Ecology of life. People: On the Internet you can find a million and more texts about “Russian” wives abroad - the readers and authors of these articles love to exaggerate all the subtleties and differences between “our” women and foreigners. But I have always been interested in the topic of men – “ours” and those with whom we go abroad.
Relationships in an international couple are very often like a litmus test: people from the same country could never make such interesting discoveries about each other as those two who were born and raised in completely different cultural and social environments.
On the Internet you can find a million and more texts about “Russian” wives abroad - the readers and authors of these articles love to exaggerate all the subtleties and differences between “our” women and foreigners. But I have always been interested in the topic of men – “ours” and those with whom we go abroad.
What exactly are they bribing us with? What do they have that great hometown guys don't have? home country? After all, when it comes to Slavic women, it’s easy to immediately draw a picture in your head of how economical and caring we are, which is not surprising, since we were raised in a patriarchal society.
It is for these virtues that Europeans love us, living side by side with independent, emancipated women. But when you start talking about French men, nothing but clichés comes to mind: wine-savvy, romantic, wonderful lovers, flighty, fickle, stingy, arrogant. How much of this is true? And what are they like in their relationships with us - not French women at all?
I became interested just enough that I asked 50 women from Ukraine, Russia and Belarus who dated/were married to Frenchmen about it. The age range of respondents was from 22 to 57 years. Everyone is very different, which is immediately felt by the answers to the 10 questions I compiled. Today I am publishing the first 5.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS A WOMAN THAT IS IMMEDIATELY NOTICEABLE?
It was no coincidence that I asked this question first, because it brings out the most emotional moments that lie on the surface. And my expectations were justified: 90% of the answers boiled down to the fact that The French perceive a woman, first of all, as an equal partner in a relationship, and not as the mistress of the house. Specifically, the word “equality” was mentioned in every second answer. A woman is perceived as an individual, they respect her, strive to make her happy, take care of her, without praising her like a princess or worshiping her.
But in some of the answers there was also bitterness about this very issue: that there is no pronounced gender attitude that we are used to at home, where women are given flowers on March 8th, let go ahead and at the same time every day they expect a hot dinner, a tidy house, ironed shirts and so on.
The French, as it turned out, do not have this consumer attitude towards their partner - she is not a laundress, not a cook, and raising children is also not part of some purely “female” responsibilities. The French are accustomed to dividing all of the above into two.
A double-edged sword and a certain everyday pun: in our homeland we don’t like that all household responsibilities are assigned to us by default, but when we marry a foreigner, we voluntarily take on something that no one forces us to do.
WHO PAYS THE BILL AT THE RESTAURANT?
I don’t know why everyone is so interested in this, but it’s very popular question, when it comes to French boyfriends. In fact, from the very beginning of meeting my boyfriend, I have been constantly haunted by some legend about the stinginess of the French, which has not yet justified itself. After four years of relationship, I am inclined to think that the European habit of buying less is often mistaken for stinginess. So, about restaurants.
In addition, some girls quite directly expressed that they do not understand at all when something happens differently. At the same time, the French do not like it when a woman takes it for granted that he pays for everything - returning to issues of equality, this is more than logical.
All other answers to the question say “50/50”, “we pay in turns” or “the one who invites pays”. I specifically do not share the answers of those who are married or simply dating a Frenchman - in both cases the situation is approximately the same. I personally really liked the remark that some added to the answer: they say that the French are pleased if sometimes a woman pays the bill - they perceive this as a sign of attentiveness and love. And I fully support them in this.
DO THE FRENCH GIVE FLOWERS?
Another level of eternal disputes, and more often - simply complaints from our women that Europeans do not give them as gifts. There is a dual impression here: on the one hand, there is a culture of magnificent flower shops, of which there are a great many everywhere in France, the sale of fresh flowers in food markets, in supermarkets, and the obvious demand for the product itself.
On the other hand, there are a lot of stories about how the French don’t give flowers. Only six women out of fifty respondents said that their men give flowers often, without reason and without reminders. The rest of the answers boiled down to either the concrete “never” or “only if you hint.” And a separate category “we managed to get used to the bouquet on March 8th.”
The fact is that the French (both men and women) very often buy flowers for home just like that. Not as a gift, not for special occasion, but just to decorate the house. They are taken in armfuls at the market - along with fresh vegetables, meat and cheese. They don’t make events out of bouquets here, as we are used to.
That's why they don't give it any importance. And that’s why our women are so attracted to it. This is an addition to European equality, when you can quite safely buy flowers not even for yourself, but at home on an ordinary weekday - to please everyone who lives there. In our country, for now, the bouquet is assigned the role of a festive attribute and a sign of attention specifically to the woman.
HOW DEMANDING ARE THE FRENCH ABOUT APPEARANCE?
We all know that French women are often said to be not beautiful, but stylish and with charm. And about the Slavs - what are they? beautiful women in the world. And it’s not even the natural beauty itself that is amazing, but the amount of effort (money and time) we put into our appearance.
Which, again, is rooted in a patriarchal society, where everything revolves around a man - his choice, evaluation and approval. French women are much more freedom-loving and independent in this regard - they put their own interests above. What do French men value more in this state of affairs? Exterior or internal content?
Many women in their answers emphasized that the French are much less demanding in matters of beauty and grooming than their compatriots (already spoiled, it must be admitted). Of course, there are no fools - anyone is pleased when a woman next to her takes care of herself and knows how to highlight the best in her appearance, but this is perceived only as a pleasant addition to character and education.
But here the French have quite high standards: they love to talk about art, politics, literature, music - their companion should be able to carry on a conversation on any of these topics. Women's intelligence, erudition, and broad outlook delight them. But too bright makeup and overly revealing outfits are more likely to scare them away - charisma and non-flashy sexuality attract them much more.
I especially liked the comment of one of the respondents: “Be a better version of yourself,” that’s what a Frenchman wants from a woman. At the same time, men who take care of themselves expect the same from their partner. Unfortunately, for us this trend works exactly the opposite: no matter how good our woman looks, this will not guarantee that our man next to her will strive to look up to par.
SLAVYANKI VS. FRENCH WOMEN – WHOSE BENEFIT IS THE COMPARISON?
No matter how much women flirt and dissemble, in an international couple, partners always draw parallels and compare (at least mentally) their halves: we involuntarily put the French in a row with our ex-boyfriends who remained in their homeland, and our French notice the difference between us and their former or hypothetical passions.
Personally, I was a little upset by the answers to this question. Not even the answers themselves, but the fact that our greatest advantage in the eyes of the French is thriftiness and the desire to please a man. They call French women cold, self-centered, too demanding, pretentious, too independent and emancipated (it’s interesting how quickly men got tired of emancipation if French women were only allowed to vote in 1944).
Slavic women look like angels against their background - gentle, attentive, caring, masterfully lead their everyday life, cook, dress up and try for a man, put on family values at the forefront and (to quote one of the respondents) “satisfied with little.”
I often notice that Slavic women seem to feel sorry for the “poor, unfortunate French” who are tired of all these independent feminists. And the survey confirmed this impression. While European women are fighting for equal rights, our women continue to cultivate the dominant role of men.
In a certain sense, this slows down the development of civilization. And there is nothing surprising in the fact that a Frenchman, “tired of emancipation,” choosing between two women, will choose the one who not only has a rich inner world, but also culinary abilities, a perfect manicure and hairstyle, and a willingness to give in.
And everything would be fine, but this also has a small fly in the ointment for us: unlike French women who strive to emphasize individuality in appearance, Slavic women follow the standards - high heels, long hair, red lipstick and so on. And this catches the eye of local men. That is, it turns out that we are somehow even too good for them.
While I was processing fifty answers to my questions, many vivid dialogues took place between me and my Frenchman, who also has something to compare with. It will be all the more interesting to publish the second part of this material, in which 50 women answered questions about their men’s attitude to sex on the first date, whether it’s true that the French are flighty and fickle, and something else. To be continued! published
Melodic language, airy croissants and a caring and imposing man nearby - it looks like a fairy tale, doesn’t it?
Getting acquainted with any nationality is now easier than ever. The seduction instructions are already ready. French men are truly different from the rest.
And if you know the elementary male psychology, you will be able to fall in love with a romantic Frenchman not only on the first date, but also build a happy and long-term relationship with him.
Eat 4 key rules that will help you win your heart. If you know any other nuances, write in the comments.
Be open
French men are no different; when it comes to talking, they look for it everywhere, everywhere.
But they are looking not just for a girl who will admire everyone (including him), but also for a friend, an ally, because intimate conversations are in their blood.
A typical Frenchman loves long conversations under the moon, but unlike, for example, he is more restrained in expressing his feelings. The best date you can offer a Frenchman is a night out, a cozy cafe and a glass of wine.
Your sincerity and openness are the main trump cards for a Frenchman. The girl of his dreams is sociable and cheerful. If you are like that, you will definitely be able to interest him.
By the way, about interests - French called one of the most seductive in the world, so don’t be shy to hone your skills.
Even if you speak with an accent, the French will take it as a nice twist and simply tell you what’s best.
The Frenchman himself can be extremely reserved in conversation, but, believe me, he himself will almost listen to you. Favorite topics for communication: art, cinema and of course France.
The Frenchman has another distinctive feature - art de vivre (art of living) - communicate, enjoy, seize the moment. This is a sacred rule for the French.
She won't get married
I’ll disappoint you: if your main desire is, and you think that your problems will be magically solved, you are mistaken.
French men love freedom and get married at 35, 40, or even 45 years old. And in general: most of them thinkmarriage is just a formality.
But civil marriage, is not only accepted, but also welcomed.It's time to grow up and not believe that a wedding is not a guarantee of happiness, not a guarantee material well-being and not even the secret of a happy relationship.
A wedding is beautiful and fun, but nothing more than a tribute family traditions, for the French it is not so important.
If you are French, he will provide and help, take initiative, introduce you to relatives and friends.
Romantics from the high road
Songs and legends are written about the romanticism of the French. Why, many people even start learning French because they consider it the most romantic language, the language of love.
Almost all girls love romance and this is what men sometimes lack. The French are professionals in making advances and flirting - even involuntarily they make you fall in love and charm.
Therefore, you are more likely to surrender to him yourself before you win his heart yourself.
Walking around the city at night, running away for a weekend together, having sex on the roof of a house - this is all about the French.
Get ready for the romance to make you weak at the knees. The Frenchman expects the same from you: cute notes on the refrigerator will melt your heart. And any man will be pleased.
But be careful - remember that your Frenchman is, first of all, a man, and he wants to feel like he’s in charge, leading, guiding in the relationship.
Therefore I will say this:your initiative, which you will show sometimes, is very welcome. As in the spontaneous proposal to rush to Brittany for the weekend, so in sex.
Greeted by clothes
If you met a Frenchman and he hasn’t seen you anywhere other than Skype, don’t overdo it.
These men, especially Parisians, have an amazingly subtle artistic taste, a love of fashion and aesthetics. But only they manage to look truly stylish, with minimal effort.
If you want to win a Frenchman, then your only task is to see him as a worthy man and interact with him correctly.
Ksenia Litvin,
psychologist Growth Phase.
How to meet a foreigner? English, German, American, French, Norwegian, Asian / Contrary to myths, it is possible! How to meet a foreigner? English women
What they say about them: Chekhov, in his story “Albion’s Daughter,” called the English governess “a long nail,” “a kikimora,” etc. In this two-century-old stereotype, the whole world is not far behind us—the Americans several years ago gave Englishwomen “honorary” second place in the list of the ugliest women in Europe. Residents of England are called dry, prim, mired in feminism. They don't know which side to take mascara from, what charm is, don't care about overweight and the presence of a man nearby. But with an Englishwoman you can drink an extra glass of beer in a pub.
What it really is: British women aged 16–22 tend to have great skin beautiful hair, good figure.
Having married, an Englishwoman becomes a faithful, polite, attentive wife, with whom not only meaningful conversations over a cup of tea are pleasant, but also all kinds of travel.
How to meet someone: an English woman will appreciate an entertaining conversation - in the same pub. The main thing is to be a gentleman. The final chord will be accompanying a friend home or calling and paying (!) for a taxi - if she allows it. The next day, you can send an SMS, an e-mail, or just a short note about your excitement about the meeting.
You can easily strike up a conversation with young ladies in London nightclubs at the bar, and then... and then - depending on your luck.
Germans
What it really is: among German women there are pretty blond princesses with blue eyes who are waiting for their princes.
What they say about them: German women are right behind English women in terms of attractiveness. Unsexy and unemotional. They don’t know how to dress and don’t take care of themselves.
They wear terrible shoes. All the beautiful ones were burned at the stake during the Inquisition.
What it really is: among German women there are pretty blond princesses with blue eyes who are waiting for their princes. German women do not overuse makeup; they often use only colorless lip gloss. The girls here have beautiful skin, white teeth, beautiful hair. The priority of these women is education, development; man - how will it turn out. Once married, they like to lead and keep everything under control.
How to meet: via the Internet. During long conversations about everything in the world, you can often let your own imagination run wild, showing your high level of intelligence and thereby conquering the German woman.
American women
Girls raised on American farms will give any compatriot a head start in economics and caring.
What they say about them: they eat fast food, their plumpness can be “envyed” by curvaceous women from other countries. The beautiful ones that remain are filmed in Hollywood. Very self-confident, calculating and ambitious.
What it really is: the United States is a multinational power, and here it is difficult to determine who is Native American and who is not. Contrary to popular belief, many residents of the States (usually from the outback) become wonderful (!) wives, and girls raised on American farms will give any compatriot a head start in thriftiness and caring. Stylish and elegant young ladies walk along the streets of New York. Almost all American women know exactly what (and who!) they want.
How to meet someone: at a disco, in a restaurant, in a cinema, at an exhibition, etc. It is better to wait until an American woman notices you and approaches you, otherwise they may be labeled as sexually harassing you and expelled from the country.
P.S. American women easily meet themselves.
Italians, Spanish, Greek, Latinos
Emotional. No complexes. They look good, tanned, well-groomed, but if you offend them, they can take a knife to the throat.
What they say about them: skilled dancers. Incendiary rhythms are carried with you to bed. Emotional. No complexes. They look good, tanned, well-groomed, but if you offend them, they can take a knife to the throat.
What it really is: in these countries there has been a cult of the family for a long time, and divorced couples are still called familia moderna (modern family) here. Girls dream of luxurious weddings, and after marriage they become economical wives with skillful culinary skills - they are taught this way from the cradle. Noisy - even in bed; they know their worth.
How to meet people: they say about the men of these countries that they are good lovers, because they have practiced for a long time on their compatriots - southern women are romantic and love with their ears. It is very possible to meet people on the street here. Just come up and say: “Hi! How are you?" The advantage is on the side of those who look good and smell good.
French women
What they say about them: an example of style, charm, bearers of the latest fashion trends, well-groomed, elegant, intelligent...
What it really is: they know how to present themselves, it seems that this is a science that they absorbed with their mother’s milk. That's why French women sometimes get away with not having the best appearance, being too thin and not wearing makeup. Often their hairstyle and manner of dressing can be defined by the word “mess”. But this is precisely their charm, because the disorder is thoughtful.
How to meet people: French women are prudent and careful. Tired of their overly cutesy men, they yearn for a real and strong shoulder...
The preferred way to meet people is at public events, where you can start a conversation by offering the girl chocolate, a jar of lemonade, or even a bottle of champagne! A good and proven way to meet people is the site amour.fr.
Norwegian-Swedish-Danish
Residents of Norway are often melancholic, slow, but not devoid of romance.
What they say about them: blue-eyed and blond-haired Swedes are one of the most beautiful girls peace. Many models came out of them. Norwegian women are often awkward and roughly built, while Danish women evoke associations with agriculture. It is as difficult to squeeze feminism out of Scandinavian women as to teach a foreigner to pronounce the letter “s”.
What it really is: Danish women are very beautiful until they are 19–20 years old, they use cosmetics and take care of themselves. Then many get fat, get married, and neglect themselves.
Sweden is called the golden mean of Scandinavia, usually referring to the girls! Residents of Norway are often melancholic, slow, but not devoid of romance. They don't want to get married. All Scandinavians welcome feminism and feeling self-esteem, but at the same time simple-minded and honest.
How to meet: create the complete opposite of Scandinavian boring, uncreative, monotonous men, that is, shine with a sense of humor, positive energy and erudition. Become the sun for her that she misses so much. You can start on the Internet in search of hobby friends on international forums, in Slavic clubs at the university, or in a disco bar. It is wise to wait until the dance floor closes: having reached a certain condition (and they achieve it one hundred percent!), some foreigner will definitely show signs of attention. Smile back, and don’t forget – politeness, gentle politeness! For persistence (here – “sexual harassment”) the authorities punish strictly. And not only you – but her too! And remember the commandment: NEVER speak admiringly of Swedish women in the presence of Norwegian women and vice versa!
Asian
Don’t give up, you can melt the heart of an oriental beauty!
What they say about them: Asian women have no equal in the art of love. In addition, they create incredible culinary masterpieces.
What it really is: in Asian countries, a woman is not valued as an equal member of society, so slanted mistresses will idolize a man who will let them know that she is special, unique and the only one. And the chosen one, in turn, will do everything to make her man feel happy, loved and well-groomed. Asian women have a deep philosophy of life and, as a rule, make wonderful friends.
How to meet: travel, trips. Serious Asian women will not exchange for easy connections, so initially she needs to clearly outline her intentions. Many women, for example, in Thailand, thinking that they are perceived only as a sexual commodity, may at first seem unsociable. Don’t give up, you can melt the heart of an oriental beauty!
As soon as I left the “green corridor” of Domodedovo, Motherland greeted me with such dear, such touching words: “What beautiful tits!”
One of the taxi drivers greeted me so warmly, in a homely way, after sticking his nose into my neckline. Didn't push it rudely. Childish. With sincere admiration.
“Well, here I am at home,” I thought.
Photo: Getty Images
Anywhere in America such behavior would be completely impossible. For a man trying to sell his services to a woman to simultaneously compliment her breasts? Unthinkable!
Americans stopped harassing women half a century ago, having concluded a new social contract among themselves: openly flirting with women and staring at them is unacceptable.
American advances are more friendly than sexual. When dating them, a woman does not feel like meat. An American will look you in the eyes, not in your neckline, and talk about general topics, and not about how sexy you are.
We, in Russia, have a different social contract: a man will suck you with a lustful gaze and allow himself to make ambiguous statements about you, but only on the condition that you are alone. If a husband or boyfriend is looming nearby, our boys will not interfere. When a woman is busy, they understand this in a purely masculine way and respect the right of another male to her.
In France they will stare at you without taking their eyes off, regardless of whether you are walking alone or with a man. They won’t say a word, but they will look and shit on your boyfriend. They won't climb.
All the men there need is to admire a sexy woman. And even if you are walking alone, they will most likely limit themselves to looking after you. In order to meet a woman, a Frenchman needs a go-ahead from her: an invitation with a look, a smile.
Unlike the French, neither the Americans nor the Russians need such a go-ahead. An American will approach you even if you are not looking at him. It will come up and rub in something neutral-friendly. A Russian will knock you down only if you are without a man. And you will have to make a lot of effort to get rid of him.
Neither Germans nor Austrians stare at women. Their glances are discrete: he looked and immediately looked away, glanced furtively and again stared at his coffee. These guys, like the French, require a special invitation to meet you. Smile at him and he will come over.
Spaniards, forgive the stereotype, are hot, but they don’t stare at a woman for a long time, they don’t study her. Did you like it? The Spaniard will immediately rush down, afraid of losing his prey. He may come to the first date with a gift in an attempt to stake you out.
A Jew will not allow himself anything frivolous, but if he likes you, he will approach you anywhere at any time. For example, at an intersection while you are crossing the road. This happened to me every day when I went to the beach in Tel Aviv. Did you send me off? It's OK. The Jew will leave without any problems. He will not impose himself or follow you around.
The closest to ours are the Italians: they stare and talk all sorts of frivolous nonsense. And even if you go with a man, they are unlikely to resist complimenting you. True, they are addressing it not to you, but to your man: “Oh, what a smart woman you have, dude! Keep it up!"
Girls, tell us about your experience of dating men from different countries. How do you meet someone?
Guys, how do you meet the women you like?
Our marriage agency is me and my husband Pierre. I am a Belarusian, programmer, got married in 2003. In my country, loneliness awaited me, and this did not suit me at all... We met on the Internet - I registered with various French marriage agencies and searched on French dating sites for two years until I really found “my” man. Maybe I'm lucky. But most likely, if you know exactly what you want, and how to achieve it, and go towards your goal, then marrying a Frenchman is real, I’m sure!
Pierre deals with organizational, financial issues, correspondence with the French. I am developing the site, accepting questionnaires, answering questions by e-mail and by phone. We invite Russian women to our marriage agency - beautiful, but lonely - who want to get married in France. (But not adventurers who just want to travel at the expense of a romantic Frenchman in love! The data will be checked against the “black list”). Our agency is only for serious relationships, the goal of which is to create a family!
French men treat age wisely and know how to appreciate a Woman. The French women are great, they taught me - they know their worth! And our women - smart and beautiful - often resign themselves to loneliness, believing that time is lost and there is nothing else left... Moreover, men often say to them: “Who needs you anymore?” ... and she begins to believe in it herself - and this is the saddest thing... France is a country of love, and there are a lot of single French men! Try your luck, my dears, because you deserve it!!!
How to meet a French person? How to marry a Frenchman? I invite you to read my advice and thoughts on the topic.
