If the baby cries for no reason - Alevtina Lugovskaya. The child cries for nothing. The child cries for any reason.

Question:
My child is 7 years old. He cries for any reason, not a day goes by without finding a reason to cry. If he doesn’t do it the way he wants, he immediately starts whining and freaks out. He can’t tie his shoelaces, but he immediately whines. I didn’t immediately cut off the bun - whining right away , and reacts like this to literally everything.

Answer:

Hello. You realized it a bit late. Whining needs to be stopped at an earlier age. Very often this begins in a crisis, when the child is about 3 years old - that’s when you need to start weaning it off. Now it's already a habit. Or has this just started for you? If so, correct me and write again, we’ll think about it. If I’m right and this has been going on for the child for several years, then all you need is a firm hand. Not in terms of beating, but simply being stricter. You can clearly explain to a seven-year-old child that whining and crying for any reason is very bad. And under no circumstances give what he asks for through whining. Don't give - that's all. Until he asks normally. That is, he needs to calm down (this sometimes takes time), then in a calm voice, politely (please, etc.) ask for what he wants. If the roaring begins when he fails to do something, then again give time to cool down, roar, calm down and try to do it together (you show, and he repeats). Come up with a reward system. What does your child like? Mine is now 4 years old and if I say that in the evening I will read him an extra story before bed if he does what I ask, or is obedient all day, etc. - then he will bend over backwards to “earn” one more fairy tale before bed. Your child is 7 years old, you can even start saving money here. Put a coin in the piggy bank every day if that day went without whining. But at the same time, for every breakdown in whining or roaring, you take away a little money. If money is not so valuable to you, or you don’t like the idea, then you can start collecting magnets, pictures, and something else. Find something that interests your child. You can cut out stars and paste them on the calendar when the child behaved well, then look at the number of good days and not so good days in a week - and for the “majority” buy something for the child (or not buy if there were more bad days), maybe even something in the store to choose from. If you start such a calendar, it is better to hang it in a visible place, for example in the kitchen, so that the child can see the results of his efforts. In general, the reward system usually works well at this age. Plus, of course, there must be strictness... and categoricalness. Roars and whines - he won’t get what he asks for. But at the same time, you need to praise more than punish. That is, if he behaves well (especially independently without prior whining and your request not to whine and ask politely and calmly) - you need to praise and focus on how well he asked you to do something for him, you need to hug him, caress him . In general, good luck to you, and be sure to write about the results. And one more thing - you need to explain to the child (in clear language, in a kind way) how you will now react to his whining and roaring, what you will do, what is specifically required of him, how you will encourage or punish him. You need to explain before you start doing anything. All family members should take part, that is, if mom does not react to whining and does not allow something, then dad, grandmother, aunt should do the same as mom. It will be difficult, especially if this continues for several years. Patience and all the best to you.

It seems like just yesterday the baby was lying in his crib and having fun with rattles. But every day the child grows and develops. As a result, his needs, interests and behavior undergo changes - and they do not always seem positive to his parents. In some cases, only care and love are enough to help yesterday’s toddler socialize and overcome the next important milestone. But some problems in child psychology require the intervention of a specialist.

Little manipulator - tantrums as a way of “control”

Children's disobedience is a completely natural phenomenon. Realizing himself as an independent person on whom something in this world depends, the baby tries to experimentally determine the boundaries of his rights and capabilities. Wisdom and patience should help adults strictly define the boundaries beyond which it is prohibited.

First of all, we are talking about those situations where failure to comply with parental requirements can threaten the safety of the child himself - playing on the roadway, trying to study the structure of electrical appliances, playing with matches. As a rule, in these cases, the persistence of adults quickly bears fruit. But a trip to the store or a regular walk can become real torture if the baby does not accept the word “no”.

Mom and dad find themselves completely helpless in the face of children's tantrums. Many rush to extremes - from fulfilling any demands of the little dictator to ugly scenes with shouting and spanking. We can safely say that in such cases a good child psychologist is absolutely necessary - and not so much for the child as for the parents themselves.

If hysterics are episodic, there is no particular danger. But a complete loss of any control threatens big problems in the future. The child will grow, and his demands will increase. First of all, such pedagogical neglect will interfere with school. Accustomed to not taking into account the opinions of his family, a first-grader is unlikely to become a diligent and obedient student.

Shyness and aggressiveness are two sides of a coin

Children are different. Some people feel best alone; they like the cozy safety of their home. The other one is too actively exploring the world around him, periodically creating problems for himself and those around him - he takes away toys from other kids, pushes, fights, in general, shows aggression in all possible ways.

Such behavioral disorders are very common problems in child psychology; they necessarily require professional correction. The child must be taught to cope with his negative emotions, to redirect aggression in a “peaceful” direction. Often in such cases, exercise is advised, but only a specialist can give competent recommendations taking into account age.

It would seem that a quiet child is a complete plus. He does not create problems for parents and does not require too much attention. But the inability to build relationships with other children can lead to social failure in the future. Introverted children absolutely need to attend kindergartens or child development centers - only in such conditions can they gain the skills to fully communicate with peers.

Excessive shyness can cause lack of initiative and various complexes. Even if a child does well in school, he is unlikely to be able to achieve success in life if he is not helped in time to get rid of his psychological problems.

Hyperactivity

Adults believe that babies have no problems, but this is not true. A child can be tormented by dozens of different phobias - both irrational and completely understandable (for example, fear of dogs after an attack that once happened). Some children are too touchy and vulnerable, and quite successfully disguise these qualities with the help of feigned insolence and bravado.

Another common problem is hyperactivity. In fact, this is a real problem that only a child psychologist can help cope with. . A hundred questions and a thousand movements per minute - the parents of a little “energizer” know very well how difficult it is to keep up with such a child, to answer, to catch up, to stop and simply to force him to be still for at least ten minutes.

The difficulty is that hyperactive children find it much more difficult to study - they are restless, cannot concentrate, and do not learn new information well. To prevent this from affecting your school performance in the future, you should definitely visit a good specialist. Parents' attention to children's problems and experiences always benefits both the child and family relationships.

The child cries for any reason: what to do?

There are probably no children who don’t cry from time to time, but some babies have a strange feature - they cry a lot and for a long time with or without reason. Children's tears can hurt any parent's heart, so how can you calm your baby down and prevent frequent tears? If you fulfill all the child’s requests, then the crying is repeated more and more often; if you scold him for crying, then the crying develops into a real hysteria. So, how to solve the problem - Does the child cry for any reason? What should parents do?

• Tears as a way to get attention. Constantly busy parents pay attention to the baby only if he cries. In this case, tears become a reflex, that is, in order to be paid attention to, you need to cry, which is why the child whines when he is lonely or wants to play with mom or dad. To cope with such crying, you should spend more time with your baby.

• Crying is a means of manipulation. Children cry to get what they want (a toy, a longer walk or watch TV, etc.). It is possible to wean a child from this kind of manipulation only if you do not give in to it. Parents must be adamant and in no case should fulfill all the child’s requests.

• Tears and child psychology . Sometimes a child's frequent crying is explained by innate sensitivity, which is a consequence of the characteristic characteristics of the nervous system and temperament. These are, as a rule, gifted children with a penchant for music, painting or literature. Parents should treat such children with maximum attention and caution; they should not try to change their character.

• Tears as a means of psychotherapy. Children, like adults, sometimes experience inexplicable states of depression. In this case, tears will bring relief and calm the baby.

Of course, it is worth separating tears caused by mental stress from tears caused by pain. Although attentive parents can usually distinguish one from the other without difficulty.

Prevention for crybabies

Does your child cry for any reason? What to do to wean your baby from this habit? Can help good child psychologist . But parents can also try to cope with this problem on their own. First of all, it is necessary to teach the child to express his wishes and requests using normal intonations. When the baby starts crying, calmly explain: “I don’t understand what you want, calm down and repeat the request.”

Choose a suitable time when your baby is calm and have a conversation with him. Explain the difference between a normal tone and crying or whining, and demonstrate this. Let the baby understand the difference between “ahhhh, I want some candy” and “Mom, please give me some candy.”

Create a “crybaby corner” and use it regularly: “You’re starting to whine, so go stand in the crybaby corner and remember how to talk.” In the corner, the child will calm down faster and will be able to speak in a normal tone.

If a child starts crying in a store or on the street, demanding to buy him toys or sweets, parents will have to change their plans somewhat. Tell your child: “You’re crying again, which means we’re leaving here. We’ll only come back if you calm down.”

Parenting - this is an entire art, so parents should be patient. Do not focus on crying, react without anger or irritation, and do not scold the child. Remember, in order to teach your baby to be calm, you yourself must be completely calm.

The whims of a child can ruin the mood of the whole family. Have you planned an interesting outing, but your son or daughter, instead of being happy, bothers you with whining? Try and don't swear. In order to understand how to stop a child from whining, it is necessary to establish the reasons for such behavior.

Bad behavior demands attention

Most likely, you will be surprised, but in most cases the parents are to blame for a child’s bad behavior. Children usually strive to attract attention with their whims and whining. Even if this is not the most positive reaction, the baby will be flattered by the very fact of interest in him. Does your child constantly whine and be capricious for no reason, and it seems to you that he “doesn’t know what he wants”? Most likely, the reason for this behavior lies precisely in the lack of attention of parents. We adults are often overly absorbed in our own worries and problems. Try to evaluate how much time you devote to your child. We are talking about those moments when parents completely focus on communicating with the baby. Perhaps you should reconsider some of your views on raising a child, and then tantrums and whining will be a thing of the past?

Whining as a sign of fatigue

A long shopping trip or a long stay at a boring event - what could be more exhausting from a child's point of view? And very soon your six-year-old daughter is behaving like a very little girl. She is cold and hot at the same time, she wants to drink and sleep. “But my child is not a whiner at all, what happened to him?” - you will be amazed. In fact, everything is simple - he was overtired. How to stop a child from whining in public places? It is advisable to avoid overwork as such, this is harmful to the system. If your family has a busy day ahead, try to think about organizing breaks in advance. Changing types of activities will help your child maintain a good mood. After a long walk, it’s nice to sit in a cafe; after watching a performance, it’s interesting to take a walk. And, most importantly, during this time, do not forget to take an interest in the child’s well-being from time to time and ask if he needs anything.

The baby constantly whines and demands

In some families, sobbing and hysterical begging can be heard around the clock. The child asks for sweets, toys, and then with howls proves that he does not want and will not do something. What is this, does the baby really have such a bad character? If a child constantly whines, demonstrating his desire to achieve something, most likely, he believes that this tactic will help him. All children test the strength of their parents. Repeated requests, whining, demonstrative disobedience - this is only a small part of the arsenal with which children test the nerves of adults. But if it is tantrums and whining that become the favorite tools of a particular child, think about it, maybe he is spoiled? If you fulfilled your child’s request at least once in a similar situation, he will remember such an experience as positive. How to stop a child from whining in this case? Be patient and be prepared that breaking a bad habit will take some time.

How to re-educate

Never allow “just once” something that is usually forbidden. With such democratic upbringing, next time it will be difficult for the child to understand why he is being scolded for something that was previously permitted. If whims and whining were encouraged by satisfying the baby’s wishes, it will not be easy to wean him from such behavior. Start with a serious conversation. Remind your son or daughter that you are always ready to hear and discuss any of their requests and desires, but only on the condition that they are said in a calm tone. The success of this conversation is greatly influenced by the age of the child. It’s not difficult to reach an agreement with preschoolers over three or four years old. You just need to show a little patience and remind your child of the concluded agreement if necessary. How should parents behave if the hysteria has already begun? There are proven ways to stop crying and demands.

I don't hear the whining!

What to do, the child whines, whines and screams?! This behavior can make parents very upset or even angry. Stay calm, at least outwardly. Approach your baby and tell him that you will not talk to him or listen to him until he calms down. After this, you should pretend that you really don’t hear crying or screaming. Some mothers even ostentatiously put on headphones or go to another room. Be prepared for the fact that the baby will not shut up immediately. In addition, such behavior from the mother can provoke him even more or even offend him. But believe me, very soon you will notice that hysterics have begun to occur much less frequently. If, after the child has calmed down, he does not approach first, it is appropriate to ask him what he wanted to ask for.

We distract and entertain

One of the best ways to stop a child from whining about anything is to learn how to quickly switch his attention. The mother’s task is to catch the first whiny intonations in the baby’s voice and immediately offer him some interesting activity or game. This technique works in almost any situation. Even if the baby begins to whine, it is enough to say or show him something unusual and unexpected. This is a real salvation against whims and hysterics on the street or in any public place. Did your child whine at the most inopportune moment? Offer to look at a bird or a passing car; in a store, pay attention to the window decoration. The psychology of childhood is such that the thirst for knowledge and curiosity persists in any mood. You can stop the whining by simply saying something unexpected that will anger the child. Does your child ask to buy a new toy, choking on tears? Ask if he really changed his mind about going for a walk today? Most children, hearing such an unexpected question, are lost. Usually the child begins to prove that his mother misunderstood him, and this is not what he wanted to say.

Positive examples

All preschoolers enjoy role-playing games. Very often, children under the age of 7 years deliberately or unconsciously strive to be like the fairy-tale characters they like. So why not remind a spoiled child of the need to strive for the chosen ideal? Every little girl dreams of becoming a princess, but do real princesses whine? What about the brave knights and superheroes that your son likes so much? Look for examples of non-conflict and polite characters in cartoons and books. When watching and reading, draw your child’s attention to the positive qualities of the characters. Discuss the situations happening in the magical story and praise the main characters for their calmness and restraint.

Look at you!

You can distract a child from hysteria by showing him what such behavior looks like from the outside. If your baby has been whining for some time, you can take him to the mirror. The most important thing is to maintain a calm tone of voice and refrain from unnecessary expression. Flushed cheeks, a tear-stained swollen face, narrow eyes and tousled hair - this is exactly what most kids look like when they are capricious. Ask your child if he likes this appearance. Most likely, at this very moment the baby will stop whining. Take advantage of this pause and invite the little crybaby to go wash and comb his hair. How to stop a child from whining for any reason or without? When watching cartoons or reading fairy tales, pay attention to characters who behave in a similar way. Remind your child that such behavior is unacceptable, and even book characters could behave more calmly and positively.

List of prohibited phrases and techniques

Needless to say, children's whining and hysterics can drive anyone crazy. The simplest and most logical action in such a situation seems to be to scold the child and remind him that behaving in this way is indecent and unacceptable. Try to refrain from such actions. If you want to really understand how to stop a child from whining, you need to show restraint. Under no circumstances should you scold your child, insult him or set him up as an example for calmer peers. Such tactics will not lead to success, but it can injure the baby. Beware of cliched phrases like: “good girls don’t act like that” or “real men don’t cry.” Your task is to gradually wean your child off inappropriate behavior by gently distracting him during tantrums and demonstrating that nothing will be achieved by whining.

What to do if a child under three years of age constantly whines?

All of the above tips will help you cope with hysterics in a preschooler with whom you can come to an agreement. What to do if a child who is under three years old is whining? This age of the child is characterized by a significant desire to communicate combined with the inability to express his thoughts in words and sentences. Children are just learning to speak and want to constantly be the center of attention. Misunderstanding or ignoring can greatly upset the baby. How to behave correctly with a little whiner? You shouldn’t drop everything you’re doing and immediately run to your child as soon as he whines. But such hysterics cannot be ignored. Their cause most often lies in a lack of attention or natural physiological needs. If you make sure that it is not time to change his clothes or he does not want to eat. If the diaper is dry and the baby has eaten only recently, then it’s time to play with mom!

He fell and cried. They weren’t allowed to sit in front of the TV - she was crying. They forced her to put away her toys and she started crying again. In general, he always cries, for any reason and even without it. Yes, this is your child. Whiner, crybaby, capricious - you can call him whatever you want, but this will not change his behavior. At first it frightened you, then it irritated you, and now you are simply in a panic, because you understand that if the problem is not solved, then either you yourself will go crazy, or you will bring those around you to this state. Do not panic. You are not alone. In the sense that almost every second family experiences similar problems. So a child crying for any reason is not your personal punishment, this is the harsh reality of many Russian fathers and mothers.

Misconceptions and myths about baby crying

Most adults have already forgotten how difficult it is to be a child. They look down on their children and do not understand them at all. Misunderstanding leads, at best, to indifference, and at worst, to aggression. At the same time, adults are confident that they already know what needs to be said to a crying little person and how to behave correctly with him. Alas, they don’t know. Therefore, it’s time to debunk some myths about baby crying.

Myth No. 1. Children always cry over nothing.

In the world of adults there is a clear gradation: grief - problem - trouble - trifle. This classification is unknown to a child. For him, everything is grief. Losing a toy is a disaster. Can’t find the second sock – an absolutely hopeless situation. Mom, leaving for work, was in such a hurry that she didn’t have time to kiss her - how can you even live after that? This is a child's characteristic - a heightened perception of anything. So children don’t cry over trifles. They don't have trifles.

Myth No. 2. The phrase “men don’t cry” is the key to raising boys properly.

Who and when was the first to utter these words, for which more than one generation of men are paying with their health, is no longer important. It is important to understand that they are categorically incorrect and extremely harmful. After all, everything is quite the opposite: men cry, and the category of masculinity is not determined by the number of unshed tears. It is no coincidence that all psychologists unanimously recognize this method of raising boys as monstrously erroneous.

Myth No. 3. It will go away on its own.

Many parents are convinced that if you don’t pay attention to a crying and naughty child, then sooner or later he will calm down on his own. Like, the less you react to tears, the less often they will be shed. May be so. Maybe the child will actually calm down for a while. The only problem is that children’s tears always have a reason, and if they are suppressed, the reason will remain unidentified, and therefore the problem will remain unresolved.

Why do children cry?

First, let's rule out medical factors - we take the child to a neurologist and endocrinologist. If doctors discover health problems, we will get treatment. If the child is fine from a medical point of view, we look further for the reasons for children’s tearfulness.

The following options are possible:

• Your child is a great manipulator. Once he realized that his tears did not leave you, the parents, indifferent, he began to shed them at every opportunity to get what he wanted from you. And you are happy to be deceived, as long as your dear blood doesn’t get upset or, in the worst case, just shut up.
• The child is actually in pain. Mentally or physically, it doesn’t matter. It is important that you feel this and understand that tears are not a whim, but a medicine. This is exactly the case when “it won’t go away on its own.”
• The child lacks your attention. He knows that as soon as he cries, everyone will fuss around him. The first time it happened by accident, and then, driven by loneliness or some other negative state of his, the child called you to him again and again through tears. Maybe he just wants to be close to you, and you don’t even know it.
• Your child has increased sensitivity, so his tears are always somewhere nearby. His hyper-emotionality simply does not allow him to react to the world around him with more restraint. Therefore, the child will learn about him through crying - both when he feels good and when he feels bad. And it is unlikely to change with age, which should not be a cause for concern for you. After all, sensitive people are kind. And kindness is in short supply these days.
• Your child has low self-esteem. He cries because he feels sorry for himself, and he feels sorry for you too, because he is sure that you are unlucky with him: he is a bad child.
• There is an unhealthy atmosphere in your family. Adults at home are constantly arguing, shouting at each other and at the children. What else can children do in such a situation but cry with or without reason? Their nervous system becomes more unstable day by day, and tears are almost the only means of protection from the aggression of the outside world, crying as an emotional release.
• The child has not developed social communication skills. He does not know how to establish contacts with other children, and other children feel this, they begin to tease and bully the loser, who bursts into tears, which causes another wave of bullying, and so on in a circle.

Do you still think that children cry over nothing? No? Then let's decide what to do next.

How to help a child who is crying

It is forbidden

• Suppress, shout, threaten, resort to physical violence. “If you don’t shut up now, then I don’t know what I’ll do to you!”, “Stop crying, I said!”, “If you don’t stop crying, that stranger over there will take you away” - familiar phrases, right? But by saying them, you yourself become a manipulator. And very aggressive. Meanwhile, the child will withdraw into himself and harbor a grudge. And she won’t stop crying.
• Ignore tears. It’s like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand, and a child, in case of danger, folding his hands over his head and saying: “I’m in the house.” The illusion of not being involved in the problem will only make it worse.
• Forbid the child to show his feelings. Suppressing emotions can lead to a nervous breakdown.
• Succumb to obvious tearful provocations and follow the lead of the little manipulator.

It is possible and necessary

• Talk to your child as often as possible - he must learn to express his desires in words, not tears. He will be able to cry later, after he tells what worries him. True, then he most likely won’t want to cry anymore.
• React calmly, without shouting, to a child’s cry. If a child’s crying is joined by an adult’s hysteria, the result will be collective hassle. The rule of silence and calm will be especially useful if the child tries to pressure you with his tears. As soon as he realizes that nothing is working out for him, he will calm down himself.
• Switch the child's attention. Was the baby upset, offended, or hurt by something? Distract him from this childhood tragedy, find a reason for childhood joy. Children have short memories. A few minutes - and he will forget about the reasons for his tears.
• Accept a sensitive child for who he is. Do not reproach him for weakness, but, on the contrary, praise him for his kindness and sensitivity.
• Be there when the child feels bad, and rejoice with him when he feels good. This way he will have before his eyes a personal example of an adequate emotional response.
• Strictly, clearly, but without malice, explain to the child every time in case of whims that crying is allowed only for a reason, and crying for no reason is no longer good.
• Come up with a reward system for the child’s good behavior. Celebrate every day without whining and whims.
• Reconsider your own parenting behavior. In the end, children's crying is a reaction to our adult world, which children cannot change yet.

In general, in order to teach your child to adequately perceive the world around him, without hysterics and crying, you first need to pass the parental aptitude test yourself. And then the child’s crying will no longer be a punishment for you, but will become a signal that the little person really needs help.

All mothers, without exception, are familiar with this state of their own child, when he or she, regardless of gender, whines without stopping. Every parent would like to know how to stop a child from whining. I really want to avoid irritation caused by unreasonable whining and all the extreme measures that follow this state. The child seems to be deliberately forcing his guardians to take radical measures in the form of cornering and deprivation of all kinds of pleasures. Measures taken in an excited state help little and bring virtually no benefit at all.

Before punishing a child for frequent whining, it is necessary to determine the cause of the baby’s anxiety.

The punishment is followed by a new wave of whining, accompanied by now “legitimate” claims from the child’s point of view in terms of the fact that the parents, poor thing, do not love him at all and only punish him, and without any reason. Chadushko conveniently forgets at that moment what caused the punishment or restrictions on life’s pleasures, and behaves like a little man unfairly offended by evil fate.

At such moments, the “aggressor” (and at the same time a loving parent) truly begins to feel like a monster, incapable of objective judgments and quality education. Any educator who has encountered constant child whining will say that this phenomenon does not impart vitality and can be more exhausting than any physical work.

What factors can cause chronic whining?

Comparison and enumeration of the reasons most often used by children to “turn the lives of adults nearby into a nightmare” will help to make sense of the world of children’s whims and understand the difference in the reasons for the whining of a five-year-old and a two-year-old child. These phenomena are easy to identify. Often, an aggravation in terms of senseless whining begins at the moment when grandparents come to visit. Why? The fact is that sometimes the reasons for whims are precisely the lack of communication and affection.

The child wants every family member to love and please the little egoist. And if this doesn’t happen – immediately tears and hysterics

How to stop a child from crying for any reason, if parents, constantly busy with their work and household chores, believe that as long as the child is dressed, shod and fed - this is enough for the correct educational process? Ah, no. The child also wants love. Moreover, not in measured quantities, but without edge and measure, to be caressed from all sides, crushed by loving hands to the state of dough, literally strangled halfway with parental kisses.

And this is not fiction: after all, children feed on love, they need it for proper development and normal spiritual maturation. Have you sometimes noticed that the baby goes around everyone in the house and literally collects kisses?

Let's just say that a child should be one hundred percent sure 25 hours a day that not only mom and dad love him, this goes without saying, but the whole Universe too. Only then is the child satisfied, and there are a little fewer reasons for roaring. A little about what else, in addition to a lack of love, makes a baby or teenager cry - these can be the following factors:

• painful condition;
• lack of attention;
• mood;
• inability to occupy oneself without the help of adults;
• longing for loved ones;
• spoiled;
• a way to achieve your goal;
• desire to appear small;
• trait.

Even a little person can be in a bad mood. It seems to the parents that he is deliberately getting on their nerves. But maybe you can just come up with something interesting for your child to do?

Hidden diseases

It happens that a constantly whining baby, especially if he does not yet know how to speak and cannot correctly answer your questions like “where is Vava,” just needs to be examined. Take him to the doctor for a checkup.

It is possible that the child is simply in pain. Children, just like adults, are capable of getting sick, this is clear to everyone, so you shouldn’t leave everything to chance, thinking that the baby is just being capricious. It is better to rule out more serious reasons first and only then start educating.

Lack of attention

Often the concepts of an adult and a child about the “dosage” of love diverge radically. If it seems to us, big people, that our baby is completely satisfied in terms of games and affection, in reality this may not be the case at all. There is no need to say indignantly that there is not enough time for everything. Sometimes half an hour a day dedicated specifically to the child’s interests is enough to make him feel important and needed.

The child needs communication with parents and joint games. And you need to do not only what the parents consider necessary, but also important things, in the baby’s opinion, for example, reading books or blowing soap bubbles

We are talking here about playing and communicating eye to eye without any distractions like a phone. Hand on heart, let’s admit to ourselves honestly that sometimes most parents communicate more often with a computer screen than with their own children.

Our little (and not so little) crumbs are also susceptible to the influence of weather factors, geomagnetic storms and other “natural evil spirits”. A child, no worse than an adult, can have a bad mood from boredom or a rude word. There is no need to assume that the baby does not understand anything, and you can tell him anything.

By paying attention to your child’s emotional state and choosing expressions in conversations with him, you can avoid many unpleasant antics on his part. Don't make him cry by humiliating him with rude expressions. In other words, respect your child and you will be respected.

Inability to properly organize your leisure time

Many kids and even older children, for example, five-year-olds, cannot properly use their free time. Left alone with themselves, the children begin to get bored and then pester the adults with the same question, sounding something like this:

- Mom, well ma-a-m, what should I do? This continues until the impatient mother yells at her child or puts him in a corner. How to wean it off? There is, of course, an alternative solution - play with the child and he will stop crying, but this is not always possible due to total busyness.

Spoiled

Sometimes the reason why a child starts crying is an ordinary lack of upbringing, or, more simply, spoilage. Overly spoiled children develop a trait in their character that does not allow them to quietly remain in the background.

Such a baby needs to be constantly in the center, he needs the close attention of adults and round-the-clock participation and service to his little person. Parents should not complain here, because such behavior of the child is a direct result of their connivance and permissiveness.

Is your baby trying to get a new toy by whining? Stop it right away. At a younger age, it’s hard to resist tears in your eyes, but in the future, the ability to negotiate purchases will greatly save both your budget and nerves

How to achieve your goal

For example, 7, 8, 9 year olds are quite capable of deliberately getting on their parents’ nerves by whining and howling:

- Nobody loves me, poor man, and they don’t buy me anything. Look, Tanka has a new phone, but I don’t have one at all. If children at 4-5-6 years old are only able to cry and beg for toys, then with age the methods of influence remain the same, but the needs increase.

It's not just the years that grow. This is especially noticeable when it comes to spending money. What to do? It is best to try to deal with the habit of whining at a young age, this will help avoid financial ruin when the child grows up. Do not forget that soon the harmfulness of adolescence and hypertrophied resentment will be added to the bad habit. This results in a very explosive mixture.

The desire to stay small longer

Unreasonable tears, as well as deliberately infantile behavior, often manifest themselves in those children whose families have younger brothers or sisters. Until this moment, everything was wonderful, the parents were always happy to play, but then everything changes in an instant, and the baby increasingly hears phrases like “do it yourself,” “sit quietly,” “you’re already big,” and so on. What nerves can withstand this? Naturally, he tries with all his might to turn family life back into the usual direction and prove to everyone that he is still very young and also needs care and help.

What should parents do?

Excluded

1. Give in to tearful manipulations and follow the lead of the little crybaby. Children quickly understand that the desired goal can be achieved with tears and screaming.
2. Ignore the tears. You cannot ignore a crying child, as the problem remains unresolved (see also:). Leaving your baby alone with tears will only make the situation worse.
3. It is highly recommended not to shout, call names, or use physical methods. “Shut up or I’ll put you in a corner”, “Stop yelling!”, “Now the evil policeman will take you away.” These phrases are often used by parents, but none of them help fix the problem. In this case, adults themselves begin to manipulate children, and very aggressively. As a result, the child only withdraws into himself, harbors a grudge or is exposed to fear. And he may start crying even more.
4. There is no need to suppress emotions by prohibiting crying. Regular suppression of natural emotional manifestations leads to nervous disorders.

Scolding, punishing and blackmailing are the worst methods of “interacting” with a crybaby

Which is correct?

• It is important to learn to respond calmly to crying. When an adult’s cry joins the child’s tears, the result is a general hysterical drama. Calmness and silence will help in case of baby pressure. He will understand that tears will not achieve what he wants and will calm down.
• Accepting a sensitive and emotional baby. He is who he is. You should not focus on his tearfulness, try to praise him for his kindness.
• Learn to switch the interest of a whiny child. If something has offended, upset or hurt him, then you need to try to distract him from the child’s misfortune. Find him something interesting to do and the baby will forget about the cause of the disorder.
• When a child feels bad, you need to be there and show compassion and support by personal example. In this way we teach children appropriate behavior in a difficult situation. Small children demand that adults pay attention to their troubles: “Have pity,” “Stroke,” “Sit next to me.”
• If a child is capricious and demands the impossible, then you need to calmly and without aggression explain to him that crying will not help: “I understand you, but I cannot fulfill your demand.” It is worth learning to recognize provocations and explain to the baby that crying only upsets and does not help get what you want.
• At the end of the day, you can sum up the results and praise the child for a day spent without whims and crying. You can give your child homemade medals and count how many you get. In this case, we cannot scold; we consolidate only positive results.
• In some cases, it is worth reconsidering your parental views. Sometimes a child reacts to the adult world with tears, because he cannot express his emotions and feelings otherwise.

So, in order to learn how to cope with children's tantrums and crying, you need to get to know your child better; in some cases, it is useful to change your parent's parenting style.

Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal Psychology and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in clinical psychology