DOD or let's remain friends, a phrase that horrifies many young guys. I can assume that if you are reading this article, you were offered the ill-fated DOD, and now you are looking for cunning ways to remove it and transform the relationship into love. Let's talk about this topic. At one time I came across these three words. True, the proposal to remain friends was formulated somewhat differently, but this does not change the essence. What did I do? I broke off all relations with that girl. And you know, deep down I regret it.
In what case does a girl offer DOD?
In my opinion there is two main options:
First option , this is when an offer of friendship can be likened to the word “Fuck off.” The girl is absolutely not interested in you: no common interests, different worldviews, tastes, lifestyle (you can continue ad infinitum). No comments.
Second option (by the way, the most common), is completely opposite to the first. The girl likes you... but as a friend. The reasons for this must first be sought in oneself, and not in someone else. The most basic reason why a girl offers to remain friends is that she simply does not see a male in you. Yes, there may be hundreds of others (the girl is tired of the relationship, she doesn’t need a relationship at all, she likes someone else, etc.), but this is the most common.
How to respond to an offer to remain friends?
In the first option, it seems to me that the most reasonable thing would be to find a more suitable girl. Thank God, there are a lot of them, and if you want, you will find it.
Choosing the right solution in the second option is somewhat more difficult. If a girl sincerely loves you as a friend, if she appreciates and understands you, then telling the girl “Goodbye” (or other more offensive phrases that often flash on pickup forums) is somehow wrong and stupid. After all, life doesn't end there. Maintain friendly relations with her, and at the same time look for a new girl. And stop thinking about this: most likely, you are idealizing it, and it would be worth thinking about it less.
It’s another matter if you are not absolutely satisfied with this state of affairs. You don’t need friendships, you have a lot of friends (girlfriends), and the girl who suggested DOD is ideal: tastes completely coincide in everything, you like her appearance, manners, gestures, facial expressions, gait, clothing style (and this list goes on for a very long time). And, of course, all my advice about finding a bunch of more girls for yourself will be like a squid hitting a wall. In this case, there can be two solutions: either you overpower yourself and reduce communication to a minimum (roughly speaking, you send, although sending, of course, is not at all necessary), or you achieve reciprocity. Well, you can achieve reciprocity; as usual, it’s only a matter of your desire.
Greetings to all the guys who have heard the phrase at least once in their lives: honey, let's remain friends! Today I want to talk about why girls do this and what the main problems of young people are. After all, it often happens that you love, you blow away specks of dust from her, you always come to the rescue, but in the end she gives up. In addition, we will find out how to behave if a girl wants to remain friends.
Why did the girl send you to the friend zone?
In order to never hear such phrases in your life, to always woo women and to be a seductive suitor, the book “ From the bar to the bedroom. How to seduce a woman and please her" Yes, it is hard work, but to achieve the result you will have to work a little.
So, what mistakes do guys make when communicating with girls that lead them to such a famous friend zone? Of course, excessive attention to the young lady. She said she was going out with a friend, and you were texting her every half hour, or worse, every ten minutes. Believe me, there are few women in the world who love it when their boyfriend behaves this way.
I once asked a friend why she sent her next boyfriend to the friend zone. Her literal answer: he is all so sweet, soft, does everything I want, is it possible to build a real relationship with such a guy? But then she admitted that she didn’t really like him in bed either.
What is the conclusion? Be a real male in bed and not fawn over the young lady. This does not mean that you should completely ignore her requests for help or not pay attention to her at all. But being a little distant is okay.
Your self-confidence plays a major role here. A confident guy will never act like a slob who runs after his mother's skirt and asks permission to meet his friends at the sports bar.
Sometimes girls do this after a long relationship. Why? There can actually be many reasons. She has another option in mind: she’s tired of the relationship, she wants changes in her life, she’s bored with you, or she really wants to see you as a friend. I don’t know what specific case you have, but if you write in the comments, then we can all help you together.
There are only two solutions
Whatever the reason for this turn of events, there can be only two outcomes: you will separate for good or you will still fight for the relationship. Let's first talk about how you can fight for love. After all, it also happens that she loves you too, but something prevents her from being close to you. What to do in such a situation?
If these are truly bright feelings, you cannot live without this young lady and you want to win her again, then you will have to work hard. To begin with, when talking, you need to calmly agree with her. Try to understand why she does this, find out the reason, find out what doesn’t suit her and give her time to be alone with herself.
And at this time you disappear from her field of vision for a while. Don’t call first, don’t write, no matter how much you want to, don’t meet with her, even if she really asks. Now you're busy, you don't have time.
Just no rudeness or other obscene behavior. Everything is very respectful and delicate. She must understand that you have your own life without her. This will make her think that she might lose you forever.
While you are not in her life, you have to work on yourself a little. For what? So that the girl you love, who left you and decided to remain friends, understands that she made a terrible mistake.
What changes need to happen in your life? Start by reading the article - “” and try to develop in yourself all those qualities that so attract the fair sex.
Your main task is to become interesting, a little inaccessible, independent and self-confident. Only then will the former passion understand what she has done. When you resume communication, do not let her get too close for a while.
For example, invite her to go out of town for the weekend and if you hear awkward silence, then calmly answer: calm down, I’m just calling you as a friend! This will show the girl that you are the boss of the situation, not her.
But as practice often shows, while a guy changes and becomes more confident in himself, he practically does not want to return to the young lady who started this whole mess. And here we come to the second decision - to separate for good.
Believe me, most likely you won’t be able to remain friends. And you can honestly and directly tell her about this: they say, I’m sorry, dear, I would like to see you as my beloved, but certainly not as a friend, I have enough friends. After all, you really dreamed of building something more than just friendly relations with her.
Do you want to become a skilled ladies' man? Then my article “How to make a woman run after you” will help you. Your main tools are respect for a woman. Believe me, if you are sincerely interested in her, she will feel it and will be more likely to reciprocate your feelings.
Don't get hung up on the young lady who kicked you off. Look around, there are probably a couple more beauties nearby that are worthy of your attention.
Why do you think the girl did this to you? Which of the following mistakes have you made yourself? Do young ladies often want to remain friends with you?
Be bolder and more confident in yourself, and then you will definitely succeed!
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“Friendship between a man and a woman: you try to be a friend, but you hope for more, she leaves you with hope in order to use you fully.”
- Roman Vinilov.
This happens to every man at least once in his life: a girl he likes offers to remain friends. This is hard to come to terms with. But the most unpleasant thing in such a situation is that you have little hope left. Logic dictates that if you have not received a rude refusal and the girl in general is not against communication, then you need just a little more for more. Perhaps she just didn’t have time to understand how cool you are. And here many make the most terrible mistake - they try to prove to the girl that she is wrong. Why this is so terrible – we’ll talk below.
What does "Let's remain friends" mean?
Perhaps you yourself realize that women’s “yes” or “no” are not always spoken sincerely. If a girl has offered to communicate, it seems that this is some kind of borderline position between “yes” and “no”. But here lies danger. Even the firmest “no” is only a test, but “let’s remain friends” most often means indifference to you as a man. She, of course, could tell you rudely, but this happens extremely rarely. The cynicism is that any man is much more useful as a friend than as an enemy or acquaintance. However, most likely you will be the friend, and she will be the one to use.
A slightly different situation if you have already met before: you had a serious relationship, sex. The girl offers to remain friends because, in essence, she wants to break up. There may be various reasons for this: she became bored with you, you stopped exciting her - you are no longer perceived as a man. We'll talk about how to deal with this at the very end. But much of what will be written below is useful for everyone to know.
Why you shouldn't try to convince her
Despite the seemingly illogical behavior, chaotic actions and frivolity in views, girls are extremely specific when it comes to choosing a man. They make their verdict very quickly: you either hooked her as a man - a possible sexual partner - or not. The worst thing you can do is try to convince her verbally. It never works.
Second, but no less bad, is trying to impress her. Even if you decide to look after her beautifully, all your actions will most likely be perceived as the actions of a weak person. Of course, only a stupid lady would refuse beautiful courtship, where the girl is showered with flowers and given expensive gifts. But she will always emphasize that you are just friends. Thus, she will be simply happy: her friends will be jealous of having a new boyfriend, while she will be roughly but efficiently fucked by someone who treats her much cooler than you.
What to do?
The best advice is to think carefully do you need it at all. Have you overestimated its value to yourself? And ideally, just switch to others.
Just take a break (it can’t get any worse) and distract yourself for a while. Then choose a day to think carefully. Don't be surprised, but most of us hardly take the time to reflect on our lives. And to understand feelings, you need a peaceful state and clarity of mind. Just go to the park and turn off your phone. Sitting on a bench on a sunny day, or taking a leisurely walk, rewind time and understand for yourself: do you like this girl that much? An analysis of her actions and attitude towards you, as well as episodes from your past life, will help you understand everything. Perhaps by evening you will return home in full confidence that this bitch is not worth you.
Every man is a hunter by nature. We like to achieve our goal - this is how we get a new portion of testosterone and feel the taste of life. There is little that compares to the feeling of victory, especially if it was difficult. The forbidden fruit is sweet, and after a girl offers companionship, sex with her seems like the most desirable trophy. Wounded pride hits men the hardest: it drives them into depression and destroys self-esteem. But imagine for a second that all your suffering could be due to only one thing - you would like to fuck her. And even if not only this: it seems to you that you are in love - how can you be sure of this if you haven’t even had sex?
And no matter how it turns out in the end that you get your way and lose interest. First of all, you will hurt the girl. Secondly, you yourself will experience an unpleasant feeling from the fact that you deceived yourself.
In any case, after the girl suggested remaining friends, you have time to think. In this case, it only works for you. After all, if she said that, it’s important to take a step back. Below you will find out why.
Disappear from radar for a while
So, you still decided that you need her, or you just want to achieve her, no matter what. I hope you understand that the root of the problem lies in yourself, and who you are now is not at all interesting to this girl as a man.
Ok, agree to friendship and pretend that you are okay with it. But stop doing everything she asks once and for all. After a while, completely ignore her: no calls or messages. If you write or call yourself, you can answer in monosyllables, referring to being busy, but politely and without emotion. Let him think that something interesting is happening in your life. Keep communication to a minimum, ideally to zero. And try not to catch her eye at all in life.
She'll try to pull the old strings, especially if your “friendship” has been going on for a long time and she is used to you showing up at the snap of a finger. This is where the process of changing her attitude towards you begins: you are no longer on a leash. The main thing is not to give up and play until the end.
Start changing
You need to actively develop, and you need to do this for yourself, and not for her.
- Your image. This is the simplest thing you can change about yourself in a short time. If you don’t play sports, start immediately. Burn excess weight (if you have it) by morning jogging, exercise every day in the gym or at least at home. All girls, without exception, like guys who are smart and have a straight posture. Change your wardrobe, contact a stylist, or – to upgrade your complex.
- Success. Of course, it’s difficult to become successful in a few months: start earning a lot, make a career or build a business. It's practically impossible. But it is always noticeable from a man if he is promising. And those who study a lot - read, take courses, engage in creativity, have hobbies, and travel - have prospects. his dream job may not be available right now, but he knows what he wants and is moving towards his goal by leaps and bounds. It’s also a good idea to support your new interesting life with reports on social networks.
- Skills. A successful seducer combines many skills that help in a variety of areas. I write about all this on my blog and talk about it at trainings. Now all your time should be devoted to self-improvement. Competent and delivered speech, oratory skills and the ability to charm a girl - all this can be obtained in the near future.
Ideally, you should appear in front of the girl who offered to remain friends completely different than you were before. She will have the effect of novelty: you will be perceived as a completely different, attractive man, and not the one written off as a “friend”. She will think: “How come I didn’t notice how interesting he is before.”
Seduce
The final step is seduction. Ideally, the meeting should take place after several months of complete information vacuum. In any case, this will arouse her interest, but you will already be a different person - both outside and inside. It is advisable that by this moment you have already had several victories on the seduction front, so as not to mess up. Since all this needs to be done in parallel with the development of many other things, I advise you to come to our training, where you will receive all of the above much faster than on your own. The seduction of the self is too big a topic for several paragraphs. So read the blog, or better yet, come visit us. After the training, you will be able to seduce a girl who just offered to communicate.
The girl offers to remain friends after the relationship
As I already said, there is another option: you already had a relationship, but one day the girl offered to just communicate. There are nuances here. This can be either a short-term relationship or a long-term marriage. In any case, if you have had sex more than once or twice, she has already made a choice in your favor once. Now she does not consider you as a man, but she has not yet forgotten this feeling.
Just like in the first option, you you need to understand exactly and soberly what you want. Perhaps remaining friends in this case is really the only right way out. Loved ones break up with any scandal, and then spend their whole lives acting as if they didn’t know each other, or they maintain a good relationship. If you yourself understand that there are no old feelings, it’s better to be a man and use the breakup as a chance to start a new, more successful life. Moreover, it is in this version that something like friendship is possible. You are not strangers. Just don't let yourself be used.
But if you love her, there is no need to retreat. This is the return of your beloved girl - something that we can really help you with. Again, a pause will be helpful. During this time, you can get acquainted with our community, read real stories and gain wisdom. If you are afraid that she might find someone else, choose my individual help. I will personally take care of your case and will definitely help, like hundreds of other men. Getting the relationship back is a truly solvable problem. If you know what you want, don't hesitate.
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Many times guys have asked me what to do if a girl tells you that you are just a friend for her? You want love and affection, and she gives you the phrase “You and I are just friends” and that’s it.
The girl tells you not to think about any close relationships, you are nothing more to her than just a good friend. And you, as a guy, cannot understand why a girl treats you this way.
And I’ll explain this to you now.
In 90% of cases, you are the only one to blame. Let's consider the two most common development situations.
Option one - You like the girl, you look after her.
This is the most common option. The girl, in turn, reciprocates. Then, when the guy tells her that he loves her, she makes her eyes big and round and replies, “Sergey, what are you talking about, we’re just friends.” And it's the guy's fault. Why? Now I will explain in detail.
In any case, if this is the situation, it’s worth a try.
BatMouse on June 9th, 2010
That's how I started dating my friend. Before this, I knew her for 3 years, then something woke up, I proposed to her, and she didn’t mind) We’ve been together for 1.5 years already, I adore her)
Maria on December 5th, 2010
“The ideal option is to show all this during the first three meetings. If you wait longer, you risk labeling yourself as “just a friend.”
oooh guys, how wrong you are, most girls won’t be very pleased if at the first meeting a guy insists on sex
everything should be done in moderation, there is no need to slow down, but there is also no need to rush too much
otherwise you risk getting slapped)
Kirill on January 25th, 2011
please help me what should I do if a girl doesn’t want to go out with me and I want a problem, I’m 19 and she’s 19.2 she’s 2 months older than me, help me what to do in this situation
Vlad on February 3rd, 2011
Diman, please give me the site, the same situation!))))))))
I won’t say that I was stupid at the beginning, but…..I just didn’t want anything then, I thought we’d just hang out and that’s it, and then…BANG and that’s it, and then she tells me “you’re just a good friend to me, you’ve crossed the line of a guy” =((((
Sergey on February 20th, 2011
Please tell me what to do if I talked about my feelings for her and she’s just friends and that’s all...
Zhenya on April 8th, 2011
All this is strange. My opinion is that if you fall in love, then go to the end. Achieve, knight, whatever, because you see - she was created for you, and you for her. If anyone beats him back, he'll be screwed. Let him not pretend.
Alexander on April 11th, 2011
Hi all!!! Same situation. I’ve been in love with a girl since 2nd year, she’s my classmate, we’re good friends, but she doesn’t see me as a guy, just a classmate and that’s it, I’ve already involved her other best friend in this situation so that she can talk to me about me her, she tells her that for her I’m just a classmate and a good friend, nothing more, I gave her flowers, wrote love poems, but she doesn’t react to it at all!!! We are now finishing the 3rd year. I can’t be with other girls because of her, because I constantly think about her, and I can’t be with others for a long time because I love her!!! And now she likes another guy, How can I get her??? What to do in this situation? How to get out of the Friend zone and into the GUY zone??? Waiting for comments!!!
Rostislav on July 2nd, 2011
Damn, this article is spot on. The girl does not reciprocate. I'm already sick of it. What I didn’t do. I'll try as you said.
Vano on July 3rd, 2011
If a girl says no, ignore her. She is not worthy of your attention. She is not the last in this world, there are a lot of other girls who will reciprocate your feelings.
Artemochka on July 5th, 2011
Vano said it straight to the point, it’s hard to do that if you really fell in love
Rodion on August 8th, 2011
I support Vano! I don’t know about you, for me the main thing is feelings, love... but I throw it aside.
Damn, although I have the same situation right now AAA!
the girl goes for a walk with me, everything is fine, I see the sparkle in her eyes... but she says “this is a friendly date” ahah)) I don’t know what will happen next, but she is what I need, and I will insist on my point!
Good luck to everyone who is on the verge of despair... remember, the main thing is to believe in yourself and in her!
Christina on September 8th, 2011
Dmitry, I would kill you for this thing, remember everything is different! Some girl probably left you, or cheated on you, that’s why you think that everyone is like that, YOU ARE DEEPLY MISTAKEN!!!
Evgeniy on December 1st, 2011
I seem to have the same situation that is indicated in the article, there were 3 meetings, but I behaved towards her as with a friend, and for some time she told me no. What should I do? Who can tell me?
Max on January 8th, 2012
I also have a similar problem, I’ve known a girl for 3 years before, I didn’t know that I liked her, I only recently realized I don’t know what to do, I hinted to her, she says that we are just friends, I can’t do anything, I walk with her every day as a friend to me It’s a shame when she sometimes hints to me that we are friends and no more, I would like to date her, what should I do?
Kirya on January 24th, 2012
P.S. children are not from me))
Shcherbakova N on March 14th, 2012
I had this situation. I thought that he was just a friend to me, but it turned out... Now we don’t see each other, but I really want to see him at least for a couple of seconds. Mentally, body and soul, I am with him, but nothing can be returned.
Alfred on April 16th, 2012
You just need to show her that you can live well without her) don’t call, don’t write... but sometimes, of course, when you fall in love it doesn’t work out... you’re the first to call and write :)) but this is almost a 100% option... then she’ll start wooing you herself)) )
Seryoga on June 27th, 2012
Zhenek, they walked her in all 4 directions. Resign yourself and look for another!
Artyom_Sh on September 22nd, 2012
I won’t put one size fits all, but still.
There is a good saying: We don’t appreciate those who have, but we cry when we lose. Some girls are frankly stupid, guys approach them with good deeds, actions, and then they say “we’re just friends.” The latter, in the end, if they are strong, forget about them and get to know others, they don’t slow down .Well, those who said “we’re just friends” begin to gnaw at their elbows and then write in search engines “why am I such a fool”:) in short, guys, I agree with Vano, he said it bluntly: a girl doesn’t want a relationship - it’s a nose bleed, but forget her, talk to other girls. Tested, it works :)
Sergey on September 25th, 2012
Guys, thank you all for your comments! I, like everyone else, have the same issue. You give gifts, he accepts them! I'm shocked by my actions! I introduced her to my parents. Her mother asked me to take them to the airport. She asked me to wait for her father to greet him. I decided that everything was fine, and she answered me: “We need to communicate less often and keep our distance.” Might actually ignore her for a couple of months and see what happens.
Boule on June 2nd, 2016
You need to say this not with words, but with actions. Girls understand actions well. Most likely, your actions did not show her the seriousness of your intentions. Hence, she automatically put you in the friend category. Plus, with your call you showed her that she is very important to you. And he automatically put her above himself. Now she rules your relationship, not you. She is more important. What to do here - Idk. I would say something like, “No, that's fine.” and would start messing with others further. Periodically asking her for advice on where it’s better to take that other one and tell her how great you had with that other one. The main thing here is not to overdo it. It should be natural. She will have a strong theme: “Fuck, how is this possible? He’s basically a good guy, but I blew him off, stupid.” And jealousy will appear, which will make her pursue you. And here you are already in a winning position and more important than it. If there is no jealousy and similar things, then she doesn’t really need you. Accept it and look for another. There is nothing worse than a girl who doesn't love you, and you constantly force her to love you. When she is with you only out of pity, it’s cruel and the end of everything.
Alexey on June 2nd, 2016
Recommend something else
Nikita on August 30th, 2016
Please help!! My best friend has a sister, I really like her, I can’t live without her. A year and a half ago, I wrote to her that I loved her very much and she replied that she was not against a relationship, but she needed to think. Then I wrote every day in the morning, noon and night. Somehow later we began to communicate less and the love passed. I thought about her every damn day , I was in a lot of pain, but then it became easier. Recently, she and her brother were at my house for 2 days. When we went outside for a walk, she asked, “Nekit, are you my best friend?” (and she smiled so much...) and I answered that why am I friends with a girl? (by the way, this is not the first time she has asked this) After answering, she somehow fell silent. When they left, I realized that I had fallen in love again. Today I went to this site and thought that when she asks this again, I will definitely say that I am attracted to you not as a friend but as a girl and I want to see her reaction but I don’t know what to do next (.Advise something else please!!!
Seeing a sad guy, it is often not difficult to guess the reason for his upset - the girl he loved said let’s remain friends. Men of any age, who have little experience communicating with the opposite sex, who have not yet learned to understand women, often react to this phrase with total depression: they go on a binge, cry into their pillows, complain to friends and relatives, try to get their beloved back, etc. The phrase “let’s remain friends” is perceived as nothing less than a catastrophe on a universal scale. Although, if you think about it, nothing terrible actually happened AT ALL. Below I will talk about how to easily and simply survive the DOD (let's remain friends) and start living a full, cheerful life a couple of hours or, at most, days, after this phrase.
The girl said let's remain friends. What to do
If the girl said let's remain friends, you don't need to panic. This is a familiar phenomenon in pickup trucks. Conventionally, it is called “The Girl Announced DOD.” Believe me, this will happen more than once in your life, but after reading this article, you will be ready for it.
If a girl told you “let’s remain friends”, this means that she is no longer attracted to you as a sexual partner or she did not consider you as such at all. It is important to understand this information in this way and accept it courageously. It is clear that this is painful and unpleasant, but the bitter truth is always better than a sweet lie - remember this.
The second thing you need to accept is that you won’t be able to get her back. Not because it’s unrealistic, it’s just that if she left you once, she’ll leave you again or will manipulate you all your life, and this is humiliating and wrong.
Third, your brain is now inadequate. He is feverishly looking for reasons why his beloved left you, and options for how to get her back. If you don’t find a reason, don’t try in vain. She may tell you that she doesn’t feel a spark between you and you will try to ignite this spark, when in reality she has just been sleeping for a week with another man who she likes much more.
Why can't you get your ex back?
The option of returning her should not be considered at all. Firstly, it is humiliating and unworthy of a normal man. Secondly, now it will cost you a lot of time, resources and nerves, and all for what? So that she snorts and turns her nose? Usually guys try to get a girl back - they spend a lot of money, don't sleep at night - but they still can't get her back. Simply because she fell in love with another man. Then the guy, after some time, usually calms down and realizes that getting her back is unrealistic and begins to live his own life. So isn’t it easier to skip all this suffering and waste of resources and immediately start living normally, burning off energy in another, more useful way, for example, through sports. It is a mistake to think that your situation is unique and that the woman is the only one. Believe me, every man is convinced of this after breaking up with a girl if he has little experience communicating with women.
Practice shows that some guys, spending a lot of resources, get their exes back after other men. Or they themselves then return, because their lover abandoned them or something didn’t work out. Some ask for forgiveness in tears, others, on the contrary, return as if they are doing you a favor (especially if the guy did not stop trying to get her back). But all the same, such couples then break up and do not last long, since the guy realizes (if not immediately, then over time) that he was betrayed, traded, and returned purely because he is a spare and convenient option. This is humiliating for a man. It is better to endure pain once than to feel humiliated all your life and allow yourself to be pushed around.
What exactly to do if a girl declares DOD
If a girl told you, let's remain friends, you should do only two things: urgently, go straight to sports, and start meeting other women. This is enough to overcome your attachment to your ex, at least the first symptoms of it, in just a couple of hours. Stay at home and load up, go to the bar, cry to friends, etc. strictly prohibited! This will only make your already bad mood worse.
If you have been declared a DOD, urgently go and meet 3-5 other girls. It is optimal to make 10 approaches to strangers. It’s better not to concentrate on one right now - after the breakup, she will seem worse than her ex. Try to meet many people at once. The first 2-3 approaches may be difficult for you - approach with strength. A break with the woman you love is a situation that gives a lot of energy. Use it correctly - step over your fear and reluctance to meet others, and seduce other women.
The second is sports. Work out in the gym for at least 2 hours every day. You can go to football or do long distance running. But it’s even better to take up boxing or wrestling - there you’ll quickly knock all the crap out of yourself.
If you start actively meeting girls, doing at least 5-10 approaches a day, you will forget your ex - if not in a couple of hours, then in a week for sure. Not in the sense that you will no longer remember who she is and what you had with her, but your feelings for her will cool down and you will begin to treat her as an ordinary girl. Many guys don’t want this, because they are overwhelmed by the heady feeling of love and are warmed by the hope of returning their beloved. But remember that one feeling is always replaced by another, so intoxicating love is guaranteed to you in any case, only with another, better girl.
- No alcohol. Drinking, even in moderation, only increases suffering and provokes you to act inappropriately. Soothe the internal discomfort from breaking up with sports and sex with other women;
- Other girls. Don’t immediately look for your next lifelong friend after breaking up with your loved one. Now your task is to drown out your feelings with sex. Just fuck for your own pleasure with many women - with all those who fall for you and you more or less like. Enjoy your freedom - no serious relationships;
- No suffering. The ex is not the best and not the only one. An ordinary girl, in some ways worse than many others. Remember how you treated her before you met. What has changed since then? Did she give it to you and was gentle, did she say words of love? And the other one may well do this. Moreover, she may have a sexier figure and cook better. A new partner is always better than the previous one - this is an axiom. Otherwise, after a breakup, people would never build relationships with anyone again.
Don’t worry, you will also have a beautiful woman, happy love, a family life, and stability. You just need to make an effort and all this can happen in a couple of days. Or years - if you continue to kiss your ex. There are actually very, very many good girls. In your city, on your street, dozens of them walk every day. Start meeting other girls, do it a lot and often, and you will see that there are many pretty young ladies around, much better than your ex, who will appreciate you much more than she does.
pickup-science.ru
Let's remain friends: instructions on what to do | Men's blog
My name is Vladimir Shamshurin and you won’t believe it, but I understand you more than perfectly; in my distant youth I myself encountered such a situation a couple of times. And it hurt me very much, because I was in love, and it was completely incomprehensible why she did this to me.
Two words of digression - I once courted a girl, even before I started in a pickup truck, I really liked her. I looked after her as best I could - I did everything she wanted, I was gentle and sweet with her, I was afraid of ruining everything. I even covered her apartment doors with flowers and notes, I really got into trouble.
And this girl said let’s remain friends at some “wonderful” moment in my life. I remember how the sun just went out for me that day. At the same time, what was even more offensive for me was that, at the same time as me, she was dating some guy who clearly didn’t treat her as well as I did. On the contrary, he was rude to her and neglected her. Here's the story)))). Now I look at it all with a smile. By the way, if you want to find out why it works this way, then read articles on how women choose men and what kind of guys girls like. I also have several excellent training videos on this topic on my YouTube channel, which you can watch right now by clicking here. In these videos I cover this topic in more detail. I don’t really like to write on a blog, I’m still a lazy person, it’s easier for me to talk on camera ;). So, it’s better to watch me rather than read me.
And in your life, there are probably examples of how the girl you are in love with, or who you really like, does not let you get close, but communicates with a completely unworthy (in your opinion) guy and is not at all friendly.
The problem is that girls do not always offer only friendship, and I understand why they do this - because you do not take the relationship into a closer direction, you delay with kisses and sex (of course, without wanting it). Sometimes even the guys themselves initially say, “let’s be friends,” and then they themselves suffer.
And this often happens - you have a girlfriend, maybe even, but you like someone else and you yourself invited her to be friends, and despite the fact that at every opportunity you hint to her about intimacy - your hints by themselves will not solve anything, because they are not backed up by action.
In general, I believe that so-called “friendship” is such a polite form of refusal, that is, they don’t tell you “I don’t want to communicate with you anymore, I’m not interested in you as a man,” they simply offer you something like becoming friends. And you naively believe (okay, not you, this is just an example) that a little time will pass and the girl will finally see that very prince in you, understand and accept you into her arms.
Of course, there are chances to fix everything, but they are not great. Read to the end and you will find out. And you know how it happens - you’re friends with a girl, she calls you one fine day, or rather at night, at about three o’clock and says, “Can you help me? I lost my wallet here and I can’t leave the club, will you pick me up?”
And you rush in the middle of the night to the other end of the city, thinking that you’ll now earn another plus in your piggy bank to let it down. But in fact, she was visiting another guy and had sex, she just decided to leave in the middle of the night, and he didn’t even give her a taxi, and he didn’t want to spend his money.
The truth is that the girl says let's remain friends, it's only you and no one else to blame!!! After reading this article, you will understand why this is so and agree with me, and most importantly, you will start doing something to change the situation, and you will never step on this rake again.
Here's an example of what happens if you don't touch, don't excite a girl and don't have sex with her on time.
Another mini-story. But this one is more cruel. I fell in love with a girl, also in Samara. And she's into me. What hooked her - now I can say for sure - when I met her, I behaved as if I didn’t care at all about the result of our acquaintance, I was rude. I don’t know why, maybe I wasn’t in the mood, but I was rude to her (although I usually behaved like a sweetheart with girls))))).
She was very interested and interested in this. We started dating, we met 5 times, and one evening she said to me, “Come to my place, I’ll give you some delicious tea.” I agreed. We came to her. I must say that before this we had not even kissed or hugged. She fed me a delicious dinner, went to the bathroom and, after that, walked around the house in a beautiful translucent robe.
We then went into the room, I sat down on the sofa, she sat down next to me, as if leaning on me. But the whole joke is that I sat there doing nothing, although she was slightly rubbing herself against me. I just didn’t know what to do, or I pissed, I don’t remember now.
In general, after about half an hour, she seemed to have lost all hopes that there would be sex and told me, “Well, that’s it, you should probably go, because there’s already a lot of time.” And I left, in the hope that tomorrow I would see her again. Now I understand that she was really disappointed, because in the beginning I showed myself as an alpha male, and later I couldn’t even take her! What happened after that?
There was no such thing here that the girl offered friendship, she simply began to blend in, she began to pick up the phone less and less when I called her, she began to excuse herself from meeting... Although until the moment when she invited me to visit, everything was different - she told me I was constantly texting and calling. As a result, she completely disappeared. This story very clearly shows the essence of the problem.
And the most seemingly stupid thing is that when you try to touch a girl on a date, she starts saying, “Don’t. No need to ruin everything. We don't know each other well yet. I don't want. I'm not ready for this yet. Let's just sit."
But the whole paradox is that if you stop touching her, then after that she sends you, as we say, to D.O.D. - Let's Stay Friends. Where is the logic?
And the logic is this: the girl says let’s remain friends if you don’t touch her and listen to what she tells you. This is a kind of unconscious test of whether you are a strong male or a weak one. That is, do you do what you want, or what the woman tells you. More about this in the article, what kind of men do girls like.
And also these “don’t touch me” are an attempt not to seem like an accessible woman and to relieve yourself of responsibility. It is very important for a girl not to seem easily accessible; it is important for her not to give (no matter sex or a phone number), but to be taken from her.
That’s why girls react so coldly to your attempt to get acquainted if there are witnesses nearby, but if you take her aside, the reaction will be much warmer. I talk about this in detail at my pickup trainings for men in Moscow.
Look at how a cat and a cat mate - the cat is on top, the cat is screaming and sort of struggling, and the cat is holding the back of her neck with his teeth. It would seem that the cat is not pleased and wants to run away. But, if you now take this cat away from the cat and lock it in the room with a key, then she will run in circles around the room and shout meow meow - “Let me go to the cat.” It's the same for women! Read about this in the article, what kind of men do women like.
Let's remain friends, what should we do? Above, we figured out why this happens, and now let’s talk about what can be done. Ras you found yourself in such a situation. The situation needs to be corrected, and not slowly.
Let's clarify once again - you can hear words about friendship from a girl when time passes and you don't have sex with her, don't take her. That is, your communication does not go into another, bodily direction. Moreover, the more dates you have without sex, the greater the chances each time that you will not have sex with this girl at all!
These chances of not getting anything grow exponentially. In general, understand, if you don’t have sex with a girl after the third date, then you most likely lost, and even if you still have sex later, then it’s not you, but the girl who will be the main one in the relationship, and this is, to put it mildly, bad.
The longer you've been friends, the less likely you are to leave your friends. Men come to my trainings, and some of them tell me, “You know, I’ve been friends with one girl for five years, how can I fuck her.” Of course, I am shocked by these words. I’ve been friends with my friend Alexander for about five years, but I’m thinking about how I can fuck him!)))). But we will talk about how to get out of a long friendship in other articles, but now...
Let's fix the situation. The most important and difficult thing for you will be that you will have to take yourself by the balls and, stepping over her words like “”, start touching her after all! But without asking permission, but simply silently, without unnecessary words. Read about this in the article on how to quickly excite a girl.
Trust me, she will fight back very hard and try to put you in your place. Yes, there is a certain risk here - Either she will become your girlfriend, or you will lose her completely. But understand that you have already lost her if the girl offered to be friends.
What you need to do is call her and insist on meeting. Moreover, this is not a movie or a bowling alley, not a walk in the park, but a cafe with sofas so that you can sit next to you (this is extremely necessary). This cafe should be intimate, not loud music, dim lights...
And there you begin to tell her that you really like her as a woman and that you are not going to be friends with her. But at the same time, your words should not just be empty, they should be supported by actions.
You just take her, turn her towards you and kiss her on the lips. I tell you again - there is nothing to lose! If it breaks off, then you’ll forget about it and that’s it. But friendship is nonsense, you will dream about her, and she will date someone else, and you will see it. Is this really better?
On my YouTube channel and here in the “Video” section you can find videos about how to touch a girl on a date.
And no matter how your hands shake from excitement and fear of losing her, you still start touching her. Grab yourself by the balls, you're a man!
The best solution - If a girl offered friendship and said let's remain friends, then my personal opinion is that the situation is completely lost. Of course, try, but I don’t want to get your hopes up too much. Most likely, seventy percent that you have already lost this match, even probably eighty, so you need to think about how to forget her.
But, there is an excellent solution on how to make sure that no girl ever says that to you again. Never. These are trainings on seduction and effective communication with women from the ALL YOURS project. This is not an advertisement, you can go to one of my colleagues, that’s not the point.
The point is that you have a real chance to change your life for the better. Once and for all, fill it with the most beautiful and cool women and, in the end, find your soulmate who will love you.
During the training, we will pump you up and remove all your fears and prejudices. Eighty percent of it consists of practice, that is, we will not just tell you what to do, you will do it, and not just listen.
Because communication with women can only be learned through practice. You've probably already seen my videos with live dating girls, so here you go - you can do the same! So don’t delay, life goes by very quickly.....
In this article you learned what to do if a girl said let's remain friends. It's up to you to draw conclusions, man.
muzhskoy-blog.ru
What to do if a girl says: - Let's remain friends?
Everyone has probably heard this phrase at some point and knows firsthand how painfully it hits one’s pride. What to do in such a situation? How to change the course of events in the right direction?
So. Let's go back a little.
You met the girl you liked. Made an appointment. We started dating. Go to cafes, cinemas, go to clubs and concerts. Naturally, all this is at your expense. This goes on for some time. Platonic friendly communication gradually gets boring for you and you want more.
But at the very first attempts to transfer the relationship to a horizontal plane, the girl, modestly lowering her eyes, says: - Let's remain friends?
It seems that the earth is floating away from under your feet and your life has been lived in vain. But don't despair. All this is not so scary if you know what to do in such cases.
So what should you do? How to behave?
The main thing, of course, is not to do anything stupid and, having stepped on the throat of your hormones and offended pride, soberly assessing the situation, make the most important choice - to continue banging your head against the wall or to spend your time with much greater benefit, because there are so many pretty girls around.
Spit, grind and forget in such a situation would be the most correct thing. But it happens that you really like a girl and don’t want to leave. Or you just want to get satisfaction for wasted nerves, time and money.
Then good news for you - there is a solution to such a seemingly difficult situation.
The action plan in this case should be like this. We disappear from her sight for a certain time, 2-3 weeks. This will help you come to your senses a little and start the relationship as if from scratch. Unless, of course, you don’t want to continue your relationship with her during this time. No SMS, calls, random meetings. While taking a pause, you should try to actively communicate with the female sex as much as possible. An experienced male is always more attractive in the eyes of women, and it won’t hurt to raise his self-esteem.
And so, time passes, and you appear in front of her again. But no longer in the role of a suitor, looking ingratiatingly into his eyes, in the role of a kind of macho man who knows how to seduce anyone, who knows his worth and whom she simply cannot get. This is what it should look like.
You can go somewhere again, but try not to pay for it anymore. You are friends. She herself suggested: - Let's remain friends! Friends are not forbidden to visit each other. So try to visit her. Let her feed you there with something she prepared with her own hands.
Share your secrets with her in a friendly manner - talk about your adventures, how you were in bed and with whom. Invite her to support you on your next date. Ask her about other girls. Try to go with her more often to places where you can meet her friends, go together in groups, to parties. Flirt with all her friends. A woman's natural sense of possessiveness will not allow her to throw away such cool guys and soon she will drag you into bed herself.
beauty-and-success.ru
How to get your girlfriend back after saying “Let’s remain friends”?
The phrase from your beloved girl becomes completely unpleasant: “Let’s remain friends.” This can happen either after a long relationship with her or even before it begins. At any moment, the girl can decide to break up, which will be a bolt from the blue for the guy. How to return your beloved girl who no longer wants to be with you?
This question remains relevant, since separations are common these days. You meet a girl, you love her, you cherish her, and she suddenly says that she wants to remain friends. It happens that a girl accepts advances for a long time, even allows him to approach her, and then says that she is breaking up.
Looking back at past relationships, it is difficult to find the reasons why a girl says the phrase: “Let's remain friends.” It’s stupid for a girl to say such a phrase to a guy who is clearly not in the mood for a friendly relationship with her. It’s even stupider for the guy to immediately succumb to emotions and pretend that he can easily live without a girl.
If you want to return the girl, despite the hurtful words, then we will consider this topic in more detail on the website masculino.ru.
What not to do if a girl says: “Let’s remain friends”?
After the relationship breaks up and the girl says: “Let’s remain friends,” internal anger and indignation arises. How can you remain friends after what happened between you? If you haven’t cooled off your feelings in the same way as your ex-lover, then you are probably wondering what needs to be done to get her back. Now we will discuss the topic of what not to do when a girl leaves you. After all, the most important mistake can be made not in returning, but in reacting to the breakup.
The most common behaviors of guys are:
- Completely ignored. The guy pretends that he is also satisfied with the breakup.
- Chasing a girl, gifts and compliments. If a girl pushes a guy away, then the guy’s behavior when he’s intensely courting her will be too much.
These are two extremes that will not lead to good. Let's take a closer look at all the mistakes that should be avoided after breaking up with a girl:
- Give gifts, compliments, apologize. This is called humiliation when a girl blows a guy off, and he continues to look after her like a faithful little dog. The girl will be annoyed by the behavior of a guy who does not respect himself and is ready to crawl on his knees in front of her, if only she would return to him.
- Constantly calling and texting her. Exes cannot be in constant contact if they are not in an ongoing relationship. The girl left you and left. It's time to stop calling her and writing messages, especially of a love nature. This is another way of humiliation that will only alienate the girl from you.
- Cry in front of her. This can happen both in the literal sense of the word and in the indirect sense. If a guy shows himself as unhappy and needy, it only infuriates him. The situation is even more annoying when the guy starts threatening: “If you don’t come back to me, I’ll kill myself.” The girl can either laugh in his face, or feel sorry for the guy and return to him, but not for long and not seriously. In any case, the relationship will fall apart even faster, and the girl will finally be impossible to return after this.
- Confess your love. The girl who left the guy does not need his declarations of love in any form. This will irritate her even more and distance her from the guy. She can maintain contacts, but not give in to words of love.
Considering the mistakes of guys, we can note another most common one, which modern young ladies in their right mind and judgment will not fall for. Let's talk about it further.
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How to get your girlfriend back: don't say that everything will change
Psychologists say that it is necessary to reconsider your behavior if you want to return your beloved girl who left her boyfriend. However, it would be a mistake when a guy, having just heard about his bad behavior, without thinking about it, starts throwing promises: “Excuse me. This won't happen again. I promise you." Don't say everything will change. Why?
If you promise emotionally, without serious intentions to change anything in the relationship, you will get together with your beloved for a short time, but she will quickly leave you as soon as she notices that you deceived her. If you promised, you should definitely change it! If you don't change anything, then the girl will leave you and next time she won't listen at all.
You can promise again that you will do anything to change your bad behavior. But now the girl will not believe your words, and she will do the right thing: you promise without having conscious and serious intentions and desires to do so. Your goal is to win back the girl, to win, and not to really improve your relationship.
No matter how much you promise, the girl will not believe you, because she already has real experience of not keeping her word. It's the same as if a girl promised you to lose weight if you married her. What is the connection between marriage and losing weight is illogical and unclear. Just as you wouldn’t believe that a girl will really lose weight after marriage, she won’t believe you that your relationship will improve if she returns to you.
Young people, more mature men and women are also not far behind them, are known for the fleeting nature of love. Today they love, but tomorrow they no longer feel this feeling. But it happens that partners dated for a long time, and then broke up for some reason. After this, one of them decides to return their ex-lover or sweetheart, but does not know how to do it.
How to get your love back? First, you should understand that if you were loved before, but then fell out of love, it means that some circumstances contributed to this. There is love in your partner, but it constantly goes out for some reason. This means that you just need to make sure that love for you flares up again.
Secondly, you should understand the reasons that extinguish your partner’s love. These were the reasons for your separation. For what reasons did you break up? What made your partner leave you? Identify and start eliminating them.
Don't make one of the mistakes people make when trying to get back into a relationship: they run after their loved ones, but don't work on what caused them to break up. But former partners watch to see whether people change. And if they don’t change, then they don’t see the point in restarting the relationship.
Your task is not just to return your loved one, but also to show him that you have become different: what was previously a problem is no longer there, you have changed. You need to work through all those problem areas that you constantly quarreled with your loved one about, and change them. Your ex-partner must see that by renewing her relationship with you, she will not again encounter what previously irritated you or led to conflicts. Therefore, change yourself and, as if by chance, show your new qualities to your former partner. You should not talk about them, but demonstrate them in appropriate situations. And when your ex sees your changes, she herself will want to return to you.
Renew feelings in your loved ones by eliminating your mistakes and the causes of your quarrels. Make your ex-lovers want to return to you themselves, and not because you were persistent. In the first case, they will stay with you for a long time because they themselves have expressed a desire to be close. And in the second case, happiness will not last long - until your first quarrel.
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You should consider tips on how to get your girlfriend back in order to be able to renew your relationship with her:
- Agree with her proposal. She says: "Let's remain friends." And you agree! This will be a shock to her, whereas she expected you to disagree and start running after her. In such a situation, when you break up, she will be interested in what you are doing, who is next to you now, what distracts you from thinking about the fact that she broke up with you.
- Don't call her first, wait for her to call you. And in most cases, the girl who left the guy herself soon dials him on the phone to find out about his affairs. Here you can already control the situation. For example, you can say “I’m busy, let’s call you later.” There is no need to talk about past relationships or feelings. Chat on neutral topics, such as: how are you, what are you doing, what’s new, etc.
Try not to tell her everything, it’s better not to finish. Let her understand that she is not getting answers to her questions. At the same time, don’t communicate with her for too long. As soon as pauses in the conversation begin, you should end the conversation. It is better to do this on your own initiative.
- Start dating another beauty. She must be really beautiful or at least interesting to you. It's even better if your ex finds out that you've started a new relationship. Not only did she initiate the breakup, because of which she lost a smart and interesting guy, but he also doesn’t cry for her, but is passionate about something and even found himself another girl.
Often girls break up to be chased. Calm your ex's ardor by giving her what she herself was trying to achieve - loneliness away from you.
- Go to a party where she and your mutual friends will be. It's good if the girl is forced to see you in reality. It’s good if by this time you change yourself in the sense where she was dissatisfied with you. At the same time, do not try to run up to her and immediately tell her that you have changed. She herself must see that you have become different - the way she wanted you to be.
Chat with everyone at the party. Give your ex-girlfriend the same amount of attention as you give your other friends. Communicate with her friends, and with your friends, and with her. At the same time, behave like an acquaintance who does not think about her at all and does not miss her.
You can add some “pepper” by bringing your new passion to the party. Look after her and be such a gentleman that your ex-girlfriend will simply be stunned and jealous. She needs to see what she's lost, especially when some other girl gets "all the good stuff."
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Bottom line
Girls are emotional creatures. Today they want to remain friends with the guys, and tomorrow they already regret their decision. This effect is achieved when guys don’t run after those who abandoned them, but also continue to live, meet new girls and even become better people. The result of all events is jealousy and the desire to return the former relationship to the one who destroyed it.
How to tell a girl that I like her on VKontakte
