Every family strives to raise their child to be the best and happiest. From our article you will learn what the harmonious development of a child is and what needs to be done for this.
Harmonious development of the child
The birth of a baby is a great happiness for the family and we all try very hard to ensure that he grows up healthy and cheerful. Let's figure out what the harmonious development of a child is. Every parent wants their child to grow up to be a full-fledged person and to be healthy psychologically and physically. Many parents believe that they completely and completely mold their child’s character, behavior and lifestyle. To a greater extent this is true.
Even during intrauterine development, the baby develops the inclinations of character, talents and inclinations for something. It is impossible to change what is already instilled into the child.
Let's figure out what conditions must be met for its harmonious development:
- The child must be treated as an equal. You need to teach your child as if you were his friend and set only a positive example. Remember that children very quickly begin to copy the behavior of their parents, and if you do not want to blush in front of people because your child expresses himself uncivilly, then always think about what you are saying in front of them.
Do not attribute adult qualities to your child. After all, very young children do not yet know how to be cunning and do something on purpose. They are not able to think well logically and make any responsible decisions.
- respect your child. First of all, he is a person, even at a very young age. Give him a choice, don't always try to decide everything for him. Your main task is to help your child learn to control himself and make decisions on his own. He may make mistakes sometimes, but he will learn from his own mistakes. Do not try to constantly protect and warn him, unless of course this is the case when something threatens the child’s life. And it’s enough just to give advice and teach how to do the right thing.
- If possible, create a social circle for your child from his peers as early as possible. First this kindergarten, then school. In order for a child to develop correctly, he must communicate with other children. In this case, he will learn to be friends, coexist with peers, and make some decisions. He will understand how to communicate with other people and realize what place he occupies in society and what he wants to achieve.
- love and accept your child for who he is. When a baby feels loved and needed, he tries to answer you in kind. Don't rush to swear and shout at him if he did something wrong. Remember yourself at his age. All people learn from mistakes. The main thing for you is to find common language and to understand your child, it is also very important that he understands you. A child really needs to always feel safe and protected.
The harmonious development of a child depends almost 100% on the parents. Also from your social circle and environment. The process of cultivating harmony is endless; it can be continued not only in childhood, but also as an adult. This will be a good basis for self-improvement and self-education.
You can also add that harmonious development includes 3 components: development of the body, development of the soul and development of the spirit.
- Body development - physical development, it is needed for good health and endurance;
- Development of the soul - emotional experience, the ability to feel and see beauty. Engage in creativity or any activity that you like;
- Development of the spirit - knowledge of the world and oneself.
All these components are very closely interconnected and complement each other. It is important that the child develops in these three directions at once, without singling out any one of them.
Ecology of life. People: Only a harmonious personality is capable of Love. A person in disharmony does not love, he expects love. If we are in a waiting mode, a deficit, then when we receive something we are not satisfied with it.
Only a harmonious personality is capable of Love. A person in disharmony does not love, he expects love. If we are in a waiting mode, a deficit, then when we receive something we are not satisfied with it. All benefits, spiritual and material: health, wealth, relationships, true happiness, absolute knowledge come to a person when he is in harmony. The Vedas say: just become harmonious, and everything will be revealed to you from within, enlightenment will come to you on its own.
A harmonious person develops at 4 levels:
The physical level reflects physical and mental health.
Physical health is an important factor for spiritual development. If you are not healthy, then you will not be able to enjoy the material world and make progress in the spiritual world. The physical layer consists of the following elements:
Taking care of the body. Regular cleansing of internal organs (intestines, liver and kidneys).
Proper nutrition. Our physical and mental health depends on nutrition: what we eat, where, how, with whom and, very importantly, when and at what time of day.
Water. Our body and brain need to receive clean water regularly. Precisely water, not tea and various drinks. It is advisable to drink about 2 liters during the day. Yogis who live long and healthy life, drink a few sips every 15 minutes.
Spine. The whole body depends on the condition of the spine. In Eastern medicine they say that the flexibility of the spine shows how long a person will live. Thinking also depends on this. For example, if you walk straight and smile, your mood involuntarily improves.
Breath. In Eastern culture there are various breathing techniques that help to form a strong immune system, be energetic, and recover quickly in case of a serious illness. For example, in Vedantism it is pranayama, in Chinese culture it is qigong gymnastics, wushu, etc. It is important to have calm, peaceful breathing. Yogis say: the more often you breathe, the less you have to live, and, accordingly, vice versa.
Dream. It is important to have proper adequate sleep. You should know that the most beneficial sleep is from 9 pm to 5 am.
Posts. It is important to fast regularly and consciously abstain from eating. For the body and mind, as well as for the development of character, abstinence from food is important.
Sex life. All sexual perversions, and simply indulging one’s lust, take a lot of subtle energy and worsen a person’s general condition. In our age, everything is aimed at turning a person into a slave of the penis, making him a primitive sexually preoccupied consumer.
Exercise. It is very important for both body and mind to move a lot. The best is fast walking and swimming. Dancing and yoga are also helpful.
Nature. You need to be in nature as much as possible. Just being there, especially in the mountains or by the sea, can quickly improve your mental state and dramatically strengthen your immune system. It is better, of course, to generally live in nature.
Elimination of all bad habits: Smoking and alcohol, including beer, kill beauty, youth, and make you very old. Having bad habits a person cannot be physically and mentally healthy and happy. Regular good rest. Complete withdrawal from all activities, at least once a week and once every few months for a week or two.
The social level includes the following:
Find your purpose and live in accordance with it. Just as every cell or organ in our body has a purpose, so every living being has its purpose in this life. It is very important to understand it and follow it.
To succeed as a man or woman. A man must develop masculine qualities. First of all, be able to take responsibility, be courageous, logical, and consistent. If a man is not a monk, he must take responsibility for the woman and children for life, making them happy and prosperous. For a woman - the development of femininity, the ability to care, an intuitive approach to life, to become a good mother and wife.
Fulfilling your duty in the family (husband-wife; parent-child). The universe stops helping a person who does not serve his family. Moreover, if a person leaves family responsibilities and does not want to have a family and children. Exceptions apply to those who have completely renounced the world and live very ascetically. But in the family, in serving society, one can learn no less of the highest wisdom.
Improving the fate of one’s family, serving one’s family, honoring one’s ancestors, whatever they may be.
The ability to make money. This applies to men. But the right attitude towards money is important for everyone. Money should be treated as the energy of God, with respect, but without greed. In addition, you need to be able to live happily and peacefully, regardless of the amount of money.
Correctly build and maintain relationships with other people. Be able to arrange a happy and harmonious personal life. The way we can love manifests itself in relationships. Everything we put above relationships, we lose.
Bring good to the world with your life, first of all to your loved ones. We must feel and see that we are not living in vain, that thanks to our lives at least someone becomes happier and healthier and, most importantly, loving.
Intellectual level reflects the wisdom and intelligence of a person
In modern culture, it is customary to consider a person intelligent depending on how many books he has read, how many languages he knows, how many scientific degrees he has. But this has practically nothing to do with the definition of this word. It would be more correct to say about such a person that he is smart. A truly intelligent person:
Sets goals (for the day, week, year, and several years) and purposefully achieves them. This is especially important for men. For the three main qualities of harmonious and successful man- this is determination, fearlessness and generosity.
He knows that the goal of life can only be on a spiritual level - this is Divine Love. And for him this is the main value of life to which he is moving.
Knows that we are a soul, a spirit, and not a physical or mental body.
Distinguishes the temporary from the eternal, choosing a path that is favorable for harmonious development, increasing love in the soul and rejecting everything that is unfavorable for this.
Able to concentrate, achieve peace of mind and control of the five senses.
Capable of changing your destiny. Only a person with a strong, spiritualized mind, as well as great willpower and the ability to achieve his lofty goals, is able to change his destiny and go his own way, thanks to the ability to change his character and form the correct worldview.
Monitors your emotions and thus does not fall under their influence.
The spiritual level is the basis of everything
It is in it that true reality is present. If the spiritual level is poorly developed, then all levels will collapse and cause suffering. This is internal fullness, spiritual and moral values, knowledge about the Soul.
The most important thing that matter cannot give, and what is the main treasure of the eternal spiritual world, is unconditional love. This world can only endow a person with fears, attachments and dependencies, and the desire to consume. The soul is unconditional love. Therefore, the main indicator of a person’s “spiritual advancement” is how much he lives with unconditional love. True spirituality is love. Take away love, and everything will lose meaning and begin to bring enormous suffering: food, sex, social life, intellectual games, etc.
To the extent that a person can live here and now, that is, in reality, he is so spiritualized. The soul is outside of time and space - for it there is no past and future, but only the present. Only in the “here and now” state can one experience unconditional love. The perfection of life is simply being a loving presence.
Unselfishness. The soul, our higher self, is love. Getting into this world, a person is covered with a false ego, egoism, which destroys his life, because the ego wants to consume and live for itself. It is pleasant to be in the spiritual world or in the company of saints, because everyone there serves each other. Love can only be felt when we sacrifice, give, care in a humble state of mind without expecting anything in return. Therefore, we can also say that true spirituality is both selflessness and service, without expectation of reward.
The most important indicator of spirituality is the ability to see the Divine in everything and everyone. After all, there is nothing outside of this. Seeing and feeling the Divine in everything, you increasingly feel oneness with everything and everyone. Everything in this world is connected: every event, every living creature.
Service. Everything in nature serves, fulfills some role. A person has a choice: to serve himself or to serve everyone. For real spiritual person– selfless and therefore serves more. This involves serving your family and community.
Absence of condemnation, harsh assessments, and fanatical confidence in any philosophical or religious doctrine. For a harmonious person, love constantly increases; more and more profound knowledge, understanding and vision of the world are revealed to him. But when a person believes in some frozen concept and believes that this can only be the case, he abruptly stops in his development. published
Harmonious development of the child’s personality. Reasons why aggressive behavior may occur and measures to prevent aggression
The development is intended for psychologists, teachers additional education, methodologists and parents.Target: familiarization with measures to prevent child aggression.
Tasks:
1) teach constructive behavioral reactions in a problem situation;
2) teach parents to control themselves and their negative emotions;
3) promote the development of the child’s ability to control his emotions and adequately express his desires.
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We talk about the harmonious development of a person’s personality when we mean that several spheres are developed in us simultaneously and are in approximately equal proportions.
In the process of raising a child, it is necessary to pay attention to the development of 5 main areas (components). All of them are inextricably linked with each other like communicating vessels, they all mutually enrich each other, forming whole personality and individuality.
1 sphere- General physical development. It is the material basis for the life of the child’s body. It includes physical development itself, i.e. the process of growth of the body, increasing dexterity, strength, the formation of physical functions under the influence of living conditions and types of activity. This also includes special physical development aimed at fulfilling special types movements, primarily purely professional ones. Labor development is also closely related to this. It includes a stable habit of labor effort and overcoming the difficult, unpleasant sensations associated with it. This habit gradually develops into a personality quality that we call hard work. The development of a child to the degree of hard work means his mastery of general and special labor knowledge, skills and abilities, psychological readiness To labor activity, the ability to obtain pleasure and satisfaction from the work process.
2 sphere - Intellectual development. This most important species human development. It represents the formation in a child of the ability to master various types of thinking (empirical, figurative, theoretical, concrete logical, etc.). An important part of it is the ability to independently analyze events and phenomena of reality, to draw independent conclusions and generalizations.
3rd sphere - Moral development. It is very important in a child’s life. It includes knowledge of basic moral norms, rules, strong social and value guidelines, behavioral habits in unity with sustainable moral sense, the ability of moral experience. It involves the determination to make behavioral choices based on moral convictions.
4 sphere- Aesthetic development. The ability of an active ideological and emotional response to aesthetic phenomena of art and reality, the aesthetic ideal and artistic taste, the ability of aesthetic perception, experience, judgment, evaluation.
5 sphere- Emotional development. It is expressed in his ability to correctly sensually respond to the influences of the phenomena of surrounding reality. It also presupposes the ability to control spontaneous emotional impulses and reactions, and mental states.
A child’s inability to control his emotions and adequately express his desires is one of the problems of this age. Children become more capricious and whiny. However, a fairly common negative emotion of this age stage may also manifest itself. Aggression at this age, as an emotion, can develop into a personality quality if there are no corrective interventions and educational influences.
The child’s inability to control his emotions and adequately express his desires is one of the problems of children preschool age. Children become more capricious and whiny. However, a fairly common negative emotion of this age stage – aggressiveness – may also manifest itself. Aggression at this age, as an emotion, can develop into a personality quality if there are no corrective interventions and educational influences.
Aggressiveness- This is a personality trait expressed in readiness for aggression.
Aggression– motivated, destructive behavior that contradicts the norms and rules of the existence of people in society, causing physical harm to objects of attack (animate and inanimate), as well as moral damage to living beings (negative experiences, states of tension, depression, fear, etc.).
The question naturally arises: why do children begin to behave this way, where does aggression come from?
Children draw knowledge from 3 sources:
Firstly, this is a family that can simultaneously demonstrate aggressive behavior and ensure its consolidation.
Secondly, children learn aggression through interaction with peers, often learning about the benefits of aggressive behavior during games.
Thirdly, children learn aggressive reactions not only from real examples, but also from symbolic ones. At present, there is virtually no doubt that scenes of violence shown on television screens contribute to an increase in the level of aggressiveness of the viewer, and first of all, of children.
As you know, family is the first and most important social institution child; here he begins to get acquainted with the world around him. Consequently, the atmosphere and relationships in the family have a great, perhaps the most important influence on the development of the child.
There is a direct connection between manifestations of children's aggressiveness and parenting styles in the family. The dismissive, conniving attitude of adults towards a child’s aggressive outbursts also leads to the formation of aggressive personality traits in him. Children often use aggression and disobedience to attract the attention of an adult.
Children whose parents are characterized by excessive compliance, uncertainty, and sometimes helplessness in the educational process do not feel completely safe and also become aggressive. Parents' uncertainty and hesitation when making any decisions provokes the child into whims and outbursts of anger, with the help of which children can influence the further course of events and at the same time achieve their own.
A child’s aggressiveness is a problem not only for parents and people around the child, this quality also hinders the child himself. Hence, correctional work should be conducted both with the child himself and with the people around him, in particular with his parents.
CORRECTIONAL EVENTS WITH A CHILD
Directions:
1. Teaching acceptable ways to express anger
There are 4 ways to express anger:
a) directly (verbally or non-verbally) express your feelings, while giving vent to your own negative emotions;
b) express anger in indirect form, taking it out on a person or object that seems harmless to the angry person;
c) restrain your anger, “driving” it inside; in this case, gradually accumulating negative feelings will contribute to stress;
d) detain negative emotion until its onset, without giving it the opportunity to develop; in this case, the person tries to find out the cause of anger and eliminate it as soon as possible.
When a child has an outburst of anger, you can ask him to do the following:
crumple and tear paper;
hitting a pillow or punching bag;
stomp your feet;
write on paper all the words you want to say, crumple it up and throw away the paper.
You can use the following exercise: “Drawing your own anger” (sculpt anger from plasticine, clay).
To complete the exercise you will need sheets of drawing paper, colored pencils ( plasticine, clay).
1. Ask the child to think about the situation (person) that causes the maximum feeling of anger and aggression on their part.
2. Ask the child to note in which parts of the body he feels his anger the most. Discuss this with your child.
3. When the child talks about his feelings, ask him - “What does your anger look like?”, “Can you portray it?”
Children typically associate feelings of anger with fiery lava, a raging volcano, a black hurricane, a dragon, an angry tiger, a panther, or a specific offender who caused such negative feelings.
4. It is important to discuss his drawing with your child, showing sincere interest. We note:
- what is shown in the picture;
- what the child felt when he drew his anger;
- can he speak on behalf of his drawing (this is done to identify the child’s hidden motives and experiences);
- did his condition change when he completely drew his drawing.
5. Next, ask your child what he would like to do with this drawing.
Some children crumple the drawing, some tear it and throw it away, some hit it. But most children note that their drawing has already become different (as a rule, the color, size, and sometimes the content of the drawing changes, and in a positive direction). In this case, it is worth asking the child to depict the modified version and also discuss it.
*How does he feel?
*Ask him to talk on behalf of the new drawing
*What is his condition now?
6. Often children, in the process of drawing (sculpting) their anger (rage, aggression), begin to express everything they think about this whole situation and their offender; there is no need to interfere with them, because the more fully they express themselves, the more it will contribute changes in their emotional state as a whole.
2.Teaching children the skills to control and manage their own anger (self-regulation skills)
Aggressive children have poorly developed control over their emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to develop the skills to control and manage one’s own anger, to teach children some self-regulation techniques that will allow them to maintain a certain emotional balance in a problematic situation. It is also important that children master relaxation techniques in order to teach the child not to clench his jaw during an “unpleasant situation.” Relaxation exercises also help reduce the level of personal anxiety.
Exercise: “Entering Rules”
1. Before you take action, tell yourself “STOP!”
To learn the skill more effectively, you should draw a “STOP!” sign with your child. in the form of a circle with the corresponding inscription inside.
Whenever you want to hit or push someone, or swear, you need to touch the sign or simply imagine it.
2. Before you take action, clench your fists tightly and unclench them (this is for especially pugnacious children). The exercise should be repeated up to 10 times.
3. Before you take action, take a deep breath and count to 10.
4. Before you take action, stop and think about what you want to do.
Exercise: “Relaxation”
Relaxation is promoted by slow and deep breathing using the diaphragm. Young children are taught this type of breathing using the “put a balloon in your tummy and deflate it slowly” exercise. When the child masters belly breathing using the diaphragm, you can move on to exercises using muscle relaxation.
It is necessary to relax the muscles in the following sequence:
*arms (hand, forearm, shoulder);
*neck;
*stomach;
*legs;
*head, mainly the facial part (mouth, nose, forehead)
The exercise is performed as follows:
*The child sits or lies comfortably
*Takes a deep breath
*While holding your breath, it strongly tenses the muscles of the part of the body you are working with, and represents the person or event with whom you are angry.
*As you exhale, you exhale your anger in the form of a cloud (let it go)
*Then rests for a while
*The exercise with each part of the body should be repeated 1-2 times.
3. Teaching the child constructive behavioral reactions in a problem situation
Aggressive children have a fairly limited range of behavioral reactions. As a rule, in a problem situation they adhere to forceful patterns of behavior.
Exercise: ask the child in what situations it is difficult for him to restrain himself, under what circumstances he shows aggression. Make a list with your child - a list of such situations. Choose from the list a less conflicting one that will make it easier for your child to cope with his negative behavioral reactions. Discuss possible options behavior. Ask your child to write options on the list next to the given situation. Analyze and discuss with your child the consequences of each chosen behavior option.
Exercise: “Keeping a self-observation notebook”
In a separate notebook or notebook, the child should write down the situation that happened to him, feelings, thoughts. What did you want to do with this? Did you manage to avoid aggressive behavior? And then, after a certain set period of time, the child should be checked and encouraged in some way if he manages himself successfully.
5. Formation of awareness of your inner world, as well as the feelings of other people. Developing empathy.
To do this, you should teach the child to recognize from photographs and drawings what feelings a person is experiencing, what emotions.
You can use so-called “pill faces”.
CORRECTION EXERCISES FOR PARENTS
As already noted, if parents demonstrate aggressive behavior and express anger, therefore, the child will unconsciously learn such behavior. Therefore, parents need to learn to control themselves and their negative emotions.
There are several recipes for parents to get rid of anger.
Dealing with aggressive children is a special problem that requires certain skills and abilities to resolve.
1. Mastery of the language of I-statements.
This is a technique and way in which an adult communicates to a child about his feelings and negative experiences, and not about him and not about his behavior that caused this experience. I statements always begin with the pronouns “I”, “me”, “me”.
Before you begin to form an “I” statement, first listen carefully to yourself, become aware of your emotions, feelings, and experiences, so that you can then express them to your child.
Let's try to formulate I-statements for the proposed situations.
situation: he came from the street in dirty shoes, left a footprint in the hallway, refused to wash his shoes and remove the dirt - your feeling: irritation, resentment, upset
situation: a student banged a ruler on his desk and did not let him teach the lesson - your feeling: anger, irritation, anger
situation: the child missed class at school, walked down the street - your feeling: anxiety, worry, fear
2. Active listening
Actively listening to a child means returning to him in a conversation what he told you, while indicating his feelings. Active listening is a way to tell your child that you hear his feelings, you care about them and care deeply about them. This is a way to connect with the child and tell him: “I understand you and accept what you are going through.”
The main rule of the active listening method is the following: if a child is upset, offended, failed, if he is hurt, scared, or even if he is just tired, the first thing to do is to make it clear that you know about his experiences.
This is quite simple to do; you just need to voice the child’s experiences. For example: a child runs up to his mother in tears, “He took my ball.” Mom: “I understand, you are very upset and angry, you are afraid that they will not return your toy.” Agree, this sounds unusual, because it is much easier to succumb to the first impulse and say “Well, it’s okay, let him play a little, don’t be greedy!”
Despite all the apparent justice of this answer, it has one big drawback - you leave the child alone with his experiences. By her answer, the mother seems to be telling the child that his experiences are not important and are not taken seriously.
The next principle is this: if you are talking to an upset child, you should not ask him questions. A phrase framed as a question does not reflect sympathy. And don’t forget to pause after each remark. Give your child time to sort out his feelings.
Exercise: “PARAPHRASE” - repetition, using several phrases, of the main meaning of the interlocutor’s words.
Let's practice:
saying: Today in math class I didn’t understand one task and told the teacher about it, and he told me that I need to be more careful Your Answer 1. If I understood you correctly, you were unable to figure out one task, and you wanted the teacher to help you. But he didn’t help - it’s very disappointing.
2. If I understood you correctly, you were not very attentive in class and therefore failed to complete the task.
saying: when I was leaving school, the boys pushed me. I fell and stained my pants. I didn't want to get them dirty, it just happened that way Your Answer 1. If I understood you correctly, you got into a fight with the boys again, but you couldn’t stand up for yourself, and besides, you got all your trousers dirty.
2. 2. If I understood you correctly, you are unpleasant that the boys pushed you, and you are worried about your stained trousers, you are afraid that I will scold you.
A harmoniously developed personality is a variant of a developed personality, a personality with uniform development of all sides and living without internal conflicts, with internal harmony.
Such a person feels good and happy. Most likely, it will be just as nice with him. But if this is not the case and someone is not having a good time with him, he doesn’t really care. The main thing is that he should feel good. A beautiful version of the Consumer, usually in the version of reasonable selfishness: “If others around me feel good, it will be better for me! Therefore, in order for me to feel good, I am ready to take care of those around me.”
Is the development ideal for a humanistic, client-centered approach. Another strong alternative to a harmoniously developed personality is a hierarchically developed personality.
A harmoniously developed personality and a harmonious personality are practically synonymous, although there are certain semantic differences between these concepts. By definition O.I. Motkova, a harmonious personality is a person with an optimally integrated internal dynamic structure, with optimal consistency with the outside world, with optimal functioning and development.
Harmony and development
Harmony and harmony do not always contribute to development. They can replace development, or even directly hinder it. See>
