The role of a mistress, as a rule, cannot be envied by any self-respecting girl. Acting as a temporary outlet, a vest for male weaknesses, sooner or later she is left alone, because family is a priority for most unfaithful representatives of the stronger sex. A man tries to speed up the breakup of a relationship with a woman on his side for various reasons. But how to leave your mistress without any consequences, because abandoned lovers often turn out to be vindictive people? Thousands of unfaithful spouses would like to know about this, and it is for them that it is advisable to consider this issue.
Why do men have lovers who they later leave?
The decision to leave his family for his mistress does not come to a man just like that. The reasons why spouses begin to cheat on their wives are quite varied, and the most significant of them can be called:
- Congenital polygamy. A casual relationship is often not perceived by a man as a crime, and all because of the natural tendency to cheat. A mistress, in their opinion, is not something to be taken seriously, but family is sacred.
- With passion for love. Many guys suffer from the fact that they quickly lose interest in the woman they conquer. Such males require continuous stimulation of the senses. Perhaps his wife managed to hold the curtain of her mystery and uniqueness longer than his other “victims.” But as soon as the husband manages to read this book to the last page, the need to study the next copy will immediately arise. Turning to the same reason, we can answer the question of why lovers are abandoned.
- The presence of a strong woman in the house. One of the folk wisdoms “It’s good if a wife knows how to do everything, but, God forbid, her husband finds out about this” is 100% confirmed by the rich history of human intra-family relationships. Next to the “iron” lady, who will bring shopping bags home herself, and is not too lazy to hammer in a nail, and provides for the family on an equal basis with the head of the family, a man cannot fully assert himself. That is why a weak lady against his background can become the stimulus in life that he wants to protect and love.
The list of root causes that encourage men to leave their families for their mistresses can be continued with at least a few more points. For example, the realities of today's life often jeopardize the happiness of even spouses who mutually and sincerely love each other. Everyday life, financial and housing difficulties, as well as imprints of relationships with relatives lead to regular scandals and contribute to the emergence of irritation and misunderstanding between husband and wife. Together with their mistress, they try to find an outlet and escape, at least for a short time, from the problems that have piled up.
Over the years, feelings become dull, but the chances of reuniting the social unit are great if the man himself wants to leave his mistress. How he came to this decision is another question.
What makes lovers leave each other forever?
Perhaps the reason for breaking off the extramarital affair was the behavior of the homewrecker herself. Women are capricious, selfish and cunning creatures, especially when access to what they want is limited. What an abandoned lover feels is rarely of interest to a married man, especially if the last straw of patience that pushed him to separate was her actions served:
- She ignores compliance with the basic rules of secrecy, showing feelings in front of strangers.
- Constantly begs for expensive gifts and is capricious like a child.
- Insistently demands to spend more time with her than a man can.
- Threatens to tell his wife about her husband's extramarital affair with her.
Some married guys get lost in fresh feelings. When their mistress leaves them, they find themselves defenseless and betrayed, not knowing how to survive this personal drama. Having difficulty returning to their families, devoted men can take a long time to come to their senses. A young mistress can leave her married partner as soon as she is convinced that all his promises were empty words. Any woman, agreeing to a minor role as a secret comforter, hopes in her heart that one day her hero will not leave, but will remain with her forever.
But most often, married lovers break up with a friend “on the side” decide due to loss of interest not only in this person, but also in the intimate side of their relationship. When sex stops giving pleasure, a man is no longer held back by anything; he is easily ready to give up the vicious relationship. And if a lover suspects his partner of having relationships with other men, the likelihood that he will leave and leave his mistress is almost one hundred percent.
Which women never leave, and which mistresses are never abandoned
There are women who never leave. It will never occur to a husband to seek solace with his mistress if his wife is an exemplary keeper of the family hearth. The woman who can always be in a relationship with her beloved man will never know the bitterness of betrayal. adhere to the following rules:
- To be beautiful, first of all, for your husband. The mistake that many married ladies make is that they put on a makeover only before leaving the house, while most of the time spent with their spouse they wear an old robe and don’t think about makeup at all.
- It’s always a pleasure to meet the “breadwinner” after a hard day at work. Feeding, showing attention, listening, giving advice and affection - this is what the faithful expect from their other halves.
- Don't turn into a grumpy housewife with curlers on her head.
- Do not break a man's will by subordinating him to your leadership.
- Do not bother with excessive, unreasonable jealousy or suspicion.
- Always express your opinion without losing yourself in what you love.
- Giving your husband mind-blowing sex that will never be the same as the previous one.
These are the kinds of wives and mistresses they don’t leave. A successful combination of a wise and well-groomed woman, a patient listener, a faithful friend and a passionate partner - a man will never look for a replacement for such a lady “on the side.”
Hello my wonderful ones!
Today in the “Questions and Answers” section we have a letter from a reader. Her name and some facts have been changed.
Good afternoon, Geneva!
Help me, please, I don’t know how to live further. I have been married for 7 years and have a child for 6 years. I always loved my future husband, just as he loved me, but pregnancy became the impetus for marriage.
The relationship began to deteriorate almost immediately. Quarrels, hysterics, swearing, the fact that I was pregnant didn’t even stop him. He is 10 years older than me and always believed that he knew everything better than me, at first I looked into his mouth unquestioningly, but I changed, matured, and he never accepted it. I always wanted to spend time together, but he kept moving away. Irregular schedule, friends, fishing, dacha. I tried to follow him for a long time, but he didn’t want to. My self-esteem fell through the roof.
After another quarrel, I decided that enough was enough! I got myself in order, started taking care of myself, went to the gym, got a job. I gained a huge number of fans. And I fell head over heels in love with one of them!
Our secret romance lasted 2 years. And so he decided to stop it, he said that it was unbearable to be the third wheel, that he loved me, but I would never leave my husband. And I decided that I wanted to be with him. But this guy was scared. He is afraid of responsibility for the child, for me, he is afraid that I will start cheating on him, he says that he does not feel that he will be happy with me, although he has been happy all this time. I asked why he hadn't thought about this before. He replied that he had not thought about the future before.
I gave him 2 months to think. He asked him not to touch him yet, not to call or write. And now I’m at a crossroads... On the one hand, a husband who only became necessary to me when I turned away from him, whom I don’t love anymore, I can’t even be near, on the other, a lover whom I love madly, but I perceive his cowardice like betrayal.
And these 2 months of uncertainty are killing me. I think about him every day, see him in my dreams, although I try to occupy every minute. Recently I couldn’t resist writing to him and asking if he needed this time at all. He answered that yes, it is necessary...
Best regards, Anna.
Answer:
Hello Anna!
From your story, I understood that you were unable to create a relationship with your husband. Surely no one taught you this. As a result, you did not know how to do this, so now you are in deep despair. Fortunately, it is never too late to learn this in order to avoid similar suffering in the future.
After an unplanned pregnancy and marriage, the husband apparently felt trapped. This often happens, so in forced marriages it is especially important to quickly build deep relationships with a man, so that he sees them as beneficial for himself and does not want to get rid of them as if they were a heavy burden.
You write that you tried to be with him constantly, but he moved away. This is normal for a man. He wants to have his own territory. He cannot be with a woman all the time, he needs to work, relax alone, communicate with friends, and pursue his hobbies. In all this, he begins to miss his woman. And if a woman doesn’t let him go there, swears and demands to be with her all the time, he will do anything just to be left alone. Because he is literally suffocating, the woman is suffocating him with her love. He can't help it.
And he also wants it to be interesting with a woman. So that she has some things to do. Sometimes she should be inaccessible to him because she went to some courses, to the gym, to a beauty salon, or to a get-together with her girlfriends. And then she tells him where she was, what she saw, and what incredible colors her life is seething with. Everything about her is so bright and festive that he will want to join in on the fun. Few people want to join in with boredom.
From the very beginning of your relationship with him, you should not have neglected yourself and your interests. After all, after you returned all this to your life, began to look good and do interesting things, your husband again reached out to you. Because we are interested in those people who are interested in their own lives. You yourself would not like to live with someone who is not interested in anything and looks bad, constantly makes scandals and demands your full attention.
Of course, your husband could also behave differently to give you the opportunity to rest and flourish. But it was not he who asked me for advice and it is not he who wants to correct the situation, so I am describing your mistakes here. If you understand them, then you will have the opportunity not to step on the same rake in the future. Therefore, do not think “why is it only me who owes everything, it’s his own fault.” Both are equally to blame, but in this case we are considering your part of the responsibility.
You say that you and your husband had love at the very beginning. If it once existed, then you can always not only return it, but also make it much stronger, brighter and deeper, take it to a new level. This is a big topic for conversation, so in the near future I will write an article “I fell out of love with my husband - what to do?” Subscribe to the newsletter so as not to miss this article.
Here I will briefly note that you should start the practice of forgiving your husband; in a couple of weeks it will become much easier for you. And then you need to start loving him. Love is not just some feeling in the stomach. This is action. Loving a person means trying with all your might to help him maximize his potential, realize his goals in life and outline the path to them.
Your help will consist of sincere conversations with him on this topic, and in motivating him first for small and then for big victories. Read the articles in these sections: Happy relationships and How to inspire a man.
You should also think about common interests and entertainment with your husband. Think about what events you can organize, what surprises you can arrange so that you both enjoy it. In relationships, surprises and dates are a woman's responsibility. I understand that you have no time for your husband right now, but at least practice with him.
If things don't work out with him, you don't want to continue and you give up, then at least you can truly create your next relationship. So that a man wants to be with you for many years, and not just a couple of years, while the hormones of love are hitting his head. If you train on your husband, you won’t lose anything, especially since right now you don’t have any options. But divorce is not an option since you have a child. And I will also write about this in detail in the following articles.
As for the lover... From your letter I concluded that he enjoyed you, took from you everything that you could give him, and he became bored. If you drove a donated car for two years, and then out of the blue you were asked to pay full price for it, how would you react? Surely they would prefer something new, fresh emotions. Therefore, you can understand it and let it go. And in the future, don’t give a man such serious two-year advances.
Yes, it's rude of me to compare a person to a thing. But that’s exactly what they did to you. Used it and threw it away when no longer needed. And the saddest thing is that you yourself allowed it, maybe you were even the initiator in many ways. Therefore, the responsibility for the current situation is not only on him, but also on you for allowing such an attitude towards yourself. As a result, you and he cheated on your husband for a long time, and he betrayed you as soon as he got a little bored and didn’t care about your feelings. Do you think this is a good start to a relationship and a strong family?
In addition, your lover immediately warns you that your relationship with him will be destroyed by jealousy, and he will not be able to trust you. Trust is the foundation of relationships; you cannot build a family on scandals and suspicions. Do you want a happy family with a responsible man, or do you just want to be with your lover under any conditions and you don’t care about the rest? For your husband, child, your own life and happiness... Whether the game is worth the candle is up to you to decide.
In any case, your lover will be able to decide on something only if you completely stop communicating with him and force yourself to become happier in every way. Nobody needs unhappy people begging for attention and demanding sympathy. Everyone needs to be happy, fulfilled, inspired and uplifting. And he can feel that he is missing you only if you do not impose yourself on him at all. I already wrote about this in the article Pause in relationships initiated by a man.
Is your husband a drug addict, alcoholic, gambling addict, or mentally ill? If not, then I strongly recommend that you start creating a relationship with him. You will always have time to quit. It's never too late to leave a child without a father. I recently came across an interesting statistic somewhere: women in most cases are the initiators of divorce, and in most cases it is women who later regret it.
Because it’s not easy to find a decent man who won’t run away when you need to take responsibility for your actions, and your husband has proven in his time that he is responsible. It’s not so easy to find someone who wants to take on obligations even for a woman, not to mention someone else’s child. And it’s not at all a fact that you will be able to create a happy relationship with another man if you don’t start learning this; little can happen “on your own.” We most clearly understand WHAT we have lost when it can no longer be returned. But the child certainly cannot avoid suffering from separation from his father.
Easy to break. Try to create your own happiness yourself, and don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.
Dear readers, now I turn to all of you. Did you like my answer? Share this article with your friends, perhaps some of them really need it now!
Want to ask your question?
Send it here https://smania.club/contacts/, and it is very likely that the answer to it will also be published.
Good luck to everyone! With love,
Geneva Kaul
Fortunately, we live in the 21st century and moral issues are no longer as strict as they used to be. A person can do whatever he likes as long as it does not contradict the Criminal Code. So family members of the stronger sex often have mistresses to satisfy their sexual needs, if there is no longer passion with their wife, or if they just want to unwind and try something new... But you never know the reasons to go “to the left.”
Sometimes such unions end in divorce from the wife, and the mistress becomes the new legal wife. But more often the opposite situation arises - the lover, without explanation, wanted it in favor of the family. Today we will figure out what to do if you are abandoned? This article is about how to forget your beloved married man.
Most often, a lover has one specific reason - an old family and sincere feelings for her. Think for yourself, after all, many years ago he met his current wife, fell in love, proposed and had children. And, most likely, he still has strong and warm feelings for this woman, or at least honors her and does not want to go to the left, thereby insulting and humiliating her.
Another reason may be children who may be hurt if they grow up in a single-parent family. Therefore, they most often have a desire to break up with their mistress in order to preserve the good things that were in life before you.
It’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do, since nostalgia and feelings for your offspring are stronger than sex and a beautiful face and figure.
But there are also several other reasons why. These include:
- Divorce and money. When there are no feelings left for the family, but at the same time you have to preserve it in order not to get divorced. This process in most cases is closely related to the division of property. And sometimes a representative of the stronger sex loses an apartment, a car, a business - everything that was acquired through back-breaking labor. He cannot withstand such a blow. Either under pressure from his wife, or under the fear that she will find out everything and herself demand a divorce with further division of property, he leaves you, breaking off the relationship. In this case, too, nothing depends on your personal efforts. For a man, money and the fear of losing more than half of what he has acquired is a very strong incentive to return to the family nest and not show his nose out of it for a long time.
- Public censure. Even if you are not afraid of losing money, there is no attachment to your wife and children, the factor that makes you “come to your senses” is censure from authorities. His mother, best friend, brother or father told him that this was impossible, sinful, bad or shameful. So if you broke up with your married lover because of this, then you shouldn’t reproach yourself - a man who cannot decide his own fate, but listens to the opinions of others under the pressure of authority, is simply unworthy of you.
- Fatigue. Sometimes your lover gets tired of you. Sometimes this is partly the girl’s fault - monotonous sex and constant brainwashing will not please anyone and will quickly get boring. After all, this is enough at home. But sometimes a break in a relationship with a married man occurs because he is simply tired of lying, dodging and being in several places at the same time. This usually happens to those who are over 35 years old. By this point, the spirit of adventurism disappears, and betrayal is no longer so interesting to devote so much effort, time and money to it. There's nothing you can do about it - all that remains is to find someone young and active.
- New passion. The most painful thing for every mistress is when they leave her not for her legal wife, but for another temporary passion. If you were left for someone younger and more beautiful, just breathe out. This means that the person did not feel anything, did not respect anyone around him, and only your sex was important to him. Yes, it hurts, but here you should think about true love and self-respect. But we'll talk about this a little lower.
So, when you have figured out the reason, you can proceed to the question of being with a married man.
What to do if you are abandoned
First, cry. Yes, it’s stupid, but the psychologist’s advice on how to forget a married loved one begins with the point that it’s worth crying. The fact is that women are more emotional and everything that happens to us is regulated by emotions - hormones, tears, and so on. But in order to cry properly, you need not to become hysterical, but to follow the following rules:
- Allow yourself to scream as loud and as long as you want. You can go into an open field and scream until you are exhausted. This way you will free yourself from negative energy and pain. The main thing is, don’t scream if you don’t want to and it’s not bursting from the inside. In this case, you will simply lose your voice and nothing will change.
- Cry the way you need to. Some people cannot control themselves even at work or in front of other people. Any memory of a past relationship or something similar causes them to cry uncontrollably - this is normal and natural. If possible, take a couple of days off or a sick leave for a few days until your “heart” stops hurting. Ideally, cry alone in the evenings to a movie or sad music. Or rereading messages from your ex. It’s better to trust your pain and tears to a close friend who will console and support you. In general, do whatever is more comfortable and easier for you - everything is individual.
- Don't wash away the pain. Some people start switching to cakes or pizza, using the excuse that my married man left me. And some go to a bar and get extremely drunk. Drinking a little wine to help you sleep better or drinking a beer with a friend is normal. But why get drunk to a bestial, swinish state? To feel bad the next morning, to embarrass the whole bar? To sleep with the first person you meet in a drunken stupor? That's exactly what will happen. Alcohol will not force anything out of your memory, but will only aggravate this condition and push you to act recklessly. One night can completely ruin your life. Is it worth it? It’s not worth talking about experimenting with illegal drugs or starting to smoke if you haven’t done it before or have successfully quit.
- Eat with caution. Of course, delicious food brings pleasure and calmness, as it allows you to produce endorphins. Food is the main assistant when it comes to how to get rid of love for a married man. Especially sweet or favorite dish. But if you do not have a good figure and a fast metabolism in order to successfully process all this to zero, then eat your favorite, albeit expensive, dishes during this period, but follow the norm. Otherwise, then the extra pounds will additionally remind you of a difficult period.
So, when the first wave of emotions has passed, and you no longer want to cry every minute or lie hugging your knees, you can begin the second stage - renewal and new life.
New life
In order to understand how to forget a loved one, you just need to first release all the pain, and then calmly analyze the situation and understand, as we already mentioned at the very beginning, whose fault it really is. Only then can you become a completely different person, free from the shackles of separation.
If you have found out the reason why your lover left you (or at least approximately found out), then do not reproach yourself for not being “good” enough for him. The only thing is that you are simply not suitable for each other. You need someone who is kind and loving, and he needs an image that doesn’t exist in reality. Or vice versa, he wants a homely, affectionate girl with pies, and you are a hot lioness. Just accept that you are too different people.
The same applies to pressure rupture. Can a weak man be next to a strong and self-sufficient woman? The answer is no. Give yourself this attitude and life will become easier.
Well, if it’s a family matter, try to understand. You will also have a family and children, and you would not want your beloved husband to cheat on you one day and go to his mistress, thereby tearing your heart and ruining the lives of your children.
How to cope with loss?
In order to finally calm down and understand for yourself how to stop loving your lover, try changing your type of activity - a new job or a new hobby. Sports are good. For example, fitness, which will tighten you up, or yoga, which will not only tighten your body, but also calm you down. And if burning hatred and negative emotions are overwhelming inside, then martial arts or boxing are perfect. It will benefit you, and your feelings will subside.
Also, some people change their hairstyle or wardrobe, try something they never dared to do before. For example, they paint themselves red, although they used to be blonde and vice versa.
Change is a good step towards a new full life. The main thing is that when you try new things, you feel comfortable.
Don't rush into another relationship right away, as you could end up in an even worse situation - from poor quality sex to another bad relationship. Wait, calm down, find yourself, start developing and love your reflection in the mirror. And with it will come a new better relationship and a new better life. And only the one who respects herself will have a person who respects her. And there is no greater humiliation than suffering over a past relationship or asking for everything back.
It so happened that you cheated on your man, and now your lover is constantly present in your life, although initially you planned the relationship for only one night. What to do if you now want to leave your lover, break off relations with him and protect your personal life from other people? What to do if your lover becomes a threat to your family relationships? Let's figure this out right now!
How to leave your lover once and for all
Try talking to the man first. Explain that you have decided not to see him anymore, but to pay attention to your family. Thank the person for the pleasant moments, because, most likely, if you dated a man, you had a good time with him. If you talk tactfully and calmly with your lover, he will understand you and will no longer pursue you.
Very often, women cannot openly say “No”, and thus give a person vain hope. So, it is quite possible that this is exactly your case. Once again, firmly state that there is no future for your relationship. But don't say that you want to leave your lover - that's insulting.
Sometimes it happens that a person does not hear or does not want to hear certain things, and therefore, no matter how much you tell him “No,” there will be no reaction. At this moment, the lover is driven by feelings and passion, and therefore he simply refuses to believe that nothing will happen between you.
In this case, try to clearly demonstrate to your lover the fact that you are not interested in him. To do this, you can appear in front of him along with a new gentleman. Perhaps he will be offended and you will not have to leave your lover - he will disappear on his own.
If your personal life is currently completely calm, just ask someone you know to play the role of your fan. When your lover sees you in the company of another man, it is quite possible that he will become aware of the fact that you are not interested in him.
If you have mutual friends, then before leaving your lover, ask them to talk to the latter. Perhaps he will listen to the opinions of strangers.
You can find your lover a new passion! Think about whether there are any lonely friends around you. Perhaps it is worth trying to introduce them to a man who is now openly interfering in your life. Most likely, such a man himself is not bad, otherwise you would not pay attention to him. And good men are valued today, so, if possible, introduce your ex-lover to one of your friends - maybe this will be the beginning of a great love.
By the way, you can talk about how to break off a relationship with your lover on specialized forums on the Internet, where people from all corners of our planet share their experiences. Maybe you can use a couple of tricks.
You can always just ignore the person. Do not answer letters or phone calls. During casual meetings, speak emphatically politely and without emotion. Sooner or later a person will realize that they are no longer interested in him.
If your husband knows about your infidelity, you can ask him to talk to his lover who is not far behind you. Of course, this option is not suitable for everyone, since most women still do not admit to their spouses about the fact of deception. In addition, if your husband or lover is hot-tempered, it is better to never bring them together, otherwise the matter may end tragically.
It is known that a man in love often hears only himself and refuses to believe that he is being rejected. How to leave your lover if you are talking with a man, but he stubbornly refuses to leave you alone? Maybe the option we will offer you will help. Appear in front of your lover with another man. This could be your spouse. If you are single, ask a friend to help you and play the role of your date. This technique will have a sobering effect on your lover, and, most likely, he will understand that you are not interested in him.
And one last piece of advice. If your lover doesn't leave you alone, and you see that the person is clearly inadequate, call the police. Don't put your life in danger!
How to break up with your lover
How to break off a relationship with your lover and do it so that both of you do not suffer too much after the breakup? What to do if your lover is an overly persistent person and does not want to understand that you no longer see a future in your relationship? What to do if you decide to live your life? We will talk about this and much more right now.
So, you have thought it over carefully and decided to break off relations with your lover. Now it is very important to inform your lover about this. No matter how scared you are, under no circumstances send an SMS message or email - you need to talk to the person in person. If it is very difficult for you to tell your lover about your decision, write a regular letter and hand it to the man. Let him read it in front of you, and then you can talk. But in any case, try to end the relationship gracefully.
So, you have decided to leave your lover, when you talk to him, do not give him false hopes. Let him hear that you are breaking up once and for all - no attempts should be made to go back and restore what was before. The more clearly you say this, the better and the easier it will be for you to break off relations with your lover.
How to break up with your lover if he does not want to understand and accept your decision? Start ignoring the man. Be extremely polite and do not agree to meet somewhere. You can also appear before your lover in the company of another person. In this case, the man will see that you are no longer interested in him at all. After that, he will stop interfering in your life. If your heart is free at the moment, you can simply ask a friend (of course, whom your lover does not know) to play the role of your gentleman.
Another situation may arise. You obviously don’t want to part with your lover, but deep down you understand that your relationship has no future. This can happen if your temperaments coincide only in an intimate sense, but in real life it turns out that you have completely different views on everything. In addition, your lover may have a family, and it becomes clear to you that continuing a relationship with a man in this case is immoral. Find the strength within yourself to break off relations with your lover. You can't try to save a relationship if it's impossible. It's better if you finish them and open your heart to new, true love!
Of course, sex on the side is not entirely good for your spouse, but still, such relationships happen from time to time. And when they lose their novelty and charm and begin to become burdensome, the question inevitably arises of how to break off a relationship with a lover, because they usually have no future. A double life is quite a difficult test and not everyone likes to endure it for a long time, no matter how good the sex is. But freeing yourself from attachment is not always easy, and this process can cause a lot of suffering.
· First of all, you will need a suitable excuse to leave your lover. It all depends on what type of lover your lover is. You can simply disappear from his life, without further words or parting promises. And if you know that you will cause a lot of suffering to a person with such an act, maybe you should somehow prepare him for such a decision.
· Alas, a man may react differently to this action of yours. And he can be understood - after all, he gave you part of his life for some time and perhaps you gave him unreasonable hope. Not everyone is able to calmly accept a breakup and let go of a relationship without questions. So maybe you should prepare for a serious conversation.
· It is better to start this conversation on territory that is commonly called neutral. In other words, it should not happen either at your place or, especially, at his home, since he may simply not let you go. These are extremes, of course, but they also happen, so everything should be planned ahead of time.
· When you decide to leave your lover, think about the words you will say to him in advance. You can even practice a short speech in front of a mirror. The best thing you can do is make it clear to the person that your relationship has no prospects, and therefore he should not spend all his time on you.
· But if you believe that no reasonable arguments will convince your friend, you can simply try to end the relationship not immediately, but gradually. Meet less often. It is increasingly common to report that you have some urgent matters at home or that you are sick and therefore cannot devote time to him yet. In the end, he himself will lead you to the right conversation and... maybe even offer to break up. And here you can agree to his proposal. It will be even better if you make sure that the initiative for the breakup comes from his side.
Who is she, the mistress of a married man? This is the woman who waits for her lover from time to time, meets with him secretly and knows for sure that he will never leave his family for her. And the worst thing is to realize that someday this romance will come to an end, and then her heart will break in half.
How does the man himself cope with such a separation? Does he forget easily or tear his soul out of his shirt? Depends on what kind of relationship the lovers had and what served as the impetus for the separation.
Great love relationships
Well, it also happens that family life has become very stressful for a man. Quarrels, disrespect, unsettled life - everything shakes the nerves, and the man looks for an outlet on the side. By the way, you can read about this situation in the article.
This couple’s frivolous romantic relationship can turn into a serious and long-term romance with passionate feelings. It would seem - well, why both should suffer, they need to get a divorce and create their own, new unit of society. Moreover, many began to guess about their relationship.
But no, unfortunate circumstances force lovers to separate. There are many reasons:
A huge scandal broke out among the relatives: the boss-father-in-law promises to destroy the scoundrel financially, and the wife promises to destroy him morally, cutting him off from the children.
The children themselves are crying: “Dad stay, we love you!” A father's heart breaks, commanding his mind to listen to his children.
The mistress herself, realizing that she will ruin several lives, hides in an unknown direction, realizing that it will be better this way.
And so, after tossing around for a while, the guy realizes that nothing can be done - he must come to terms with it. The complexity of his situation is that he will have to put a good face on a bad game:
You have to look casual, as if nothing happened, and sometimes even sigh sadly, saying that you regret what happened.
You have to smile at family parties when friends and family come, so that everyone can see that everything is back to normal.
He needs to eat breakfast with gusto, have fun playing with the children, and be passionate about his hobbies so that his wife does not suspect him of being depressed.
And there is terrible confusion in my soul. If the mistress has not yet changed her place of residence, then she is madly drawn to her, because her feelings do not want to cool down. The article describes what breakdowns can sometimes happen because of this powerful love, up to and including breaking up a family.
But if a man has firmly chosen his family and not his mistress, then even with apparent calm he experiences the pangs of separation. Like a film, he replays in his memory meetings with his passion, remembers her voice, face, smell.
For men, unlike women, logic prevails over feelings, so he begins to analyze rather than nurse: if he made such a choice, then he really had something to lose.
This means you need to pull yourself together and go headlong:
- to work,
- into hobbies,
- in family matters,
- to sports
You need to fill your free time to drive away thoughts from your ex-lover, and time will heal the wounds. And it’s even good that she disappeared from view, there are fewer temptations to run off to her.
The situation can be aggravated by alcohol, the telephone and its appearance (for example, on social networks). For many men, this is like a red rag to a bull - the brakes fail immediately, especially after a couple of drinks. And such walking on a sharp blade can continue for a long time, almost until the image of the beloved completely disappears from the man’s memory.
When a conflict situation arises
Not all men run to their mistress out of great love; some manage to get into relationships out of passion, out of stupidity, for the sake of powerful sex. Not to say that a lover for such a walker is a soulless inflatable doll. No, of course you have feelings for your sweetheart, but you can’t wait to leave your family for her!
In addition, the stupidity lies in the fact that for the sake of passion, a man begins to hang noodles on his mistress’s ears:
Swears eternal love, especially in moments of passion.
He promises to leave his family and marry her.
He deliberately delays fulfilling his promises so as not to lose her.
This is precisely how a man digs a hole for himself. He values relationships, because when he is with his mistress, he mentally and physically gets everything that he cannot get from his wife. But the mistress is not a silent fool, and at some time she begins to urge him on. The man feels that he already smells something fried.
This is where the problems begin, which depend on the character of the mistress, if suddenly the man needs to break off the relationship:
An insidious mistress can go as far as aggressive blackmail. It is very dangerous to break quickly with such an impatient woman - she will take revenge in full. Therefore, an intelligent man gradually reduces the romance to nothing, trying to arouse disgust in his passion instead of love.
The tearful lover begins to call and sob into the phone. She will ensure that her boyfriend does not leave her and fulfills his promises. Moreover, she will call at the most inconvenient time for a man. Well, what can he do but block her calls and her social network page?
A sassy lover will appear everywhere in a man's life. To the point of starting an affair with his friend in order to wedge himself into his social circle and family. There is an example of such a mistress in the film “Vacation in September.” Watch it at your leisure - a very educational film.
If a mistress constantly asks for dates, whines, demands and threatens, then the man is not so much merciless - he passionately wants to break up with her. Just as passionately as he once wanted her in bed. In the article you can read what a man experiences.
Dates are becoming less and less frequent, there are fewer and fewer promises, even though the man pretends to want to see each other again, but there is a lot of work, his wife is sick, the children are crying. He breathes a sigh of relief after the final separation, when he can put an end to the relationship, and will be glad that he got off with a slight fright.
If the mistress initiates the separation
When a lover’s patience runs out and she is not satisfied with the status of the “second woman” in her lover’s life, she herself decides to put an end to it. She needs a family, a husband, children, and not two-hour sex once a week.
If this woman is dear to a man, and he did not even think about parting with her, then his behavior may radically change. Of course, everything suited him so well:
Sex on the side has always been much brighter than with my wife.
His mistress understood him, pitied him, and forgave him.
He himself still has strong feelings for her.
And then everything collapses? A man’s feelings become more intense, especially when a woman has found a replacement for him. The most desperate married man can lose his head: he leaves his family, becomes a free man and arranges a personal life with his sweetheart.
If his pathetic attempts did not produce any results, then he will still decide to let his beloved go. Yes, he will suffer, but his mind will overcome his feelings. His real emotions will not be clear to his wife, because he will explain his thoughtfulness as fatigue, and his nervous breakdowns as problems at work.
He can trace the life of his ex-lover on social networks or according to the stories of friends and hope that maybe he will still have a chance to be alone with her. The nasty rival is not a wall - he will move, because the mistress probably still has the same craving and hot feelings for past relationships.
Someday he will calm down when he feels the irreversibility of the current circumstances. But at first, the mistress gloats and the wife cries: the man is experiencing an “open turning point” in his life, and this hurts his nerves and pride, which will bring confusion to family relationships.
If it weren’t for the secret of his relationship with his mistress, he would have suffered in exactly the same way as described in the article. Although a walker to the left is a walker in Africa. She will be a little sad and will most likely find a replacement for her mistress, a little less obstinate and not thirsty for a serious relationship.
