In our article today we will talk about some of the features of our psychology. We will talk about how to forget everything, or more precisely, how this can be done. Very often we are tormented by past memories, preventing us from living normally, but it is possible to cope with them.
How to forget all the bad things
The classic advice from psychologists is to keep yourself busy with something else. And there is a certain reason for this. If you think about it, a busy person will not spend too much time reminiscing about the past, turning to it only when necessary. Even in his free time, he will not have time to stir up the past, since he will simply want to take a break from business. So loading yourself up isn't such a bad idea. Well, what should those who can’t do it do? Here, too, some psychologists may reach a dead end. Forget about everything - how else can you do this? There is another way, which is called very simply - awareness. But what do you need to realize? This is what we will now talk about in detail.
What is the past
It would seem that the answer is extremely simple, the past is what happened to us once, long ago or not so long ago. The key word here is happening. Thus, the past is our mind, which bothers us, preventing us from living normally in the present. There is only one way to cope with the mind: to realize that everything that once happened is not real. It's easy to say, but many people fail. Then ask yourself this question: why are you so attached to the past, is there really nothing interesting in the present? Maybe I will tell you a banal thing, but there is no point in living the past in your mind, you simply turn into a zombie, a programmed person, lost not so much for society, but, first of all, for yourself. Not impressive? Then I will tell you about one interesting person who went through a lot in life, including a war, but ultimately became famous for his ability to help people cope with various difficulties, and in particular, overcome problems associated with the past. His name was Harilal Punja, but in the world he is better known as Papaji. So he spoke very interestingly about the mind. The mind, he said, is a grave robber, digging up bones from the past for his own profit. In order to understand this, you just need to experience some bright event, even a shock. At this moment you will not think about anything other than this event.
The most effective way
Just imagine: you are walking along a forest path, thinking about going on vacation to warmer climes next week, or going through your breakup with someone. And then a moose jumps out onto the path. Tell me - what will you think about? Where do your thoughts about the past go? That's right, not a trace will remain of them, because at the moment you will need to think about much more important things, namely, your own safety. In the case of one parable, it was about a woman contemplating her wedding when a lion jumped into the road in front of her. So you need to invite such a lion onto your path or, not figuratively speaking, change something in your life. A new hobby, a new job, a change of place of residence or a trip somewhere and, of course, a new love can help here. There is no past - there is only our memory of it, and this is an indisputable fact. And there is nothing wrong with memory itself; the main thing is to use it correctly, namely, to solve problems in the present.
About grievances
A roughly similar technique applies to how to forget all grievances. Just think about what those grievances are. I assure you: many of them, upon mature reflection, will seem frivolous to you. Well, let the serious ones serve as a lesson for you for the future. Take this as a lesson that it is better not to have anything to do with such people. The question is often asked: is it necessary to take revenge? It must be decided based on your character. For example, there are things that I cannot forgive when a serious offense was inflicted not on me personally, but on a loved one. You can act in your own way, but do not forget that you need to respond adequately, in no case going too far. Most grievances are painful only for our ego - such ones can simply be ignored and attention should be paid to more important things. You just need to not confuse self-esteem and ego - they are completely different things. This way you will avoid many unnecessary experiences, which is what I wish for you.
There is a saying: “After a fight, don’t wave your fists.” But how sometimes you want to replay the past, keep to yourself the hurtful words spoken in the heat of anger, bring back loved ones who left early, not commit Sometimes it seems that it is impossible to forget the past. It hurts, worries, poisons existence, brings unbearable pain.
But it is impossible to live in the past. No matter how painful it may be, what has passed is left behind, it cannot be corrected. We need to move on with our lives. But how to do this? How to forget the past that brings so much pain?
There are two solutions to the problem. The first one is the simplest. You can continue to remember what has passed, cherish your sadness, daily experience the pain of resentment or loss, gradually poisoning the life not only of yourself, but also of those around you.
The second solution is more complex, but productive. We need to let go of everything that has sunk into oblivion. Remember, as in the song: “And you forgive him, forgive him and let him go.” The past will still pass. Emotions will smooth out, grief will subside. But in order to get rid of negative memories forever, you need to force yourself not to think about them. Just force it. After all, because you experience the departure of a loved one every day, he will not return, and life will not become the same as it was before.
Imagine that in front of you there is a wall on which photographs from your past life hang. They are bright, distinct, colorful. And only one of them is faded, black and white. Take a closer look at her. Yes, she is unpleasant, she opens wounds. But there are so many light and bright pictures around. Mentally move the photo to the farthest corner. Tell yourself: “Life goes on.” And then try to mentally hang bright color photographs from your future life on the wall.
Keep yourself busy with something new. It doesn’t matter what it is: meeting new friends, singing in a choir, raising grandchildren, or implementing a new business idea. If a business appears that you can happily devote yourself to, the question of how to forget the past will fade into the background, and from the past itself, over time, only pleasant, perhaps a little sad, but no longer hurtful memories will remain. You just need to put effort into this, you need
How to forget the past? Hundreds of psychological books have been written about this. But they all boil down to one thing: to do it, you need to work hard. If you refuse to work on yourself, prefer self-destruction to creation, then there will simply be no future.
Therefore, before answering the question of how to forget the past, choose the appropriate technique and begin to act, think carefully about what is more important. What will you choose - constant self-flagellation and eternal tears or a happy future in which you will not repeat many mistakes, you will be able to achieve success, and continue to live? It's up to you. If you decide to continue life, then do not feel sorry for yourself, and everything will work out.
There is one more question that worries many. How to forget a grudge? What to do if a seemingly faithful person humiliated, insulted or simply betrayed?
First, try to understand the cause of the resentment. What if you just greatly exaggerated? No? Then try to understand why you were offended. Maybe you yourself provoked this attitude? Or maybe the person just wanted to make you see something you don’t notice, but didn’t do it very skillfully? What if circumstances just turned out that way?
Now think about why, in fact, you don’t want to forgive? Perhaps this will benefit you. Many people try to raise their own self-esteem without forgiving the repentant person. You can blame your own failures or miscalculations on someone who is wrong. Be honest with yourself. As soon as you realize the reason for your deep resentment, you will immediately feel better.
Try to get rid of the negativity. There are many ways. You can start breaking old dishes, start going to the gym, or join a martial arts club. Just don’t take it out on other people who have nothing to do with the conflict.
Finally, the most important thing. Learn to forgive and love yourself. Know how to stop in time, stop grieving about what has passed. After all, in life everything ends sooner or later, and there are no people who have not made mistakes.
Work on yourself and be happy.
Each of us has a past that, after many years, still affects our present. What we have already lived can make us inert people who are afraid to trust others. Everything that happened then still slows down the process of self-realization, preventing success in the future. The negativity of the past, resentment and disappointment - all this often simply sucks the energy out of a person, makes him lose faith in himself and his own strength. Over time, this begins to irritate more successful people.
Do we need to free ourselves from the past?
Failures distract the mind from setting life goals, do not allow us to move forward, and limit our actions. How can this be? How to say goodbye to the sad past that prevents you from living? And if there is no way to forget, then how to direct your feelings and emotions in the right direction? How to live with this further?
First of all, you need to understand that not all memories of the past need to be freed. After all, what happened brought us not only pain and resentment. Life does not consist of only black stripes! Have you ever experienced moments of happiness and joy? Therefore, before you try to change your current state, you need to calmly analyze your past. Some kind of psychological inventory should be carried out.
Remember once and for all - it is impossible to get rid of bad memories by constantly thinking about what happened to you. Start accepting everything that has happened to you as a life experience. And only after that you can move on with your life without looking back. Unfortunately, girls often continue to treat failures and disappointments with annoyance, reproaching themselves for mistakes and mistakes. And for a long time, representatives of the fair sex cannot forget the insults inflicted by someone, cultivating them in their souls and increasingly blocking their path to the future.
If a person is constantly in such a state, he is doomed to failure. You can't look forward optimistically if you're always looking back. It won’t take long for you to not only break your neck or stumble, but also fall into a deep hole, from which it is quite difficult to get out. Usually we don’t know how to forget past relationships, we don’t imagine how to say goodbye to grievances. It would seem simpler - realize, analyze your mistakes and move on with your life. However, many girls don’t even try to change anything. They do not suspect that they are blocking their own path to success.
In a word, in order to fully perceive the present, make the right plans and boldly step into the future, you need to remember one rule - forget the past, like an uninteresting and boring book. After all, we throw garbage out of the house and don’t store it? It would be strange to regret expired cheese or sour milk. We sigh, put it in a bag and go get new products. Of course, I wouldn’t want to buy expired sausage or sour cream. But we have already learned to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Learning to forget grievances
Forgetting your negative past is not so easy. It keeps you awake at night and suddenly pops up in your memory at the most inopportune moment. It is tormented by feelings of guilt and regrets that everything could have been different. Could it or not? What if you would have acted differently, and this would have led to more serious consequences?
Everything that fate had in store for you had to go through. This helped me become wiser, more patient, and more experienced. But even if you are to blame for what happened once, why lament now? What happened was what happened - it can’t be corrected. Failures must be treated calmly, since it is impossible to forget the past and constantly regret it.
Let's try to let go of our past and try to switch to events in the present. There are many ways to do this. And only through trial and error will you find the right option for you. Some people need to change the situation by going abroad, while others find it easier to burn their ex’s things. The only thing you need to understand is that without new experiences and without crazy antics you won’t be able to forget about your troubles.
So let's get started. We take a pen and a piece of paper, remember some situations and moments from our life, then try to look at them as if from the outside. We try to be calm and not react too emotionally to memories.
We remember that our goal now is to close the doors to our negative past and direct our energy to the future. We concentrate and watch our memories, like the frames of a movie on a TV screen. We are not present in them! Just look and write down on a piece of paper the names of the people present in them. Our task is to get rid of memories in order to start living again, and not to bring ourselves to tears.
We do this until our memories run out. At the same time, we don’t strain ourselves, trying to remember what doesn’t come to mind in the first place. If it does not appear, it means that it is not essential for building our future. First of all, our consciousness provides the information that is especially important at the moment. You shouldn't add anything unnecessary to it. We take only what we are able to process without stress.
After you have freed yourself from past memories and written down the names on a piece of paper, calmly and detachedly look at the resulting list. Did you get a lot of names? It's okay because it doesn't matter. We just try not to feel emotions towards people bearing these names. Did Alexander hurt us? Well, well, it’s already been experienced... Did Elena once offend us? It was a long time ago and no longer matters. Did Tatiana betray you once? Tatyana has not been in our lives for many years, so is it worth remembering this betrayal?
We consider each person behind this or that name in approximately the same way. We don’t sort people into good and bad. We do not condemn them, we do not criticize them, we do not praise them, we do not evaluate them. Unfortunately, you cannot erase the past, leaving it in your emotional world. We also do not try to evaluate the positive and negative aspects of situations that have occurred in our lives. After all, everything that happened to us before shaped us in the present. It is in it that we now exist, and in the past we are simply putting things in order.
We look at the names on the list until our consciousness gets used to perceiving them detachedly. This is the first step towards how you can forget the past. Now we must form a separate niche in our consciousness into which we will place our past.
Human memory is like a large warehouse where everything that once happened to us is stored. It is impossible to destroy it. But it’s easy to hide everything in the farthest room of the memory warehouse and then close the door tightly. In a word, we need to isolate memories in a separate corner of our consciousness and try to never go there again. To isolate, we mentally address everyone on the list at once, without highlighting the individual and the connections between them.
How to forget your past and move on? Just imagine that in front of you is a group of people, a kind of team, where everyone works to the best of their abilities. And each of them has their own role in which they played in your life. We thank everyone for participating in our destiny, for the fact that we gained a lot of experience. After all, all people are travelers following a certain route. For some time their paths cross, one person interacts with the other, then they separate and move on.
We will be grateful to everyone who met us. And it doesn’t matter what experience we got, good or bad. Both the positive and the negative of the past are all valuable. They are the building blocks of our future. And may our temporary life companions also have such a foundation. Let's write a letter of gratitude to them and wish them good luck on their journey.
We do this until we feel inner lightness. This means that we have been able to resolve the problems of the past. And it turned from a heap of complex tasks into an ordinary life experience. Now we are trying to direct our energy in the right direction. We turn to ourselves with thoughts and set goals for ourselves. We plan only our own future, without affecting others, no matter how close they are to you.
It is better to think of other people as lucky, happy and healthy individuals, without fitting them into the situations you plan for yourself. Because the hope for the participation of others in personal destiny is nothing more than violence against their will. And the free will of any person is inviolable.
In a word, even mentally you should behave correctly towards others. You can forget past relationships only if you understand that the free will of each participant is always present in the creation of any situation. An attempt on her life is unacceptable. You cannot plan your future based on the participation of other people in it. Perhaps they will help us build it, but it is quite likely that this will not happen.
And why, hoping for someone’s presence and not seeing this person one day nearby, become confused, not knowing where to move next? Is this the kind of future we want for ourselves? Of course not. Therefore, we plan and organize only our own destiny. Let other people enter it or, on the contrary, leave it, but only of their own free will.
After we have placed our past in the farthest corner of the memory warehouse and determined our plans for the future, we boldly move forward. There is no need to look back - the past is safely hidden and you will never see it again. We have already taken everything we need from it. We don't need extra luggage on the way. Walk lightly more quickly. And it’s more fun, because we have a goal ahead of us.
Self-hypnosis is one of the most effective ways to forget the past. Of course, not every one of us seeks to erase it from life. But if the memories are painful, then you need to get rid of them. Otherwise, they will interfere with building your destiny.
If you find it too difficult to forget the past, contact a specialist. They will help you understand the picture of what is happening. There is no need to carry the baggage of memories into a new life. Everything that we have experienced before, we have already experienced repeatedly in our memories. Every situation of the past is a brick in the foundation of our future. And it depends only on us.
Discussion 11
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Greetings to all my readers and subscribers, and those who have just decided to join the large number of people involved in self-development and their health. This article will talk about our negative memories, which sometimes haunt us like a “snowball”. Let's learn to get rid of them effectively.
Every person makes a lot of mistakes in his life, and this is quite normal. We are not robots to do everything perfectly. But some people learn from them, while others engage in self-flagellation, remembering mistakes again and again.
Some particularly strong negative memories bring a person a feeling of embarrassment, shame or fear, and this is very bad from a psychological point of view. This greatly spoils the mood and on this basis it can, but it is very difficult to fight it.
It is common for any person to make mistakes in life, and the main thing is to learn to extract positive moments from them and not to dwell on the past. We hope the following tips will help you at least a little to forget all the bad things in your life.
1 Learn to love yourself
It is necessary in any situation to accept yourself as you are, and not to drive yourself into the rigid framework imposed by society. If you love yourself and begin to enjoy life, then it will also be favorable to you.
2 Stop dwelling on your problems and past failures
If you are constantly haunted by negative memories from the past and interfere with your normal life, you can try using this psychological technique.
Imagine the problem in full force. You need to relive it again, only in your thoughts. Remember all the details and sensations. Try to make it as bright and natural as possible. After you have reached maximum visual perception, imagine the problem in the form of some image that came to you at that moment.
Observe it from the outside, carefully looking at the details, and after a while, mentally remove it from your head, thinking about something good. You can then consolidate the result, for example, by doing push-ups. This technique of replacing negative with positive is used in the army. And it works well.
3 Look at future problems and troubles from a philosophical point of view
There is no such thing as everything going like clockwork. Every person has problems, both in the past and in the future. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is their scale.
One person, when a car breaks down and has no money to repair it, can be completely demoralized, while a professional military man, for example, can fight for his life and be in an almost hopeless situation, but at the same time.
All problems are relative, and they mean exactly as much as we attach to them.
4 Technique “Draw a problem”
Of course, many of us are not artists, but if negative memories persist, take a piece of blank paper and draw the problem. Draw the first thing that comes to your mind. This works in the same way as the previous technique, only with the help of graphics it is possible to develop the image more strongly. After you have drawn it, burn the paper. After a few sessions, the experience should decrease significantly.
After completing these exercises, think about the good things. Life is beautiful if you approach it in a positive way! Good luck to you!
All people on earth have a past. It manifests itself in the form of thoughts and emotions. We are happy to scroll through good memories in our heads, we experience joy again and again, but bad ones sometimes haunt us, and this spoils our mood. After all, no one wants to think about difficult moments and unpleasant situations. I want to forget them, to destroy them, but memory actively resists, providing us with scenes from a not entirely pleasant past.
It happens that a person simply cannot erase the imprints of what happened, periodically thoughts overcome him, thereby life is overshadowed by grievances, disappointments, and anxieties.
You need to get rid of negative emotions as quickly as possible; it is impossible to live in the past and at the same time create happy and joyful everyday life. Without letting go of events and memories, it is impossible to move forward, build new relationships, achieve success and calling. The whirlpool of past events literally pulls you to the bottom. Some give up, others are angry with themselves and those around them, and others stop respecting themselves to such an extent that they sink to the bottom.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, then be sure to pull yourself together, start acting, sparing yourself and your strength to create a new life full of joy and satisfaction.
Why can't you forget the past?
That's all for today! Make a choice in favor of happiness and joy, development and self-improvement. Leave negativity and disappointments in people and yourself in the past, forget it. It is very important that you feel like a confident person, that you can achieve success and heights, find new love and build a new life full of positive emotions.
