Hello dear readers. Today we will answer the question of why a man does not propose to his chosen one. You will find out what factors influence the fact that a young man delays getting married. You will know how a girl should behave in such a situation, what to do to push a guy to take a responsible step.
Why does a man postpone his wedding?
In fact, there may be many factors why a man will delay marriage. We will look at the main ones.
- Intimophobia. Many guys can suffer from such fear, which most often develops under the influence of being raised by a single mother, in particular, an unbalanced and nervous one. A mature man does not risk getting married, because he is afraid that his family will have constant hysterics, scandals and complaints, and inappropriate statements. He will be afraid of close relationships.
- Preference for civil marriage. It is believed that a man feels much better while he is in a civil marriage. He has better mental health. He does not understand that for a woman such relationships do not give confidence in the future; there is no desire to have children from a man who, in fact, is a nobody.
- Unpreparedness for responsibility. A guy may be frightened by the need to provide, protect, be responsible for his family, for his child.
- Financial instability. A guy delays getting married when he didn’t manage to achieve a high goal, didn’t manage to earn enough money, didn’t buy an apartment. He is stressed by the fact that there is no property yet, in fact, there is nowhere to live. In such a situation, a man can honestly admit the reasons for his reluctance to start a family at the moment. As soon as he is able to complete all the tasks set for himself, he will definitely propose marriage.
- I didn't have time to walk around. The man knows that he is not ready to sit still. He dreams of new victories and does not want to stop at one woman.
- Bachelor. Such a person is in no hurry to connect his life with a girl. The ability to make decisions independently and not depend on anyone is very important to him. He will get married, but only if he meets true, crazy love.
- The view that marriage cannot be anything good. It develops especially persistently in those who do not have familiar examples of a happy family. This guy is convinced that married men are unhappy, and single men are happy.
- Need for freedom. A young man may delay legalizing a relationship because he does not want to part with his personal space, with the opportunity to do as he sees fit. No matter how dear the girl is to him, no matter how much he would not like to spend time with her, a strong fear that life will change dramatically, he will no longer be able to meet with friends, attend cool events, go to a nightclub, prevents him from taking this step . However, fear of loss of freedom should not be confused with fear of change or fear of responsibility.
- If a man does not dare to propose, it is possible that he is simply not yet ready for family life, and does not want to make a mistake so that his beloved does not suffer later.
- Does he love? If a guy doesn’t propose for 4 years, the question arises: perhaps he just doesn’t love his chosen one. A man may doubt whether she is truly his destiny. Perhaps he is afraid that after marriage a girl will appear in his life whom he can truly love. In such a situation, it is unlikely that he will honestly admit the reason for his reluctance to get married.
- The guy may worry that he won't be able to become a good father. This especially frightens children who have not yet had experience communicating with small children. It's not always the case that a woman is aware of her boyfriend's doubts.
- The same rake. This is a separate case when a man who has already been married does not dare to propose, and the previous union was not successful for him. He may be afraid that this time everything will not go as he would like; it is much more difficult for him to decide to take such a step again. It is very difficult for a woman to find herself next to such a guy. On the one hand, she will try to dissuade a man from his fears and concerns, she will prove that she is not like that. On the other hand, she will be very upset that she is constantly being compared. A woman should be patient, not put pressure on her partner, and not force events. Over time, he himself will understand that the current chosen one is very different from his ex.
A girl should be wary if a young man asks her to marry too quickly. Most likely, there is no real love here.
What can force you to get married?
There are two main factors that constitute forced reasons for getting married.
- Great love. When a girl appears in a guy’s life and he just blows his mind away and he can’t live a day without her, he happily goes down the aisle.
- The realization comes that the time has come to get married and have children. Especially if a man succumbs to the influence of others or is too impressionable. Conversations from family and friends about the need to start a family will add fuel to the fire.
- Union by flight. A man is ready to marry if a girl is carrying his child.
Some guys are content with a civil marriage and do not see the need to formalize the relationship. They believe that nothing will change, only a stamp will appear in the passport.
How to help a man make a decision
- Try to have a heart-to-heart talk. Perhaps the guy has no idea about your needs and desires. It is possible that he himself dreams of a wedding, but does not dare to tell you, because he thinks that you are not ready yet, since you are still silent about it.
- Make friends with someone from his relatives, especially with the person who is interested in starting a family with your chosen one. Show that you are an excellent housewife and can take care of him. Over time, the relative will begin to tell your partner that next to him is the ideal woman whom he must marry.
- You can provoke a guy into action. He must understand that he can lose you. A man is in no hurry to legitimize a relationship when they believe that his chosen one is not going anywhere. If you demonstrate to him that he is deeply mistaken, he will begin to worry about this. It is important that the guy understands that you are in great demand and do not focus only on him. Let him see how they show you signs of attention or someone calls. Be sure to continue to dress attractively, wear high heels, do your hair, and go for a walk without your chosen one. Let him worry.
- You can hint using humor. For example, saying that after what you have experienced together, you should definitely get married.
The 21st century is a century of impermanence, open relationships, lack of obligations. And the most pressing and pressing topic among girls is “When will he propose to me?”
There really is nothing worse than being in a dead relationship that has been dragging on for a long time and will lead nowhere.
It turns out that there are men with such characters and distinctive features who can date for 20 years and never propose. Some people are happy with this course of things, but others definitely want to get married.
And, if you want a relationship that will lead to marriage, then you need to understand your man whether he is ready for a serious relationship.
How to do this? The following 10 signs that a man will never propose will help.
10 signs your man will never propose to you
Negative thoughts about marriage
Once you start dating a guy, you need to know his thoughts about marriage. Meanwhile, while you are dreaming of a dazzling and sparkling wedding, a ring on your finger, the best romantic proposal ever made and a beautiful wedding dress, he may hate the very idea of marriage.
How can you find out about this?
First of all, what are his thoughts about marriage? Does he like to go to weddings?
Does he talk about marriage as the end of life and wonder why people even get married?
To find out, you need to listen to his thoughts on the institution of marriage. Does he have any phobias related to marriage, perhaps he believes that all marriages lead to divorce.
It's not permanent
This is another indication that he does not have a wedding in his immediate plans.
When you notice that the guy you are dating on some days is very attentive, very romantic, shows you his affection, for example, by buying you flowers or inviting you on a romantic date, and on other days he is just a brute and does not call you much days without any particular reason or explanation, then perhaps it is because he is indecisive and does not know what he wants from you.
You are not close to his friends and/or family
Dating a secretive guy who hasn't introduced you to his friends or family yet? This is a big sign that your boyfriend will never propose to you.
Dear girls, the truth is that he may be married, and you are just a mistress.
Sure, you've met them a couple of times, but if he's considering you as a potential wife, he'll make sure his parents get to know you better than just some girl he's dating.
A very big sign that he will propose to you is when he makes sure that his family knows you and accepts you as a part of life as much as him.
Short term plans
Another sign for girls with serious intentions who are waiting for a proposal from their lover. The moment you think about your plans for the next week, you notice how your man becomes very happy, but as soon as the topic of going on vacation together next year comes up, he immediately begins to stutter, then gasps and mutters something like, “Let's think about it.” this is closer to the point.”
If he sees you as part of his future, he has no qualms about making plans or at least thinking about them. Ladies should be aware that if a man becomes very confused and stressed when you try to make plans, then this may be a sign that he doesn't really see you in his future.
All talk and no action
Some girls may unconsciously date guys who avoid talking about marriage, but what can be said about those men who love to talk about marriage, but also do not propose marriage?
Yes, indeed, there are such men, they can seriously discuss the wedding, you will tell him what you think about it, and he, in turn, seems to passionately want to think about the future with you, but that’s where it all ends.
And nothing further happens. If after a serious conversation with your boyfriend about the wedding, he is happy and excited, but at the same time he:
1. Doesn't buy a ring
2. Doesn't propose to you
3. When you bring up this topic, he finds 1000 excuses and reasons.
Dear girls, you need to think about this seriously. As long as his excuses are similar to the real reasons preventing him from getting married, there is a chance that he is simply stalling until he is pushed to the wall and forced to make a decision.
Already a wife
Very often, psychologists warn girls who dream of a wedding to never perform marital duties for their men. Don't be a wife until he puts a ring on your ring finger and you get married.
This is one of the main reasons why you can find relationships lasting 10 years and suddenly breaking down. If you were together for how long in a civil marriage, that is, you lived together, had sex, had a common budget, why would he marry you again?
You fulfill all the marital duties that he only dreamed of. He is happy with everything and simply sees no reason to propose. The saying fits this case: “Why buy a cow if you have free milk?”
Of course, there is no specific relationship length after which couples should decide to get married or just start talking about it.
But according to relationship experts, 1.5-2 years is enough to make a decision. If you have been dating your boyfriend for about 3 years, but the relationship is not developing, then there is a high probability that this is not your other half.
He lives in the past
Some young people cannot part with their past and continue living. Girls should avoid them. Does your boyfriend often talk about his past or previous relationships?
Cases from the past, comparisons, whatever – it doesn’t matter. If your boyfriend is reminiscing about his "best years" in college or something in the past that he can't get over and get out of his head, this is a sign that he is unable to live in the present and an indicator of his unwillingness to begin a new phase in his life. life.
If you notice that your boyfriend is not living in the present, then this actually means that he does not appreciate having you around and is not worried about your future.
Financial instability
Another sign that a man won't propose to you anytime soon.
Stability means a lot to a man. That is why many men who are under 40 years old are not yet married. While talking about marriage, they start talking about investments, work, money, etc. Men want to be sure that they can take care of you after marriage.
Single friends
“Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.” A good confirmation of this proverb. Guys with single friends will have a hard time imagining married life.
If a man is always among happy bachelors, do you think he will want to change his life?
If all his friends are bachelors, he most likely will not want to change his lifestyle.
But to be fair, this is not about all guys.
He is bad at solving problems
If your boyfriend is not very good at solving problems and often prefers to run away from them, then he may not want to get married. You may have noticed that even the idea of discussing the wedding scares him.
Do you really believe that a man is calm and collected while kneeling in front of you with a wedding ring? A girl can afford fireworks of emotions at the moment of marriage proposal, and your beloved will most likely be restrained. But behind the ostentatious calm, a hurricane of anxious thoughts, fears and doubts is raging.
1. Will she say yes?
Perhaps the romantic relationship has been going on for a couple of years, and you have missed hints several times about something more serious. The heart of a loving man is always tormented by doubt whether the chosen one will say “yes”. Some more, others less.
2. What if she refuses?
Tormented by possible rejection, your lover may already be planning an escape strategy: What's next? How to continue the relationship? How to finally leave the room? Perhaps he is already looking for the door and is preparing to disappear. Some men are thinking about more radical ways - packing their bags and leaving the city.
3. Hope she likes the ring!
Even if Romeo has become well acquainted with your tastes in jewelry, the tension reaches its peak at the moment of marriage proposal. Many brides will never guess that their boyfriend stuttered from excitement because of the ring.
4. Where exactly is this ring?
The most collected groom can turn paranoid if he has something as expensive and sentimental as a wedding ring in his pocket! Mindless groping of your pocket will be a ritual until the diamond shines on your beloved's ring finger.
5. How do I know that I have found the one?
Deep down in his soul, a man knows the answer to the question - otherwise he would not propose marriage! He may just be replaying in his head the reasons why he is going to spend the rest of his life with you. It's okay to be scared.
6. Do I look nervous?
Clenching hands, sweaty palms and a worried expression on his face are classic signs of a man making the biggest decision of his life. He is acutely aware of the absurdity of his appearance, especially if he intends to make an unexpected proposal. Not everyone can play the role calmly - Clint Eastwood's talent is one in a million!
7. Will her family like me?
Your lover may fit perfectly into the family circle or may never meet your relatives. Regardless of this, the question remains open for him, especially if you are strongly influenced by your mom or dad. It’s one thing to marry the woman you love, but quite another to marry her family.
8. Will our sex life change?
We've all seen the soap operas and talk shows where they tell us that after marriage, passionate couples turn into two logs with sex scheduled according to the calendar. A sad reason for reflection for a still free man.
9. I'll probably embarrass myself!
There are a lot of funny stories when the gentleman approached the main question, and suddenly, due to nerves, he was literally speechless. Or things didn't go according to plan. One of my friends, out of excitement, dropped his ring into the fountain while proposing. Okay, the water was warm!
10. How will a wedding change my life?
Let's be honest. For most men, this question should be put in first place, not in tenth place. Life after marriage, romantic relationships, sex, everyday life, moving, mortgage, children - this cycle of thoughts probably flashes through his head.
11. God, what am I doing?
Rethinking the enormous changes in life after marriage, many men ask this question in despair at least once. Such a bold decision makes you feel stupid and vulnerable. Some people stop here.
12. Will I be able to impress my beloved?
Your macho man knows that the story of the marriage proposal will be retold to all relatives, girlfriends, children and grandchildren. It is not surprising that the man of your dreams tries to impress and is very worried about this.
And finally...
"I am a legend." This is how you can modestly and briefly express your opinion about yourself as a handsome man when Juliet answered “YES” and the excitement receded. Enjoy your moment of happiness!
To make your proposal look impressive, entrust the preparation to real professionals. In the catalogJoydayAt your service are the best restaurants and romantic venues, luxury limousines, musicians and artists - all the ingredients for success.
This long-awaited moment happened: he proposed marriage! But soon the euphoria and delight of what happened is replaced by slight panic and a bunch of questions: where to start preparing for the wedding? What do you need for a wedding? How not to forget anything??
This article presents an analysis of the Rostov wedding services market, and it will help you plan all your wedding worries.
But let's go back to the beginning. You should think about where to start preparing for the wedding immediately after the proposal, but don’t panic and don’t try to decide everything at the same time! It’s better to do everything gradually, then you won’t miss any small but important details.
First of all, you need to decide what kind of wedding do you want: in a narrow circle of friends or a grand event with a huge number of guests; a chic event or a quiet cozy evening; outdoors or in a restaurant; classic wedding or stylized. This is perhaps one of the most important questions in preparation, because all subsequent steps will depend on the answer to it.
Next, we decide on the date. Remember that wedding season- this is April - October, and the most peak falls in April, August and September. If there are no circumstances that determine the wedding date, then everything depends on the preferences of the bride and groom. The newlyweds do not submit an application to the registry office immediately after the decision. You need to call the selected registry office (the choice depends only on your preferences, and not on the place of registration) and find out when applications will begin to be accepted for the planned date; in Rostov this period is 1.5 months. The registry office of the Kirov region is the most popular, otherwise it is called central; it is located on Universitetsky Lane. The registry office on 1st Mayskaya Street in the Proletarsky district is also quite famous - very cozy and beautiful. Great option - exit registration, it's very beautiful and romantic. BUT in Russia this type of registration is still fictitious, so register in advance with the registry office. In parallel with submitting your application, you should decide on your honeymoon: will it be in Russia or abroad. If you are planning a vacation abroad, then start preparing the necessary documents: passport, visa.
Choice photographer- a very important moment. After all, it is he who will “form” memories that will remain for many years. If your wedding is planned for the seasonal months: April, August, September, then you should start choosing a photographer about 6-8 months in advance! That is, if you are planning a wedding in April, then start searching for a photographer in October; for an August wedding - in January. The rest of the time, take care of this choice a couple of months in advance. When choosing a photo studio, pay attention to whether a contract for shooting is concluded or not - it is better not to take risks and not worry that the photographer may “disappear” before such an important day. It is also desirable that the deadlines for completing the order be specified, since many do not receive the long-awaited photographs for 3 months, or even more. In large, good photo studios that care about clients, you can immediately order the services of a makeup artist and view his work. Book a pre-wedding photo shoot to get to know the photographer better and avoid feeling embarrassed at your wedding. If you want to capture a wedding celebration on a video camera, then with a choice operator It is worth deciding from 2 to 6 months, also depending on the season.
Search presenter For a wedding you should start about half a year before the celebration. Find exactly the person who will feel the atmosphere of your holiday. In Rostov, presenters are booked 5 months in advance during the season. But it also happens a week in advance if the celebration is cancelled, but it’s better not to risk it, otherwise you’ll have to invite an “incendiary” elderly toastmaster with an accordion to your wedding.
Musicians weddings are booked on average 2-3 months in advance. But if this is a popular group, then the time frame increases. For example, you need to negotiate with the French group 4 months in advance.
Now you have already decided on the date, photographer, style, musicians - let’s move on to the choice restaurant for the formal part of the evening. In Rostov, choosing a restaurant should be made at least 2-3 months in advance during the season. But popular banquet halls, for example in the Old House or Don Plaza, must be booked 3 months in advance even in winter, and 4-5 months in advance for popular dates.
Every girl from childhood imagined her own wedding dress. Now the time has come to decide on the style and start searching for that perfect dress. If you don't find anything suitable in stores, don't worry! In Rostov, a wedding dress can be sewn in 3 weeks. But of course, it’s better to take care of it a few months in advance. But you will definitely not see this on anyone else and it will be exactly like in your dreams.
2 months before the appointed date, decide the following issues: order or buy invitations; in advance so that it turns out cheaper and more beautiful, that is, you don’t have to order express delivery of out-of-season and exotic flowers. Order bridal bouquet to match the decorations and accessories. pick up hairdresser and makeup artist, if you have not done so previously; book car. Decide on decoration of the hall: if you want to decorate it flowers, then in such Rostov salons as Floridans it is worth discussing all the little things
Wedding cake order 2-4 weeks in advance, Rostov has a huge selection of pastry shops where you can choose the perfect cake: Pancho, Vanilla and others. Dedicate the entire last month to the little things, keep everything under control! A week before the celebration, call the photographer, restaurant, pastry shop - make sure that all agreements remain in force and stop worrying! But if you agreed with reliable and high-quality companies, then they will call you on their own. Now, with peace of mind, go to the spa, get a manicure and relax. Gather your friends for bachelorette party, have fun!
And now the long-awaited solemn moment has arrived: the wedding! We hope this article will help you plan your wedding preparations and everything will go without a hitch! Happiness in your family life!
The market analysis was conducted by Anastasia Koshaeva, marketer at the “Your History” photo studio.
|
My wedding is planned for... |
||
|
April, August, September |
January, February, March, May, June, July, October, November, December |
|
|
Photographer |
6-8 months |
2-3 months |
|
Video photographer |
4-6 months |
2-3 months |
|
5 months |
1-2 months |
|
|
Musicians |
2-3 months |
|
|
Restaurant |
3-4 months |
2-3 months |
|
Visagiste |
||
|
Submitting an application to the registry office |
1.5 months |
1.5 months |
|
Sewing a dress |
1.5 months |
|
|
wedding cake |
||
What is the ideal proposal? Candlelight dinner and a ring in a glass? But... what if the dinner turns out to be stale and the potential bride accidentally swallows the ring? Today we will talk about options for NOT ideal proposals.
1. Offer by mistake
One guy decided to give his girlfriend a ring for her birthday. She opened the box and decided that he was proposing! The young man decided not to disappoint the birthday girl. They got married!
2. Too fancy ideas
A young man in the USA decided to propose marriage while walking through Disney Land. But he wouldn't be particularly original if he just proposed in front of the castle. He decided to climb to the roof - straight to the spire. The lady of the heart begged the madman not to do this. But Don Quixote was not pleading. And... he fell straight from the top. Thankfully, he's alive. The girl now wonders whether “fighting the Dragon is appropriate these days.” He will remember the offer - 100%!
3. Scare you crazy
The next hero decided to show the wonders of intrigue. He told his common-law wife, who was six months pregnant, in a serious tone that there was a big problem. Things are going extremely badly. And their relationship has reached its breaking point. When his wife was already in a pre-fainting state, he blurted out: “Will you marry me?”
4. Imitation of an attack.
Men sometimes manage to ruin all women's ideals. On a romantic date, one wit pretended to have a seizure. He fell to the floor and convulsed. He pretended to be suffocating. When the girl was about to pump him out and tore her shirt, she saw a red inscription on her chest: “Will you marry me?”
5. Take it to the quick
A huge percentage of women are concerned about the problem of extra pounds. And men know this very well. Some use this in their dark humor. One woman’s husband asked: “When will you lose weight?” She was indignant: “What?” And he responded: “Then we can get married!”
6. Crime story
One girl was detained by the police. She was brought to the station. And in all seriousness they accused him of theft. When her nerves reached the limit, the policeman pulled out a photo of her and said that she had stolen his heart.
7. Without memory
One man managed to propose during a psychological crisis, actually in a state of passion. The girl said "Yes." The guy forgot about what happened. But they got married anyway.
8. Drunk at a rock concert
A marriage proposal accompanied by guitar riffs with a homemade ring. Cool? Especially if the next morning you have difficulty remembering what happened in the evening!
9. The ring is stuck
The man was supposed to pick up a girl from work on a motorcycle. But he was late. She was very upset and angry. When they got home, he said nervously: “Do you want to know why I was late?” He threw the box on the floor. “Look, this damn ring never came out of the box! If you can get it, be my wife!”
10. Infected?
The guy cheated on the girl. They broke up. But then they got back together. But the girl did not agree to have sex with him until he was tested for sexually transmitted infections. When he came from the laboratory, he said that he had been diagnosed with an incurable disease. The girl became hysterical. Then the guy asked if she would marry him, since he had spoiled her so much. It turned out that this was a method to make an original proposal.
