Wedding traditions weddings in Russia are a mixture of ancient Russian rituals, traditions of the Soviet period and Western trends. Recently, more and more often we can see Western-style weddings being held in Russia: with on-site registration, without toastmaster, competitions, accordion player, ransom and loaf, but still the majority still prefer classic Russian weddings. In this article we will take a closer look at how a traditional Russian wedding takes place.
There are many signs and traditions, and some of them relate to the period of preparation for the wedding: this is traditional matchmaking, which now takes the form of a small feast for parents and newlyweds.
There is also a tradition of bachelorette and bachelor parties. According to Russian traditions, the bachelorette party was held before the wedding day: the bride's friends gathered there, the bride cried and wailed, said goodbye to her girlhood, and unbraided her hair.
Nowadays, hen and stag parties are increasingly held as we often see in Hollywood films - fun, noisy and with alcohol.
Let's return directly to the day of celebration. What ritual begins almost any Russian wedding?
Bride ransom
Previously, the phrase “bride price” was not a metaphor at all! Indeed, the bride was bought from her parents' house.
Now money has faded into the background. The bride price, which is usually organized by the bridesmaids, takes place in the house of the girl's parents and includes competitions. By going through these competitions, the groom proves that he knows and loves the bride well, and the groom's friends should come to his aid.
This is how the wedding fun begins. Having gone up to the bride's house, the groom takes her to register the marriage. Usually, during the bride price and after it, the bride's parents arrange a small buffet.
Wedding ceremony
After the ransom, traditionally the couple, followed by the guests, go to the registry office, where the marriage is officially registered. The newlyweds perform their first dance there, for which they often order live music.
After accepting congratulations from the guests, a small photo session is usually held, first for everyone, and then only for the newlyweds, during which the guests prepare for the bride and groom to leave the registry office.
Guests sprinkle the newlyweds with rice (for the early birth of children), candies (for a sweet life), coins (for wealth) and rose petals (for a beautiful, romantic life together).
Orthodox couples who belong to the church also undergo a wedding ceremony in the church.
Wedding walk
After registering the marriage, the guests (often only young friends and girlfriends of the newlyweds) go for a walk around the city. At the same time, they try to visit the most beautiful sights in order to take pictures there.
Seven Bridges
We have all seen the groom carry the bride across the bridge. It turns out that this ritual also applies to wedding customs and traditions in Russia.
It is believed that if the newlyweds cross seven bridges on their wedding day, their marriage will be strong. It rarely happens that a couple manages to go around all seven bridges, but everyone tries to cross at least one.
Also, a padlock with the names of the newlyweds is often hung on the bridge, which, according to legend, seals the marriage.
Bread and salt
Traditionally, after the wedding, newlyweds come to the house of the groom's parents, where they meet them with bread and salt.
Usually the new mother-in-law holds a loaf of bread on a towel (special towel), from which the bride and groom must take a bite. Whoever bites off the most will be the head of the family.
Wedding traditions and customs of the Russian people these days are losing touch with religion: previously, the groom’s parents used to bless the newlyweds in this way, and the groom’s father kept icons for this. Loaf for a wedding is a tradition that originated from here.
Now the wedding loaf is greeted at the restaurant where the banquet on the occasion of the celebration will be held.
Festive feast
The celebration continues in a cafe or restaurant, where everything is ready for the arrival of the newlyweds. The decoration of the hall, tables and menu are usually chosen in advance.
This is a separate topic worthy of a huge post. Now we are talking about the traditions of the wedding feast.
Congratulations
The whole holiday is arranged in such a way that special attention dedicated to congratulations: everyone will have time to congratulate! Usually the parents are the first to congratulate, they are given the floor, and they seem to bless the children for marriage.
Afterwards, relatives congratulate: first on one side, then on the other, and then friends. Often, the bride prepares a special box in advance, in which she places envelopes with money so that they do not get lost.
Dancing
After the guests have eaten, the dancing begins. But here, too, traditions cannot be avoided. The first dance of the bride and groom is obligatory. Recently, it has become fashionable to prepare this dance in advance, to make it unusual, brides change their dress for the dance, grooms can also change clothes. Of course, such dances are remembered by guests.
Another dance, without which it is difficult to imagine a Russian wedding, is the dance of the bride and her father. With this dance, the father seems to be escorting his daughter to another family, saying goodbye to her. This touching dance reminds that a completely new time is coming in the bride’s life.
Family hearth
An ancient tradition that is still popular today. How to spend a family hearth?
- Organizers and assistants hand out small candles to guests.
- Guests stand in a circle and light candles.
- The lights in the hall turn off.
- To the accompaniment of slow music, the presenter tells a parable about a family hearth.
- Parents light their candles and approach the young people.
- A new candle flame is created for the newlyweds - a family hearth.
Ritual of removing the veil
According to tradition, at the end of the holiday, the mother-in-law or mother of the bride removes the veil. At first, the bride should not agree, only the third time does the mother manage to persuade her to remove the veil.
After the veil is removed, the groom undoes the bride's braids. During the ceremony, the leader usually explains what is happening and tells the story of the ceremony. This wedding moment always turns out to be very touching.
Second wedding day
But the holiday doesn't end there! The first day is followed by the second wedding day, the traditions of which include an informal celebration.
On the second day, guests most often gather outdoors, where they drink, sing songs and barbecue. These days, weddings are rarely celebrated for more than two days. After the wedding, the newlyweds can go on a honeymoon.
These are the wedding traditions in Russia. Of course, these are not all the rituals that exist; many of the traditions are already disappearing, but new ones are replacing them.
So, fortunately, at weddings we can find vulgar competitions, which were very popular 10 years ago, less and less often. Nowadays, themed weddings and outdoor weddings are gaining popularity.
In any case, you do not have to follow all wedding traditions and customs, the main thing is that your wedding is memorable and you like it!
Two loving hearts decided to create a new union. There are many pleasant chores ahead in preparing the celebration. It's time to remember which ones exist. In Russia, most couples try to stick to at least the most basic ones. All customs carry a semantic load, which we often no longer remember, following all the unwritten rules, rather, out of habit, so that it is like everyone else. Let's try to figure out what customs and traditions symbolize at a wedding in Russia.
Wedding dress
The first thing that comes to mind when you remember wedding traditions in Russia is wedding dress. Romantic and airy, modest and innocent, luxurious and elegant - it can be anything, the main thing is that the bride feels the most beautiful in it on her day. Despite this, most girls choose white outfits. And only in rare cases do they agree to the attire in which someone has already been married. Usually it's mom's dress, if she has a problem happy marriage. Why white and new? This color symbolizes youth and innocence. Therefore, many women, getting married for the second time, choose blue or variations of the champagne color, believing that they have already worn their white outfit. The new dress symbolizes new life, which begins from the day of marriage.
By the way, white The wedding tradition in Russia came from Europe. Since ancient times, our girls got married in red dresses, which symbolized fertility. Fashion is changeable, including wedding looks. Many modern brides are trying to get away from traditional colors, adding bright or, conversely, delicate ribbons or other trim to your outfit. Red is now chosen only by the most extraordinary and extravagant people.
Veil
History of the veil as an attribute wedding dress dates back about two thousand years. Roman brides hid their faces under a veil as a sign of modesty, chastity and secrecy. Only after the ceremony could the husband remove this veil from his beloved. In the East, the veil did not adorn the bride, but was kept between the future spouses so that they could not touch each other until their first night.
Wedding traditions in Russia oblige brides getting married for the first time to wear a veil. If the marriage is the second, then this becomes unnecessary. Today this custom is no longer taken so seriously. A veil is perceived rather as an accessory that complements a hairstyle, along with a tiara, for example. Sometimes a small veil attached to the hat is worn instead. You can do without this wardrobe element altogether.
Old and new, borrowed and a little blue
With this phrase, traditions in Russia generally describe the bride’s outfit. “New” is undoubtedly a dress - a symbol of entry into a pure and bright family life. “Old” is usually jewelry that is passed down in the family from mother to daughter. It is not necessary to talk about family diamonds; it is quite acceptable to use some detail of the mother’s wedding dress. This thing will symbolize the connection between generations, that piece of parental warmth that they invested in their daughter and which she will bring to her own family. “Borrowed” is a thing that was lent by friends. It will mean that there will always be friends and loved ones next to the young family, always ready to help and support. The blue color in the outfit is a symbol of peace and harmony in the future family. It can be used in dress trim and accessories. A blue garter is often worn.
Rings
Wedding traditions in Russia, as in other countries, are not complete without the exchange of rings. Young people planning to get married today choose jewelry from precious metals- gold, silver, platinum, smooth or with stones, decorated with carvings and engravings. And yet traditional wedding rings are smooth, without inserts or decorations. Why is this so? The ring is an endless straight line, without beginning or end. It symbolizes a long future family life. Every pebble or unevenness, according to popular belief, means some kind of misfortune on the path of a young family, since the ring is closed, troubles will be repeated over and over again, in a circle. So most often they choose smooth rims.
Blessing
When discussing wedding traditions in Russia, one cannot forget about the important custom of receiving parental blessings. It is this that gives a happy start to family life. The lack of parental approval can still be considered a significant reason for the wedding not to take place. Each of the newlyweds should be blessed by their mothers or godparents on the morning of the celebration.
Ransom
Like many years ago, modern traditional wedding in Russia one cannot do without a ritual; it has existed in our country for centuries. It symbolizes the girl’s transition from her parents’ nest to her husband’s family. The sacred meaning of this ritual has almost been lost; now the ransom has turned into a fun event designed to entertain guests. The groom has to show remarkable ingenuity to cope with all the tasks that the bride's friends have prepared for him. Often they help demonstrate how well the future husband knows his beloved and what kind of heavenly life he promises her. If the task is not completed, you have to pay off the youngest participants with money or candy. The groom is supported by his friends. Sometimes they manage to break through, missing some tasks. In any case, ransom is one of the most fun rituals.
and the groom's boutonniere
The best Russian wedding traditions (and the most beautiful) are associated with the bride's bouquet. Previously, the groom composed it himself. He could pick flowers in the field or ask any of the neighbors to cut a plant he liked in the garden. Such a request was usually not refused. Today, a rare girl will allow the groom to order a bouquet in the salon without her approval, yet it is one of the main wedding accessories and must fit harmoniously into the image. The groom is not allowed to see the dress in advance, so he is unlikely to be able to choose the flowers himself.
For the first time, the bouquet plays its role at the bride price. When the future happy spouse overcomes all obstacles, he gives his bouquet to his beloved. The ransom ends the moment she picks up the bouquet - this means consent. Next, the girl must take out one flower from the bouquet and pin it on the groom’s chest. This is where the tradition of the boutonniere came from. It always consists of the same colors and is decorated in a similar way.
The custom of throwing the bride's bouquet into the crowd of unmarried friends, and the second - a garter to the groom's friends, came to us from Europe. It’s not very often that a well-known sign works, but the cheerful tradition has taken root very well. And the guests are happy to support her. The main bouquet is usually protected; for throwing, a second, smaller one is ordered, which the girl who catches it can take, and sometimes artificial flowers are used.
Showering newlyweds with grain
After the end of the wedding ceremony, usually at the exit from the registry office, guests waiting for the newlyweds line up on both sides of the exit, forming a tunnel through which the groom carries the bride in his arms, and shower them with grain, small coins or rose petals. This action is included in the wedding traditions of the peoples of Russia and many other countries. Different objects may be used, but the meaning of the ritual is the same. It symbolizes wishes for happiness, wealth and fertility to the newly-made family.
Bread and salt
At the entrance to the house where the newlyweds will live, the groom's parents are waiting for the newlyweds with bread and salt - a festive loaf. It is decorated with images of swans, bunches of rowan berries and other symbols of wealth, fidelity and fertility. The bread symbolizes the wealth and prosperity desired by a young family, and the salt is supposed to protect them from evil forces. The young people should each bite off a piece of the loaf and eat. There is also a sign - whoever grabs the largest piece will be the head of the family.
There are other wedding traditions in Russia associated with arrival at a new home. The groom must certainly carry the bride over the threshold in his arms. This custom should protect her from the evil eye, disease and other misfortunes. If the girl did not enter on her own feet, then she was not in this place.
Even for the young, they laid out a fur coat with the fur facing up - a symbol of wealth. Whoever knelt on her first is the head of the family.
Breaking dishes for luck
Many people in Russia come from villages. The custom of breaking dishes for luck also comes from this. On the second day after the celebration, it was customary to break clay pots. If the vessel breaks, it means the girl got married pure and immaculate. Even if no cracks appeared, they could start slandering the bride. It was believed that the more fragments, the more happiness the young people would meet on their way.
New wedding rituals
Each city has its own variations of wedding traditions and its own places where newlyweds should definitely stop by during a walk after the registry office. Among them there is always a bridge, through which the groom must carry the bride in his arms so that she does not touch the ground with her feet. Often, padlocks are hung on the bridge railings indicating the wedding date and the names of the newlyweds. Together they lock them and throw the key into the water, as if sealing their union and throwing away the only possibility of its destruction. Sometimes ribbons are tied to trees for good luck.
The sacred meaning of wedding ceremonies is often no longer known to anyone. They are only perceived as old good traditions and a way to entertain guests. And yet, most couples who get married tend to follow the customs they know, believing that this will make their marriage more successful.
Very little is known about the weddings of pagan Rus'. According to the Russian historian N.M. Karamzin, the ancient Slavs usually bought wives for themselves and did not know the wedding ceremony as such. All that was required from the bride was proof of her virginal purity.
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The status of a wife was equal to that of a slave: she was entrusted with all the housekeeping and raising children. At the same time, the woman could neither complain about her husband nor contradict him, expressing complete submission and obedience. After the death of her husband, the Slavic woman usually burned herself at the stake along with his corpse. The living widow dishonored the entire family.
The chronicler Nestor left evidence that the morals and customs of the ancient Slavs varied from tribe to tribe. Thus, the Polyans were distinguished by a meek and quiet disposition, they respected the sacred bonds of marriage, which they considered a sacred duty between spouses. Peace and chastity reigned in the Polian families. On the contrary, the Radimichi, Vyatichi, Northerners and especially the Drevlyans had a wild disposition, cruelty and unbridled passions. They did not know marriages based on the mutual consent of parents and spouses. The Drevlyans simply took away or kidnapped the girls they liked. Among the Radimichi, Vyatichi and Northerners, instead of weddings, there were “games between villages” (“games between fields”), during which men chose brides for themselves and began to live with them without any rituals. Among other things, polygamy was widespread among the ancient Slavs.
Over time, the ritual life of the pagan Slavs became more complex, acquiring numerous beliefs and rituals around which their everyday life was built.
The pantheon of Slavic gods was constantly expanding, including more and more original and borrowed deities.
The god of fun, love, harmony and all prosperity - Lado (Lada) - enjoyed special respect among young people.
During games and dances by the water dedicated to this deity, bride kidnapping was common, which, as a rule, occurred by prior agreement. The newlyweds brought sacrificial gifts to the god of love.
In addition to the voluntary kidnapping of brides, the Slavs during the period of the disintegration of the primitive communal system developed such marriage rituals as splashing water, driving around an oak tree, buying wives, etc.
Until the very beginning of our century, two sharply different parts were clearly visible in the Russian wedding rite: the church rite of “wedding” and the wedding itself, “fun” - a family rite rooted in the distant past. The hierarchs of the Orthodox Church in their epistles both in the 16th century and in the first half of the 17th century. continued to condemn all elements of the folk wedding ceremony as “witchcraft” that had nothing in common with the Christian religion, but, apparently, they not only did not prohibit, but even ordered priests to take close part in the extra-church part of the ceremony.
The highest church hierarchs themselves occupied important places on the wedding train and at the banquet table. Even in the church, along with the rituals prescribed by the rules of Orthodox worship, actions were performed in the presence of clergy that were not provided for by these rules. For example, a newlywed drank wine from a glass glass, which he then broke and trampled on the fragments.
In the church, after the Orthodox ceremony, when the hands of the newlyweds were already joined above the altor, the bride fell at the feet of the groom, touching her head to his shoes, and he covered her with the hem of his caftan. The bride and groom left the church separately - each to their parents. Here they were showered with life, and the celebration seemed to begin all over again: the bride feasted with her relatives, and the groom with his.
In the evening, the bride was brought to the house of the groom's father, but even there she did not take off her veil and did not speak to the groom during the entire wedding feast, which lasted three days. Only after three days did the young couple leave for their own home, where they held a common final feast.
In the rituals of a Russian wedding, actions associated with pagan beliefs and the Christian religion were intricately intertwined. These include, for example, many actions that protect wedding participants from hostile forces. These actions should contribute to the well-being of the couple, childbirth, increasing wealth in the household, and the offspring of livestock. Wanting to protect the bride from the evil eye, they wrapped her in a fishing net, stuck needles without ears into her clothes, so that the evil spirits would get entangled in the nets and run into the needles. In order to deceive the dark forces during matchmaking, they changed the route, took roundabout roads, replaced the bride, etc. They were protected from damage and evil spirits by abstaining from uttering words and from eating. There were rituals that provided young people with many children and wealth. These included showering the young with grain or hops, and placing them on a fur coat with the fur blowing upward. To strengthen the connection between the newlyweds, they mixed wine from the glasses of the newlyweds, shared food and drink, stretched threads from the bride’s house to the groom’s house, and tied the hands of the bride and groom with a scarf.
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The wedding ceremony developed as an extensive dramatized action, including songs, laments, sentences and sayings, spells, games and dances. In the form of lamentations, the bride said goodbye to her home, her girlish headdress and girlish braid. As in any dramatic work, the wedding ceremony had its own permanent cast characters- “ranks” who performed roles defined by tradition. The central figures were the bride and groom. The bride was supposed to express gratitude to her parents for “giving her water and feeding her.” And from the moment of matchmaking until leaving for church, the bride bitterly mourned her maiden life. Active participants in the wedding were the parents of the bride and groom, immediate relatives, godparents, as well as matchmakers, tysyatsky, the bride's brother, groomsmen, bridesmaids, etc.
Druzhka (druzhko) - the representative of the groom - the main manager at the wedding, made sure that the custom was observed as the community understood it. He had to be able to joke and amuse the wedding participants. A friend was elected to help a friend, and a senior boyar was elected to help a thousand. In the South Russian rite, karavainitsi were appointed to prepare the ritual loaf. Each wedding character was distinguished by his clothing or some additional ritual element of it. Usually these were towels, ribbons, scarves, wreaths.
The bride, in the days preceding the wedding and on the days of the wedding itself, changed her clothes and headdress several times, which meant changes in her condition: an arrangement, i.e. betrothed, young princess - before the crown, young woman after the crown and wedding night. The groom was also called the young prince, and then simply the young. He did not change his clothes, but had his own symbols - a flower or bouquet on his headdress or on his chest, a scarf and a towel on his shoulders. On the wedding day, the bride and groom dressed smartly and, if possible, in everything new.
The topic of marriage was constantly present in the lives of the younger generation. For example, a girl’s entire premarital life was preparation for marriage. Therefore, she was accustomed to the cares of a future mother and housewife. Literally from birth, her mother began to prepare a dowry for her. By the age of 16-17, the girl became a bride. An important point pre-nuptial rituals included public “viewings” (“bride viewings”) of brides. They helped find a suitable bride, find out the economic situation of her family, and learn about her behavior and character. Parents tried to find “equals”. Brides were held during spring-summer festivities and Christmastide, usually coinciding with patronal feasts, as well as Epiphany.
Usually, two weeks or a month after the shows, the groom’s mother, taking with her her sister or married daughter, went to woo the girl she had fallen in love with at the public shows.
An important place in the premarital life of young people was occupied by girls' fortune-telling about marriage, the apogee of which fell on Christmastide. Having decided to marry their son, the parents began to look for a bride for him and found out who had a “girl of marriageable age.” The son’s wishes were taken into account, but were not always decisive, because the girl had to meet the requirements of her parents. Girls who stayed too long, (usually aged 23-25) were considered “overdone”, “age-old” and suitors avoided them, thinking that they had a vice. The same distrust and suspicion were caused by young people who had been single for too long (old men, over-aged).
The first marriages were usually concluded in compliance with all the customs and rites of the wedding ritual. Weddings of widowed men with girls who had not previously been married were also celebrated. Marriages of widows and single men with widows were not accompanied by wedding ceremonies.
The time of weddings was determined by the agricultural calendar - usually weddings took place during the period free from agricultural work. Was essential church calendar, because We didn’t “play” at wedding posts. Most marriages took place in the fall, from the Intercession (October 1) to the Fililipov ritual (November 14), as well as in the winter from Epiphany to Maslenitsa. In some places, the ancient tradition of holding weddings in the spring, on Krasnaya Gorka, after Easter, was still preserved.
The traditional Russian wedding cycle was divided into three main periods: pre-wedding, the wedding itself and post-wedding.
The first period began with an unspoken family council - a “gathering” in the groom’s house. The parents and relatives of the groom took part in it. The groom himself did not take part in the gathering. At the gathering they discussed the bride's property status, her behavior and health, and pedigree.
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The initial period of the wedding consisted of matchmaking, collusion, inspection of the groom's household, bride's viewing, pilgrimage, hand-waving and drinking. There were several ways of matchmaking, for example, the groom's parents went to the bride's house and began negotiations. In other cases, a matchmaker or matchmaker was sent to the bride's house and they asked permission to come with the groom and his parents. Usually the matchmakers were the spiritual parents of the groom - the godfather or mother, or one of the relatives.
Sometimes they resorted to the help of professional matchmakers. Light days were chosen for matchmaking, avoiding fast days: Monday, Wednesday and Friday. In many places, matchmakers took with them a stick, poker or frying pan in order to “scavenge the girl.” The visit to the matchmakers was repeated 2-3 times, or even more. The first visit was considered as "reconnaissance". The bride's parents set the table: they put bread, salt, and lit lamps and candles.
After consenting to the daughter’s marriage, the clutch size was determined, i.e. the amount of money given by the groom's relatives for the purchase of dresses for the bride and for wedding expenses, as well as the size of the dowry (the bride's personal property consisting of clothes and shoes - it was also called a chest or ship).
Two or three days later, after the mutual consent to become related, but even before the final decision, the bride’s parents and relatives inspected the groom’s household. The continuation or termination of the “business” depended on how much one liked it. If the inspection of the groom’s household ended successfully, then a few days later the “groom’s side” was invited to the bride’s viewing, where she showed up in all her dresses and demonstrated the presence of all her labor skills - spinning, sewing, etc. The bride at this stage had the right to refuse the groom. Most often, the viewing ended with a feast. After the feast, the bridesmaids accompanied the groom home. He invited them to his place and generously treated them.
The final stage of the first negotiations was the conspiracy, which took place in the bride’s house two to three days after the bride’s wedding. After the conspiracy, the bride was called a “conspiracy.”
Successful negotiations on an agreement usually ended with a handshake. The father of the groom and the father of the bride, as during trade transactions, shook hands wrapped in scarves or caftan skirts. After the handshaking and the feast, which often lasted all night, the gates were opened in the morning so that everyone could come in and look at the bride and groom.
Bogomolya attached special meaning - “Pray to God, then the matter of matchmaking is over.” After the blessing, the bride and groom kissed three times and exchanged rings - they became engaged. The agreement reached by the parties usually ended in a joint feast - a binge.
After the agreement, the period of preparation for the wedding began. It could last from one to three weeks to a month or more. The conspirator's lifestyle changed and appearance. She almost did not leave the house (unlike the groom) and wailed. It was believed that the more the bride cries, the easier it will be for her to live in her husband’s family.
The last day before the wedding was called a bachelorette party, where the bride broke with her maiden life, freedom and her family. As a rule, a bachelorette party consisted of a whole complex of ritual actions: making beauty (emphasis on O), unbraiding the braid, washing in the bathhouse, saying goodbye to beauty (will) and handing it over to friends, and treating the ritual participants to the groom. In some localities, on the last day, a youth party was held in the groom’s house, at which the groom said goodbye to his comrades and to his single life. That same evening, the groom's relatives were sent to the bride's house with gifts. If the groom traveled on his own, his preparations were accompanied by special rituals and instructions. His guests left after the groom. The bride was also dressed up, having dressed up, the bride washed herself with vodka (wine) and sat down with her friends to wait for the groom. Soon (at about 9-10 pm) the matchmakers arrived. For the bachelorette party, the groom brought a basket with toiletries, and sometimes a wedding dress, and gave ribbons to his girlfriends. At the end of the table, before the groom left, the bride was hidden. The groom looked for her among his friends, they slipped old women to him until he gave his friends a ransom.
For the wedding, they baked a special ritual bread - loaf. In a Russian wedding, bread represented life, prosperity, prosperity and a happy life. The preparation of wedding bread and its distribution occupied an important place in the wedding ceremony.
The wedding day was the culmination of the entire wedding event. On this day, rituals were performed in the homes of the bride and groom to prepare them for marriage and express the consent and blessing of the family for this marriage. After the wedding, already in the house of the newlyweds, rituals were performed that introduced the young woman to the new household and the position of a married woman.
The morning passed in troubles and preparations for the crown. The bride was dressed, perhaps more elegantly. When the groom arrived, they demanded a ransom from him for the right to travel and enter the bride’s house. Then the parents blessed their daughter and sent her to church, after which the dowry was usually brought to the groom's house.
There were several options for traveling to the crown. According to some, the bride and groom went to church together, according to others, separately. Having blessed their children, the parents placed them at the disposal of groomsmen and matchmakers (the parents themselves did not go to church). Having gone out into the yard together with the groom (if the groom was traveling from his home) and the poezzhans (other wedding participants), he walked around the yard with the icon, and the matchmaker, standing on the cart, scattered the hops. Having walked around three times with the icon, he asked everyone present for the groom’s blessing for the marriage. After that we went to church. In parting they wished: “God grant that we may stand under a golden crown, get a house, and have children.” The groom rode solemnly, hanging bells from the arc; the groom's horses were covered with white towels. The bride came to church without much noise, with only one driver (“crybaby”). Before the wedding, they met in someone's hut and here the groom took the bride by the hand, walked her around three times, slightly tugged her braid, as if showing that the bride was deprived of her will and must submit to the will of her husband. Usually the wedding train left in odd numbers, i.e. an odd number of horses.
In the Central Russian provinces, on the contrary, friends violently dispersed those they met. Leaving the yard, the residents congratulated each other on a “well done ride.”
The weather on the wedding day was of particular importance. It was believed that if “snow and rain on the wedding train - live richly”, “rain on the newlyweds - happiness”, “a whirlwind with dust on meeting the train - not good”, “red wedding day - live red but poor”, “blizzard on the wedding train - the wealth will be blown away."
The wedding ceremony consisted of betrothal and laying of marriage crowns - the wedding itself was performed by a priest. During the engagement, the priest asked the bride and groom about their mutual and voluntary agreement to marry and put on the rings.
A church wedding gave legal force. However, marriage with a wedding, but without a wedding, was not encouraged.
The wedding was accompanied by many magical rites: it was customary to sweep the road around the church with a broom in front of the bride and groom; a scarf or linen was spread under the feet of the newlyweds and money was thrown in to avoid “bare life.” The bride and groom tried to step on each other's feet, and the one who managed to do this first had the upper hand. family life. They strictly ensured that no one passed between the bride and groom (so that none of them violated marital fidelity). Standing in front of the crown, the bride was baptized “covered,” i.e. not with your bare hand (to live richly). Many beliefs were associated with wedding paraphernalia: rings, candles, crowns. It was believed that it would be dropped during the wedding wedding ring"not a good life." And the one who held the candle higher under the crown, “has the majority” (headship in the family).
They tried to blow out wedding candles at once so that they could live together and die together. The wedding candle was taken care of and lit during the first birth.
After the wedding in the church gatehouse or a nearby house, the bride had two braids braided and placed around her head - “the young woman was twisted like a woman.” The bride's groom's matchmakers, who braided their braids, braided them for the distillation - whose matchmaker is the first to braid the braid, the first-born will be of that gender. After this, the young man put on a woman’s headdress - a warrior. This ritual marked the transition of the bride to the group of married women.
The newlyweds were expected at the house. Women from the village went out to meet the wedding train at the outskirts, and when they saw it, they began to sing songs. Those meeting at the house, relatives and guests fired guns upward, the young people were sprinkled with hops and grain, a fire was laid out at the gate and they were led through it. The parents blessed the newlyweds - the father with an icon, the mother with bread and salt. In some areas, bread was broken over the heads of the young and each and every one of them had to keep it for the rest of their lives. After the blessing, the young people bowed at their feet, trying to do it at the same time in order to live together. They were seated at the table, on benches covered with fur coats, saying: “The fur coat is warm and shaggy - you will live warmly and richly.” Usually the mother-in-law or one of the groom’s relatives used a grip or a frying pan to unveil the young bride, i.e. They took off her bedspread (later her veil). Then they greeted her and brought her gifts.
The first table was usually called the “wedding table”. The young people, although they sat behind him, did not eat anything. Congratulations and wishes were said in honor of the newlyweds. Soon they were taken to another room and fed dinner. Then the young people returned to the travelers again. By this time, the second table, called the “mountain” table, was set. Relatives of the newlywed came to this table. They were met at the porch, each served a glass of vodka.
Those who arrived were seated at the table according to seniority - men on one side, women on the other. At the mountain table, the young woman gave gifts to her husband's relatives, bowed to them, hugged them and kissed them. Then she had to call her father-in-law father, and mother-in-law mother. During the feast, the girls sang songs. At the end of the table, the newlyweds came out and fell at the feet of their parents so that they would bless them into the marriage bed.
It was arranged in some unheated room: in a barn or stable, in a bathhouse, in a separate hut. The wedding bed was made with special care. Sometimes some tools of peasant or craft labor were placed next to the marriage bed so that the newlyweds would have sons and be good workers. The newlyweds were usually accompanied by a friend and a matchmaker. The farewell was accompanied by music and noise; probably, this design had the meaning of a talisman. The matchmaker and boyfriend inspected the bed and room to make sure there were no objects that could cause “damage” to the young people, and, giving the last advice and instructions, wished them happiness and prosperity. The young people were treated to wine. After an hour or two, and in some places even overnight, they came to wake up and raise the young people.
Usually this ritual was performed by the same people who escorted them to the wedding bed and led the newlyweds to the hut, where the feast continued. The young people accepted congratulations. In many localities, it was customary to display the newlywed's bloody shirt. If the young woman turned out to be immaculate, she and her relatives were given great honor, but if not, then they were subjected to all kinds of reproach.
In many localities, rituals associated with the “awakening” were accompanied by a bathhouse. Her friends, matchmakers, boyfriends, and godparents drowned her. The farewell to the bathhouse was accompanied by noise, songs and music. They swept the road in front of the young people with brooms. A friend walked ahead of the procession and carried a decorated broom covered with a scarf. Over time, the ritual of the second day gradually began to be replaced by dousing with water, rolling the newlyweds in the snow, even just visiting an unheated bathhouse. After the bath, the young people rode around the village, visiting the houses of relatives and inviting them to the next feast.
The feast of the second day was called “cheese table”. During the cheese table, cheeses were cut. The senior friend first called the relatives of the young one, then the young one, and asked them to accept a treat from the young ones - vodka and a snack, and put something “on top of the cheeses.”
The most common ritual of the second and third days was the newlywed’s first visit to a spring or well, during which the young woman usually threw money, a ring, a piece of bread cut from a wedding loaf, or a belt into the water.
Another, no less widespread ritual was bright belts. The young woman's relatives came to her husband's house and reported the girl missing. The search began. The newlywed was brought out to them. They recognized it as theirs, but after inspection they found many changes and renounced their rights.
They tried to diversify the ongoing wedding festivities with all kinds of games and fun. A common custom on the second day was mumming. The mummers dressed in turned-out skins. They dressed up as different animals, gypsies, soldiers. Sometimes men dressed in women's clothing, and women in men's clothing.
The third day was usually the final one. Often on this day they would test the young one. They forced her to light the stove, cook, sweep the floor, but at the same time they interfered in every possible way - they spilled water, knocked over the dough, testing her patience. Only her husband could save the young woman from all the trials by treating everyone to vodka.
One of the responsible and fairly common rituals was the son-in-law visiting his mother-in-law (“bread”). The young mother-in-law treated him to pancakes and scrambled eggs. Often during this visit, the son-in-law demonstrated his attitude towards her, which depended on whether she managed to raise her daughter and maintain her chastity or not. After the treat, the son-in-law smashed the dishes on the floor. In many villages, a visit to the mother-in-law ended with the serving of a passing pie, which signified the horses of the wedding festivities.
Typically, wedding celebrations lasted three days; for the rich, they lasted longer. There were no special rituals performed on these days; as a rule, various entertainments were repeated, there were feasts with refreshments, either in the newlywed’s house or in the husband’s house.
Peasant wedding ceremony served as the basis of the city.
In the conditions of the city, it has changed significantly, both in general and in detail. By the middle of the 19th century. in the rituals of the townspeople, common and specific features were observed that distinguished them from the peasant tradition: weakening of the magic of the elements, strengthening the role of professional matchmakers, greater distribution marriage contracts, changes in ritual food and the order of feasts, replacement of dances with dances, and the folklore repertoire with city songs. This allows us to talk about already established urban forms of wedding rituals.
From about the 80s of the 19th century. under the influence of the growing democratization of the social and cultural life of Russia, changes occurred in the social and everyday relations of the townspeople, which also affected the wedding ceremony.
The October Revolution of 1917 and the subsequent declaration of war on religion subjected the traditional wedding ceremony to attack, ridicule and bans. Throughout the Soviet period, there were two main forms of wedding ceremonies: official (state) and traditional.
Two hearts by the will of the Zodiac
Merged into one under the shadow of Marriage.
There are seven wonders in the world, however
There is nothing more wonderful than Marriage.At the present time, the wedding, as a complex multi-stage set of rituals, has practically not been preserved. Time and fashion dictate their conditions, but some elements are alive.
Church wedding ceremonies are becoming more and more frequent.
It is impossible to imagine a wedding without first meeting the parents. They also stipulate the material side of the issue - how much the wedding will cost, and how the expenses will be distributed. (Let us immediately note: today there is more atypical in this matter than at any time in the past).
Traditionally, rings, a dress and shoes for the bride are bought by the groom, and the bride's family provides a "dowry" - bed linen, dishes and furniture. Almost everywhere there is a wedding feast. The wedding can be based on both a village and an urban ceremony, or you can combine elements of both. The rest depends on the capabilities, tastes, traditions of the families of the bride and groom and the ingenuity of their friends. Often, professionals are invited to hold a wedding, they resort to the services of special institutions - wedding houses, etc.
There are various wedding scenarios. Let us dwell on some “generally accepted” points.
It is customary for the bride and groom to write invitations themselves and deliver them personally to those whom they wish to see at their wedding. An exception is for nonresidents, but it is considered more polite if a written invitation is confirmed by a telephone conversation. Relatives and friends must certainly be present at the solemn act of registering the marriage, where they congratulate the newlyweds and give flowers. The presence of witnesses is officially regulated. Wedding palaces became popular. There, every couple will definitely smile (and if necessary, they will help and calm them down: there are many cases when brides fainted from excitement).
It is generally accepted to give gifts to the newlyweds at a wedding. However, it has become quite acceptable to give money to young people in a smart envelope, which was once an offensive thing. And relatives or friends who were invited but were unable to attend the wedding simply send money transfers.
The main characters at the wedding - the bride and groom - should be the most elegant. If the bride is getting married in a church, then her dress should not have a deep neckline. The flowers that the groom orders (with the knowledge of the bride) must be in harmony with the dress. (At marriage registration, the bride may appear in a short dress or without a veil, but with a bouquet). Light bridesmaid dress and white shirt and the groom's tie are an indispensable condition for a wedding in church and are specially stipulated - just like the fact that Christians getting married must be baptized and have crosses on their bodies.
Only the bride can wear white at a wedding!
In earlier times, grooms wore a tailcoat; today they may wear a dark (in winter) or light (in summer) well-tailored suit, a white shirt, tie or bow tie. It’s good when the buttonhole contains a small bouquet of the same flowers as the bride’s.
(In case of remarriage, which in our time, alas, is not uncommon, the wedding is no longer celebrated so magnificently and in a rather narrow circle. Guests come in festive dresses. However, the bride no longer puts on a veil and a snow-white outfit. She can simply have beautifully styled hair on her head hair, sometimes decorated with several flowers or a hat, but you still need a bouquet in your hands).
More about flowers. Previously, the bride was supposed to choose flowers of one color - mostly soft pink or white, but now they choose other flowers or combine many types of flowers, trying to make them harmonize in shape and color. There is one general rule: everything is permissible that does not violate harmony. Flowers are used in different ways in a bride's outfit. In the form of an elegant wreath, they can decorate her head. Graceful boutonnieres pinned to a light veil or dress are very beautiful.
A traditional bouquet can be made openwork, hanging, or placed in a small elegant basket ending with an inconspicuous, comfortable ring that fits on your finger. Most often, bouquets for the bride are made elongated - this is a one-sided "German" bouquet, or - with far diverging different sides shoots of climbing plants - the so-called English variety. Less known is the Swedish round bouquet" summer solstice", composed of colorful summer flowers, cereals, ears of corn, with lace ribbons and colored tulle.
It is not at all necessary that the bouquet consist of expensive flowers. Decisive for choosing a bouquet are the age and appearance of the bride, as well as the color and length of the wedding dress.
A large and lush bouquet is contraindicated for a short, fragile bride; flowers that are too large are not suitable either. It is preferable for her to choose a small, elegantly arranged bouquet that she can hold with two fingers, or a basket bouquet.
A tall bride with a corresponding build should prefer a fairly large bouquet, which is worn on the bend of the elbow. This is a bouquet of long-stemmed flowers, the center of gravity of which is on the bride’s hand and the flowers themselves hang down.
You can make a delicate boutonniere for the groom. For complete harmony, the boutonniere should be made of the same flowers as the bride’s bouquet.
In many countries, the bride wears myrtle branches in her hair and a bouquet of the same branches in the shape of a brooch on her chest. The groom wears a bouquet of myrtle branches in his buttonhole.
The traditional exclamation, taken up by the choir, “Bitter!” at the wedding table has been ringing for centuries. It’s also not complete without congratulatory poems.
The wedding table does not have a significant ritual program. Perhaps the only remaining items on the menu are chicken dishes and wedding cake. The rest depends on tastes and possibilities. But oh wedding cake special mention should be made.
A wedding cake, or bride's cake, is not only a delicious confectionery product and table decoration, but also a symbol expressing skillful decoration good wishes bride, young family. A cake in the form of a wicker basket with white roses is a symbol of purity, purity and love; with red - deep and passionate love; a cake with swans and a chick is a hint of a new addition to the family; "horn of plenty" - to prosperity; cake in the shape of a horseshoe - fortunately; "lyre" - to creative perfection; cake in the shape of a pyramid - a wish to live to a ripe old age, to rise to the top of life together...
There should be no dedicatory inscriptions or wishes on “themed” cakes.
The wedding cake is usually placed on the banquet table in front of the newlyweds. You can place the cake on a special bedside table or table near the bride and groom. When it’s time for dessert, the bride cuts the cake (this is where the test of dexterity and accuracy lies!). The piece with the main design is placed on the bride's plate by the groom.
It is advisable to arrange the tables in the letter “P”; another arrangement is also possible - the main thing is that the bride and groom and parents are in the center of the table. At crowded weddings, it is recommended to place guests according to the plan according to name cards.
The decoration of the banquet table is fruit. A composition of grapes, apples, pears, peaches, bananas, etc., placed in a tall crystal vase, gives the wedding table the necessary splendor and freshness. In general, it should be remembered that the color of the treats and the appearance of the table are no less important than the taste qualities. Skillful arrangement of dishes, fruits, confectionery on a white or colored tablecloth affects a person like a good picture.
The rule for serving and serving guests is that before serving dessert, appetizers, bread and spices must be removed from the table. Exceptions are allowed at a wedding. In this case, the owners only need to tidy up the table from time to time: remove empty dishes, and place identical snacks remaining on the dishes on one dish along with herbs and other decorations. To do this, it is best to have on hand pre-chopped greens, radishes, olives, cucumbers, green peas, etc., which are pre-chopped and dipped in water, so you can immediately decorate the combined dishes. It is advisable to have refreshing drinks on the tables until the very end of the celebration.
In addition to flowers, candlesticks in the form of candelabra with 3-5-7 candles add solemnity to the wedding table. Antique silver and bronze tall candelabra or ceramic and wooden ones are always beautiful. Tall candlesticks and slender, even candles do not blind those sitting at the table or interfere with seeing each other. However, you should not overload the table with candlesticks. For a 50-seat table, 2-3 candelabra with 3 candles each are enough (the total number of candles, as is customary, should be odd).
At the table to the right of the bride and to the left of the groom, leave some space, somewhat separating the newlyweds from the rest. This should be done not so much for convenience (although comfort is important), but rather according to tradition, which provides for the special position of the bride and groom.
A happy marriage loves the holidays. Our loving spouses celebrate every anniversary. But there is also an almost “official” list of wedding anniversaries that are customarily celebrated.
The first wedding anniversary is called calico. Five years - wooden, seven - copper, ten - pink, fifteen - glass, twenty - porcelain, twenty-five - silver, thirty - pearl, forty - ruby, fifty - gold, seventy-five - diamond. The name also suggests gifts. And your favorite flowers (or maybe those that made up the wedding bouquet!).
An example of a wedding scenario in one of the wedding celebration houses:
The wedding celebration begins with a ceremonial meeting of the newlyweds at the entrance. The presenter congratulates them and leads them to the newlyweds’ room, meanwhile organizing the guests for a ceremonial meeting in the wedding ritual hall. Guests are located on both sides of the carpet, at the end of which stand the parents of the newlyweds.
When the newlyweds, accompanied by witnesses, enter the hall to the sounds of the wedding march, the guests shower them with sweets and flowers. The groom's mother brings them a lush fresh loaf of bread, specially baked for the wedding, on an elegant towel, and the bride's mother generously sprinkles them with grain. Everyone wishes happiness and prosperity to the young family.
The newlyweds break bread and treat each other, parents, witnesses and all guests to the wedding loaf. The host hands the young wife a small broom, and to my young husband- a dustpan, and offers to sweep the carpet. Young people collect grain and candy to the sound of cheerful music. The presenter comments on their work, explaining to the guests the meaning of the wedding ceremony: the bride, having shown skill, must remove the garbage quickly in order to please the mother-in-law, and the son-in-law must like the mother-in-law, as a good assistant to the daughter. The guests thank the young people with applause for their first joint work and give gifts. (V. Dahl - teach a young woman to sweep the floor / she sweeps, and the guests litter to test her patience / - Approx.).
Then the host, on behalf of the newlyweds, invites everyone to the wedding table. The first ceremonial toast - congratulations to the newlyweds - is offered by the host of the celebration or the wedding guest of honor. Guests greet the newlyweds standing. The young people thank their parents. The presenter invites guests to congratulate their parents on this joyful event.
The response - a parental order - is offered to the parents of the newlyweds. Then the guests of honor, witnesses and friends speak.
The newlyweds open the dance, the next dance is open to everyone.
Then the presenter reads out the decree - a comic parting word to the young, in an epic style. The decree is issued in the form of a scroll with wax seals. After reading, the scroll is given to the young people. And again congratulations, wishes and instructions follow.
Young people are invited to break a bagel hoop baked from dough. Whoever breaks off the largest piece is proclaimed the head of the family for a day.
A prerequisite for the feast is songs. The youth sings their favorite songs, the elders sing old wedding songs.
Most of our country's current holiday traditions have roots that go deep into the past. Same thing with a wedding. All the most exciting and impressive things: the proposal, pre-wedding festivities and the marriage process itself - all these wedding customs were inherited from our ancestors. And this is what brightens up the process. What has been invented these days, unfortunately, cannot boast of brightness and unforgettable performance. And even sadder is the fact that not all the traditions of our ancestors have survived to this day.
How does this happen these days?
Essentially, what are modern Russian wedding rituals?
Let's outline it briefly. A young man proposes to his chosen one, in most cases relegating such events as “asking the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage” and “receiving a parent’s blessing” to the background. And it happens that he does not resort to such actions at all.
After the bride accepts the groom's proposal, active calculations begin to determine how much this celebration will cost. An application is submitted to the registry office, which allows you to determine the exact date of the wedding. The bride, with the help of her bridesmaids, chooses her wedding dress, jewelry and shoes. The responsible person, the toastmaster, is responsible for the wedding scenario itself. Usually she is not related to either the groom's side or the bride's side.
Immediately before the wedding, events such as bachelor and bachelorette parties take place.
And finally, this day comes - the wedding. With or without a visit to the church, the newlyweds arrive in their cortege to the doors of the registry office, where the main wedding ceremony takes place. And only after both parties sign the marriage is considered valid.
How was it before?
Initially, there was no single Russian people, but only different tribes of pagans. Each of them had its own cultural customs. Naturally, the wedding ceremonies of these tribes differed from each other. The Polans had a special reverence for marriage bonds. They welcomed harmony in the house and were sensitive to the creation new family in your community. The same cannot be said, for example, about the Drevlyans. They had a prevailing barbaric attitude towards this issue. Wedding rituals and customs seemed alien to them. And for a man of such a tribe it was not considered shameful to steal the girl he liked. Moreover, she could be from someone else’s tribe or from her own.
Over time, the tribes became closer and united. Thus, uniting their cultures into one single one.
The ancient pagan wedding ceremony consisted of dancing near idols. This is how our ancestors worshiped their gods, thereby consolidating marriage. The dancing was accompanied by massive dousing with water, jumping over a fire and singing ritual songs.
The baptism of Rus' brought significant changes. Thus, paganism and Christianity are closely intertwined. No matter how the church tried to eradicate manifestations of paganism, nothing came of it. To this day, elements of it are present in our traditions.
However, with the advent of Christianity, it became mandatory to attend church on the wedding day. Thus, the marriage was considered sanctified. Otherwise, everything was as before - a feast that lasted up to seven days, dancing and sleigh rides.
What time was considered appropriate for a wedding?
As in our days, ancient wedding ceremonies were tried to be held at certain times of the year. Most often this was done in autumn and winter, since during this period there was no need to engage in agricultural work. In case of special need (for example, unplanned pregnancy brides) the wedding took place in the spring or summer. But this was extremely rare.
Despite this, there were not many days for the celebration. Wedding customs prohibited weddings:
During fasting;
During Christmas time;
On Easter Week;
On Maslenitsa;
On Orthodox holidays.
It was also not customary to get married in May.
Religious and magical actions during a wedding
Wedding ceremonies in Rus' were famous for their superstitiousness, which again owes much to paganism. And it was believed that the time of the wedding was the right moment for evil spirits. To protect the young from its effects, many rituals were performed. Thus, the newlyweds were protected from the bad influence of spirits, as well as from damage and the evil eye.
Witnesses, who were the friends of the young people, were needed in order to confuse the evil spirits. Thus, according to the beliefs of the ancestors, evil spirits could not find real future spouses, which prevented them from fulfilling their dirty plans. In addition to the fact that friends and relatives of the young people took part in the removal of evil forces, various amulets were also used for this. For example, the bride's veil served as some kind of protection from dark spirits. When they moved on a sleigh, they deliberately swept the road behind them, which was also supposed to throw evil forces off the trail.
By carrying out all the above measures, relatives and friends ensured the spouses a happy marriage, prosperity and health. If the wedding took place among previously widowed people, then little attention was paid to such traditions.
When and how did you prepare for the wedding?
On the part of the bride, preparations for future wedding began almost from her very childhood. She was taught to cook, sew and other household chores.
In addition, there was a tradition that for the wedding the bride was obliged to sew a towel for each relative on the groom’s side. The future husband himself was given a shirt woven by the hands of the bride. A piece of material for a sundress and a scarf for the head were intended for the groom's mother.
Who made the choice?
As a rule, the choice fell entirely on the shoulders of the young parents. Matchmaking, grooming and collusion also took place under their control.
If children chose their own couple, it was considered disrespectful to their parents, and such marriages were considered unhappy. However, there were cases where parents approved of their child's choice.
Young people could meet in squares where mass celebrations often took place. The girls sang and danced. The guys played musical instruments (harp and balalaika), and also organized horseback riding, where they demonstrated their dexterity and courage in front of the fair sex.
Dowry
The dowry was the property that was included with the bride after the wedding. Mostly it was furniture women's clothing and jewelry, money (exclusively silver and gold), as well as livestock and real estate. It was welcomed that the girl was from a wealthy family. If the family did not have a dowry, then the groom’s side provided it for them.
Matchmaking
Wedding ceremonies in Rus' were distinguished by the fact that this action took place without the participation of the newlyweds. This event was usually planned for Sunday or some other holiday. The groom's parents took with them a trusted person - a matchmaker. It was she who had to represent the interests young man in front of the bride's side. She praised the groom in every possible way and discussed the dowry with the bride's parents. At the end, the matchmaker took both parties by the hands and walked them around the table three times, after which they crossed themselves in front of the icons. When leaving, the groom's father set a date for the viewing. As a rule, they took place a week after the matchmaking.
Bride
A week before the viewing, the groom’s side carefully prepared for this event. The sleigh was decorated, clothes were sewn and gifts were prepared.
In the bride's house everything was even more reverent. The future wife had to personally clean the room where the guests would gather. The best clothes were obtained and refreshments were prepared.
Wedding ceremonies in Rus' did not allow the groom to participate in the bridesmaid ceremony. The bride was examined by his parents. Her main task was to give the impression of a modest girl.
After the show came to an end, the groom's side went out into the courtyard for a meeting. This was already a formality, since final decision was decided after the matchmaking.
Collusion
This important point included every wedding ceremony in ancient Rus'. The conspiracy was accompanied by a more magnificent feast than matchmaking and bridesmaids. And during it, both parties signed an agreement. Thus, our ancestors had an engagement. The contract specified the exact date of the wedding. And after the signatures were placed, the only reason that could disrupt the wedding ceremony was the death of one of the young people.
After the contract was signed, the bride's sister (or friend) entered the room and presented gifts to each relative on the groom's side.
Wedding
Before the adoption of Christianity, pagan weddings consisted of the newlyweds leaving the locality. Surrounded by their peers (there should have been no elders), they went to the edge of the forest. There they wove wreaths, sang ritual songs and danced in circles. It was believed that, in this way, nature itself blesses the young.
When pagan wedding rites were supplanted by the Orthodox Church, it became mandatory to enter into a union in the temple.
Before the wedding day, the bride and her bridesmaids had a bachelorette party. They washed themselves in the bathhouse, sang songs and wondered what fate awaited the girl in her married life.
On the wedding day, everyone first gathered at the groom's house and feasted. Various rituals were carried out, controlled by the matchmaker. In general, the entire wedding scenario belonged to her. After the third course was served, the newlyweds and guests went to the temple.
In the temple, the priest blessed the marriage, and the father handed her daughter over to her now husband. At the same time, he hit his daughter with a whip, which meant the parental order to obey and honor her husband. The whip was passed on to her husband. Sometimes it was limited to this, but there is information that some wedding ceremonies in Rus' were carried out by whipping the future wife with her husband. By hitting her with the whip three times, according to legend, the husband made his wife submissive.
After a long ceremony in the church, everyone returned back to the groom's house. The rest of the time the festivities were held there. Russian wedding ceremonies, as a rule, took place over three days.
At night, the young people were escorted to their bed and were no longer disturbed. Starting from the second day of the festivities, they could easily be woken up in the middle of the night, dressed and returned to the table.
The bride's nightgown was checked for deflowering. If there were no such spots, then the wedding could be broken off and the girl ridiculed. The stains on the shirt were shown to the guests at the table, which served as a good indicator for the bride.
Where can you find similar traditions in our time?
There are few places where such wedding traditions are still preserved. However, in our country there are still lands where people, although not completely, have preserved the old customs. For example, a wedding ceremony in Kuban is quite reminiscent of a wedding that was once held in Rus'. The Cossacks have always been famous for honoring the history and traditions of their people, thereby preserving their heritage for their descendants.
