Firstly, there is no man who would not want to become proactive (except for some pathologies).

Any man wants to be proactive, make decisions on his own and evoke admiration from his lady. Absolutely anyone. And not only wants, but can become like that. Of course, it happens that men often “fly in the clouds” regarding some of their desires; for example, they want something, but are clearly unable to do it. But that's not the case here. A man is born with the desire to make decisions himself, to move, do, undertake something and take initiative in relationships with a woman.

I repeat that this is any man. Pathologies, as I wrote above, I do not take into account, since this is an exception.

As an example, consider eagles (such birds). Any eagle is capable of flying after a certain age. But in principle, without any problems, you can raise an eagle so that even in adulthood it will run on its own two legs, but will not fly. He will run clumsily and slowly, because he is so uncomfortable, because he is an eagle, which means he must fly. He will get little prey, since with this method of movement he will not even have enough for himself, not to mention feeding another family with an eagle and eaglets.

What needs to be done in order to raise such a chicken from an eagle? Everything is relatively simple. Just in childhood you need not to push the chick out of the nest so that when it falls, it inevitably learns to fly, but you need to leave it in the nest and constantly bring food to the eagle.

That is, you need to feel sorry for him and take care of him. After all, the chick is scared. Well, the next stage after “regret” should inevitably be “feed”. After all, if a chick cannot fly, then it must be fed, otherwise it will die of hunger. And you need to feed for the rest of your life.

After a few years of such a life, we can say about the eagle that he:

- infantile,
- does not want to take responsibility for his life and for the lives of others,
- he is selfish
- puts decisions on others,
- does not help his wife,
- etc.

Who's arguing? This is true.

But think, how could it be different? Of course not, with such and such an attitude towards the eagle as to a weak chicken.

Secondly, behind every man who “does not want” to transform from an infantile man into a responsible and proactive man, there is an interested woman/women. (less often parent-father)

I hope this does not cause you any internal dispute. After all, if a man became infantile, then someone made him that way. Usually these are parents. And if he continues to remain like this with his wife for quite a long time, it means that everyone is happy with everything.

However, let's remember the axiom of the first point.

Any man instinctively wants and can become an proactive and responsible man with his woman. If this does not happen, then it means there is someone in the environment who completely deprives him of incentives for growth. That is, he continues to make decisions for him, to “take care” of him (without pushing the eagle out of the nest, for example).

As a rule, this is a wife acting together with the man’s mother.

What is the woman's interest? After all, it seems that any woman wants an initiative, responsible, successful and at the same time attentive and caring man. A man who makes decisions. A man who is not at all an infantile child, who is already 30, or even 60 years old.

In reality this is, of course, not the case.

An infantile man next to a woman brings a number of advantages and relatively good dividends.

What are these dividends? There are two standard options here.

Firstly, the girl satisfies her maternal instinct of caring for someone.

The maternal instinct in women is very developed and this is quite natural. However, directing maternal instinct and care to an adult man does not lead to anything good.

Quite often, girls and women with a strong and, most importantly, misdirected maternal instinct, reach the point of absurdity in their behavior. They act as if a man is unable to take care of his basic needs.

And the questions and courtship begin:

“Have you eaten? Then eat."
“Won’t you oversleep?”
“Are you on time for work?”
“Are you wearing a scarf?”
“Did you poop and pee”?

And a completely unbearable concern for a man began. I wrote in detail about what care is for a man and what is not, when it should be shown and when it should not be, I wrote in detail in the book “How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You for Life? or Never run after a man, let Him run after you!”

Surprisingly, some men gradually get used to this behavior on the part of their wife, and begin to behave not even like 5-year-old children, but just like 2-year-old children.

Well, think for yourself. An adult man, or even a guy, lives next to you. Before meeting you, he somehow managed not to die of hunger, not to freeze his ears, somehow to come to work relatively on time and even peed and pooped on his own.

But even now he can do all this on his own, without your reminder, if you don’t run after him and constantly put food in his mouth, wake him up for 30 minutes to work, then check how he got there and whether he’s wearing insulated underpants and how I went to the toilet.

I'm almost sure it can.

However, if a girl or woman cannot keep her maternal instinct under control, then after some time the man will be completely spoiled, and the woman next to him will turn into a servant or a whore who has no interests of her own and her whole life revolves only around the unadapted, an over-aged “baby”.

If a man is lying on the sofa, then who will give him a cell phone if he needs to call? Of course, his girlfriend or wife.

Who will bring you something to drink?

Who will remind you to go to work?

Who is to blame if he is late for work? (If they didn't wake him up) It's clear who. The same girl or woman who is next to him.

Weaning a man away from such behavior over time can be much more difficult than simply not accustoming him to it. I recommend reading about how to gradually wean a man from such behavior, how to make a man responsible and take the initiative, in A. Guy’s book “What Happy Women Are Silent About.” Or How to make a man get off the couch"

I hope that in the next few decades you don’t want to bring your loved one (or rather hated one) slippers, a cell phone and wake him up for work every day (after which you’ll hear that they didn’t wake him up well, since he was late), support your family, because an infantile man will constantly begin to have problems with employers, etc.

What to do?

Obviously, you need to understand this hidden benefit for a woman (satisfying the uncontrollable maternal instinct) and not direct it where it is not necessary.

Secondly, a girl or woman can satisfy her instinct for dominance in the family.

Who is the boss in the family? Who do they listen to? Who makes the final decision? YAYYYYY!!!

It is clear that HE is the one who is an alcoholic, a parasite, childish, who does not really know how to do anything, etc. Naturally, several dozen examples can easily be cited to confirm this. (It happens, of course, that the situation is clinical and irreparable).

The first few years there may be a struggle for power, but at some point the man will feel defeated in an open struggle and all attempts at resistance are pointless. Read about this in the third part, “How to spoil a man.”

Then guerrilla warfare, terrorism and something else like that usually ensue. At the same time, outwardly there may remain subordination, silence, or something else like that. In reality, on the part of the man – alcohol, infidelity, indifference to the family and something else.

It is surprising that in the first and second cases such families are relatively “strong” and relationships last for years and decades. However, I don’t dare call such a relationship happy.

Most often, given the opportunity, such families fall apart as the children grow up. “Caring mothers” are usually abandoned by men, which is a little surprising, since it would seem that they are free servants.

Women leaders, who carry everything, including the man himself, usually leave their husbands themselves. For some reason, they are rarely abandoned, despite the fact that they constantly put pressure on their husband, command, etc., although this also happens.

I think it’s clear that if you don’t realize your hidden benefit from the fact that your man doesn’t show initiative, is childish, indifferent to you, and doesn’t bear responsibility for his and your life, then it will be useless to move on.

If your logic and hidden benefit come into conflict, then the hidden benefit always wins. It has too many advantages. Firstly, it is hidden and you don’t even know what to fight. Secondly, this is habitual behavior and because of this it already has inertia. Often you copy this behavior from the behavior of your mother or grandmother. Read about the development of parental programs in the articles and books of A. Guy, in the section “Relationships between a man and a woman.”

Now that you have realized the hidden benefit, you of course understand its complete harmfulness. After all, if you don’t let a man take the initiative, it’s the same as not letting an eagle fly. He will live, or rather exist. But all his life he will have to somehow compensate for the emptiness inside himself. Certainly he will not be happy and the relationship, and especially the family, with such a man is unlikely to be happy.

Understanding does not always lead to behavior change. For example, many people know that drinking alcohol or overeating is harmful, but not everyone starts eating less or drinking less because of this. (Again, it may have been explained incorrectly or too late). However, understanding is the first step.

Now we move on to the practical part.

Example. At one time I myself was raised by my parents too gently and by the age of 25 I grew up into a rather infantile young man. Although I studied and worked, I didn’t know what to cook, I didn’t know how to manage a family budget, I didn’t know what household duties were, I didn’t know how to make decisions, etc.

However, my future wife apparently sincerely did not understand that she needed to take care of her family, make decisions, earn money, etc. To my questions: “What are we going to do?”, “What should we do here?”, “I don’t understand what’s going on,” etc., she answered simply and usually with a question for a question.

Let's say I asked: “What are we going to do?” And she also looked at me and asked me: “Really, what are we going to do? You will decide, right?! You are a man! And at the same time she batted her beautiful eyes.

What could I do? Should I say that no, I won’t decide, decide for yourself? (If your man answers like this, then this is either a completely neglected case, or he doesn’t care about you. It’s difficult to re-educate someone like that and it’s not worth it).

If this is approximately my version, then re-education to significant changes is possible and occurs relatively easily. The period when you begin to notice changes is about 1-2 months. More or less sustainable and noticeable changes, even for outsiders, will take 3-9 months.

And of course, re-educating a man is most often the need to change your behavior.

What exactly are these changes? I already wrote that this is best written about in the books of Anastasia Gai. In my article I will describe briefly:

— Don’t rush to make your own decisions.

This is habitual behavior and it happens often even when you don't want it to. Track it. Play out several times in your imagination the way you would like to behave, namely, if some (any) problem arises, then do not rush to solve it yourself, even if the solution is completely obvious to you. It’s better to turn to your husband for help, let him think and decide if there’s anything wrong.

It just seems easier to do everything yourself. Yes, today it’s easier to do it yourself. It’s easier to do everything yourself tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. However, is it easier to do everything yourself for 50 years? living together with a man? It's not simpler at all. It’s easier to just devote some time to training, education, or what else to call it, I don’t know, men.

Again. Develop patience and don’t make your own decisions. You can pester the man with questions: “What should I do? Think about it. Do something” so as not to relax, but don’t do it yourself.

- If you nevertheless made a decision, expressed it, achieved implementation, then do not scold yourself. Just play out in your imagination several times how you would like to behave differently, that is, wait until the man makes a decision.

— There are, of course, exceptions when men under 35-50 years old cannot make some decisions on their own, even if in all other respects they seem quite normal. Apparently some kind of genetic defect. These are decisions such as marrying you, having children, picking up your socks and a few others. It can be pointless to wait here; you just need to insist on your own.

— Accept that a man’s first decisions and actions will be far from ideal. But it’s stupid to expect some ideal or even just good decisions and actions from a person who has never done anything in this area.

When I did laundry for the first time, I threw things together different colors and covered everything with powder on top. It is clear what came of this.

When I made soup for the first time, I threw in meat and noodles together. It's clear what the noodles turned into while the meat was still raw.

In your case, the man will also make stupid mistakes. Take them philosophically, and not as a tragedy on a global scale. They are just things or just meat and noodles. Fortunately, my wife perceives things and products this way.

— Take it normally that not everything has to be your way.

If you think so, then you are just a spoiled child and this article will not help you. I have seen many examples of over-expression in families: “It will be as I said.” Moreover, it is surprising that this was only in the family. With strangers, such women always behaved within the bounds of reason.

And if two people live together, then you need to be more flexible. In my family and in all the happy families that I have seen, not everything is my way, or just the way my wife wants. You definitely need to adapt, make compromises, etc.

Therefore, if a man did something not exactly the way you want, then try not to redo it and not argue about every issue. I’m not suggesting that you swallow everything and forget about your interests, but the motto: “It will always be my way, because I’m always right” will not lead to anything good.

- If you behave like a “mother” towards your man, then I simply sympathize with you. Drop everything and just start reworking your roles. Otherwise, the man will wipe his feet on you and then leave you, despite the fact that you have devoted decades of service to him.

Rashid Kirranov,
sun-hands.ru

The topic of the psychology of relations between opposite sexes is inexhaustible. This is because men and women differ not only in their physical characteristics, but also in their way of thinking, perception of situations, decision-making patterns and even gestures!

Sometimes these differences allow people to coexist peacefully with each other, and sometimes they can lead a family or a loving couple to a critical situation. It all depends on people’s reactions to each other, on the culture of communication and on the ability to think about where exactly the truth lies. If both sides approach each other in a balanced manner, it will be easier for them to reach mutual understanding.

What is the difference in the perception of the world between men and women?

Recently, psychologists have identified so-called tunnel vision in men. In fact, this phenomenon was originally attributed specifically to vision as such. That is, it was noted that women have better developed lateral or peripheral vision than men.

This was due to the fact that the man was initially assigned the role of hunter and breadwinner. For him, the main thing was to see the target and see well into the distance. It was important for a woman to look after her home. This strategic position made it necessary for her to ensure that no predator approached the house.

Most of the time, the woman also had to look after the children, of which there were several, and who could scatter in all directions. Hence this good development peripheral vision.

But even in decision-making, a woman can observe in a man what seems to her a certain narrow-mindedness, an inability to correctly assess the situation and take into account all the nuances at once. And here the different psychology of the attitude of a man and a woman to the same problem manifests itself.

She may call his decision hasty. The man will be dissatisfied with the fact that, from his point of view, the woman hesitates and cannot immediately say what she thinks on a specific issue. He may even reproach her for simply not wanting to take responsibility.

What does the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman say about this?

You cannot demand that a woman make a decision without properly assessing the situation. She tries to take into account all the subtleties that she sees around her, to weigh everything, and this takes time. A man makes a decision, looking only in front of himself, that is, exclusively at pressing problems.

And if a woman brings up the problem itself for discussion, then a man brings a ready-made solution. A woman may think that this is selfishness on his part, because he decided everything for everyone himself and did not consult with anyone.

However, this is exactly what he advises. He fearlessly puts up for discussion what he has already tried to solve in some way. He is a man, and energetic action is expected of him, so he is ready to simply come up with some kind of plan, but then discuss it.

A woman, on the other hand, develops a plan without rushing, because usually no one demands decisive action from her. A man may see this as ordinary inaction, although it would be more correct to simply wait and give his significant other time to discuss and weigh all the pros and cons.

In other words, the decision formed by the stronger sex is open to discussion, and the female decision is formed after the discussion has been held. Therefore, in order to achieve harmony in this aspect of marital relations, you need to understand this difference and not rush to conclusions, otherwise the husband will always act like a “tyrant”, and the wife will always be a “mumbler”. In fact, a man must be brave, so he exposes the decision to criticism. A woman must be careful, so she does some reconnaissance first.

Good luck and see you in the next article.

Dependent husband - he cannot make decisions without me

Karina writes:

“I really need advice from a psychologist. I have been married for 5 years, we have a 1.5 year old child. My husband is a weak and spineless man. He absolutely cannot make decisions! When something needs to be done or bought, she immediately runs to me with fear in her eyes, and I have to decide everything myself. A simple example. Our upstairs neighbors flooded us. The husband came with the words: “What should I do?” I explain to him that I need to call the house management so that they can draw up a report, but he can’t, he says that he doesn’t know how, that he’s an uncommunicative person, so that I can do it myself. I sigh and call myself. I'm sick of all this. He can’t even buy clothes for himself, he stands in the store and can’t decide whether to buy him a black T-shirt or a white one, so he buys what I recommend. What can we talk about some big things? Buying a refrigerator is a whole story. I have to plan everything myself, arrange delivery, make sure that they are loaded carefully, etc. And he stands nearby and just watches. I'm already tired of this! Not a man, but the second child in the family. I don't know how to teach him independence. He wasn’t like this before, or I didn’t pay attention.”

Psychologist Tatyana Kapitova answers:

“Karina, you claim that your spouse used to be more independent, or you did not pay attention to this trait of his character. Assuming that he always chose to abstain from active actions, but you didn’t notice it, what exactly was the impetus for you to become annoyed by his indecision? Perhaps some events occurred that made you take a closer look at your family roles and re-evaluate them? The idea occurred to me that, perhaps, previously, next to a dependent spouse, you satisfied your maternal instinct: the husband played the role of a child who could be taken care of, looked after, taught something, set an example, and so on. And then, with the advent of a real child, you stopped needing this function of a husband, and you wanted to see your husband as the head of the family, a protector and a reliable support. But he is already accustomed to playing his “childish” role and relying on you in everything.

It is probably possible to teach him independence. After all, he is an adult and probably can and can do a lot. But why should he try to change something if he has such a skillful wife nearby? Sometimes, in order for a spouse's behavior to change, it makes sense for the other spouse to change their own behavior. Try to loosen your control over your husband's actions a little and give him a chance to prove himself. Most likely, seeing that you are not able to decide something on your own, he will take you under his wing.”

My husband and I have been living together for 15 years, this is not a short period of time, and during this time there have been a lot of bumps, a lot of mistakes have been made. When you start living with a man, you still have no experience in practically anything, but nevertheless you need to build relationships, create a strong family, and there should be love, mutual understanding, trust, etc. in the family. Initially, our model of behavior in the family is influenced by the experience of our parents, girlfriend-advisers, and our own map of the world. In my opinion, it is the experience of our parents that makes the most significant contribution to our family life.

So that you can visually imagine us, I will briefly describe. My husband is a chaleric person (explosive in temperament, but quickly moves away), a very strong-willed personality, smart, well-read, charismatic, straightforward, kind, two meters tall, a handsome, prominent man. I: sanguine, friendly, intelligent, active, charismatic, 170 cm tall, slim, attractive appearance.

At the beginning family relations, I imagined that my husband and I would be equal. I didn’t even want to think about any hierarchy. Only equal relationships in the family can create a friendly happy family- so I was in the clouds. I believed that I was no worse than my husband, I was not inferior to him in anything, and we would share place No. 1 equally with him. We will make any decisions together, both opinions will be taken into account.

From the experience of my parents, I learned the following: the wife gives in in everything, the wife should always be the first to apologize, take all the blame on herself, the man is the main one in the family, the wife should be patient, kind, caring, do everything for the family, often forgetting about herself. The model of this behavior clearly did not suit me; everything inside me was rebelling.

At the time I met my husband, I was surrounded by a lot of attention from my fans; a year before we met, I broke up with the guy with whom I had been in a relationship for 3 years. So, I was spoiled by attention and felt almost like a star. That's why I couldn't imagine that my role would be No. 2.

At first, while the candy-bouquet period was going on, my husband spoiled me, surrounded me with great attention, care, and did crazy things. Dispersed all my fans. I felt loved, desired and happy. In turn, I also did everything so that our relationship was built on trust, love, I gave him a lot of warmth and care. Of course, I couldn’t help but notice how much my husband was different from my previous boyfriend and all my fans. He predicted my actions, had an excellent memory (when you try to lie, it really gets in the way :)), his analytical thinking forced me to strain my brains. This wonderful period usually lasts from six months to 2 years, it’s different for everyone. It lasted a year and a half for us.

After the candy-bouquet period, a lot begins to change. It cannot be said that my husband became different, I became different. You just begin to notice other people, you more actively defend your point of view and your personal space, he is no longer touched by your tears, as if a veil has lifted and you are left with what you have managed to build in this short time.

Coincidentally, in our lives, along with the end of a wonderful period, life difficulties began. It tempered us, life itself changed us, made us stronger, wiser, more patient. Looking ahead, I will say that it is difficult for me to say unequivocally that a family is strengthened by difficulties or vice versa when everything is fine. It depends on the people themselves, some are easily broken by difficulties, others are broken by the carefreeness of an idle life. We had both.

It took me years to realize my place in the family. I came to understanding through religion. It was probably religion that helped me understand myself better, look at myself from the outside, find spiritual harmony and understand the meaning of love. I view religion not as a set of rules and a series of actions, for me it is wisdom, love and a special state of mind.

At a certain point, I realized that I could not compete with my husband. He is certainly stronger than me both in spirit and body. I realized that he is reliable and much of our views coincide. We spent years coming to an understanding and building such relationships. For myself, I clearly realized that I can rely on him and I trust him with my life. I came to understand my femininity, I realized that it is my femininity, my warmth that makes me stronger, even in secondary roles. Of course, each family member should express their opinion and be able to justify it, but the final decision should always rest with one person. There cannot be two captains on a ship. I am pleased to know that our family ship is helmed by a strong captain and we are in good hands. For a man, this is also very important. He must feel like the master of the family, must be aware of his responsibility for the family, must lead the family and be able to be responsible for them. This is very important for self-esteem and strengthening the family.

My friend once asked me how to achieve all this if he cannot make a single decision. Here we can add the wife who is always on edge, because she tries to do everything herself, while claiming that no one will do it for her, how poor and unhappy she is, it is worth noting that only the wife is to blame for this. I have known this family for a very long time, so I perfectly understood where the legs came from. Man is a very lazy creature, our brain tries to save energy and use its resources sparingly. If it were up to him, we would lie in front of the TV for days with a plate of food. You cannot expect such behavior from a person if from the very beginning you tried to steer, decide everything yourself, and are used to suppressing your husband. What exactly can you expect from such a husband? Over time, he will understand that you make all the decisions, that you will nag him again for any of his mistakes, you will still be unhappy with everything even if he tries. A lot of problems accumulate on this basis. The man loses self-confidence. To be fair, I will say that sometimes it is difficult for a man to take on the role of head of the family, because his mother raised him that way.

How can I help? Where to start?

Step #1. Let's start with ourselves. This is one of the most difficult steps, because we don’t like to admit our own mistakes. At this step, it is important to understand for ourselves what we want, we need to realize that there is a problem, we need to evaluate our behavior (look at ourselves from the outside). If you are satisfied with everything, then you don’t have to do anything here, but if not, then you need to be patient and take the next step.

Step #2. When asking for something, watch your tone. Under no circumstances should you order or raise your tone, shout from the next room, etc. Go to your husband and tell him in a kind voice to help you. It should be something small at first. It is with the little things that you need to start. At the same time, it is important to take into account the moment that if he has just come home from work, tired, hungry and angry, there is no need to reach out and ask him to urgently move the closet that you have been telling him about for a month. Let him rest a bit and then proceed.

Step #3. Let's learn to give thanks. For every job you need to say “thank you” or “well done.” It is very important that he realizes that he has done something important and the result of his work has been noticed and appreciated. Next time he will be more willing to get down to business.

Step #4. Hierarchy. All family members must understand who is in charge in the family and everyone must know their place. Getting this idea across is not that difficult. You have dinner, putting food on plates, the first plate for dad, then mom, then the children. And we act this way in everything, first dad, then mom, then children and nothing else.

Step #5. Final decision always behind my husband. Don't try to make decisions on your own out of habit. Talk to your husband, discuss the problem, ask his opinion, express yours. Then ask him what are we going to do? He may, out of inertia, say that you would decide for yourself or he doesn’t care. At this moment, you need to say the magic words: “You are our boss, as you say, we will do it.” Your task is to convey to him the idea that he is in charge and that the last word is expected from him. If you can’t make a decision right away, help him, while emphasizing to him that this is his decision.

Step #6. We learn to act if the husband made the wrong decision. It may turn out that the decision chosen was not entirely correct. Your most important task is to make your husband understand that there is nothing wrong with this and you are on his side, there will be no cutting of nerves. Encourage him, tell him that it’s okay, it’s still good, support him.

Do you know when a relationship, love, respect ends? How does this happen and why are women most often the ones who initiate the breakup of relationships? Many do not even know that resentment = the starting point, analysis = determination of priorities, and heavy silence is the first step to a break.

It so happens that most women do not marry for love. Each has a calculation. Counting on well-being, respect, a strong family. What about love? So it comes, goes, then appears again out of nowhere and disappears just as quickly. A rare lucky woman marries for great love and lives with one person all her life. This happens only when love becomes meaningful, desired, and, what is very important for a woman, analyzed! We can talk a lot about this, but now we will talk about what every man who cares about relationships must pay attention to.

Resentment

It all starts with resentment. Right away, perhaps small, almost imperceptible. It then goes away, but the residue remains. Men rarely notice how they offend a woman, insult her with a careless word and simply joke, considering their humor sparkling and brilliant. And women, by nature, are a little vindictive and touchy. Over time, these small grievances become more and more numerous, and the attitude towards the man changes for the worse. It is at this moment that he should sound the alarm. But the majority prefers to attribute the behavior of their beloved to whims, PMS and bad weather. In general, for anything except yourself. It is very important not to miss the time when a woman begins to harbor grievances.

How to recognize this condition:

She speaks little and prefers to silently go about her business;

He often goes to sleep in another room and begins to cover himself with another blanket, citing the fact that sleeping under one is uncomfortable or hot;

Refuses sex, going to the cinema or restaurant together;

She cooks without any desire, although quite recently she never parted with her bowls and pots;

Coming home from work, she no longer talks about how the day went and does not ask the man about his affairs;

When asked to do something, she sends the man to do it on his own, having first come up with an important activity for himself (although she has never refused before);

She prefers to do her shopping on her own, and even goes shopping for groceries alone;

Suddenly he stops spending a lot of money on cosmetics and trinkets, and ostentatiously buys everything with his own money.

A woman’s “offensive state” can last for more than one month, and it is always very noticeable. No, this does not mean that she has someone else: many women break up with men simply and without pain, having analyzed everything beforehand.

It's not too late to stop this and prevent the moment when a woman begins to think and evaluate your relationship.

Do not leave a woman alone after a quarrel or scandal.

If you see that she is offended, ask for forgiveness, make a cup of coffee, run for a flower, or, in the end, just do what she asked. Loose nails, a leaking faucet, a fallen tile or a torn baseboard can remain in this state for months - men do not pay attention to this and ignore women’s requests to repair and tidy up.

Try to ask the woman questions that she will simply be obliged to answer.

Take the children to the garden, prepare breakfast in the morning, do homework with the child, allow your woman to watch a TV series or her favorite show. And let it be to the detriment of your beloved football, but if you value relationships, you need to smooth out corners and make peace, and not shift reconciliation onto the shoulders of a woman.

Analysis and evaluation of relationships

Sooner or later, grievances cease to touch a woman’s heart, and a new stage begins: analysis of relationships. A woman begins to look for shortcomings in life together, looks at the man’s behavior, evaluates his habits. Oddly enough, there are always many flaws that she never paid attention to. This worsens the relationship even more. It turns out that a man throws his panties in the corner, rather than putting them in the basket, fancies himself a great lover, complains a lot, buys all sorts of small things instead of saving up for something substantial...

Once a woman starts looking for flaws and flaws in her man, the relationship always gets worse. And it will be very difficult to get back on track with normal relationships.

Preparation

When a woman has passed the stage of analyzing the relationship, she makes a decision for herself: should she continue to live together, or should she seriously think about breaking up. If the decision is not made in favor of the relationship, then moral preparation for separation begins and the selection of the moment when the man finds out about it. It is no longer possible to stop this process. Neither apologies, nor flowers, nor pleas or threats, and even an expensive diamond ring, which men consider a panacea for any quarrel, will no longer help. However, the woman will no longer accept the gift: she doesn’t need it.

It’s funny, but this type of “decomposition” of relationships is chosen by the majority of women who initiate the breakup. It doesn’t matter whether it was an official marriage or a civil one, but this behavior allows a woman to leave almost painlessly. What a man feels at these moments does not matter.

Male inattention so often destroys wonderful relationships, turns successful and even successful ones into ruins. happy marriages, sows loneliness and becomes the cause of general female discontent... Perhaps, dear men, it’s worth taking a look from the outside at what’s happening in your home? Before it's too late...

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