- A man is like a ball; when a woman lets him go, he unwinds, and when she picks him up, he unwinds.
- If men's dreams of an ideal woman came true, then legs, breasts and lips would walk the streets.
- The most impudent creatures are men, from where they came out and are climbing!
- My mother used to say that God gave a man two heads, but there is so little blood that you can only think with them one at a time.
- If a man thinks that he changes women like gloves, he is mistaken - he just walks from hand to hand!
- A man without an army is like tea without brewing... And if I like coffee. -
- Men usually hang all their things on the floor.
- While you are looking for a real man, you can get a lot of pleasure with fake ones!
- Men's logic is iron! And the women's is MORE INTERESTING...
- Money does not spoil men as long as there is a woman who removes this damage...
- The man said - the man pretended... that he didn’t say anything...
- A weak man does not know how to get a woman into bed, and a strong man does not know how to drive her out of there.
- Even the most strict and stony man cannot resist the phrase: “Well, paaaaaaaaap, you love me, don’t you?”
- Sometimes a man, like a cuckoo, also carries his eggs into other people’s nests...
- No matter how badly a man thinks about women, any woman thinks even worse about him.
- The last word should always remain with the man... and it should be: “Of course, Beloved!”
- A man is a person who divides flowers into two types: roses and “what’s this called?”
- In order not to get bored of a man, a woman changes dresses, and in order not to get bored of a woman, a man changes women.
- Men have a strange logic: if they smile, it means they want to communicate; communicates - means he will give; If she didn’t give it, it means she’s a whore.
- Men are like snow... You don’t know when it will fall and how many centimeters it will fall!
- Men prefer women who strain their dicks rather than their brains...
- Men are like bluetooth: when they are close there is a good connection, when they are far away they immediately start looking for new devices.
- Why do men want their child to be a boy? Because I really want a radio-controlled helicopter!
- All men are monsters! There is only one thing left to do - feed them better!
- Men are like dolphins: they say they are smart, but no one has yet proven it.
- Men, you love women's hair so much: kissing it, stroking it, inhaling its scent... So why do you freak out when you find it in the soup?
- The only one ideal man- this is Harry Potter
- On buses, trams and trolleybuses, men always sit with their eyes closed because it hurts them to see women standing.
- A man who can understand a woman usually lives with another man.
- A smart woman always knows what best gift for a man on February 23rd it’s a blowjob, not shampoo and shower gel.
#51. Guys love everyone with their eyes, but love one with their hearts!
#52. Weak men take mistresses, and strong men- strong families!
#53. It's a shame that most guys have stopped pursuing the ones they like. they choose those who will definitely agree...
#54. Guys, life is good if the cognac you drink is
older than the women you sleep with!
#55. And yet there are men who evoke a very strong desire to wait for them at home in the evening with a hot dinner)
#56. A man is never so weak as when a pretty girl starts telling him how strong he is)
#57. You can seduce a man who has a wife, you can seduce a man who has a mistress, but you cannot seduce a man who has a beloved woman.
#58. If a man loves, he will not disappear and appear again, he will always be there, and you will feel that you are not alone. If a man loves, he will not force a woman to live with hopes, but will live with hopes himself. If a man loves, a woman feels it.
#59. Man is the basis of activity. A woman is the basis of a man.
#60. A man can speak beautifully, look great, have good feeling humor, adhere to his principles, but he must have a goal and he must go towards it, otherwise all this does not matter.
#61. The dream of a real man is to hold a child from the woman he loves in his hands.
#62. Your future husband must be not only a husband, but also a father, mother and brother, because you are leaving your family in order to be with him and follow his path. And you have the right to see in him the mercy of a father, the tenderness of a mother and the friendship of a brother!
#63. I always dreamed of finding a man with whom I would feel like a little girl. Until I realized that all men are like little girls. Milla Jovovich.
#64. When a man likes a woman, he is not interested in her past or even her present - he simply cares about her future.
#65. When a man loves a woman, the cockroaches in her head seem like ladybugs to him.
#66. A man was created by nature to create, discover, master, conquer.
A woman - to protect, heal, teach, wait.
#67. Advice for men:
If you like a girl, grab her and make her happy - often, long, passionately, deeply, and whatever else she asks.
#68. In general, it’s probably cool to be a boy. You fuck whoever you want and no one will call you a whore.
#69. Men have 2 rules: bring the woman you love to tears, and bring another woman to orgasm. Only after this are you a real man.
#70. Woman, remember! In order for a man not to have a mistress, he must go out with a full stomach and empty balls!
#71. If there’s something about me that doesn’t suit you, then you can take the drum and lead the column of those going to hell!
#72. The deeper the neckline on a woman's dress, the easier she breathes, but the harder a man breathes...
#73. You yourself are assholes, I'm a balloon
#74. I don't change - I compare!
#75. Forget you? What do you! I should remember first...!
#76. There's sawdust in her head, nope!!! But there is paper in the bra... yes...
#77. I hate it when girls write “I’m hard to find and easy to lose”! What are you, socks?
#78. Arguing with a girl is like cutting a pig. No fur, but a lot of squealing!
#79. Do you love freedom? Free!
#80. “You are the most beautiful freak I have ever seen”)))
#81. Beautiful roses, beautiful bouquet. Handsome boy, but no loyalty
#82. his eyes are beautiful. so familiar. insanely kind. and sad.. it’s not difficult to fall in love with such eyes. they give you the desire to live. namely to live, and not to exist...
#83. In the lower grades, boys beat beautiful girls with briefcases to the head, and then they wonder why all the beautiful girls are fools
#84. He thinks that she has someone, seeing romantic statuses... so he doesn’t write. she thinks that he doesn’t need him, seeing the indifferent online... and dedicates statuses to him.
#85. I want a heating pad. Height from 175. Green or brown eyes. Warm and gentle hands must be included in the kit. Delivery by mail or courier)
#86. ..mmm...he is so cute and smiles so beautifully....)) and no one will guess to whom this is dedicated.
The best statuses about men on Statuses-Tut.ru! It is generally accepted that women are mysterious creatures with strange logic. Yes, they are! But men are no gift either! Maybe we're just with different planets? Or were men created as a punishment for women for their beauty and easy-going nature? No, they are what they are! Strong, brave, beautiful, dexterous, cheerful, caring, a little lazy, clumsy, forgetful, inattentive, but still so loved! On the website Status-Tut.ru you will find funny statuses about men for all occasions! For centuries, the beautiful half of humanity has tried to understand men. What is most important to them, family or freedom, work or family, home comfort or get-togethers with friends, football or lying on the sofa and many other male quirks. I wonder if they themselves always understand the motives of their actions? Statuses about men with meaning are interesting statements by famous men about themselves. Perhaps the truth is out there somewhere?!
Funny statuses about your beloved man!
Why do we love men? Everyone has their own answer to this question. After all, sometimes we love in spite of everything, simply because he is not like everyone else, the best, the only one and so dear. When we love, we do not notice flaws. Maybe love is blind, but is it bad? when two people find each other and create a family? Statuses about your beloved man on your page on social networks will help you once again tell him about your most secret things. And yet they are very strange. They say that women love with their ears, but men love with their eyes. I wonder where my husband’s eyes were when, while crossing the road at a traffic light, he tripped and fell, breaking his arm. I know for sure that my husband was looking at the size six breasts that were coming towards him. Or another example: I decided to go to the theater, I spent a long time choosing a performance, I just needed to buy tickets. And he bought a ticket to the circus! And is it my problem with logic? Women have these conversations when men are not around. Do you want to laugh with your favorite friends? Funny statuses about men on Statuses-Tut.ru - this is your chance once again chat about male oddities.Beautiful statuses about real men!
They say that real men disappeared a long time ago, died out like mammoths. If this is true, then who gave you a gorgeous bouquet of flowers? And anyway, who are these real men? If he sits with the children while you and your friend go shopping, helps your mother plant potatoes in her dacha, does homework with his son, with your dad repairing his old Volga, loves to cook, listens about your girlfriends and their lazy husbands and then walks the dog. It turns out that real men are next to us. Statuses about real men posted on your VKontakte page will become a kind of declaration of love!Fascinating sayings about women and men!
A man and a woman are two halves of one whole. Remember this beautiful ancient legend about how Zeus punished strange creatures with four arms and four legs, two faces. These creatures were strong and powerful and wanted to overthrow the Olympian gods. And Zeus cut the creatures into two halves, and so people appeared - men and women. And they wander around the Earth in search of each other, but not everyone is destined to unite. Statuses about women and men are fascinating quotes about the eternal search for truth.Cool quotes about men!
There is an old Soviet film called "Men." A wonderful movie about a man who was able to take responsibility and become a father to three orphans. Very often this word is derogatory with a negative connotation. Like, a man is such a rude creature for whom the poems of A.S. Pushkin is complete nonsense, and Fellini is a brand of car. But a man is a real master of his word, who knows his worth, is not afraid of any work, is a strong and self-confident man. Just for you, Status-Tut.ru has an excellent selection of statuses for men!A man should be a little sloppy: either his fly is unbuttoned, or his sleeve is covered in shit.
As soon as a photograph of my wife appeared in the wallet, the money immediately disappeared from it.
Women have no conscience at all! The main thing is that she washes her panties with towels, and my damn ones with socks!
I asked Rambler... where is my beloved... 200 porn sites the window gave me.
A true gentleman does not leave behind dirty dishes: he eats potatoes and cutlets directly from the frying pan, and soup from the pan.
A real man considers socks not clothes, but shoes...
An example of purely male logic: - Should I pour some? - No, I'm driving. - Why did you come by car? I would leave her at home. - I was in a hurry - I thought you’d start drinking without me!
He: Do you want me to give you everything: the sky, the stars, the moon, the whole universe... She: ... and what, there’s no money at all?
Kamasutra? Bullshit, you should have seen the poses in which I sit in front of the computer.
Why is there a man in the apartment? For some reason, everyone decided: to saw, plan, to hammer nails. Insulate the apartment in the cold, and fix a leaky faucet... And a man is needed in the apartment so that the sofa is not empty!
Women are of great benefit, even when they promise and don’t show up: brush your teeth, shave smoothly and sleep on fresh sheets!
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t swear... I almost dropped the bull into my glass...
A man is like a ball: when a woman lets him go from her hands, he unwinds, and when she takes him in her hands, he unwinds...
All you had to do was ask a man to help wash the dishes - and an automatic dishwasher immediately appeared.
Male fidelity: married for the fourth time, but the mistress is still the same.
A man and a woman are lying on the bed and looking at the ceiling. The woman’s thoughts: “He’s silent. He doesn’t want to talk. Surely, he’s already stopped loving me, he has someone else. The relationship is over.” The man’s thoughts: “A fly, a fly on the ceiling. How is it holding on?
I’m the man in the house, I want to control everything! But my wife doesn’t allow it:
Think about it... in Google translator from Russian to Tagalog the word LIFE is translated as Buhay. - What a native he is, this Tagalog
Observation: men have headaches more often in the morning, and women - in the evening.
I didn’t even think about love... But you leaned in so opportunely!
Nature didn’t like men and didn’t give them anything, she only rewarded them with a stick - and even then she called them crap.
If it weren't for women, men would wear socks for more than a week.
My mother told me: “Don’t lie on your side.” I didn’t listen, I lay down! As a result, he broke both arms, ribs, and the toilet to pieces...
It was a very strange forest... First I went for mushrooms, then they followed me!
The only strong feeling that a man willingly admits to a woman is the feeling of hunger.
He fell to his knees in front of me and said: “Fuck, it’s slippery...”
Alcohol increases sex drive. Sometimes you drink, you lie down on the floor, and you’re so reluctant to get up...
Male sign: if you start combing your hair in the morning, it’s time to get a haircut.
The longest and most exciting journey begins with the words “I know a shortcut”
If a woman is a shopaholic, then her man is usually a bastard
I want to crawl under the table like a little girl, hug my knees and cry... - Diman, what happened? - My wife crashed the car.
The magazine "Murzilka" for 1983 contains a children's tongue twister (try reading it quickly). "Oh, at the spruce, ah, at the spruce, ah, at the spruce there are evil wolves."
For a man to undress and not rub is the same as for a woman to try on and not buy.
If you have dinner at the table in the kitchen, it means you don’t have the Internet
A woman is like ice cream, she should be sweet and melt. And a man is like coffee: strong and keeps you from falling asleep.
There is only one step from love to hate, and it must be taken proudly to the accompaniment of Mendelssohn’s march.
When a woman washes the floor, she believes that it will become cleaner, and when a man washes, she believes that the floor will soon end.
In fact, men recognize the presence of female intuition, but call it in their own way: “Nakarkala!”
Love comes... Love goes... Love comes... Love goes... Bitch. She started wandering around.
Vodka has done more to protect animals in hunting than all Greenpeace combined.
When will they finally come up with computers that can respond to the voice command “fuck!” cancel all recent actions???
Drink, you'll die, don't drink, you'll die, so drink while you live!)
Pants are given to guys to hide their thoughts.
The guy will definitely let the lady go first if the slit on her dress is at the back.
Bachelor eggs: opened the refrigerator, scratched the eggs, closed the refrigerator.
A hundred meters for bread is a long way, but a kilometer for beer is just around the corner!
What can lead a man's logic into a dead end is the phrase: Honey, give me some colored bobby pins!
An impeccable man does not drink alcohol, you will not see him with a cigarette in his hands, he does not visit gambling establishments and does not pay attention to strangers. Such a man never gets involved in an argument and is generally absent from nature!
A lone wolf, a skilled lover, a true man - it is not a problem for him to hammer a nail, take out the trash, or shake out the carpet. If only they fed them regularly!!!
A man can be called real if his woman has never had a choice.
There are no more impudent creatures called men: they always strive to climb into places where they once crawled out with such zeal!
Best status:
Men! If you, having found out that a girl is cheating on you, decided to jump from the 10th floor, then I want to remind you: YOU HAVE BEEN HANGED, AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE WINGS!
“If there were no women, men would wear clean socks no more than once every two weeks” (Cynthia Nelms)
I want to meet a young man who, when he comes to spend the night with me, would bring not a package of condoms, but a bar of chocolate and a good movie...
For men, adolescence is a period when young women are no longer interested in you, and old women are not yet interesting to you!!!
And now I see you coming to me, beautiful flowers in your hands... what a wonderful evening it would be today if you shaved your beard!
By combining a vibrator and a functioning ATM you can get the perfect man.
Lord, please grant me wisdom to understand a man, love to forgive and be patient with his constant changes of mood... I just don’t need strength, otherwise I’ll kill him, by God =).
At 20 years old a man is a playboy, at 40 – playman, at 60 – play-off, at 80 – game ove
Let the men think that they are smarter than us. Let them think that they are more talented, more capable, luckier, and earn more. Let it be. But we have boobs, boobs! | id78636053
A man is like a ball: when a woman lets him go, he unravels, and when she picks him up, he unwinds...
Men want depraved relationships with beautiful women, women want beautiful relationships with depraved men.
A man's home is his fortress, but only from the outside. Inside it is most often a children's room
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t swear... I almost dropped the bull into my glass...
I may love your sweet eyes, your beautiful lips, but I hate that bastard who lives there, inside you!
Been eyeing one for a long time young man, came up, spoke, got acquainted. Damn, I was not mistaken! It's really blue!
He tells me that he loves me, pampers me, fulfills all my whims, and most importantly, always reminds me that men are assholes. I love my dad.
Dear men! If you cannot read “I sent it to you” correctly the first time, then this is your personal problem!
Remember: the nicer the guy, the less you can trust him. This is the law!
Any man can be tamed, but not every woman can do it
Men are divided into two types: the ordinary bastard and the extraordinary bastard!
A man wants to be a woman's first, while a woman wants to be a man's last.
A man is a creature opposite in gender to a woman
“Don’t flatter yourself by sleeping with a hot fashion model. Maybe she's just curious? How is this? With a sucker?!”)))
Girls love immodest men, men love modest girls. But if girls should be modest regarding material wealth, then a man should not be modest in terms of achieving everything that is needed to make the chosen one happy
A real man fights in three cases: for the Motherland, for the mother and for the woman he loves. In all other cases, roosters fight...
Men's snoring is designed by nature so that a woman would not be too upset that her husband did not come home to spend the night.
The difference between a man and a boy is the cost of their toys
no matter how badly a man thinks about women, any woman thinks even worse about him
A man who does not find time for his children has no right to be called a real man.
Men are like shoes - either comfortable or spectacular... both together - never!)))
Usually women call a goat someone whom they failed to turn into a ram.
Men love beautiful and inaccessible... I'll go put on my makeup and lock myself in the safe...))
And a man should leave gracefully, just as he came... That is, forever...
Guys.. They offer their hand and buy chocolate. They can pick us up if there is a puddle, some of them think that we are small and need to be hugged - and they are right! | id16555481
What kind of men do I love? From social in a package! 3
Nervous, shy and respectable... really, you can’t imagine worse qualities for a man!
It's good to be a man because you don't have to kiss someone else's three-day stubble.
A handsome, generous, intelligent, non-drinking, kind, gentle and non-partying man can be easily seen, well, at least in a dream...
Where have the brave guys and men gone? Another day was a waste of makeup!
Women know that men are not as stupid as people think - they are dumber
Previously, men took off their hats when they met... But now they take out the earphone from their ear..)
They tell us all sorts of things…”you are so beautiful”…”you are so sweet”...But why is it so difficult for them to say “You are my only and beloved”...
Men are like... Mascara... They also wash off at the first manifestation of emotions...
If you can’t contain your emotions, go to the closet, no one likes hysterics! | id39918005
Men are like children: they love to be led by the hand, but are considered big
While you are breaking down, they confess their love to her, offer to meet her, find out her phone number... and you break down, break down further...
For men, everything is simple - I came home, hung my clothes... On the floor....
You feel especially acutely as a man when you receive a blow between your legs.
Men have a sincere respect for everything that bores
If you put a skirt on a man and cut off his legs, you get a bell
Men belong to the order of arthropods; they first please the penis, and then do the legs.
Where are you, where are you guys hiding, little lovebirds? How long will it take to find you, and keep everyone busy with the girls? Respond, guys! With a marriage proposal. I am appealing to you seriously, but where are you, that’s the question! This one is drunk, this one is wilted, this one is like an old man at forty.
A man does not think about himself only in those moments when he is sure that someone else is thinking only about him
Men are like snow... You don’t know when it will fall and how many centimeters it will fall!
If a real guy likes a girl, then he will move mountains to see her smile and hear her laughter every day. Remember...
They write on packs of cigarettes that they cause lung cancer, on bottles of alcohol that they are harmful to health, and why are there no signs on men that they cause... nervous system will there be anything left?
Science has proven to all of us that the main gossips on earth are men. I say – science has proven it!! Science!!! What complaints can there be against me?!!
Men are the same goats, only they walk on two legs, and the count of the horn here depends on the woman who is nearby
Husbands and lovers, do your duty, do not rely on each other!
Men are like precious things beautiful dress, it looks good, but I’ve already seen it on some bitch!
They are all goats, and our fate is to break off their horns so that they don’t butt heads so much!!! |
Now is a completely different, strange time, before for everyone beautiful girl was a nice guy. Now for every pretty guy there's a pretty guy
An ideal man should speak to a woman like a Goddess and treat her like a child...
Dear men trying to break my heart... remember once and for all - it’s easier to break my head!!!
Men are like toilets, sometimes covered in shit, sometimes always busy...
Dear, where should I put the Snickers so that you really stop slowing down?!
The motto of many guys is: “Monogamous -... but many things!!!”
All men are bastards, but we women cannot live without these bastards!
A real man considers socks not clothes, but shoes...
You can't be worse than those I already know!
It’s easier for men, their mothers-in-law love...
You can distinguish a serious guy when he is allowed to touch a girl in any place, and he only takes her by the hands
Men usually don't listen to what you say to them - they listen to what they themselves are going to say
The best way to get a man to do something is to hint to him that he is too old for such things.
It's bitterly cold outside, my dick is standing just in case. And not a ruble in my pocket. Happy twenty-third of February!
A little boy walks and sings: - Someone else’s lips caress you... An older guy comes up: - Did the girl leave you? -No, I lost Chupa-Chups!”
When a man says, “Maybe,” it’s most likely “no.” In a woman’s mouth the same words are usually “yes”
Like every man, I carry a weapon of violence with me
Didn't like women... couldn't keep up.
All women are different: all blondes are fools, all redheads are witches, all brunettes are bitches, and only men are all the same - just goats... =)
I cook for him - he eats, I wash for him - he wears, I clean up after him - he throws everything away. And what would I do without him?
A strong man is not one who says: “Choose!” And the one who takes you by the hand and leads you away!
Sometimes some ridiculous trifle is enough to understand something to which your eyes have been closed for years!
My God, give me wisdom to understand a man! Give love - to forgive him! Patience - to withstand his character! Just don’t give me any strength, otherwise I’ll kill him!!!
All men are the same, but some are more the same
He's just impudent! When I told him that I didn’t want to see him, he turned off the light...
She opened her heart to him, and meanwhile he zipped up his fly and called a taxi...
Bachelor's motto: “Better milk from the refrigerator than a cow in the kitchen”
I need an adult guy, not a little boy who pretends to be someone I don't understand!
A man is always right... in the absence of his wife!
The hands of a kind woman wrapped around a man’s neck are a life preserver thrown to him by fate from the sky.
A properly abandoned man returns like a boomerang...)
Men, be careful when dumping women: there are boomerangs among them!
Men are like pimples: at first they irritate you, then you get used to them, and then they disappear!
A man is like a Ferris wheel... you look at him and you want to ride... and when you ride, you want to puke...
And remember, there are millions of men in the world who are much more beautiful, smarter and more interesting than you, but all this does not matter if you have touched her heart... |
My boyfriend is the perfect man! There are no perfect people... that's why I don't have a boyfriend!))
Men are like dolphins: they say they are smart, but no one has yet proven it |
Get married no matter what. If you get caught good wife, you will be an exception, and if you are bad, you will become a philosopher!
Men what soap bubbles: the first one is always unsuccessful, the second one is already better, but only the third one is truly beautiful and rosy
There is nothing worse than deceiving a man... But there is nothing more pleasant when it works out.
Only a caring man brings coffee to bed in the morning so that an equally caring woman will grind it and brew him a fragrant hot cup of coffee for breakfast...
Mlyn... they give birth to such handsome boys, but they raise such poops... =(
Real men change the world! The rest are chewing snot!
Hang up, defiantly leave, get offended, freak out, send... do you think these are girls? No! These are the guys we have now...
If a man calls a woman a bitch, it means he has lost all hope of calling her a fool.
We easily answer “no” to guys’ proposals. Have you ever wondered how much courage it takes to just come up and invite you?
This is how it would be if men washed, cleaned, cooked, and we would lie on the sofa in front of the TV and want them
It's high time for men to understand that only snowmen are contraindicated in a lot of heat.
Only then will a guy understand how dear a girl is to him when he sees her with someone else...
if a husband gives flowers for no reason, then there is a reason after all
Hey baby, one more signal from your platform and your teeth will move!
Men are surprisingly illogical: they insist that all women are the same and constantly change one for another...
Men are like shoes! I want to buy boots with stiletto heels... but I only come across felt boots!..
It's easier for a guy to say I'm a whore, I envy the one who can afford her
Men love beautiful women more than smart people, because it’s easier for them to look rather than think.
Advertisement. I'll give the guy to good hands. 20 years old, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t swear, calls every day, needs to be walked once a month. For details, please contact me personally =)
What's the difference between a pig and a man? A pig does NOT turn into a man after drinking
A man is such a bastard, worse than a woman.
People like him don't go crazy. They want to marry people like him.
He was worst person in my life. Or the best, I don't know yet. If it is true that you have to learn from your mistakes, then he is my best mistake. He is my brightest and most favorite failure.
All men are the same, only their salaries are different
You can drown in his eyes, his smile will melt any heart, and his gaze will make you smile... |
Men are like mice. Separately, you look at it - it’s a cute, touching animal, but when it starts up in the house, you immediately want to poison it
Yes, yes, you’re a cool kid, just let’s change the diaper and wipe your sniffles!
My mother used to say that God gave a man two heads, but there is so little blood that you can only think with them in turn.
