The word “communication” comes from the word “common”. The child develops in communication with adults. Communication of this type has a great influence not only on the development of the child’s psyche, but also on his physical development. Several specific types of communication can be noted. For example, in sociology, communication is understood as a method of maintaining the status quo of the social system of society, namely to the extent that the relationship between society and man is implied. And from a psychological point of view, communication is the maintenance of interactions between people. Communication is the contact of two or more individuals who have a common goal, namely to build relationships. Any person tries to know and appreciate other people. Based on this, he has the opportunity to self-knowledge.
Communication with adults plays an important role in the development of a child. How he can behave when communicating with adults. The highest functions of mental development in the very initial stage are created externally and not one person, but two or more, take part in its formation. And only then do they move into internal formation. For young children, communication with adults is auditory, sensorimotor and many other sources of influence. A child at this age always monitors the activities of adults and tries to imitate all their movements. For many, their role models are their parents themselves.
There are a number of methods of communication between children and adults. How should children behave when communicating with adults? If there is insufficient interaction between children and adults, then the rate of mental development decreases and resistance to disease increases. And if there is completely no contact with adults, then it is very difficult for children to become human and remain similar to animals, such as Mowgli and others. However, communication between children and adults at different stages has its own characteristics. For example, in early childhood, a child reacts to the voice of adults much earlier than to any other signals. In the absence of contact with adults, reactions to auditory and visual stimuli slow down. For example, in a child, the preschool period is assumed to be a period when they master the space of interactions, thanks to communication with adults. During this period, it is very important, first of all, to communicate with peers. If a given child has had proper communication with adults, then he will not have developed inferiority complexes. For example, if he goes on a visit where there are many peers and adults, then he will be able to behave correctly with both peers and adults. And those children who are deprived of full communication with adults have insufficient attention from, perhaps, their parents. During school age, communication with adults is already at a different stage of development. School sets new challenges for the child. Communication in this case is formed as a school of social interactions. The entire development of a child from the very first days of life to the end of life occurs through communication. At the very beginning, the child communicates with his close adult, and then his social circle increases, children accumulate all the information, do analysis, and even become critical.
Full communication between adults and children leads to the full mental development of the child and helps not only the process of correct and normal mental development, but can also become a “medicinal remedy” for unfavorable genetic development.
For example, children with mental retardation were divided into several groups: experimental and control. At the age of three, the children were placed in the care of women who also had mental development problems. They were also in special institutions. And another group of children remained to live in the orphanage. Thirteen years later, researchers received data on the children's condition. About eight-ten-five percent of children in the control group were able to graduate from high school, and four of them graduated from college. Many became very independent and full-fledged people and were even able to adapt to life. Many of the children who remained in the experimental group died, and those who survived also remained in special institutions. Personality is an integral psychological system that arose in the process of people’s life and activity and performs a function related to the people around them.” Communication between children and adults has its own characteristics. Adults, in turn, have different types of behavior, different characters, and even develop different relationships between themselves and their children. There are cases when maternal love and warmth are absent, as a result of which children develop distrust of adults or even all the people around them. Even proper parenting depends on communication. If a child sees respect and love in the family, then he cannot behave differently when communicating with adults.
In this article, I will talk about what typical mistakes parents make in relation to their grown-up children, and then - how you can build relationships with your adult children so that they satisfy both parties.
The eternal theme “Fathers and Sons”... How many generations have changed since the existence of man, and the question “HOW TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULT CHILDREN?” remains one of the most important and fundamental in families today.
Some people are not satisfied with these relationships, some believe that this is how it should be, some do not see the problem, and only a few receive true joy from communicating with each other.
The main reason for misunderstanding in such relationships is the THOUGHT THAT “MY CHILD IS MINE FOREVER!”
No, dear moms and dads, your children are individual individuals and after 18 years old they must take full responsibility for their own lives and happiness into their own hands.
From the moment your son or daughter turns 18, you must understand that the role of a mother is in the past for you, now you can be on equal terms as 2 adults and individuals. From this time on, the mother's role changes and she acts more as a friend rather than as a guardian.
The basis of everything is RESPECT for your own grown child. It is the lack of genuine respect that prevents parents from treating their children as equals.
The main mistakes in the behavior of parents with adult children:
- 1. Parents believe that their children will remain in their power forever. This is a misconception. The more you try to exert power in the relationship, the stronger the resistance from your son or daughter will be.
- 2. Instructions on how to live, what to do, how and where to study and work. By doing this, you are telling your adult son or daughter that he is not capable of making decisions and choosing for himself.
- 3. The thought that he owes you (for being born; for raising him; for taking care of him). This is also a misconception. Your son or daughter does not owe you anything. When you decided to have a child, it was your decision, you wanted it. Another thing is that children need to be raised in such a way that children have a feeling of great gratitude to their parents.
- 4. Violation of boundaries. Often parents come in with unsolicited advice, trying to influence the choice of a life partner and planning a new family.
- 5. Resentment. Resentments indicate that on both sides (parents and children) there are understatements and past traumas. Very often, parents are offended by their children because they are not satisfied with the attitude and coldness on the part of their adult children.
You can still list the mistakes of parents for a very long time, the essence, the reason for all of them will be this:
- - Our children grew up and we suddenly found ourselves UNNEEDED... Yes, we need to admit it to ourselves. Imagine, this usually happens to those parents who have dedicated their entire lives to their child. And suddenly - emptiness... What to do with yourself? Therefore, mothers and fathers continue their “Business” of education. The feeling of uselessness arises only when a person does not need himself.
- “Parents still want pleasure from an adult child. Hence the grievances, instructions, demands, advice. Once upon a time you gave birth in order to enjoy it (play, care, admire - think about it, it was you who received positive emotions!). Now you want to continue...
- - Reluctance or fear to live your own life.
The underlying reason is selfishness. Who is interested in learning about how to deal with adult children?
Olga Chusovitina
Conversation “Rules of Etiquette”
Etiquette rules
People know from childhood,
"What's happened - etiquette» .
Etiquette is magic rules that will help you become a well-mannered, polite and friendly person. Knowing these rules, you will be able to more easily and simply communicate with your friends, parents, loved ones and complete strangers. You can easily learn how say hello correctly, giving and receiving gifts, how to visit, talk on the phone and much more...
Well, are you ready to learn? Then let's get to work!
Greeting rules
Rules greetings are a very important step in learning rules of etiquette. After all, the first thing we do when meeting a familiar person is to greet him.
It is very important to know that a well-mannered person never expects to be greeted. Don’t let yourself get ahead of yourself - do it yourself, especially if you meet an acquaintance older than you.
It is indecent to wave your arms and shout "at the top of his lungs", if the people you would like to say hello to are far away from you. It will be enough to simply nod to them when you meet their gaze.
Loud, surprised greetings cannot be called a greeting. exclamations: "bah - who do I see", "Well, finally", "Where have you been".
Don’t be afraid to say hello to a person once again if you meet him more than once during the day. Greet him with a smile, or a nod of your head, or a slight wave of your hand.
Table manners
Don't put your elbows on the table: they can interfere with a neighbor, and they take up a lot of space. It is very indecent to rock in a chair.
Don't talk with your mouth full - chew and swallow, then speak, don't slurp - try to eat silently.
To make chewing easier, do not bite off too large pieces.
Put as much food on your plate as you can eat.
Meat, served in a large piece, is usually eaten with a fork and knife: fork in left hand, knife in right. You cut the meat into small pieces, set the knife aside, take the fork right hand - and eat for yourself! This manner of eating demonstrates good manners (the plate looks neater).
There is no need to eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork, and also do not use a knife if you can get by with the same fork. For example, fish, cutlets, and aspic are not cut with a knife—small pieces are broken off with a fork.
Garnish (potatoes, vegetables, pasta) Use the bread to scoop onto your fork, not your fingers.
Wipe your hands and lips with napkins, never with your hands, tablecloth, or clothes.
If you want to try some dish that is far from you, do not reach across the table for it, but ask politely to pass it along.
From common dishes, serve food not with your spoon or fork, but with those that are on the common dish.
Sweets such as cakes and pastries are not eaten from the hand, but are broken off with a spoon in a plate.
And most importantly: you must definitely thank the person who prepared and served your dishes, say magic "Thank you"!
Rules table manners are very important in today's world. A festive table, a trip to a cafe or restaurant, a romantic or friendly dinner cannot do without basic rules of etiquette.
Rules politeness when speaking
It's so nice when they listen to you attentively! But did you know that you also need to be able to listen!
If someone contacts you, and you are busy with something at that time, put aside your affairs for a while and look at interlocutor, show him your willingness to participate in the conversation.
Never interrupt! Listen carefully and until the end. Your comments and tips interlocutor during his conversation - inappropriate.
When several people are involved in a conversation, you should not react to speech that is not addressed to you.
When companion in your presence begins to behave tactlessly, speak harshly and irritably, try to stop the conversation, but gently and without challenge.
If you hear people starting to discuss and call others names in your presence, try to shift the conversation to another topic.
Always remember that a long conversation is very tiring for you. interlocutor. Don't be too chatty.
Believe me, your listener has something to say, so give him the opportunity to join the conversation.
Be friendly and considerate of who you are talking to. Be able to end the conversation in time if you see that your the interlocutor is in a hurry, before he himself tells you about it. Try to change the topic of conversation if you notice that it is unpleasant for the person or is uninteresting.
In order not to put your listener in an awkward position, do not use words in a conversation whose meaning he may not know, as well as those whose meaning is not entirely clear to you.
In order not to be branded "gossip" ("gossip girl", do not criticize or discuss other people. Those who are absent are spoken only of good things, or better yet, nothing at all.
It's rude to wave your arms while talking (gesticulate). Express yourself precisely and clearly and this will be enough to companion I understood you without difficulty.
Rules for Conversation
The rules of conversation will help you correctly start and carry on a conversation. You will learn how to interest interlocutor and not get bored with him in the process conversations. Moreover, these rules will make you even more educated and cultured than before.
Don't brag. Don't humiliate interlocutor, trying to tease him or rise at his expense.
If you are asked questions, be sure to answer them.
In a group, it is impolite to whisper to just one person. Others might think you're talking mean things about them, or they might assume you're neglecting them.
Don't interfere with conversation between two when they talk in private. At this point, it is best to gently move away.
Don't have the habit of complaining. The image of a constant whiner turns people off.
Try to remember what you talked about last time so that you can show it when you meet again. interlocutor how interested you were in him.
Do not litter your speech with curses, slang and rude words.
Try not to speak too loudly, especially in public places. Believe me, they listen not to the one who screams loudest, but to the one who knows how to speak interestingly and intelligently.
Now you know rules of conversation, which means now you can support any conversation, being confident that your companion I will only have a good opinion of you.
Rules of Friendship
Who do you spend most of your time with? Of course, with friends. Do you know about rules of friendship?
If not, be sure to check out them:
Always help your comrade: if you know how to do something, teach him to do it too; If a friend is in trouble, help him in any way you can.
Tell a friend the truth"in the eyes": if he fails in something right - tell him about it, or praise when he has done a good deed. Stop your friend if he is doing something bad.
Try not to quarrel with friends, do not argue over trifles. Don't get arrogant if you do something better than them. Don’t envy your comrades - you need to be able to rejoice in their successes. If you did something bad, don't be shy to admit it and get better.
Learn to accept help, advice and comments from other guys
Rules of Friendship
Rules Friendships will help you make many friends who will be happy to be friends with you and spend their free time.
There is such a proverb - “Don’t have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends!”
If you really want to have many friends, listen to a few councils:
Never be rude to your comrades, do not raise your voice at them. Don't call them offensive names or make fun of their failures. Don't give them nicknames, don't humiliate them - it's offensive.
Do not try to hit or push someone in order to take a convenient place for you.
Don't forget to say hello to all your friends. Even with those of them who are very small. You can and should be friends with little kids, big kids, boys and girls.
If you are offended by your friend for something, try to quickly forgive him for your offense and make peace. Don't be angry!
If your friend asks you for something, never be greedy, give it to him! Always share what you have with your friends.
Be obligatory! If you yourself took a book or toy from a friend, handle these things carefully and do not forget to return them on time (when your friend asked or when you promised).
Don’t snitch on trifles, but you still need to tell adults about serious tricks.
Rules Every schoolchild should know friendships - after all, they help you find friends not only during your studies, but also for life.
Etiquette rules- How to behave with adults
Do you know how to behave with adults? Do you always comply with these rules? If you know and follow these well rules, then you will always be considered a well-mannered, cultured and intelligent child.
First of all, it is customary to address adults as “you”. Greetings that you use when communicating with peers and relatives: “hello” and “bye” in relation to adults who are strangers to you are inappropriate. Use these instead: How: “hello” and “goodbye”.
Younger people should always greet you first, as with any acquaintance, without waiting for them to greet you first.
By a man's rules(boys) when meeting each other they serve right palm for handshake. If you are wearing gloves on your hands, do not forget to take off the one you will be greeting with before greeting.
Kisses and hugs when meeting are very personal. You can afford such a greeting only with close and well-known people, with mutual consent.
You cannot interfere in the conversation of adults and comment on what they say to each other. And if you definitely want to say something or ask a question, you need to ask permission.
When you meet someone again during the day, don’t forget about these magical words of greeting: How: “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening” or “glad to see you / you again”. Even a simple nod of the head and a good-natured smile will be enough in this situation.
That's it, now you know how to behave with adults. Treat adults and older people with respect - this is a sign of good upbringing!
Original taken from
vsegda_tvoj
1. Ignore them
2. Bribe them
3. Compliment them
4. Listen to them
5. Ask for forgiveness
6. If he wants, let him do it
7. Don't tell them what to do.
8. Don’t complain to them about their life.
9. Don't argue
10. Don't make them cry
Natalia Klimenchenko,
How well-mannered, cultured and intelligent a child is is most often assessed by adults: grandparents, your friends, their parents, neighbors. Therefore, impeccable manners in communicating with adults are the surest way to pride in your child in the most “adult” companies.
Rules of conduct with adults are based on respect for elders. The tradition of respecting age and especially polite attitude of younger people towards elders is present in many national cultures. Behaving politely with elders is a universal norm of behavior for all civilized people. Every person needs to know and follow them.
First, you need to explain to your child the difference between elders and peers. After all, inquisitive children are great at noticing differences in the behavior of their parents: not everyone they know, mom and dad, behave the same way.
With elders all over the world, communication etiquette is based on respect for age and experience. And if in a specific situation it is simply not clear how to behave, proceed from the rule of respect for your elders.
They keep their distance when communicating with older people: they behave with restraint and caution.
Older people are addressed as “you”. Exceptions: close relatives, family members.
For friends: “Hello!”, “Bye!”. For older people: “Hello!”, “Goodbye!”
The child always greets the adult first and does not wait for the adult to greet the child.
If adults are talking, a cultured child does not interrupt them. And he certainly doesn’t comment on what they say. If you absolutely need to ask or say something, you should apologize and ask permission to interrupt the conversation: “Sorry, I need to ask,” “Excuse me, can I interrupt you?”
When talking with adults, cultured children do not shout, do not play around, and often say polite words.
Children do not enter into arguments or conflicts with elders and patiently listen to their comments. And only after the elder has finished speaking can they politely and calmly express their opinion or disagreement.
It is still considered good form to help older people: for example, give up your seat on public transport, hold the door, etc. Especially if an elderly person asked for it.
Etiquette for communicating with elders is the very area of good manners where the personal example of parents decides almost everything. If your family respects elders and treats age with sufficient respect, your child will learn these rules from childhood and will abide by them. Including with you... about 30 years from now.
The Times correspondent Tad Safren came up with 10 rules for treating women based on his experience with his 2-year-old niece Lu-Lu.
I'm single. I'm over thirty. I've been trying to understand women for 20 years now, but it doesn't always work. And only six months ago I had the opportunity to look into a woman’s mind, to understand how it works. Lu-Lu, my two-year-old niece, helped me with this. I know, I know: since I’m an adult, I’m supposed to teach her all sorts of useful things, and not vice versa, but in this case the learning was mutual.
I taught her to wink, blow wind on purpose, burp and count to 10. In the latter case, it was not entirely successful. “One, two, three, seven, nine, ten” - which personally suits me quite well: I always thought that the meaning of the numerals “four”, “five”, “six” and “eight” was somewhat exaggerated.
In return, I learned more about women in two months than I had learned through personal experience in two decades. Just don't think that I think women are two-year-old children who deserve to be treated as such. I love my niece. I respect my niece. For the sake of my niece, I will cover an unexploded grenade with myself - and not just to cheer up the little girl. Actually, I will only fall on a grenade if there is a real danger that it will explode and the girl will get hurt.
Every woman is an individual, and I make generalizations, but in the soul of two-year-old Lu-Lu lives the undiluted, unspoiled essence - so to speak, the subconscious expression, the Freudian "it" - of femininity. I'll list what I learned.
1. Ignore them.
If, upon entering the room, I approach Lu-Lu like a clown, trying to keep her busy and entertained, she will pretend not to notice me at all. It's like I don't exist. If I walk past her, I guarantee she will call my name and want to play with me.
2. Bribe them.
Gifts are effective. Preferably noisy or shiny. In Lu-Lu's case, that means singing stuffed animals or glittery hair clips. Apparently, for adult women the analogue would be, for example, cars and jewelry.
3. Compliment them.
I always thought - but in vain - that compliments are like diamonds: they are valuable only when they are rare. Throw a large batch onto the market, and they will depreciate. Not at all. Lu-Lu relieves herself in her diaper, everyone applauds - as if she had just discovered how to effectively save the planet from starvation - and the baby simply blossoms with joy. The same method works in relationships with older women, although, of course, I am talking about a general technique, and not the clear example given here (alas, I learned this lesson at the cost of some sacrifices).
4. Listen to them.
All my life I have tried to guess in advance what women want. But there was no need to stress. If I am attentive, Lu-Lu will clearly tell me what she wants: to eat, dance, doll, jump, run, sing, play, read. All I have to do is arrange everything. How much easier my life would be if I listened to what women had to say and acted on what they said.
5. Ask for forgiveness.
It doesn't matter what you've done. It doesn't matter if you don't even know what you've done. I may have deeply offended Lu-Lu by putting the wrong doll in her stroller. What seems like a minor offense to me or you, for her is something comparable to genocide. The best method is to throw yourself at her mercy and beg for forgiveness. But your voice must be sincere. It is not necessary that you sincerely repent - it is enough to pretend. It’s as simple as two and two - but a lot of men ignore this advice...
6. If he wants, let him do it.
It doesn't matter what it's about. No matter how stupid this business or activity may seem to you, do not interfere with her - let her do it. If Lu-Lu gets something into her head, you can’t talk her out of it. Strictly speaking, support a woman in her endeavors and even encourage her. And then relax and hope that she will discover on her own what a stupid idea this is. The trouble is that she might think the idea is great. Once, without understanding how, I played a doll tea party for two whole hours and pretended to drink so many cups of tea that I then pretended to run to the toilet until the evening.
7. Don't tell them what to do.
The best way to ensure that she doesn't do what you want her to do is to tell her to do it. The wisest thing is to give her the impression that the initiative comes from her. I'm very proud of myself, for example, for convincing Lu-Lu that watching the Rugby World Cup final is much more fun than playing in the sandbox.
8. Don't complain to them about life.
This is a difficult moment. What I mean is that a woman should not be burdened with her petty problems. When I complain to Lu-Lu about a bad meeting or a bad back, she remains completely unmoved, but if something is really wrong, she instinctively senses it and hugs me - and just lifts my spirit incredibly.
9. Don't argue.
It just doesn't make sense. You will never win an argument, and even if you win, it will not give you anything good: her mood will deteriorate for a long time. To be honest, why bother? And here we come to my final and most important recommendation:
10. Don't make them cry.
There is no more depressing picture than seeing Lu-Lu's huge, innocent brown eyes fill with tears, and her mouth open, drool and turn into a mournful air raid siren that pierces my heart. When she cries, I am completely defenseless in front of her. And there is no cure for crying known to science. Should I give her something to eat? Draw a monkey in front of her? Buy her a pony? Gouge out your eye with a toothpick? I’m ready to do anything so that she doesn’t cry... but she cries...
What rules do you have?
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Source: The Times
Preview photo: bohemianspirit
Olga Chusovitina
Conversation “Rules of Etiquette”
Etiquette rules
People know from childhood,
"What's happened - etiquette» .
Etiquette is magic rules that will help you become a well-mannered, polite and friendly person. Knowing these rules, you will be able to more easily and simply communicate with your friends, parents, loved ones and complete strangers. You can easily learn how say hello correctly, giving and receiving gifts, how to visit, talk on the phone and much more...
Well, are you ready to learn? Then let's get to work!
Greeting rules
Rules greetings are a very important step in learning rules of etiquette. After all, the first thing we do when meeting a familiar person is to greet him.
It is very important to know that a well-mannered person never expects to be greeted. Don’t let yourself get ahead of yourself - do it yourself, especially if you meet an acquaintance older than you.
It is indecent to wave your arms and shout "at the top of his lungs", if the people you would like to say hello to are far away from you. It will be enough to simply nod to them when you meet their gaze.
Loud, surprised greetings cannot be called a greeting. exclamations: "bah - who do I see", "Well, finally", "Where have you been".
Don’t be afraid to say hello to a person once again if you meet him more than once during the day. Greet him with a smile, or a nod of your head, or a slight wave of your hand.
Table manners
Don't put your elbows on the table: they can interfere with a neighbor, and they take up a lot of space. It is very indecent to rock in a chair.
Don't talk with your mouth full - chew and swallow, then speak, don't slurp - try to eat silently.
To make chewing easier, do not bite off too large pieces.
Put as much food on your plate as you can eat.
Meat, served in a large piece, is usually eaten with a fork and knife: fork in left hand, knife in right. You cut the meat into small pieces, set the knife aside, take the fork right hand - and eat for yourself! This manner of eating demonstrates good manners (the plate looks neater).
There is no need to eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork, and also do not use a knife if you can get by with the same fork. For example, fish, cutlets, and aspic are not cut with a knife—small pieces are broken off with a fork.
Garnish (potatoes, vegetables, pasta) Use the bread to scoop onto your fork, not your fingers.
Wipe your hands and lips with napkins, never with your hands, tablecloth, or clothes.
If you want to try some dish that is far from you, do not reach across the table for it, but ask politely to pass it along.
From common dishes, serve food not with your spoon or fork, but with those that are on the common dish.
Sweets such as cakes and pastries are not eaten from the hand, but are broken off with a spoon in a plate.
And most importantly: you must definitely thank the person who prepared and served your dishes, say magic "Thank you"!
Rules table manners are very important in today's world. A festive table, a trip to a cafe or restaurant, a romantic or friendly dinner cannot do without basic rules of etiquette.
Rules politeness when speaking
It's so nice when they listen to you attentively! But did you know that you also need to be able to listen!
If someone contacts you, and you are busy with something at that time, put aside your affairs for a while and look at interlocutor, show him your willingness to participate in the conversation.
Never interrupt! Listen carefully and until the end. Your comments and tips interlocutor during his conversation - inappropriate.
When several people are involved in a conversation, you should not react to speech that is not addressed to you.
When companion in your presence begins to behave tactlessly, speak harshly and irritably, try to stop the conversation, but gently and without challenge.
If you hear people starting to discuss and call others names in your presence, try to shift the conversation to another topic.
Always remember that a long conversation is very tiring for you. interlocutor. Don't be too chatty.
Believe me, your listener has something to say, so give him the opportunity to join the conversation.
Be friendly and considerate of who you are talking to. Be able to end the conversation in time if you see that your the interlocutor is in a hurry, before he himself tells you about it. Try to change the topic of conversation if you notice that it is unpleasant for the person or is uninteresting.
In order not to put your listener in an awkward position, do not use words in a conversation whose meaning he may not know, as well as those whose meaning is not entirely clear to you.
In order not to be branded "gossip" ("gossip girl", do not criticize or discuss other people. Those who are absent are spoken only of good things, or better yet, nothing at all.
It's rude to wave your arms while talking (gesticulate). Express yourself precisely and clearly and this will be enough to companion I understood you without difficulty.
Rules for Conversation
The rules of conversation will help you correctly start and carry on a conversation. You will learn how to interest interlocutor and not get bored with him in the process conversations. Moreover, these rules will make you even more educated and cultured than before.
Don't brag. Don't humiliate interlocutor, trying to tease him or rise at his expense.
If you are asked questions, be sure to answer them.
In a group, it is impolite to whisper to just one person. Others might think you're talking mean things about them, or they might assume you're neglecting them.
Don't interfere with conversation between two when they talk in private. At this point, it is best to gently move away.
Don't have the habit of complaining. The image of a constant whiner turns people off.
Try to remember what you talked about last time so that you can show it when you meet again. interlocutor how interested you were in him.
Do not litter your speech with curses, slang and rude words.
Try not to speak too loudly, especially in public places. Believe me, they listen not to the one who screams loudest, but to the one who knows how to speak interestingly and intelligently.
Now you know rules of conversation, which means now you can support any conversation, being confident that your companion I will only have a good opinion of you.
Rules of Friendship
Who do you spend most of your time with? Of course, with friends. Do you know about rules of friendship?
If not, be sure to check out them:
Always help your comrade: if you know how to do something, teach him to do it too; If a friend is in trouble, help him in any way you can.
Tell a friend the truth"in the eyes": if he fails in something right - tell him about it, or praise when he has done a good deed. Stop your friend if he is doing something bad.
Try not to quarrel with friends, do not argue over trifles. Don't get arrogant if you do something better than them. Don’t envy your comrades - you need to be able to rejoice in their successes. If you did something bad, don't be shy to admit it and get better.
Learn to accept help, advice and comments from other guys
Rules of Friendship
Rules Friendships will help you make many friends who will be happy to be friends with you and spend their free time.
There is such a proverb - “Don’t have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends!”
If you really want to have many friends, listen to a few councils:
Never be rude to your comrades, do not raise your voice at them. Don't call them offensive names or make fun of their failures. Don't give them nicknames, don't humiliate them - it's offensive.
Do not try to hit or push someone in order to take a convenient place for you.
Don't forget to say hello to all your friends. Even with those of them who are very small. You can and should be friends with little kids, big kids, boys and girls.
If you are offended by your friend for something, try to quickly forgive him for your offense and make peace. Don't be angry!
If your friend asks you for something, never be greedy, give it to him! Always share what you have with your friends.
Be obligatory! If you yourself took a book or toy from a friend, handle these things carefully and do not forget to return them on time (when your friend asked or when you promised).
Don’t snitch on trifles, but you still need to tell adults about serious tricks.
Rules Every schoolchild should know friendships - after all, they help you find friends not only during your studies, but also for life.
Etiquette rules— How to behave with adults
Do you know how to behave with adults? Do you always comply with these rules? If you know and follow these well rules, then you will always be considered a well-mannered, cultured and intelligent child.
First of all, it is customary to address adults as “you”. Greetings that you use when communicating with peers and relatives: “hello” and “bye” in relation to adults who are strangers to you are inappropriate. Use these instead: How: “hello” and “goodbye”.
Younger people should always greet you first, as with any acquaintance, without waiting for them to greet you first.
By a man's rules(boys) when meeting each other they serve right palm for handshake. If you are wearing gloves on your hands, do not forget to take off the one you will be greeting with before greeting.
Kisses and hugs when meeting are very personal. You can afford such a greeting only with close and well-known people, with mutual consent.
You cannot interfere in the conversation of adults and comment on what they say to each other. And if you definitely want to say something or ask a question, you need to ask permission.
When you meet someone again during the day, don’t forget about these magical words of greeting: How: “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening” or “glad to see you / you again”. Even a simple nod of the head and a good-natured smile will be enough in this situation.
That's it, now you know how to behave with adults. Treat adults and older people with respect - this is a sign of good upbringing!
Good afternoon, dear readers! Being a parent is both very rewarding and difficult. It is not always possible to find an approach to a child and establish healthy contact with him, especially when children grow up and leave their parents’ home to go free. Today I want to raise the topic: how to communicate with adult children. Parents often make mistakes that greatly interfere with healthy relationships with their children. Let's look at what these errors are and how you can correct the situation.
Be a parent
As children, we don’t think about how difficult it sometimes is for our mothers and fathers. They try to do everything possible for our happy future, guide and mentor us. Every mother worries about her child tirelessly, even in her sleep, even when she is nearby.
But once we become a parent ourselves, something clicks in our heads. There are so many parenting tips, special books, trainings, films around that you get lost and don’t understand how to do everything, how not to miss anything, how.
While the baby is very small, the mother does not sleep at night, worries, worries. This state does not leave even when the daughter turns eighteen, twenty-five or thirty-nine. Excitement still continues to live in the mother’s heart. And this is absolutely normal, the main thing is to learn to deal with it competently and not interfere in the life of an adult child.
I bring to your attention a wonderful article that will help you learn to cope with anxiety and worries about your children - “”. If you learn to control these emotions, it will become much easier for you to communicate with both small children, teenagers, and adults.
Reasons for misunderstanding
Why can it be so difficult to build a healthy relationship with an adult son or daughter? In many ways, everything depends on parental perception, desires and behavior. A mother or father cannot fully accept the fact that their baby has already grown up, that he is not small and it is time to stop protecting and raising him. There is still a feeling that he needs to be helped and advised.
In addition, when children leave home, there is a feeling that parents are no longer needed. Feeling abandoned. Because of this, resentment, anger, and irritation come. I forgot, didn’t call, didn’t show up, and so on.
The mother continues to feel her power even over her adult son. Of course, being little, he was completely dependent on her. It was necessary to ask permission, obey, and be punished for an offense. The feeling of power sometimes remains, but the child no longer needs such strong protection. He has the right to decide for himself and make choices.
The feeling that the son or daughter owes something. They must devote a lot of time to their parents, they must constantly call and come to visit. And due to unjustified hopes and expectations, only unnecessary problems appear and relationships deteriorate.
Another reason is personal space. Parents try to give advice, understand the situation, help, but this is no longer necessary. An adult daughter herself can cope with the issue of work or relationship with her spouse. But the mother still continues to be involved in her daughter’s personal life. This violation of boundaries leads to quarrels.
Sometimes parents begin to catch their adult children cheating. This is not uncommon, to be honest. Many adults do not tell their mother the whole truth. Be sure to read the article "". In it you will find a description of many reasons why children act this way towards their parents. This does not always happen out of malicious intent.
Establish communication
How can you make communication with children enjoyable and useful for both parties? First, you need to understand that your daughter or son is already an adult and independent, that they themselves can make decisions, make choices, make mistakes, stumble, but they will definitely cope with everything without your help. And when it’s hard for them, they will definitely come to you.
Just be willing to offer support and parenting advice. But only when you are asked to do so.
Secondly, learn not to be offended by insufficient attention from children. Remember, they have their own lives, their own families, and it is not always possible to find time to communicate with their parents. It's not as scary as it might seem at first glance. Do you spend a lot of time with your parents?
Instead of being offended, talk, calmly explain that you would like to see each other more often, call each other in the evenings or whenever possible. Don't swear or blame your child.
Third, get busy with your life. You really need the ability to switch attention to yourself now. Find your husband, travel, find him, take care of your grandchildren if you already have them. Give your child freedom. Give this freedom to yourself too.
Now you can finally completely devote time to yourself and only yourself. This is a wonderful period. Enjoy it.
If you can’t cope on your own, then seek help from a psychologist. and together we will try to solve your problem. Buy Natalia Manukhina’s book “ Parents and adult children" It contains very interesting and useful thoughts that will help you better understand your adult child and yourself.
What is the most common cause of conflict with your child? How did your relationship with your parents develop as you grew up? What do you expect from your children?
I am sure that you will definitely be able to establish contact with children.
Good luck to you!
