Report: Body language, or how to read the thoughts of others by their gestures. Allan Pease - Body Language

General understanding of body language

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociologist, specialist in the field of nonverbal speech, emerged. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, a nonverbal person enjoys observing the nonverbal signs and signals of human communication. He watches them at formal functions, on the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies human behavior, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that in more than a million years of human evolution, nonverbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and their existence became known to the public only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on nonverbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today, most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of nonverbal communication; for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When talkies became popular and less attention was paid to the nonverbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with strong verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.

Regarding the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are recognized by researchers today all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1,000 nonverbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transfer of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through audio means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research regarding the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence on average lasts no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in a conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the view that the verbal channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to “discuss” interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what kind of movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what kind of voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.

Many people find it difficult to accept that humans are still biological beings. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless ape that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. It is surprising that the human animal is rarely aware that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a feeling, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone is telling a lie, what we really mean is that we have noticed a discrepancy between the person’s body language and the words that person has spoken. Lecturers call this audience sense. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and their arms folded, the receptive person will have a feeling that his message will not be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out a man’s secret in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies only on non-verbal channels of communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Innate, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Conditioned Signals.

Although much research has been done, there is heated debate about whether nonverbal cues are innate or learned, whether they are genetically transmitted or acquired in some other way. Evidence was obtained through observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made of the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives - monkeys and macaques - was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures can be classified. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, suggesting that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Eibl - Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth is manifested without any learning or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five widely different cultures. They found that different cultures used similar facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, leading them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left arm over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case they will feel comfortable, in another case they will not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are learned and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting with the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat with the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes, turning away from him. Does she do this instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously by watching other women?

Most nonverbal behavior is learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Let's look at these aspects of body language.

Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins

All over the world, basic communication gestures are the same. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they have an angry look.

Few people know that communication between people consists not only of verbal contact, communication and verbal transmission of information, there is also body language and gestures. This is a non-verbal technique that involves giving signals and signs through movements, facial expressions, glances, as well as manipulation of different parts of the body, that is, gestures. Experts using such data can recognize lies, aggression and many other emotions.

Particular attention should be paid to non-verbal signs, as this will allow you to read between the lines, see truth and lies, and much more. Such skills will be useful to a person not only in personal relationships, but also at work, negotiations, in a team of employees, and at interviews. Therefore, it is worth considering each type of gesture and non-verbal presentation of information, gleaning the necessary information.

Many years ago, scientists and famous scientific figures wrote in their works that by the movements of a person’s body one can understand the mood, as well as the semantic message of information, but the issue of body languages ​​and gestures began to be studied much later. The first figure in this field was the American scientist and psychologist Paul Ekman, who in 1954 studied the language of facial expressions and gestures in people.

Open Gestures

If a person wants to know how sincere and open his opponent is in communication, psychology identifies special gestures of openness.

Namely:

• during a conversation, the opponent gestures and holds his hands with his palms up (if you look at children, when they have done something wrong, they tend to put their hands behind their backs or lower their palms down);
• during an open and honest conversation, the interlocutor will be close to the opponent, gradually reducing the distance between him and himself;
• during business negotiations, a good sign would be for opponents to unbutton their jacket buttons;
• Straightened legs indicate an honest and sincere conversation.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

Today, in many developed countries, knowledge of body and body language is a must for every recruiting manager. In this regard, the topic has become increasingly in demand in other countries, and the benefits of knowing a non-verbal language have been officially proven.

Closed gestures

Separately, psychology examines non-verbal closed gestures, which manifest themselves in the form of protection from the interlocutor due to hostility, negative attitude and hypocrisy. Closed gestures include the following manifestations:

• crossing your arms in the chest area, which demonstrates self-doubt and hostility towards your interlocutor;
• the interlocutor sits with his legs crossed, but not because of convenience and comfort, but because he is fencing himself off from an unpleasant opponent;
• “incomplete barrier”, when a person bends one arm at the elbow and presses it to the body, and straightens the other and places it on his knee, showing caution and mistrust in a non-verbal way.

Psychologists note that body language shapes your personality, so it is extremely important to monitor your body during negotiations or interviews, avoiding closed gestures. An experienced person will immediately recognize a negative attitude, self-doubt, anxiety or hostility towards himself, even if the person verbally behaves impeccably.

Erotic gestures

You can also understand the body language of a man or woman in love by non-verbal manifestations of the body and gestures. Psychologists say that women are more likely to have pronounced erotic gestures, but men are characterized by restraint and control over emotions. A woman’s body language suggests the following manifestations:

• display of the wrist, for example, while smoking, when a woman turns her hand outward, showing the inside of the wrist;
• touching hair, twirling curls or stroking them, throwing hair back;
• licking lips and slightly open mouth during conversation and even silence;
• taking off your shoes and swinging your leg, which attracts the attention of the opposite sex;
• direct eye-to-eye gaze, smile, during eye contact the eyes first go down and then move to the side;
• stroking hands on knees, thighs, calves;
• crossing the ankles of the legs.

Such verbal methods of flirting and making advances, of course, are inherent in the female sex, since by their nature and temperament they are prone to playful communication and luring a partner. Men, in this regard, act directly and without hints, so a guy in love can be recognized by his actions.

False gestures

The most popular question is how to recognize a lie by non-verbal signs, since in modern society every second person does not shy away from lying for his own benefit. Psychologists say that most liars give themselves away with several gestures during this behavior, for example:

• hands involuntarily reach to the face, a person can cover his mouth, touch his lips, chin; while listening, the interlocutor covers his mouth due to mistrust;
• a pronounced gesture of lying - touching the nose;
• hiding the truth is manifested by scratching the upper eyelid;
• if a person does not agree with the opinion of his opponent, but is afraid to say it directly, he can scratch his neck;
• touching the earlobes indicates that the listener does not believe his interlocutor.

The most common and well-known sign of lying is turning the eyes to the side, fear of direct eye contact. In fact, scientists have proven that this is a false judgment; averting the eyes is a natural phenomenon; during memories, a person will avert his eyes to the left or up, and during fantasies and inventions - up or to the right.

Aggressive gestures

You can visually assess the mood of your interlocutor by his gestures and facial expressions, so psychologists separately consider gestures of aggression and hostility. For example:

• clenching hands into fists;
• throwing your arms to the side speaks of determination and a mood for action;
• sitting on a chair in a “riding” position is an indicator of a negative attitude towards the opponent;
• folding your hands behind your back.

Hiding signs and gestures of aggression and expressed hostility towards a certain person is actually very difficult, since these are strong emotions, the control of which requires long and hard training.

Nervous gestures

If a person feels insecure and irritable in communication, it will be extremely difficult to hide such a state. Most likely, nervousness will be manifested by the following gestures:

• teenagers start biting their nails;
• an adult can chew on a pen or pencil, bang them on the table, or drum their fingers;
• a shifting gaze is a consequence of anxiety;
• Frequent changes in body position and fussiness indicate irritability and nervousness.

Do you have a habit of chewing on your pen?

YesNo

In this state, breathing quickens, the gaze cannot focus on one thing, and it will be quite difficult for a person to control his body.

Bored gestures

Some specific gestures will tell you how to understand body language in order to find out how interested your interlocutor is in the conversation. For example:

• during communication, the interlocutor puts his head in the palms of his hands;
• a boring conversation may be accompanied by tapping of feet on the floor;
• engaging in another activity, for example, drawing on a piece of paper, twirling a pen or other object in your hand, looking at your phone or watch, looking at your hands, and many others.

Thus, we can conclude that an uninteresting conversation will be accompanied by a lack of stable eye contact between opponents and extraneous actions.

Confidential gestures

It is extremely important for some people to recognize by gestures how much a particular person trusts them. Psychologists name several reliable gestures that indicate complete trust and emancipation of the interlocutor, namely:

• while listening to a speech, the interlocutor will periodically nod his head;
• manifestation of the “dome” gesture, that is, the elbows of the hands will be on the table, and the hands will be joined in the fingers, forming as if a dome (often this gesture shows a person’s complacency and selfishness);
• complete trust on the part of the interlocutor is his open palms.

Appreciative gestures

By some actions you can be sure that the interlocutor is not just observing the speaker, but also evaluating him. For example:

• while listening, a person rests his head on the palm of his hand, putting his index finger up;
• during a conversation, the listener takes off his glasses and touches his lips with the bow;
• Scratching the chin indicates that a person is thinking about the topic of conversation.

Also, while thinking through the topic of conversation and assessing it, a person can pace from side to side, as if trying to make one decision for himself. Also, while assessing a conversation, he can pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closing his eyes.

Difference between male and female gestures

Many famous psychologists have studied the body language of men and women, making comparative characteristics. In the case of a woman, body language is a pronounced manifestation of emotion and passion, while men are by nature restrained and balanced, which means their gestures will be hidden and less recognizable. And only a very observant person will be able to read them.

A man, if he likes a girl, will demonstrate the following gestures:

• straightening clothes or hairstyle, as well as brushing off specks or dust, even if there is none;
• straightening the shoulders, retracting the abdomen, expressive and bright gaze;
• putting a finger in the belt of trousers, holding hands in pockets with the thumb facing out;
• a long and studying look at the woman.

In turn, a woman’s body language differs from the gestures of a guy in love in the following ways:

• shaking hair, straightening hairstyle;
• gait with swaying hips;
• short glances from under the eyelashes;
• touching your hips, waist;
• demonstration of the wrist area;
• stroking a pencil, the stem of a glass or other elongated object with your fingers;
• parted lips, languid, breathy voice;
• laying legs on legs.

Women are more open in non-verbal expressions of their sympathy, but due to embarrassment and self-doubt, sometimes gestures of sympathy can be somewhat different - fast speech with a trembling voice, loud and abrupt laughter or awkward movements.

For reference! Men's body language aims to demonstrate their strength and self-confidence, while women show weakness and insecurity with their body and gestures.

How to recognize the simplest gestures?

The defining indicators in the study of body language are the hands and their movements, body position or posture, as well as facial expressions. It has been proven that under the influence of certain feelings and emotions, relaxation of various facial structures and their coordinated contractions occur. You can also read a lot from the look and eyes; all that remains is to understand the simplest and overt manifestations of emotions and feelings.

Poses

Body position is a clear indicator of what a person may be hiding from his opponent or not telling. For example:

• aggression - standing or sitting, arms akimbo or body forward, thumbs hidden in pockets or belt;
• self-confidence and self-righteousness - head held high, chin forward, sitting at the table, fingers connected only at the tips, but spread apart in the palms;
• desire to change the topic and negative attitude - standing with support on any object;
• fear and anxiety - fidgeting in a chair, frequent changes of body position.

The remaining body position gestures were described earlier in the classification according to a person’s mood. Psychologists note that a frequently repeated pose indicates that a person has stable personality traits.

Facial expressions

Well-known psychologists regularly publish books in which they consider the latest observations of scientists regarding non-verbal human gestures. Particular attention is paid to facial expressions, by which all existing emotions and feelings can be recognized, despite the context of the conversation, for example:

• interest- eyelids are widened or narrow, and eyebrows are raised or lowered;
• joy- curvature of the lips, pulling their corners back;
• happiness- calm eyes, looking back and raised corners of the lips;
• disgust- wrinkled nose, drooping eyebrows, protrusion of the lower lip, slanted eyes;
• fear- raised straight eyebrows, widened eyes, open mouth with tense corners and straight lips above the teeth;
• contempt- raised eyebrows and an elongated face shape, a top-down look;
• shame- lowered head, averted face, averted gaze, closed eyelids and shifting gaze, rapid breathing;
• anger- frowning of the face, widening of the nostrils, compressed or drawn-out lips, redness of the face;
• sorrow- dull eyes and knitted eyebrows, drooping corners of the lips.

Facial expressions are a clear indicator of a person's emotions if he has not learned the skill of facial control. In modern society, there are even trainings and courses on how to manage your facial expressions so as not to reveal all your cards in important conversations and contacts with people.

Movements

Movements are gestures that are the result of experiences and mental anxieties. From them you can read what a person experiences inside himself at a given moment in time or his characteristic features. The most typical patterns of human behavior in terms of gestures are as follows:

• active gestures- this is an indicator of a person’s positive mood, interest and friendliness;
• excessive gesticulation- an indicator of self-doubt, nervousness and anxiety.

More detailed gestures and their designations have been described previously, for example, touching the hair during flirting, clenching fists due to anger, covering the mouth with one's hand during distrust or lying, showing open palms when treating an opponent openly, biting nails due to anxiety, collecting lint and dust on clothes as a sign of disapproval, tilting the head to one side due to interest, and much more.

Here is an example of gestures of a guy in love

To understand how to recognize facial expressions, gestures and other non-verbal signs in a person in practice, it is enough to look at a clear example. The body language of a man in love will help any woman accurately determine his true feelings and emotions in relation to her. There are several points to pay attention to:

• appearance- a man in love is neatly dressed, clean-shaven, smells pleasant;
• sight- a close and appraising look into a woman’s eyes and lips;
• hands- involuntary manipulations, for example, brushing away specks of dust or straightening your hair;
• voice- a timid, insinuating voice, without harshness or changes in intonation.

A man who likes a woman will demonstrate his strength and masculinity in every possible way. In addition, he will be interested in all areas of the life of his object of desire, and show care and responsibility.

Conclusion

Body language is a non-verbal method of communication that not all people have. It includes gestures, body movements, postures, facial expressions and even intonation in the voice. Many well-known psychologists have devoted books to this broad topic, for example Alan Pease and James Borg, describing common, as well as male and female characteristic nonverbal expressions.

As we have already said, gestures, like words in a sentence, are interconnected. Body language signals should always be interpreted in context, taking all circumstances into account. "Spire" is an exception to the rule, as it most often appears in isolation. During this gesture, a person connects his fingertips in a kind of cathedral spire and sometimes swings his hands back and forth.

We have noticed that “spiel” often arises in communication between a boss and his subordinates.

This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. “Spiel” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and senior managers. This gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

Sometimes the “spire” develops into a prayerful gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. Often this gesture is perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency.

President Chirac and Gerry Adams sometimes like to portray the Lord God himself

But if you want to look confident and show that you know all the answers, such a gesture will help you do it.

Using the "spire" to win at chess

Imagine this scene: you are playing chess and you have to make a move. You raise your hand over the chessboard and touch a piece with your finger, indicating that you are going to go with it. And at this moment you notice that your opponent leaned back in his chair and put his fingers in a “spire”. Thus, he non-verbally lets you know that he is completely confident in your next move and is not at all afraid of it. So you have a direct reason to change your intention. You touch another piece and continue to observe the opponent. If he clasps his fingers or crosses his arms in one way or another, it means he doesn't like your possible move, and that's what you should do.

Lowered spire

The “spire” has two options: raised and lowered. A raised “spire” usually appears when a person expresses his point of view or expresses his own ideas. A lowered “spire” is characteristic of those who listen carefully to their interlocutor.

Women more often choose the second option of this gesture. If the raised spire is accompanied by a tilt of the head back, you are dealing with a smug, arrogant person.

Although a spike is generally a positive signal, its meaning may vary in different situations.

If the “sheep” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you are telling your interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the “spiel” is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking to the side and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is confident that he can refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other - negative. The result is influenced by gestures around the “spire”.

Showing your face

This is an extremely positive signal that occurs during the courtship process. Most often it is used by women and passive homosexuals who want to attract male attention. The woman folds her hands on top of each other and rests her chin on them. It's as if she puts her face in a window so that men can admire it.

Showing your face. This woman puts her best face forward so men can admire her.

If you want to flatter a woman by noticing such a gesture, you can safely do so.

Hands folded behind back

The Duke of Edinburgh and other men of the British royal family often walk with their heads up, chin jutted out, and hands clasped behind their backs, palm to palm. This gesture is typical of state leaders, patrol officers, school principals walking along the playground, senior officers and senior executives.

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. In our experience, adopting a pose like this in a stressful situation, such as an interview or in a dentist's waiting room, will immediately make you feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front view

In our work with police officers, we have seen that unarmed officers routinely adopt this position, rocking slightly on their toes to visually increase their height. Armed police officers rarely adopt this position, preferring to keep their hands down or with their fingers tucked into their belts and thumbs up.

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person clasps one hand around the wrist of the other, as shown in the picture: (there are 2 pictures here, which are a little lower).

This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly clasps the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the grip, the more dissatisfied or irritated your interlocutor is. The man in the picture below right is struggling to hold himself together. His mood is much more negative than that of the one depicted in the same picture on the left

Grasping the wrist behind the back Grabbing the arm above the elbow

The hand of the person on the right clasped the other arm above the elbow, not at the wrist. This gesture can be considered a clear illustration of the expression “control yourself.”

Wrapping your arm behind your back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents come face to face. This is how patients stand waiting for a doctor. This gesture reveals an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this position is typical for you, try to change it to a “palm on palm” gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Demonstration of thumbs

As already mentioned, showing thumbs is a sign of superiority. Thumbs indicate the strength of character and ego of a person. Body language cues associated with the thumbs also convey a sense of self-worth. Thumbs are used to emphasize dominance, confidence, and sometimes aggressiveness.

Thumb gestures are secondary and, as a rule, part of a chain. Showing thumbs is a positive signal and is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize his own superiority. Men often use such gestures in the presence of attractive women. This pose is typical for people who occupy a high position and are well dressed. You are unlikely to see a homeless person in such a position.

In this position, people often rock on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs of hands placed in pockets

This gesture is characteristic of both men and women who are confident in their high position and superiority over others. This is one of Prince Charles' favorite gestures, revealing his mood. In a work environment, a similar gesture is typical of a boss walking around the room where his subordinates work. When the boss is absent, his deputy can take this position. But not a single subordinate would ever put his hands in his pockets with his thumbs out in the presence of his boss.

Pay attention to the position of the other person's thumbs, as they may indicate a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, when addressing a jury, says in a soft, quiet voice, “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen...”, but at the same time gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose.”

The jury will immediately sense the lawyer's insincerity and arrogance. If he really wanted to appear modest, he should have approached the jury with his jacket unbuttoned, his palms open, and his body leaned forward to appear shorter.

People often stick their thumbs out of their back pockets as if trying to hide their dominant attitude. Until the 60s, such a gesture was unusual for women, but then they began to wear trousers and began to play a more important role in society, so today such a gesture is not uncommon among women.

Another very common chain of gestures is crossing your arms on your chest while simultaneously showing your thumbs. This signal has a dual meaning. It simultaneously shows a defensive or negative attitude (crossed arms) and superiority over the other person (thumbs out). Usually this pose appears during a conversation. If a person is standing at the same time, then he can swing on his toes.

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or ridicule, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with friends may point his thumb at his wife and say: “She’s always nagging me, asking for a fight.” Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only towards people they actively dislike.

Showing thumbs shows confidence and authority

“She’s always nagging me!”

Resume

Your hands are always in sight, revealing your emotional state and attitude to what is happening. It is quite difficult to immediately grasp many body language signals, but hand gestures can be practiced until they become automatic. This will help you control yourself and make the right impression on others. By learning to correctly interpret hand gestures, you will look more confident and will be able to win more than one chess game.

For thousands of years, thumbs have symbolized power and authority. In ancient Rome, the thumb decided the fate of the gladiator. Raised, it gave a person life, lowered, doomed him to death. Even an inexperienced person intuitively feels the meaning of thumb signals and understands their meaning. Now you can not only correctly decipher such gestures, but also use them to your own advantage.

It often happens that when we start communicating with strangers, we feel sympathy and trust for some of them from the first seconds of our communication, for others we experience obvious negativity, and still others remain a mystery to us for some time. The fact is that the transfer of information occurs not only through words, that is, at the verbal level, but also through non-verbal means of communication, which include facial expressions, postures and gestures.

Our gestures are accurate indicators of a person’s internal state, thoughts, emotions and true desires, therefore, in the case when we hear one thing in words, but in the face and body of the interlocutor we see a discrepancy with what was said, doubts and distrust of the speaker arise in us. And this happens on a subconscious level. For some reason, we simply don’t like this person, and only after a while we find confirmation of this, we are convinced of the correctness of our first impression of him, exclaiming: “That’s how I felt!”

The fact is that words are easier to control, but gestures, gaze and body postures are the most difficult to control by will. Therefore, our “second language” is often more truthful and effective. This is what we observe when they try to deceive or confuse us, body language says something completely different than words, but in someone who we immediately liked, both words and gestures said the same thing, coincided and did not contradict each other.

According to their physical nature, gestures can be divided into two large groups: head and manual (hand). Manual gestures are performed with one or both hands; they are divided into subgroups: finger, hand, elbow, shoulder and mixed.

The hand plays a special role in the gesture. R. Slavsky in the book “The Art of Pantomime” wrote: “The hand is the soul of the gesture. The brush calls, beckons, invites, repels, gives, takes, reproaches, tells, caresses, punishes, asks, sees off; in the hand, as well as in the whole arm, it is necessary to develop liveliness and plastic softness.”

Rubbing palms

psychodiagnostics gesture nonverbal profiling

By rubbing your palms together people communicate their positive expectations nonverbally. The person throwing the die rubs it between their palms as a signal that they expect to win.

The master of ceremonies or compere rubs his hands together before saying, “We look forward to our next performer's performance,” but if a waiter comes to your table at the end of the evening and, rubbing his hands, asks, “What else would you like, sir?” then the nonverbal message will be that he is hinting at a tip.

The speed with which this gesture is performed signals the person who expects to obtain positive results in this situation. For example, you want to buy a house and contact a real estate agent. After you describe to him the house you want to buy, he quickly rubs his hands together and says, “I have just the house for you!” Thus, the agent signaled to you that the deal will be profitable for you. How will you feel if he slowly rubs his palms together, saying that he has the perfect place for you? He will seem cunning or dishonest to you, and you will get the feeling that the upcoming deal will be more profitable for him than for you. Sales agents are taught that if they use this gesture while describing their products or services to potential buyers, they should do so quickly so as not to scare off the buyer.

When a buyer comes to the sellers with this gesture and says: “Come on, let’s see what you have!”, this will mean that the buyer assumes that they will present him with something good and that he will certainly make a purchase.

One warning : If you see a person rubbing his hands at a bus stop in winter, this does not necessarily mean that he is doing it out of impatience while waiting for the bus. His hands were just frozen!

Rubbing your thumb on your index finger

Rubbing the thumb against the index finger or against the tips of other fingers is usually used to signify money and to await the receipt of money as payment. Sales agents often use this gesture when communicating with their clients. Or in a conversation between friends, this gesture can be used by the person borrowing money. But this gesture should be avoided by service personnel when working with clients.

Interlocked fingers

At first glance, this may seem like a trusting gesture, because when people use it, they smile and feel happy. This gesture denotes disappointment and a person's desire to hide his negative attitude. This gesture has three options: crossed fingers raised at face level, hands lying on the table, on the knees when sitting, or below in front of you in a standing position.

Spiral hand position

This gesture has two options :

• - hands with spire up
• - hands with the spire down

The first position is usually adopted when the speaker expresses his opinion or sets out his ideas.

The second position is used when a person does not speak, but listens .

Women are more likely to use the pin down position than the pin up position. When the speaker's head is thrown back when the hands are positioned with the spire up, he develops a touch of self-satisfaction and arrogance. Although generally regarded as a positive signal, the spiking gesture can be used under both positive and negative circumstances and can therefore be misinterpreted. For example, a sales agent offering his product to a potential buyer may notice a number of positive gestures from the buyer during negotiations. This could be bare palms, a forward bend, a raised head, etc.

Let's say that towards the end of the negotiations the client makes a steeple-like gesture. If this gesture, in response to the agent's invitation to give his decision, is followed by a series of positive gestures, the agent will receive a signal that he can complete the negotiations, ask for an order and be confident that it will follow. On the other hand, if the spiel-like gesture (especially if it was made at the end of the product presentation) is followed by a series of negative gestures, such as crossing the arms, crossing the chest, crossing one's legs, shifting gaze and numerous gestures associated with the manipulation of hands in front of the face , then this indicates that the buyer has made a firm decision not to buy this product and wants to get rid of the selling agent.

Putting your hands behind your back

It has been observed that many male members of the British Royal Family have the habit of walking with their heads held high, their chin jutted out, and their hands clasped behind their backs. In everyday life, this gesture is used by a police officer on duty, a local school principal passing through a school yard, senior military officials and people in responsible positions. Therefore, it is considered a gesture of a confident person with a sense of superiority over others. It allows a person to open his vulnerable areas of the body, such as the stomach, heart, throat, with unconscious fearlessness.

The "hands behind your back" gesture is different from the "hands behind your back with wrist lock" gesture, which indicates that the person is upset and trying to pull himself together. In this case, one hand grabs the wrist so tightly as if it is trying to keep it from throwing a punch. Interestingly, the more angry a person is, the higher his hand moves on his back. This is where the expression “Pull yourself together!” came from.

Thumb accentuation

In the teaching of hand divination, the thumbs signify the strength of character and ego of the individual, and non-verbal reading using the thumbs confirms this. Sticking your thumbs out indicates a person’s power, superiority, and even aggressiveness.

However, this gesture must be considered in conjunction with other gestures. Open thumbs are a positive signal . Often the gesture is present in the pose of a stern boss in company with his subordinates. A man courting a woman uses this gesture in her presence, and it is most typical for people dressed in formal and prestigious clothes.

People wearing new, attractive clothes use this gesture more often , than people dressed in outdated, outdated clothes.

Thumbs, denoting superiority, become an even more eloquent gesture if a person says words completely opposite to the gesture. Thumbs often peek out of people's pockets , sometimes even from the back pockets of trousers to hide the dominance of a person in a given situation. Women also resort to this gesture. In addition, lovers of this gesture often stand on their tiptoes to become taller.

Another popular gesture is crossing your arms over your chest with your thumbs pointed vertically. This gesture conveys a double signal - one of a negative or defensive attitude (crossed arms) plus a feeling of superiority (expressed with the thumbs). The person using this gesture usually plays with one or both fingers, and the standing position is characterized by rocking on his heels. This gesture is not typical for women, although sometimes they also use it in relation to people they do not like.

Deception, lies, doubt

How can you tell if a person is lying? These are gestures associated with touching your hands to your face. . When we observe or hear others telling lies, or lying ourselves, we attempt to cover our mouth, eyes, or ears with our hands. . If a young child is lying, he will cover his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stop the lying words coming out of his mouth. If he does not want to listen to his parents' lectures, he simply plugs his ears with his fingers or covers his ears with his hands . If he sees something he doesn't want to look at, he covers his eyes with his hands . As a person matures, his gestures, using his hands near his face, become more subtle and less noticeable, but they still occur , If this gesture is used by a person at the time of speech, this indicates that he is telling a lie. However, if he covers his mouth when you speak , and he listens, this means that he feels like you are lying! One of the most depressing images for a speaker is the sight of an audience where everyone has their hands to their mouths while speaking. . In a small audience or when communicating face-to-face, it is wise to pause your message and ask the audience, “Would anyone like to comment on what I said?” This will allow the audience to voice their objections, and will give you the opportunity to clarify your statements and answer questions.

Mouth protection with hand

Protecting your mouth with your hand is one of the few gestures of an adult and has the same meaning as a child's gesture.

The hand covers the mouth and the thumb is pressed to the cheek, while the brain at the subconscious level sends signals to restrain the words spoken. Sometimes it may only be a few fingers near the mouth or even a fist, but the meaning of the gesture remains the same. Some people try to fake cough to disguise the gesture. .

Touching your nose

Basically a touch on the nose is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. It can be expressed in a few light touches to the dimple under the nose , or be expressed with one quick, almost imperceptible touch. Some women perform this gesture very carefully so as not to smear their lipstick and damage their makeup.

One explanation for the nature of this gesture is that when bad thoughts enter the conscious mind, the subconscious mind tells the hand to cover the mouth, but at the very last moment, out of a desire to disguise this gesture, the hand is withdrawn from the mouth and a light touch to the nose is obtained. .

Another explanation could be that when lying, tickling sensations appear on the nerve endings of the nose, and one really wants to scratch the nose to get rid of them. “What if a person just has an itchy nose a lot?” If the nose itches, the person will intentionally scratch or scratch it, which is different from lightly touching the nose with the hand in a situation of deception. Like touching your mouth, touching your nose can be used both by the speaker to disguise his own deception, and by the listener who doubts the sincerity of the speaker's words.

Rubbing the eyelid

This gesture is caused by the brain's desire to escape from the deception, suspicion, or lie it encounters, or the desire to avoid looking into the eyes of the person to whom it is telling a lie. Men usually rub their eyelids in a very vigorous manner, and if the lie is very serious, they look away to the side, usually at the floor. Women perform this movement very delicately , running your finger under your eye.

This can be caused by two reasons:

• - due to their upbringing, they are not familiar with rude gestures;
• - careful movements are explained by the presence of makeup on the eyelids. Averting their eyes to the side, they look at the ceiling. There is a well-known expression: “Lying through your teeth” . This expression refers to a complex of gestures consisting of clenched teeth and a tight smile, rubbing the eyelid with a finger and looking away to the side. Film actors use this complex gesture to portray the insincerity of their characters, but in everyday life this gesture is rare.

Scratching and rubbing the ear

In fact, this gesture is caused by the desire of the listener to isolate himself from the words by placing his hand near or on top of his ear. This gesture is an adult improved modification of the gesture of a small child when he covers his ears so as not to listen to the reproaches of his parents. Other options for touching the ear include rubbing the pinna, drilling into the ear (with a fingertip), tugging on the earlobe, or bending the ear in an attempt to cover the ear hole. This last gesture suggests that the person has heard enough and perhaps wants to speak out.

Neck scratching

In this case, the person scratches the area under the earlobe or the side of the neck with the index finger of his right hand. Our observations of this gesture revealed an interesting point: a person usually makes five scratching movements . Very rarely the number of scratches will be less than five or more than five. This gesture speaks of a person’s doubt and uncertainty. , who says, “I’m not sure I agree with you.” It is especially noticeable when it contradicts verbal language, for example, if a person says something like: “I understand exactly what you are experiencing.”

Pulling the collar

In a study of people's gestures that accompany their lies, Desmond Morris observed that lying produced an itching sensation in the delicate muscle tissues of the face and neck, requiring scratching to soothe the sensation. This seems to be an acceptable explanation for why some people pull back their collar when they are lying and suspect that their deception has been discovered. The cheater also appears to have beads of sweat on his neck when he senses that you suspect he's cheating.

This gesture is also used when a person is angry or upset, pulling the collar away from the neck to cool it with fresh air. When you see a person make this gesture, you can ask him, “Could you do that again?” or “Could you clarify this point?” And this will make the deceiver refuse to continue his cunning game.

Fingers in mouth

Human puts fingers in the mouth able strong oppression . This is a person's unconscious attempt to return to that safe, cloudless time in infancy when the child suckled at his mother's breast. A small child sucks his finger, and as for an adult, in addition to his finger, he puts objects such as cigarettes, pipes, pens and the like into his mouth. If gestures associated with covering the mouth with one's hand indicate deception, fingers in the mouth indicate an internal need for approval and support. Therefore, when this gesture appears, it is necessary to support the person or reassure him with guarantees.

Supporting your cheek and chin with your palm

A good lecturer is one who instinctively senses when his audience is interested in what he is saying and when they have lost interest. .

Boredom

When the listener begins to put his hand in order to rest his head on it , this is a sure sign that he is bored, and he props his head on his hand in order not to fall asleep. The degree of boredom correlates with the severity of using the hand as a support. Extreme boredom and lack of interest are visible when the head rests entirely on the hand, and the absolute signal of boredom would be if a person lies with his head on the table and snores!

Evaluative Relationships

A person assumes an assessment pose if he rests his cheek with his fingers clenched into a fist, and his index finger rests on his temple.

If a person is losing interest but wants to appear interested out of politeness, his posture will change slightly so that his head is resting on the base of his palm . When the index finger is pointed vertically towards the temple and the thumb supports the chin , this indicates that the listener has a negative or critical view of the speaker or the subject of his message. Often the index finger may rub or tug at the eyelid as negative thoughts thicken. The longer a person maintains these gestures, the longer his critical attitude will remain. . This gesture is a signal that the speaker urgently needs to do something, or try to captivate the listener with the content of his message, or wrap up his speech. A simple way is to give him something to support and thereby change his posture. The gesture of critical evaluation is often confused with a signal of interest, but with a critical attitude, propping the chin with the thumb will definitely be present.

Stroking the chin

The next time you have the opportunity to present an idea to a group of people, watch carefully their reaction as you do it, and you will learn something fascinating. Most, if not all, members of your group will raise one hand to their face and begin making appreciative gestures . When you come to the end of your presentation and ask group members for their opinions or suggestions regarding your idea, the evaluative gestures will disappear. Your listeners will have one hand move to their chin and begin stroking their chin .

This "stroking the chin" gesture means that the person is trying to make a decision. The following signals will tell you whether their decision will be positive or negative. If, for example, after this gesture he crosses his arms over his chest and crosses his legs, then leans back in his chair, then he has received a nonverbal negative response.

Rubbing the back of the head and slapping the forehead

If a person makes this gesture while telling a lie, he averts his eyes and looks at the floor. This gesture is also a sign of frustration or anger , but in this case the hand first pats the neck and then begins to rub it. Let's assume that you asked your subordinate to carry out your assignment, and that he forgot to do it by the required time. When you ask him about the results of completing an assignment, he will non-verbally respond that he forgot to do it, slapping himself on the forehead or neck, as if figuratively beating him, punishing himself for forgetfulness.

Although a slap on the head usually signifies forgetfulness, the gesture also expresses how a person feels about you or the situation, depending on whether the slap lands on the forehead or the neck. If he slaps himself on the forehead , he signals that he is not frightened by the fact that he showed his forgetfulness in front of you. But when he slaps himself on the neck, he is non-verbally telling you that he is terribly upset that you pointed out this mistake to him. People who have a habit of rubbing the back of their neck tend to exhibit negative or critical attitudes towards others, while those who habitually slap their forehead when non-verbally admitting a mistake tend to be more open-minded, easy-going people.

Arms crossed on chest

They express an attempt to hide from an unfavorable situation. The position of the hands during this gesture can be very diverse; in this book we will discuss the three most characteristic positions.

The typical, standard crossing of the arms is a universal gesture, almost everywhere indicating a defensive or negative state of the person making this gesture. It can always be seen when observing a person in a crowd of strangers at social gatherings, in line, in cafeterias, in elevators and other places where people feel insecure and unsafe.

Crossing arms, reinforced by clenching the fingers into a fist

If, in addition to crossing his arms on his chest, a person also clenches his fingers into a fist, this indicates his hostile and offensive position. This is often accompanied by clenched teeth and a flushed face, and may result in verbal or physical attack. A calming gesture using open palms is needed to discover the reason that led to such hostile gestures. A person using a series of these gestures is in an attacking position, as opposed to a person taking a defensive, defensive position by crossing his arms over his chest.

Hands crossed on the shoulder part of the arm.

The hands dig into the shoulder of the opposite hand to secure the position of the hands, to exclude any attempt to unclench the hands and expose the chest to the blow. The hands can bite into the shoulder so tightly that the fingers and phalanges of the fingers turn white because blood does not flow to them.

This gesture can often be seen in the doctor's or dentist's waiting room, or in the airplane cabin before takeoff for people taking an airplane for the first time. It means holding back negative feelings.

Incomplete barrier formed by hands

If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete crossing, in which one arm is placed across the body, attached to the other arm. This creates a barrier. A person often uses a hand barrier when in the company of strangers, or when lacking self-confidence.

Another common option for an incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands . This gesture is usually used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows a person to restore the sense of emotional security that he experienced as a child, when his parents held his hand in dangerous circumstances.

It is believed that words can convey any information. However, gestures say much more than simple ones. A person’s posture and his unconscious actions reveal emotions and attitude towards the interlocutor and what is happening. The problem of understanding gestures has always worried people. If you understand the meaning of non-verbal signs, you can easily distinguish truth from lies and understand what people are hiding. How to learn to “read” people in a few minutes? How ?

What is the psychology of body gestures?

The psychology of body language and gestures is related to the psychology of nonverbal communication, which studies human behavior and also interprets his facial expressions, gestures, and posture. There is also physiognomy, a pseudoscience that determines character traits and predicts a person’s future.

Human facial expressions are “universal” in all countries of the world, that is, you do not need to have special knowledge to understand a person’s emotions. Everyone equally shows joy, surprise, anger. A person understands these gestures from birth. But there are those signs that are very rarely paid attention to. This could be body position, gaze, specific movements. Especially if a person is nervous, he loses control of his body. It is important to interpret gestures correctly. For example: if a person is cold, he may cross his arms over his chest. This pose in this case does not indicate a person’s isolation or uncertainty.

Important: gestures are not always a set of instructions or patterns that can be used to tell exactly what a person is feeling or hiding.

Body language and gestures are difficult to fake. To learn it, you just need to be attentive. By remembering the basic meanings of body language, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor, even what he is trying to masterfully hide.

A lot of books have been written that talk about typical and atypical positions of the head, arms, legs, and facial expressions. Here are some examples.

The head and its position when speaking

A person who holds his head up is confident, communicative and open.

A theatrically raised head speaks of self-confidence, arrogance and narcissism.

If you throw your head back when talking, this indicates a readiness to act and make decisions.

The head lolls to the side. Such a person gives up, is ready to obey, refuses a leading role.

Bowing your head down means weakness, cowardice.

Facial expressions

An open look speaks of the sincerity of the interlocutor, of his lively character.

Closed eyes are a sign of indifference, passivity to what is happening. This look can also indicate that a person is very tired, so you should clarify this point so as not to accidentally accuse your interlocutor of indifference.

Squinted eyes are deceit, cunning, evil plans. You need to take a closer look at such a person; he may be planning something negative in relation to other participants in the conversation.

An eye-to-eye look shows that a person is committed to dialogue, interest and trust.

Distrust and skepticism are shown by the gaze when the pupils are directed towards the bridge of the nose.

Those who are aggressive and are trying to put their intentions into action look from under their brows.

If a person seems to bow and look down, this speaks of helpfulness and humility.

If the interlocutor does not look into the eyes of other participants in the conversation, it is obvious that he is hiding something and is not confident in himself. This sign may also indicate a feeling of guilt.

If a person smiles and the corners of his eyes are squinted, then this is real joy and happiness. You should not mistake such an emotion for a forced smile of politeness. When the corners of the lips turn down, it is sadness and pessimism.

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Hands

The position of your hands when speaking can tell a lot about a person. Usually a person gestures, trying to reinforce his words.

When persuading, does the interlocutor hold his hands with his palms up? This means that he is attuned to the other participants in the conversation, trying to explain something without any malicious intent.

If the arms are at the seams, that is, they are closely adjacent to the body, they express lack of will and passivity.

Are the person's hands behind his back? This speaks of doubt, mistrust, unwillingness to make decisions, or cunning intent, a desire to strike.

If your hands are in your pockets, this also indicates that the person is trying to hide something and is unsure of himself.

Hands folded in a “house” speak of self-confidence and in one’s actions, readiness to act.

The fist is a sign of self-affirmation and concentration. It may also indicate aggression.

Rubbing hands is a symbol of satisfaction and accomplishment.

Important: Teaching body language and gestures is nothing more than being mindful.

Open and closed human postures

An open posture indicates a person’s interest and desire to cooperate. In this position of the body, the hands are not near the neck or stomach, the gaze is directed at the interlocutor and the body is turned towards him. However, it is instinctively difficult for a person to always remain open. Since ancient times, he has been preparing for a possible attack, so he defends himself. A closed pose is one of the defense options. What body positions can be called closed?

1. Crossed legs.
2. Folded arms on the chest.

A closed posture does not encourage communication, so you need to pick up some object in order to open up to the world around you. This is especially true for people preparing to present a speech or monologue. You don't want to listen to uptight people.

How to recognize body language?

Body language can show a person's basic needs and emotions:

• . A few years ago, a series that taught people how to recognize lies using gestures was especially popular. A liar can be recognized by the following signs:
  • unconscious touching of lips, nose, chin when talking;
  • scratching the eyelids;
  • direct look. When a person remembers some actions that happened in the past, he looks away unconsciously. The deceiver has thought through his answers in advance, so he does not need to remember anything or come up with anything chaotically.
• Flirting. Women are constantly trying to show their interest through gestures. This is why they say that you cannot hide your sympathy or love for a person of the opposite sex:
  • the girl shows her wrist - a sign of seduction;
  • straightening her hair, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, or effectively throwing her hair back - this is how a woman strives to impress the man she likes;
  • slightly open mouth or licking lips. You should not confuse overt lip licking with the purpose of flirting from the same gesture, which means nervousness and excitement;
  • the flirtatious “accidental” loss of a shoe and the swinging of a naked leg;
  • “shooting” with the eyes. The gaze moves away from the adored object sharply, and a romantic smile appears on the face;
  • stroking one's thighs.
    An aggressive masculine gesture that hints at intimacy is when the thumbs are in the pockets and the rest stick out. This pose is called cowboy. Shaking off specks of dust from oneself, a piercing wide gaze, and adjusting a tie and cuffs are also considered male sexual positions.
• Aggression. You can recognize a hostile attitude towards yourself not only by the look, but also by the position of the person’s body:
  • hands in fists is a dangerous gesture, it is better to stop the conversation, otherwise the conversation will go beyond ordinary words and move on to more active actions;
  • arms sideways is associated with an angry woman. It is difficult to call this ardent aggression; it is a readiness for action.
• Nervousness. When a person is nervous, he cannot sit still, children and teenagers begin to bite their nails, and adults begin to pick up pencils and pens rather than their nails. Excited people also breathe rapidly, they may lack air, and they lick their lips. A state of quiet anxiety is revealed by tapping your fingers on the table.

Examples

How to apply the psychology of body language in everyday life? Learning these patterns may seem difficult. Let's look at an example of a real situation.

Wedding scene. The bride looks at the registry office workers, and the groom directed his gaze at his beloved. The groom does not smile until his future wife sees him. As soon as the bride looked at him, the groom's face immediately broke into a smile. Did this happen after she started turning towards him? What does this situation mean? The corners of the man’s lips are directed downwards, his eyes often flutter. Knowledge of sign language tells us that the young man is tense, but is trying to play a cheerful and carefree groom. He fiddles with his hands, that is, he tries to build a barrier. It can be assumed that he is only pretending to love his future wife.

Correct, organic use allows a woman to achieve greater success with the opposite sex. Girls who openly look at their interlocutor and listen to him attentively, even without natural beauty, make an indelible impression.

In conclusion

Body language is needed not only for leaders, who, by the nature of their work, must convince and force others to act. Every person needs to learn how to correctly interpret the gestures of their interlocutors. You should also control yourself, do not put your hands in your pockets, and do not try to reveal what should be hidden. Conversation without words provides more than verbal information. Ignorance of this international language can lead to problems, misunderstandings and quarrels.

Important: not all gestures are universal. Some signs accepted in one country can be a deadly insult in another.

To avoid trouble, you should study the sign language of your culture, as well as those of the countries where you plan to travel.