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To discover new approaches to parenting for ourselves and our readers, we decided to contact parents living in countries whose culture is not often made public. Our interlocutors happily shared their observations and told us what parenthood looks like in their countries. Many features are not written about in books or in films, but they deserve attention because they are part of world culture, responsible for shaping the future society.
Today we are sharing the most interesting moments from the stories of our respondents especially for website.
Holland
Children in Holland are allowed to live their childhood the way they themselves wish: to walk through puddles, run barefoot, roll in the sand and, if they so choose, noisily express their dissatisfaction in public places, without fear of harsh looks from the outside. Everything is possible. Children live carefree and explore the world at their own pace. Don’t rush with mom to 48 clubs and sections early development at less than 3 years old. The Dutchman will say: “Everything has its time.”
But, despite the apparent complete freedom from the outside, children are not allowed to cross the boundaries set by their parents. And at the same time, “no” for the Dutch is a clear limitation without the opportunity to shift towards “yes”.
What Dutch parents pay attention to from birth is teaching their baby to swim, developing coordination (on average, by the age of 4, everyone here is already riding a two-wheeled bicycle) and strengthening the immune system - a minimum of medications, a maximum of fresh air and hardening of the child’s body.
Ghana
In Ghana, very few mothers can afford to stay at home with the baby after giving birth; more often the child either stays with the grandmother, or goes to the nursery, or accompanies the mother to work tied behind her back.
Here the whole family is ready to work hard so that the son or daughter can get an education, so that later the grown-up children, in turn, work and support the whole family. Teenagers are sometimes sent to be kept by wealthier relatives, where they serve in exchange for the opportunity to live and study, for example in the capital.
Ghanaian children are not to be envied. Many of them are deprived of the joy of childhood and dream of growing up quickly so that they can finally be among the “privileged caste” of adults. And this is not surprising for the following reasons.
- Corporal punishment is still practiced in many schools.
- The simplest things, such as candy or ice cream, become something special and desirable.
- Cleaning, washing dishes and other simple tasks in many families are completely entrusted to children. Locals even joke: “We finally have a child and we don’t have to wash dishes for the rest of our days.”
My 2-year-old son, who is growing up in an atmosphere of relative freedom, evokes a variety of emotions among local residents: some look at him with condemnation, others, on the contrary, looking at him, begin to regret that they are preventing their children from developing, driving them into boundaries, which society dictates.
But there are also things that I really like about Ghanaian children - their respect for adults, hard work, independence and great motivation to study - the only chance for many to succeed in life.
Italy
Italians are very attentive to safety issues, they support and control the child at every step. But at the same time they are completely calm about food. Chips for an afternoon snack don’t bother them at all; even pediatricians recommend popcorn as a snack, and for stomach pain, give half a glass of cola on an empty stomach.
Children's problems are equal to those of adults. The phrases “Don’t interrupt, you see, adults are talking!” you won't hear from Italian parents. They talk to children in simple language, reason and solve their problems as with an adult. School teachers treat children with respect; there are no forced schoolchildren on duty here, there are only children who kindly help clean up the mess.
Adults, acquaintances or not, constantly compliment children on any occasion. Therefore, they are very confident in themselves and know that they will always find support in their environment.
Aggression in society is at a very low level. Fights among schoolchildren are very rare. The concept of “fight back” does not exist in principle. But teenagers, when they see the baby, will definitely say “Ciao!” to him, ask his name and how old he is. There is no shame in a 15-year-old boy playing on the street with a passing child.
Syria
Syrian families are looking forward to heirs, boys who will take care of all their relatives in the future. Therefore, if a girl is born, local families try to continue the family until a male baby appears.
Before school, as a rule, children are with their mother; during school time they usually study according to the program (not everyone can afford tutors for schoolchildren and clubs for children). In their free time from school, boys work, helping their father at work and doing small errands (the value of such work is instilled in them from the cradle), and girls stay with their mothers, helping around the house.
Most children grow up and continue the work of their parents. Of course, there are those who go to study abroad, for medical or military specialties (before the war, most Syrians studied in the USSR and the Russian Federation), but this is quite expensive, so it is not very common.
But in general, as my Syrian husband says, in Russia children are elevated to a cult, they are untouchable and everything around them is subordinate to them. In Syria, the situation is exactly the opposite: children live according to their parents’ schedule, no one adapts to them and does not particularly bother with their daily routine.
Egypt
She told us about the attitude of Egyptians towards children Ryan, a professional journalist whose family lives in Cairo.
Children in Egypt are a universal object of adoration, regardless of age and gender. Wherever you go with your child, you will be welcome. If a child starts to get hysterical, the Egyptians will smile, try to help calm the baby and will never reproach you, regardless of whether you are in a restaurant, in a park or on public transport.
Some expats perceive such displays of love as a violation of personal boundaries, but most mothers here feel free and confident wherever they go with their children. True, sometimes they relax too much and do not stop the child, even when he goes too far.
If you ask me what Egyptian mothers are like, I will say that they are relaxed. They are not afraid of children's tantrums, do not run to the hospital at any sneeze, do not study kilometers of literature, relying on their own instinct. By the way, here with early age They feed the children chips and drink Coca-Cola, which scares me a little.
But despite this, I am impressed by the ability of Egyptian mothers to let go of the situation, their calmness and self-confidence. And this is exactly what I want to learn.
South Africa
South African children often have very good immunity, since, having barely learned to walk, they run barefoot everywhere (from the grass near the house to the cold tiled floor of the shopping center) and in any weather.
Children here are perceived as ordinary members of society; they are not overprotected or put the interests of the child above all else. Relatives play a very important role in raising children and can unceremoniously interfere in family affairs. Nobody demands the impossible from children: they spend their days playing and studying.
By the way, about education: here, expenses related to children's education make up, perhaps, the largest part of all family expenses. State schools and kindergartens are paid, private schools are also paid, only even more expensive. And not all poor families understand the importance of education; their children strive to start “earning” money as early as possible. They can often be found begging on the roads during school hours.
Malaysia and Norway
She told us about these countries Daria, whose family once traded the hot Malaysian climate for the Norwegian snows.
Kindergartens in Malaysia are public, free, and private. Private kindergartens are divided into private local and international.
My children went to a local private kindergarten.
The entire education system is based on rote learning, and 3-year-old children have a huge amount of textbooks and homework to do. In the kindergarten, children study mathematics, drawing, English and Malay at their desks every day. Chinese if desired. Children from Muslim families are required to attend religion classes.
Kindergarten in Norway is completely different.
There are no desk classes here. Children are free in their choice: there is a Lego area with many different parts, and construction sets - magnetic, Velcro, etc. Paper and pencils, soft toys, kitchen with dishes - everything is freely available, and the child himself decides what to do.
There is a separate room for studying the environment, it has everything you need: microscopes, magnifying glasses, tweezers and flasks. Also a separate room for role playing games: hospital, shop. A special room for crafts, where glue, yarn, colored paper, sparkles and the favorite of all 5-year-olds - thermomosaic.
Walks in any weather twice a day. In summer, all activities are outside, including even lunch. Once a week, a trip to the forest with a thermos of hot cocoa and delicious sandwiches.
The kindergartens are not free, but the price is fixed for the number of days attended. Open from 6:45 to 17:00.
From 4 to 7 years old, almost all the children in our village go to the so-called “Montessori” - like kindergartens at the temple, where, of course, no one follows the Montessori method, the children just sing, draw, dance and once every six months they organize reporting concerts for the whole village.
Children begin to wear uniforms when they enter kindergarten, and their color changes depending on age and educational institution. At the same time, hairstyles are part of the uniform for girls: they go to kindergarten with 2 ponytails, and to school with 2 braids tied with red ribbons.
Sri Lanka ranks 2nd in Asia in terms of educated population. From the very birth of a child, parents begin to save money for his education, although universities and colleges are free for citizens. But in order to get into a university, you need to pass a serious final exam, so from the age of 12, children are prepared for admission.
Girls are raised a little more closed than boys. They are taught that there is no need to compete with a man, everyone has their own place and purpose in life, and there is a grain of truth in this.
I take what seems reasonable to me in Sri Lankan and Russian culture, make a fiery mix and serve it with fresh fruit on my kids' dinner table. And I believe that everything is happening correctly.
The world is so huge, but in every corner there are parents who know exactly how to raise a child happy, and are ready to do everything possible for this. Tell us, which approach to education is closer to you? What countries would you be interested in reading about next?
IN modern world The boundaries between cultures are erased and the differences are no longer so noticeable. However, even today, raising children in different countries may vary greatly.
Traditions of raising children in Russia
Women in Russia are mainly responsible for raising children. This can be seen both in the family and in educational institutions. Until recently, mothers were happy to stay at home with their children until 2-3 years after birth. Now the situation is changing and more and more children are being entrusted to the care of grandmothers and nannies.Our folk traditions in raising children are associated with folklore. Fairy tales, sayings, songs are a rich cultural heritage. These works not only entertain the reader and listener, but also always have an educational aspect.
The heroes of fairy tales fight evil, show ingenuity, love of life and optimism. The proverbs represent all the accumulated folk wisdom. Folk songs demonstrate the patriotism, fortitude and spiritual wealth of the Russian people. It is important for parents to introduce their children to folklore from childhood. The beauty of these works can be appreciated by a 1.5-2 year old child.
Traditions of raising children in the USA
There are several in the USA characteristic features raising kids. For example, grandparents almost never help a young family, and the role of the father in upbringing is much higher than in Russia.By tradition, the upbringing of children in the United States from an early age is entrusted to experienced nannies. Mothers legally go back to work three months after giving birth, entrusting all care of the child’s care and upbringing to professional nannies or babysitters. When parents are free, it is customary to attend any events with their child. A young American may attend a party for the first time in infancy. All cafes, bars, restaurants have places for children and a children's menu.
Traditions of raising children in India
In India, families are usually large and a baby always has several brothers and sisters. People are taught to treat society as if they were their own big family. Traditionally, raising children from an early age is combined with their education. Preparatory school classes actually correspond to our kindergarten, and a child can start studying as early as 2-3 years old. Schools are chosen to pay fees if the family has at least a little material wealth. Indians believe that the level of knowledge children receive in municipal (free) schools is very low, so sending their children to study there is not prestigious.According to tradition, raising children in India is based on the basic tenets of Hinduism. This is the main religion professed by the majority of the country’s population, in the light of which children are taught to restrain emotions, demonstrate strength of spirit and optimism in life, and control not only their actions, but also their thoughts. India's rich cultural heritage influences artistic development the younger generation. Music, dancing, and songs educate children to appreciate the beauty and harmony of the world around them.
Raising Children in Japan
Parenting in Japan has changed a lot in recent years. Previously, girls got married at an early age and devoted themselves to their families. The role of grandparents in raising children was very high.Nowadays, Japanese women pay more attention to education and career. They are already getting married in mature age and try to live separately from their parents. A Japanese family rarely has more than 1-2 children.
Raising children in Japan requires prior familiarity with computers, consumer electronics, and the Internet. Very often, a Japanese schoolchild’s closest friends are virtual acquaintances or toy robots. It is not customary to take children out of town for the summer. Therefore, even on hot days, the guys sit at home a lot at the computer, and I practically never spend time in nature. Direct communication with peers is also not of great value to them.
Japanese children are taught to excel and dedicate themselves to work. From early childhood, a child can decide (with the help of his parents) the company where he will work for the rest of his life. Such devotion to the employer is also folk tradition Japan.
Raising children in different countries of the Muslim world
Raising children in different countries of the Muslim world has much in common. Until the age of three, all babies are entrusted to the mother and other women. After this age, sons are raised by their fathers.Women's education is much inferior to men's. Girls from an early age are encouraged to marry early and be submissive to their future spouse.
Of course, there are countries where these trends are not so obvious. For example, in secular states of the Islamic world, girls have the opportunity to receive higher education and even work. But the main value for a Muslim woman always remains family.
In most countries in our time, modern education, based on the results of the latest scientific developments of teachers and psychologists, is replacing traditional education of children. This trend has both positive and negative aspects. It is important for parents to remember, no matter what path of education they choose, children should grow up in an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding.
All parents on our vast planet, without any doubt, experience a great feeling of love for their children. However, in each country, fathers and mothers raise their children differently. This process is greatly influenced by the way of life of the people of a particular state, as well as existing national traditions. How does raising children differ in different countries of the world?
Ethnopediatrics
Being a parent is the most important and honorable activity in every person's life. However, a child is not only a joy, but also constant troubles that are associated with caring for him and raising him. Different nations have different approaches to shaping the personality of a little person. Raising children in different countries of the world has its own pedagogical methods, which each nation considers to be the only correct ones.
To study all these differences, an entire science was created not long ago - ethnopedagogy. Its findings will likely lead to a better understanding of human nature and the development of an optimal way of education.
Reassurance
Babies all over the world often start screaming. This is the moment when not so much the psyche of fathers and mothers, but their connections with cultural roots, undergoes a serious test. The fact that children cry a lot in the first months of their lives is normal for newborns of any nation. In Western European countries, the mother responds to the cry of a child in about one minute. The woman will take her child in her arms and try to calm him down. If a child was born in a country where primitive civilizations of gatherers and hunters still exist, then he will cry as often as all other newborns, but in half as much time. The mother will respond to his cry within ten seconds and bring him to her chest. Children of such nationalities are fed without any schedule and without observing the regime. In some Congolese tribes there is a peculiar division of labor. Here the babies are fed and nurtured by several specific women.
Today, a child's crying is treated somewhat differently. The baby's right to demand attention is recognized. For the first six months of his life, with his cry, he lets you know that he wants to be shown love and care, to be picked up, etc.
Weaning
And there is no single approach to this issue. Thus, many Hong Kong mothers wean their babies as early as six weeks to go to work. In America, people only breastfeed for a few months. However, mothers of some nations continue to breastfeed their children even at an age when they have already gone beyond infancy.
Laying down
The dream of all parents is a good night's sleep for their child. How to achieve it? And here there are radically different opinions, taking into account the upbringing of children in different countries of the world. Thus, Western manuals and reference books give recommendations that the baby should not sleep during the daytime. Only in this case will he get tired and calm down by the evening. In other countries, parents do not have such a task. For example, Mexicans put children to sleep in hanging hammocks during the day, and take them to their own beds at night.
Development
The characteristics of raising children in different countries of our planet can differ significantly from each other. However, regardless of culture and folk customs, a child’s development will be accelerated only if he is constantly taught. But not all parents share this opinion. For example, in Denmark and Holland they believe that rest for a child is much more important than efforts to develop intelligence. In the Congo, it is not customary to talk to a newborn. The mothers of this country believe that the main business of their babies is to sleep. Due to the fact that the upbringing of children in different countries is so different, there are also significant differences in motor and speech development children, depending on their belonging to a particular culture and race.
For example, UNICEF data indicate an effective method of education adopted by one of the Nigerian peoples - the Yoruba. Here, babies spend the first three to five months of their lives in a sitting position. To do this, they are placed between pillows or placed in special holes in the ground. Ninety percent of such children are already at two summer age are able to wash themselves, and thirty-nine percent are able to wash their plates.
Yes, the traditions of raising children in different countries differ significantly from each other. But no matter what tactics parents choose, their child will still cry and laugh, learn to walk and talk, because the development of any child is a continuous, gradual and natural process.
Variety of education systems
How to make a child a personality? This question faces all parents on our planet. However, there is no single manual that allows you to solve this problem. That is why every family must choose the right system for raising their child. And this task is very important, because in childhood a model of behavior and character of a little person is being formed.
Mistakes made in the educational process can be very, very expensive in the future. Of course, each child is individual in his own way, and only parents can choose the most suitable one for him. effective methods. And for this it is important to familiarize yourself with how children are raised in different countries and choose the best for yourself.
German system
What are the features of raising children in different countries of the world? Let's start considering this issue with German pedagogical methods. As you know, the main difference between this nation lies in frugality, punctuality and organization. German parents instill all these qualities in their children from a very early age.
Families in Germany start late. Germans get married before the age of thirty, but are in no hurry to have children. The spouses are aware of the responsibility of this step and strive to create a solid financial foundation even before the birth of their first child.
Kindergartens in Germany operate part-time. Parents cannot do without the help of a nanny. And this requires money, and a lot of it. Grandmothers in this country do not sit with their grandchildren. They prefer to live their own lives. Mothers, as a rule, are building a career, and the birth of a child can negatively affect getting another position.
However, having decided to have a child, the Germans approach this very scrupulously. They change their housing to a more spacious one. The search for a pediatrician nanny is also underway. From birth, children in German families are accustomed to a strict regime. They go to bed around eight in the evening. TV viewing is strictly regulated. Preparations for kindergarten are underway. For this purpose, there are play groups where children go with their mothers. Here they learn to communicate with peers. In kindergarten, German children are not taught literacy and numeracy. They are instilled with discipline and told how to play by all the rules. In a preschool institution, a child has the right to choose any activity for himself. This could be riding a bike or playing in a special room.
The child learns to read and write in elementary school. Here they instill a love of knowledge by conducting lessons in game form. Parents teach the student to plan his daily activities by keeping a special diary for this. At this age, children have their first piggy bank. They try to teach the child to manage his budget.
Japanese system
Examples of raising children in different countries of our vast planet may have significant differences. So, unlike Germany, Japanese children under five or six years old are allowed almost everything. They can draw on the walls with felt-tip pens, dig flowers out of pots, etc. Whatever the baby does, the attitude towards him will be patient and friendly. The Japanese believe that in early childhood a baby should fully enjoy life. At the same time, children are vaccinated good manners, are taught to be polite and aware that they are part of the whole society.
With the advent of school age, the attitude towards the child changes. His parents treat him with the utmost severity. At the age of 15, according to the inhabitants of the Land of the Rising Sun, a person should be completely independent.
The Japanese never raise their voices to their children. They do not give them lengthy and tedious lectures. The biggest punishment for a child is the moment when he is left alone and no one wants to talk to him. This pedagogical method is very powerful, as Japanese children are taught to communicate, make friends and be part of a team. They are constantly being told that a person alone cannot cope with all the intricacies of fate.
Japanese children have a strong bond with their parents. The explanation for this fact lies in the behavior of mothers, who do not seek to assert their authority through blackmail and threats, but are the first to seek reconciliation. Only indirectly does a woman show how upset she is by her child’s misdeed.
American system
How does raising a child work in the USA? In different countries of the world (in Germany, Japan, and many others), pedagogical methods do not provide for strict punishment. However, only American children know their responsibilities and rights so well that they can go to court to hold their parents accountable. And this is not surprising, because in this country part of the upbringing process is to explain the child’s freedoms.
A characteristic feature of the American style is the habit of attending any event with your children. And all this because not everyone can afford nanny services in this country. However, at home, each child has his own room, where he must sleep separately from his parents. Neither dad nor mom will run to him for any reason, indulging all his whims. According to psychologists, such a lack of attention leads to the fact that in adulthood a person becomes withdrawn and nervous.
In America they take punishment very seriously. If parents deprive their child of the opportunity to play a computer game or go for a walk, then they must explain the reason for their behavior.
American children very rarely attend kindergartens. Many parents believe that by sending their child to such an institution, they will deprive him of his childhood. At home, mothers rarely work with their babies. As a result, they go to school unable to read or write.
Of course, freedom in the educational process contributes to the emergence of creative and independent individuals. However, disciplined workers are a rarity in this country.
French system
This state has seriously developed early education child. In different countries, as we have already seen, this happens in different ways, but in France for children preschool age many manuals and books are published, and a large number of educational institutions. Raising children from 1 to 2 years old is especially important for French mothers. They go to work early and want their child to be as independent as possible by the age of two.
French parents treat their children quite gently. They often turn a blind eye to their pranks, but reward them for good behavior. If a mother still punishes her child, she will definitely explain the reason for such a decision so that it does not seem unreasonable.
Little Frenchies learn from childhood to be polite and follow all regimes and rules. Moreover, everything in their life depends only on the decision of their parents.
Russian system
There are big differences in raising children in different countries of the world. Russia has its own pedagogical methods, which often differ from those that guide parents in other countries on our planet. In our country, unlike Japan, there has always been an opinion that a child should begin to be taught even when he can be laid across the bench. In other words, instill in him social rules and norms from a very young age. However, today Russia has undergone some changes. Our pedagogy has gone from authoritarian to humanistic.
Raising children from 1.5 to 2 years old is of no small importance. This is a period of improving previously acquired skills and understanding one’s place in the world around us. In addition, this is the age of clear manifestation of the baby’s character.
Scientists have established the fact that a child receives almost 90% of information about the world around him in the first three years of his life. He is very active and interested in everything. Russia's parents try not to interfere with him in this. Teaching the baby to be independent is also in order. Many mothers do not try to pick up their child at the first fall. He must overcome difficulties himself.
The age from 1.5 to 2 years is the most active. However, despite their mobility, babies are not at all distinguished by dexterity. Not even five minutes pass before they are sure to get into something. The Russian pedagogy system recommends not to scold little researchers and to be tolerant of their pranks.
Raising children 3 years old affects the period of personality formation. These babies require a lot of attention and patience. The next few years of life are the years when the main character traits of a little person are formed, and also when an idea of the norm of behavior in society is formed. All this will affect the child’s actions in his future adult life.
Raising 3-year-old children will require a lot of self-control from parents. During this period, teachers recommend patiently and calmly explaining to the child why mom and dad are not satisfied with his behavior. At the same time, it should be emphasized special attention on the fact that the child’s misdeed greatly upsets the parents, and then switch attention from the conflict to something interesting. Russian teachers recommend not to humiliate or beat a child. He should feel equal to his parents.
The goal of raising a child in Russia is the formation of a creative and harmoniously developed personality. Of course, for our society it is considered normal for a father or mother to raise their voice to their child. They may even spank the child for one or another offense. However, all Russian parents strive to protect their child from negative experiences and worries.
There is a whole network operating in our country preschool institutions. Here children learn communication skills with peers, writing and reading. Attention is paid to physical and mental development child. All this is done through sports activities and group games.
For Russian education, a traditional feature is the development creativity children, as well as identifying their talents. For this purpose, kindergartens hold classes in drawing, singing, modeling, dancing, etc. It is customary to compare the successes of children, causing a sense of competition in children.
In elementary school in Russia, the holistic development and formation of the child’s personality is ensured. In addition, raising children is aimed at developing the desire and ability to learn.
In elementary school, all subjects are selected in such a way that the child develops a correct understanding of work and man, society and nature. For a more complete and harmonious development individuals are given optional classes on foreign languages, physical training, etc.
Parents all over the world love their children equally. At the same time, views on raising the younger generation are very dependent on the traditions and customs of the country in which the family lives. And what may seem unacceptable to representatives of one country is considered the norm in another corner of our planet. Let's see how education systems in different countries of the world are similar and different.
European education systems
Despite the fact that European countries have united into the European Union, they have not lost their authenticity, which has developed over many years. The main values characteristic of the European education system are freedom, independence, and individuality. How these qualities are brought up in a child depends on the specific country.
In Scandinavian countries, love for children is expressed through the provision of complete freedom. The child is not limited in the choice of activities, hobbies, toys; the daily routine is not strictly followed. The main task of education, according to the Scandinavians, is to develop the child’s creative abilities. At the same time, adults very carefully monitor the safety of the baby in everything.
In schools and kindergartens, children are taught to be able to explain their point of view and defend it. Most of the learning takes place in a playful way. The use of any violent actions as pedagogical measures is excluded, and in Sweden it is prohibited by law. Parents also cannot raise their voices at their child, or, moreover, raise their hand to him (this is strictly monitored social services). Children have the right to complain against their parents, and this will lead to severe consequences, including deprivation of parental rights.
In Sweden, children are raised in such a way that they are well aware of their rights from an early age. Considered a full-fledged legal entity, a child can sue his parents if they resort to harsh parenting methods.
In Norway, due to its climatic conditions, parents pay great attention to the health of their children. Children should eat only healthy foods (including homemade milk, fish, meat), and also spend a lot of time outside. Even classes in kindergartens are more aimed at physical development than mental development. Parents allow their kids to poke around in the ground, play in the water, and encourage other types of exploratory activities, wanting to strengthen the child’s immunity.
From an early age, French children are taught to be independent. In this country, the opportunity to realize oneself as an individual is highly valued, so establishing close contact with a child is not as important as his independence. In France, children begin to develop independence from a very early age. From 3 months, children are usually placed in a separate crib. Preschool children are enrolled in all sorts of clubs and sections so that parents can take care of themselves and their work. Grandparents do not take an active part in raising their grandchildren, since French old people, like young people, are free from obligations and live for their own pleasure. The style of raising children in France is democratic and gentle. At the same time, education is based not on punishment, but on encouraging good behavior.
Approach to raising children in Germany
In Germany, children are raised in strictness and order. The child is forbidden to go to bed late, play on the computer for a long time and watch TV; the life of children is subject to rules. Independence is also the goal of education, but it is expressed not in freedom of choice, but in responsibility for one’s actions. It is customary for German parents to take an active life position, and they are convinced that the child should not interfere with this. Mothers with infants visit cafes, parks, and meet with friends. Children often hire a nanny with a medical education. From the age of 3, a child is usually sent to kindergarten. There, children are taught in a playful way not reading and counting, but the rules of behavior in society and discipline.
Family ties in Spain are very strong. In families, it is customary to praise children, pamper them, and allow everything. Parents are calm about their child’s whims and tantrums, even if they happen in public places. Spanish parents spend almost everything with their children free time, fathers participate in upbringing on an equal basis with mothers. Despite the seemingly permissive parenting style that is common in Spain, parental responsibilities are strictly enshrined in law. Child abuse, psychological pressure or intimidation leads to deprivation of parental rights.
Features of raising children in England
The English approach to education is characterized by seriousness and thoroughness. Residents of England often become parents in adulthood and strive to raise their children into true ladies and gentlemen. The peculiarity of raising children in England lies mainly in the fact that emotions towards the child are not shown openly and ostentatiously. A child’s ability to manage his emotions, and sometimes extinguish them, is considered an indicator of “good manners.”
British children are like little adults. WITH early years They are instilled with impeccable manners and taught to be reserved.
Asian education systems
Raising children in Asia is significantly different from the European concept. Religion and cultural traditions have a great influence on the relationship between children and parents.
How children are raised in Japan
Until the age of 5, children in Japan are allowed everything. This age is considered the time when a child needs freedom. But when it comes to children's compliance with the rules of etiquette, parents feel entitled to resort to harsh punishments. Corporal punishment is not practiced in this country. If the child has violated the rules of decency, the parents will explain everything to him in words. In Japan, children are taught to be polite and respect their elders. In addition, it is important for Japanese parents that their children feel part of society and the state from an early age.
Raising children in China is aimed at raising geniuses. Already in infancy, children are sent to nurseries, where their daily routine is scheduled minute by minute. Mothers not only enroll their children in various sections and clubs, but also study the latest techniques early development. Chinese children constantly need to be busy with something useful that contributes to their intellectual development. Interestingly, in China there is no division of responsibilities based on gender: for example, girls are taught to hammer nails and tighten nuts just like boys, while boys help with housework.
Respect for elders is instilled in Chinese children from an early age. Chinese culture requires from the younger generation such qualities as discipline, tremendous hard work, and a sense of collectivism.
In India, parents teach their children to help with housework from an early age. Mothers are mainly involved in upbringing; it is they who teach children to honor their elders, take care of nature, and be hardworking. Indian parents are very patient, they rarely yell at their children and are understanding of children's whims. Most Indians are very friendly and welcoming - these qualities have been ingrained in them since childhood.
American education system
The peculiarities of raising children in the United States are largely determined by democratic values. In America, the issue of legal regulation of parent-child relationships is hotly debated, and children themselves often go to court with complaints about infringement of their rights. At the same time, most American families are strong, and relationships within families are friendly. In America, it is customary to celebrate holidays with family, spend evenings together, and travel. Children are taken with them everywhere or use the services of a nanny. Many women work as housewives, so they do not need to send their children to kindergarten. Mothers themselves teach their children, but they do not strive to teach their child to read and write as early as possible (this is done in elementary school). If a child does not obey, time-outs are often used as punishment. It consists of leaving the baby alone for a few minutes so that he can calm down. How older child, the longer the timeout duration.
The approach to raising children depends significantly on where the family comes from and what country the family lives in. This is influenced by many factors, such as the traditions and customs of the country, religion, socio-demographic situation, climate, etc. Knowledge about what systems of raising children exist in different countries of the world allows us to better understand our own ideas about upbringing. Each parent builds their own unique relationship with their child. But it is important to remember that education is not only about reward and punishment, this process is multifaceted and occurs throughout life. In addition, education is not always purposeful; children learn a lot simply by observing the behavior of adults and peers.
Conclusion
In modern psychological and pedagogical literature You can come across many methods of raising children. The most widespread and effective is the M. Montessori method. You can be sure that when you come to the Constellation children's center, your child will get to see a professional teacher who, without lectures or threats, will instill in him independence, self-confidence and respect for others. We are waiting for you at our children's development center!
France. They don't raise children. Children are raised
“I have two children. Our son is graduating from school this year, and our daughter entered first grade just in the year we moved. From the very first day I observed and, willy-nilly, compared, “how is it with them?” Because of my husband's work, we moved several times and changed three regions of France. Therefore, I can draw some general conclusions about French children and parents,” says Ella.
“At one time, the book of the American Pamela Druckerman, “French Children Don’t Spit Food,” received a huge response. So much so that “our answer to Chamberlain” even came out. “Russian children don’t spit at all,” Margarita Zavorotnyaya called her book. But, hand on heart, let’s admit: this is not so! Children are noisy, playful and capricious. The only question is how adults react to this.
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The way the French respond to children's misbehavior is influenced by societal pressures for tolerance. Yes, I heard a young teacher scream and scold a 6-year-old student in the pool. I saw mother geese pulling their babies aside and hissing in their ears. I know of a father who slapped his teenage daughter in the middle of the street in Nice. But this is an exception. Showing open aggression in French society is not only not accepted, but also punishable.
Starting from middle school, children are regularly surveyed, sometimes anonymously. And as soon as the child complains that “mom sometimes spanks me,” things immediately get under way. The child leaves lessons on the same day to foster family, and his parents have been trying to meet him for several months. I was told about a woman who came to school every morning for 6 months to see from inside her car how strangers were bringing her daughter to classes. She herself could only follow her little girl with her eyes.
When my 15-year-old son returned home from his new high school, he complained that the classroom was too noisy. “What about the teacher?” – I asked. “Well, once he said “sil vu ple!”, but everyone made noise and continued.” Discipline in lessons in French schools is a separate issue. Teachers rarely make comments. Their task is to transfer knowledge, and not to educate your children. Probably, teachers are not “pressured” from above, even if the entire class writes a test for 2 points. Academic performance is a personal matter for students. Paid tutoring is not as widespread as in Russian schools. Preparing for and passing the BAC (French Unified State Exam) is stressful and a lot of work. But not pumping money out of parents' wallets. By the way, I still don’t know how the graduation will go. But there’s only a month left before the end of the year!”
“At meetings that are held as individual meetings with each teacher (recording is done in advance and strictly on time, no more than 15 minutes for each), the child is not reprimanded. Rather, they give advice. The English teacher puzzled me with a question: “Do you think your son is happy here? Does he have friends?
As for my daughter, the surprises began from the first day. It took us 1 working day to get her into school. If you have a child, you need school. Children must study! On September 1, a smiling monsieur came up to us and explained that since our girl did not yet speak French, he would give her individual lessons several times a week. I remember this teacher with gratitude. By Christmas our daughter was babbling as well as the French girls. It didn't cost us a centimeter. This government program integration of children.
At the end of each academic year The school management asks: “Would you like to repeat this class?” What does it mean: “Do you want to keep your child for a second year?” And 1-2 students from the class “repeat.” Voluntarily. To succeed in the future. By the way, “stepping” through the classroom is also not prohibited.
The French, as Pamela Druckerman accurately noted, do not educate, but “raise” children. They are not scolded for torn or dirty things. Parents won't yell if their baby breaks a plate at dinner. They will simply give him the opportunity to remove the fragments himself. Sometimes I got the impression that adults seemed to be watching their children from the sidelines. No violent emotions. Moreover, the French are very emotional people!
There is a great variety in the lives of French children sports sections and other active leisure. But all this is a “light” version, compared to Russian music schools, dancing or figure skating. A child in France manages to visit 3-4 sections per week, for example, a conservatory, a swimming pool and an ice skating rink. All activities can be combined and there is no question of choosing “either/or”. Rarely does anyone want to succeed at just one thing. The main thing is participation! French mothers do not shift their ambitions onto the fragile shoulders of their children.”
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“I saw something completely different in immigrant families or mixed families. Russian mothers stuff their children with additional exercises ad nauseum and demand the maximum. I once watched a tall blonde in fur warm up her daughter before a performance at a regional figure skating competition. She literally pulled the girl into the splits, pushing aside the miniature French coach.
“Put my daughter away separately!” – my neighbor “worked” the math teacher. The essence of the conflict was that for working “in pairs,” when a task is given to two people, the girl received 18 points out of 20, while she always completed individual tasks with a score of 20. “I don’t see the point in working together if academic performance suffers.” “- the mother was indignant.
Of course, all parents are different. There are those who are strict, and those who don’t give a damn and are calm. There are mother friends, there are those whose authority is indisputable, even if you don’t boast about your successes, you can try to “build” the lives of your children in your own way.
Yes, we all want the best for our children. But we are accustomed to the fact that success means sacrifice, that is, “through thorns.” And for the French, life is life. And they give themselves time to enjoy it.”
Czech Republic. Trust more, demand less!
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Dasha is the mother of 10-year-old Lika. When they arrived in the Czech Republic, the girl was only one year old. Here's what she says:
“Lika almost immediately went to kindergarten, and now she goes to school with in-depth study English language. I will share my observations of how children are raised here. The first and most important thing is freedom in everything! Czechs raise children very loyally! No restrictions. You can do anything: crawl, jump, lick the floor and other pranks.
Young families travel a lot and teach their children to play sports from infancy. Roller skates and bicycles are a daily occurrence in the parks. In winter, most families have the opportunity to go skiing to the mountains. People lead a very active lifestyle here.
In the Czech Republic, families have 2-3 children with a small age difference. Therefore, being on maternity leave is also work that lasts for several years. Often, by the way, dads sit at home with their children. It is specific that nothing is required of children in their studies. Some schools don't even homework. According to statistics, a large percentage of Czech residents do not strive to obtain higher education. Although in state universities education is free and generally accessible. However, teenagers are sent out of home early so that they can start an independent life: earn extra money and pay their own rent. Secondary vocational education is considered quite acceptable. But paid schools and universities are expensive. Comparable with Moscow.
But the level of requirements and knowledge here differs significantly. Strict control and discipline. It's closer to us. And there is a result: by the third grade, my daughter already speaks Czech and English fluently. When traveling abroad she does not have language barrier, she communicates well.”
Denmark. The Untouchables
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A law prohibiting hitting children was passed in Denmark in 1968. For almost 50 years, more than one generation has grown up without knowing physical punishment. “In Denmark, children control their lives from the cradle! This is my opinion based on personal experience. Indeed, children cannot be mentally influenced or threatened with punishment here. By any means, I don’t mean a belt – that’s criminally punishable,” says Inna, who is married to a Dane.
However, the Danes cannot be called " mama's boys" Quite the opposite, growing up in this country with a “masculine character”. The stronger half takes, perhaps, an even more active part in the development of children than women. Dads on maternity leave and male caregivers are a common occurrence. Maybe that's why physical development and hardening is not the last place.
For our compatriots, many things seem wild. “Children are allowed everything - they can drink from a puddle, roll in the mud, pour it on their heads, run around in socks or barefoot, take off their clothes, even if it’s winter. Educators follow the only rule: “you can’t yell at children or physically punish” - here this is prohibited by law, but everything else is welcome. In general, no one bothers about children here. Children in summer without panama hats, in winter without hats, dressed inappropriately for the season. A common occurrence is snot or an allergic rash. It is customary for the Danes to sit directly on the asphalt or grass. They don't care at all that they might get dirty or catch a cold. A frequent occurrence is barefoot children,” Tatyana writes in her blog.
Children leave their parents' home when they reach 18 years of age. They are already considered independent people who create their own lives. Danish laws, which allow even children aged 15 to resolve housing issues, enable young people to quickly acquire their own housing.
Be that as it may, psychologists say that the Danes are one of the happiest countries in the world.
Canada. Anything is possible that does not harm you and others
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Canada is very child-friendly. Everything that is safe is allowed. Here's what 45-year-old Svetlana, who has been living in Ottawa for more than 10 years, told us:
“Several years ago, when my son was 4 years old, we came to Russia. It was a lot of stress for the child. He was perplexed, why everything was “not allowed”? You can’t sit on the grass, you can’t hug other children, you can’t touch anything in the store with your hands. Let me give you an example. In Canada, I urgently needed to order new glasses before leaving, and my son and I went to the optical department. Well, can you imagine, there are expensive frames and glass all around. And then my active four-year-old boy comes in... The consultant reacted instantly - he handed the boy two hot air balloon! The child froze with admiration. Attention, and most importantly, hands were busy. And I successfully placed my order. No frames were damaged! And a completely opposite situation happened to us in a perfume store in Russia. No sooner had we entered than they started shushing my child and looking at me reproachfully. Canadians in general tend to avoid any conflict. In Canada, it is considered unacceptable to comment on other people's children. We are a country of councils! It seems that everyone is ready to “raise” other people’s children: in a store, on a playground, in public transport.”
Israel. Children are not punished. They make their life easier
Well, Jewish mothers are, after all, the same mothers for whom motherhood is not hard work, but joy. Therefore, whatever the child does, there are good reasons for it. Crying - tired, throwing chicken in a restaurant - exploring the world, licking shop windows - even more so exploring the world!
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Parents support the child's feelings. For example, a child crumples his drawing. Most likely, an adult will say to this: “Are you unhappy with your drawing and are angry that it doesn’t work out? I understand you". Probably, reading Yulia Gippenreiter’s books and using the “active listening” technique is included in the mandatory parent training program?! School teachers in Israel avoid giving direct characterizations to students. No “you’re great” and especially “he’s slow in math.” Any neurotic manifestation in a child’s behavior is considered a consequence of overload. A child can behave badly for only one reason - he cannot cope with his life. Children's life consists of family and school. This means that the direct task of adults - both parents and teachers - is to make life easier for the child. If you behaved badly in class, you will receive one less problem to take home. Paradox? The fundamental task of the school is the social adaptation of children. The main thing is to teach how to communicate and interact in a team. Children are recognized with the right to be, for example, a talented speaker and not like chemistry.
However, in practice, of course, not everything is so rosy. The human factor also plays an important role. Here's what Alina, little Lily's mother, writes about her search for a kindergarten:
“When we decided to send our youngest daughter to kindergarten, we were faced with the question: which one to choose - private or public. I visited several preschools. In the first garden, all my terrible memories of my own childhood were immediately resurrected. Already on the way to the garden, we heard the teachers shouting at the children. There was a roar of multi-voiced crying in the garden. Of the four teachers, two never looked up from their phones during the walk. The other two watched the children as best they could.
I went to the second garden with a heavy feeling, assuming that I would see the same thing. But the kindergarten turned out to be the complete opposite. The nannies cheerfully shouted out some poems while playing with the children, the children laughed uncontrollably. No one cried during the walk. On the walls are children's drawings and crafts. Great play area. The manager assured that they prepare fresh breakfasts, lunches and afternoon snacks. Although in most Israeli kindergartens children are fed sandwiches that parents themselves bring from home.
For our friends, the situation turned out to be very interesting. For some reason (as I remember, everyday reasons), they chose a religious kindergarten. Therefore, every evening they listened to how their daughter, sitting on the potty, chanted prayers and explained how her mother should respect her husband. Because dad is the second person after God. When questions began about why parents drove a car on Shabbat, the family decided to find another garden.”
Germany. Loyalty and Sex Education
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In Germany, children are treated very kindly. If they scream on the train or bus or start making noise, this is normal, no one will make any comments to either the children or the parents. Well, for a mother to slap a child in the butt - this is generally unacceptable, God forbid someone else will see it and report him for cruelty to the child! Screaming and corporal punishment are strictly prohibited. But it should be noted that the patience of parents in Germany is trained to perfection!
“Our friends’ daughter does vocals,” says Tatyana. – Several years ago they came to Moscow for one of the competitions. This was their first visit to Russia. “Mom, why do children behave this way? It’s like they’re afraid of their mothers,” the 15-year-old singer asked then.
In Germany, children are treated with great respect and their personal boundaries are respected. Teenagers 15–16 years old already have the right to manage their lives. For example, if a teenager decides to quit school, virtually no one can influence this. Doesn't understand what you need to study? The time will come, he will understand. There are schools, like our evening schools, where you can come even at 20 years old. In almost any situation, German parents remain self-possessed and patient. Probably it’s the Nordic character. Not only do they not shout at children, but they also do not hiss, do not glare, and do not use other “screaming substitutes” in situations where screaming is suddenly inconvenient for some reason. Germans are generally less emotional in matters of education.”
In schools, no one will “pull by the ears” for the sake of good grades. Three is quite a tolerable result. It is the teenager’s choice to continue studying after school or go to work. Much attention is paid to early sex education in schools.
“In third grade, the teacher asked parents to give their children a condom. The next day in class they “trained” to put it on a plastic bottle,” recalls Victoria. As they say, forewarned is protected!
United Kingdom. Adult world
"Encouraged to be independent, English child little by little he gets used to the fact that when he experiences hunger, fatigue, pain, resentment, he should not complain or bother his father or mother over trifles.” Children early understand that they live in the kingdom of adults, where they are supposed to know their place. And this place is by no means on the parents’ lap.
Here, from birth, children are made to understand that there are certain rules and restrictions. They must be respected. Whims are not welcome. It is customary to stop them by switching the child’s attention to something else. The child quickly gets used to being left to his own devices and reminding his parents of his existence as little as possible. Children should be “seen but not heard” – refers to children. From school age they are not visible at all. A 13-year-old teenager traveling to school on his own by commuter train is the norm. Mothers do not work as “taxi drivers” for their children, taking them to classes and clubs.
Pragmatic British people do not spend a large part of their salary on children, as is customary here. They don’t overwhelm them with toys and don’t buy expensive things. Children grow up so fast! Why not save money by buying second-hand clothes, strollers and other items? And after use they are resold again. In books published to help parents, for example, you can find the following advice: “buy your children clothes of one specific color. This way you will save on washing.”
It is not customary to wrap up children in any weather. Bare ankles peeking out of trousers in winter are the norm. Children are being hardened. And they don’t believe in the existence of germs. Cookies picked up from the sidewalk are just cookies.
The British categorically suppress cruelty on the part of children. If a child tortures a cat, offends a younger child, or damages someone else's property, he will face severe punishment - these are the rules. Children realize early that any action carries responsibility. By the way, corporal punishment in public schools was officially abolished in England only in 1987. That is, relatively recently.
There are no cleaners in schools. Pupils from the very junior classes They clean all the premises, including toilets, and even the school yard. They don't consider it a duty. I think this is due to the fact that teachers not only lead the process, but participate in it along with the students. Despite the fact that Japan is primarily presented as a high-tech country with robots on every corner, living here you quickly become accustomed to its agricultural traditions. Vegetables are grown in kindergartens and schools. They try to take students of even the most prestigious institutions at least once in their lives to a rice field to plant this cereal by hand, knee-deep in water and mud, as their ancestors did.
I still can’t get used to it, and I’m still amazed when at mass children’s parties or performances I see the ability of even the smallest Japanese to organize into groups and behave in a synchronized manner. Restless children of three to five years old dance, sing and play musical instruments in harmony, calmly wait for their turn at a concert, and this is in the most ordinary kindergartens without special deviations. It also seems to me that local children subtly sense the moment when they can frolic and scream their hearts out, but I almost never see children running around in restaurants, with the exception of my own.
