately from birth?
- From the very beginning, place the baby in a separate crib. If he wakes up in the process of shifting, try again and again until you achieve success;
- Every time the child cries at night, get up, take him in your arms, calm him down, and put him back in the crib.
I will not talk about those methods when babies are left alone to cry, teaching them to sleep without waking up. For me, such methods are unacceptable.
Co-sleeping up to 1-2 years
Many mothers prefer to place their children next to them until they are 1-2 years old. Thanks to this, they do not need to constantly jump up in the first year of life, when children's sleep so intermittent.
At one or two years old it is still difficult to explain anything to a child. Therefore, the scheme for accustoming a baby to a crib is extremely simple:
- We teach you to fall asleep in a crib. First, we sit next to each other, stroke, read books, sing songs. Then we gradually reduce our actions.
- when the child wakes up at night, we put him back in his crib. Stroking, soothing or something else.
If the child is sleeping soundly, you can put him to sleep where he is used to, and then transfer him to the crib. But some children may get scared when they wake up in a different place.
Another experience of a young mother:
Therefore, if the baby falls asleep only next to you, the easiest way to move him into bed is to first go to bed with him and lie next to him until the baby falls asleep. When the baby wakes up at night, come to him again. And after a while, gradually learn to fall asleep on your own.
Some mothers at this age do not try to ensure that the child sleeps in the crib all night until the morning. And they allow the baby to come to them in the morning and sleep together.
Co-sleeping up to 3-5 years
From my point of view, this is the best option. And the simplest... The child is already big. He is already ready to sleep separately. Everything can be explained to him. You might be interested. And crib training is often extremely easy.
The first step is to create a buzz around the crib. For some time, draw the child’s attention to how big children sleep in their beds, give examples of friends, characters from fairy tales. Together, choose a new crib for your child... But promise to buy it only when he is very big (after his next birthday or some other special day, after he does something special, learns to count to 20, etc.). That is, sleeping in your own bed is a special honor, the highest reward. It's prestigious, cool, attractive.
Typically, children aged 3-5 years old want to be big. And such ideas are received with a bang. The main thing is not to rush things.
Then you ceremoniously buy a crib. If the baby has never fallen asleep without you, help him fall asleep there... At night you can remind him that he is now big and can sleep in bed... And so on. It's done.
If the bed is already in place, we also gradually tell you how all big children sleep in cribs. We doubt that our baby is already that big... But at some point we allow him to sleep there.
For some children, you can simply promise something good if they prove their maturity by sleeping in bed for 10 days straight. It worked for us with ease.
Our experience
I taught my daughter to sleep in her crib at age 4. The bed had been standing for a long time and was quite small. I sometimes put my daughter to bed there under the pretext “Let you lie in the crib, and I’ll read you a book/give you a massage.” But since I didn’t behave very competently before, my attitude towards the bed was negative. At night, my daughter always returned to us.
When my daughter turned 4 years old, I realized that she was ready to sleep separately. And since we still needed to buy a new bed, I decided to go the following way...
From time to time I pointed out to my daughter that her older friends were sleeping in their beds. She saw their beds at a party... And she wanted the same ones.
No problem! I promised her that we would buy a beautiful crib when my daughter learned to sleep on her own. Otherwise, why buy? They buy beds only for those who sleep themselves!
In addition, I taught my daughter to fall asleep without me. Again, first we looked at photographs of cribs on the Internet... We chose the right one, admired it... And I said that for this Lisa needs to fall asleep herself.
All. Since then, Lisa has been sleeping alone. Never comes to us at night. It's been 4 months already.
A couple of years ago I was afraid that learning to sleep separately would have to be done through tears, with great difficulty... I was ready to go through any work, for me it’s better to sleep peacefully for 4 years and only suffer for a month with moving out... Than to jump and ride at night.
So, I didn’t need to make any effort to wean myself off co-sleeping. Just show my daughter’s friends on the bed a few times and promise a new crib... Which I was going to buy anyway.
Our youngest son has been sleeping with us since birth. And I also plan to leave co-sleeping for up to 3-4 years. And then it will be easy to attract him with the idea of sleeping alone, like him older sister... Even now he really wants to sleep in his sister’s place. But now I myself am not ready for such a turn of events, since it is not finished yet. And getting up at night... I have no such desire.
For me, co-sleeping is an opportunity to sleep at night, almost never getting up... Someone complains that sleeping like this is very crowded. For this, I can only recommend buying a wide sofa. Instead of spending money on cribs, it is better to buy a cheap wide sofa! Cheap - so as not to cry every time the baby pees (day or night). Or - he will paint with a ballpoint pen.
Co-sleeping helps your baby feel safe. And it helps the mother feel the child. This is just a few years of life... Which can be filled as much as possible with warmth and closeness to the baby. When the child is ready, he easily begins to sleep separately. And it’s even a pity that kids grow up so quickly.
Nice videos about sound sleep for children from a specialist - look here.
Getting your baby used to sleeping in their own crib can be quite a challenge, especially if your baby is used to sleeping with you. However, you can teach your baby to sleep separately by using different ways and methods. Here are some ideas to help you convince your baby to sleep in his own crib.
Steps
Drawing up a new regime
- A well-designed routine will help your baby know it's bedtime, no matter where he sleeps.
- You can vary this process according to your wishes, make it short or longer, so that the child feels comfortable and calm.
- As you begin the process of teaching your baby to sleep in his own crib, you should introduce some pre-bedtime routines so that your baby knows it's time for bed.
- Be consistent. The only way to establish a specific rule, in your case of putting your baby to bed separately, is to follow this rule every night, without exception. If you miss a few nights, you may be sending a mixed message to your baby.
- Even if you don't have a specific routine that tells your baby it's time to go to bed, you may be unknowingly showing your baby certain signs that indicate it's bedtime. Review your bedtime habits and determine if your child is following them. If these habits run in your family, continue to follow them as long as possible.
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Plan a small meal before bed. Try giving your baby 60 or 90 ml of formula or breast milk before bed. If your baby is over six months old, you could also give him 1 or 2 tbsp. l. (15 or 30 ml) oatmeal before bed.
Give your child a bath before bed. A warm bath can help calm your baby, making it easier to fall asleep.
Read a book to your baby. Choose a book intended for children and read it in a calm and gentle voice.
- Even if the baby cannot understand the meaning of the story you are reading, he will receive a sign that bedtime is approaching, the time before which mom or dad speaks in a calm, rhythmic voice. Additionally, rhythmic text can be found in most children's books, giving them a calming nature.
- Try reading books that have a theme related to sleep. Once your child is old enough to understand what he reads, this process will be even more important in getting ready for bed.
- If your child can't relax after just one book, you can read several books before bed. However, set a reasonable time frame, as reading for long periods of time may keep your baby awake.
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Sing your baby a soothing song - a lullaby. Singing a gentle lullaby or soothing song can help your baby calm down, and rhythmic music is a great addition to the bedtime routine.
- Sing to your baby while holding him in your arms or close to your chest, which will make your baby feel calm. Your gentle voice will have a calming effect on him.
- When it's time to put your baby to bed, sing a lullaby while still holding him in your arms. After a week, make adjustments to your actions; the baby should be in the crib when you start singing the lullaby.
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Give your child a toy before bed. Select a simple toy, which can be a symbol of safety for the baby.
- Avoid toys that are designed for a child's development. While these toys are valuable for daytime playtime, placing them in the crib at night can end up keeping your baby awake.
- You can also try giving your baby a toy specifically designed for sleeping. For example, soft toy, which plays soothing music.
- A blanket with a toy can have the same effect and can be used in place of a toy.
- For very young children, you should position the toy far enough away from them so that the baby can see the toy but cannot grab it. This will protect your child from an accident. There have been cases when a child suffocated with his nose buried in a toy.
Introduce your child to the crib gradually
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Make the crib a pleasant place. During the day, place toys in your baby's crib where he can reach them.
- Do this while playing, not while sleeping.
- Place toys in the crib and encourage your baby to grab them through the bars. After a while, put the baby in the crib so that he can take the toys.
- By placing toys in the crib, you will make the crib a place of “pleasure” for the baby.
- Don't let your baby play in the crib for too long. Your baby should view the crib as a pleasant place, but you should not allow him to view the crib as a place to play and have fun.
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Establish the crib as a place to sleep during the day.
- This can be done gradually. For example, if your baby takes two naps during the day, you can let your baby take one nap where he usually sleeps. However, during the second nap, place your baby in the crib. Once your baby is used to sleeping in the crib for one nap, make it a goal to put him in the crib for the second nap as well.
- Being left alone in the dark can be one of the main reasons why your child is afraid. So, getting your baby used to being in a crib during the day when he doesn't have to deal with his fear of the dark can significantly reduce his anxiety.
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Once your baby is comfortable in the crib during nap time, you can try putting your baby to bed at night.
- In some cases, you could simply leave your baby alone in the crib as during nap time. He may fuss at first, but after a few minutes, your baby can fall asleep without much difficulty.
- If your baby is still showing signs of anxiety, you may need to take additional steps to train your baby to sleep in a crib at night.
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Place a crib in your room. Place the crib next to your bed so your baby can see you as he or she falls asleep.
- If your baby is used to sleeping in your room, the hardest thing for him may be changing the environment he's used to. By moving the crib into your room for a few weeks, you allow your baby to get used to the crib in a comfortable environment.
- Your baby may still feel anxious if their crib is on the opposite side of your room. If this is the case, you will be required to compromise by placing the crib directly next to your bed. Once your baby is comfortable in his crib next to you, gradually move the crib further and further away from your bed.
- When your child has been comfortable sleeping in the crib for a long time, it is time to move the crib back to the nursery.
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Sleeping in the children's room. If your baby has trouble sleeping in his crib, once you move him into the nursery, spend a few nights on a cot or bed sleeping bag next to him in the same room.
- Your presence can have a calming effect on your child and an unfamiliar place can turn into a safe place. Spending a few nights in your child's room while he falls asleep can help him understand that his room is a safe place.
- Once your baby has fallen asleep comfortably in your presence for three or four nights, you can lie further away from him.
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Instead of spending the entire night in your child's room, stay there only when your child falls asleep.
- If necessary, stroke or lightly massage your baby's back while he's babbling so he can feel your presence.
- Start by sitting with your baby so he can see you. When your child feels comfortable, move the chair a little further. Each time your child adjusts to the change in distance, move a little further until you are eventually out of sight.
- Once your baby is comfortable falling asleep without seeing you, you can leave the room and let him fall asleep alone.
Teach your child to sleep separately
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Stop rocking your baby to sleep. If you have been rocking your baby to sleep, stop doing so so your baby can learn to fall asleep without contact with you.
- Wean your baby gradually by rocking him so he relaxes but doesn't fall asleep. Your baby may be fussy when you stop rocking him to sleep, but if he feels relaxed enough, this shouldn't last long.
- Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend rocking your baby until your baby is able to fall asleep without rocking.
- Once your baby gets used to falling asleep without rocking, you can move on to the next stage.
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Use the cradle. If your baby sleeps with you, get him used to a crib or small bassinet placed directly next to your bed.
- Your child may feel more comfortable if he can at least see you. Once your baby has become accustomed to sleeping alone for a few weeks, you may want to consider moving your baby to a nursery.
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Let the child sleep where he is comfortable. Instead of holding your baby during naptime, let your baby fall asleep where he or she is comfortable.
Introduce your baby to the crib throughout the day. Get your baby used to sleeping in it during the day before putting him in his crib for the night.
- Many children fall asleep easily during the day, which cannot be said about falling asleep at night.
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Give your child time to get used to sleeping separately from you at night. This process cannot happen quickly. You may need to stay in the room with your baby when he goes to sleep for the first few weeks.
We focus on comfort
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Calm child relaxed before bed. Do your best to make your baby feel relaxed, which will encourage sleepiness.
- Hold your baby in your arms throughout the day. Let your child's day be filled with games and other activities, he will certainly feel more tired and tired in the evening. As a result, your baby will be less fussy about where he sleeps. This can be especially helpful when planning activities in the hour before bed, as extra energy can be expended during this time.
- Bathe your baby in warm water before bed. Baths are often soothing, and a warm bath can relax your baby's muscles, leaving him feeling physically relaxed. If your child becomes more active after a bath, you should avoid bathing before bed.
- Try to make your easy for baby massage. Gently massage your baby's back, arms, and legs to relax the muscles. If your child becomes more active after a massage, then you should not do it before bed.
In the weeks before your baby sleeps away from you, establish some habits and routines that will let your baby know it's bedtime.
There are no universal recommendations that, after reading, parents would receive an answer to the question of how to teach their child to sleep in his own crib separately from his parents. Should you trust the opinions of strangers when it comes to your own baby?
Maybe you should still listen to your own intuition or look at the child’s behavior?
Each mother (and most often she is the one who puts her to bed) determines for herself whether her daughter or son will sleep next to her (displacing dad on the sofa for an indefinite period) or on their own in their own crib. Psychologists say that sleeping together strengthens the bond between mother and newborn. But practice, as always, shows its worth.
When the child is on artificial feeding, problems with co-sleeping may not even arise. It’s another matter if the baby depends on the mother, especially since today feeding on demand is practiced, that is, exactly as many times as the baby wants. Just imagine, if a child is constantly “hanging” on his mother, and this happens most often, what kind of separate sleep can we even talk about? If a woman gets up to see the baby every 15 minutes (and even after an hour or an hour and a half), then by morning, instead of a well-rested, loving and smiling mother, an evil, despicable Baba Yaga will come out of the room. And so we ate, and everyone slept).
Of course, many will say - “this is not an option”! But to preserve the psychological climate in the family, you can make concessions of this kind. By the way, don’t forget about the teeth - when they cut, the child still sleeps next to his mother (read between the lines - “on mom”) and there’s nothing you can do about it. And any kind of disease requires mother’s constant presence.
In general, situations are different. For example, one mother’s baby began to sleep separately when he was weaned. And I must say, the process was completely painless. Another immediately taught her baby to sleep in a crib, and in the end, when the girl turned 1.5 years old, she very successfully migrated to her parents’ bed. So, here’s how it will work out.
But if you are determined to take on the situation and independently find the answer to the question of how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents, know that there are a number of nuances that young parents need to know.
How to determine if your baby is ready to sleep independently
First of all, it is worth knowing what is meant by the phrase “independent sleep.” So, if your baby can fall asleep quickly (usually in 30-40 minutes) without being rocked to sleep, and only wakes up at night to feed or sleeps peacefully all night, he is ready to move into bed.
If a child sleeps in his crib for several nights and suddenly begins to wake up at night and ask to come back to you, do not force him to sleep separately. Perhaps he is experiencing discomfort from losing contact with his mother, or he simply had a bad dream. Let him stay with you for a couple of nights (no more, otherwise the process will have to start all over again). 
If you use force and coercion, the child will develop a feeling of hostility or even fear of his own bed, which can ultimately lead to constant hysterics.
Correctly calculate the child's age. If your baby is about 6-7 months old, but purely due to psychological development will not be able to sleep separately from his mother (unless he is accustomed to this from birth). He needs to constantly smell her, the feeling of warmth and comfort emanating from her.
It is believed that the most suitable age for getting used to the bed is 1.5-2 years.
He can already listen to a bedtime story and understand mom’s (dad’s) arguments. And closer to three years, children develop their first urges to demonstrate independence and a sense of their own “I”. And this moment can be called the most suitable for the child to start sleeping in his own bed
In addition, at this age children begin to go to kindergarten - and there they are quickly accustomed to sleep without rocking, patting, reading fairy tales and endlessly singing songs (in different faces).
And no matter how strange it may sound, it is also important for the mother to show a sincere desire to sleep separately from the baby. During their time together, many mothers get so used to having their child around all the time that on a subconscious level they do not want to part with him. Children feel this and then all attempts to teach the child to sleep separately are doomed to failure.
Special regime
Teaching your baby to sleep in his own crib is enough difficult task. And specifically for this, various methods and techniques have been developed to allow the child to survive the resulting stress.
You can use the method described by Spock, the essence of which is to gradually teach the child to remain alone. Or resort to the advice of Dr. Komarovsky. Each parent chooses their own path, the main thing is not to harm the child.
Imagine the situation: you put your child to bed and left the room, expecting him to fall asleep peacefully. But what happened differently? Know that in 90% of cases, children will cry, start calling mom and dad, they may even throw a tantrum, start banging their hands and feet on the crib with all their might and choke on sobs.
Few parents can stand this, and therefore, after about ten minutes in most cases, mom and dad rush to their little child, who immediately and quite consciously begins to realize that his technique was a success. And since this was a key moment in the child’s struggle for his own comfort, now he will resort to this simple manipulation in most cases.
Child psychologists advise introducing certain habits and rules some time before the child learns to sleep separately from his parents. They are the ones who will allow the baby to understand (over time, of course) that it is time for sleep. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to do everything strictly according to the regulations - it is enough to perform a couple of actions. For example, a bedtime ritual might include:
You can resort to a little trick - take your baby's favorite toy and put it to sleep with him - first with his mother, and then in the crib. Even if the child wakes up at night, he will see her and feel safe. As a rule, children perceive their toys as living beings; they talk to them, feed them and walk them. This is exactly what you should count on when teaching your child to fall asleep with his plush friend. Try to tell your baby that the toy likes to sleep separately, and if the child is afraid of something (due to age, children often drink away the feeling of unmotivated fear), his friend will stand up for him until his mother comes.
It is very important to use the principle of gradualism. Its essence is as follows: the mother, having put the baby to bed at the right time and having completed all the necessary rituals, must leave the room. If the child starts crying, you need to go up to him, calm him down (but do not take him out of the crib under any circumstances) and again, wishing him a good sleep, leave. Over time, this will begin to work, the main thing is that when you wish your child good night for the second time, slowly check whether his diaper or diaper needs to be changed.
It is appropriate to use this technique when the child is over a year old. It is worth remembering that in the process of getting used to it, the baby can put on performances up to 15 times during one night. Over time, he will, of course, calm down and be able to fall asleep, but parents should not give up and back down. And then, within a month or two, the child will get used to sleeping separately and will even enjoy it (when he understands that he can freely kick and throw his arms around).
Some nuances
There are situations when you should not teach your child to sleep separately in a crib until a certain age. This is due to a number of reasons:
So, what before parents Deciding that their baby should sleep separately is all the better. But don't overdo it and panic if your baby doesn't sleep in his crib. Some children have a very difficult time being alone at night (especially if there is a second child in the family).
Just give him time - and he will be able to manifest himself. The main thing to remember: under no circumstances should you frighten your baby, scold him or get angry if he categorically refuses to sleep separately. Perhaps his time has not yet come, and insisting on this will only cause harm to the child, which will negatively affect his health and mental state.
