As long as people have fun walking to the left of their official spouses, they don't have too many problems. However, if pregnancy occurs when the lover has a family, then the woman may be tormented by questions of how to tell him everything. In fact, making a child is not so difficult, because lovers engage in this process every time they meet. However, you should be aware of the consequences, especially for a married lover.
So, the woman is pregnant, not from her husband, but from her lover. What to do in such a situation? But in reality there are not so many options: keep the child or have an abortion. First of all, this decision is made by the woman. Of course, the lover’s opinion also needs to be taken into account. However, if he is a married man with no intention of getting a divorce, then his answer is quite predictable.
What should a reader of a women's magazine website do if she becomes pregnant from her lover? Act according to circumstances. And there are several of them:
- The woman is free from marriage, and the man is a family man.
- The woman has a husband, and her lover is free.
- Both partners have families from which they are not going to leave.
- Both partners are free.
Lovers started their relationships for certain reasons. Moreover, often the reasons of the mistress do not coincide with the reasons of the lover. For example, a married man is looking for sexual pleasures and an outlet, while a woman, often single, is looking for a potential husband.
A woman may initially want. Often, in this way, women try to separate men from their wives, so that they can then marry themselves. However, here women often miscalculate: nowadays men do not consider themselves obligated to marry everyone who gets pregnant from them. In this case, women are encouraged to have an abortion. And if she doesn't agree, then that's her problem.
Inconsistency of intentions for entering into a secret love affair can be identified:
- When a man is happy about his mistress’s pregnancy, because his wife cannot give him children, but the mistress herself is not ready for motherhood.
- The lover at first seems to agree with paternity, but after the birth of the child he disappears somewhere.
- When a mistress is happy about pregnancy, the same cannot be said about a lover who already has children from his legal wife and therefore demands an abortion.
- Both lovers are happy about the news of pregnancy, destroy their families, create a new one, but over time they realize that they are different people.
- The lovers are already at the stage of breaking up their relationship and want to go their separate ways, but then it turns out that the mistress is expecting a child.
Circumstances may develop differently, so the options for the development of events will also be in different directions.
Desires and possibilities
If people have sex, then naturally they have children after that. But if we are talking about lovers, then they may face many obstacles. It all depends on the desires of the partners themselves and their capabilities.
It happens that a woman is ready to become a mother, she becomes pregnant and does not even force her lover to leave the family. This is what self-sufficient ladies do, who no longer hope to start a family, but really want to become mothers. Often such women work, rely only on themselves, and when they become pregnant, they leave their men without even informing them of their future paternity.
Psychologists respect a woman’s decision to raise a child herself. However, you still need to notify the future father about the birth of the baby. This should be done not in order to take him away from the family, but only so that he knows that he has a child and decides for himself what to do next. Sometimes a man:
- He leaves the family for his mistress, who is expecting a child from him and does not demand a divorce.
- Takes part in the upbringing and development of her child without leaving her family.
- Offers his financial assistance.
In this situation, the woman does not burden the man with paternal obligations. All a man's decisions are his own.
If a young girl becomes pregnant who was absolutely not ready for the baby, then you should not despair. Here, too, the expectant father should be notified of the pregnancy. However, the decision whether to keep the child or have an abortion is ultimately made by the woman.
If a young woman is left without the help of her lover, the father of her child, then she must find the strength in herself not to “cut” the situation, not to have an abortion without thinking well. You can talk to your mother or friends who will see the woman’s situation and offer their help.
Psychologists do not advise a woman to have an abortion when she is in shock and emotional. You can commit an irreparable act. And when the emotions subside, the woman will bitterly regret it. You need to make fateful decisions with a “cool” head. If a woman kept the baby, but continues to doubt the correctness of her decision, then she should wait. When she gives birth to a baby, then all her doubts will be dispelled. Quite often mothers become happy when they see their children.
Many ladies are worried about their own financial insolvency. How to give birth to a child if there is no money to provide for him? Here you need to turn off your emotions and turn on your brains. Two people took part in the creation of new life. Accordingly, no matter how much a man is against the child, he must at least give money for any child expenses. If a lover does not want to voluntarily participate financially in raising a child, then he can be forced through the court.
The child is not from the husband - what to do?
If the woman is married, then the issue of pregnancy from her lover can be somewhat difficult. What to do in such a situation? If a woman does not intend to have an abortion, then the following options are possible:
- Tell her husband that she is pregnant from someone else.
- Do not tell her husband anything and just pretend that she is pregnant from her husband.
- Get divorced and become a single mother.
- Separate from your husband in order to legitimize the relationship with the real father of the child.
Each option has its own advantages and risks. A woman must be prepared for any outcome that may follow her decision. However, a woman should take care of her child first. He's definitely not guilty of anything. And the only person who will accept him and love him is his mother.
What could this or that option lead to? Things to consider:
- When a woman reveals the truth to her husband initially, she clears her conscience. However, you should be prepared for the fact that the husband will not want to accept someone else’s child, who, moreover, was conceived during his wife’s infidelity. This is a double blow for the spouse: his wife cheated and is pregnant by her lover. Often husbands in such situations divorce their wives. Therefore, your conscience will be clear, but you may be left alone. However, in rare cases, a woman comes across an understanding man. If he can eventually accept the child as his own and forgive the woman’s infidelity, then the family can take place.
- When a woman is silent about the true origin of the baby, she saves the family. The husband considers the baby his own, the child considers the husband his dad. However, the worst thing that can happen is if the husband begins to doubt his paternity, because he sees that the baby is absolutely not like him. If the family will always exist, then the woman may be tormented by her conscience, since she knows the truth of the origin of her baby.
- When a woman decides to get a divorce in order to remain a single mother, then she acts very bravely and is not tormented by remorse and does not force anyone to raise her child. However, in this case, the decision must be made on the basis that neither man wants to continue the relationship. If a woman decides everything single-handedly and leaves both gentlemen, then she is acting stupidly. The husband may turn out to be faithful to his wife and very loving, so he is ready to forgive her. A lover may have feelings for a woman, he may be ready to support their common child. In any case, the woman needs to first have an open conversation with both men, and then make decisions.
- When a woman divorces her husband in order to build a family with her lover, this is the most ideal option, since in this case everything is put in its place (the husband is not deceived and is free, the lover recognizes the baby and participates in his upbringing together with his new wife). However, this situation rarely happens.
How to tell your married lover about your pregnancy?
If you found out about your pregnancy from your married lover, then you should talk to him frankly. We insist on a conversation, since a woman must see and hear her man’s reaction so as not to be deceived.
It is better not to insist that a man divorce his wife and marry you. In most cases, this does not work, the man refuses the woman’s proposal and begins to insist on an abortion, which puts the pregnant woman into a nervous state. But a pregnant woman shouldn’t be nervous – it’s bad for the baby’s health.
During a conversation:
- Don't blame anyone. You are no less to blame than your lover.
- Don't push for pity. If a man didn’t promise you anything, then he definitely doesn’t owe you anything. Moreover, if a man does not want to be with you, then think for yourself why you need a man who does not love you.
- Don't force them to give you a solution right away. Let the man think, weigh everything and make a definite decision for himself, for which he himself will be responsible.
Don’t get your hopes up that after hearing about your pregnancy, a man will immediately want to be with you. Married men rarely agree to divorce their wives in order to build a family with their mistresses. Therefore, you should prepare for a negative reaction from a man.
If you do not rely on a man who only knows how to deceive and evade responsibility, then it will be easier for you to survive any negative answer. Remember, only you can decide whether to give birth to a child or have an abortion. A lover's opinion is just words, but you will have to undergo surgery and take the life of the person who is growing inside you. You will be responsible for this, despite the fact that you could have taken this step at the insistence of your lover.
Bottom line
Secret love relationships accompanied by sexual contacts can result in pregnancy. Both partners must understand this. However, a man rarely thinks about the consequences, so the woman will have to answer for everything. If pregnancy occurs, and the man simply evaded, then the woman needs to rely only on herself.
If the baby is saved, then the woman can demand alimony from her lover if her husband does not provide for her. However, it should be understood that through pregnancy it will not be possible to ring a man who does not want it. Therefore, a woman should think in advance what step she is taking, because it is impossible to force a man in our time.
Good afternoon I am writing to you because I want to tell my story and understand how to behave in my situation. We met him at work. They worked in different departments. At first they just looked at each other, then after the corporate party they began to communicate by phone, via internal work communications. I knew that he was married and had two children. She never called him first, never texted him. She simply reciprocated. Neither he nor I had such passion and love before. During the 1.5 years of our communication, he did a lot for me: he took me abroad, took care of my son, furnished the apartment, met my parents with the words that their daughter was in good hands. But the most shocking thing was that he was making plans for our future, telling me how he wanted a child together (we even went through a preliminary examination), that I was his future. And he really believed in it! He discussed our relationship with friends, looking for support from them (to give them their due, they said that he should stay in the family). He went to fortune tellers, seeking consolation there. Fortune tellers said that he had no intimacy with his wife, and that their paths would diverge (even if it wasn’t me). He was tormented that he had children there and could not imagine how he could live far from them. The feeling of guilt forced him to spend a lot of time with the children, he fed them, took them to different clubs, and took them for walks. He didn’t say anything bad about his wife, except that they had no mutual understanding (where could he come from when I appeared in their life), there was never warmth, there was never hugs like we had. At the same time, he said that he was very competent and good. He washes and irons his own clothes. And then it happened. I am pregnant. For a month he walked as if he had been knocked down. I asked him to make a decision, because... I can't see him in this state. What if he says to have an abortion, I will do it, no matter how painful it would be for me. After the ultrasound, which showed 7 weeks of pregnancy, I simply did not let him escape the conversation. He said that he was not ready to destroy the galaxy that he had built there. That it’s not so much about the wife, but about the environment. I asked to leave the keys to my apartment in the table. He began to write SMS so that I would not break the thread that would connect us, that I was already a part of his life forever, that he would take care of us. I went to my parents. After which I finally decided to leave the child. They said that there was no need to take him away from the family, that if he left, they would probably be disappointed in him. Our relationship became very strained. He no longer said that he loved me, there was no tenderness that simply permeated our relationship. I didn't ask questions and behaved just like him. 2 weeks later he sends me a letter. The essence of the letter was that everything must be stopped before it is too late. That it will make everyone unhappy. That he cannot leave the family and will never do this, because... has no right to ruin the destinies of people close to him. What if I leave the baby, he won’t be happy either, because... will live far from him. That I will be alone, it will be painful and difficult for me, and he will not be there. That I am young, beautiful, smart and will still build my life with an unmarried man. I received this letter early in the morning when I arrived at work. In order not to get emotional, I silently stood up and left (we are now working in another company and he is my immediate boss). In the evening I sent him an SMS, which they refused to do to me, because... It’s already been a long time (in fact, I haven’t gone anywhere). After a day of silence, he comes to my house and sits at my feet. I knew why he came, but I practically didn’t give him a word. I spoke with tears. She said that it was my decision, that I didn’t need him. I know that I am alone here, that I have no one, that it will be hard for me, but I won’t be able to kill the fetus (not the embryo). I sat almost silently, kissing my hands. He left without a sip. I did not show initiative in communicating with him. He himself came up to me at work and talked about work issues, about my family issues. I read books that there is no need to reproach, that you need to let go, that it was good and you need to remember this, that this is a time for spiritual development... But he began to communicate with me, as if I had offended him in some way. One morning I wrote a letter saying I was grateful for everything he did for me. That I accept his choice and internally let him go. He kept saying that we would go crazy. I also forgot to mention the fact that we live in neighboring houses. He constantly monitors the presence of my car, or its absence. I tried to keep myself busy and went away for the weekend. He started texting that he wanted to see me. I answered that when they left, they were leaving. On one of our joint business trips, when we were given a tour of the workshop, I managed to lose consciousness. Naturally, he looked like a savior. After which he came to my house with groceries. Sex happened. But not the same as always. More animalistic, silent. He didn’t stay with me long, he went home. This is where our relationship is now consolidated. No more tenderness, no more words of love. But his presence is in my life. I can’t understand what to do, how to behave correctly. The belly will soon begin to appear. At work they will immediately understand who the father of the child is. Help?
Pregnancy is happiness for a woman. Especially if the child is desired, and the family in which he will appear is complete. But there are situations when the news of future happiness puts a couple into a stupor. This is a pregnancy from a lover. How to be here?
Naturally, there are only two options - give birth or have an abortion. The most difficult thing is to make that fateful decision. Here the beautiful half needs to think carefully. And think based not on your habits and conveniences, but on the conditions or circumstances in which the future child will grow up.
Circumstances created by chance or by the lovers themselves will be as follows:
- The mistress is free from family ties, and the partner is married.
- The woman is married, the man is single.
- Both partners have families, but for some reason do not want to get a divorce.
- Both are divorced and in open relationships.
Now let's talk about the couple's aspirations. By starting an affair, the couple seeks to enjoy spiritual and sexual relationships. Pregnancy is discussed very rarely, and if it is discussed, it is mostly as a joke, by the way. After all, people are convinced that such “happiness” will certainly not happen to them. And in vain. It happens that a mistress does not inform her boyfriend about her desire to have a child. When the wish of one half of the couple is fulfilled, the other half falls into a stupor and simply disappears.
Also, the discrepancy between aspirations can be expressed in the following ways:
- The boyfriend does not mind and is even happy, since the wife is not able to give birth. However, the expectant mother herself is against it - for example, she plans a career, but not marriage.
- The suitor accepts the news, but disappears after the birth.
- For a lady, pregnancy is happiness, for a married man it is a headache, because he already has heirs from his legal wife. Demands an abortion.
- Both want to become parents. They even divorce their exes and enter into a marriage, but after a while it turns out that people are completely different in spirit.
- The couple has “outlived” its usefulness and decided to break off the love affair, but then it turns out that the lady is in a delicate position.
Of course, we have not listed all the circumstances, but only the most common ones.
Pregnant from your lover? No matter how difficult the situation, the female half of the couple needs to make an important decision - to give life to a new person or to terminate it immediately. It’s good if the situation involves a woman of conscious age who has long wanted to become a mother, but due to circumstances it didn’t work out. Then she is unlikely to care about her partner’s opinion. Often, self-sufficient ladies do not inform the future father at all. They simply remove themselves from the life of their married boyfriend, believing that the mission is accomplished. Such ladies want to express their respect, but still offer a little advice - inform the man, tell him about your situation, the man has the right to know. Why?
Firstly, there are examples when the faithful left their wives and created quite strong families with someone who seemed to be just a joy.
Secondly, suddenly he will show himself as a responsible, reliable partner and insist on help (if not education, then financial).
And thirdly, no one has canceled the paternal instinct. Perhaps it is very important for a man to see, nurture and spend time with his blood. Don't deprive it without knowing the truth.
If a young girl becomes pregnant from her lover and is not expecting such a turn of events, you should not despair either. Do not rush to run to the doctor, find out the timing and set a date for the operation. First, contact the person closest to you - your mother, for example, share your story and ask what to do.
Secondly, you must know that while you are in a state of shock, nothing can be done.
And thirdly - the most important thing - a girl may throughout her pregnancy doubt whether she did the right thing by leaving the child, but after seeing her child with her own eyes, she will radically change her mind. There are a huge number of examples where a young mother after giving birth is incredibly happy that she did not have an abortion and feels horror at just such a thought. Let's say more, changes “before and after” occur not only with those who were in an ambiguous situation, changes occur with more than half of expectant mothers (even with those for whom everything is perfect in family terms).
Also, the financial side of the issue often becomes a stumbling block. Sometimes young girls are embarrassed to contact the baby’s father, not knowing how to say that they need help. This is wrong. Understand that both of you are responsible for what happened. Therefore, both should take part not only in raising, but also in providing for the child. This position must be conveyed to the ears of your loved one and in no case should you be ashamed of what they think of you. If a man still doesn’t understand that conception is a matter of two and that two people are also to blame, then he should be worried about what you and those around you will think.
The child is not from my husband, what should I do?
What to do if you are married and the child is from someone else? We close the topic of abortion immediately. But let’s talk about how to live and whether it’s realistic to live with your husband if you become pregnant from your lover.
Again, everything is in your hands. You can do the following:
- Tell your spouse right away that the child is from someone else and clear your conscience.
- Don't talk and give birth. Everyone will be happy, believing that the baby is from the legal spouse.
- Get divorced and become a single mother.
- Divorce and legalize relations with the future father.
The most important thing is to be prepared for the fact that one of these actions will radically change your life. No less important - when making a decision, think not about your own benefit, but about the good of the little man. And finally, each point has an equal number of pros and cons. Which ones? It's worth thinking about.
What are the options?
Let's take the first point. Clearing your conscience is great, being honest with someone who trusts you is great, but how will your husband perceive such information? If you are confident in the love and sanity of your chosen one and know for sure that he will understand, forgive over time and become a real father for the little one - then choose the first option. But in life everything is not so smooth. Often a spouse files for divorce, because living and knowing that you have been cheated on and watching a little creature NOT YOURS run around your apartment is very painful.
What development scenarios could there be in the second paragraph? This may be the most altruistic option. Because this will not affect the welfare of the child, nor the relationship with her husband and loved ones. Only you will feel bad. Sometimes living with pangs of conscience and an overwhelming feeling of guilt becomes impossible. The lady exhibits causeless aggression, conflict and frequent depression. Not only the beautiful person begins to suffer, but the entire family begins to suffer. By the way, first of all - the husband, who has absolutely no idea what is to blame and why he became an object for venting anger. So, the family breaks up supposedly out of nowhere. On the other hand, a strong-willed woman will always remember why, or rather, for whom she endures torment. Strong motivation in the person of the baby will not allow her to become despondent and over time the feeling of guilt will subside.
The third point is single mother. Yes - boldly, yes - life without lies and remorse. But, perhaps, this is the point. What if you love your husband? What if he loves you? What if this case shows how poor and morally poor your lover is and how noble your spouse is? After all, the latter can forgive. Therefore, you need to leave not silently, without explanation, but after speaking frankly. And by the way, you can only leave for a while, not forever. When emotions subside, perhaps your spouse will come and ask you to return. There are also such examples.
And the last option is marriage with a new lover. This happens rarely, but it does happen. If you have mutual love, and family relationships have long been completely broken, a new marriage is a worthy solution. Here the delicate situation will not become a problem, but rather a salvation, a kind of sign that this should be so. And then - stop torturing yourself and your unloved one, living under the same roof.
How to tell about this news
How to tell that you are pregnant? Don't think about whether your loved one will marry you. Don’t expect such a topic, and especially don’t mention it in conversation. Focus on what matters most - your pregnancy. You shouldn’t be nervous, and a hint about marriage can provoke inappropriate behavior from your partner (besides, just one message is enough!) and cause a conflict that will lead to worries.
There must be a CONVERSATION. Do not write SMS to phone or email. They don’t write about such things - they just talk about them! In addition, if you inform your lover about your pregnancy via SMS, his wife may find out about it and then the problem will double.
Here's what else you shouldn't do when delivering news like this:
- No blame in any way. Remember, you are both to blame.
- Don't put any moral pressure. If there were no promises during the affair, he doesn't owe you anything. Accept the fact. And if he is so weak-willed that by putting pressure on him you will still “squeeze out” a promise to leave your family and organize a joint wedding, think three times, what will your life be like? Do you need a forced relationship? With such a soft-bodied creature... Moreover, being weak-willed, a man can always fall under the influence of his ex-wife and change his decisions several times, running from you to her.
- Give the man the opportunity to decide. You have already voiced your position, now it’s your loved one’s turn. Let him think, suffer, digest, and then give it away.
What exactly do you need to find out: are you ready, what are you ready for, or not ready at all? This is all.
Now let's talk about what you should do when preparing for the conversation. The best remedy for stress is the right attitude. Don’t go to extremes - hysteria, tears or cold aloofness (like, I don’t need anything from you). At the same time, do not indulge yourself with illusions; realize that the news may be far from pleasant for your loved one. Don’t be surprised if this happens, because even statistics say that the percentage of married suitors who rejoice in the delicate position of their mistress is tiny. So, instead of finding out if your loved one is ready to leave the family, find out if he is ready to be a father to an illegitimate son? If not, try not to push your lover out the door, but to convince or at least make you think that real men are not afraid of responsibility.
Also, when bringing your chosen one to light, do not fall into an emotional explanation; it is better to maintain a dry, official tone. If you keep yourself under control, you will not only be able to avoid unpleasant scenes, but also see or feel what your partner is really experiencing. And the last thing - a negative result is also a result. If a man is negative, give him time to think. Often, as in the case of girls, paternal feelings awaken after the birth of the baby. If the future dad doesn’t make himself known for a week or two and never comes to announce his decision, don’t worry. Either he will return, but later, or he will not return, well, you don’t need one like that. Think about the main thing.
If you find yourself in an interesting position, and your lover is married, this only makes the situation more confusing. How to tell your married lover that he will soon become a dad? There are some tips that may help.
Have you entered into a love relationship with a married man? Then you are definitely in an unenviable position. Especially if you find yourself pregnant from this man. How to present this news to him? There are some tips to help both you and your lover cope with the situation.
Seriousness
Since the topic is serious, it needs to be spoken seriously. Without feigned joy or grief. In an even and calm tone in a private setting. And, of course, only in person. There is no need to write messages on this topic. Remember that your man is not free, and someone from his family may accidentally discover the message. Tell your lover that you are in a difficult situation. You are like a couple, not you alone. After all, he also took part in the conception. Do not blame the man for anything, nor do you blame yourself. Just state the fact, and then ask about the prospects for the future. Not only in terms of your relationship, but also in terms of your future child.
Set yourself up correctly
Practice your speech at home. And prepare yourself for the fact that your news may not be so pleasant for your partner. You must be prepared for this, because, according to statistics, a very small percentage of married men leave for their mistress because the latter is pregnant. Set yourself the task not to take a man away from the family, but to prepare him for fatherhood. Regardless of whether a man is with you or not, this does not relieve him of parental responsibilities. Report this in a dry, official tone, without unnecessary emotions and hysteria.
Without emotionality
Try to keep your emotions under control. If you have the courage to start a relationship with a married man, you should have the courage to talk about pregnancy. It is advisable that the conversation take place in a place where no one can overhear you. Firstly, extra eyes and ears are not needed in such a conversation. Secondly, it is not in your interests for anyone to find out that you are dating a married man and expecting a child from him.
If a man has expressed a sharply negative opinion about his future fatherhood, you should not put pressure on him. Leave him alone for a while so he can think things over. Do not intrude, do not catch your eye if possible. This will give him time to decide everything on his own. There is also no point in delaying further plans too much. After a week, try contacting your lover again. If his decision is unchanged, find the courage to solve your situation yourself.
Look at women who are in an “interesting situation” with a planned child. It seems that they are glowing with joy - even the lowest kid suddenly settles down and takes up knitting. Bonnets, vests, booties - everything is so touching!
You're pregnant too. Only, unlike these happy women, you are walking blacker than a cloud after the test showed two stripes. Because not only do you have an unplanned pregnancy, but it is also from your lover. What to do in this situation?
Let's consider two situations - if you are married and if your lover is married.
If you are married
Anything can happen - well, you fell in love on the side, even though you are married, well, you ran to the left, well, you didn’t take proper precautions, so you got pregnant. By the timing, you understand that the child is not her husband’s. The main percentage of women in this situation try to make love with their legal spouse as often as possible, so that the error in timing is not so visible - maybe it will slip through.
Or even doubts simply crept in that your pregnancy was from someone unknown - either from your husband or from your lover, because you had sex alternately with both. And my husband already seemed to be happy - go ahead, give birth, I want a son! Do you still doubt that abortion is necessary? Then here are all the options for the turn of events.
From the very first day of a child’s birth, all relatives try to take a closer look at the baby’s appearance:
- whose eyes does he have?
- what kind of hair does he have?
- and who does he look more like?
It is clear that if the husband is the blond and snub-nosed Vanka, and the lover is the dark-skinned Arsen, then the difference will be immediately obvious. But it also happens that the child does not resemble any adult in his husband’s family, even though there is not much difference in the men.
Doubts creep in, rumors spread, spouses begin to argue about this, and everything eventually becomes clear. By any means - even by exposing her lover, or by taking DNA tests. Who's to blame?
Everything turns out by chance
Let’s say the husband doesn’t suspect anything and raises someone else’s child as his own. But the child has serious health problems, and tests are taken from the parents for his recovery.
This is where the truth comes out. It’s a huge scandal, it breaks the spouse’s heart, it’s a disaster for the child, especially if he’s already a teenager. Who is to blame for deceiving two people if not herself?
Lover found out everything
You value your family, everything is there - financial well-being, happiness, the love of your husband. And what happened to the left was nothing, a slight hobby. Losing your family is a big blow for you, and it’s disgusting to even think about self-indulgence, although your boyfriend pestered you with his attention for a long time.
But some disgusting magpie on its tail reported to your former lover about your pregnancy. This is a reason for him to show up and remind himself. Even if this is far from being a pregnancy, but an already grown child. That's it, the family fell apart.
What are the options?
If you think that abortion is a sin, then you are late with your conclusions. You already made a big mistake when you ran to your lover. Therefore, while you are in the early stages, run to the doctors. If your husband knows everything about pregnancy and wants a child, then pretend that the toxicosis is unbearable and you yourself cannot withstand this load.
The only difficulty can be if this is your first pregnancy, and abortion is dangerous because in the future you will no longer get pregnant. You need to give birth, and in this situation you have three options:
Tell your husband everything honestly. The percentage that he will forgive you is very low, but you will live with a pure soul, even if you become a single mother, having ruined your family.
Tell your lover everything honestly. If he is not married to you, then he may even be happy if he dreamed of living together with you and having a child together.
Pray to God all your life so that no one finds out anything. Even if you doubted who your child was from, then after his birth you will know better who he really looks like.
But if there is no risk of becoming infertile, then hurry up to dispel doubts while there is still time to get rid of pregnancy, otherwise there will be only one way out - give birth and tremble all your life.
If the lover is married
Oh, these mistresses, God knows what to expect from them. Each one goes crazy in its own way:
One is satisfied with this status - she is semi-free and is supported by a rich sugar daddy. She doesn’t need to pull him out of the family, and everything is fine.
Another is tormented by the question - . But the most insidious plan for her is to get pregnant from her married man.
The third knows for sure: no matter what happens, the man will not leave his family. Therefore, an unplanned pregnancy is a real shock for her and a fear of losing her lover.
So, in all three options, your man is not ready to accept this news. The stupidest option is to do nothing and not talk about this “unexpected person”. Take time, and then say in this context:
Honey, I doubted it for a long time, but now I bought a test and suddenly found out that I was pregnant. I went to the doctor, but it turns out it’s too late to have an abortion. What are we going to do?
Well, if your lover is not a mug, then he will understand the whole essence of your deceit. Even a young lady will understand that she is pregnant as soon as toxicosis begins and her periods stop.
Yes, it happens that pregnancy goes through the menstrual cycle and without toxicosis, but this is so rare! Therefore, if you shock him so much, then you need to hold him by the hem of his shirt so that he does not run away.
If you do without this treachery and tell your lover everything in the early stages, then carefully monitor his reaction - your future relationship depends on it.
He suggested having an abortion
Don't faint - that's what most married men suggest. And that's right. If you were immediately told that he was not going to leave his family, then you should have taken care of contraceptive methods.
You don’t always have to blame men for everything - a woman is equally to blame if she gets caught, if she has brains. Moreover, she secretly meets with the traitor of her own family. Where is the guarantee that he will not betray a woman of a lower status - his mistress?
The abortion option is indeed the right one. If he offered you this, then he practically tells you directly that he is not planning anything serious with you. If you want, give birth, but it will be your problem. And the married man will most likely disappear from your life.
True, if this happens and you decide to give birth, then even in this situation you have a chance to marry another man. But even in this case there are pitfalls. You can read about them in the article.
He offered you content
Not a bad option, unless you really want this child, and the baby will not be a means for you to lure the father out of his family. You must love him even in the embryo.
There is a chance (weak, but there is one) that the newborn child will melt daddy’s heart so much that your married man will come over to your side. Well, what if? Although most often it happens like this: he becomes a “Sunday dad” and occasionally visits you, giving you money for your maintenance.
But there is also a risk, it is more likely. The man said - the man didn’t do it. He brought flowers, fruits and diapers to the maternity hospital, gave him money for the first time, and there was no trace of him. The child is not listed on the birth certificate - that’s weird!
He decided to leave his family and marry you
Well, rejoice! Only if he is determined to do this, then let him do it in hot pursuit. If he drags on, feeding you with promises, then don’t expect anything good.
Time passes - the baby in the belly is developing, and soon it will be too late. But when it’s already “too late” and the promises continue, then get ready to be a strong woman. You may have to raise the baby yourself. Or maybe this is for the best, why do you need such a daddy - a liar and a coward?!
But remember the main thing - never try to marry a man “thanks” to your pregnancy and think with your head in the early stages. A happy child can only be when he is born into a complete, loving family.
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. It’s like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any problems in your relationship at all.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
