A sleeping baby is a magical sight, akin to a miracle. And this picture seems especially implausible to those exhausted parents whose babies cry for no apparent reason, arching their bodies, and scream incessantly 24 hours a day. Don't despair! And don't beat yourself up - you're not a bad parent! You simply don’t know the ways that can rock even the most capricious child without depriving his mom and dad of clarity of mind, self-control and a sense of parental happiness. We will teach you how to properly calm a child.
From the very first words, it is worth noting that all the tips below on how to calm a crying child (namely, a baby aged 0 to six months) refer to those cases when the baby cries and screams “for no apparent reason” - that is, his tummy does not hurt (not bloated, not tight, can be easily felt), he is not hungry, not cold and does not need to change his diaper. Rather, these tips are for those tired and exhausted parents, in whose eyes one can read the question: “How to calm a child who just likes to cry and yell?!”
How to calm a 0-3 month old baby? Put yourself in his position!
One of the world's most competent experts in the field of children's crying is American doctor, professor of child psychiatry, pediatrician Harvey Karp. For over 20 years, he has been teaching new parents effective ways to quickly soothe a crying infant. Dr. Harp's book dedicated to these methods has long been an undisputed bestseller in its segment. On the one hand, these methods are extremely simple, judge for yourself:
- swaddling;
- holding in a side position;
- “white noise” or hissing;
- rhythmic rocking;
- sucking.
But refrain from being surprised and doubtful until you try all five methods in action. What is the essence of this technique? In his book, Dr. Harvey uses such an ambiguous concept in relation to newborn children aged 0 to 3 months as “ fourth trimester of pregnancy».
During this period of life, babies are in dire need of conditions that would closely replicate the mother's intrauterine environment. It is in such conditions that babies instantly calm down, instinctively gaining a sense of familiar comfort and safety.
Actually, Dr. Karp based his technique on this principle. For example, tightly swaddling a newborn simulates its presence in the mother's uterus in the last stages of pregnancy, where the baby becomes quite cramped. The side position is also the most familiar for him. Hissing sounds are the most familiar to the baby, because while in the womb, he constantly hears the mother’s breathing and the passage of fluids through her intestines. An unborn baby constantly experiences monotonous motion sickness (almost shaking) when his mother moves. And if you look at the ultrasound pictures, you will see that starting from the 24th week, while in the mother’s womb, the baby reflexively sucks his thumb.
Here is the nature of the origin of all five methods of effective motion sickness according to Harvey Karp.
And if you learn, using Dr. Karp’s tips, to imitate for your baby all these states that are most comfortable for him in the first months of life, then you will not have problems with how to calm your child. So:
5 magical ways of Harvey Karp, or How to calm a child:
Method 1: Swaddling. Of course, it’s not a good idea to keep your newborn tightly wrapped in diapers all the time. But if the baby is worried and cannot fall asleep for a long time, sometimes it is enough just to wrap him tightly in a sheet or diaper (it is necessary to swaddle him with his arms) so that the baby immediately calms down.
If your baby is often restless and has difficulty falling asleep, it makes sense to buy modern diapers that even dads can easily use.
Method 2: Side position. Place the baby on your arm or on your lap on its side so that it seems to fall slightly onto its stomach. Gently support your baby's head. This position can also be used in cases where the child suffers from slight colic.
Method 3: Rhythmic rocking (shaking). Holding the baby in a position on his side, begin to gently but rhythmically rock him from side to side. This method can be immediately combined with the next one - simulating hissing sounds.
See clearly how to properly hold your baby on his side and rock him:
Method 4: “White noise”. The idea is to play monotonous hissing sounds directly above the baby's ear. This is perhaps the most unusual of all the ways to calm a child put forward by Dr. Karp, but it works perfectly.
Method 5: Sucking. A pacifier is an excellent universal soother for a baby. With the same success, you can put your baby to your breast (if you are a nursing mother) or give a bottle with a small amount of formula.
In Harvey Karp's own experience, sometimes it is enough to use one or two techniques from this list to stop a newborn from crying and worrying. But often you have to use all five methods sequentially. However, according to the doctor, these simple methods, together or separately, help in almost 100 percent of cases.
Agree - this is literally a “gift from heaven” for those exhausted parents who, due to the constant crying of their children, are, figuratively speaking, on the verge of committing suicide...
4 ways to calm a baby over 3 months old
Dr. Harvey Karp's methods are good, but it is worth mentioning once again - almost all of them are suitable only for newborn babies. If you try to swaddle or “hiss” a six-month-old crying toddler, you are unlikely to succeed. To calm older children, you can try other methods. Moreover, in this case, the expression “how to calm a child” will not always be equal to the expression “how to rock a baby to sleep.” To calm down means, first of all, to distract from screaming and sobbing.
Method 1: Carry in a sling. Wearing in a sling, by the way, combines two points proposed by Dr. Harvey: rocking and swaddling, and if you add “white noise” to this list, for example, going outside with the baby, then it will immediately become clear why Children love slings so much. And if swaddling is only suitable for newborns, then you can carry a baby in a sling from time to time as long as you comfortably bear (literally) the weight of your baby.
Method 2: Switch your attention. Children older than 3 months already quite successfully and for a long time fix their attention on objects and sounds - they are especially attracted to bright colors and clear, loud sounds. Rustle bright paper or a bag, ring a bell, let them watch any commercial on TV. All these manipulations (especially the last one!) instantly capture the baby’s attention: he is distracted from the hysteria, begins to show interest and gradually calms down and calms down.
Method 3: Let the excess air escape. When crying, a child swallows a lot of air, which gives him very unpleasant sensations. Thus, the hysteria risks closing in a circle: the baby cries, swallowing excess air, from which his tummy begins to ache and he cries more than ever, swallowing air again and again. Therefore, as soon as the child begins to show anxiety or scream, take him in your arms and hold him in a column for a while - by burping out excess air, the baby will most likely calm down. And if not, use the previous method by trying to attract his attention with a bright toy or unusual sounds.
Method 4: Dance together. It may seem strange, but smooth dance movements can help you solve the problem of how to calm a crying baby. Take your baby in your arms, smile at him, talk to him in a soothing tone and move around a little - rocking him from side to side, up and down, humming a simple melody. When the baby stops crying, hold him to your breast for a short time (if the baby is bottle-fed, give him a bottle of water) or give him a pacifier. Most of the time it works!
Crying is the only way that an infant can express his dissatisfaction. Even quite experienced parents do not always know how to calm a newborn. Often lullabies and motion sickness do not help. What to do in this case? We will talk about all the methods and popular techniques in the article.
In the maternity hospital, parents practically do not encounter the crying of the baby. The baby, who was recently born, is just beginning to adapt to the world around him. He spends most of his time sleeping. Several days pass and the child begins to act up.
There may be the following reasons for this:
- The little one is hungry. At the same time, the crying is very strong and loud. If breastfeeding or formula is not offered in time, the baby will begin to “choke” and become hysterical;
- The baby is in pain. In this case, the crying is plaintive and loud. With colic, sharp pain occurs. In this case, the child will not only cry, but also draw in his legs and squirm in the playpen. The most effective way to relieve your baby from unpleasant sensations is to massage the tummy or apply a warm diaper;
- The baby was scared. This phenomenon occurs quite often in newborns. The crying begins suddenly, and there are notes of hysteria in the voice. In this case, it is important to quickly pick up the toddler, caress him, and show him that his mother is always there.
We examined only the main reasons for crying in babies. There are actually quite a lot of them.
This is important! Very often you can hear the following from grandparents: “You shouldn’t pick up a baby while crying, he’s just manipulating adults, he wants to show that he’s the head of the family.” This statement is fundamentally incorrect. Remember, the toddler is very dependent on his mother for the first year of life. She should always be nearby, ready to help at any moment. This is exactly what the baby must understand. Create a trusting relationship with him, show him how much you love him, and there will be much less crying.
How to calm a newborn baby
How to calm a baby when he cries? We will consider effective methods below:
- Swaddling. Many people reject this method, considering it outdated. Believe me, the baby does not feel like he is in a straitjacket. On the contrary, he feels warm and good. In the first month after birth, the baby is not able to control his movements; unconscious movements of his arms and legs can disturb him and prevent him from falling asleep. Swaddling is very helpful in this case;
- Dummy. Many mothers are categorically against nipples; they see only negative aspects in them, for example, the formation of an incorrect bite in the baby. But that's not true. Experts conducted an experiment that showed that sucking a pacifier can protect a toddler from sudden death;
- Music. If you don’t have a pleasant, calm melody at hand, you can safely perform a lullaby yourself. This will calm and relax the baby. Do not forget that a newborn may be afraid of silence, because while in the womb, he is accustomed to constantly hearing various sounds;
- Motion sickness. Take the little one in your arms and start rocking the baby in your arms. Movements should not be sudden, as this may scare the little one. This method is best used before bed. If the mother has had a caesarean section or has health problems, you can purchase a special rocking chair for this purpose.
- Place the baby in the sling. If the baby is under 5 months old, it is better to forget about the kangaroo. This backpack is not suitable for newborns. A regular cloth sling will do. The baby will be as close to his mother as possible, this will calm him down;
- Change the diaper. Is your baby crying or hysterical? First of all, check the diaper. Perhaps the little one is simply not comfortable in a wet diaper.
When crying a lot, you can often hear advice - give the breast right away. It is not entirely correct. The little one definitely swallows air while eating. As a result, he will develop colic, and the hysterics will repeat again with even greater force.
Advice! All doctors unanimously say that parents need to provide comfortable conditions for the baby in the apartment. And we’re not just talking about a comfortable mattress in the playpen. The nursery should have cool, humidified air, no televisions, feather pillows or warm blankets. By creating favorable conditions, you can avoid constant hysterics.
If nothing helps, the baby often cries, it is better to seek help from a pediatrician. Perhaps the baby has health problems.
We use the well-known Harvey Karp technique
Famous pediatrician Harvey Karp has developed his own technique for calming an infant. It includes 5 simple steps. They must be performed in the order presented by the doctor:
As the pediatrician himself assures, these simple actions can quickly calm the little ones. Perform them consistently, and the effect will be obvious.
In the article we found out how to calm a newborn baby. Remember, all babies are individual. Apply the methods and methods described above, and you will definitely find the most optimal one for yourself.
During the first days of life, it is common for a baby to be capricious and cry. In this way he expresses his concern to his parents. But often this phenomenon causes anxiety and parents do not know how to calm their newborn baby. At first glance, this is simple to do, because it is enough to find out the cause of the whims and try to eliminate it. Babies cry mainly due to hunger, intestinal colic, pain and lack of attention. Each irritating factor has its own methods of calming, which we will discuss in this article. 
How to calm a newborn baby when he cries? Advice from E. Komarovsky
First, try to guess the reason for the child’s whims. After a month, parents independently begin to understand what exactly the baby wants, since the child’s character has been more or less studied. Let's take an interest in what the famous pediatrician Evgeny Komarovsky recommends for each individual case.
Attention! There are other reasons that worry the baby. Most often these are feelings of pain and discomfort; if the child cries hysterically and attempts to calm them down are not effective, contact your pediatrician.
Hysteria in a baby: the main reasons
Often the cause of hysterical crying in a newborn baby is simple anxiety when the mother is not around. If you believe ancient sayings, people believed that a child’s severe hysteria meant that he had been jinxed. Against such phenomena, conspiracies were used, reading prayers, and washing the baby with holy water.
Children say! By the age of three, Verochka realized that the world was divided into female and male halves, and began to pester me with the question:
- Mom, are you even a girl?
When a baby is often hysterical, perhaps something serious is bothering him; unfortunately, such crying becomes the first symptom of a pathology of the gastrointestinal tract or circulatory system, which was not detected at birth. It is completely useless to calm the child in such situations by feeding, changing clothes and rocking.
Important! If you observe such symptoms, be sure to show your child to the doctor.
We calm and put the child to sleep in a short time
There are many options for how you can calm a newborn and help him fall asleep quickly, but each method works individually: 
- try singing a lullaby to your child, despite the fact that this is the technique of our grandmothers, nevertheless it is quite effective. Don’t despair if your newborn’s song doesn’t suit you, you may have to choose a special melody for him;
- brisk walking or vibrating movements calm even the most restless babies;
- motion sickness is considered the most accessible method. You can rock your baby in your arms, in a cradle, or in a stroller;
- don't know how to calm a newborn? If all else fails, try giving Nurofen. This drug effectively relieves attacks of pain and lowers body temperature. Indicated for children from three months.
For parents! Experienced mothers have proven that there is an effective way to calm a newborn in 2-5 minutes. Active movements of parents during motion sicknesssuccessfully help in this matter.
Harvey Karp Method: 5 Basic Steps
A unique way to calm a newborn baby was invented by the American doctor Harvey Karp. This technique consists of 5 main steps, taking into account which you will be able to quickly calm a crying baby. 
Children say! The little one (5 years old) found my old doll and asked:
- Did she have tick-borne encephalitis?
To implement this technique, you will need to create an atmosphere similar to that of the child before birth. Here are a few steps to take to quickly calm your newborn:
Such tips will incredibly quickly help rid a newborn of hysterics and screams in a short time.
Watch a video clip from Harvey Karp about the rules of calming infants
Newborns cry for various reasons, sometimes even the behavior itself can tell you what exactly is tormenting the baby.
The main thing is not to lose calm and try each method until you find what suits your baby.
Remember: a child will not cry just like that, any crying of a baby has a good reason, even if it is just to attract your attention: everyone needs their mother’s presence differently.
If you yourself are not on edge, you can figure out how to calm a crying child.
Causes of infant crying
Parents often make the mistake of trying to calm their babies the same way every time. But first you need to understand what exactly the child needs at the moment.
If a baby is crying, how can you help him? Try to determine the nature of the crying and check first:
- Wet diapers or overflowing diaper;
The discomfort from this causes the baby to toss and turn and groan in his sleep, and if the phlegm also makes him cold, he will wake up and persistently call for his parents. A characteristic sign is fidgeting, tossing and turning, whining.
- Irritated skin, diaper rash;
If your baby has sensitive skin and you don't use any products or don't change diapers often for a long time, the bottom and legs will become covered with red spots and will itch even in dry diapers.
Apply a soothing cream, for example, zinc paste, bepanthen, and be sure to give your baby air baths.
- Uncomfortable position;
Infants in the first months of life do not yet know how to roll over on their own and can simply lie on their side. It makes sense to turn your baby on his other side or on his tummy every hour when he sleeps for a long time.
Buy a special pillow with a hole in the middle for the head - this will make it more comfortable for the baby.
In addition, there may be other reasons. Strong crying in a baby: what to do, how to find out what he wants? Here's what might be causing it:
- Hunger;
Babies should eat as much as their bodies require. You should not feed by the hour, waiting for the next scheduled feeding, if the baby is crying.
A hungry baby, if you pick him up, begins to look for the breast, smack his lips, and open his mouth.
You will find a lot of useful information on this issue in the article Feeding on demand >>>
- Lots of air in the stomach;
This can be caused by poor latching or slipping onto the nipple during feeding.
If you feel that your baby is not suckling well and has slight weight gain, then you definitely need to correct the attachment.
Due to poor latch, the child swallows air and a bursting sensation similar to heartburn makes him cry and be capricious.
- Colic;
They usually begin at the age of 2 weeks and end by 3 months. Most often they manifest themselves with a long and shrill scream. The baby does not calm down and continues to cry bitterly.
Carrying the baby in your arms, soft rocking movements, and the warmth of the mother’s belly help.
- Pain;
A hand is numb, a mosquito has bitten, the temperature is rising, teeth are cutting - all this will lead to discomfort and the child will signal this to you by crying.
By the way, while your baby is still small, read the article about when teeth appear and how to alleviate your baby’s condition with pain in the gums: Teething in children >>>.
- Constipation;
At the same time, the child pulls his legs towards his stomach, as with colic, but also pushes.
It is worth remembering that constipation means hard stool. If a child has pooped and his stool is light yellow in color and liquid, then this is not constipation and the baby does not require any interventions in the form of suppositories, soap and other terrible procedures.
- Fear;
I was left alone for a long time, had a bad dream, and was frightened by a loud, sharp sound. Try to be close to the child during his sleep, so that you can meet the baby as soon as he opens his eyes and not give cause for alarm.
- Desire to sleep;
And it happens like that: he wants to sleep, but he can’t fall asleep. I need my mom, I’m bothering myself with my hands, I’m tired, I need to calm down. Well, how can you cope with this yourself?
- Cold/hot.
Only by finding the reason you need at the moment can you understand how to calm a newborn if he is crying.
How to calm a baby when he cries?
- Swaddle;
Babies calm down quickly when they are swaddled. The tight space creates a feeling of life in the womb and the babies become quiet.
- Unwaddle;
Yes, it’s a little paradoxical, but if a baby cries while swaddled, then it’s best to give him freedom for a while, jump with his arms and legs, and warm up.
Changing your body sensations helps you take your mind off the screaming and look at everything around with interest.
- Smooth rocking in mother's arms;
Just pay attention to what exactly is smooth! You should never jerk a baby sharply. He has very weak cervical vertebrae, easily damaged by rough rocking.
- Turn on the hairdryer or water in the bathroom;
- Skin to skin contact;
When you have absolutely no strength to rock your baby, place him stomach to stomach. He will be warm and calm, his tummy will calm down, and he will sleep longer and more soundly.
- Give the baby a gentle massage, stroke his head, stretch his arms and legs;
- Turn on music - children's or other, but not aggressive.
And most importantly, in any situation, maintain external and internal calm - the child will feel it and will be calmer himself!
Watch the online course about caring for a baby up to one year old.
1. Take him in your arms and press him to your chest
A universal method that works for children of all ages and even adults. They calm you down, give you a feeling of security, and convince you that you are not alone in this harsh and scary world. They also increase the production of the hormone oxytocin (it’s not for nothing that it’s sometimes called the “cuddle hormone”), which increases life satisfaction and reduces pain.
In general, take the baby in your arms, remembering to support the head in the area of the back of the head with your palm, and press him to you. The crying, if it does not stop immediately, will probably become quieter. And it’s not far before the child calms down.
2. Swaddle or, conversely, unswaddle
Newborns still have strong physical memories of the time they were in their mother's belly. Therefore, perhaps the child needs to feel that he is in a safe cocoon that limits movement. Swaddle him.
Another option (if crying has already begun in diapers) is to free the baby’s arms and legs from the fabric. Maybe he was wrapped too tightly and is experiencing discomfort.
3. Give breast, bottle or pacifier
Even if your baby is not hungry, sucking will help him calm down.
4. Rock your baby to white noise
Ideal if you have a generator. Then just turn it on and rock your baby to these soothing sounds.
However, if you don’t have a special device at hand, it doesn’t matter. Use grandma's old method. Take the child in your arms, rock him rhythmically and quietly hiss monotonously over his ear: “Sh-sh-sh-sh.”
5. Use Dr. Hamilton's 5-second technique
The video, which California pediatrician Robert Hamilton posted on YouTube, has already collected over 36 million views. And no wonder - it contains an almost magical way to instantly calm a crying baby.
Hamilton calls the proposed technique “holding.” It consists of only four steps, which can be completed in literally 5 seconds.
- Take the baby in your arms and cross his arms over his chest.
- Press the crossed arms with your left palm to his chest and place the child on the same palm - at an angle of 45 degrees to the floor. Use the fingers of the same left hand to hold your chin so that the head does not fall.
- Use your right palm to support it under the diaper.
- Holding the baby at an angle of 45 degrees, begin to gently rock him. This can be an up-down or side-to-side movement. Choose the option that is most comfortable for you. The main thing is that the movements are soft and smooth. In just a couple of seconds the baby will become silent.
For details, watch Dr. Hamilton's video:
The pediatrician warns: this technique is suitable for children under 3 months of age. Later they become too heavy to safely hold in this position.
And one more note. If the child does not calm down, then there is a reason for crying. Perhaps the baby is hungry, he is hot, or maybe he just has a wet diaper. Help your newborn get rid of physical discomfort, and he will give you a long-awaited smile and silence.
How to calm a child aged 4 months to a year
By this time, the baby has become stronger and begins to become aware of himself, so simple physical methods are no longer so effective. To calm the child, you will have to use your imagination. But let's start with the classics.
1. Pick it up
Let us remember again that this option is suitable for all ages. Use it as often as possible. Holding the child close to you, whisper something soothing to him in a gentle, quiet voice.
2. Shift your attention
Take the child in your arms and go with him to the window, enthusiastically saying something like “Wow, look how big the dump truck has driven!” or “Look, what a cute fluffy cat is in the yard!” Turn on the TV with cartoons. Put on your favorite ones and start dancing with your child in your arms.
Your goal is to switch the baby's attention from the situation that bothered him and caused him to cry, to something new and interesting.
3. Replace emotional activity with physical activity
Hold your baby under your arms and let him jump on the bed. Or do gymnastics. Or throw it in the air (not high). The need to concentrate to coordinate muscle activity will cause the baby to stop crying.
Attention! This method is not suitable if there is even the slightest suspicion that the crying is caused by a fall or pain.
4. Turn crying into something funny.
For example, tickle a child. Or take it and make a little puppet theater. Speak for her in a funny theatrical voice: “Oh, who’s crying here? Hush, hush, I’m afraid!” - and hide it behind your back. The goal is to make the baby smile. A child's cry, if you try, quite easily turns into laughter.
How to calm a child from one year to 3–4 years old
At this age, most children already understand adults well, know how and love to communicate. The most effective methods of calming are based on this.
1. Hold and sympathize
Hold the crying child close to you and tell him something like, “You're crying. You're probably upset about something. Tell me what happened, how can I help you?” He will most likely tell you what is bothering him. This will help solve the crying problem.
2. Add awareness
Ask your child to cry more quietly (for example, so as not to wake up the resting mother) or in a lower voice, “like a bear.” If he listens, you win. Crying will turn into conscious vocal exercises, from which the child will quickly get tired.
3. Remind about something important that is worth putting off crying for.
It may look like this: “Let’s cry later, otherwise it will soon get dark and if you cry for a long time, we won’t have time.” This way you do not deprive the child of the right to tears. Just ask to reschedule them for a more convenient time.
4. Find a way to vent the child’s emotions.
Offer him, for example, a pillow: “Come on, so as not to cry, we’ll beat her!” And together with your child, start hitting the soft thing with your fists. You can also give them an inflatable hammer or offer to throw plastic balls at the wall. Any type of activity that will help get rid of negativity is suitable.
5. Create a funny ritual
For example, as soon as a child starts crying, run for a hairdryer to quickly dry the tears. “So, where is our hairdryer, where did I lose it? Oh, let’s blow on the cat?” This will help redirect the child's attention and perhaps even make the child laugh.
6. Come up with “pills for bad moods”
These can be jelly, chocolate dragees, or any other small sweet. “Who is crying here? We urgently call an ambulance, she is bringing us pills for a bad mood! Eat it and your tears will dry!” The basic rules for this: there should be only one “pill”, and if the child refuses it, it will not be offered again this time.
How to calm a child 3-4 years old and older
By this age, children are already full-fledged individuals. And their reasons for crying are much more varied than those of babies. Each of them must be worked individually. Fortunately, the child can already clearly voice what exactly made him cry, and this makes the task easier.
Only one thing remains unchanged: take him in your arms, hug him, kiss him, tell him how much you love the child and how you sympathize with him. Empathy and support help people pull themselves together at any age - at 4 years old, at 15, and at 45.
