How dad chose his profession
When dad was little, he was often asked the same question. They asked him: “Who will you be?” And dad always answered this question without hesitation. But each time he answered differently. At first, dad wanted to become a night watchman. He really liked that everyone was sleeping, but the watchman was not sleeping. And then he really liked the mallet that the night watchman uses to knock. And the fact that you could make noise when everyone was sleeping made dad very happy. He was determined to become a night watchman when he grew up. But then an ice cream seller appeared with a beautiful green cart. The cart could be transported! You could eat the ice cream!
“I’ll sell one portion, eat one!” Dad thought. “And I’ll treat small children to ice cream for free.”
The little dad's parents were very surprised to learn that their son would be an ice cream maker. They laughed at him for a long time. But he firmly chose this fun and tasty profession. But one day little daddy I saw an amazing man at the railway station. This man played with carriages and locomotives all the time. Not with toy ones, but with real ones! He jumped onto the platforms, crawled under the carriages and all the time played some wonderful game.
Who is this? - Dad asked.
“This is a wagon coupler,” they answered him.
And then little dad finally realized who he would be. Just think! Couple and uncouple the cars! What could be more interesting in the world? Of course, nothing could be more interesting. When the master announced that he would be a coupler on the railway, one of his friends asked:
What about ice cream?
Then dad became thoughtful. He firmly decided to become a coupler. But he didn’t want to give up the green ice cream cart either. And so little dad found a way out.
I'll be a coupler and an ice cream man! - he said.
Everyone was very surprised. But little daddy explained it to them.
He said:
It's not difficult at all. In the morning I will go with ice cream. I walk, walk, and then run to the station. I’ll hitch up the trailers there and run back to the ice cream. Then I run to the station again, uncouple the carriages and run to the ice cream again. And so all the time. I’ll place the cart close to the station so that I don’t have to run far to connect and uncouple.
Everyone laughed a lot. Then little daddy got angry and said:
And if you laugh, I’ll still work as a night watchman. After all, I have a free night. And I already know how to bang a mallet really well. One watchman let me try...
That's how dad arranged everything. But soon he wanted to become a pilot. Then he wanted to become an artist and play on stage. Then he visited the same factory with his grandfather and decided to become a turner. In addition, he really wanted to become a cabin boy on a ship. Or, as a last resort, become a shepherd and walk with the cows all day, loudly cracking the whip. And one day, more than anything in his life, he wanted to become a dog. All day long he ran on all fours, barked at strangers and even tried to bite one elderly woman when she wanted to pat him on the head. Little daddy learned to bark very well, but he couldn’t learn to scratch behind the ear with his foot, although he tried his best. And to make it work better, he went out into the yard and sat down next to Tuzik. And an unfamiliar military man was walking down the street. He stopped and began to look at dad. I looked and looked and then asked:
What are you doing, boy?
“I want to become a dog,” said little dad.
Then the unfamiliar military man asked:
Don't you want to be a human?
And I’ve been a man for a long time! - said dad.
“What kind of person are you,” said the military man, “if you don’t even make a dog?” Is this a person?
Which one? - Dad asked.
Just think! - said the military man and left. He didn't laugh at all or even smile. But for some reason little daddy felt very ashamed. And he began to think. He thought and thought, and the more he thought, the more ashamed he became. The military man did not explain anything to him. But he himself suddenly realized that he couldn’t choose a new profession every day. And most importantly, he realized that he was still small and that he himself did not yet know who he would be. When he was asked about this again, he remembered the military man and said:
I will be a man!
And then no one laughed. And little dad realized that this was the most correct answer. And now he thinks so too. First of all you have to be good person. This is most important for the pilot, and for the turner, and for the shepherd, and for the artist. And there is no need for a person to scratch behind the ear with his foot.
How dad played ping pong
When dad was little and at school, a new game. Now it's called table tennis. And then it was called ping-pong. Now many boys and girls also love this game. But then ping-pong was played in every school, in every classroom, in every yard. They played on tables, on benches, on pianos and just on the floor. They played from morning to evening. Some even played at night. And many have completely forgotten everything in the world except ping-pong. Every day at the little gentleman's school there was a ping-pong competition. We played for the championship of each group. Then the group champions played for the school championship. Then the school champions played for the district championship. Then the city championship in ping pong was played. Then Moscow and Leningrad played each other.
Little dad was very surprised by all this. He could not believe that it was so interesting to chase a small white ball with his paddles.
These are not shovels, but rackets, they told him.
Well, with rackets. I still don't understand.
Try it.
Yes, I'm not interested.
It will be interesting.
It won't.
Try it.
Don't want.
Such conversations began many times. And, of course, one fine day little dad took the racket and went to the table. And then he disappeared. I wrote: "one day." But in little dad’s family, everyone believed that it happened on one terrible day. The fact is that little dad really liked ping-pong. At first, nothing worked for him. He couldn't catch the ball with his racket. Then he began to hit the ball with his racket, but the ball did not want to hit the table. But then little daddy started hitting the ball on the table, and then things got really interesting. It turned out that there are special blows: cut, twisted. After these hits the ball spins in different sides, flies fast or slow. A good player directs the ball to the most inconvenient place on the table for the opponent. Plates. Dad still thinks that ping-pong is very good game. Ping-pong became more interesting to little dad than anything else in the world. He stopped reading, stopped preparing his homework. He didn’t go to school to study, but to play his favorite game. He played better and better, but studied worse and worse.
The teacher spoke to him several times. She explained to him that everything should be in moderation. She reminded him of the proverb: “Business has time, but fun has time!”
Little daddy didn’t argue with her: why? After all, she could not understand that for little dad ping-pong was business, and everything else was fun. He played more than all his comrades. He has already beaten many people. But on the day he beat the school's third player, the teacher told him:
I want to talk to your parents! This cannot continue like this.
She wrote a letter to her grandparents. Grandparents did not receive this letter. Little dad himself took it out of the mailbox, read it himself and tore it himself. He tore this letter into small pieces, he didn’t like it so much. The teacher sent the grandparents a second letter. Little dad liked this letter even less. And he tore it into very small pieces.
I’m still ashamed to talk about this. But that's how it was.
The teacher was very surprised that grandparents did not come to her. But while she was writing them the third letter, little dad beat the school champion. After that, he decided that he had nothing more to do at school. And he stopped going there completely. Early in the morning he pretended to go to class. But there were no notebooks or textbooks in his briefcase. There were two ping pong rackets, a net and three balls. And the breakfast that little dad ate instead of lunch. He played ping-pong all day. The little gentleman made many new friends who were also crazy about ping-pong. He already knew all the Moscow champions by sight. The famous Falkevich brothers had already greeted him. He has already been accepted into the youth team. He had already lost his first game in the competition. He’s already... But the teacher is here. but receiving an answer to my letters and not seeing little daddy at school, I went to his house. She didn't find little daddy there. But she found her grandparents. When they found out that their son had not been going to school for a long time, but instead kicked a ball with a shovel all day, they were horrified. They decided that little daddy had gone crazy. After all, they didn't play ping pong. They took his rackets, hid his balls and took little daddy to the doctor. And not to an ordinary doctor, but to a famous professor. This professor spent his entire life treating crazy people. But he also never played ping pong. And he couldn’t believe that little daddy quit studying because of this game. And little dad couldn’t understand why the professor was asking him such strange questions. This is what the professor asked:
Do boys beat you at school?
Do you have insomnia?
Is your head watered in the morning?
Does it hurt in the evening?
Do you have night terrors?
Have you ever had fainting or seizures?
Then the professor asked him:
Do you love your school?
Is your teacher good?
Do you have friends at school?
Boys?
Girls?
Little dad answered all these questions:
Then the professor asked him:
Do you like one girl more than all of them?
Little Daddy got angry and said:
Doctor, why do you need to know all this? I dropped out of school because of ping pong. And all your other questions are useless.
“Okay,” said the professor. - What are you going to do now?
“Play ping-pong,” dad answered without hesitation.
How can this end? Have you thought about this?
“I thought,” said dad, “We can win the Moscow championship in our group.”
I'm talking to you seriously! - the professor shouted.
“I’m serious too,” said dad.
Then the professor waved his hand, dripped some medicine into the glass and said to dad:
Drink this.
“I don’t want to,” said dad, “I’m healthy.”
“But I don’t,” said the professor and drank the drops himself.
If I convince your parents to let you finish playing, will you promise me that you will go to school in the fall?
I promise,” said little dad.
Then the professor called the grandparents. He told them:
The boy is healthy. Let him play. The year is still gone. - And he drank his drops again.
And the parents took little daddy home.
Little daddy's team didn't win the championship. She took second place. But little daddy still doesn’t think that this year was in vain. He understood well that you can’t live by ping-pong alone. He even missed his school. And I went there with pleasure in the fall. He graduated from school. Many years have passed. His old racket is still on the cabinet. Grandfather and Grandmother still shudder when they see her. And little dad looks at the racket with pleasure. Of course, it was stupid to leave school because of ping-pong. And to this day, everyone laughs at dad when they hear about it. And it’s funny to him now. Still, ping pong is a good game. And someday I will write about this separately. I'll definitely write.
Little dad was very scared when his daughter also started playing ping-pong. And he was glad when he saw that she did not drop out of school because of ping-pong. But she was the champion of her school.
This is where he understood his grandparents. And he put his old racket away in the closet.
But sometimes he looks at her and remembers this story.
...................................................
Copyright: Alexander Raskin
When dad was still little, he was sick a lot. He caught a cold all the time. Now he sneezed, now he coughed, now his throat or ear hurt. And finally he was taken to a doctor who had a sign on the door: “Ear, nose and throat.”
- Is that his last name? – little dad asked his grandparents.
“No,” they said, “he cures all this.” And generally be silent!
After looking at daddy's ear, daddy's throat and daddy's nose, the doctor said that it was necessary to have an operation. And dad was taken to Moscow. He needed to have his adenoids cut out.
A very old, very strict, very gray-haired professor said to him:
- Boy, open your mouth!
And when dad opened his mouth, he, without even saying thank you, reached in with his hand, and climbed somewhere very deep, and began to tinker there. It was very painful and unpleasant. Therefore, when the professor said: “Here they are, my dears!” - and pressed even harder, he suddenly screamed terribly and took his hand out of daddy’s mouth much faster than he stuck it there. And everyone saw blood on his thumb. It became very quiet. Then the professor said:
He was given iodine and he lubricated his thumb. Then he said:
- Bandage and cotton wool!
They gave him a bandage and cotton wool, and he bandaged his finger with one hand.
– I’ve been working for forty years. It's the first time I've been bitten. Let whoever wants to operate on this boy. I'm leaving! I wash my hands!
After that, he actually washed his hands with soap and left. Then grandpa got very angry with dad. He said:
- You were taken to Moscow! You are being treated! What are you doing eating? Keep in mind that there is a dentist's office nearby. And there they pull out the teeth of those boys who bite doctors. Maybe you want to go there first? And I also promised you ice cream after the operation!
When dad heard about ice cream, he started thinking. The fact is that they didn’t give him ice cream. They were afraid that he would catch a cold in his ear, throat, and nose. And dad really loved ice cream. And he was told that after the operation all children must be given ice cream - it is very useful, it stops the bleeding. They really did that back then. And, thinking about ice cream, dad said:
- I won’t do it again...
But still, the young doctor who performed the operation warned dad:
- Remember, you promised!
And dad said again:
- I won’t...
They put dad in a chair and held him by the arms and legs. But it's not because he bit. This is done with all children so that they do not interfere with the doctor. It was very painful. But dad thought about ice cream and endured everything. Then the doctor said:
- Well, that's all! Well done! Didn't even cry.
Dad was very happy. But then the doctor shouted:
- Oh, sorry, there’s still a piece left! Will you be patient a little longer?
“I’ll be patient,” said dad and again began to think about ice cream.
“Well,” said the doctor, “that’s all now!” Well done! I didn’t cry! Now we can have some ice cream. Which one do you like?
“Creamy,” said dad and looked at grandpa. But grandpa was still angry with dad.
- Can do without ice cream! – he said. “Let him not bite.”
And then, realizing that there would be no ice cream, dad still began to cry. And everyone felt sorry for him. But grandfather did not give in. And Palya was so offended that he still remembers it. And no matter how much ice cream he has eaten since then - cream, chocolate, and strawberry, he cannot forget the one that was promised to him then, after the operation.
Dad began to get sick less. He sneezed less, coughed less, his throat and even his ear hurt less.
The operation helped my dad a lot. And he realized then that he had to be patient a little so that it would get better later. And although various doctors later cut and stabbed him a lot, he no longer bit any of them. He knew that this was being done for his benefit. He only bought himself ice cream every time. Because dad still loves ice cream.
HOW DADDY CHOOSE A PROFESSION
When dad was little, he was often asked the same question. They asked him: “Who will you be? And dad always answered this question without hesitation. But each time he answered differently. At first, dad wanted to become a night watchman. He really liked that everyone was sleeping, but the watchman was not sleeping. And then he really liked the mallet that the night watchman uses to knock. And the fact that you could make noise when everyone was sleeping made dad very happy. He was determined to become a night watchman when he grew up. But then an ice cream seller appeared with a beautiful green cart. The cart could be transported! You could eat the ice cream!
“I’ll sell one portion, I’ll eat one!” – Dad thought. “And I’ll treat little children to ice cream for free.”
The little dad's parents were very surprised to learn that their son would be an ice cream maker. They laughed at him for a long time. But he firmly chose this fun and tasty profession. But one day little dad saw an amazing man at the railway station. This man played with carriages and locomotives all the time. Not with toy ones, but with real ones! He jumped onto the platforms, lay under the carriages and all the time played some wonderful game.
- Who is this? - Dad asked.
“This is a wagon coupler,” they answered him. And then little dad finally realized who he would be.
Just think! Couple and uncouple the cars! What could be more interesting in the world? Of course, nothing could be more interesting. When dad announced that he would be a coupler on the railroad, one of his friends asked:
– What about ice cream?
Then dad became thoughtful. He was determined to become a coupler. But he didn’t want to give up the green ice cream cart either. And so little dad found a way out.
- I will be a coupler and an ice cream maker! - he said.
Everyone was very surprised. But little daddy explained it to them. He said:
- It's not difficult at all. In the morning I will go with ice cream. I walk, walk, and then run to the station. I’ll hitch up the trailers there and run back to the ice cream. Then I run to the station again, uncouple the carriages and run to the ice cream again. And so all the time. I’ll place the cart close to the station so that I don’t have to run far to connect and uncouple.
Everyone laughed a lot. Then little daddy got angry and said:
“And if you laugh, I’ll still work as a night watchman.” After all, I have a free night. And I already know how to bang a mallet really well. One watchman let me try...
That's how dad arranged everything. But soon he wanted to become a pilot. Then he wanted to become an artist and play on stage. Then he visited the same factory with his grandfather and decided to become a turner. In addition, he really wanted to become a cabin boy on a ship. Or, as a last resort, become a shepherd and walk with the cows all day, loudly cracking the whip. And one day, more than anything in his life, he wanted to become a dog. He ran on all fours all day, barked at strangers and even tried to bite one an elderly woman when she wanted to pat him on the head. Little daddy learned to bark very well, but he couldn’t learn to scratch behind the ear with his foot, although he tried his best. And to make it work better, he went out into the yard and sat down next to Tuzik. And an unfamiliar military man was walking down the street. He stopped and began to look at dad. I looked and looked and then asked:
-What are you doing, boy?
“I want to become a dog,” said little dad. Then the unfamiliar military man asked:
– Don’t you want to be a human?
- And I’ve been a man for a long time! - said dad.
“What kind of person are you,” said the military man, “if you don’t even make a dog?” Is this a person?
- Which one? - Dad asked.
Current page: 1 (book has 3 pages in total)
Alexander Borisovich Raskin
How dad was little
FROM THE AUTHOR
DEAR GUYS!
I want to tell you how this book was born. Here's her story. I have a daughter Sasha. She's a big girl now. She herself now often says: “When I was little...” So, when Sasha was very little, she was sick a lot. She either had the flu or a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you've ever had an ear infection, you don't need to explain how painful it is. And if it didn’t happen, then there’s no need to explain it either - you’ll never understand it.
One day Sasha’s ear hurt so much that she cried for the whole day and could hardly sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read her different books or told her funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also little, he was also naughty and disobeyed, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started shooting in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry up and tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funnier stories: after all, I needed to cheer up the sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, and arrogant. But this does not mean at all that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them was once small too. So all these stories were not made up by me, but actually happened.
Now Sasha has grown up. She gets sick less and reads big, thick books herself.
But I decided that maybe other kids would also be interested in learning about how one dad was little.
That's all I wanted to tell you guys. No, I’ll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell you how he was little. And mom too. I'd like to listen to them myself.
Well, that's it now. Goodbye guys! I wish you happiness and health.
Respecting you
A. Raskin
HOW DADDY THROWED THE BALL UNDER THE CAR
When dad was still little and lived in the small town of Pavlovo Posad, he was given a large ball of amazing beauty. This ball was like the sun. No, he was even better than the sun. Firstly, you could look at him without squinting. And he was exactly four times more beautiful than the sun, because he had four colors. But the sun only has one color, and even that is difficult to see. One side of the ball was pink, like marshmallow, the other was brown, like the most delicious chocolate. The top was blue like the sky, and the bottom was green like grass. Such a ball had never been seen before in the small town of Pavlovo Posad. They specially went to Moscow to pick him up. But I think that in Moscow there were few such balls. Not only children, but also adults came to see him.
“This is a ball!” everyone said.
And it was a truly beautiful ball. And dad was very proud. He behaved as if he had invented this ball himself, made it and painted it in four colors. When dad proudly went outside to play with his beautiful ball, boys came running from all sides.
- Oh, what a ball! - they said. - Let me play!
But dad grabbed his ball and said:
- I won’t give it! This is my ball! No one has this! It was brought from Moscow! Move away! Don't touch my ball!
And then the boys said:
- Oh, you greedy thing!
But dad still didn’t give them his wonderful ball. He played with it alone. And it’s very boring to play alone. And the greedy dad purposely played around the boys so that they would envy him.
And then the boys said this:
- He's greedy. Let's not mess with him!
And they didn’t see him for two days. And on the third day they said this:
-Your ball is okay. That's right. It's big and nicely colored. But if you throw it under a car, it will burst like the worst black ball. So there is no point in turning up your nose so much.
- My ball will never burst! - Dad said proudly, who by that time was so arrogant, as if he himself had been painted four colors.
- It’s about to burst! - the boys laughed.
- No, it won’t burst!
“Here comes the car,” the boys said. - Well, what are you doing? Give it up! Or scared?
And little daddy threw his ball under the car. Everyone froze for a minute. The ball rolled between the front wheels and landed under the right rear wheel. The car was all twisted, ran over the ball and rushed on. But the ball remained completely unharmed.
- It didn’t burst! It didn't burst! - Dad shouted and ran to his ball. But then there was a noise as if a small cannon had been fired. It was the ball that burst. And when dad reached him, he saw only a dusty rubber rag, completely ugly and uninteresting. And then dad started crying and ran home. And the boys laughed with all their might.
- Burst! Burst! - they shouted. - Serves you right, greedy!
When dad ran home and said that he himself threw his wonderful new ball under the car, his grandmother immediately spanked him. In the evening, grandfather came home from work and spanked him too.
At the same time he said:
“I don’t hit for the ball, but for stupidity.”
And for a long time afterwards everyone was surprised: how could such a good ball be thrown under a car?
“Only a very stupid boy could do that!” - everyone said.
And for a long time everyone teased dad and asked:
-Where is your new ball?
And only one uncle did not laugh. He asked dad to tell him everything from the very beginning. Then he said:
- No, you're not stupid!
And dad was very happy.
“But you’re greedy and boastful,” said my uncle. - And this is very sad for you. Anyone who wants to play alone with his ball is always left with nothing. This happens in both children and adults. This will be the case for your entire life if you remain the same.
And then dad got very scared, and cried with all his might, and said that he didn’t want to be greedy and boastful. He cried so long and so loudly that his uncle believed him and bought a new ball. True, he was not so handsome. But all the neighborhood boys played with this ball. And it was fun, and no one teased dad about being greedy.
HOW DADDY TAMED THE DOG
When dad was still little, he was taken to the circus. It was very interesting. He especially liked the wild animal tamer. He dressed very nicely, had a very nice name, and all the lions and tigers were afraid of him. He had a whip and pistols, but he hardly used them.
- And the animals are afraid of my eyes! – he declared from the arena. – My opinion is my most powerful weapon! The wild beast cannot stand the human gaze!
Indeed, as soon as he looked at the lion, it would sit on a pedestal, jump on a barrel and even pretend to be dead, unable to bear his gaze.
The orchestra played carcasses, the audience clapped their hands, everyone looked at the tamer, and he pressed his hands to his heart and bowed in all directions. It was great! And dad decided that he too would become a tamer. To begin with, he decided to tame some not-so-wild animal with his gaze. After all, dad was still little. He understood that such large animals as a lion and a tiger were still too tough for him. You need to start with a dog and, of course, not a very big one, because a big dog is almost a small lion. But a smaller dog would be just right.
And such an opportunity soon presented itself.
In the small town of Pavlovo Posad there was a small city garden. Now there is a large park of culture and recreation, but that was a very long time ago. Grandma went for a walk with little dad in this garden. Dad was playing, grandma was reading a book, and an elegant lady with a dog was sitting nearby. The lady was also reading a book. And the dog was small, white, with big black eyes. With those big black eyes she looked at little daddy as if she was telling him: “I really want to tame myself! Please boy, tame me. I absolutely can’t stand the human gaze!”
And little dad went across the entire garden to tame this dog. Grandma was reading a book, and the dog’s owner was reading a book, and they didn’t see anything. The dog lay under the bench and looked mysteriously at dad with its big black eyes. Dad walked very slowly (after all, he was still very small) and thought: “Oh, it seems she can’t stand my gaze... Maybe it would have been better to start with the lion? It seems she has changed her mind about taming herself.”
It was a very hot day, and dad was wearing only sandals and pants. Dad walked, but the dog still lay there and was silent. But when dad came very close, she suddenly jumped up and bit him in the stomach. Then the city garden became very noisy. Dad screamed. Grandma screamed. The dog's owner screamed. And the dog barked loudly. Dad shouted:
- Oh, she bit me!
Grandmother shouted:
- Oh, she bit him!
The dog's owner shouted:
“He teased her, she doesn’t bite at all!”
You yourself understand what the dog was screaming. They came running different people and shouted:
- Disgrace!
Then the watchman came and asked:
- Boy, were you teasing her?
“No,” said dad, “I tamed her.”
Then everyone laughed, and the watchman asked:
- How did you do it?
“I walked towards her and looked at her,” said dad. “Now I see that she cannot stand the human gaze.”
Everyone laughed again.
“You see,” said the lady, “the boy is to blame.” Nobody asked him to tame my dog. And you,” she told the grandmother, “should be fined so that you look after your children!”
Grandma was so surprised that she didn’t say anything. She just gasped. Then the watchman said:
“There’s a notice hanging up: “No dogs allowed!” If there was a notice: “Don’t bring children!”, I would fine a citizen with a child. And now I will fine you. And I ask you to leave with your dog. The child plays, and the dog bites. You can play here, but you can't bite! But you also need to play wisely. After all, the dog doesn’t know why you came to it. Maybe you wanted to bite her yourself? She doesn't know this. Understood?
“I understand,” dad answered. He no longer wanted to be a tamer. And after the vaccinations, which he was given just in case, he was completely disillusioned with this profession.
He also now had his own special opinion about the unbearable human gaze. And when he later met a boy who was trying to pluck the eyelashes of a big and angry dog, dad and this boy understood each other very well.
And the fact that this boy was not bitten in the stomach did not matter, because he was bitten on both cheeks at once. And this, as they say, immediately caught my eye. But he was still vaccinated in the stomach.
HOW DADDY WENT POEMES
When dad was still little, he read a lot. He learned to read at age four and didn't want to do anything else. While other children were jumping, running, playing different interesting games, little daddy read and read. Finally it bothered the grandparents. They decided that reading all the time was harmful. They stopped giving him books and only allowed him to read three hours a day. But it didn't help. Little daddy still read from morning to evening. He spent his legal three hours reading, sitting in plain sight. Then he went into hiding. He hid under the bed and read under the bed. He hid in the attic and read in the attic. He went to the hayloft and read in the hayloft. It was especially pleasant here. It smelled like fresh hay. Screams were heard from the house: they were looking for little daddy under all the beds. Dad only showed up for dinner. He was being punished. He quickly ate and went to bed. At night he woke up and turned on the light. He read everything until the morning. "Crocodile" by Chukovsky. Tales of Pushkin. "A Thousand and One Nights." "Gulliver". "Robinson". There were so many wonderful books in the world! He wanted to read them all. The hours passed quickly. The grandmother came in, took the book away and turned off the light. A little later, little dad turned on the light again and took out another book, just as interesting. Grandfather would come in, take away the book, turn off the light, and spank little daddy for a long time in the dark.
It wasn't very painful, but it was annoying.
It all ended very badly. Firstly, little daddy ruined his eyes: after all, it was a little dark under the bed, in the attic and in the hayloft. In addition, lately he had managed to read, covering his head with a blanket and leaving only a small window for light. And reading while lying down and in the dark is very harmful. And little dad had to wear glasses.
In addition, little dad composed poems:
He saw the cat and said: “Here.”
Cat!
He saw the dog and said: “Tuzik,”
Where is your cap?
He saw a rooster and said: “Cockerel, cockerel,”
How much is tooth powder?
He saw his dad and said: “Father!”
Give me a lollipop!
My grandparents really liked the poems. They wrote them down. They read them to the guests. They let them write them off. Now, when guests came, little dad was asked:
- Read your poems!
And little dad enjoyed reading a new verse about a cat, which ended like this:
Vaska the cat was not afraid
And he jumped out the window!
The guests laughed a lot. They understood that these were very bad poems. Anyone can write something like that. But little dad thought the poems were very good. He thought that the guests were laughing with pleasure. He decided that he was already a writer. He read poetry at all name days. He read before the pie and after the pie. When Aunt Lisa got married, he also read poetry. And it didn’t work out very well, because the poems began like this:
Aunt Lisa is getting married!
Who could expect such a surprise?
After these words, all the guests laughed for a long time, and Aunt Lisa began to cry and went to her room. The groom didn’t laugh either, although he didn’t cry. True, dad was not punished. But he didn’t want to offend Aunt Lisa at all. And in general, he noticed that some of his friends no longer liked his poems. And once he even overheard one guest say to another:
– Again this child prodigy will perform with his nonsense!
Then dad went to grandma and asked:
– What is a child prodigy?
“This is an extraordinary child,” said the grandmother.
- What is he doing?
- Well, he plays the violin, or counts in his head, or doesn’t pester his mother with questions.
– When does he grow up?
“Then he most often becomes an ordinary person.”
“Thank you,” said dad, “I understand.”
And at the next name day, dad no longer read poetry.
He said he had a headache. And since then he did not write poetry for a very long time. And even now, when he is asked to read his poems on name days, his head immediately begins to hurt.
HOW DADDY BITTEN THE PROFESSOR
When dad was still little, he was sick a lot. He caught a cold all the time. Now he sneezed, now he coughed, now his throat or ear hurt. And finally he was taken to a doctor who had a sign on the door: “Ear, nose and throat.”
- Is that his last name? – little dad asked his grandparents.
“No,” they said, “he cures all this.” And generally be silent!
After looking at daddy's ear, daddy's throat and daddy's nose, the doctor said that it was necessary to have an operation. And dad was taken to Moscow. He needed to have his adenoids cut out.
A very old, very strict, very gray-haired professor said to him:
- Boy, open your mouth!
And when dad opened his mouth, he, without even saying thank you, reached in with his hand, and climbed somewhere very deep, and began to tinker there. It was very painful and unpleasant. Therefore, when the professor said: “Here they are, my dears!” - and pressed even harder, he suddenly screamed terribly and took his hand out of daddy’s mouth much faster than he stuck it there. And everyone saw blood on his thumb. It became very quiet. Then the professor said:
He was given iodine and he lubricated his thumb. Then he said:
- Bandage and cotton wool!
They gave him a bandage and cotton wool, and he bandaged his finger with one hand.
– I’ve been working for forty years. It's the first time I've been bitten. Let whoever wants to operate on this boy. I'm leaving! I wash my hands!
After that, he actually washed his hands with soap and left. Then grandpa got very angry with dad. He said:
- You were taken to Moscow! You are being treated! What are you doing eating? Keep in mind that there is a dentist's office nearby. And there they pull out the teeth of those boys who bite doctors. Maybe you want to go there first? And I also promised you ice cream after the operation!
When dad heard about ice cream, he started thinking. The fact is that they didn’t give him ice cream. They were afraid that he would catch a cold in his ear, throat, and nose. And dad really loved ice cream. And he was told that after the operation all children must be given ice cream - it is very useful, it stops the bleeding. They really did that back then. And, thinking about ice cream, dad said:
- I won’t do it again...
But still, the young doctor who performed the operation warned dad:
- Remember, you promised!
And dad said again:
- I won’t...
They put dad in a chair and held him by the arms and legs. But it's not because he bit. This is done with all children so that they do not interfere with the doctor. It was very painful. But dad thought about ice cream and endured everything. Then the doctor said:
- Well, that's all! Well done! Didn't even cry.
Dad was very happy. But then the doctor shouted:
- Oh, sorry, there’s still a piece left! Will you be patient a little longer?
“I’ll be patient,” said dad and again began to think about ice cream.
“Well,” said the doctor, “now that’s all!” Well done! I didn’t cry! Now we can have some ice cream. Which one do you like?
“Creamy,” said dad and looked at grandpa. But grandpa was still angry with dad.
- Can do without ice cream! - he said. - Let him not bite.
And then, realizing that there would be no ice cream, dad still began to cry. And everyone felt sorry for him. But grandfather did not give in. And Palya was so offended that he still remembers it. And no matter how much ice cream he has eaten since then - cream, chocolate, and strawberry, he cannot forget the one that was promised to him then, after the operation.
Dad began to get sick less. He sneezed less, coughed less, his throat and even his ear hurt less.
The operation helped my dad a lot. And he realized then that he had to be patient a little so that it would get better later. And although various doctors later cut and stabbed him a lot, he no longer bit any of them. He knew that this was being done for his benefit. He only bought himself ice cream every time. Because dad still loves ice cream.
HOW DADDY CHOOSE A PROFESSION
When dad was little, he was often asked the same question. They asked him: “Who will you be? And dad always answered this question without hesitation. But each time he answered differently. At first, dad wanted to become a night watchman. He really liked that everyone was sleeping, but the watchman was not sleeping. And then he really liked the mallet that the night watchman uses to knock. And the fact that you could make noise when everyone was sleeping made dad very happy. He was determined to become a night watchman when he grew up. But then an ice cream seller appeared with a beautiful green cart. The cart could be transported! You could eat the ice cream!
“I’ll sell one portion, I’ll eat one!” – Dad thought. “And I’ll treat little children to ice cream for free.”
The little dad's parents were very surprised to learn that their son would be an ice cream maker. They laughed at him for a long time. But he firmly chose this fun and tasty profession. But one day little dad saw an amazing man at the railway station. This man played with carriages and locomotives all the time. Not with toy ones, but with real ones! He jumped onto the platforms, lay under the carriages and all the time played some wonderful game.
- Who is this? - Dad asked.
“This is a wagon coupler,” they answered him. And then little dad finally realized who he would be.
Just think! Couple and uncouple the cars! What could be more interesting in the world? Of course, nothing could be more interesting. When dad announced that he would be a coupler on the railroad, one of his friends asked:
– What about ice cream?
Then dad became thoughtful. He was determined to become a coupler. But he didn’t want to give up the green ice cream cart either. And so little dad found a way out.
- I will be a coupler and an ice cream maker! - he said.
Everyone was very surprised. But little daddy explained it to them. He said:
- It's not difficult at all. In the morning I will go with ice cream. I walk, walk, and then run to the station. I’ll hitch up the trailers there and run back to the ice cream. Then I run to the station again, uncouple the carriages and run to the ice cream again. And so all the time. I’ll place the cart close to the station so that I don’t have to run far to connect and uncouple.
Everyone laughed a lot. Then little daddy got angry and said:
“And if you laugh, I’ll still work as a night watchman.” After all, I have a free night. And I already know how to bang a mallet really well. One watchman let me try...
That's how dad arranged everything. But soon he wanted to become a pilot. Then he wanted to become an artist and play on stage. Then he visited the same factory with his grandfather and decided to become a turner. In addition, he really wanted to become a cabin boy on a ship. Or, as a last resort, become a shepherd and walk with the cows all day, loudly cracking the whip. And one day, more than anything in his life, he wanted to become a dog. All day long he ran on all fours, barked at strangers and even tried to bite one elderly woman when she wanted to pat him on the head. Little daddy learned to bark very well, but he couldn’t learn to scratch behind the ear with his foot, although he tried his best. And to make it work better, he went out into the yard and sat down next to Tuzik. And an unfamiliar military man was walking down the street. He stopped and began to look at dad. I looked and looked and then asked:
-What are you doing, boy?
“I want to become a dog,” said little dad. Then the unfamiliar military man asked:
– Don’t you want to be a human?
- And I’ve been a man for a long time! - said dad.
“What kind of person are you,” said the military man, “if you don’t even make a dog?” Is this a person?
- Which one? - Dad asked.
- Just think about it? - said the military man and left. He didn't laugh at all or even smile. But for some reason little daddy felt very ashamed. And he began to think. He thought and thought, and the more he thought, the more ashamed he became. The military man did not explain anything to him. But he himself suddenly realized that he couldn’t choose a new profession every day. And most importantly, he realized that he was still small and that he himself did not yet know who he would be. When he was asked about this again, he remembered the military man and said:
- I will be a man!
And then no one laughed. And little dad realized that this was the most correct answer. And now he thinks so too. First of all, you need to be a good person. This is most important for the pilot, and for the turner, and for the shepherd, and for the artist. And there is no need for a person to scratch behind the ear with his foot.
Audio stories How Dad Was Little, a work by Alexander Raskin. The stories can be listened to online or downloaded. The audiobook “How Dad Was Little” is presented in mp3 format.
Audio stories How dad was little, content:
Funny audio stories How Dad Was Little - short stories about the childhood of a now adult. The first literary sketch tells about a ball that was thrown by a boy under the wheels of a car, and, of course, was hopelessly damaged.
Then, impressed by the circus, the child decides to become a trainer and tries to tame an unfamiliar small dog. Of course it all ends with a bite! And then the boy himself bit... the professor who was going to operate on him. Luckily this was the only time main character these stories bit someone.
There's so much to talk about in these online audio stories! What didn’t dad do when he was a child! He was offended, made friends with girls, quarreled with girls, talked with the poet Mayakovsky himself, managed to write two essays at once, and performed in amateur performances.
He also jumped from the balcony, tricked the teacher, went to the movies, knew how to make a stool, played ping-pong and did many other fun and interesting things! In short, there is a lot to listen to in this wonderful collection of stories!
Alexander Borisovich Raskin
How dad was little
DEAR GUYS!
I want to tell you how this book was born. Here's her story. I have a daughter Sasha. She's a big girl now. She herself now often says: “When I was little...” So, when Sasha was very little, she was sick a lot. She either had the flu or a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you've ever had an ear infection, you don't need to explain how painful it is. And if it didn’t happen, then there’s no need to explain it either - you’ll never understand it.
One day Sasha’s ear hurt so much that she cried for the whole day and could hardly sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read her different books or told her funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also little, he was also naughty and disobeyed, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started shooting in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry up and tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funnier stories: after all, I needed to cheer up the sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, and arrogant. But this does not mean at all that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them was once small too. So all these stories were not made up by me, but actually happened.
Now Sasha has grown up. She gets sick less and reads big, thick books herself.
But I decided that maybe other kids would also be interested in learning about how one dad was little.
That's all I wanted to tell you guys. No, I’ll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell you how he was little. And mom too. I'd like to listen to them myself.
Well, that's it now. Goodbye guys! I wish you happiness and health.
Respecting you
A. Raskin
HOW DADDY THROWED THE BALL UNDER THE CAR
When dad was still little and lived in the small town of Pavlovo Posad, he was given a large ball of amazing beauty. This ball was like the sun. No, he was even better than the sun. Firstly, you could look at him without squinting. And he was exactly four times more beautiful than the sun, because he had four colors. But the sun only has one color, and even that is difficult to see. One side of the ball was pink, like marshmallow, the other was brown, like the most delicious chocolate. The top was blue like the sky, and the bottom was green like grass. Such a ball had never been seen before in the small town of Pavlovo Posad. They specially went to Moscow to pick him up. But I think that in Moscow there were few such balls. Not only children, but also adults came to see him.
“This is a ball!” everyone said.
And it was a truly beautiful ball. And dad was very proud. He behaved as if he had invented this ball himself, made it and painted it in four colors. When dad proudly went outside to play with his beautiful ball, boys came running from all sides.
- Oh, what a ball! - they said. - Let me play!
But dad grabbed his ball and said:
- I won’t give it! This is my ball! No one has this! It was brought from Moscow! Move away! Don't touch my ball!
And then the boys said:
- Oh, you greedy thing!
But dad still didn’t give them his wonderful ball. He played with it alone. And it’s very boring to play alone. And the greedy dad purposely played around the boys so that they would envy him.
And then the boys said this:
- He's greedy. Let's not mess with him!
And they didn’t see him for two days. And on the third day they said this:
-Your ball is okay. That's right. It's big and nicely colored. But if you throw it under a car, it will burst like the worst black ball. So there is no point in turning up your nose so much.
- My ball will never burst! - Dad said proudly, who by that time was so arrogant, as if he himself had been painted four colors.
- It’s about to burst! - the boys laughed.
- No, it won’t burst!
“Here comes the car,” the boys said. - Well, what are you doing? Give it up! Or scared?
And little daddy threw his ball under the car. Everyone froze for a minute. The ball rolled between the front wheels and landed under the right rear wheel. The car was all twisted, ran over the ball and rushed on. But the ball remained completely unharmed.
- It didn’t burst! It didn't burst! - Dad shouted and ran to his ball. But then there was a noise as if a small cannon had been fired. It was the ball that burst. And when dad reached him, he saw only a dusty rubber rag, completely ugly and uninteresting. And then dad started crying and ran home. And the boys laughed with all their might.
- Burst! Burst! - they shouted. - Serves you right, greedy!
When dad ran home and said that he himself threw his wonderful new ball under the car, his grandmother immediately spanked him. In the evening, grandfather came home from work and spanked him too.
At the same time he said:
“I don’t hit for the ball, but for stupidity.”
And for a long time afterwards everyone was surprised: how could such a good ball be thrown under a car?
