Death seems something distant and abstract until it comes to your home. The terrible diagnosis given to my mother came like a bolt from the blue. I had to go through this difficult time together with my four-month-old son.
A newborn baby, all loved ones nearby, love and harmony - except for my son’s food allergies, everything looked like a perfect picture from a magazine. In addition, my mother, who had been battling cancer for several years, was in remission for three years now. “And I said that everything would work out, you’ll hang out at Ilyushka’s wedding,” I joked.
The optimistic mother was cheerful and active, happily fussing with her grandson, picking cucumbers and baking pies until she often began to have headaches. Migraine after migraine, longer and stronger, dizziness and weakness... And a month later, an MRI revealed a terrible diagnosis. Brain, metastases... Dad was saying something into the phone, I didn’t listen and just repeated: “But there’s hope? Chemistry, operations, cyberknife—is there any chance left?”
My three-month-old baby was completely abandoned at this time. In the evenings he would calm down in his dad’s arms, and during the day he would often and sadly cry in unison with me. I mechanically looked after him, changing diapers and pushing my breasts, but I couldn’t get rid of the heavy thought: “Everything could have turned out differently if he hadn’t been born.” It’s scary to think, but mentally I shifted part of the blame for my mother’s illness onto the baby!
In the meantime, my mother was denied radiation: she couldn’t stand it. And they sent me home to “stabilize my condition.” Trusting her oncologist, she did not lose hope, and only my father knew from the doctor the terrible truth: the patient was sent to die within her own walls, surrounded by her family.
I understood that during this time my mother needed maximum care and support. Together with the baby, I spent almost all the time in her house, preparing goodies, carrying flowers and dressing up my son.
Alas, the oppressive atmosphere affected him and he cried just as often. This tired the patient, preventing her from sleeping, and made me angry. And one day, taking him in her arms for the last time, his mother said thoughtfully: “He has a clear and intelligent look. A good boy will grow up, kind. But don’t come with him again... there’s no need.”
Since then, I have tried to manage my time wisely, coming to my mother when my husband stayed with the child and cooking at home during his sleeping hours.
Sitting in an empty apartment with a child, knowing that there, a few houses away, time, like sand, flows through your fingers, is unbearable. But I finally learned to control my tears, and he became much calmer.
And I tried my best to distract myself, and this is what helped me:
- Cooking and cleaning. The house has never been as clean as during these dreary days. And the husband praised the intricate desserts, not understanding the true purpose: not to leave for a minute with your thoughts.
- Communication. I envy people who can cope with their grief themselves. It was easier for me to share it with the whole world. I was supported by friends, acquaintances and even pen pals from mom’s groups on social networks. A simple “Natasha, we’re crying with you, what a nightmare...” made me feel warmer, and I looked forward to my husband’s return from work like never before.
- Singing. Fashionable pop hits, classics, rock, children's songs - I listened and sang with a forced smile, which amused the baby a lot, and prevented me from crying.
- Activities with a child. At first, through force, I resumed gymnastics and... Then she was more willing to fuss with her son, kissing him and chattering endlessly. The baby was happy, and I finally realized that I was not alone, because next to me was the closest and most beloved creature.
- Job. Even a light freelance workload allows you to switch your thoughts for a while. Although the pace and quality of work may suffer.
Alas, not everything helped, and some things only made things worse:
- Suggestions to “pull yourself together” and “pull yourself together” they just made me angry. It was as if the right to my grief was taken away from me, it was devalued.
- Calls to “think about the child” also seemed inappropriate at least partially they were fair. Yes, I am a mother, but I am also a daughter, I am a person, and my problems are just as important.
- reproaches, that I am not sitting at the bedside of a dying woman with a baby. “Yes, milk can be caused by stress, but it’s better to switch to formula,” my friend advised, wondering why I didn’t forcefully rush to my mother. Great feeling of guilt
- Comedy series, films, programs. Human laughter, joy, fun - everything seemed wild and irritating.
- Prayers. I had never been particularly close to faith, and, leafing through the pages of the prayer book, I understood that this would not change anything. Senseless, cruel and inevitable.
The last days before my death, visiting my mother again, I was already collected, did not become limp, and cheerfully told her the news about my son. His photos made her noticeably happy, but she still did not dare to see the baby: with the refusal to eat, her strength was fading before her eyes.
Afterword
At the funeral - both in the church and in the cemetery - the baby was with me and my husband almost all the time, sometimes we handed him over to other relatives. Nothing terrible, contrary to popular superstitions, happened: the boy was not capricious, did not break out of his hands, calmly ate in the car and fell asleep.
Of course, for another six months it was hard for me to come to terms with the loss. When we lose our parents, we become even more mature, especially feeling responsible for the life of our child. For his sake and for yourself, you need to live on.
What helped me not to get discouraged:
- Keep only bright memories of the deceased, try to switch gears and distract yourself if your brain is reproducing scary pictures of the last few days.
- Try to be outside the home more often. I jotted down a list of interesting things for myself and my baby to do: feed the ducks in a distant park, walk through a toy store, go on a visit.
- Clean up properly and even make rearrangements and repairs. This is difficult in the home of the deceased, but over time you need to get rid of unnecessary things.
- Plan a vacation. When I felt sad, I
The symbols that are used as a motif for tattoos are extremely diverse. Often people ask tattoo artists to decorate their bodies with symbols associated with the afterlife. Is it worth doing this? What could be the meaning of a death tattoo and how to choose the right design? You will find the answers in this article.
Old woman with a scythe: the meaning of the symbol
There is no person who is not afraid of death. The instinct of self-preservation is considered one of the most powerful, and it disappears only with serious mental disorders. However, there are many people who dream of a tattoo that would symbolize death and the afterlife. What explains this?
Psychologists say that interest in issues of death is associated primarily with the fear of leaving this world. Investigating an object that causes horror means taking the first step towards getting rid of fear. Therefore, death tattoo designs are often chosen by those who are terribly afraid of death, no matter how paradoxical it may sound.
Tattoos with death are loved by representatives of certain subcultures, as well as people who consider themselves magicians and sorcerers.
There is also a more unconventional meaning of a tattoo with a death motif. People with philosophical views on life perceive physical death not as the cessation of their existence, but as a transition to a new stage of development. In this case, the tattoo is done as a symbol of rebirth, renewal and changes that have occurred in the inner world. Sometimes death tattoos are requested by people who have experienced a serious illness or disaster. To understand their motivation, it is enough to remember another popular symbol in the tattoo world: the phoenix bird. The Phoenix dies in order to be born again: it can be argued that it also personifies the deep meaning of dying and the transition to a new, higher stage of development.
This is interesting! In tarot cards, the major arcanum “Death” is interpreted not as a direct parting with life, but as a rebirth, a refusal past life in favor of new achievements. Moreover, we are talking not only about achieving wealth and status, but also about gaining wisdom.
Style: playing with the idea
You can find a wide variety of death tattoo designs. Quite a lot of sketches were created in the old school style. The skulls and bones that are depicted in the sketches look quite bright, so death made in a similar style looks almost optimistic.
Another popular style for death tattoos is trash polka. Skeletons, and the silhouette of a woman in a cloak holding long braid, very popular among fans of this unusual, bright style. In addition, the features of trash polka allow one to express the philosophical idea of death.
Engraving style tattoos can also be a great choice for a death tattoo. Such an image, stylized as a medieval engraving, may look a little gloomy, but if this is dictated by the plot of the tattoo, then the choice is completely justified.
You should not limit yourself to the listed styles. You can ask the tattoo artist to draw a design in any style that seems suitable to you.
Advice! If you are not sure that you want to get a death tattoo, it is better to wait a while before going to a tattoo parlor. They say that a symbol applied to the body can change a person's destiny. A tattoo with death may not be suitable for impressionable people.
Should you get a tattoo in a visible place or hide it from others?
This question worries many people who decide to get a death tattoo. After all, if a flower or a Celtic pattern may look like a regular decoration on your body, then a tattoo with death will inevitably attract attention and will set others in a certain mood. Here are the main factors to consider when choosing the location of your future tattoo:
- place of work. It is better for people who work in kindergartens or schools not to show death tattoos;
- execution technique. If you asked the artist to create a stylized sketch in which it is difficult to guess the “afterlife” motifs, then it is quite possible to get a tattoo on a noticeable place on your body. Clear hints, such as a gravestone with a raven sitting on it, are best placed in places that can be camouflaged, such as the back or calf.
Of course, the size of the work is also important. For example, if you want to do small tattoo linework style, it can be located anywhere. Some even get such tattoos on their fingers: many people have a photo of a death tattoo in a similar style. Such a tattoo practically does not attract attention and serves its owner as a kind of talisman. If the work is colorful and large, then its location needs to be considered, because death is a very ambiguous motive.
When is it better to give up a death tattoo?
It is important to remember that a death tattoo should be carefully considered. You shouldn't do it after your boyfriend has passed away. close person. Of course, under the influence of emotions, sometimes there is a desire to perpetuate your feelings on your own body. However, the tattoo will remain with you forever, which means that after many years it will remind you of the pain you experienced. It is worth waiting at least six months after the tragic event, when emotions return to relative normality. If you still want to get a tattoo, you can go to the salon.
Advice! If you think too often about your death or the death of your loved ones, you should not get a tattoo, but talk to a psychologist. This kind of obsession has a negative effect on the psyche. Getting a tattoo makes sense if you see something positive in death, for example, you perceive it as a way out new level development or the opportunity to meet your deceased relatives!
The motif of death in tattoos is very popular, but it should be treated with some caution. Therefore, the decision to get a death tattoo needs to be carefully considered. However, once the decision has been made, all that remains is to find good master and choose a sketch that in the best possible way will express your ideas!
In the photo on the left is a small balding boy named Nolan. Curled up on the bath mat and waiting for mom to get out of the shower. There is no one in the photo on the left... Nolan is no longer there. He died at 4 years old from cancer.
Two months later, his mother Ruth wrote a message to her son. You read it and it’s impossible to hold back your tears.
“Two months. Two months since I held you in my arms, listened to how you love me, kissed those pie lips. Two months since you were curled up next to me. Two months of absolute hell."
A year ago, Nolan began having breathing problems. The parents thought the child had a normal runny nose. And then the doctors announced the diagnosis - rhabdomyosarcoma. A type of cancer that affects the muscles and bones.
Photo by @nolanscully
Photo by @nolanscully
The baby suffered from severe pain, and last days For the life of him he couldn’t even eat or drink – he was constantly vomiting. A huge tumor grew inside his small body, squeezing his heart and bronchi. When doctors said that the cancer was incurable, Ruth decided to have an honest conversation with her son.
She put his head on her shoulder and asked:
Are you having trouble breathing, my boy?
Yes, mom.
Are you hurt, baby?
This cancer sucks. You don't have to fight him anymore.
No need?! But I will! For your sake, mom!
Are you fighting for your mom?
Nolan, what is your mom's job?
Protect me from danger.
Honey, I can't do this anymore. Now I can only protect you in heaven.
So, I will fly to heaven and play there until you come. You'll come, right?
Certainly! You can't get rid of your mom that easily.
Photo by @nolanscully
Nolan spent his last months in hospice care. Ruth came to the boy to take him home for the night. I wanted to spend one more evening with him.
“I was waiting for Nolan to wake up. Seeing me, he gently put his hand on mine and said: “Mommy, everything is fine. Let's stay here." My 4-year-old hero tried to make it easier for me.
For the next 36 hours, in between sleep, we played, watched videos on YouTube and had as much fun as we could.
Then we lay together and he said what kind of funeral he wanted, what people should wear. He told him not to forget to take his favorite teddy bear. Afterwards he wrote what he left for each of us, and also asked us to remember him as... a policeman.
Around 9pm I asked Nolan if he minded if I took a shower. He said, “Okay, Mom, Uncle Chris will babysit me.” “I’ll be there in two seconds,” I said. He smiled and I closed the bathroom door.
Then the doctors said: as soon as I left, he closed his eyes and fell asleep deeply. Life began to leave him.
When trying to interpret the dream option under discussion, you will first need to take into account whether the sleeping person actually has a son or daughter. This will help you more accurately determine why you dream of a dead child in your arms. If real parents see a dead child in their arms, then they probably chose the wrong parenting tactics.
What if you dream of a dead child in your arms?
A dreamer who has a child in reality and suddenly sees him dead in his arms should think about his role in his upbringing. There is a high probability that the person is trying to be too strict so as not to “dissolve” the heirs. But such tactics are not always correct. The dream clearly suggests that you should “loose your grip” on your children. Otherwise, the latter may soon distance themselves from their parents and nothing will be possible to regain their trust.
If on the eve of the dream the sleeping person had a conversation with the child in which he categorically forbade him to do something, then most likely he should change his own decision. Even a small son or daughter should have the right to make their own choices from time to time. This will allow the child to grow up to be a competent and thoughtful person. In this case, he will certainly become independent and will be able to solve his own problems alone.
If such a dream is seen by a person whose child is sick, this does not mean at all that his plot will be repeated in real life. Most likely, the sleeping person’s strong worries and worries about his child are simply expressed in this way. By the way, if during illness you dream of being dead, this means recovery.
If someone else's unfamiliar child is in his arms, and his death does not cause any negative emotions, then this is a clear sign that he suffers greatly from lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. It is for this reason that the dreamer cannot achieve his goals and constantly stagnate in the same place in life. To leave the vicious circle and finally move on, you will need to believe in yourself. For example, his close and beloved people can help the sleeping person with this.
If you dream about the death of a baby on the eve of some important event or transaction, then such a dream can be interpreted as a harbinger of failure. In reality, everything will definitely not go as planned by the dreamer. If there is such a possibility, then important meeting or even the signing of a major contract should be postponed to a later time. If this cannot be done, then you need to at least study the proposed conditions with maximum attention, ask your partners questions about the possible disadvantages of the planned transaction, etc.
What does it portend?
Very often, pregnant girls see dreams in which a dead child appears. In this case, under no circumstances should they be perceived as a negative sign. Most likely, the reason for the terrible night plot is that the fair sex is simply very worried about the unborn baby. The best solution for her would be to calm down and tune in to a positive outcome of the birth.
If someone else’s dead child in your arms is heavily stained with blood, then such a dream can be considered a harbinger of serious problems in the life of the sleeper. But he shouldn’t worry too much about this. Since the blood on the body of the dreaming baby suggests that close relatives will help the dreamer quickly and easily solve the troubles that have arisen. Therefore, immediately after problems arise, you should boldly turn to your family for help. There is no need to be ashamed of this and try to cope with everything on your own.
Seeing a dead (and even more so bloody) baby in a dream is always unpleasant for dreamers of any gender. But such a creepy plot does not mean at all that the dream is a harbinger of any terrible events in the life of the sleeper. Its interpretation may well turn out to be neutral.
The death tattoo is only for people with strong nerves, because there is a belief that what you apply will come true. Such a tattoo instills horror and fear in others, making its owner wary. Usually it is done by desperate and seasoned people who do not know fear, including the opinion of others. Nevertheless, when applying such a tattoo, a person treats it as a talisman.
Basic meanings of death tattoos
- The inevitability of death;
- Courage;
- Amulet;
- Sorrow;
- Threat to health, life;
- Connection with subcultures;
- Harmony
Bikers often get this tattoo. Many interpret it as the rebirth of human life. Death with a scythe in literature is interpreted as a sign of vandals. Brutal, fatal circles, Satanists also choose the “death” tattoo as their symbol.
Some people do not want to come to terms with the end of their lives and go on strike against the established foundations. In general, death is the end point of the existence of a living being. Therefore, there are many of its manifestations, reflected in painting, literature, and other works.
There were black reapers of souls in different nations. In Scandinavia it was Hel, in Egypt Anubis, in Rome Pluto, Hades, Hades, in Greece Thanatos, Fan, etc. But the most interesting thing is that the “death” tattoo also has the opposite meaning. Such people look at him as a talisman, a talisman against danger and troubles. They consider themselves lucky, who are accompanied by evil luck and risk. Some people generally believe that the owner of such a tattoo avoids death.
Although the depiction of death is an eerie sight, when captured skillfully, it is a compelling and mysterious sight. From the hands of a professional tattoo artist, a tattoo becomes a fantasy art. The drawing is applied in black and white, color paints. It is done on the shoulders, chest, back, stomach, etc.
Death in composition
Death with cards says that a person is playing with death. They are often made by atheists. Grim Reaper means stable risk. Prisoners interpret such a tattoo as the individual’s ability to kill. It is difficult to determine what meaning the owner of the tattoo attaches Grim Reaper. Some interpret it as a clear threat, others as grief of loss. Others show a lack of fear. Tattoo death with a naked girl(in the hands of a flower) or young men, a child means the harmony of existence: the opposition of life and death, day and night, yin and yang.
Christianity has clear concepts of death and life. In Scripture, the human race is compared to wheat and tares. Death is, as it were, a reaper who mows down the fruit.
In the 14th century During the plague, many people died and the expression that “death mows down” became established, so the image of death with a scythe became stable. But the most interesting thing is that in East Asia they began to draw death with a scythe. People believed that the braid separated physical body from the heart. No one knows whether such a tattoo protects or turns back.
