So what is he like, an American husband? What it's like: marry an American and live in the USA? For those women who want marry an American, it is useful to know about their national characteristics. I want to talk a little about my opinion about them.
Of course, it is very difficult to create an accurate portrait of all American men. Firstly, because America is a multinational country. And secondly, I didn’t communicate with everyone, I know my husband, his friends, I can appreciate some of their actions, I once helped with surveys of men on international dating sites, and I also watch American news.
Today, marrying an American will no longer surprise anyone. And only the lazy did not talk about the negative experience of Russian brides in the press and on television. I can also say that our press and television do not give a complete picture of Americans in general and their men in particular. While reading this article, I ask you to take into account that here, as elsewhere, all people are very different, but several traits that are most often found in American men can be identified...
1.
Firstly, men value family ties. The employee and friend who has a family and children enjoys great respect. For example, my husband says that at work they all have photographs of their wives and children: at the workplace; in the changing cabin; in a truck (best man), etc. They brag about the successes of their children and wives openly and without embarrassment. At meetings/acquaintances, all my husband’s friends showed me photographs of their loved ones on their phones and were very happy when I said: “He (She) looks very good” or “They are beautiful.”
Because of this, it is difficult to “divide” children during a divorce; men, just like women, fight for custody of their children.
But men also love to help their wives with housework, and often responsibilities are distributed truly equally. Maybe this is due to the fact that there is more here, everything is mechanized: dishwashers, automatic vacuum cleaners, bread (meat, sausage...) slicers and openers, and cooking does not take as much time as in Russia?!! But I am inclined to believe that this is their mentality, their concern for the home. They know how to do everything and are always ready to help with housework.
2.
If you married an American, then you will have to come to terms with the fact that they work hard, often they like their work! What to hide, most often Russian women and girls can count on marriage with Americans of average income. The rich live in a different environment, and people of low income simply cannot afford to pay the fees and relocation of the Russian bride (unless, of course, you decide to pay for everything yourself - which I categorically do not recommend!). But in order to support yourself and your family at the level of average income, you need to work and sometimes work a lot.
3.
Americans, and not just men, everyone, love lawyers very much! Not in the sense of paying them for every sneeze, but rather using their services, even then (in my opinion) when you can do everything yourself. Example: when my husband (still a fiancé at the time) was applying for a K1 visa for me, he hired a lawyer, in 2010 it cost him $1,200. I count a lot of money for filling out those papers.
Therefore, I have taken complete control over the collection of documents and filling out forms for various status changes here in America... Well, they love and trust lawyers, here so many things can be solved by resorting to their services that some do not hesitate to go to law firms.
So, you have made the decision to marry an American
what kind of people are these Americans read? Now you can and should go through the pages of this site and read, for example, an article or.
And also, I want to write about the fact that American women are too passionate about feminism, too independent, and sometimes selfish. They are not accustomed to housekeeping, they do not know how to save money and create comfort out of nothing like we do.
Also, after listening to stories from American men about their divorces, you understand why they are looking for wives in the territory of the former Union. Many, after divorcing their American wife and hearing a story about the domesticity, tenderness, beauty and ingenuity of Russian women, go to dating sites. So let’s not disappoint them and let’s also go get acquainted….
Americans traditionally occupy one of the leading positions as possible suitors from abroad. Why? Despite the long historical confrontation, the CIS countries and America are closely connected with each other, and marriage in the USA for, for example, Ukrainian girls is not at all uncommon. American men often come to the countries of the former USSR to choose a chosen one among the local representatives of the fair sex. But what are they looking for and why are they not satisfied with American women?
What are you looking for in a distant land?
According to the results of recent studies, Americans are increasingly looking to the countries of Eastern Europe and Asia when looking for wives. This is due, first of all, to the fact that American women are becoming less and less adapted to family life. And they increasingly have no time to take care of the home, household and family in general. The typical American woman devotes more and more time to her career, education, and self-development. A man has to compensate for the lack of attention through his own efforts, and he himself suffers from this.
A foreign woman, especially from the mentioned regions, still more calmly accepts her husband’s desire to earn money, transferring the household into the reliable hands of his wife, and they marry an American much more willingly. American women are emancipated, and many of them perceive a man’s request to pay more attention to the home as an insult.
The Americans themselves also often win compared to their “competitors” from the post-Soviet space and attract girls to get married in the USA. They are considered to be more thorough and reliable. Most often this is true. On average, Americans get married later than is customary here. This is explained by the fact that a man in the States always strives to prepare the ground and form a foundation in order to then build a family on it. This means that without a solid bank account, their own home and a couple of cars, most American men won't even think about marriage. Therefore, there are often situations where an American decides to settle down by the age of 50. Of course, at that age you are not particularly likely to date, so they turn their attention to dating sites and international marriage agencies.
In the USA, in general, the standard of living is higher than in the CIS, it is easier to find a job there even at an older age - they will look at your passport less often.
What did you leave in your native land?
What awaits a girl if she decides to move to the USA and marry an American? What are the realities of their family life?
It should be noted right away that Americans love children, and sometimes even too much. Caring for them sometimes exceeds generally accepted norms, as a result of which the offspring grow up spoiled. It is mandatory to give all children at least a basic education. After school, young people, as a rule, can decide on their own whether to go to college (if so, which one) or go to work. Often the first place of work is the father's company. An ideal family, according to Americans, should have two or three children.
Celebrating holidays together plays an important role in American culture. The tradition of getting the whole family together for major holidays is unbreakable. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are certainly accompanied by a magnificent feast with a large number of people. There is a certain similarity with our holidays, but here the role of the holiday itself is much more important than the actual process of celebration.
But not just holidays. Regular family outings are also popular. This could be fishing on the shores of one of the many American lakes, or a barbecue somewhere in the forest.
What documents are needed to marry an American?
In order to officially and according to all the rules move to the States with your newly-made fiancé, get married in America, and then, in the future, obtain a green card and citizenship, you will have to go through a number of bureaucratic procedures.
The easiest way is to first get a fiancé visa, or K-1 visa. It is issued for a wedding ceremony in the USA. Those getting married need to confirm that they are adults and are not married to another person. At the immigration service, your application for the issuance of this document can take up to four months, but immediately after signature (must be completed within 90 days after arrival), you can apply for a conditional green card. The bride's children, if any, can count on the same conditions. To increase the likelihood of a positive answer, the spouse should be concerned about the size of his capital - it should be sufficient to support his wife, who does not yet have the right to work officially.
Getting a green card will be more difficult and the set of documents will be larger. Be sure to check with the consulate for details, but keep in mind that you will not only have to bring many forms (including a work permit, entry/exit permit, birth certificate with a certified translation) and undergo a paid medical examination, but also answer a number of questions during interview. So, when you get ready to get married in America, be prepared to remember the details of your first date or the design of your chosen one’s socks. This is done to check the “truth” of the marriage and weed out scammers.
After receiving a conditional green card and living on it for 2 years, you can apply for a permanent one. In addition to the standard forms, you will be asked to prove that you and your spouse have lived together all this time. Receipts and joint photographs from vacation spots will come in handy. If additional questions arise, testimony from friends, acquaintances, and neighbors may be required. If no questions arise, you will receive a green card for 10 years with the possibility of extension. And you will receive the right to apply for citizenship another 2-3 years after receiving your green card.
How it happens - a story from life
Sometimes it happens that the “American” groom becomes a resident of the CIS, who has long moved to the States and has decided to find his soulmate in his homeland. The story of Nellie and Mikhail is indicative. Left without a husband at the age of over 50, the woman decided to seek happiness abroad, and with the help of the agency’s services she found Mikhail, who, in his seventies, was also tired of loneliness. The former compatriots immediately found a common language, and after several mutual visits, they decided to get married. Having had a wedding in Ukraine and California, the happy couple now lives in Sacramento.
How and where to meet an American?
As already mentioned, Americans themselves are often interested in finding a spouse from the countries of the former Soviet Union. But they can also require at least a minimum knowledge of English from their possible chosen one. It's useful to know anyway. It’s good if you speak Spanish - many in the southern states know it very well.
The opportunity to marry an American now provides many Internet resources - any dating site or database of any more or less large marriage agency is replete with offers from US gentlemen of all stripes. However, preference should be given to the second option - this way you will definitely protect yourself from the attacks of dubious individuals or scammers.
Since registration on dating sites is free, as a rule, for everyone, no check for lice is performed. So the handsome blond man with a yacht and an apartment in Manhattan that you like may easily be not so handsome and wealthy. While marriage agencies, through their reputation, are responsible for the accuracy of the data provided by candidates.
Paradise Date Agency
There are not many truly representative and reputable marriage agencies in Ukraine. In terms of the level of service and quality of services provided, few can compare with the Kharkov Paradise Date. What's special? The security of your data is guaranteed - only verified men who really want to create a strong family get access to it.
You will receive a full range of services absolutely free of charge – from drawing up an interesting profile to professional photographs. Then you just need to be mentally prepared for new acquaintances - your profile will be viewed by many foreign men, and some of them will definitely like you.
When this happens, you will be informed and can begin preparing for the date. In many respects, its outcome will depend, of course, on you, but the agency, for its part, will do everything possible to make it unforgettable. If desired, you will be accompanied by an interpreter, and the meeting itself will take place in one of the best restaurants in Kharkov.
Every Russian has seen so many American films that sometimes this country can seem as familiar as Russia. Many people dream of moving to live in the USA, and girls dream of marrying an American. But movies are one thing, and real life is completely different. What are they, real Americans? Americans appear to us mainly as rational and practical people who strive to be masters of their own lives, and in general this seems to be true. For American men, it is very important to have a fully equipped home and a prosperous family, so they work hard and strive to constantly increase their income level.
In the USA, it is not customary to ask parents for help, so if your American friend is well-off financially, then rest assured that he earned everything himself. They take marriage, as well as life in general, very seriously and do not get married until they get on their feet and start earning enough to start a family.
How to please an American
Americans treat women from other countries very well and willingly enter into interethnic marriages. This is a unique country, entirely composed of immigrants and their descendants of various nationalities. It doesn’t matter where a person came to the USA from or for what purpose - over time, all visitors become part of the free American culture.
The consequence of such a multinational flavor is complete tolerance for everything alien, foreign. Moreover, this applies not only to nationality or religion, but also to any beliefs and cultural characteristics. The right of any person to live as he sees fit is considered sacred and inviolable here. Americans are instilled with respect for other people's opinions from childhood.
Therefore, when you first meet, whether in person or on the Internet, your new friend will always agree with you and even assent. But you shouldn’t take it at face value and think that you’re finally lucky and have met a sensitive, understanding man. Politeness is the true reason for agreeing with someone else's point of view. Politeness and reluctance to accidentally offend, especially in the early stages of dating.
In communication, Americans value spontaneity, simplicity and a sense of humor. But here it is important to take into account that the humor accepted in the USA is significantly different from ours, therefore, if you do not understand a joke, then show politeness in return - laugh at it with your American friend.
The big plus is that your past doesn’t matter to them at all. An American will be interested in him not out of jealousy, but in order to better understand you today. In fact, he doesn’t care how many affairs you had before him, so you can safely tell how many husbands you had, whether you have children and other similar points, without fear of a negative assessment.
Interestingly, despite a somewhat rational and calm attitude towards women and life in general, there are many romantics among Americans who believe in a happy family and true love with which they will be together until old age.
Americans in relationships
Another feature and great advantage of Americans is complete freedom in relationships. But not in the sense that they allow change, but in the lack of control and trust. He will never study your SMS or try to hack your social network account, or check whether you really were where you say you were.
For them, love relationships are not only romantic feelings with intimacy, but also friendship. And true friendship is impossible without trust. Jealousy in the United States is not only not typical of most men, but is also considered a sign of bad upbringing. After all, if you or someone is jealous, then there is no trust, and if there is no trust, then there is no relationship.
Americans value free and emancipated women who do not strive to be a housewife and are able to combine life and profession. Directness, honesty and openness are highly respected here and are characteristic of almost all Americans, both women and men, even in sensitive matters. If you need to go to the toilet or feel sick to your stomach, then you can say so directly without fear of negative evaluation, even if this is the first date.
When it comes to money, American men are rational, but not stingy. Emancipation is voluntary, so they can pay for a woman in a restaurant and give her gifts without any problems. But they do this not from gentlemanly and patriarchal motives, but from liberal ones. A woman is completely perceived as an equal person, so he can pay, or you can - whoever and how is more convenient in a particular couple, because first of all you are friends.
The disadvantage is that at first it will be difficult to understand when an American friend does or says something to you out of politeness, and when - sincerely. But it’s a matter of time, gradually you will learn to understand such nuances of communication well.
Also, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t offer to pay for your flight to the USA for dating - this is not out of greed. It’s just that US citizens are accustomed to a high standard of living, and the cost of air tickets is not a serious expense for them and any working person can afford it. If this is a problem for you, it is better to say it directly, and not try to lead him to a solution with hints, as is often done in Russian couples.
American family
Often the expectations of Russian brides are not met. Even if your American fiancé is quite wealthy, it will not be possible to lead an easy and luxurious life, since they believe that they need to spend what they earn. Being a housewife who lives entirely at the expense of her husband will not work in the USA.
And again, this is not due to greed. In the USA, self-realization is of great importance to every person, which is called the famous expression “American Dream”. Therefore, if a woman sits at home and does not work, this means that she has psychological problems or she is simply not good for anything, that is, she is a loser. Yes, this term in the USA is used equally for both men and women.
It is more difficult for Russian women who do not have an American education to find work, so most likely you will be employed in the service sector or trade, or help your husband in his business. Moreover, in a position and salary, with official employment, since Americans greatly respect the very concept of law and strive to do everything “by the rules.”
Even if your husband is rich, you still won’t be able to sit idle, but you will have to take up the business that he will give you. The most important thing in this case is to draw up a marriage contract correctly, which is considered the norm in the USA, otherwise after a divorce you can be left with nothing, and even in a foreign country.
But, despite such importance of personal and professional fulfillment, Americans also find time for family. They are great fathers who would never go out for a beer with friends instead of spending time with their children and family, which is very important to them.
At the same time, they are completely independent in everyday matters - if his wife is sick or is late after work, he himself will prepare dinner for himself and the children, without considering this any special act. The same applies to cleaning and all household chores in general - in the USA they are not considered a typical female responsibility, so the one who has time for this at the moment cooks, washes and cleans.
From childhood, little Americans are taught to be independent and responsible, so it is not common for men to see their wife as a kind of “mommy” who will look after him. More like an equal partner and a reliable friend. Therefore, if you are independent and purposeful, and do not dream of sitting on your husband’s neck, but have your own goals in life, then an American husband will be an excellent choice for you.
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If you are planning to marry an American, then it will be useful for you to know what expenses await you.First stage - Obtaining a K-1 fiancé visa
Such a document is issued to the future spouse of a citizen who came to this country to get married. Please note that category K status cannot be changed. If within three months from the date of entry into the state the holder of the above-mentioned status has not entered into marriage, then he is obliged to leave America.
A K-1 visa is required when the marriage could not previously take place either in the homeland of the future spouse or in the United States, or when it matters that the entry of the future spouse into the state preceded the issuance of a green card.
Please note that there are no (quantitative) quotas for this document. The petition is reviewed within four months by the Immigration and Naturalization Service. After its approval, you need to go for an interview at the US Embassy in the homeland of the person getting married. This process of issuing a document and entering the country takes about four months. As a rule, you can get a second one.
Granting a visa: preconditions
This visa is issued to an applicant if:
- he will marry no later than three months (90 days) from the date of arrival in America;
- the bride and groom are legally free to enter into a new union, that is, they are adults and are not married to another person;
- he had been dating his future spouse (fiancée) for the previous 2 years.
But the last condition can be canceled for those who, for example, profess a religion, according to the rites of which marriage is concluded according to customs, when meetings of future brides and grooms are prohibited, or the union is organized by agreement of the parents.
Children who are not married and are holders of a K-1 visa are issued another document - K-2. They have the right to enter the United States with their parents. Just like parents, children are eligible to receive a green card. K-1 and K-2 visas allow one entry within six months.
Along with visas, citizens (applicants) receive visa packages. They must be provided to US immigration authorities.
Can extradition be refused? Yes. For example, if there is a suspicion of immigration fraud or the applicant (American citizen) does not have enough finances, because the future husband must take the bride for maintenance.
Within three months (90 days) from the date of arrival in the country, you must marry the person who issued the above document for you. If you do not do this, then you need to leave the state.
What to do if you decide to enter into an alliance with another citizen? You must submit a petition to the US Immigration Center. Then you need to return home and wait there for a response from this authority.
Typically, the visa application process takes quite a long time and also requires detailed collection of documents. Therefore, some representatives apply for a different type of visa, for example, a guest or tourist visa. By the way, with them there are fewer problems with collecting all the documents. This also applies to those who met via the Internet.
But all these visas do not mean that you will stay in the country. If you do not get married upon arrival in America, you may be convicted of immigration intent. There will be big problems ahead. As a rule, in such cases, women get married after some time. In their situation, this is the solution.
Second stage - Arrival in the country and painting
So, you came to the USA, signed your name... What to do next? Your spouse and you need to fill out 2 packages of documents, then you need to send them to USCIS (local office). One package must be from an American citizen, that is, your spouse, the second - from you, as the person who is applying for a green card.
List of documents for those applying for a green card:
- G-325A – Your biography with photographs (two pieces), passport type;
- I-485 (adjustment of status);
- I-693 - medical form. It is completed by a doctor who has approved USCIS. Once you have completed all the examinations, you will be returned a sealed envelope that cannot be opened. You send this document with all the others.
- I-765 is a document that allows you to work.
- I-131 is a document that allows you to leave or enter a state. You don’t have to apply for it if you don’t intend to leave the country while you wait for an answer.
- copies of the pages of your passport, which contain biographical data and also have a photo. In addition, you need to make copies of the visa page;
- copy of birth certificate + certified translation;
- your copy of I-94 (the form is attached at the airport);
- copy of NOA2 “Approval” (received after approval of K-1 visa).
- G-325A – biography of your spouse.
- I-130 (petition for a foreign national relative). Such a document confirms that the marriage has been concluded. Here you also need to attach identification documents (confirming citizenship and identity) + a copy of the marriage certificate.
- I-864 (affidavit of support). The document confirms that your husband has enough money to support his wife. You need to attach a letter from work + copies of tax returns.
- G-325A – biography of her husband.
Please contact your immigration office for specific requirements. The waiting period for an interview depends on the number of applications in that office. The interview takes place in an institution at the place of residence.
There are cases where documents take a very long time to be verified.
If they made some mistake (they didn’t provide a translated copy, they made a mistake when filling out the form, etc.), then the documents will be returned to you so that you can correct everything or report the missing document.
Medical examination
If you conduct it in this state, you will definitely be asked for a certificate of vaccinations. It is advisable to take it with you immediately, just do not forget to translate it into English and have it certified. If you have not had any vaccinations before, then everything can be done on the spot.
The costs of a medical examination (as a rule, insurance covers them), notarization of documents, various fees, and translation are quite expensive. Of course, the amount will be different for everyone, but, as a rule, it exceeds (significantly) a thousand dollars.
After sending the documents within three weeks, the spouses receive a letter confirming their receipt. Then you receive another one, it will indicate when and where you should come. The next email will indicate the interview date.
There have been cases where letters are lost or some kind of system failure occurs. If you do not receive a response for a long time, then you need to contact USCIS. As you understand, you always need to keep the situation under control.
Third stage: interview
There are circumstances that may arouse suspicion among inspectors: different residential addresses, marriage occurs too quickly after meeting, a large age difference.
If the immigration office suspects marriage fraud, the future spouses will have to undergo separate interviews in different rooms, answering detailed questions about every everyday detail. Usually, of course, the bride and groom take part in interviews together. Please note that a lawyer may be present with you at this time.
It is important to tell the truth during an interview. For example, if you don’t remember what you gave your lover when you first met, then you don’t need to lie. Say you don't remember. Please note that the questions will be varied, ranging from the color of the wallpaper in the toilet, what you prepared for breakfast today, to questions on an intimate topic.
Of course, for those who live in a real marriage, the interview questions will not be difficult.
Stage four: obtaining a conditional green card.
Successful interview? Then you receive a conditional green card for a period of two years. The logic of the immigration service is simple - in two years you can understand whether the marriage is “true” or not. According to statistics, about 75% of marriages with subsequent receipt of this document are fictitious. The factor of the duration of the marriage is considered significant in the analysis of the veracity of the union.
Three months before your conditional green card expires, you must apply for a permanent one. They are sent to USCIS.
Required documents
- Documents that prove your life together (exactly the same as what you sent earlier, but for the last two years). This could be: printouts of joint trips, credit cards, joint bank accounts, copies of common insurance policies, hotel reservations, photos, etc. If during the period of your marriage you had a child or several children, then their certificates are also necessary.
- Form I-751.
- A copy of the conditional green card (both sides).
At the interview, you need to show that you lived together for two years, ran the household, of course, together. In addition to all documents, witness statements from neighbors and friends may be required. The procedure is already familiar to you, and you will need to pay less than the first time (about six hundred dollars). Note that you can receive a green card within the next year.
A note about getting a green card
If you cannot live with your spouse because, for example, he abuses you. What to do to get a green card? Now we'll tell you. Here are the most common cases:
- Death of an American spouse. You can get a permanent green card if your husband passes away. To do this, you need to submit a petition to remove the “condition”, attach a death certificate and documents that prove that you lived with your spouse until your last day. For example, these could be joint photographs, documents issued to you and your late husband, etc.
- divorce from an American husband. The most common scenario. If the divorce occurred before the condition was lifted, then it can still be removed if the marriage was true. In addition to the application, you need to attach documents that prove the “truthfulness” of your life together. If, when you filed the petition, your spouse began to think about divorce, then go for advice from a specialist and attach the necessary documents to the petition.
- Poor treatment. A very difficult situation, especially when the mistreatment occurs without witnesses. Evidence in this case includes medical certificates (if there are beatings), police reports, and more.
How much do you need to pay to marry a US citizen?
If it's for love, then it's practically free. You'll need to spend money on visas, tickets, and fees for a conditional and unconditional green card.
A fictitious marriage will cost you 25 thousand or more. It will not be cheaper, since if the fictitiousness of the alliance is revealed, the American will face criminal liability. Therefore you pay for the risks.
From all of the above, let's make a small conclusion. So, before going to another state, study its laws, because you should be well aware of your rights in the territory of another country. Unfortunately, a lot of girls are subjected to violence. Don’t be afraid, don’t tolerate that you will be sent to your homeland, contact a special service, they will definitely help you, and also tell you what is best to do in your situation. As you understand, there is always a way out. Before you decide to get married and move to another country, be sure to weigh the pros and cons. Good luck, happiness and love!
The story of Ksenia from Siberia is worthy of a multi-season series. A failed marriage in her homeland and a new love story in the USA - from her own experience, the girl shows her compatriots that if you are not afraid of difficulties and boldly go towards your goal, then in everyone’s life there will definitely be a meeting with a prince and a happy ending. An SHE correspondent spoke with the blogger.
Ksenia's past
In Novosibirsk, the girl was a real estate agent and never dreamed of moving to the States. But it so happened that, having studied to become a process engineer, Ksenia did not even have time to work in her specialty, since she moved to the USA at the age of 22. The American life of a Siberian woman began with a simple visit to a friend.
Immigration
The most difficult thing for Ksenia during the emigration process was overcoming her fear.
« We don’t take any steps simply because we are afraid, we don’t have enough information. Sometimes you gave up, but you couldn’t relax, because in America you have to pay for everything. For the apartment, for gas, for electricity, taxes. I had to act all the time».
Russian and American men
The girl notices that Russian and American men have significant differences in mentality. Americans know how to treat a woman as the fairer sex, to love unselfishly, without expecting in return that his lady will happily start washing socks and ironing shirts. But Russian men expect exactly this from a woman. There is a strong stereotype in the minds of Russians that a woman must shoulder work, life, children, and sometimes even her husband. Americans prefer to let hired workers do housework. If opportunities do not allow using the services of a housekeeper, then an American man, even in this case, will not put all the housework on fragile female shoulders.
Career in New York
Ksenia decided to study as a psychologist in New York. Many dissuaded her, arguing that it was very difficult and she needed to be fluent in English. But the stubborn Siberian woman made her conscious choice and did not regret it. After all, this was the first step towards starting my own business. First there was work in a clinic, then practice in a hospital, and I even had to work with alcohol-dependent patients. At the same time, Ksenia kept her blog, conducted consultations, and over time noticed that her fledgling private practice was bearing fruit. The girl charges $90 for a personal consultation.
« Half of my clients are girls from Russia, mostly Moscow, the other half are people living in New York and America. The main request is relationships, the second most popular is the purpose and realization of oneself in a career».
Family
Ksenia says that she always dreamed of exactly the kind of family she found in the States. Here the girl does not have the feeling that she owes anyone anything; her husband never burdens her with housework. Ksenia is also very impressed by the high level of organization of her American husband. The couple always plans their vacation in advance; the husband took out insurance just in case, so that Ksenia and the child would not need anything if something happened. And unlike many Russian girls, our heroine has nothing against marriage contracts.
Changes in Novosibirsk
Ksenia has not been to her hometown for five whole years, but during such an impressive period the girl did not notice virtually any significant changes.
« I love Novosibirsk, and for me it will remain my hometown, but in contrast with America, the grayness and some kind of internal discontent catches my eye - this has always been the case, I just started to notice it now. There are not enough smiles, as there are enough of them in the USA».
Loneliness and depression
New York is a city of careerists. But while constantly earning money, people don’t notice how they are becoming more and more lonely. Americans are famous for their smiles, but few people know that behind their dazzling smiles lies despondency and depression. Ksenia, as a psychologist, knows this firsthand, because sometimes people just need to speak out and be heard. In Russia, the help of a psychologist is not as widely used as in America. Russian women usually go to a friend with a bottle of wine, and some even like to turn to alternative medicine and pseudo-psychics for help.
Ksenia advises women who dream of a successful, cloudless life:
« We need to develop and not stand still. The biggest mistake women make is that they expect that same male wizard to come and make their life a fairy tale. You need to constantly invest in yourself and your development - and then the right man will appear on his own».
Russian and American fashion
The contrast between Russian women and American women is immediately striking. In America, they prefer simple and comfortable clothes, while in Russia women are able to put on makeup for several hours just to take out the trash. Even immigrant women in America are immediately visible in the crowd by their well-groomed and elegant appearance. According to Ksenia, if you want to find an American man, then it is better to do this in the outback; in New York there are many Russian immigrants who please the eyes of Americans, but in a small town you can play in contrast with the locals.
A large number of girls and women ask for advice on how to marry a foreigner. The very first thing Ksenia advises them is to treat the search for a future spouse as their job.
You can register on a dating site, as the heroine’s sister did. But you need to be very careful not to run into Internet perverts. Fill out the form carefully, don’t flaunt all your charms and talents - Americans like things to be a little simpler. Be kind, sincere and open.
Don’t be afraid to take the initiative, because there is nothing shameful in being the first to start a dialogue.
« Before going on a date, it’s better to call on Skype, see if his manner of behavior/talk repels you, and only after that can you make an appointment. My sister, for example, went on dates for 4 months, during which time she had 3 official proposals for marriage - good, wealthy men. Then she could not choose from two men - a psychologist and a policeman, in the end she chose the man who communicated better with her child, it was a policeman. Now they are preparing for the wedding».
