The child is not selfish; proper upbringing is important. How to raise a child so that he does not grow up to be selfish? What you should and shouldn’t do when raising an egoist

13.02.202427.05.2017

A small, defenseless and such a beloved child - how can you not pamper him, forbid him to do this and that, not buy him a toy he likes? But such an attitude towards children is the first step towards the fact that an egoist will grow up in the family. Almost always in families where children are spoiled, parents suffer from their selfishness, the constant “I want”, “I won’t”, “buy”, “me and only me!” But while the baby is still small, these little pranks seem so funny to us; we attribute all these selfish habits to a small age, to an immature consciousness, to excessive curiosity. And only when selfishness begins to manifest itself with all its might, the child says: “I won’t wash the dishes until you buy a T-shirt”, “I don’t have time to go to my sick granny because I made an agreement with friends”, “buy me this this minute”, “I always I’m right and I know everything better than others” - then the parents grab their heads and cannot understand what they missed in raising their beloved son or daughter.

Reasons for the formation of child selfishness

Excessive love is harmful

As soon as the child was born, he became the center of attention. Mom and dad don’t sleep at night; all day long they try to make their child’s life safe, cozy, warm and comfortable. And it cannot be any other way, because the human baby was created by the Almighty in such a way that until he at least begins to move independently on the Earth, he simply vitally needs the help of his relatives. But when he is already one year old, he begins to explore the world and slowly understand that now he is the main thing in his mother’s life, and whatever he asks for will be done right away. Any toy, candy, any attractions in the park - all this is immediately presented to the child “on a tray with a blue border” at his first call. After such permissiveness and “everything can be bought”, the child’s boundaries of what is permitted are erased, it doesn’t matter to him that dad lost his job, that you can’t buy him another fancy toy - since the child wants it, it means he should have it right away, because before everything so it was. If the child does not receive this, he may become hysterical, roll on the floor and scream and cry loudly. And if you fall for this canard, then consider that you have lost this “battle”, and the child’s selfishness has begun to manifest itself in full force.

“No” to independence - “yes” to selfishness

There is another common type of overprotection - when parents do everything for their child, just so that he grows up healthy and studies well. From childhood, the child does not even know that he needs to make the bed, put away the dishes, wash them, put away toys and things immediately after using them - his mother and grandmother do all this for him. Firstly, such a child grows up completely unadapted to normal adult life; he can live his whole life next to his mother simply because he is not able to do without her help. And secondly, when a child simply does not know how to do all this now, he will refuse to learn in the future. You will say “you’re already big, it’s time to make your bed,” to which you will receive either simply ignoring silence or the child’s anger, and only you will be to blame for this, because you never allowed him to do something on his own.

The lack of independence will manifest itself especially clearly when making some decisions. If from the very beginning you have always decided everything for your child, then in any subsequent situation he will come running to you and shake the answer out of you this very minute, and you will simply have to solve his problems right there, putting aside all your affairs.

If a child has no one to take care of - there is no sister or brother, his grandmother is also looked after by his mother and father, then he will never learn to sacrifice himself for the sake of another person. The fact has been proven more than once: if there is only one child in the family, then in most cases he grows up to be an egoist (this trait is more pronounced in some people, in some people those around them hardly notice it, but it still exists). As a result, it turns out that everything that the child does, he does only for himself, he does not need to share with his sister, he does not need to think about the fact that his parents should buy a jacket not only for him, but also for his brother. Everything that parents buy, give, say and do is all for him. And if everything around since childhood revolves around one child, he begins to feel like the center of the universe, and in the future it will be difficult to convince him otherwise.

Financial incentives

A child should have a moral incentive and respect for his parents, and not material calculations. For example, once you asked your child to wash the dishes and you yourself said that he would receive candy or some money for this. For the first time, the child will be happy and will gladly fulfill your request. However, the next time he does this in the hope of receiving rewards and does not receive it, this is where the problems begin. He won’t just wash the dishes anymore, and if you ask for something, you will immediately hear “what will I get for this?” That is, the child’s respect for you and your work is much lower than the possibility of reward. He first of all thinks about himself, and not about the fact that you are tired - and this is the first alarm bell.

Lack of attention

Children grow up to be selfish even in the diametrically opposite situation - if they lack attention, love, they don’t feel secure in life, don’t communicate with loved ones, and they don’t have a stable home world. Living in such conditions, a child learns to survive, and not to live, and thoughts form in his head that if he doesn’t do it himself, then no one else will help, which means he needs to think only for himself, because no one is in this the world doesn't think about him. Such selfishness in children appears as a defensive reaction of a fragile psyche to a sad, scary childhood.

Even if children grow up in a normal family, but their parents are selfish themselves, the child will follow their example. When parents raise a child, guided by their own convenience, and not by the needs of the baby, then the child will later take the same position, because he will see how mom and dad selfishly indulge their whims, so why should the child do anything differently? If parents do not consider it necessary to be close to their child, then he will consider this normal.

How not to raise an egoist?

Understand that we all exist for the sake of procreation, that is, for the sake of children, but we should not lay our lives at their feet and sacrifice everything for their sake;
First of all, adjust your behavior: realize that your care for him is excessive or, on the contrary, he lacks your attention;
Don’t forget to ask and even demand your child’s help in household chores, caring for loved ones, working in the garden, and just involve him in everyone’s help;
From a young age, teach your children to take care of other people, animals, give way to elders, give grandma a chopstick, or pour grandpa a bowl of soup. Be sure to make birdhouses, feed the birds in the winter, scatter crumbs for the pigeons with your child in the summer, go feed the neighbor’s dog - in general, show your child an example of how to take care of others. In this way, kindness, compassion, and care for others will develop in the child; he will think not only about his own whims, but also about the people around him, and will not focus only on his own desires; accordingly, he is unlikely to become selfish. However, the baby should not do this himself - you should help him, and not just show him once and expect that next time the baby will run to feed the bird. Do all good deeds with your child and be sure to praise him for it, so that he feels happy that he did something nice for his mother;
It is important not only to take care of those around you, but also to always be attentive to them - congratulate them on all holidays, happy birthdays, call and ask “how are you” from your relatives. The child must understand what a pleasure it is to bring joy to other people;
Decide to give birth to another baby, but immediately prepare yourself for the fact that you need to love children equally: you need to devote time, encourage them, and raise them equally. Older children are required to help their mother care for the younger ones. However, teach your youngest child to also take care of his older brother. If there is only one child in the family, teach him to take care of other family members, do not put him on a pedestal;
Give your child attention, take care of him and show your love, but do not spoil him, otherwise he will take it for granted;
Try not to quarrel in front of the child, especially do not start large noisy disputes, because any quarrel between parents slowly destroys the protective dome of the child in which he feels safe. And if a child’s sense of reliability is destroyed, then he will simply become fixated on himself and eventually grow up to be an egoist;
Assign your child several feasible household chores, such as completely cleaning his room and wiping dust throughout the apartment. The child should feel responsible for at least the small household chores that he has been assigned;
Gradually relieve yourself of responsibility for the child’s personal affairs - for ensuring that he does not oversleep, is not late, does his homework, etc. Not immediately, but gradually bring the child to the conclusion that he must be responsible for all his personal affairs himself, and you only in the most extreme cases, you will insure him. As they say, “they learn from their mistakes,” therefore, until a child goes through his school of life, he will not learn to truly live;
Offer your child a choice, don’t decide everything for him, because he will grow up without his own opinion, without his own goal, he will live in your thoughts, feel unprotected and demand guardianship from you until old age;
Expand your child’s social circle, don’t keep him under your wing at home, be sure to take him to kindergarten so that the child’s nascent egoism is broken up by society, by the whims, desires and needs of other children and teachers, so that the child knows and understands that he is not the only one this world needs something.

Little children are surrounded on all sides by the love of their families. Mom, dad, grandmothers, aunties, parents’ friends, at the baby’s first request, fulfill all his whims. It seems that the whole world revolves only around the child.

In early childhood, this state of affairs is normal. The baby has not yet thought about the fact that the people around him also have their own desires and interests, and that sometimes it is worth giving in to the needs of others. And to nurture and develop such traits in a child’s character as: mercy, the ability to show care, respect for the older generation and others is one of the main tasks of parents.

Complex of “vitamins” against selfishness:

Let's look at the main points in the behavior of parents, which often awaken and feed notes of selfishness in the child. And if adjustments are not made in a timely manner, then the sweet baby will turn into an irreversible egoist and cold-blooded manipulator.

Is excessive attention a good thing?

Many mothers simply “blow away specks of dust” from their children, justifying themselves by saying that “he was so hard for me,” or “he’s my only son, let him have everything that I didn’t have.” Excessive care for a child is a direct path to Selfishness! Yes, if you have the opportunity to buy this or that item or turn on the TV at the moment, then you can meet the child’s wishes. But if it is clearly visible that the baby is deliberately capricious and requires increased attention, then he needs to be explained that his wishes will not always be fulfilled at this very moment.

It is imperative to justify the reason in cases of refusal or extension of the deadline. This approach will teach the baby patience, the ability to negotiate, give in and prioritize. In addition, if you often give gifts and make purchases on demand, the child will simply stop appreciating things and your attitude towards him.

Praise is a medal with two sides

You can and should praise your children, but you should do it wisely. It's no secret that for every parent, their child is the smartest, most beautiful, talented and beloved. You want to kiss and praise him every minute, especially at an early age. Moderate your ardor a little. Admire, but in moderation. It is also important to rejoice at his achievements and praise him for the work he has done (“what a beautiful applique you have made…”).

Such balancing in praise will prevent your child from developing star fever and will eliminate the complex of seeking the love of a parent “for results.” Discuss his interests with your child more often, find out about his future plans and goals that he would like to achieve. He must have an incentive for self-development. And your children will grow up to be self-sufficient, successful and self-confident people.

Caring for people and nature is a balm for the soul

The best counterbalance to selfishness is altruism. Help your child learn the feeling of selflessness, learn to show mercy and develop observation skills, cultivate respect for nature and the older generation. From an early age, explain to your child about the feelings and interests of other people. And over time, he will learn to compare his mood with his environment and react accordingly to the situation. Share your emotions and thoughts with him. Talk about his friends, discuss your favorite fairy tale characters and their actions.

Foster in your child a sense of responsibility, especially for those who have been tamed. And if the baby wants to have a pet, then you need to explain that you need to not only play with it, but also look after it, and this will entail the expenditure of time, effort and organization. That you will help, but not do everything for him.

Try to develop all the child’s manifestations of independence, and not suppress. If your son wants to help clean up, let him do it. Even though the cleaning will take longer and will not be as high quality, it will instill respect for the work of others and increase the further desire to help.

Financial incentives or use your imagination?

When parents are faced with a child’s contradiction, they often try to resolve the issue with material bribes or entertainment: “if you pass the exam with flying colors, I’ll buy a bicycle,” “if you brush your teeth, you can watch a cartoon,” and so on. In a fairly short time, the child will get used to such “prepayment”, but no positive notes will be added to his character.

Doing work “under duress” has never brought moral pleasure or the opportunity for self-realization. Therefore, it is very important to motivate children so that doing even the most mundane work is entertaining and fun (for example, turn washing dishes and cleaning the apartment into a quest).

Society, the ability to give and lose

Communication with your peers also gives positive results. In kindergarten, at school, on the playground in the yard, the child begins to notice that he is not alone in this world. There are people around him who also need care and love. Communicating with peers and adults, the little man learns equality and gradually realizes himself as a part of society.

Only personal achievements and independent decisions made

Many parents sin by raising their heirs in their own footsteps and achievements, or trying to realize unfulfilled dreams and ambitions in their little one. For the sake of victories and rewards, parents are ready to do housework for him and limit his communication with peers. And when the child begins to resist, they are accused of selfishness and ingratitude. This will only worsen the child’s psychological state and make him withdrawn.

It is very important to teach your child to make his own decisions. He can turn to his parents for advice. This is fine. Tell him, give him some advice. But the child must make the final choice himself.

Raising a person is a difficult task. But only loving parents will help the child grow into a responsible and independent person without any inclinations of selfishness. Patience and good luck to you!

Selfishness is far from the most pleasant trait in a person. But, often, parents themselves do not realize how they are making their child self-centered. After a while, moms and dads become the first to suffer from the fruits of their upbringing.

How to avoid mistakes and raise a child in harmony with the world around him?

“Child-centrism” is the first step to selfishness

Exaggerating the importance of a child is one of the terrible scourges of our time. Parents are literally delighted with every action of their baby, good or bad. This cannot be done. Treat your child adequately: do not praise in vain, but do not ignore truly important actions.

Don't force your views on him

Over time, the child himself will figure out what is good and what is bad. There is no need to forcefully “train” him to be just like you. This deprives children of all motivation and does not allow them to develop their interests and their own views.

Don't do your child's work

If you don’t want to raise a lazy person with no initiative, then let your child cope with the assigned tasks himself. If he doesn’t know how to do it, teach him, show him how to do it, but don’t snatch him out of your hands. Remember that it is natural for a child not to understand or be able to do something; he is just learning to live.

Let's set a positive example

You teach your child that they need to share and help others, but at the same time you yourself refuse small help to a neighbor/relative/friend. A conflict arises in the baby’s head, and moral ideas become vague.

Don't bribe a child

Paying/bonuses for good grades or cleaning the room reduces the value of the actions themselves and makes the child think only about the benefit, and not about his own good. The baby becomes interested only in receiving a cash “bonus”, a promised toy, or sweets.

Overprotection harms children

Do not try to devote too much time to raising a child, cultivating moral values and guardianship. This simply irritates the baby, and he has a desire to do the opposite. Constant excessive care atrophies any interest in learning and leads to the child’s psychological and emotional immaturity.

If you notice that the child’s attention is focused only on himself, then it’s time to take active measures to combat developing egoism. How to do it:

stop “serving” the child in everything, let him make the bed, do his homework and clear away his plates after meals;
let your child feel the consequences of his decisions, let him understand how his actions or inactions affect his quality of life/relationships with people; his own experience is always more valuable than wise advice;
give your child homework, let him perform feasible tasks for the benefit of the whole family (wash the dishes, vacuum the carpet in the living room, etc.);
take an interest in the successes of your child’s friends, talk about them in a positive way;
develop your baby's social life;
Teach your child to help other people and animals.

Altruism and healthy egoism

Nurturing altruistic qualities will help avoid the formation of egoism. Explain to your child that sometimes others need help, and show by your own example how important it is to pay attention to the interests of others. Teach him to do good deeds, sympathize with others, and be friendly.

However, in pursuit of raising an altruistic personality, do not forget to explain to the child that his interests are also important and matter. Teach him to give in, but not to belittle the importance of his own desires. For example: a child accepts the terms of his friend’s game and knows how to give in - excellent. He does this all the time and takes a “subordinate” position - bad. Teach your child to interact with the world, explain and defend his position with words and the right actions.

Busy couples and mothers raise one child and stop there. Is it possible that in the near future society will consist of selfish adults who demand increased attention and are incapable of any healthy connections?

Does a child who grows up without brothers and sisters really turn from a small capricious baby into an adult person who is unpleasant for everyone? And is it possible to raise from an only child in a family a person who knows how to build relationships with the environment.

Modern experts look at this problem differently. Firstly, it is no longer considered something reprehensible for adults. Secondly, the ugly characteristic of “selfishness” may not always appear just because you have an only child.

Myths about only children

A child who grows up alone is excessively surrounded by the attention and care of adults, always gets what he wants on demand, is not ready to accept refusals.

In fact. What leads to spoiling is not the adult’s agreement to help or meet halfway (buy a toy, help with homework), but the willingness to give up one’s desires for the sake of children’s whims. So you can “put anyone on your neck”, and not always a child.

An only child grows up dependent because he does not have time to gain the necessary personal experience.- Adults always help him.

In fact. Modern children spend catastrophically little time in the company of their parents, so they are threatened with an overabundance of help and support only from grandmothers, nannies and governesses. Lack of independence can also be a symptom of “younger” children, who are often in the care of adult brothers and sisters. If from an early age your child has his own responsibilities that are feasible for him, in the future he will be able to fulfill the requirements for both school and work assignments.

The only child is used to getting what he wants through manipulation- whims, threats and disobedience.

In fact. This way of interacting with parents arises out of rather than excess. Children do not understand their desires, often demanding a toy or sweets in order to simply switch attention to themselves. Without delving into his real needs, parents can meet him halfway, but the problem is not solved. There are more and more toys, but at the same time the feeling that you have simply been brushed aside intensifies.

Children like adults

Raising an only child still has its challenges. By giving birth to one, parents may imply that controlling him is not too much of a burden. There is time left for your career, self-care and your own life. There is a danger of going to extremes, and the child finds himself completely abandoned. The problem of selfishness here is no longer the only one and not the worst.

Children growing up without brothers and sisters are more likely to be in the company of their parents than in their own childhood. There are advantages - such children are ahead of their peers in intellectual development and are distinguished by more conscious behavior. At the same time, the child is forced to constantly participate in the lives of adults, involuntarily becoming an interlocutor in topics for which he is not mentally prepared: chores around the house, problems of relationships between relatives, etc. Not all parents know how to separate their lives from the life of the child and devote time specifically to children’s issues. classes. Although you still can’t play with your mother as much as you can with your sister or brother.

Getting used to the fact that mom and dad’s attention is not divided among several children, but belongs to him alone, the child will count on privileged treatment in another society. In the kindergarten group and at school, he will have to get used to the fact that for a teacher he is the same as everyone else.

Being one-on-one with his parents, the child tries to become ideal, the best and flawless for his parents. This can result in his overestimating demands on himself if adults support or encourage him.

No more

Many of the difficulties of raising an only child arise around the parental decision itself - to give birth to only one baby. Requests for a brother and sister will inevitably arise, as well as questions about why it so happens that they do not exist and, perhaps, will not exist. It is important how balanced and consciously adults themselves accept this.

The majority are not against a second and third child, but do not consider themselves to have the right to deprive one for financial reasons and because of employment. Someone is not mature and doubts. If there is anxiety in adults, it can also affect children's calmness. Therefore, it is very important to answer questions, explain why such a decision was made and how you feel about it.

You can compensate your baby for the absence of brothers and sisters if you pay attention to the following rules:

. It’s better not to get hung up on raising a child, but to look for a balance between participating in his life and in your “adult” life. This way, distance is maintained and a feeling of security is created. Only children often become “friends” to their parents, which diminishes the parental status itself. This can create the illusion that there are no authorities; it is not necessary to listen to elders, because you are already on the same wavelength as them;

. try not to “close” the borders of your own family, visit, invite. In a relaxed, free atmosphere with other people (not in a school where there are requirements and rules), children gain a variety of communication experiences;

. A child's selfishness is dangerous, first of all, for himself in the future. The consequences will be not that he is the only one, but that . It is important that your mood and attitude towards him do not depend on his successes or failures.

Usually, from the first days of life, children get used to being the center of attention. They help the child in everything: they feed him, dress him, take him for a walk, look after him. When a baby cries, no one is indifferent: everyone runs to help, trying to understand the reason for the discontent. It often happens that as the child grows, parents no longer respond to his crying not because they want to satisfy the natural needs of the baby, but only his whims. Thus, we discourage the child from learning to do anything on his own. How does it happen that everyone’s favorite smiling baby often grows into a spoiled lazy child – an egoist?

What is egoism?

In psychological science selfishness is understood as a negative value orientation of an individual, which manifests itself in a conscious greedy clash of one’s own interests and the needs of other people and society as a whole. Until about the age of three, children's selfishness is considered completely natural. It represents the natural egoism of a baby, interested exclusively in what can bring him pleasure. The child does not yet particularly need to communicate with peers; he does not yet understand whether it is necessary to share. However, experts believe that even at a very early age a child can become a real egoist. This can happen if parents are thoughtless about raising a child: they shower him with an excessive number of toys, satisfy the slightest whims, and follow the child’s lead. In this way, you can raise a little tyrant who is the law.

“If you do not pay attention to the proper upbringing of a child from infancy, then the demands of a capricious child will increase over the years, and extortion will acquire the status of a strong character trait. Such children torment their parents with constant desires; as adults they are unable to take care of themselves.”

Selfishness of a child

Children, like adults, need the perception of their own individuality, their “I”, distinguishing themselves from the environment, as well as the need for self-affirmation in order to become a real person. These important processes in the formation of a little person usually begin. The baby shows a desire for the approval of others, which is why he needs attention from adults, praise, a manifestation of their love, and a feeling of happiness. In his demands, he can be annoying, stubborn and capricious.

The way a child develops a relationship with the world around him depends on the people around him:

Will he understand other people's desires and feelings?
Will he learn to sympathize with people?
will he help selflessly
or will begin to perceive everyone solely as a source of satisfying his own desires.

Some psychological and ethical teachings consider egoism as an innate character property that supposedly ensures the protection of a person’s life and respect for his interests. At the same time, consumer neglect of the feelings and interests of other people brings conditional fleeting benefits. This attitude leads to the rejection of a person by society, which entails large losses of various types. For this reason, preventing the development of egoism is today the most important task of raising children as socially developed individuals.

Causes of children's selfishness

Blind love of parents. This is the most common problem today. The focus is on the child. All his questions – significant and not so significant – received a positive answer. Such children react to refusal with a scandal, hysteria, screaming, squealing and lying on the floor.
Lack of independence of the child. If parents do not allow their son or daughter to perform basic actions, this will lead to the sustainable formation of selfishness in their character. Such parents clean up their children’s toys throughout their entire childhood, and the children ignore all their parents’ requests.
Encouraging success. If you do the math, I'll buy a chocolate bar. Sound familiar? This is how altruism (the complete opposite of selfishness) is destroyed at the root: the child is unlikely to want to do things in life just like that.

Manifestations of selfishness

There is a period in the life of younger preschoolers when they say: “I, I, I... I jump higher than everyone else. I draw better than anyone. I can climb the highest hill. I am the bravest." At this age, there is a natural need to show one’s strength, to show a desire to do something. Parents are always deeply touched by their child’s achievements. They strive to tell everyone what a wonderful child they have, how quickly he is developing, how cleverly everything works out for him. However, often mom and dad don’t notice (or don’t try to notice) that in this way they contribute to the child’s focus only on themselves. Excessive praise and admiration do not benefit the child, but only raise him to be selfish.

Manifestations of selfishness also occur in such cases when parents try to fulfill all the whims of the child: “We didn’t have a happy childhood, let him have it!” If, as the child grows up, the indulgence of his whims does not decrease, then the child grows up as a selfish consumer and manipulator. An adult child's demands increase, and he will use a variety of methods to achieve his goal, for example, to buy a new smartphone, tablet, laptop, fashionable dress, or simply give him money. This is how the child turns into an extortionist who simply mocks his parents, least of all thinking about their capabilities. Such children do not value their parents and do not try to understand their feelings and expectations. A daughter or son is used to thinking how good it would be for them all the time. Without taking action in time, parents will see how their children have become cruel, cold-blooded, and greedy.

There are cases when a child’s selfishness develops in the form egocentrism: non-acceptance of another point of view, focus on one’s own desires, refusal to understand other people. Children raised in such traditions are unable to adequately convey information, communicate, or understand the motivation of their interlocutors. Believe me, entering adulthood with such a set of qualities will not be easy. Such children will face many failures, disappointments and difficulties in communication.

Selfishness can also manifest itself in the form infantilism(developmental immaturity, retention of traits characteristic of very young children). Such children take care for granted. It wouldn’t occur to a child that he could take care of someone himself. Such children do not know how and do not want to make decisions. Usually they cannot live without their parents all their lives, needing care until old age.

Parents' mistakes in education

The child’s selfishness and its development as the main direction of character are a consequence of improper upbringing. What are parents' mistakes on education in this direction?

“Did you know that preventing the development of a child’s selfishness depends on taking into account his individual character traits and the help of parents in building the right relationships with peers and adults?”

Altruism

Altruism- the exact opposite concept of egoism. Altruism is a concept that implies actions aimed at selfless help and caring for others. Do you want your child to grow up to be a respected, worthy member of society? It is necessary to teach him, first of all, to take into account the opinions of others, to listen to people and help them, to be attentive to them. is not able to do this.

“Do you know that in order to resist the formation of a negative (unnecessary) quality, you need to strive to cultivate the opposite quality?”

So, how to cultivate the altruistic principle in a child?

Let's start with empathy. Empathy means the ability to sympathize and empathize with people's experiences. With the help of conversations, examples from life, good old movies and cartoons, you can cultivate empathy in a child. This will be a good prevention of selfishness, will greatly simplify the baby’s future life, and will give a greater chance of success.
We teach that asking for help is not a shame. Kindness and responsiveness can be taught to a child by explaining that all people can find themselves in a helpless situation. In this case, everyone should be able to come to the rescue. Teach children to be attentive to people, to be imbued with their states.

Stop being responsible for your child's affairs. Do you recognize the situation when you wake up your child for school in the morning with great difficulty? Does it happen when schoolchildren demand: “Why didn’t you iron it/sew it/clean it/cook it?” Schoolchildren are quite mature people who can easily serve themselves. Children should have their own responsibilities: wake up on time in the morning and go to school, learn homework, clean up after themselves, . Taking care of little things prevents a child from growing up. Let him have a sense of responsibility.
The benefits of negative experiences. A child’s negative experience is an effective way to realize how to do the right thing. It is in these cases that he will actually become an adult, and therefore completely independent.
Don't force it. It is not recommended to force a child to do something he does not like. Let him learn to take responsibility for his decisions.
Help around the house. A preschooler can already cope with household chores: dust, wash a plate, make the bed. Let him help - it fosters the need to take care of loved ones.
Ask how things are going. A child who is interested will show the same attention to the people around him. He will not be indifferent to how they feel, what is going on with them, what their successes are. An attentive child is no longer an egoist.

Watch a video with practical advice from a psychologist on how to maintain a balance of love and discipline when parenting

Conclusions

Try to raise your child in the traditions of kindness, selflessness, generosity, and you will see how easy it will be for him to move through life. Such children value their parents, thank them later for their good upbringing, and take care of them in their declining years.